//------------------------------// // chapter: 4 // Story: Rapscallion // by monkeyXtypewriter //------------------------------// Drazen once again found himself hurtling towards the ground. He’d made quite a few visits throughout the fight; only a few of them reciprocated to discord. So much so, that the garden was beginning to look like a lot like a block of Swiss cheese in fact. It’s not easy being that cheesy. The uneven terrain was making it difficult to fight on the ground, so the majority of it was done in the air. That of course meant that more often then not, Drazen would be sent flying back down towards the earth. It was a viscous cycle. Drazen pulled himself from the latest crater with an inaudible groan. Coincidently, this crater had taken the rough shape of his body because of the softer stone he crashed into. He guessed clay or mud. Drazen didn’t even have to look to know that Discord still had that shit-eating grin on his face, floating there with his snaggletooth, mocking him. “You okay there champ? Looks like you’ve fallen and cant get up.” Discord sniggered maliciously. “Here. Let me give you a paw.” Drazen felt something strong wrap around his arm and throw him with great force across the ground. He skidded and tumbled like a stone across water, easily smashing through a cobblestone wall and spilling out onto the main street. Through the dulled film of pain that had settled over his entire body, Drazen could just hear the screams of frightened ponies, no doubt scared witless by the display of rubble and dust. Drazen groaned pathetically but managed to right his footing and stand. Even with all the wards and magic he’d still taken quite a beating; a testament to the unreal draconequus strength. Nothing was broken though, and that was good, but his coat would be covered with bruises for quite a while, and he wouldn’t be surprised if a rib or two was cracked. That’s not to say he didn’t give discord a run for his money. Drazen was pretty sure that the hit with his staff was enough to at least break bone and the numerous scratches marring discords coat were… well numerous. He did think the effect was diminished somewhat because of the lack of bleeding, though. Every scratch caused by either of them would leave orange and blue scars, essentially cauterizing the wound with the same solid energy that formed the discs they used for medium range fighting. A whizzing sound filled the air suddenly, and Drazen had just enough time to leap out of the way as discord crashed into the ground in a bathtub. Discord screamed a very girlish scream when the dust settled and the two locked gazes. Drazen rolled his eyes, but that was all Discord needed to grab the lip of the tub, do a summersault; still holding the bath, and throw it at his enemy. The ceramic missile sailed through the air, the water becoming concrete with a snap of discords paw. It impacted not Drazen, but the wall behind him; spreading spider web cracks across the brickwork of the fine doughnut eatery unlucky enough to get in the way. No sooner had Discord touched down, Drazen shot forward like a bullet and grabbed his neck in his free claw, throwing threw him much like he had done to him in the garden. The only difference was that Discord stopped when he hit the wall. It served to daze him long enough for Drazen to close the distance and punch him straight through the bricks… …Or at least he would have, had discord not sidestepped. Seeing the opportunity, discord delivered a knee right into Drazen’s tummy, this time driving the air from his lungs and throwing spittle – and Drazen – across the courtyard where he came to a stop by a stage in the middle. As if to just add insult to injury, Drazen landed slumped against the platform – the barrels on top leaking cider on his head from the bungholes. Discord nimbly landed on the top of Drazen’s scythe like a cat. The blade had embedded into the stone nearby, only an inch or two shy of concealing the entire blade, and the staff sticking at an angle upwards. “How?” Drazen croaked, his voice groggy and sore. “Soul-stone saps you faster than a blonde with a credit card. How are you so strong still?” Discord chuckled that condescending chuckle. “It’s quite elementary my dear pup, you see, it wasn’t soul-stone” he said in a mater-of-fact tone. “It was flour! Brilliant if I do say so my self.” He not so modestly rubbed a paw to his chest. “My first go with corruption landed me in the stuff unfortunately. So when I was released I was weak as… well… you, and needed to recuperate. At the last moment before I was hit with those demandable elements of harmony, I encased myself in faux-flour and played it off excellently.” Discord boasted. “You should have seen it. It was great.” camera flashes went off and an award appeared in his claw. He even had a bowtie. “Aint’ that just a fun-fact? You’ve been fighting me at full-power this entire time!” discord said. “Commendable if not foolish, hmm. I will admit you’ve given me more trouble than a bag of bees though. I’m usually able to do a whole lot more magic wise, but most o its bein pumped into wards and strength. You rapscallion you.” He teased. drazen shook away the blur from his eyesight. “Aint I just a stinker?” he replied, still somewhat dazed. Discord threw is head back and laughed a condescending laugh that was starting to grate on Drazen’s nerves. Then, Much to the mismatched draconequus’ surprise, Drazen jumped to his feet and snatched the scythe out from under him. The brief respite from fighting had allowed Drazen’s head to clear, and he grabbed the weapon and brought it up. Unfortunately Discord’s speed came into play again, and the blade was parried out of Drazen’s grasp. It sailed behind Discord and embedded itself in mid air with the sound of fabric being torn. Drazen’s momentary surprise shifted into a shit-eating grin of his own and he rush forwards, dodging a slash from discord and spear-tackling him into the back of the weapon. The momentum carried them hard enough into the scythe that it cut a portal open and the two fell through. When they reappeared, it wasn’t too high off the ground, but still enough for them to grapple and punch as they fell. They hit the ground to find that it was a sandy tropical beach. The luscious palm trees were jostled by their landing and a sizable cloud of dust was thrown up. As it settled, the forms of two draconequus could be seen floundering about, having both landed face first, and buried up to their hips. Drazen emerged in time to see – and hear – discord clamber out of the hole with a ‘popping’ sound. He had a beard made of sand stuck to his face, and if it where possible, even bushier eyebrows. “Hey look! I’m sandyclause!” he quipped. Drazen groaned, rolling his eyes, and dropped into a fighting stance. Discord did the same after a few strokes of his new facial hair. The beard and eyebrows stayed in place, no doubt held there by Discord’s magic. Just as they were about to come to blows again, a bipedal creature ran between the two. It wore tatty, loose fitting clothing, a sash around its hips and a hat that - in Drazen’s opinion - looked pretty badass. Its face was painted to make it look like he had 4 pairs of eyes constantly open. The hairless ape-thing came to a sudden halt between the two draconequus and quirked an eyebrow. “Aye?” it said, before leaning in and sniffing Discord. Apparently what ever it smelt wasn’t relevant because it shrugged and pranced off flailing its arms like it was in distress. It only occurred to Drazen and Discord that It might have been running from something when the ground shook. Looking down the beach, they saw a whole mob of those ape-things running full tilt, screaming and shouting wildly. Unlike the first ape-thing, these wore little to no clothing and held spears in hand. Needless to say, the dueling draconequus duo took off down the beach much in the same flailing manner as the ape-thing had. A turkey war-cry sounded behind them, and the next thing Drazen knew, the sky darkened with a volley of spears. They ducked, dodged, danced, darted, rolled and slithered to avoid the razor sharp projectiles. One even embedded itself in the sand not two meters from where Drazen was headed, forcing him to the left and straight into another spear. Discord was having more or less the same problem but looked a lot more amused about the situation. So, At the risk of getting gelded, Drazen haphazardly opened a portal and jumped through; Discord diving in as well, just as three spears sunk into the sand behind him. Upon emerging from the portal, they had all of a second to grab onto the flying contraption passing just underneath the portal. The large hull of the aircraft was made of smooth green plates, and was shaped much like a whale but more streamlined and aerodynamic. They heard noise from the canopy, barely audible over the rush of the wind. “-Dear humanity, we regret bein’ alien bastards. We regret comin’ to earth! And we most definitely regret that the Corps. just blew up out raggity-assed fleet!” a chorus of “hoo-rah!” followed suite. Remembering he wasn’t alone, Drazen quickly jumped to his feet and drew his weapon up to his chest. Apparently discord had had similar thoughts, because to too jumped to his feet. Something else was said from the cockpit, but was ignored in favor of trying to beat the stuffing out of each other. Most of the attacks swung wildly because of the wind, and every other hit would result in either a resounding ‘boom’ or whip-crack sound when they made contact with each other’s weapons. A pinging sound brought both their attention to the green balls of fire raining down on the ship from the scorpion-like construct ahead. It was clearly mechanical and extremely advanced at that. The stubby scorpion tail continued to blast the other aircraft out of the sky, while the big mouth-thing at the front began glowing sinisterly. There was a sound of a vacuum being turned on, and then a shrill ‘whirr’ noise as the gun opened fire. A solid beam of green energy; much like the balls of fire, shot from the front, directly at the aircraft discord and Drazen where fighting on. In a twist of luck, the beam smashed into discord, sending him flying. Drazen laughed at his misfortune, portaling to where he saw his adversary land miles away in the city. He exited the portal to see a very charred and blackened draconequus clamber from under some rubble. “Ugh, I’m getting too old for the multiverse.” Discord groaned. Drazen sniggered, drawing discord’s attention. “Something funny?” he snapped. With another barely suppressed laugh, Drazen merely pointed to the large Styrofoam cow that was straddling Discord in a compromising position. It looked like part of an advertisement or something; complete with winning smile and a cartoony slicked back hairdo and a wink-y face. The caption read ‘do mooore with milk!’ in bubble letters on the bell around its neck. Discord chortled. “In soviet-“ Whatever Discord was about to say was cut off as a shadow fell over the ruined building. Looking up, the first thing they noticed was the green glowing maw of the scorpion construct from before. “Gasp!” he didn’t gasp. He actually said gasp. The whirring sound was deafening at this distance, but Drazen managed to hear something remarkably similar to stupid over the noise. “Hi-ho Milkie! Away!” Drazen was struck dumb… then struck physically, as Discord and the now very much alive cow rushed into him, nearly impaling him on its horns. Drazen held on for dear life, clinging to the beast’s neck as it avoided the green beam that promised many ouchies. The cow, or ‘Milkie’ as Discord had named it, was surprisingly agile. He weaved this way and that, always managing to outmaneuver the beam trailing just behind. It must have looked quite the scene: two mythological creatures riding a cow grinning from ear to ear down an abandoned street while a death machine chased them, firing beams of not-so-nice things while explosions rocked the ground and surrounding buildings. So a slow day, huh? Milkie put on a burst of speed just as balls of fire began pelting the street around them, melting anything they touched and emmiting sizzling sounds that went unheard over the constant whirring of the main gun. It was pretty awesome. Drazen by this point was desensitized to pretty much everything and just opened a portal. The trifling trio tumbled out of the portal face first into scorched desert sand. Their mixed groans the only sound; they extricated themselves, Drazen giving his enemy a thump for good measure. Looking around, Drazen noted the sand. And more sand... Still more sand... He kept slowly pivoting until he saw a billboard down the cracked road they were on; that read ‘build mass with sass!’ in faded script. Drazen heaved a long-suffering sigh. He knew this realm; he’d fought and killed the corrupt guardian stationed here a few years back. She masqueraded as a sickeningly cheerful trader woman in a hole in the ground. Killing her was a kindness. Meanwhile, discord was waving Milkie off into the distance as he wandered away. “Good kid. Smells like mothballs though.” Said discord. Drazen chuckled and spared a brief wave to the bovine companion. “Yeah but he runs like a bat outta hell, though.” Discord hmmed in agreement and the two fell into silence for a moment. Discord checked his non-existent watch and Drazen shuffled about, chewing his gums. “Shall we fight for our lives?” he asked. “Oh yes, lets.” Agreed discord. The two rounded on each other again, their motions blurring together and each swing leaving a contrail with its speed. They grappled, scratched and fought tooth and nail this time, more or less rolling through the portals. “-I…Am your father-“ “-STELLLA!” “-Ah’l be back.” “-I did not have-“ “-i dont think we're-” “-Exit stage left!” “-Here to chew gum-“ “-life is like a-“ “carpe deim!” “-HEY you GUYS!” “-You stupid idiot!” “-MY CABBAGES!” “-Say hello to my lil friend!-“ “-I’m batman!” “-They fight, they fight! They-“ “-Oh…it’s you.” “You’ll never take me alive!” “-War…war never changes-“ “-You cant handle the truth!” “-I’m duh jugganaught bi-“ “-hey. listen.” Drazen flopped onto nothingness with an “oof”. The little misadventure through the multiverse had left him sore and gasping for air. Their fight had drained him of whatever energy he had left, and Drazen’s muscles ached despite the numbing effects of his wards. He’d like to think Discord wasn’t faring any better, but the perpetually perky prankster seemed to be a limitless source of energy. Even now; after more or less rumbling through a slew of dimensions, Discord was merely taking large lungfuls of air, laying down on the white void much like Drazen. The universe they were in, as far Drazen could tell, was empty. Nothing but white everywhere. A heavenly sheen that looked glassy blended the space to look like it had direction but that was about it. Knowing my luck, its probably home to some beastie with tentacles that wants to- “Please no!” he shouted. Thankfully none of that came about…this time. Instead, as it turns out, this universe was home to another of those ape-things, but this one shouted compliments from afar. “I like your shirt.” He called to Discord who was now sporting a flowered shirt. “Well, thank you.” Replied Discord, blushing for the sake of it. Another voice that neither had heard before answered at the exact same time as Discord. “Gah! What the deuce?! What the heck are those things?” it asked. Much to their surprise, Drazen and discord found it to be a baby who said that. He was accompanied by a white dog with a red collar around its neck and walked on its back legs. “What the hell?” was the unanimous reply. “I don’t know Stewie, this is the multiverse after all. As you stated earlier, there are infinite amounts of universes co-existing with ours. We’re bound to run into something weird eventually.” explained…the…dog… Stewie nodded, accepting it. “You. Freak-show,” he said to discord. “What are you?” His question was met with only silence. “…” After a pause, it was Drazen that asked the question on both their minds. “Seriously, Did that dog just talk?!” More silence. Discord eventually broke the silence with a scoff, not letting the freak-show remark slip either. “Your mother.” was his reply. Drazen face-clawed (which, as it sounds, is quite painful) Stewie’s eyes narrowed with a scoff of his own. “How fortuitous. For you see-“ he inched a hand behind him. “- I’m trying to kill my mother!” quickly drawing a ray-gun from…somewhere, he fired it at the confused draconequus. “The babies packing!” whaled discord, diving out of the way nimbly. Drazen laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. “Geez, Selker. Some mother you are, huh.” He chortled. “I bet they-GAH” Looking down, he became painfully aware of the dog biting his leg. Painfully aware indeed. “get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off!” he shrieked in a purely 100% manly manner. Nope, no femininity here. nothing happening. Yeah testosterone! Woo! In his haste to remove the furry addition to his leg, Drazen fell backwards, tripping over Discord who had leaned down to hide, and snagging him in the crook of his scythe. The end result was them both falling through the portal, minus dog and baby. Drazen’s head smacked against cobblestone this time, not hard enough to worry, but enough to send his head reeling. A quick check found them to be back where they started; at the staging area on main street. A fresh wave of panicked screams sounded the return - and prompt exit - of the local populace, who had no doubt calmed somewhat in the 5 or so minutes the brawling hoodlums had disappeared. Drazen groaned, wiping his brow of the sweat before it could get in his eyes. The fight had left him looking like he’d lost a fight with a bath full of kittens, and the sweat was stinging his wounds that hadn’t been sealed by orange hard-light. Opening his eyes, a knot formed in Drazen’s throat. Discord stood not a few meters away, holding a gumball machine is his mismatched paw/talon. It made a ‘click-click’ sound when discord’s paw swept across the coin slot and Drazen darted behind cover just as a spread of jawbreakers threatened to break his jaw. They ripped into the overturned wagon with reckless abandon, somehow not actually hitting Drazen as he leaned against the cart. It was frightening, but not as frightening as what happened next. Drazen felt a paw rest on his head and a wave of panic overcame him. This was not good - a corrupt had whacky mind control powers in their arsenal, and all it took was touch to counteract the wards. For a second drazen pondered what kind of zombie he’d be. Probably something bland and boring; a stark contrast to his brazen and spontaneous attitude, he thought. His fears where unfounded as it turns out, because discord merely changed his pony-like head into a horse-like head; and even that was stretching it… It looked like discord had just taken a horse head and colored it an unnatural shade of blue, sans the mane; which was plait, and stuck it on his neck. It looked like he’d tried to make it cute and cuddly but it turned out as a gross abomination half way through and just left it. Drazen can honestly say that no one could make a face crazier than this. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> meanwhile, on a train. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< “-And so I said. Purple rhinoceros fart!” Pinkie chirped, ever perky as she was. “And then,” she continued. “He was all like woah, and then I was all like woah, and then he was all like- *gasp!* “hmm?” hummed Rarity, only half paying attention. “What’s that darling?” “My record…it’s broken.” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Elsewhere! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< “Thundercats! Hoooo! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> elsewhere elsewhere… <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Drazen stared at his reflection in disgust. Discord had been kind (or unkind) enough to give him a mirror and Drazen was finding it hard to keep down his lunch. “Oh, my finest work.” Discord beamed. “Just right for you, don’t you agree” he said, leaning on the gumball machine. Anger began to bubble to Drazen’s normally happy-go-lucky demeanor. He was pissed. “Oh that is it! Imma’ make a motherbucker suffah.” He declared. Discord merely rolled his eyes. “Well, “ he began amusedly. “Unless you’d be cliché enough to say you’ve been holding back the entire time, I think the only way this is going to end is with you pushing up liquorish daisies, compadre.” Despite the burst of bravado, Drazen could find truth to his words. Discord had many more years of experience than him and luck seemed to smile upon him with everything he did. He’d thoroughly kicked his can up and down Canterlot like he’d promised, and showed no signs of slowing down. Drazen knew he had to step up his game but not much was left in the tank to do so. But like in those tales of ole, inspiration struck, affording the hero with the means to defeat the baddie in the end. Drazen would have to start: Thinking with portals. Drazen psyched himself up and set his (admittedly less then steely) determination into a resolute look. He snapped his claws and Immediately a number of portals appeared around discord, boxing him in. Drazen took a running start and dove into the closest portal. He was a portaleer – a draconequus capable of multiple portals at the cost of more magic. It was a desperation ploy, Drazen knew, but he was desperate after all. His momentum carried him faster and faster, while discords escape attempts merely brought him back into the house of portals in a loop. When he was traveling sufficiently fast, Drazen gave it conscience thought and the portal paired up with another, launching him past Discord and throwing his scythe to the side. It was rewarded with a pained yelp from Discord and a severed horn hitting the ground. That little accomplishment was enough to spurn Drazen into further action and he continued flying from portal to portal, alternating through the interconnected passages. Discord sneered and flew through one of the portals, brandishing his chicken sword defensively. When he reappeared it was back in the middle of the portals. His tricky foe was controlling the entries and exits with his mind - a feat considering he was also managing the portals he was using to build speed. A relay tactic if he remembered correctly. Discord watched intently at the blur passing by. Every so often his enemy would strike, not managing more than a number of deep scratches across his chest and arms. His paw shot out to catch him once or twice, but he was to quick and managed to evade. Time seemed to slow at some point, casting them both into silent adrenalin fueled stillness. Drazen’s charge frozen, his scythe drawn back ready to strike. Discord, a grin that had no place on any sane being, frozen in time. Things resumed, and everything happened in the blink of an eye. Drazen struck, fast as quick silver, the blade piercing through Discord’s lower body at about the navel. A gurgling sound also signaled that discord had successfully been able to wrap his claws around Drazen’s neck like planned, delivering a devastating clothesline to the younger draconequus, as well. An explosion of air swept across the ground as the counteractive force fought each other for dominance. But. In the end, one of those forces won out. That being Drazen’s forward momentum. It ripped discord backwards, catapulting him over Drazen’s shoulder and into the portal on the floor, dragging Drazen; who was still suffocating in discord steely grip, with it. Upon emerging, Drazen had the fortune to land on the grass, adding yet another crater to the landscape. Discord wasn’t so lucky for a change. He slammed into the stone dais where his statue used to stand, shattering the slab in two. They where back in the garden now, although it looked more the part of a warzone. Or a block of cheese, Drazen noted, almost delusional from the immense pain. He managed a cough, but that only inflamed his sore throat. It wasn’t liable to close shut he didn’t think, but Drazen knew talking was out of the question - at least until he could redirect his magic from wards to healing, anyways. That is assuming he lives to talk about it later. A garbled sputter brought his attention to discord. He wasn’t faring well at all. A globule of maple syrup dribbled from his mouth as he rolled onto his back, facing the sky. For the first time throughout the fight, discord actually showed signs of fatigue. The stab wound above his pelvis looked like it was causing a great deal of discomfort, and his breathing indicated a collapsed lung. Drazen fought hard to stand, using his scythe to steady himself and leaned against it unsteadily. He was running on fumes now and he knew it. He had to finish this. Discord ears perked at the shuffling sound. “Still alive huh? I was sure your neck snapped back there.” A pained chuckle left his lips. “You hero types I tell ya.” Drazen stumbled his way over, slowly as to not irritate his injuries. “See, that’s the difference between me and you, kid. I realize my place in the universe and dare to change it. You fight for the weak, and that makes you weak. You’re a sheep. Blindly following the council without a word.” He spat the word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “They don’t care about you. You’re nothing. Expendable to them: a candle in the wind.” Discord said. “And guess what? They’ve left the window open. If they think they’re in the right, they they’re crazier then I am.” Another glob of maple syrup left his mouth. “Mark my words, pup. Someday you’ll be just like I am. And you’ll love. Every. Single. Moment of it.” Drazen came to a stop aside the ruined pedestal. “Nothing happening, discord,” he managed to choke out. “I’ll fight the good fight for as long as I draw breath; Mark my words. And the council aren’t wrong. They protect us from bat-shit crazies like you, and I’m proud to be one of their enforcers.” Discord rolled his eyes. “heroes. Cant beat em, cant live without em.” He said. “You know,” added discord, almost absently after a moment. “I’m glad it wasn’t one of those boring up-tops that showed up; else I would have just thrown the moon at him and been done with it. If anything I’m glad it was you… But for the life of me I don’t know why.” He pondered. “Maybe it’s my sense of humor?” Drazen asked. “Bit out of place at a funeral aint it?” “Yeah,” agreed Drazen. “But I could always be like one of those stiffs you see on cliché funeral flics. This just seems fitting is all, no?” “No…no, your right. This is…this is how it should end. Chaos to the very end, and all that.” Drazen nodded. “Any last words?” Discord seemed to think about that for a moment. “Watch were your loyalties lie, kid. Nothing worse than being stabbed in the back.” With that said, he closed his eyes for the last time. Drazen paused a second, remembering those words; he’d afford him atleast that courtesy. Without hesitation he drew up his weapon. Drazen had no qualms with discord. But he had neglected his duty as guardian and was now going to be held responsible. Drazen had seen some of the things on the briefing. Terrible things. Unforgivable things. Murder, genocide and abuse to name just a few. Drazen was only thankful no-one was hurt this time, at least. Discord was once a protector – a guardian; and he’d just thrown it away carelessly. Now he’d answer for what he’d done. The blade fell downwards.