I sat alone for a minute as the immigration officer took a step outside his office, levitating a pack of cigarettes as he went. Immediately, I began biting at my fingernails, a nervous habit I could never seem to get rid of despite a usual lack of claws.
Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh, should I tell the truth? Equestria is about good will, is wanting to make money good will? I... I don't know. Does that make me a not-so-good person?
I squinted in thought, trying my best to remember what the Gringot Bible of Acquisition stated about greed relating to morality...
I honest-to-god couldn't remember anything.
Alright... think. Think. Make up your own mind - you want to start an honest business, right? And the outcome of that business... will lead to a better Equestria! And... me with my pockets full - but a better Equestria if my inventions are worth anything! Despite the fact that I only want to line my pockets, if the outcome of said desire helps and doesn't harm...
"That's that! I'll tell the truth!" I proclaimed, throwing a fist up in the air. "Honestly is the best policy! The truth will set me free! Insert cliche here!"
It was just then I realized the door was open behind me... and that everyone in the waiting room was looking in at me, including my chuckling changeling friend. I grinned sheepishly, before slowly shutting the door and slumping down in my chair.
"Oh gosh..." she simpered. "How the heck am I supposed to handle customers?"
No! Keep your mind off the long-term for now. Concentrate on what you're going to say...
I sat there for a good three minutes, a clock on the wall ticking away. It eventually caught my eye, and immediately, my mind went to work examining it, soothing my anxiety as my curious side usually did.
Hmmm... that clock must use a series of intricate gears. It can't be electric or steam, so.... wind-up? Must be. The gears are heavy enough that when one winds it up, it takes a great deal of time for it to wind down-
I snapped out of it when the door creaked open. In walked the border officer, looking much more relaxed then before, though he did smell a bit like tobacco.
"Hey," he said, smiling slightly. "Do you need more time, or are you ready to go!"
My anxiety, previously dormant, immediately returned in full force.
"Um-" I peeped, stalling for time, I suppose. "Er- ahhh.... Eeeeee...."
Stop doing that, it sounds weird!
I shut my mouth.
The border officer glanced at me funny. "I take that as a 'yes'?' he chuckled. "There's no need to be so nervous, you know. It may be the hardest part, but just take a few, deep breaths and-"
"I want to live in Equestria because I can totally help improve it's infrastructure with my awesome inventions even if I am making money and I'm not doing this for greed!" I suddenly blurted out, gasping soon after.
You. Neurotic. Idiot! I thought you weren't going to lie...
The officer nodded slowly yet again, smirking slightly. "I see what's going on, now: you're afraid you'll be judged as a 'will-stab-my-brother-for-a-gold-nugget goblin', don't you?"
I simpered slightly, blinking in disbelief that he hadn't thrown me out after that show of 'grace'.
"Equestria doesn't hold anything against people for being who they are. Even if you were just after a few bits, as long as you're honest about it and no harm comes from it, why not?" He then narrowed his eyes.
I couldn't help but frown slightly at that. The truth really would have been the best policy... Was I really just like any other goblin, honest when I could, but a greedy, good-for-nothing liar when it came down to it...
Worst off, the officer seemed to notice this. "Something else you want to say?"
I shook my head, wincing in shame.
Have I come all this way for nothing? I don't want to sell to any other nation around here... not the griffins, changelings, or wolves... they'd just use my tech for war... I'll have to go home...
However, fate smiled upon me that day. The officer was closely examining me, and though I knew that he knew that I had lied, for some reason, he seemed to let it slide.
"Well then, I just need you to verify a few of the documents you sent and you'll be good to go!" he chirped cheerfully.
My jaw nearly dropped the floor. "R-Really?!" I squeaked, my voice cracking.
"Mhmmm. I think your presence here will not only help Equestria, but perhaps..." He smiled slightly as he lay the paperwork before me. "It will help you as well."
And for the first time I can remember since I was a little goblinette, something strange happened to my eyes. I didn't know why, but water was actually filling them. Goblins had a name for this: weakness. But I didn't feel weak at the moment, I felt...
Happy?
What is wrong with me?!
"T-Thank you so much!" I beamed, grabbing a quill nearby and eagerly began signing my signature. "Oh my gosh- I- I have no words. I just want to-"
At that, I leaned over the desk, and hugged him around the neck.
Even I was shocked about this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
In goblin society, such displays of emotion were usually reserved for the family and the family only. However, for some strange reason, it just felt.... right. Yet my mind was screaming at me that it was so very wrong.
"It's uh-" he said, blushing slightly. "My pleasure. And don't worry, you're not the first person to show a little emotion."
I frowned in sorrow. "A little? Y-You're just trying to make me feel better. I-I'm acting pathetic!" I croaked.
"No," he chuckled. "That's all in your head. Trust me: I've had people literally dance around the room, and even that isn't pathetic. Pathetic is just a word. In Equestria, nopony, goblin, whatever, is 'pathetic'."
Those last words would ring in my head the rest of my life, even if it would take me years to figure out what they truly meant.
"I'm so pathetic!" my changeling friend wept. We sat in the grass outside the immigration office, a beautiful, sunny sky almost mocking my unfortunate companion. "My life is over... I can't go back to the hive. I WON'T!"
"Shhh... it'll be alright," I said, patting him on the shoulder.
"N-No, it's not going to be alright!" he said, nearly choking on his words. "How could I so much of an idiot that I'd forget the exchange rate! A nugget only worth half a bit?! How does someone forget something like that!"
Unfortunately, that poor thing didn't seem he was going to have the chance to feel good about himself, it seemed. It happened only minutes ago...
"Drone... 463?" the immigration officer called.
"That's me!" he beamed. He smiled brightly, before passing me as he made his way to the office. "Hey, how did it go, by the way?"
"I uh - got emotional," I said, figuring the traces of tears were probably lacing my eyes. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?"
"Of course not. Not everyone can be as tough as changelings," he grinned, quickly morphing into a very handsome stallion and puffing his chest out in an exaggerated way.
My eyes widened in horror. 'OH NO! YOU WERE RIGHT! Now he thinks you're weirder than ever!'
"S-So there is something wrong with it?!" I gulped.
The changeling looked at me funny, morphing back to his true form. "Hey - no, it's fine. I'll probably be crying too, who wouldn't?"
"Oh," I whispered, nearly wanting to face-palm myself.
'Get. It. Together, you shut in... at this rate, nobody is going to want to hang out with-'
"Hey - if you're not in a hurry, would you mind waiting for me?" the changeling said, nearly causing my jaw to drop.
"Um-" I blinked. "Sure?"
It wasn't very often that people asked to hang out with me. The few 'friends' I had back in the Alliance were merely study-buddies or fellow inventors. Whenever I wanted to try something that was outside of my comfort zone, they were 'always busy' or 'something came up'. And normal goblins... seemed to be annoyed by me. However, this changeling, who I had only meant just a few minutes ago, wanted to hang out? Was he attracted to me? I'm not sure... I didn't think changelings physically could be.
'Or maybe... he considers me kin.'
"Great! We can explore the borderlands together," the changeling smiled. "I have no idea where I'm going to settle down, so a look-around sounds cool to me. How about you?"
I blushed in embarrassment. "Heh - S-Same for me. I was going to find a library to research it a bi-"
"Pffft," he said, sticking his tongue out. "No offense, but why don't we try asking around?"
My pupils dilated at the prospect. "A-Ask around? Many random strangers?"
"I could do the talking if you want me to," he shrugged. "It's no big deal."
Wah? For Free?
I furrowed my brow. "How much would you want for the service?"
"Wah?" he asked, his face riddled with confusion.
"I could pay you five bits per person, assuming I can exchange my Gringot's Gold..."
He smiled slightly, lowering an eyebrow. "Uhhh... not sure if I want that..."
"I could pay you by the hour, then," I said, smiling slightly. "It'd be no big deal-"
"How about I do it for free?" he said, sticking his tongue out. "You can pay me with your company."
I gave him an incredulous look, shaking my head in disbelief. "You'd do it for... free?"
"Why not?"
I honestly didn't know what to do. Sure, goblins did give to charity occasionally but... this was different. And it was at that moment when I wished I realized that this changeling was worth a few bits, or perhaps more than any bits...
"So you have nowhere to go?" I said, trying to be as soothing as I could. Comforting people wasn't really my expertise... "No family back in changeling lands?"
"Changelings don't have families," he wept. "I mean - we are all born from the same queen... but does that count as family? Besides... I'd be a disgrace. Running off to Equestria like this?"
"You don't have to tell them where you went," I said, lowering my eyebrows.
He shook his head. "We're semi-hive minded. We honestly can't lie to each other. They'd ask me where I've been..."
I honestly couldn't believe what I had just heard. A society where nobody could lie to each other? If that were to happen in goblin lands there would be no business! No politicians! Nothing... I could wrack my brain for weeks trying to decide if any civilization could get by without one little white lie...
Something you shouldn't be doing, my mind hissed.
Speaking of dishonesty...
"Well uh-" I coughed. "This may kind of sound shady but- is there any way you could cross the Equestrian border without getting caught? In disguise?"
He quickly shook his head. "No, I've talked to a few other rogue changelings about this. They have patrols everywhere and are expecting changelings. The unicorns have these spells they use to reveal our true forms..."
At that, I was stumped, and it frustrated me like no tomorrow.
I never get stumped... there has go be a-
Suddenly, though I hated feeling it... the weight of the coins hanging from my belt seemed all the heavier.
No! Nonononono! You said you wouldn't do this earlier! You need that money to start your business! To buy a house! To buy a dog or something!
It'd only be two hundred or so- the rational side of me argued.
IT'S YOUR MONEY! YOU EARNED IT! NO ONE ELSE DESERVES THAT MUCH OF IT! Give him enough money for travel, but that's it!
Naturally, my mind decided to quote the Gringot Rules of Acquisition. It seemed that my goblin instincts were starting to take over. I brought a claw to my head, rubbing it in dismay. If I gave up the coins the changeling needed, I wouldn't be able to afford a house, nor a decent market-place.
I then looked at the crying changeling, lying on the ground and sobbing.
Changeling? More like weakling... he'd never survive in any goblin city. Hell, he probably couldn't survive at home! That's why he left! He's different!
My eyes widened. He was... different. I had to do something. I would never forgive myself if I gave up the money, but I couldn't just leave the poor thing to a miserable life... there must have been another way... something - anything.
Now, in my defense, I wasn't exactly in rational state-of-mind when I glanced at my Crab Walker, with all its little storage compartments ready to be used... nor when I glanced at the changeling, who theoretically should have been able to morph his body into anything...
Third option is best option.
With that, I took a deep breath, narrowed my eyes in determination, and knelt down next to Drone-463.
"Hey... I have a question for you..."
"..." He didn't respond right away: he just looked up at me with his poor, pitiful eyes.
"Can you possibly... change into something much smaller than you are now?" I asked.
"Well.... yeah," he said, blinking slightly. "I can shrink to about one-fourth my height if I really concentrate." His eyes then widened. "Wait... you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you? You can't just go around carrying me in your pocket! It- it isn't right. And how could I get a job without papers?"
"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "But it's better than the alternative." I then smiled slightly, gesturing towards my Crab-Walker. "Besides... I wouldn't be carrying you around in my pocket - I'd be carrying you around in my glove compartment! You'll be fine."
I could tell by the look on his face that he was actually starting to consider it. If he did, I'd have purchased my very first friend for free!
I offered him hand to help him back onto his feet. "So, what do you say?"
Two minutes later, I bounced and bounced as my Crab-Walker worked its way across the rugged terrain of Western Equestria, away from a beautiful, setting sun. I wasn't alone, however: inside one of my compartments was a six-inch tall changeling.