Her white shiny coat sparkles in the sun. Her highly groomed mane flows in the wind. She is like an angel, not an inch of imperfection. The mare walks over to Spike eyes sparkling like the diamonds around her neck. She is face to face with Spike, he gulped loudly, for he has never seen such beauty this close to him before. Well maybe this one time he saw the most beautiful certain green plant, but this , this is different. He reaches out to her, until she spoke.
"SPPPPPPPPPPIIIIKKKKKEEEEE"
he stops reaching for her, oh god not this voice, he thought, my angel shouldn't sound like a certain hag I live with. Her mouth opens again,
"GOD DAMMIT SPIKE ITS NOON, WAKE THE HELL UP".
"Shit" said Spike as his eyes slowly opened,
"Stupid purple bitch had to ruin another one".
With a deep sigh he reaches for his jar of weed for a little wake and bake. His claws soon find nothingness and he suddenly goes into panic mode.
"Fuck, how did i run out so fast?" he wondered, then it hit him.
Rainbow Dash was over last night after work to have a little relaxation time. Of course she doesn't bring anything with her to contribute and being a freeloader that she is, smoked all of Spike's stash and went home.
"Dammit, that stupid bitch, always smoking my shit."
He had to think of a way to loosen up to deal with Twilight had her excessive need to please her boss. He looked around the room, he was pretty hungry and needed to find something quick to eat and ding he had an idea. Bong Water....he can use the water and ramen soup and maybe just maybe he might get some feeling.
He put his plan to work, he went downstairs with the bong and into the kitchen. he placed the bong on top of the stove and looked around for a pot. Once he did, he poured the water into the pot and blew out a breath of fire to ignite the stove. While he was waiting for the water to boil, Twilight Sparkle came down to see where her assistant was.
"Well look what the dead cat dragged in, its past noon you know, you should of been helping me in the library" said Twilight.
Shut the hell up you stupid cunt, thought Spike.
"Yea I know, sorry about that, I had a late night and I will help you as soon as I get my grub on."
Twilight looked over at the stove and asked, "What did I told you about leaving your devices in the kitchen, and why is the water all black looking, and what the hell is that smell?"
With a deep sigh Spike said, "I'll put it away don't worry and that is water from my bong for my lunch, I am making ramen soup and it doesn't smell that bad and for your information I am a life saver, recycling this precious precious water plus that technicolor succubus smoked all my shit last night and I something to get me by until I get my supply".
"You got to be fucken kidding me." Twilight snorted, "Are you seriously using that dirty ass water for eating? It's not gonna work Spike, it's all ash and I'm pretty sure there is spit inside ."
Spike grinned at her and replied,"It will work, you'll see."
Once the concoction was finished, Spike grabbed a wooden bowl poured the hot soup into it. It looked pretty good and the smell was not bad either. There was little black particles floating around, but he didn't mind, sure it might not be the gems he craves when he has the munchies, but his stomach was growling and he needed to calm it down fast and proving the bitch wrong will make this taste even sweeter. He grabbed a fork and sat in the living room to eat this lunch.
"Alright, here goes nothing" said Spike.
He devoured his soup in less than five minutes and proceeded to sit in the couch to see if it worked. After 15 minutes, he still felt nothing. Fuck i guess she was right, he thought, then he heard the screech from that pony he hated so much, "Spike, if your not too busy getting sooo stoned from your soup I could use your help in here".
He groaned as he got up. But the second he got up he felt a warm rush from his feet to his head. He felt light headed and his eyelids started to get heavy. The colors in the room started to make him laugh. As he walked to the library, he noticed his toes and couldn't stop staring at them.
"Man, I got some ugly ass feet" he started laughing at his comment and continued towards the library. Twilight had her back turned looking at some documents when Spike entered the room. Noticing this he stopped next to her and started to stare at her cutie mark.
"Hey Twilight, you know that uh your cutie mark should be a dog not ninja stars?" She looked at him and sighed and looked back to her document, she knew he was quite annoying and a smart ass when he is like this but it was nothing she cant handle.
"And why should it be a dog Spike, enlighten me."
"Cause your such a bitch" Spike started laughing uncontrollably causing Twilight to get angry. So she kicked him as hard as she could and he flew across the room landing on the floor hard.
Spike said weakly,"Stupid bitch" before he passed out cold.
When he woke Twilight was standing over him fuming, "Call me a bitch again, useless ass."
She walked away as Spike got up he muttered "Bitch" under his breath. The room was spinning with colors which made Spike happy again.
"Now will you help me send this letter out before I had you an ass whopping again?" Twilight said.
"Alright alright." said Spike.
"I need for you to send this letter out to Princess Celestia right away." Twilight said as she handed the letter to Spike. With one blow he sent the letter into thin air and started laughing again,
"Hey look Twilight, I am like a magician look look poof."
Twilight rolled her eyes and started to head upstairs, "Its late and I have to go to bed, goodnight Spike."
"Goodnight Twilight." Said Spike as he started to head towards the living room. He sat on the couch and started at the walls, his thoughts were running a million miles an hour but it suddenly stopped when he realized he had to go to Pinkie's tomorrow and pick up his supply.
"Fuck" is all he said as he passed out on the couch.