The Cop and the Princess
My name is Detective Alexander Graves, and this is my story. I live in a world quite different from yours, for starters humans share this world with creatures called Ponies. These Ponies are not like the kind you’re used to. Our Ponies walk on two legs, use magic or flight, and live in their own continent-country called Equestria located about a few hundred miles off of the eastern seaboard. In the beginning they stayed in Equestria where some say they belong, but after some time the opened up there doors and we mixed.
They taught us many things, the lost art of magic, weather control, and so much more. The Ponies eventually spread beyond there borders, that is when problems started. It was culture shock on both sides, and humans aren’t exactly hospitable when it comes new ideas. Since most adult ponies stand just a bit taller than a common human child we have a tendency to think we can out muscle them in a conflict, their use of magic tends to even the odds out. This is where I come in. I work for the Equestrian Crimes Department within NYPD. My job is to investigate crimes where both species are involved and suspected to be the source of conflict. In my line of work I have met a wide range of people and equines and if there is one thing it has taught me is this; both sides seem to hate the other equally. Like it or not that seems to be the case. This city’s always been a mix of cultures and violence with humans alone, adding Ponies only made the problem worse. Fortunately this city has me, and I’m damn good at my job. Although at times it bore me, but this adventure changed all of that.
This day started out like any other, I woke up, shifts started, I took my lunch break, then done. But, once my shift ended things started to get interesting. As I was walking my phone started to ring, I could tell by the ring it was my unit’s captain Gold Shield.
Before I could answer it I felt the all too familiar sensation of a shovel hitting me in the back of the head. The force alone would cause me to kneel over but the added pain forced me into darkness. The last thing I remember is hitting the pavement then the feeling of being lifted. I awoke what felt like felt like only a few minutes in the back of a limo. My hands and feet were bound and I was on my chest, I then started to examine my surroundings.
The floor was a pink shag rug that matched the interior lighting, God I hate Equestrian decor. I looked up to see eye to eye with my captors. Just as I inferred I was being held by Ponies, a pink mare who appeared to look sorry for me and a white stallion pressing a gun to the back of my head.
The mare knelt down to me and said “My apologies for the violence, we were told to expect some resistance. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Princess Cadence. Again, sorry for my husband Shinning Armor”.
Although her eyes seemed sincere, the fact that the brute behind me stole the gun out of its holster and was now taking me hostage with it ticked me off just a bit. “Sorry for not recognizing you” I said “Now I know when I get out of these binds to send the body” Although I started laughing at my own joke the sound of my revolver’s hammer being pulled back silenced me.
“We both know how difficult it is to get human blood out of shag, so how about we all act like adults and talk”.
Shining merely growled “Lay a hand on my wife and it will be the last move you make”
“Alright fine” I said.
As the Royal Guard undid my binds Princess Cadence started to help me up, I refused the help and lifted myself onto a seat. Looking into Shining Armor’s eyes I could tell he meant business, although his height and gaudy plate armor caused me to lose all respect for him. “My gun” I asked. Rolling his eyes he returned it to me.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here Mr.Graves” said Shinning, his mood quickly relaxed although I still to this date waiting for an apology. “Our leader Princess Celestia plans to send a student of hers over to the United States for research on human culture to better international relations. Since Manhattan is known as a cultural hotpot for all humans we figured here was a good place to start”
“That still dosn’t explain why you hit me and threw me into your limo” I retorted. I will admit I was mad for what happened, but the explanation I was given replaced most of it with interest.
Cadence spoke up although she sounded nervous, “We were hoping you could help us. We would need a guard and guide for the researcher, and you fit the bill. Cola?”. She grabbed a bottle from the mini-bar, sadly it didn’t have anything potent. I took the beverage from her as she continued.
“Your department is the only one we can trust and you’re single so you can devote your all of your free-time to the researcher and you have some skill with magic. Not to mention the fact you’re also pretty handy with that gun from what I was told”. I normally say no to flattery but something about this job seemed worth my time.
“Who will I be working with?” I asked putting down my drink.
“My sister Princess Twilight Sparkle” Shinning responded.
I took another sip than pressed for more information, “So you want me to waste my free-time, and my food budget babysitting some mare? I’m going to need an incentive”
The pink mare sitting across from me narrowed her eyes, “Canterlot is willing to offer you substantial compensation for your time, along with refunding all expenses. As further incentive we will be upgrading your living conditions free of charge”
“How much will I be payed directly?” I really didn’t need to ask, It looked like this job could provide me with something to occupy my time with
She could tell by now that I was interested “Triple your annual salary. Along with a 5 year lease on an apartment on 69th street. How is that for payment”
“Well... we’ll see what my boss thinks”
“You’re captain is already aware of our offer. She was more than cooperative” as the princess filled me in on the details I felt the limo come to an abrupt stop. “It appears we have reached your new home. I will send Twilight to you by this evening. I assume after meeting her you will take our offer, tomorrow I’ll call to check in”
I smile and nodded “Thank you, I’m looking forward to meeting her”
Walking into the flashy hotel I was greeted by the doorman, a young stallion green mane and yellow coat. I asked him about my room and was given a set of keys. The number Q12 was crudely written in sharpy that came off in my hands. After a long elevator ride, longer than my old place in queens I stepped out of halls and into my room, to my surprise most of my stuff was there. Never doubt portal magic.
One of the newer amenities was the flat screen and cable. Looking around the rest of the apartment I found an island kitchen, a bedroom, and a fully stocked fridge. Everything I would ever need. Grabbing a bud I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. As usual nothing good, even with 250 more channels. After channel surfing for a few ours I decided a nap was the only way to kill time before my charge would get here.
Sleep was only a brief interval as I heard a knocking at the door. I rolled off the couch and fell onto the floor, steadying myself I walked to the door and opened it. Standing before me was a lavender alicorn mare and the door mare lugging her bags. “Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Whats your name?” she said in a sweet voice holding our her right hand. Shaking it I led her inside.
“Graves” I responded closing the door behind my new guest. Less than five minutes in she begins analyzing everything, poking things with her pen and writing things down in her equally lavender journal.
“So this is a normal human apartment?” she questioned
I meekly responded “Yes?”
“Fascinating” the mare said jotting things down in her book. “So where will I sleep?”
Upon hearing this I noticed this apparent had only one bedroom. Before making a statement I saw her unpacking in what was going to be my room. I was already too tired to bother arguing so I re-passed out on my couch and mentally prepared for work tomorrow.
God help me.
-Graves