//------------------------------// // Re-Match: Celestia // Story: Know your Mare // by overlord-flinx //------------------------------// Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare... The powerful leader of Equestria, much like her prized apprentice, seemed uneasy as she stood on stage. Princess Celestia... ...is 90% made of cabbages... "While that would be very interesting, I'm not made of vegetables." Princess Celestia... ...thinks two out of three ain't bad... "It really isn't. I guess that's still an 'F' on a scale for grading, but getting something done right two times is still fairly good." Princess Celestia... ...likes bananas... "They're rich in potassium. They taste good and are good for you." I know... ...I like them too... "Good boy. We should have a picnic of cabbage and bananas sometime. I'll let you invite Luna." Yay...! Princess Celestia... ...molests statues... "That is perhaps the most outrageous claim I have ever heard here." The truth usually is outrageous... "But it's not true! I've never mol--THAT-- to anypony or anything. How dare you even suggest that!?" How dare I...? How DARE I?! Princess Celestia... ...hates herself so much, she keeps her greatest failures close to her at all times... "I have never--" Discord was in the garden... Your sister was in the sky... Sunset Shimmer was in the mirror... "...I..." Princess Celestia... ...CAN'T LIVE WITH HER GUILT! "It's not like that! I just... I could not just..." Celestia's words soon stammered off as she threw her wings over herself and departed off the stage. Yeah... Walk away...! Walk away from me like every other time! TO TARTARUS WITH YOU! ...Shimmer...? ... ... ...She said I was special, Blank... You are... ...To me at least... "Sie schrecklich hässlich Prostituierte, sind wir in der größten und mächtigsten Land in aller Welt, Trottania. Dies ist die Art von Leistung, die Sie und Ihr Schwarm NIE haben wird. Nun zu diesem Zunge Kampf zwischen dir und mir ..." "Once more, you butcher a once great language. My only hope is that you can't assassinate every language by the end of our quest." "Deine Lippen sagen, ich bin unerwünscht. Aber deine Augen mich ficken. Ich bin eine andere Sprache sprechen, so kann ich sagen." "Yes, whatever it is you want, later. I still need to pick some things up before we leave. Come on." "...Jetzt sigh."