//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Holding It In Never Lets It Out // by democritus //------------------------------// The late morning sun cast its light into living room. Today was a lazy Saturday morning for the Apple family, by their standards. Big Macintosh was late and had just barely managed to beat the sun up. Apple Bloom took the day off from school to sleep in. Granny Smith still had yet to report. Applejack usually got to the market right as it opened, but that time was already an hour past. She'd make up for it by trotting in double time. "Any of y'all need anything?" yelled Applejack. From upstairs a shriek pierced Applejack's ears. She swore it sounded something like "more sleep!" Apple Bloom, finally out of bed, poked her little smiling head around the corner. "I could use a periscope!" She said. "Now what in tarnation? I don't think they even sell those in Ponyville." Applejack blinked, thinking intensely. "Wait, what do you need a periscope for?" Apple Bloom kicked the floor sheepishly. "Me and the Crusaders were gonna earn our submarining cutie marks, and to do that we need a periscope. We tried to make our own, but all we saw were our own faces." "Couldn't you just make the submarine without a periscope?" Applejack asked. "No way!" Apple Bloom said in a huff. "A submarine without a periscope is like an apple without its skin: it's all vulnerable to attack!" Applejack smiled. "Oh my goodness, little Apple Bloom is growing up so fast. Big Mac! She finally made an apple analogy! She's a true member of the Apple family now!" Tears started welling in her eyes. "Say what-" before Apple Bloom could continue, Big Macintosh zoomed into the room like a fraternal cheetah and swept Apple Bloom into a massive hug. He was also crying in sheer bliss. She tried to protest before getting another massive squeeze. "I see you're a bit tied up there, Apple Bloom. I'll leave you two alone in your, ahem, moment." Applejack slipped out of the door. By the time Apple Bloom escaped her brother, she realized what had happened. It was too late. It was all a ploy, and Applejack had successfully escaped to the market. There was no way she could catch up, especially since Applejack was trotting in double time. "I'll take two roses and a pimpernel, please," Applejack said. She was going to try a new recipe, a "flowertasmagoria" as the cookbook called it. "Here's the pimpernel, but I'm afraid we're fresh out of roses," said the florist. "Maybe try again next week?" Applejack smacked her hoof into her face. "Out? Of roses? For goodness sake, Rose, how do you of all ponies run out of roses?" "I don't know, maybe this weekend is going to be extra-romantic, for reasons privy to neither of us?" said Rose, circling a hoof in the air. She put the hoof to her chin. "One customer did buy out most of the stock, though..." "What? Just one? Now who bought all of them?" Applejack demanded. Rose winked. "Can't answer that! Trade secrets and all! If I told any old pony who bought roses then we'd have no secret admirers, and they're my best customers!" Applejack pouted. "I was just going to ask to borrow two, I don't think anypony would mind a bouquet that was short a pair of roses, 'cept maybe Rarity. "...Does she have a lot of secret admirers?" she asked. "Honey," Rose said, "if she had a bit for every rose somepony left on her doorstep, she'd be one wealthy pony. Haha, oh wait, I do! I am! Why am I even working today?! I've got more money than I can reasonably spend already!" Rose pulled out a closed sign and put it on the counter. With a cry of joy she galloped home. Applejack stared at the spot Rose was. Her pimpernel was laying there, but she hadn't payed for it before Rose abdicated her stall. She decided that, since she didn't get to pay for it, it wasn't her's. Applejack wondered if Ponyville really has that many hopeless romantics. Ponies who'd throw their disposable income to give gifts to ponies they love, but refuse to take credit? What would that get you in the long run besides an empty wallet? She didn't get it and thought it was nonsense. She'd just walk up to that pony, tell the truth, and get to the part she wanted without spending a few hundred bits on flowers. Quicker, easier, cheaper. Unfortunately, Carrot Top's wagon was made with such concepts in mind. She had complained and complained about how wibbly and wobbly it was. As she walked up the hill out of the market square, several bolts started to jostle, causing the tongue to become loose. Every day she said she'd get it fixed tomorrow and probably tell the salespony what-for. But then, it was too late. The bolts fell off, separating the tongue from the rest of the wagon, which then started rolling downhill. Carrot Top tried to chase after her wagon, but with the weight of the tongue and the wagon gaining speed, she couldn't keep up. It rolled into the market street, causing panicked ponies to plunge out of the way. Except for Applejack, still standing there, too lost in thought. Applejack, hearing the panic, looked around. A dragon? Creepy invaders? Who knows what else? Oh, a loose wagon. Coming right for her. Applejack shut her eyes and tried to jump out of the way, but she didn't feel herself spring. She felt her self being lifted up, and a cold air brush against her face. Suddenly she couldn't hear the panic anymore, only a slight... swooshing sound? She opened her eyes and saw Ponyville far below her. Clearly, only one thing could have happened. "Great, of all the things to get me, it's that. I can see the poets writing about it now. 'And thus did noble Applejack verily get smooshed by a wagon.'" "Maybe, if they take a break from writing about me!" "Gwa-huh?" It never occurred to Applejack she had yet to look up. She did, and viewed the angel guiding her to the great beyond. "...Rainbow? What are you doing here? Oh, don't tell me, I'm going downstairs aren't I?" "Hey!" Rainbow Dash said angrily. "Is that any way to talk to the pony who saved your life?" "You mean that wagon didn't smoosh me? Then what the hay am I doing in the air?" Applejack asked. "Ugh!" Rainbow grunted. "You can't really tell? I flew by and grabbed you in the nick of time!" Applejack was satisfied by the explanation. Then she looked back down. All the way down. "Land's Sakes! Could you put me down already? Facing the end once a day is enough for me!" she said, clinging to Rainbow a little tighter. "Eh..." Rainbow said. "I guess so. My hooves are getting a bit tired anyway." She descended and placed Applejack on a hill just outside of Ponyville. Applejack, finally feeling her hooves firmly on the ground, gave a great sigh of relief. "Thank ya kindly, Rainbow! I was certain there for a bit that wagon had-" "-Smooshed you? Hehe!" Rainbow finished for her. "It's no big deal." She scratched the back of her head. And kept going. "Sugarcube," Applejack asked, "are you feeling okay? Shouldn't you be zipping off somewhere?" "Oh, uh, heh heh I- um, er..." Rainbow stuttered. "I guess I was waiting for you to say- something?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well... thanks again. I have to go get back to market, because as exciting as near-death experiences are, they don't patch up holes in fences, know what I mean? See ya!" Applejack said with a smile as she trotted off back to town. "Yeah, well, see ya..." Rainbow said wistfully. She kicked the dirt and muttered to herself, "If that didn't do it, what would?" The blue pegasus flew off.