//------------------------------//
// Entry Thirteen 
// Story: Diary of an Aspiring Tyrant 
// by SugarPesticide 
//------------------------------//

July 3, 1000 ANM

I requested Blueblood to assist me in my analysis of duct tape today, and of course he had no choice but to agree. To sum the activities up, we found that this marvelous material adheres strongly to nearly every substance, but especially to itself. As a result it got highly tangled up in my mane and around my horn for reasons I cannot remember, and poor Blueblood found great wads of it in his tail. Highly embarrassed, we were forced to ask Sister Dearest for assistance.

"Oh, Luna," she chided me gently. "I do tell you not to put your head towards everything you come across. I wish I could help you, but duct tape acts as a magic sink. You can only manipulate it manually."

"I know that," I growled, pawing at my sad sorry horn. "It would have been nice to be informed on the matter before painfully discovering it for myself."

"You do know there are several books in the library regarding duct tape, don't you?"

I paused. "... Yes, of course."

"What do you mean, 'yes, of course'?" Blueblood demanded once she was out of earshot. "We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd thought to glance over the library titles for something other than magical theory."

"Better to let her think we got ourselves into this fiasco intentionally. 'Tis preferable to the alternative, which would be even more disgraceful and imply that we cannot be trusted to remain unwatched for more than five minutes."

"But we can't."

"Exactly."

While he tried to puzzle this problem out, I carefully picked at the edge of the duct tape on my horn, gradually beginning to peel it away slowly. Every second was agony. Only careful composure kept me from rolling about on the ground like a wailing madmare. My hoof shook, but I stood firm. Regardless of whether I would ever use my magic again, I would absolutely refuse to appear to the public in this undignified fashion. How dare this foul duct tape besmirch my body in such an unbecoming matter.

The second the final inch was peeled off, I stomped on it in righteous vindication. Sadly, it stuck to my hoof, and a further bout of stomping failed to rectify the problem. Reflexively I began to visualize the abominable material flying off of my person, but a brief surge of pain in my horn sizzled the magic away before it could begin. I sighed and scraped at the duct tape, wondering which pony had decided to make it so unbelievably sticky.

Fortunately, poor Blueblood was in a worse predicament. Every attempt at pulling it away from his tail resulted in an undignified yelp as long blond hairs, stuck to the duct tape like a slug sticks to salt, were forcibly yanked from his rump. He mumbled words under his breath that I could not hear, but their meaning I could guess at, common though it was.

I could sympathize with him, but not assist, for there was still the matter of my mane to attend to. Suffice it to say that the process was just as painful as it was with my horn, not to mention significantly longer. Hours later, when we had finally untangled ourselves from that duct tape, my poor mane seemed considerably thinner and less royal. I fear love that it may not grow back to its lush potential for at least a month. At least I have maintained a modicum of regality; Blueblood will require constant vigilance to ensure he remains modest.

I have decided that duct tape will be a suitable punishment for all those who oppose me when I am empress. By "all those", of course, I mean those who deserve it the most. There is no need to incorporate overkill in my discipline, and I am certain that less strenuous tasks such as escaping a pit of alligators would suffice for the normal breed of criminal.