//------------------------------// // Ne'er Do Well // Story: A Guardsman in Equestria // by Guardsman_Sparky //------------------------------// "I killed him." Luna stared at Alexander in horror. If she hadn't heard the words from his mouth, she would have thought he was speaking about the weather. "Y-you killed him?" Oh, Mother, what kind of monster did my sister and I put our trust in? Alexander saw the horror on Luna's face, heard it in her voice. He sighed. "It wasn't like that." Alexander looked away. "If anything, it was a mercy." He watched the memory before him progress. "You and Celestia weren't the only siblings to fight to the death. Unlike your sister, I didn't have the luxury of sending my sibling to the moon." Several shadowy figures spawned out of the very air, no definition or form to them, as if the very memory of them had been...corrupted. Shouting in surprise and terror, the squad of guardsmen opened fire on the shadows. The volume of lasers thrown at the legion of corrupted memory was staggering, but scarcely a handful vanished as they 'died.' "What are those...things? And why are they so...blotchy?" Alexander shuddered as he looked at the 'blotchy' figures. "Those are daemons, denizens of the Immaterium. The reason they're so undefined is because to look upon them is to invite insanity." Sure enough, one of the guardsmen dropped his weapon and curled up into a fetal ball, babbling as he clutched his head before taking his own life. "I suppose the cloudiness is my mind's way of protecting itself." The eyes of the gaunt hooded figure of Alexander's brother glowed with an unearthly power. Raising his staff, the brother slammed the butt down on the ground. A torrent of otherworldly flame and lightning flowed out over the legion of shadows, snuffing them out as one would blow out candles on a cake. Luna sighed in relief. "At least it's over." "Yeah, that's what we thought too. But we'd been pushing him too hard. We should have let him rest when he started hearing things, but we...didn't." Ahead, the gaunt form of Alexander's brother began to writhe and scream, clutching at his head as his eyes bled. His form began to bulge and twist as something inside began to mold his body like wet clay. The memory-Alexander held up his bolt pistol, but was batted aside like a wet leaf in a storm. The memory faded to black among screams and terrifying roars, the only thing visible hot fountains of blood as unseen bodies were rent apart. A single gunshot ended the nightmare. Alexander turned to Luna, who was almost as pale as her diurnal sister. "I lost my entire squad to that thing that took my brother from me. Not five minutes later, the evacuation order came through." Alexander turned away. "I lost my rank at the court martial a week later. That was about two years ago." He sat down, back to the princess of the night. "Please leave now. I'd like to be left alone with my thoughts." Luna bowed, tears in her eyes as she left the dreamscape. At first, the days passed uneventfully, Alexander spending his time practising his swordplay and reading books on magic from the library. His understanding of the flow of mana to achieve one's goals was progressing, but he was still having problems grasping the connection between will and imagination. Yes he could imagine doing something, and he could apply his will to doing that, but somehow it never seemed to work as smoothly as he thought it should. It was frustrating to say the least. Alexander wiped the applesauce off his face as the remains of the apple he had tried levitating finished raining down in the yard of the bunker. Sighing in frustration, he looked around at the applesauce strewn yard. "I just don't know what went wrong." He reached for the next apple in the bushel, but the basket was empty. Grumbling, Alexander started for the door inside, wiping apple pulp off his newly repaired armor. "What else can go wrong?" A piercing scream caught Alexander's attention. "I had to ask." Vaulting the fence around the yard, Alexander ran in the direction of the terrified screaming. "My baby! Somepony save my baby!" Shit. A baby carriage went barreling past Alexander down a steep hill towards a rocky cliff. Shit! Alexander started running down the incline after the buggy. C'monc'monc'mon... He was rapidly falling behind, but giving up was the farthest thing from Alexander's mind. The buggy was about to fly off the cliff. NO! A chromatic blur zipped past Alexander, catching the buggy moments before it left the ground. Coming to a halt next to the cyan pegasus that had literally flown out of the blue, Alexander doubled over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Nice...catch." Rainbow Dash smirked and waved at the cheering crowd below, before she gasped in horror. "Oh no, there's something wrong with the baby!" Everyone gasped in horror. "She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!" Alexander facepalmed at the pegasus' theatrics as she took the foal back to her mother. Shaking his head, Alexander spoke to Dash as she flew into the sky. "Hey kid, don't let it go to your head, alright?" Rubbing his face, Alexander decided to go get something to eat. Alexander sat down at his preferred table on the veranda at Starbuck's cafe. "Hey Starbuck, I'll have my usual." Starbuck, a coffee-brown stallion with a steaming mug of coffee on his flank looked up and smiled at the brooding Sentinel. "You got it. One Sentinel Special coming up." "I really wish you wouldn't call it that." Starbuck didn't respond, not having heard the grumbled reply. A steaming mug of coffee was placed before Alexander by Starbuck's daughter Cocoa Bean. "Thanks." He took a pull from the mug, giving a content sigh. Black with just a hint of honey, something he'd come to appreciate on that one agri world they'd barely managed to save from the 'nids. Bliss. Alexander opened his eye to see Twilight trotting by in a blue funk. "Twilight? Somethin' wrong?" "Wha-? Oh, Alexander, it's you. I - There - I'm worried about Rainbow Dash." "Oh?" "The girls and I, we're worried that she's letting this hero thing go to her head." "I see." "I just wish I knew what to do." Alexander considered Twilight's words. So, Rainbow Dash is letting it go to her head. Boy, I never saw that coming. Well, Alexander knew just how to get her down off of her high horse. "Twilight, I know exactly how to bring Dash back down to earth." Twilight sat down across the table from Alexander as he sipped from his mug. "During basic training in the Guard, you'd occasionally get guys who'd think they were the Emperor's gift to the universe. You know, the type that knows everything, but doesn't really?" Twilight nodded. "Well, the DIs had a way of dealing with those guys. Say, oh, really big guy, thinks he doesn't need to learn hand to hand because he's stronger than anyone there and can beat up anybody there. Well, the Drill Sergeants would invite this guy to hit them. And as soon as he'd throw a punch at the sergeant, he'd find himself on the ground with the sergeant's boot on his throat. The lesson learned is that there's always someone better than you. Sometimes, though, this guy really would be able to take on the sarge, and would find himself at the bottom of a very large dogpile of assistant DIs. Thus, you may be the best, but you can't win alone against a group working together." He took another sip of coffee. "Any of that help?" Twilight sat tapping her chin. "Hmm, so, if we beat Dash at the hero game, maybe it'll show her that she's overdoing it?" "Eh, something like that I guess." "Thanks Alexander. I've got to go talk with Rarity. Bye." "Bye." Starbuck returned with Alexander's grilled cheese sandwich as Twilight cantered off in search of the unicorn fashionista. Picking up half of the sandwich, Alexander began to eat as he wondered about what Twilight was planning. "That's right, Ponyville has a new hero..." Alexander tuned out the voices of the mayor and the crowd as he examined the downed balloon. He ran a hand, his organic one, over the ragged edge of the hole in the hot air envelope. Lifting a scrap of cloth, Alexander pulled away a blackened shred. Rubbing it between his fingers, the cloth disintegrated into ash. Standing, Alexander regarded the distant figure atop a nearby hill, then looked at the departing Twilight Sparkle. I wonder... "Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!" Alexander glanced at Rainbow Dash. "Gee, Dash, jealous much?" "Just you wait, I'll show everypony who the real hero is - WHOA!" Rainbow landed flat on her face as she tripped on a rope. Alexander shook his head and tucked the burnt scrap into a pocket. He'd have to show this to Cog. "Alright, so what do we know?" Alexander looked expectantly at Cog and Syrette. Syrette dropped a chunk of decomposing wood onto the kitchen table. "I went back to that balcony that collapsed at the old pony's home. The wood was rotted through. Funny thing though, when I asked about it, the manager told me that they had just put it in last year." Alexander steepled his fingers. "Does wood rot that quickly?" "So what about the hot-air balloon?" Alexander rubbed his face. "The bus' limbers had been cut halfway through with glue and sawdust mixed into the gap to hide the damage. And the crane at the construction site showed signs of tampering. Several of the control wires were cut and I found several broken locks. I wasn't able to find anything at the dam, but the way Mare-Do-Well put it back together, I'm not totally surprised." Syrette scratched his chin. "Sounds like we've got a saboteur." Syrette shook his head. "How do we know that it isn't this 'Mare-Do-Well' that's causing these 'accidents?' Awfully convenient how she manages to stop these things before anyone gets hurt." "I don't think it is MDW." "Oh? And what makes you think that?" Alexander thought back to his conversation with Twilight four days ago. "Call it a hunch." Syrette threw his hooves in the air. "Fine, you have a hunch. Whoop-de-do!" Syrette rubbed his face with both hooves. "So, what do we do, tell the authorities?" "What authorities?" Alexander snorted as he leaned back in his chair. "Until recently, Ponyville hasn't had any serious crimes for several decades. Their arbites, sorry, their police here consists of two old guys who'd probably be outrun by a snail with a broken toe and some filly who's barely out of training pants. Do you seriously think they'd be able to handle somebody who's blown up a dam?" Syrette shook his head. "Yeah didn't think so. No, we're going to have to handle this ourselves." Cog's lenses flashed under his crimson hood. Alexander scratched the stubble forming on his chin. "Good point." His eyes brightened. "I know just who to call." Alexander climbed the stairs to his quarters, closing the door behind him. Sitting at his desk, Alexander scratched Cinis' head as the little phoenix cheeped happily on his perch. Pulling out a scroll and ink and quill, Alexander began to write. Princess Celestia, I have no doubt that you've heard about the rash of incidents that have been occurring this past week in Ponyville. My colleagues and I have determined that these 'accidents' were in fact acts of sabotage and destruction that were only stopped by the actions of a private citizen acting as a masked vigilante. We believe that this saboteur's next target will be the parade and rally being held in two days time by the Mayor to honor this vigilante. In order to provide proper security for this event, I am requesting that you send a detachment of guards to Ponyville. Alexander Yaeger Sentinel Alexander reread the letter and rolled it up. "Now to find Spike and send this to-" A fiery sneeze sent Alexander tumbling out of his seat as the letter turned to ash. Sitting up, Alexander glared at the snuffling phoenix on the desk. "And now I have to start over. Thank you." Cinis ruffled his feathers sheepishly, chirping an apology. Sighing, Alexander pulled out another piece of parchment and began to dip the quill into the inkwell. A sniffle from Cinis sent Alexander diving for cover moments before another burning sneeze scorched the desk. Peeking over the edge of the desk, Alexander saw a neatly rolled up scroll sitting in the middle of a burn on the desktop next to a sniffling baby phoenix. Cautiously, he snaked a hand over the scroll and snatched it back before anything else happened. Glancing suspiciously at the huffing bird, Alexander opened the scroll. Dearest Alexander, The news that somepony has been deliberately attempting to bring harm to my subjects disturbs me greatly. I am dispatching a squad of royal guards to Ponyville. Due to extenuating circumstances, I cannot send more, but rest assured, the squad I am sending you is more than familiar with your style of command. Should all go smoothly, they will arrive on the 8:00 train in the morning. I wish you the best of luck. Princess Celestia P.S. I see you've discovered that dragons aren't the only species that can send mail by magic. Alexander read the scroll again, making sure he had read it properly. Familiar with my style of command? What? He scratched his head in bemusement. I don't get it. Alexander looked at the clock on the wall. Urg, I'll find out in the morning.