"So," Iron Will concluded, "triggers are certain physical or non-physical objects that cause a pony to lose their cool!"
His eyes darted to the beige-colored mare. "Bon Bon, would you like to start?"
"Well," Bon Bon began, " a thing that really bothers me is-"
"Dogs," Reflect interjected, his eyes wandering around the room, "I hate dogs, and cats too. Come to think of it, I really hate rabbits and houses. Specifically bird houses. Heck, I hate carrots too! Carrot cake? No way mister! Muffins? Rather die then eat them. I mean I guess-"
"I hate it when certain ponies interrupt me," Bon Bon said between gritted teeth, rising to her hooves.
"Same here lady," Reflect growled back, "so why don't you shut up and sit that flank back down when I'm talking?"
"WHY I-I...CAN'T BELIEVE...YOU..." Bon Bon was unable to form a coherent sentence, her face twisted in some half-scowl, half-frown, all-insane expression that caused her fellow neighbors to move a few inches back.
If Reflect had any idea-which he probably did-of what was going on, he didn't seem to care. He was already convinced that his fate was sealed. At the very least, he would die a noble hero, the last changeling of the Changeling Intelligence Agency, or the CIA.
"I need a time-out," Bon Bon croaked, her face about to explode from the pent-up rage that was boiling through her gut. Grabbing the pillow she had been sitting on, the disgruntled earth pony smothered her face and elicited a whiny.
Reflect started rolling on the floor, laughing like an idiot. "Look at that! She's been resting her stinkin' flank on that cushion for at least an hour! And now she's stuffing her face in it!"
"REFLECT!" Iron Will blocked the scene with his massive frame, eyes locked with the insect-like cretin. "THAT'S NOT NICE! APOLO-GIZE!"
"Why should I?" Reflect sneered, "She should apologize to me! I was talking-"
"No you weren't," Sparkler narrowed her eyes, "Bon Bon was talking when you inter-"
"Shush," Reflect held a hoof to his mouth, "what's wrong with you ponies? Never letting a fella finish his spiel before-"
"REFFFFFFFFFLLLLEEEECCCCTTT," Iron Will's nostrils were now venting out steam. "APOLO-GIZE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE!"
The changeling merely regarded the minotaur with an unfazed expression, unconvinced of his scare tactics. If Reflect begged for forgiveness now, he would be showing a sign of submission. And once he did that, he no longer had the upper hoof in this fight.
With a flash of green light, the changeling was once again replaced with a diamondback rattlesnake. His beady black eyes reduced to slits-which was something he totally shouldn't be able to do- the changeling flicked its forked tongue at the monster.
"Make me."
Iron Will lifted his hairy hoofed leg, as if he was going to smash the irritable reptile into mush. His eyes were red with the fiery rage of his stomach. Reflect, meanwhile, was ready to easily side-swipe the monster and bite him in the foot. However, the beast hesitated, his hoof hanging just inches above Reflect.
"Alright then."
Slowly, the hoof was brought back to its place. "Iron Will-unlike you Reflect-can control his anger!"
You've got me convinced the changeling/rattlesnake snickered as the minotaur plopped his hairy **** on the cushion once more.
"Now," Iron Will smiled, "let's proceed with our discussion again!"
His eyes darted to Reflect. "Make one sound and Iron Will WILL TEACH YOU THE MEANING OF RESPECT!"
The former intelligence general merely yawned, flicking his tongue out occasionally. "Sssssure Mr. Will."
"Ugh," the counselor muttered under his breath. He had just reduced a good two weeks worth of training on this changeling. All that therapy had come undone in twenty seconds. But Iron Will didn't just get his name as a class act. He was going to show this slithery, slimy viper (rattlesnake), the true meaning of willpower.
"Well if I can begin," Bon Bon said between gritted teeth, "I hate it whenever Lyra brings that blue-haired ruffian to my home...what's her name...the DJ..."
"I kinda like her songs," Sparkler commented, "I mean...she's got some fine tunes."
"Oh please," Bon Bon scoffed, "if that's considered music then I'd rather be deaf."
"Well," Vigilance offered, "Musical tastes do have a habit of changing over time-"
"Yeah," Raindrops added, "Bon-Bon, I think you're trying to micro-manage your room mate's life."
Before anypony could stop it, the four were now arguing about some nameless DJ and musical genre's over the generations.
"Now everypony settle down," Iron Will spoke out, raising and lowering his arms in a symbolic gesture to cool down the rage. Sure enough, the group slowly settled back, silent.
"Let's all agree that everypony here has different musical tastes. Now Sparkler, what about you?"
"Well," Sparkler mused, "I really don't like those ponies that cut in line."
The crowd all murmured in agreement. Ponies cutting in line were some of the worst, especially since there was never a good reason for it. Shoeshine was a local line cutter, and ever since the changeling peace, Morpheus had been added to that list.
"So," Iron Will smiled, "what's the best way to handle that kind of situation?"
"Take five deep breaths!" Raindrops raised her hoof.
"Politely ask them to move," Bon Bon offered.
"Shove them outta the way," Vigilance growled, "they're breaking the law-"
"Now Vigilance," Iron Will scolded, "you know as well as I do that shoving another pony-"
"Only evokes more violence," Vigilance finished in a monotone voice. "Yes yes, I know."
So far so good. Iron Will had indeed taught his class well. Checking the clock, he saw that they still had another good half hour to go before they were off and the town hall would be left open.
"Raindrops," Iron Will pointed at the jasmine-coated mare. She was still grinning, albeit it was a tad smaller then before. "Tell Iron Will a trigger that gets you pent up."
"Well," Raindrops replied thoughtfully, "I really don't like it when my boss gets lazy. Sometimes I wonder just how she got into a position like that you know?"
"I agree," Sparkler raised her hoof, "Rainbow Dash ought to be fired. I was foal-sitting this one filly and we were having a nice picnic when that pompous, self-proclaimed hero popped up."
The group was silent, their eyes riveted to the mare telling the story. Sparkler merely continued to speak, gesturing with her hooves.
"She sees me having trouble with the peanut butter, and then heroically steps in! Fails admirably too! So I loosen it up for her, and at last the cap pops off. But get this. She's still acting like she's saved me from some malicious beast! Asking me to scale her amazingness or something..."
The circle of ponies retorted with sighs and nods. Despite being the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash did have an attitude that was rivaled by few ponies. If only they could find someone else who had an arrogant attitude, laziness, love of pranks, and a hankering for cider.
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"My Queen," Morpheus bowed. "You summoned me?"
"Oh 769," Chrysalis sighed, resting her snout on a bent hoof. "If only we had someone who was arrogant, lazy, and loved to pull pranks as much as they chugged down cider, we could find a niche for you."
"Are you kidding," the commander scoffed, "I'm not lazy...usually. I mean...not all the time. Well you see-"
"Get out," the Queen thrusted her hoof to the door, "you have a class to attend to tonight regarding one of those problems. And then perhaps we can address the other five hundred another time no?"
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"Well," Iron Will concluded, "we can all agree that Rainbow Dash needs to be taught a lesson no doubt. Although Iron Will wonders if she'll have the energy for it!"
The whole circle erupted into hysterical giggling, Iron Will flexing his muscles once more. "Now now, Vigilance, I presume this will be your last day?"
"Yep," the stallion nodded, "and then you guys pick up somepony else? I forgot who it was again?"
"Who knows," Iron Will shrugged, "but we all wanted to say a little something to you before you left."
"Yep, from all of us here!" Raindrops pulled out a shiny blue card. The front had a rather satisfied green stallion merrily dancing on the street. Upon opening the card, Vigilance could see the signatures of all the members in his group, Iron Will's being the largest.
"I don't know what to say," Vigilance cradled the card in his hooves. "I'm touched."
"Oh you earned it Vigil!" Iron Will chuckled. "Besides, with Reflect here, we're going to have enough on our plates right?"
The circle once again broke into a fit of giggles. Once the laughing subsided however, did the group suddenly take notice to absence of swearing. They had not heard one outburst from the newcomer since Iron Will had threatened him into submission.
"Reflect?" Iron Will turned to his right, just in time for his ears to detect the faint snores (or hisses) of a sleeping rattlesnake.
The rattlesnake in question was peacefully resting on the cushion, its black tongue slithering in and out as its tiny body pulsated with each breath.
"REEEEEFFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEECCCCCTTTTTTT!!!" The changeling flashed back to his normal form, eyes wide as he landed a misplaced kick which was easily countered by Iron Will.
Falling on his back, Reflect lifted his head, a scowl on his face. "What was that for?"
"WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING?" Iron Will demanded, tiny flames dancing around his irises. "IRON WILL DEMANDS AN ANSWER!"
"Oh," Reflect murmured, "I guess the discussion was just too bor-"
"TOO BORING?" Iron Will exasperated, the veins literally pressing against the fur. "IRON WILL WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR!"
The minotaur took a moment to breathe, the fire slowly fading from his eyes as he searched for his state of calm. Taking in one more round of inhale and exhale, the beast sat back on his cushion.
"Reflect," Iron Will declared in a more measured tone, "will be acting in our next course of action."
"What?" Reflect exclaimed. "This is an outrage! I was just taking a little snooze in the noon QUUUUUEEEEEERRR!
The changeling was lifted off his hooves as Iron Will presented him to the class. "Now Reflect here will play the part of the aggressor, something that shouldn't be hard considering his behavior in the last half hour. Iron Will shall demonstrate the proper technique to handling an aggressor who causes one of the triggers mentioned in this seminar."
"Oh brother," Reflect muttered, "I'm now your little test dummy?"
"IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT IRON WILL HAS OTHER PLANS!" The beast roared. He had flipped the drone upside down and was now glaring at him with the same heated stare.
Reflect crossed his hooves, unfazed. "Whatever bucko, do your worst. I work for the Changeling Intelligence Agency! The CIA mind you! You'll never get me to talk."
"Actually being quiet may help for once," Iron Will noted, dropping the changeling into the center of the circle.
The group merely observed the scene, their eyes focused as Iron Will presented the scenario.
"Now Reflect here will demonstrate an annoying musician-" the minotaur grabbed Reflect by the hind hooves again "-Reflect, transform into an annoying musician."
Now Reflect didn't know how this was going to help anypony, but he figured he would at least entertain the guests with a simple transformation. In a plume of green flame, the changeling was replaced with a familiar white unicorn with a cobalt blue mane.
"Her eyes are magenta," Bon Bon pointed at Reflect's bright red eyes. With another flash of green, they were replaced with magenta pupils.
"How am I suppose to play music?" the changeling inquired in a voice eerily similar to the notorious DJ Pon3.
"Use your imagination," Iron Will proclaimed jubilantly, dropping the changeling once more with a splat.
Rising to his hooves, Reflect was muttering something about music and ponies before taking his front two hooves together and blowing really hard into both. The product was a sound so annoying that every pony had to cover their ears.
"Now miss," Iron Will poked the changeling, "I believe your music is distracting these other fine ponies from doing their work."
"Get a room then," Reflect sneered, "this is my hometown's music! You got a problem?"
"Perhaps you ought to tone it down a notch," Iron Will suggested gently, "I'm sure everypony here will agree."
Sure enough, each member of the class was nodding their head off, agonized looks of pain on their faces.
"I don't care," Reflect scoffed, "my music ought to-OOAAFF!" The changeling was flung off his hooves, once again facing the angry glare of Iron Will.
"Cooperate or face the FURY!" The minotaur was not going to play another game with this half-insect hybrid.
"FURY IS MY NAME!" Reflect vanished in another puff of green flame.
"For the love of," Iron Will dropped the drone, which was perhaps the only medicinal practice that was keeping him under control. "Iron Will shall now demonstrate cutting in line. Sparkler, Bon Bon, Raindrops, come up front."
The mares obediently lined up in a row, Iron Will motioning for Reflect to stand up. "Now Reflect, I'm going to test your self-control. You're going to get in that line, and you will maintain that position for as long as you can."
"That's it?" Reflect asked sarcastically, "piece of cake."
Trotting his way to the back of the line, the changeling was just about to settle his position when Iron Will suddenly blocked his path, bumping him over to take the spot. "Now that Iron Will has your spot, what are YOU going to do about it?"
"Why am I in this line anyhow?" Reflect questioned suspiciously, "I mean...you told me to line up here and now you're cutting me? What's going on? Who are you working for?"
"What? Iron Will only works for himself," the mintoaur answered sharply. "Reflect, this is a scenario, you need to play this out as if you would be in this situation."
"Well," Reflect stretched his hind hooves, "I would find it mighty suspicious if a pony decided to just cut in front of me. Perhaps this product has some sort of addictive qualities, one that would make ponies cut each other...which would mean..."
The changeling leapt over the crowd, tackling Vigilance to the ground. "Where are they? Speak dagnabit! I know it was you, queer! You hid the skooma! Where are they?"
"Okay," Iron Will dragged Reflect off the stunned rent-a-cop. "How about a different scenario? Ummm...Reflect...could you perhaps play Rainbow Dash for us?"
"The Element of Loyalty?" Reflect wasn't sure where the minotaur was going with this one, but he would play along. After all, he had performed admirably on that last one. Every agent knew that in the CIA, if a pony cuts you in line, and there isn't any logical reason why, there must be some hallucinogenic potion within a five mile radius.
"So," Iron Will demonstrated, "Reflect here will demonstrate the lazy boss. Raindrops, you'll be facing this situation and I want you to have just come from a long shift at work. Your boss, Rainbow here, has forgotten to meet a quota and it appears you'll be working late again."
Setting the changeling down, Iron Will backed away, crossing his fingers. Reflect, taking in one last sigh, was replaced with the familiar cyan pegasus, albeit a bored look on her face.
"GO!"
"Hi Rainbow," Raindrops motioned as she walked right up to the pegasus, a broad smile on her face. "How are you-OAAAAFF!"
"Are you a spy?" Reflect barked, his hooves pinning the pegasus by her wings. When she didn't answer, he slammed his hoof on the wood. "ANSWER THE QUESTION IDIOT! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!"
"CUT! CUT!" Iron Will face-palmed himself. "Reflect, what are YOU DOING?"
"Oh come on," Reflect cried out, "no pony ever goes to their boss with a smile. It's the first lesson in management. If an agent comes at you with a smile, it means one of two things. Either A, they've been promoted and they're getting extra rations for Hearths Warming Eve. Or B, they're going to smother you in your sleep. Since I supposedly missed a quota, Raindrops here was going to smother me with something. Maybe the pillow I use to sleep during the day. Or even a gift basket. Do you know that there are over 50 ways to disable a pony with a gift basket? That's nothing compared to the 700 ways you can knock one unconscious."
Iron Will deeply desired the chance to shove a gift basket into Reflect's posterior. The changeling was so bad at following directions that it was almost an art form. This changeling was going through all and any loopholes he could find. But Iron Will had only met one other unsatisfied customer, and he wasn't about to add to that list anytime soon.
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"Morpheus," Dr. Fill shook the changeling's hoof energetically. "Glad you could make it. Just sit right there on that boulder and we can begin yes?"
Silence.
The changeling commander appeared to be forcing his fangs deep into his canines. His compound blue eyes were regarding the beige colored psychiatrist with utmost amount of loathing. Queen Chrysalis had deemed it necessary that Morpheus go to counseling, in order to ascertain the full extent of his drinking binge.
"Well my full name is Dr. Chocolate Filling, but you can call me Fill if it helps." The stallion had crossed his hooves together.
Morpheus merely plopped his bottom on the boulder, observing the doctor with a rather dismissive stare.
"Would you...ummm..." Dr. Fill was now twiddling his hooves, glancing towards the far end of the wall to an imaginary clock. He wasn't accustomed to this schedule, and every second he spent down here in this damp cellar was another chip off his sanity.
After another minute of silence, where the two had just finished a staring contest, Dr. Fill decided to make some small talk. "Well-"
"This is the worst! This is the worst," Morpheus growled, his fangs unsheathing from their enamel scabbards. "I hate looking at your face! I WANNA SMASH IT!"
Dr. Fill was taken aback, but none the less resumed his cool demeanor. "Now Morphy-"
"Don't call me that," Morpheus sneered, "I pay you for one job! ONE JOB! Get my friend in anger management. And what do you do?"
"In my defense," Dr. Fill began before being cut off once more.
"YOU LANDED ME IN REHAB!" The commander tossed a stone up at the wall. "Now I'm stuck here with you eggheads in some utility closet waiting for the verdict of my trial! Hint hint! I'm going to be spending the next week in Ponyville!"
"This is a utility closet?" Dr. Fill inquired. "Why would-"
"Has it ever occurred,"-Morpheus crossed his hooves- "that no one in this structure actually likes you?"
"Now," Dr. Fill chuckled faintly, "that isn't-"
"I don't like you," Morpheus finished, "I really wanna take that box of tissues on the side and just lob it at you." Reaching over, the commander grabbed the tiny pink box before pitching it at the earth pony's head.
"That was rude," Dr. Fill protested, his voice rising just a bit.
"Sue me," Morpheus lashed back. "I'm the Commander of the Queen's Royal Guard! The CO-MAN-DER! You don't just get that title for being a jerk."
"In your case Morpheus," the doctor smiled, "I'd say you got the job for being an absolute jerk."
"What did you say to me?" Morpheus barked.
Dr. Fill pulled out a tiny yellow scroll from his..."rocking chair". Unfolding it with a smug smile, he began to read aloud its contents.
"The Queen has noted that you've been quite the bully since your birth. Let's see, oh wow...it says here you were notorious for picking on several changelings during your adolescence."
"How does this pertain to my drinking problem?"
"Well," Dr. Fill explained, "it appears you've been depressed for a considerable amount of time. I mean, if it isn't drinking, you're playing pranks on your peers. If it isn't playing pranks, it's insubordination. If it isn't insubordination-"
"Hey," Morpheus interjected, "I do that for fun! Not cause I'm sad!"
"So you're saying you're a heartless jerk who relishes on other's misery?"
"That's an exaggerated way of saying it," Morpheus defended, "I'd say I'm an easygoing drone who wants to be loved but also feared. In fact, I want others to fear how much I love them."
"So these pranks are a sign of affection?" Dr. Fill was scratching his head. "I don't understand this."
"I don't understand you," Morpheus stated, "you're bald...you're nosy...and you smell."
"Now Morpheus as a-"
"Let me just say this," Morpheus held his hoof out. "You are what you eat. And in all honesty, did you swallow a rotten pickle sir?"
Dr. Fill just let the scroll fall to the floor, his eyes locked with Morpheus. "That was incredibly, unbelievably rude."
"You make me sick," Morpheus sneered, "get out of my office."
"What?" Dr. Fill shook his head. "But this is my-"
"I SAID GET OUT!" Morpheus pointed towards the exit. "GROW ME ANOTHER FRILL, WERE YOU BORN YESTERDAY?"
Slowly, the psychiatrist marched his way out of his own office. After all, he already had his mind made up. This changeling needed a self-help class, and he was going to give it to him.
"Idiot," Morpheus muttered.
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"Reflect," Raindrops reprimanded, "this isn't an interrogation. We're all friends here. I wasn't trying to attack you. I was trying to reason with you about missing the quota that cost us another night's sleep. I mean..."
"Silence spy," Reflect howled, "you're acting way to nice for me to handle on my own."
"Alright," Iron Will held his arm out, "Reflect, get off my assistant. I've just about had it with you. As for everypony else, you're free to go. Change in schedule tomorrow, we meet in this building after lunch now."
The group slowly rose from their cushions, shaking hooves with Vigilance as they departed out the front door. Only Raindrops waved back at Reflect, who was gathering up some loose cushions for testing later on. After all, the work of a CIA agent never ended, even if their superior put them on suspension.
"Reflect," Iron Will barked, "you're Queen has taken the liberty to notify me that you will be needing a place to stay for the night yes?"
"I already got a place," Reflect retorted, "and before you ask, no. I'm not telling you or any other equine in this town where it is."
"Fine by me," the minotaur held his hands out. "Just don't go disturbin' Iron Will and be back in time for our next session."
Without another word, Reflect departed through the door, not even giving a second glance back at the counselor. Ponyville Square was bustling with mares and colts running here and there in pursuit of various objectives around town. But Reflect had his own agenda, and that agenda wouldn't be sated until he had Iron Will behind bars.
But alas he was quite famished from his ordeal earlier this morning, and decided that a quick bite to eat wouldn't jeopardize the mission. So after much deliberation, he settled for a local stand that sold some steaming hay fries with a jug of crisp, cool cider on the side.
After gobbling down the meal, the changeling headed down to the park, where he jumped into a bush. With a flash of green, the changeling was replaced by the same, infamous rattler from earlier. Slithering out with the stealth of a rhino and the attitude of a disgruntled beaver, the changeling found a nice, soothing rock to bask on.
Every changeling had their favorite form. Some preferred ponies, while others preferred birds, griffons, even dragons. But for Reflect, a simple rattlesnake had always sufficed him as a form. Silent when it needed to be, and loud when it didn't want visitors. The rattlesnake was, in his mind, the perfect spy. And if anypony bothered him, he could just bite them.
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"Morpheus," the Queen invited the commander to her throne for the second time this day.
"My Queen," Morpheus bowed, "I've completed the counseling and request to be reinstated to my post post-haste."
Chrysalis was pursing her lips. "Hmmmm...no."
The words struck the commander like a freight train, his eyes widening in shock. "But you just-"
"Morpheus," the Queen lectured, "you need help. That's it. Plain and simple really. You'll be reporting in tonight for your first session and we'll play it out from there yes?"
"NO!" Morpheus cried, banging his hooves on the polished stone floor like a foal. "NO! NO QUEEN PLEASE NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
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"What's this?"
Scootaloo was observing the site from a safe distance, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom at her side. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had been meandering around town, searching for opportunities to gain their coveted marks when Scootaloo had happened to come upon a real rattlesnake. Here in Ponyville!
Needless to say it was fascinating if not downright peculiar. Rattlesnakes didn't travel this far north to Ponyville, which meant this had to be a migrating rattlesnake!
"Crusaders," Applebloom finally spoke out, "do ya' know what this means?"
"Errrr..." Scootaloo pondered on the fact for a second before Sweetie Belle raised her hooves.
"We could get a cutie mark in Rattlesnake Catching!"
"Ugh," Scootaloo facehoofed herself, "who would want a cutie mark in that?"
"Ah' say it's worth a shot," Applebloom nodded. After all, what else did they have to do? Davenport wasn't going to let them in after that incident with the quills and sofas.
"Cutie Mark Crusader Rattlesnake Catchers GO!"
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"Where am I?" Reflect wandered about the large atrium. "Hello? Is anyone here? Come out you queer!"
There was a distant tap and the changeling thrusted his hoof to meet the intruder. However, it only thrashed about at thin air.
"You're scared," a gentle, feminine voice echoed. Reflect turned around, hoping to catch the source of the voice off guard. But everywhere he turned, he only saw the glass dome of the atrium, the polished marble floor stretching for miles and miles.
"What's going on here?"
"You see," the voice explained, "I understand your pain, Reflect. After all, what's a changeling without his job right?"
"I have a job," Reflect protested, "I'm the general of the CIA!"
"And who do you command?" the voice challenged.
"Errr..." Reflect paused, rubbing his frill. All of his agents had abandoned him when the peace was announced. In fact, only his office remained, the rest of his domain being converted to fungal planting pods. What was left of his empire? At least Morpheus still had subordinates to order around. What did he have? Just him, his reports, and his sanity.
"Destiny does not abandon one so easily," the voice soothed him, "you must find it, Reflect."
"No," Reflect shouted back, closing his eyes to stop the rush of water. "I-I won't be rendered a useless husk! I got a purpose! And it's to uncover the truth...no matter the cost!"
"Is that what you truly believe?" the voice asked.
Reflect crumpled down into the fetal position. For some reason, he felt as if there was no barrier between this voice and his emotions. Every syllable was a jab at his heart. Every word tearing away at his confidence.
"You're better then this, Reflect Fury. You know it and I know it too. But a purpose cannot be bestowed upon you forcefully. You must find it yourself."
The general rose to his hooves, a scowl over his face. "I've already found my purpose and I don't need anyone telling me otherwise!"
All of a sudden, there was a deep rumble, which caused the changeling to loose his hoofing. Slipping down onto the floor, he saw a gigantic...pupil studying him like a bug! The general tried to use his wings, but they only failed him, gluing him to the ground as the glass above shattered in a beautiful shower of rain...
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"WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUNGAL BEANS!" Reflect woke with a start, flaring his fangs at three blob-like shapes. Immediately, he heard several screams and his own rattle rattling away!
"IT CAN TALK!" A filly's voice cried out.
"Of course I can talk!" the changeling retorted, "blinking" his beady black eyes several times to adjust to the sunlight. As the image became less nebulous and hazy, he noticed that the three blobs were actually fillies. One was an orange pegasus with a magenta mane. The other was a yellow earth pony with a bright red mane tied with a ribbon. The last one was a pearly white unicorn with a lavender mane mixed with splotches of pink.
"Are you a migrating rattlesnake?" the unicorn asked.
Reflect was about raise his forked tongue when he thought about the question. He could just transform back to a changeling and deal with them like an adult. Or he could just play along. Considering the fact that he had been basking on this rock for the better half of an hour, it wouldn't hurt to practice some improv.
"Sure..." the changeling mused.
"Wow!" the yellow earth pony squeed. "Ah'm Applebloom! This is Sweetie Belle! And right over there is Scootaloo!" Each filly had bowed when her name was called out, something that caused Reflect's reptilian mouth to broaden into a wicked smile. He hadn't been bowed to in years!
"Now why the hay were you bothering me?" the rattlesnake hissed.
"We were curious," Scootaloo explained, "you have to understand Mr. Rattler, we don't get a lot of snakes of your caliber in these parts! Where you from?"
"The depths of Tartarus," Reflect answered flatly.
"OOooooOOOO," the trio of fillies gasped in awe. "So are you like a fugitive or something?"
"Do you understand sarcasm?" Reflect inquired, raising a "brow" as it were.
"Hey," Applebloom narrowed her eyes, "we didn't expect y'all to be rude now!"
"Oh dear me," Reflect gasped, "someone being rude? Well it wasn't like you were disturbing my nap or something right?"
The fillies merely watched him in silence, their faces unimpressed. Reflect didn't know whether it was the fact that he had nothing else to do or that he felt pity for the orange chicken with tiny wings, but he finally relented.
"Fine," Reflect sighed, "what do you want to know?"
The fillies began to brainstorm all the questions they wanted to ask the intelligent snake. After all, a snake like him must have had some pretty amazing adventures!
"Where have you been?"
"What have ya' seen?"
"Have you heard about our awesome savior Rainbow Dash?"
"To answer the last question," Reflect replied, "yes I have heard of Rainbow and no I don't intend on delving any deeper into the subject. But as for the other two..."
The rattlesnake began to chuckle in evil minion laughter, a dead giveaway to any pony who wanted to uncover a changeling spy.
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"...and that's how I solved the Elbow Grease Mystery!"
"What's an elbow?" Applebloom raised her hoof.
"Uhhh...something that chimps have I think," Reflect answered hastily.
"What's the CIA?" Sweetie Belle chirped.
"None of your beeswax!" Reflect bellowed, "What's said about the CIA, stays in the CIA! I've trusted you with classified intel now."
"I find it hard to believe a rattlesnake would be a spy," Scootaloo challenged. "I mean, how could you sneak into the Griffin Embassy undetected before stealing their plans for a super awesome airship? Or how did you bypass all those defenses from that Builders League United?"
"A spy never shares one's tactics," the changeling stated flatly. Arching his body, he noticed that the sun was about to set. If he still wanted to remain incognito, he would need to slither away to find his safehouse.
"Look at the time girls!" Applebloom exclaimed, "We gotta get home or Applejack is sure gonna have a fit!"
"But I wanna hear more from the rattlesnake!" Sweetie Belle whined.
"In due time kid," Reflect assured, "in due time! Now run along now before your parents grow a temper!"
The fillies departed with a quick thank you mixed with a hasty goodbye as they dashed down the paved pathway. Reflect simply laid there for a second, a smile still stuck on his lips.
He hadn't told that story to anypony, even if a few details were omitted here and there. But despite the momentary feeling of elation at having shared a tale, the changeling flashed back to his original form, his eyes scanning the woods to make sure nopony had been spying on him.
"Coast is clear," the changeling said to himself. "Off to that construction site to hold out for the night."
If you thought the construction site was abandoned, you'd be wrong. Reflect didn't believe in hiding in an abandoned site. After all, it was the first place to check for spies and agents. Instead, he would hide in an active construction site, where nopony would ever anticipate it.
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Iron Will was counting down the number of cushions that didn't have a pony on top of them. So far, only two ponies had shown up. The green unicorn named Lyra and the purple earth pony named Berry Punch.
"Hopefully," Iron Will mused, "our fourth guest is going to show up promptly."
Equines Anonymous, or EA, was no joke in Equestria. Next to Anger Management, it was Iron Will's best self-help class to date. And after this morning's events, he could settle in for a nice, relaxing evening.
Alas, he heard the sound of the door creaking open, and the clopping of hooves on wood as it approached its destination. A dark black insect-like equine materialized over the corner.
"Greetings!" Iron Will held his hands out. "Welcome to EA!"
Morpheus merely rolled his eyes, studying the room with a deliberating eye.
"Is there going to be any drinks?"