Chapter 6
(Now edited by Neko Majn C)
“I’m waiting,” Stan said as he impatiently tapped his foot. “That food doesn’t come cheap, you know. I spent five-no-ten-fifty dollars on that, and I would hope you’d have a good reason for taking it in bulk. And the answer better not be to feed Soos, I don’t want him picking up any bad habits.”
Sweat rolled down Dipper’s head as he struggled for an answer. “You see, I need this food because-um.”
“Wait a second; I know exactly what’s going on.” Stan said as he rubbed his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Hoarding mass amounts of food, awkward disposition, and a river of sweat running down your shirt. Why didn’t I see sooner, it’s so obvious you’re-”
“Grunkle Stan I’m so sorry I was going to t-“
“Starting puberty!”
“Wait, what now?”
“I can’t believe it, my great nephew is becoming a man,” He sniffed. “This has to be the seventh best thing to ever happen to me.”
“Uh, Stan, that’s really not what’s going on here.”
“It’s alright kid,” Stan said wrapping an arm around Dipper. “Your good old Grunkle Stan is here to answer all your weird and personal questions you may have on this weird and hairy journey into adulthood. You know what, I have just the book for this occasion, wait here while I go and get it. Then we can discuss all the horrible things that are going to happen to you.”
With that, Stan made his way out of the kitchen. Dipper seized this opportunity to escape, sweeping the food into a backpack and hastily making his way out the kitchen door.
At around the same time, Stan had made his way back into the kitchen clutching a small pamphlet in his hand. “Aw, come on, Dipper, you can’t hide from adulthood forever. It'll always find you, no matter how much camouflage you use!”
“Master Sombra, master Sombra.” Gideon yelled racing toward the crystal garden. “Master Sombrahahaha.” He screamed as his foot caught on one of the crystals, causing him to tumble uncontrollably into the center of the garden.
Sombra snorted and rolled his eyes at the sight. Sombra illuminated his horn with a dark aura, as he did so, Gideon was lifted off the ground and placed on his feet in front of the dark lord. “What is it, you bloody fool?” he said with an irritated hiss.
“A thousand pardons, s-sir.” Gideon placed his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. “Whew, oh my, last time I ran that fast some crazed fan was trying to get a lock of my hair and-”
“Boy, you are trying my patience, speak now, or so help me, you'll have nightmares so severe you'll be reduced to a shivering pile of waste!"
“No, no please, I’m sorry, master, it won’t happen again," Gideon pleaded, shielding himself with his arms. "Alright, so there I was, minding my own business and making my way past the Mystery Shack to deliver another batch of flowers and love letters to my darling Mabel. When all of a sudden, I heard some voices over near that big hole in the ground.”
One brief explanation later.
In a fit of rage, Sombra smashed his hoof through a nearby tree. “Curse that meddling trickster; I should have ended his pathetic life when I had the chance!” Sombra ground his teeth together whilst Gideon stood in place, his knees quivering uncontrollably out of terror. “Now I have him and an Alicorn to deal with, and with only seven days to my accentuation. They’re probably on their way to stop me right now, with that old fool leading the way.”
“A-actually, sir, they don’t seem to know where you are.”
Sombra slowly turned his head to Gideon, revealing a look of pure disgust. “Excuse me?” Sombra’s horn began to glow once more, at the same time, a layer of ice had begun to crawl its way up Gideon’s leg. “Are you saying I’m wrong? That perhaps I was merely delusional the night that celestial jester appeared to me? But I know that can't possibly be what you meant, because that would mean you would be insinuating that I’m insane.”
Gideon was in a panic as he attempted to free himself from the encroaching ice, which was crawling its way up his stomach. Sombra came eye to eye with Gideon as his voice became a low hush.
“But you and I both know that somepony who was crazy wouldn’t give you twenty seconds to explain yourself before the ice completely envelops your wretched little body. I would suggest you start talking, you have about nine seconds left.”
“H-he said he just forgot, I-I swear!” Gideon’s eyes dashed back and forth, watching in horror as the ice crawled up his arms.
“Hm, what a waste of three seconds.”
“Please, sir, I’m telling you all I know I… swear!” With that, Gideon’s body had become completely encompassed in ice.
Sombra gave a low annoyed growl from the bottom of his throat. With a sudden flash from his horn, the ice shattered around Gideon. He approached the drenched and shivering boy with a sneer. “Go now, keep an eye on them and make sure they stay as far away from this place as possible.”
“Y-y-y-yessir.” Gideon ran off with clattering teeth as he rubbed his arms attempting to regain some lost body heat.
“Sombra!” The voice hissed. “Why did you let that useless little parasite live? He has long outlived his usefulness, why not finally be rid of him?!”
“The time will come when he is no longer needed, but that day is not today. The boy can access places we can’t and hopefully he’ll act as a distraction for our foes long enough to retain our full power once more.”
“Hm, very well, but you can’t expect him to last that long without any assistance, can you?”
“I suppose not.” Sombra’s horn sparked to life once more, he turned his head and fired a blast of energy into the forest. Moments later dozens of sticks and branches floated toward the clearing quickly assembling into three separate piles. The branches of each pile slowly started to take shape. Paws formed, then four strong legs, a large frame, tails made from pine needles and finally the heads and jaws, armed to the teeth with sharpened branches. The creatures opened their glowing green eyes, raised their heads, and let loose the blood curdling howl of the timberwolves.
Sombra gave a sinister smile as he looked over his creations. “Seek out my foes and destroy them, my pets!”
The beasts bowed their heads and dashed off into the forest, snarling and barking at one another.
Sombra watched as the pack disappeared out of sight. “What is that old fool up to?” He muttered to himself.
Dipper hustled his way back to the bottomless pit, cradling the food in his arms. He arrived at where he had last seen Discord and Twilight, only to find that they had vanished from sight once more. “Hey, where are you guys?”
“We're over here, Dipper.” Twilight’s voice called out from a nearby patch of bushes.
Dipper made his way over to the foliage to find Twilight resting on the ground with her legs tucked underneath her body. Discord was a little behind her, toying with a flower that appeared to be snapping at him, which he threw behind his back as he rushed to Dipper.
“Oh goodie, goodie, breakfast! Alright, let’s see whatcha got for Discord.” He said as he placed himself in front of Twilight.
“Well, I wasn’t able to get you guys anything fancy, but I at least brought you back the stuff that didn’t have any mold on it." Dipper said as he reached into the backpack. "Alright, for Discord, since I really don’t know what you are, I kind of had to just guess what you eat, so here is a can of meat and some chips.” Dipper held up the two items of food which Discord took in his claws.
He smelled both items before popping the bag of chips in his paw and pouring the contents into his mouth. He tossed the bag aside and used his tooth as a can opener to remove the lid of the canned meat; he took one sniff before he dumped out the putrid brown substance and ate the can instead. “Well, I’ve had worse, but it’s the thought that counts. Many thanks, Dipper.”
“No problem, Discord, and for you, Twilight, the freshest apple I could find and some celery.”
Twilight smiled as she used her magic to levitate the two items closer to her. With hungry eyes and a single bite, half of the apple was gone. She chewed the fruit slowly, savoring every last bit of it before she finally swallowed. “I think it may be the hunger talking, but this may be the best apple I've ever had, thanks again, Dipper.”
Dipper grinned as his face turned a light shade of red. “Don’t mention it. So, Twilight, would you mind if I asked you a question?”
“Of course, what’s on your mind?” She said while chewing on the other half of the apple.
“Well, it’s about the guy we’re after.”
“Sombra.”
“Right, him. Well, when we find him, how exactly do you expect to take him down?”
“Well, Dipper, I’m glad you asked.” Twilight said as she gave a proud smile. “While you were gone I used the spare time to whip up a little list. It’s by no means anything special, but for the good of the mission, I thought it necessary to plot a few possible outcomes and ways of dealing with them for when we encounter Sombra. But I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in something like that, would you?”
“Actually I kind of am.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no!” Discord said, frantically waving his arms.
“I’m a bit of a list enthusiast myself, actually.”
Twilight’s eyes lit up as she let out squeal of excitement and clapped her hooves together.
“Oh, my stars, there’s two of them! What could I possibly have done to deserve this?” Discord groaned as he slid a paw down his face.
Twilight shot him a nasty look before she turned back to Dipper. “I knew there was something special about you that I liked. Fair warning, I kind of made this last minute so there are quite a few variables that may need to be factored in along the way, but this should detail some of the possibilities.” With a quick flash from her horn, Dipper watched as Twilight conjured a medium sized scroll on the ground in front of the two of them.
Dipper chuckled and shook his head. “Really, Discord, this is what you’re so afraid of? It doesn’t even look like it will take fifteen minutes to go over.”
“Yes, you go ahead and keep right on thinking that.” Discord said as he conjured up a set of pajamas, a teddy bear, and night mask over his eyes. “You kids have fun, I had a long night, and I’m going to take this opportunity to catch up on my beauty sleep.”
“What? But it’s like one p.m.”
“You’d do well to remember that.” With a snap of his figures, Discord was resting comfortably on a pink cloud with a blanket draped over his long body. With one final snap, Dipper watched as his ears sprouted a pair of legs and scampered somewhere into the cloud. “Good luck, Dipper. And Twilight, try to take it easy on him.”
“Well, at least he’ll be out of the way,” Twilight said. “So, are you ready to get started, honorary-temporary-assistant?”
“I thought we were just going with Dipper?”
“Right, sorry.” She smiled as she began to unroll the scroll. “Here we go, option number one...”
“And that’s all seven hundred ninety-six possible scenarios, and most, if not all, their possible variables thus far. Wow, I’m actually quite impressed with you, Dipper, if you hadn’t been here, there would be quite a few unaccounted variables in some of these theories.”
Dipper smiled. “No problem at all, Twilight, I’m always happy to help. Besides, number two hundred seventy-three was a doozy. How were we suppose to get ahold of eighteen boxes of confetti, thirty gallons of apple cider, and something called a ‘party cannon’?” Dipper’s face lit up as he began to laugh.
Twilight stomped her hoof to the ground as she joined Dipper in his laughter. “Well, I do hold out a sliver of hope a certain friend of mine would somehow stumble her way here.” Her smile slowly faded as her head tilted downward.
“Hey, is everything alright?” Dipper asked.
“Y-yeah, sorry I guess I’m just a little homesick, is all.”
Dipper edged closer to her; he gave a comforting smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Twilight turned her head in response and smiled in return. “Th-”
“Dipper, it’s time for bed!” The sound of Mabel’s voice echoed through the forest. “Come on, Dipper, you can stop hiding now. Stan says he’ll postpone the gross guy talk for some other time.”
“Yeah!” Stan’s voice chimed in. “Like when I catch you doing something creepy like spying on your sister and her friends.”
“Grunkle Stan, that’s gross, Dipper wouldn’t do that!”
“I use to think the same thing about me and lying, but look who has a Dalmatian made of ivory and pays all his taxes, this guy! Anyways, I’m off to bed, goodnight, you two.”
“Goodnight, Grunkle Stan. I’ll see you inside, Dipper.”
“Well,” Twilight said, “you better not keep them waiting.”
“Are you sure you’ll be alright out here? I could sleep out here tonight if you want.”
“Oh no, I could never ask you to do that. Besides, I’m not completely alone out here.” Twilight said as she glanced up to a snoring Discord, with his lion paw dangling over the side of the cloud.
Dipper gave a look of concern as he rubbed his chin. Dipper’s eyes widened and a smile appeared on his face. “Wait here.” He said, after which he dashed into the house, leaving Twilight alone. He reemerged minutes later dragging something behind his back. He grinned with eagerness as he stepped in front of Twilight. “Alright, close your eyes.”
Twilight gave a curious look before she did as he said and closed her eyes. “Alright, Dipper, just what are you up to?”
“Just keep them closed for a little bit longer, alright?”
Twilight giggled and nodded.
“Okay, that should just about do it, open your eyes.”
Twilight gasped. “Oh, Dipper, you shouldn’t have.” Lying before her was a small makeshift bed made up of two blankets spread out and lying on top of one another with an additional blanket off to the side, two pillows, a flashlight, a cooler, and a small horse doll placed on top of the two blankets.
“It was nothing, really. Until I can get something figured out, this is the best I could do. Anyway, I brought you an extra blanket in case you get cold, a few more apples with no mold on them, and the doll just in case you feel like you need something to hold. Oh, and if you need anything else, here is this.” Dipper reached into his vest and pulled out a small box with wire on the top of it. “This is called a Walkie-Talkie, if at any time you need anything just push this button, talk into it, and then let go, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Dipper placed it next to one of the pillows.
Twilight gave him a small smile as tears began to well up in her eyes. “Dipper, I don’t know what to say, except, thank you. This truly has to be one of the nicest things anypony has ever done for me.”
“Hey, don’t mention it. Hey, I have to get going, but I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, alright?”
“Right, we have big plans for tomorrow, after all.”
“Alright, goodnight, Twilight.”
“Goodnight, Dipper.”
With that, the two parted ways. Dipper made his way back into the shack and Twilight situated herself into bed. She rested her head on one of the pillows, and, using her magic one last time, she levitated the horse plushy and placed it under her hoof and pulled it close to her. Lying on the small makeshift bed, Twilight closed her eyes and fell asleep.
At about the same time, Discord’s eyes shot open. He rolled over to the side of the cloud and peered over at the sleeping Alicorn. “Finally, I thought they’d never stop.” Discord whispered as he rose from his cloud bed. “Now, let’s see how plan B fairs.”