//------------------------------//
// 8: Love and games by VelvetHeart 
// Story: Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots 
// by TheQuietMan 
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Love and Games by VelvetHeart

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From the diary of Turgid Heart, therapist:

Today I had a most fascinating conversation with a stallion of a most unusual caliber. While, of course, I'd read about him in the paper, I admit I never considered actually meeting him during my visit to a quaint little town called Ponyville.

You see, I found myself with some time to spare for a late bruncheon at one of the local feeding establishments only to find my table already taken by a creature with the name Lero, whose full name and spelling escapes me at the moment. This rather exotic male seemed entirely accommodating when it came to friendly conversation about our birthplaces, but soon the subject wandered and eventually, I found myself listening to Lero's description of one of his favored entertainments back home.

I admit, I felt more than a fair share of horror as he described a bloody battle as if it were but a game with neither consequence nor pain. Close friends cruelly shooting each other, time and time again; it sounded like a gore-filled massacre with a bodycount in the scores.

It was when he described his favored instrument of victory (a 'pump-action shoot-gun') that I finally understood something that cleared the growing terror from my bowels: He was speaking almost entirely in euphemisms!

It was the pumping action he mimicked with his foreleg that finally caused it to click in my head. The 'battle' starts after the human stallions have prepared themselves, and soon they are running around, 'pumping their action'. Once another human stallion is spotted, the 'fight' begins, in which the two stallions attempt to spray each other, preferably in the face, until one of them is covered in enough seed and submits. At this point, the 'loser' lays down on his back, and receives the victor's testicles in his mouth in gratitude, bathing them in saliva and helping the victor to recover from the previous ejaculations. This is called 'teabagging', a rather humorous little term apparently drawn from the idea of repeatedly swirling your 'baggie' in something hot and moist (the loser's mouth).

This would explain the clear lack of mares on the 'battlefield' of this all-stallion orgy-game, and Lero verified, once asked, that mares attempting to join the orgy often get negative and even hateful responses from the participating stallions, who make various remarks in regards to the mares' desire for sex or their lack of beauty.

I admit, this is one sport I would've loved to see imported to Equestria, however, there were some points of worry that came up throughout the conversation: He described some of the qualities of various shootpenises such as the ejaculation frequency, ejaculation range, accuracy, and the refractory period (the 'reload time'), and more than once mentioned a never-ending quest for a better shootpenis.

A quick glance in the stallion's concealing garments (subtly, with magic) proved that Lero was fully extended to the point I could not discern the sheath itself, but flaccid. This seemed to indicate some mild sexual interest in the conversation and gave me a good idea of his personal anatomy. The size of his stallionhood seemed modest compared to pony stallions at full extension, and seems unlikely to grow much during erection. This, combined with his clearly excessive clothing coverage of his genitals (indicating shame) and earlier-mentioned desire for a larger and more powerful penis has left me with a theory that this Lero subconsciously feels that he is somehow inferior and insufficient to meet the needs of his herd.

As such, I have decided to invite Lero to join my 'Your Anatomy Is Lovable' therapy group. I'm sure that, with his thorough previous experience with stallion-on-stallion sexuality, he will fit in with the other stallions in the group just fine and will feel far more confident about his penis by the end.

I fear preparing the paperwork to include Lero has eaten up much of my time today, so my original plans were slightly postponed. Tomorrow, I will continue on to my originally-intended destination: Sweet Apple Acres, where, according to a reader's letter in the latest issue of SuperSizeStuds, a stallion by the name of Big Macintosh lives. Apparently he is very unhappy with his impressively-large stallionhood. Clearly, he too needs to learn to love his anatomy.

--Turgid Heart, Therapist.


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With a heavy thump, Big Macintosh took center stage, his eyes roaming the circle of his fellow therapy groupmembers. "Ah'm Big Macintosh," The stallion took a deep breath, exhaled, sat down, and finally exposed himself fully. "And mah big penis is loveable."

"Your penis is loveable!"

"Your penis is loveable!"

"Your penis is loveable!"

"...Oh gawd, this can't be happening..."

"Your penis is loveable!"