//------------------------------// // Putting Your Hoof Down // Story: Angel // by Sage Runner //------------------------------// "Get whatever else you want," Cranky said. "My treat." "Your treat?" the caped stallion replied from across the table. "It sort of always is, right? You pay for lodging, food, things I... appropriate for myself." "Somepony's gotta keep you honest, kid," Cranky replied. "And will you stop calling me 'kid'? I'm twenty-three." "Still a kid compared to this old donkey," he replied, "and I bothered to specify that it was my treat because today marks a full year that we've been travelling together." "Where does the time go..." the stallion said. "Well ya tend to lose large chunks of it when you spend all your down time drinkin'." "Yeah, speaking of which, why did we come to a diner instead of checking out the local pub?" They were in a port town that received goods imported from the land of the Griffons, and as such the Griffons comprised the majority of the town's population, and the ale they brewed was said to be especially good. "Because I needed a break from keeping your drunken behind outta trouble," Cranky replied flatly. "The percentage of towns in Equestria I've been run out of has increased from none to one-was-too-many since I started bar-hoppin' with you." "Nopony ever said you couldn't join me, you don't have to be the designated buzzkill, mate," he replied. "Sorry, gotta keep my wits about me at all times," Cranky replied. "Right," the stallion replied, "finding Matilda. There are other fish in the sea, you know? And you've been searching for this one for how many years now?" "I've lost track of the years, but when you find true love, you lose your taste for fish," Cranky replied, somewhat distantly. "Speaking of taste," the waitress interrupted, placing a bowl on the table, "this is for you, on the house." The stallion looked down at the towering ice cream sundae that had been placed before him, complete with a cherry on top. "Any dessert for you, sir?" she asked the donkey. "None for me, thanks," he nodded as she walked away. "She likes you," he added. "Not really into Griffons," the stallion replied, eating the cherry first. "Their beaks tend to get in the way of like everything." "Creep." Cranky replied. "Well I'm certainly no angel. Sundae's good, though," he said, taking a second spoon-full. "So it's been a full year, huh?" "Eeyup." "Crickey, no idea how you've put up with me for all that time, all the trouble I've gotten you into. How many towns have 'asked' us not to return?" "Three." Cranky replied. "And as for why, I'm still hopin' that one of these days you'll wise up and stop actin' like such a jackass. Yeah, I know what I just said, wipe that smirk off your face, I'm bein' serious. You're better than you give yourself credit for, and I'm not givin' up on ya quite yet, kid.' "Trying to be a positive influence, eh old man? Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I assure you, I am a scoundrel, through and through," the stallion grinned. "You're full of it." "In any case, seeing as how it is the anniversary of our little bromance, I propose a toast: To the two most mismatched desperadoes in Equestria and their never ending search for love and loot. You find the love, I find the loot!" the stallion raised his glass of ice water. "Heh," Cranky rolled his eyes. "Here, here." "And once again I renew my semi-sincere promise to both help you find your Matilda, and to strike it rich, or my name isn't Driiiiiiiiiiippppphhhhhhh..." Angel awoke to the familiar surroundings of Fluttershy's cottage. "So close..." he thought as he tried to go back to sleep. ... "Alright, Mr. Mousey, these are the new details of my old life that I learned in my dream," Angel said, pacing back and forth in the living room in front of a mouse towards whom he had carelessly thrown a pencil and paper. "I apparently travelled with a donkey for at least a little while, even though I was alone when I died. We'll mark that one under 'irrelevant', because I don't really care about that stuff. The important thing is that I was in the process of enjoying an especially good ice cream sundae when I began to say my own name. Obviously, I woke up before I heard the whole thing, or we wouldn't be having this emergency staff meeting right now." A squeak came in response. "Our course is obvious: I must recreate the circumstances of that moment by eating a sundae. This will surely trigger the dream again, I can hear the end of it, learn my old name, and stop worrying about the past once and for all! Genius, I know. Oh, but I can't simply eat an ice cream sundae, no no, I have to enjoy it, meaning I'll have to tweak the dessert in question to suit my more rabbit-like palette. Alright, read that back to me." The mouse squeaked once. "What do you mean you weren't paying attention!? I'm standing here, spilling my inner turmoil and darkest secrets to you and you can't even bloody pay attention!? You're fired!" The mouse squeaked again and started walking away. "No, okay, wait, you're rehired. You're the only thing with ears I know that'll sit still long enough for me to finish a thought." ... "Here you go, Angel Bunny!" Fluttershy said as she placed his meal before him. "I don't want this stuff!" Angel said as he kicked the bowl away, clearly overplaying his disdain. "Okay, Mister Picky-pants, you win. Carrots, lettuce and apples!" she replied, placing another bowl of the aforementioned goods before him. "Carrots, lettuce, and apples are bullshit!" Angel said in response, throwing the second bowl aside. "What?" Fluttershy asked, surprised. "But- Then, what will you eat?" "So glad you asked!" Angel replied enthusiastically, as he darted away, and came back holding a recipe book, already open to a specific page. "Feast your eyes on this bad boy!" Fluttershy studied the picture of what looked like an ice cream sundae but was comprised of various fruits and vegetables. "I'm not sure I can even make that!" Fluttershy replied. "This, right here?" Angel said, tapping the picture with his hoof repeatedly. "Only thing that'll keep me from starving to death." "Well... I don't want you to starve..." she replied. "Oh, are you sure I can't tempt you with a nice crisp piece of-" "No!" Angel cut her off, slapping a piece of lettuce out of her hand and shoving the book into her face. "Yes!" "I'll make your special recipe," Fluttershy sighed. ... "Don't judge me!" Angel said in response to a squeak from the mouse. "Maybe I was a tad demanding, but this is important, and you know that. This meal that mum's preparing in the other room is the key to learning my old name, and it has to be perfect, right down to the cherry on top." The mouse squeaked again. "Why didn't I tell her the truth? Well for one thing, the story is crazy and no sane pony would believe it, and even if she did..." Angel lowered his head, and spoke with a more morose tone of voice. "I don't want mum to start seeing me as the angry drunk who nearly got her killed by yelling at her." Another squeak. "Yes, I know it's ironic that I'm accomplishing this by getting angry and yelling at her more, smartass. Also, stop analyzing this." "Tada!" Fluttershy proudly declared, placing the sundae before Angel. "Here you go, Angel!" "Thanks, mum! Gotta make sure I start with the cher-" Angel stopped short as he looked more closely at his sundae, "-ry?" "Sorry there's no cherry on top, but the rest of it is exactly what you wanted!" Fluttershy said. "Is there really no cherry on top?" Angel asked, an unsettling calm in his voice. "There's not..." Fluttershy replied. "Then it isn't exactly what I wanted, now is it!?" he shouted, overturning the bowl and throwing his meal to the ground. The mouse squeaked. "You stay out of this!" Angel commanded. "And you, mum, this is literally the most important meal in the world to me, and after everything I've done for you, I don't think it's too much to ask that you make it exactly the way the book says!" "I really am a doormat..." Fluttershy said sadly. "What are you talking about?" Angel asked. "Rarity said I was a doormat after I kept letting people cut in line for the ingredients at the marketplace. The cherry vendor even raised the price on his last cherry because he knew I wanted it." "Oh!" Angel said. "I see the problem now! Obviously I'll take care of that vendor at my leisure but for right now, what you need is some assertiveness training!" "Assertiveness training?" Fluttershy asked. "Some goat came by and left this in your mailbox, and then I took it," Angel replied, producing a pamphlet. "Why would you take-" "Focus, mum, this is the key to getting your hooves on that cherry!" Fluttershy stared blankly. "Uh- I mean, the key to helping you improve your life or something!" "'The incredible Iron Will turns doormats into dynamos. Assertiveness seminar today, Hedge Maze Centre.'" she read aloud. "As Celestia is my witness, I'm never going to be a pushover again!" "That's the spirit!" Angel shouted triumphantly. "Now get going!" he added as he pushed Fluttershy over the threshold of the cottage. ... "Alright," Angel said, preparing to start a new day, "time to see if that training paid off, how're ya feeling, mum?" "I feel good," Fluttershy responded. "Ready to 'attack the day', as Iron Will says!" "'Atta girl!" Angel said. "Let's get out there and attack us some diem!" As they left the cottage, they caught sight of the local gardener, Greenhooves, as he grossly overwatered Fluttershy's flower bed. "I think you might be over-watering my petunias... again," Fluttershy said as the elderly stallion chucked. "Let the professional handle it," Greenwood said dismissively. "Would Iron Will put up with that? Will you?" Angel asked. "'Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once-over!'" Fluttershy said, repeating one of Iron Will's inspirational catchphrases. She proceeded to stomp down Greenwood's hose, causing it to back up. As he peered down the nozzle to identify the problem, she lifted her hoof, resulting in a very drenched gardener. "Well perhaps that is enough water..." Mr. Greenwood said as he coughed. "That was flippin' awesome!" Angel cheered. "I can't believe it worked!" Fluttershy said, giggling proudly. "I can, it's like I've been saying all along, you channel that inner strength, and nopony can stand in our way! Now come on, we've got more day to attack!" Angel replied. ... "Excuse me?" Fluttershy asked the two mares standing in front of her. Both were pulling carts of rubbish and were blocking off the bridge, while deep in conversation. "Would you mind moving your carts so I can pass?" "Yeah yeah, in a minute," one of the women replied, only half acknowledging her. "I just wanna finish up this story..." "When somepony tries to block?" Angel asked, a grin forming on his face. "Show them that you rock!" Fluttershy replied, bucking the carts and spilling garbage all over the impromptu pony-blockade. "Easy does it, lady!" they shouted indignantly. "We're moving, okay?" "Good!" Fluttershy barked back at them. "This might be the best day of my life," Angel whispered to himself, trying to contain his laughter. ... "What do you think you're doing?!" Fluttershy asked the mare who had blatantly cut in front of her in line at Sugarcube Corner. "Didn't you see me?" "I guess, maybe?" she replied, not paying attention. "What a bitch," Angel said. "'Maybe', she says." "Maybes are for babies!" Fluttershy responded, angrily commanding the mare to move to the back of the line. Not only did she comply, but so did everyone else in the line. "Am I dreaming?" Angel asked. "If I am I don't want to wake up! Path's clear, mum, let's get us that cherry!" Fluttershy nodded happily as she approached Pinkie Pie and Rarity at the counter. "Look at you!" Pinkie said, impressed. Rarity agreed and they spent some time discussing the finer points of Fluttershy's refreshingly dominating personality. "New Fluttershy feels pretty stoked about new Fluttershy," she said proudly. "Well, old Pinkie Pie feels really proud of new Fluttershy," Pinkie replied, producing a large bowl of punch. "Proud as pink punch. Want some?" and she began to laugh. "You are very easily amused, you know that?" Angel said, raising an eyebrow. "You laugh at me?" Fluttershy asked. "I wrath at thee!" as she knocked the punch bowl over on top of Pinkie, soaking her. "Um, okay!" Angel said, feigning enthusiasm in the form of a toothy smile combined with nervous eyes. "That might have been completely uncalled for, mum..." he laughed nervously. "Bye, girls!" Fluttershy said cheerfully as she left the shop. "Mum, you forgot to buy the cherry," Angel said as he followed her out of the shop. He watched in horror as a stallion tried to commandeer the taxi carriage she had flagged down, only to be beaten and tossed to the ground. "Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around!" she screamed, waving her hoof in the air dramatically. "NOPONY!" "...Oh shit," Angel said as the carriage took off without him. ... "Well," Angel said as Fluttershy stared down at a puddle of water, observing her reflection, "you shoved a mailman into a mailbox for having shit eyesight, you assaulted a tourist who asked you a question, and you verbally cut down your closest friends." "I'm a monster," Fluttershy muttered as she began to tear up. "I might be partially responsible for this," Angel admitted. "I was the one who encouraged this behavior from you, all because I wanted a stupid cherry. It was wrong of me to manipulate you for my own selfish gain, and I'm sorry. But don't you worry, I'm gonna make this right! Together we'll figure out how you can be assertive without acting like a psychopath!" "No, Angel, I'm too far gone. There's only one solution." ... "I think you should listen to your friends," Angel said, referring to Rarity and Pinkie Pie who were attempting to reconcile with Fluttershy through the closed door of her cottage. "Boarding up the windows and doors and tying yourself up so you don't harm others is admirable, but I feel I would be remiss if I didn't point out the fact that we are going to run out of food eventually. This is not a permanent solution." He responded to a growing commotion outside by hopping over to a nearby window. "What's going on?" Fluttershy asked. "Iron Will," Angel said. "He's jerking your friends around, it seems." "He must be here to collect his payment for the seminar," Fluttershy replied distantly. "As if he deserves one Bit for putting us through this crap," Angel said. "I'm going to pay him what I owe him," Fluttershy said, wriggling out of her bindings. "You can't be serious, mum. His assertiveness training has brought you nothing but misery! You've got to put your hoof down and tell him you're not paying!" "If I do that, I'll just turn into a monster again. I'd rather be a doormat than hurt anypony." "Then choose the third option," Angel said. "Assert yourself without becoming a monster." "But how?" Fluttershy asked meekly. "You march out that door, look that minotaur straight in the eye, and you lay out a perfectly calm, and rational explanation as to why you're not paying him jack shit!" "I..." Fluttershy's eyes widened. "I think I know what to say to him!" "Then I'll defer to your judgment, like I should have done in the first place." ... "Guess everything turned out well enough," Angel said. "You cited Iron Will's 'you pay nothing if you're not satisfied' rule, stuck to your guns until he left, and made amends with your mates. The only problem is..." he grimiaced at the boring assortment of lettuce and oranges in the bowl in front of him. "Angel," Fluttershy commanded. "Fine," he sighed in defeat, "I guess it's better than starving to death." He reluctantly took a small bite. "Actually, that's not bad," he said as he began to eat more. Fluttershy smiled as he enjoyed the meal. ... Even though he didn't recreate the circumstances, he enjoyed the special meal his master had prepared for him enough to recapture that old feeling, and as a result, he once again dreamed of that moment in the diner... "In any case, seeing as how it is the anniversary of our little bromance, I propose a toast: To the two most mismatched desperadoes in Equestria and their never ending search for love and loot. You find the love, I find the loot!" the stallion raised his glass of ice water. "Heh," Cranky rolled his eyes. "Here, here." "And once again I renew my semi-sincere promise to both help you find your Matilda, and to strike it rich, or my name isn't Drif-" "Here's the check, sirs, enjoy the rest of your day!" The waitress said cheerfully, interrupting him mid-sentence and placing the slip of paper between them. "Oh, thank you," the stallion replied. "Anyway, yadda yadda, here's to us!" And they clicked their glasses together... "SON OF A WHORE!" Angel shouted as he opened his eyes, waking the entire cottage in the process.