//------------------------------// // The End of a Dream // Story: A Dream That Wasn't // by Another Army Brony //------------------------------// A Dream That Wasn't Book 2, Chapter 1 I had been a human once, complete with a family. Not a very good human, with more faults than I'd be able to count if I tried, but a human nonetheless. One night, after a massive fight with my wife, I'd stormed out. The last time I saw her, she was holding our son with tears in her eyes. I didn't turn back to comfort her, try to chase away those tears and tease out a smile. No, I hopped on my motorcycle and tried to outrun my anger and my shame. Failing that, I'd gone to a friend's house and gotten blackout drunk on some fluorescent green alcohol. At some point during this blackout, I'd begun hallucinating, floating around in an impenetrable void with disjointed voices talking in riddles. Nothing terribly remarkable thus far, but that was just the beginning. From there, things got... inexplicable. Cryptic voices gave way to a fall to my death, in a place that was most decidedly not the land I was used to. A blur of pain and pastel ponies later, and I'd wound up with a friend. Strangest lucid dream ever, amiright? Except, it wasn't. Oh, it had all of the hallmarks of a dream all right; the talking ponies and my strange new body were evidence enough of that. This, however, turned out to be a dream that wasn't. Before I knew what was happening, I'd spun a web of lies and half-truths to cover my past; even worse, I'd started to fall in love. How was I supposed to tell her? Everything she thought of me, it was all based on lies; these fallacies I'd woven her as I stared into her eyes. To reveal the truth to her was a risk I just couldn't take, not until I was sure she wouldn't shun me, at least. By the time I'd finally come clean about my past, half a year had passed since my arrival. My mistakes had piled up and up and up around me, towering ever higher and threatening to bury me. My arrival and the lies surrounding it were the linchpin holding everything in place; when my confession pulled it, everything came crashing down around me. Hurting from the very depths of my soul, saddened beyond measure at the prospect of losing everything I held dear, I turned to alcohol and blessed oblivion. Alcohol was the catalyst that metastasized my pain and despair into something far more potent: rage. I was furious at myself for doing what I'd done and causing this entire stupid debacle. I had nobody to blame but myself, and that made it even worse. Whether by fate or just bad timing, a buck with a grudge decided that it was time to settle a grudge he'd been harboring against me, along with 4 of his closest friends. The brutality of my response was unheard of; I was labeled a monster, and rightly so. How could Joy ever love me now that my darker side had come out to play? I'd already shown her that I wasn't who she thought I was, and as if to put the cherry on top, I go off in a drunken stupor and commit unspeakable violence. Less than twelve hours later. She could never want me again, I was a monster. Wasn't I? No, I wasn't. At least, not entirely. I may not have been the sharpest spoon in the tool shed, but I'd done my best to be a good pony. I wasn't a good human, husband, or a father, and kind of a terrible person in general, but I'd been a decent pony. Since I'd come to this strange land full of magic and equines, things had been going well. I laughed more, was slower to anger, and took the time to simply stare in wonder at the majesty of creation. But most importantly, I'd loved. Deeper and more fully than ever before, more completely than I'd ever known I could, I loved. And it was this very love that Joy and I had shared that tipped the scales in my favor. She'd been able to look past my mistakes and my lies, past the walls I put up to keep ponies out, and see the real me. The me that not even I could see. She saw my flaws, and what a multitude of flaws there were, but she also found my virtue. What this virtue is, I couldn't say; she just giggled and looked away whenever I asked her about it. But, if it was good enough for her, it was good enough for me. After all, it was about time I'd left the thinking to a clever pony. The weeks passed in a blur as we learned how to love each other again. The damage I'd done ran deep, deeper than I'd ever feared, but the changes it brought about were far from bad. Without the premise of secrecy, our communication was unhindered by deception. Beyond this, the short time we'd spent apart only served to bolster in our minds the fact that we never wanted to be apart again. Due to conflicting shifts, Joy and I weren't able to spend as much time together as we had before, but we relished our time together all the more because of this. In the time we'd spent together since my confession, several things had become clear to me. First, I was an idiot. No surprise there. What was a surprise though was how much love and tolerance Joy was capable of. I'd lived with her for over six months on false pretenses, lying about my past and about my very nature. Sure, my reasons had been valid enough, I suppose, but that did little to change the circumstances I'd found myself in. Foolish though my actions had been, my intentions were true. There is, however, a saying about good intentions and their road-like qualities, and for good reason. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. We are not to this part of the story yet; no, far from it. These were still the glory days. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- And so it was that the fiery colors of autumn slowly gave way to the first nip of frost, herald of the coming winter, and finally to the frigid embrace of Jack Frost himself. One cold winter's morning near the mid of December, Joy and I found ourselves intertwined on the couch for warmth. The day was Saturday, and despite not being roused by the alarm until nine, we were up at the crack of dawn; for the sun was rising later and later and setting sooner in kind. Yawning, stretching, and kissing accomplished, we rolled out of bed to prepare for the day. And oh, what a day it would be! The first good snow of the winter had fallen overnight, the weather pegasi having put in a full night's work. The entire world was sheathed in a layer of downy snow, blunting the edges of buildings and piling up in the corners of the world. This was not the reason for our merriment on this day, though it certainly did not detract from it; no, it was on this day that we were to set out and begin making the arrangements for our upcoming union. The first stop of the day was to be Twilight's Library, where we sought to enlist the mare's exceptional organizational skills to assist in the planning and organization of the event. From there, we'd head to the Carousel Boutique for a bit of fashion and decorating advice, and finally swing by Sugarcube Corner to look at cake designs. As soon as we'd finished breakfast, we set out into the gleam of freshly fallen snow. “Oh, Dave, isn't this wonderful?” Without bothering to wait for a reply, Joy set about frolicking in the undisturbed powder, giggling like a filly as she sent plumes flying to and fro. I couldn't help but smile; her energy was infectious, to say nothing of her cuteness. Seizing the element of surprise, I scooped up a bunch of snow with my wing, using my feathers to compact it into a small ball. “Hey, Joy! You've got something on your face!” As Joy stopped mid-frolic to look back at me, she was caught full in the face by an expertly lobbed snowball. “Ha! It's snow. Get it? You've got snow on your-” My reply was cut off as Joy released a fusillade of snowballs in my direction. Shielding myself with my wings, I dove over a hedge to get out of the line of fire, so that I could regroup and attack. At least, that's what would have happened if Joy hadn't scooped up a metric buttload of snow and dropped it on me. Dang unicorns and their cheating magic... Thoroughly routed, I waved my hoof in surrender as I dug myself out of the mini-avalanche. “I surrender!” I called to Joy. “Cease fire, cease fire!” Carefully poking my head over the hedge to see if the coast was clear, I received a perfectly aimed snowball to the face. Just as I was about to Leeroy Jenkins my ass over the hedge and try to tackle Joy into a snowbank, I heard the lilt of her laughter. “Okay Dave, now we're even.” Wiping the snow from my face with a smile, I hopped back over the hedge to join Joy. Sharing a kiss that was far more cold and damp than usual, we chuckled to ourselves and set off for the Library. We'd made it about two-thirds of the way there when we were arrested by a heavenly scent drifting out from somewhere up ahead. If there was one thing I was good at, it was following my nose to food, and that's just what we did. Turning down a very familiar street, we came to the unlikely source of the smell: Berry's. It would seem that winter was hardly a good time to sell smoothies, so Berry had a trick up her sleeve. Or at least she would, if she had sleeves. At any rate, Berry's tactics for the winter months apparently included the ability to make hot chocolate every bit as enticing as her smoothies. I shot Joy my biggest set of puppy dog eyes. I was trying to use my cuteness to drag her into the store, drawing naught but an amused stare from her. “Dave, are you feeling okay? You look sort of funny.” Sensing the futility, I dropped the guise. Unlike Joy, I wasn't very cute, it would seem. “Can we get some hot chocolate for the trip?” Joy relented. “Oh, I suppose. I am a bit chilly after that underhooved attack earlier.” As if to prove her point, she shivered. In ten minutes, we'd acquired our toasty beverages and were cradling them as we stepped back into the cold. As we walked the last bit to the library, I couldn't help taking a deep whiff of my mug. Chocolate and hazelnut danced in my nose, along with other scents I failed to identify. Sipping carefully from the piping hot mug of goodness, it was all I could to to stifle a moan of pleasure. The warmth of the cocoa seemed to radiate from the center of me, chasing away the hoar frost nipping at my hooves. Based on the contented sigh and the dreamy look in her eyes, Joy was having a similar experience. Smiling to myself, I leaned over and nuzzled her neck. As if on cue, large snowflakes began to slowly spiral downward in the calm air. As one, we paused to marvel in the wonder of it. We stood side by side in the vacant street, all of the usual merchants driven from their stands by the cold. There was soft light of the sun being diffused by the clouds overhead, bathing everything in a gentle glow. The snow was piled high atop roofs and against the buildings, softening all of the edges. Large snowflakes slowly floated down from the sky, pirouetting lazily in the stillness of the morning. By my side was the ever-beautiful Joy, as snowflakes like gems sparkled in her mane. Around her neck was a scarf of brilliant blue, one that nearly matched her mane's lovely hue. There we stood, bastions of equinity in an otherwise silent world. It was as if the world had stopped just for us. We stared into each other's eyes, just marveling at the beauty of nature and silently sending thanks for the whims of fate that let us share this wonderment together. Truly, this was a moment of timeless beauty. At least, until one of those glorious snowflakes found its way into my open eye. “Ow, gawdangit!” Vigorously, I rubbed my eye as Joy giggled at my misfortune. I pointed a hoof at her and proclaimed “laugh not, for this could happen to you t-- argh, again?!” My mock-declaration was interrupted by yet another snowflake finding its way to my eye, though the other eye this time. Because, you know, had to make it even or whatever. Stupid snow. Joy was still giggling by the time we got to the library. Musing at how much I dislike snow in my eyes, I stepped up to the doorway, wiping my hooves on the mat. Apparently, that was Jack Frost's cue. As I stomped my hooves on the mat to dislodge the snow that had adhered to them, I dislodged the snow that had adhered to the side of the tree instead. The accumulated precipitation sloughed off the side of the tree in one large clump, covering me completely. By trying to get snow off of me, I'd wound up buried in it. I just couldn't win... After she was finally able to compose herself and quell her hysterical laughter, Joy had me excavated from the avalanche in ten seconds flat. In the meantime though, I was perfectly content to bide my time as a snowpony, plotting my revenge. Unfortunately, I was terrible at plotting revenge. No sooner had I been excavated by Joy than the door swung open, revealing a confused looking Twilight. “What are you ponies doing out here?” I was about to pipe up with a silly comment about practicing hypothermia, but Joy spoke up first. “Oh, Twilight! Just the mare we wanted to see. Dave and I had a proposition for you...” At the word 'proposition', Twilight flushed a little and shifted her weight uncomfortably, glancing back and forth between Joy and I. Trying to keep the conversation on track, I immediately interjected. “Twilight, we need a pony with exceptional organizational skills to help us plan our wedding. Would you be interested in helping?” With a deep sigh of relief, she nodded. “Of course I would, you two. But first, let's head inside. It's far too chilly to stay here.” Without another word, we followed the lavender unicorn inside, closing the door behind us and shucking our winter gear. A few moments' time saw us seated around a fireplace, slowly defrosting over tea and biscuits. Just as we were getting settled into our seats, Twilight spoke up. “You know, when you said you had a proposition for me, I was worried you were going to ask me to do something about all of the snow.” Perhaps it was the way I tilted my head, or maybe it was the stench of burning gears, but Twilight picked up on my confusion. “Well, every year I get a couple ponies who drop by, asking me to do something about the snow. Usually simple things, like thawing out a garden, or a de-icing spell. There was one mare, though, who insisted I conjure up a giant umbrella to shield the entire town! Can you imagine the ruckus that would cause?” We all had a good laugh at that, and I couldn't help but picture a massive polka-dot umbrella stretched over the town. As the laughter died away, Joy broke the silence that followed. “So Twilight, you said you'd help us organize our marriage. Where do we even start with that?” I nodded along, also interested in where to begin. “Well,” said Twilight, stroking her chin, “it just so happens that I have a book specifically on how to plan a wedding. It should arrive soon.” Before had I chance to say “I figured you would” or to ponder what she meant by 'it should arrive soon', a book wrapped in a purple glow streaked in from parts unknown. Catching the book with all the ease of a skilled professional, Twilight casually flipped it and examined the spine. With a small nod of satisfaction, she passed it to Joy. Twilight must have seen my wonder, for she blushed slightly and explained. “This is why the Dewey Decimal System is so important. It tells you exactly where to look.” I just nodded dumbly. It was difficult to imagine anypony who could memorize the decimal location of every book in a library. Yet, if there was anypony who could, it would be Twilight. Joy was excitedly flipping through the pages, eyes wide with wonder as the gears in her mind began spinning. I knew that look... she was coming up with a plan. A plan, I felt I should remind her, that needed to involve me. Clearing my throat, I caught her attention. “Hey, Joy? What are you planning over there?” Based on the way she started at the sound of my voice, it was safe to assume she'd forgotten I was there. With a bashful smile, she made her way over to my side of the couch. I caught Twilight's smile out of the corner of my eye, right before that space was occupied by Joy's lovely blue eyes. As she levitated the book in front of us, Joy was excitedly pointing to things on the page that she'd like to see at our wedding. Some of them, like the fancy place settings and the appetizers, I was on board with. Others, like the chocolate fountain, not so much. I love chocolate as much as the next guy, but I just didn't see it being feasible. All it would take was a single bug or an errant leaf, and the whole batch would be spoiled. Before we got too lost in the small details, Twilight suggested that we copy down the checklist from the front of the book. “That way, you two can have a hard copy to work off of, as well as a way to keep track of progress as each item is procured!” There was a gleam in her eye, one that was hard to describe. I think I might have found the one mare to be truly excited about the prospect of filling out a checklist. Good listeners that we are, we immediately set about doing just that. In what seemed like no time flat (and with more than a few corrections and re-corrections), we'd finally nailed down everything we thought we wanted or needed at the wedding. As I took a moment to re-read the list, I realized just how daunting a prospect it was. For everything we thought we knew, there were five things we didn't. How many guests will be attending? Somewhere between five and two-hundred and thirty seven... ish. How many Bridesmares / Groomstallions will be present? Four Bridesmares; Berry, Derpy, Tenderheart, and Lyra. Groomstallions: To be determined. What colors will be used? The natural brilliance of autumn, with a brace of alabaster pillars 'neath which we wed. At that one, Joy shot me a funny look, as if she was trying to figure out when I'd become a poet. The list went on and on, though mostly in this same manner. Joy, surprise surprise, had almost all of the answers. She knew who she wanted to invite, where she wanted them to sit in relation to each other, and even the exact bottle of champagne she wished to toast with. A forty year vintage from the depths of a place known as Prance, to be exact. Where we would find this bottle, and how we would pay for said bottle... well, that remained to be seen. Reviewing the list once more and finding nothing amiss, we passed it to Twilight for approval. Twilight skimmed the list, murmuring to herself in some places, and either nodding or grimacing in others. Surrounding the parchment with a gentle glow, twilight triplicated it with a flash of magic. Floating one copy to me and another to Joy, the lavender unicorn tucked her copy into a folder and placed it in the librarian's desk. Once it was secure, she nodded at the two of us. “Okay, that's about what I expected for a first draft. There sure are a lot of unknowns, though; the sooner you can figure out the number of guests, even a rough estimate, the sooner we can begin making preparations.” Joy and I nodded at her, vowing that we would do our best. Satisfied, Twilight waved us off, citing research that needed to be done. We said our farewells as we donned our winter gear, the bite of the cold held at bay by the warm tea in our stomachs. I relished the crisp winter's air, savoring each breath as we made our way to Carousel Boutique. Once we arrived and rapped on the door, we were led into a familiar room; it was the one in which I'd “modeled” Rarity's work. A fireplace, previously obscured by the dressmaker's ponequins, glowed with a gently crackling fire, casting ever-shifting shadows around the room. Perched upon a velvet chair near the flames was an alabaster pony, mane as carefully styled as ever. Hearing the approach of hooves, she turned and waved us over with a smile. As I drew nearer I could see that Rarity was clad in a burgundy turtleneck, purple horn-rimmed glasses perched ever-so-daintily on the end of her nose and a book in her lap. This mare was the epitome of casual sophistication, and as much as I wanted to think about other things, I could not help but notice how gorgeous she was. Joy is beautiful in her own right, with a kind smile and the cutest everything, but Rarity had a mature grace about her that was simply alluring. Gesturing to a vacant loveseat opposite the fire, she welcomed us. “Good morning, you two. Dreadfully sorry for not answering the door myself, but I've been feeling a bit under the weather as of late.” Could have fooled me; she looked just as good as ever. Telling her as much drew a casual dismissal from Rarity and a sharp jab to the ribs from Joy. Clearing my throat to cover the grunt of pain from the jab, I continued. “Well, it's true. But, that's not why we're here, Rarity. As I'm sure you know, Joy and I are getting married in the coming fall.” Rarity's eyes lit up, already seeing where this was going. “But of course, Dave. Everypony in town knows by now. Surely, you haven't come solely to regale me with old news?” I smiled a bit, having missed this banter. “Of course not! Perish the thought. We'd actually come with the hopes that you could be persuaded to be our wedding designer.” Looping her arm around mine, Joy interjected. “Really, Rarity. We could think of no pony we would rather have.” Levitating a steaming mug to her hooves, Rarity smiled as she took a sip. Gazing back and forth between Joy and I, her smile broadened. “I would be honored. And, not to seem overzealous, it would seem that I may have drawn up a few measly sketches for just such an occasion.” At this, her horn glowed a pale blue and was met a moment later by a sheath of papers from a nearby table. Without comment, she floated them over to us, spreading them out atop the mahogany coffee table between us. They were simply amazing. Having designed just about every single bit of fancy clothing that I owned, and much of Joy's as well, Rarity had a solid grasp on our style preferences. She ruthlessly exploited this to her advantage, designing the most stunning dresses I had ever seen. Though they were simple and lacking in ornamentation they were elegant beyond measure. Sweeping lines, a hint of lace, and a few ocher accents spoke to a simple sophistication that managed not to look as if it was missing something. Joy and I were simply awestruck, flipping back and forth between the variations Rarity had concocted. I simply could not believe what I was seeing. “Rarity, these are… they're just… “ “Amazing? Ravishing? Splendid?” Rarity supplied. Joy and I both nodded, much to the designer's apparent delight. A few moments of deliberation passed as Joy and I settled on a design for the dress, though a decision was soon reached. Upon showing our selection to the alabaster mare, she nodded knowingly, stating that she'd suspected that this one would catch our fancy. If there was one thing you could say about that mare (aside from how soft she was) it was that she knew her craft well. Joy and I spent the next half hour talking to Rarity about things like accents for the tables, fabric types, even going so far as to rummage through a scrap fabric bin so that Rarity could demonstrate the feel of a certain fabric versus another. Sooner than later, we arrived at the end of our time at the boutique, having answered all of the questions we'd had for the alabaster designer as well as a few besides. When we stood up to leave, Rarity seemed more than a little disappointed, but I swore I'd return soon for another conversation.         Joy shot me a sideways glance for making plans to spend time with Rarity without her, but thankfully did not question it. I needed to get Rarity alone, preferably secluded in the boutique, so I could attempt to convince her to do something that would most likely violate every principle she stood for: I was going to try and get her to make Joy and I matching onesies.         Honestly, I'm not even sure at what point I decided that this was a thing that needed to happen, but while I was rubbing my face against fabric samples I found one that was oh-so-soft. Like, to the point that this shouldn't even be allowed to exist by the laws of nature. Needless to say, I wanted to cover my entire body in this material, so it was a logical (for me) progression to a onesie from there. I could only hope that Rarity wouldn't forcibly remove me from her boutique before I managed to convince her of the merits of the Onesie. I needed a plan...         As I'd been musing to myself, Joy had been leading the way to the door, stopping just long enough to use that cheating unicorn magic to wrap a scarf around her neck and drop a toboggan atop my noggin. It was this sudden warm sensation about my ears that brought me out of my reverie, straight into the perplexed gaze of a certain cerulean mare.         “So Dave, wanna tell me about your plans to visit Rarity?” Though her tone might have been warm, there was a hint of uncertainty in it.         I waved a hoof, trying to put her at ease without ruining the surprise. “Well, she said she was feeling under the weather, so I thought it might be nice to bring her some hot chocolate and  honey tea.” And also to convince her to make some onesies, but Joy didn't need to know that.         Said cerulean mare was eyeing me suspiciously for a moment, before saying “Dave, when did you get so considerate?”         I had to fight the urge to stick out my tongue, the memory of the peppers still enough to make my tongue tingle. “I've been hanging out with you enough, some of it had to have sunk in.”         Smiling and nodding to herself, Joy replied “Huh, I guess that's true. After all, I am pretty amazing.”         This got the both of us chuckling as we stepped out into the cold once more. The sudden transition from the warmth of the boutique to the frigid air outside stole my breath away in the middle of my a chuckle, causing me to cough.         “Are you okay” Joy asked, “or do I need to grab the defibrillator?”         Stifling my coughs, I reassured her. “Yeah, leave it up to me to choke on the cold.”         We wandered through the softly falling snow, making our way in the general direction of Sugarcube Corner as we reveled in the winter wonderland around us. Snaking tendrils of smoke wound skyward from every chimney, as the occupants of each home did their best to ward off the chill outside. Every so often we would pass a window with the curtains open, affording a glance of the lives carrying on within. There were ponies inside, arrayed around the fireplace, engaged in all manner of activities. Some sipped on steaming mugs, while others simply read by the light of the fire. All of this going on inspired in me an intense desire to do the same, to curl up under a blanket with Joy, our hooves warmed by the flames, and lose myself in a good book and a mug of cocoa.         There was just one problem. “Joy, do we have a fireplace?”         She turned to look at me, apparently trying to figure out if I was serious. In all the time I'd spent on or around the couch, I'd never seen a fireplace that I could recall. Finally deciding that my question wasn't rhetorical, Joy answered. “Of course we do, ya goof. How do you think we stay warm? I mean, haven't you ever wondered what's in the bottom half of the book shelf?”         “Bottom.. half?” I had honestly never noticed it, figuring it was a cabinet or something. Apparently, my response was all she needed.         “It figures you wouldn't have. The bottom of the bookshelf is a decorative cover to keep pets, foals, and curious Daves from climbing into the fireplace. Though, it's a good thing you mention it; I'll need your help to prepare it for use.”         I nodded slightly, not even the slightest bit upset that I suddenly had a chore to do today; the thought of cuddling with Joy by the fire saw to that. “Just tell me what needs to be done, dear.”         She smiled coyly at this, replying smugly “Good answer, hun. Listen to your marefriend.”         I was about to reply with a sarcastic remark when my attention was suddenly occupied by a robust snowpony situated on the sidewalk just ahead of us. Something about the pony seemed off, but I couldn't figure out exactly what it was. I drew closer, attempting to puzzle out exactly what it was about this snowpony that seemed so... off. I drew to within about a pace or so of the snowpony before everything got crazy. One second I'm investigating a snowpony, and the next I'm soaring forty meters off the ground and being strangled to death by a pink monster.         Pink.         Why is that so familiar? What is this noise in my ears? Why do I taste cotton candy?         The answer to the last three came at the same time, as a pair of blue eyes appeared suddenly in the mass of pink in front of me. “DAVE!” came the enthusiastic greeting.         “Uh, hello Pinkie” is what I meant to say, but I somehow had a mouthful of cotton candy, so what actually came out was more along the lines of “uh, hrflo prrkur.”         “Don't talk with your mouth full, silly, unless it's full of words! In that case, talk all you want to get the words out!”         My head was spinning, partially due to the proximity of the Pinkness, and also probably slightly having something to do with the iron grip she had around my neck. Hoo boy, if I don't land soon, I might end up back on the ground with a lot more speed than I'd prefer. I angled myself towards the ground and descended rapidly, racing the darkness creeping in around the edges of my vision. Braking suddenly just before I hit the ground, I succeeded in dislodging Pinkie from around my neck. Well, mostly. As my head spun in the inrush of oxygen, I noticed that I still had cotton candy in my mouth, cotton candy that appeared to be connected to the back of Pinkie's head.         That's... unpleasant. Gingerly spitting out the end of her mane, I turned to look for the mare that had accompanied me prior to my unplanned flight. I looked to the place that I expected to find her, but the only thing there was a snowpony. A somewhat familiar looking snow pony. A snow pony that looked a lot like...         The 'snow pony' opened its eyes, fixing me with a very unhappy looking pair of blue eyes. ”Heh... Hey there, Joy. How you doin'?”         The snow pony enveloped itself in a blue glow, sloughing off the snow that had caked around it. Once Joy had fully extricated herself of the snow-suit, she gathered the snow into a large ball and unceremoniously dumped it on my head. She sighed, saying that she was “feeling much better” now. Yeah, I bet.         Shaking myself free of snow, I found that Pinkie had joined us at some point. “Hey Dave and Joy, you should have seen the looks on your faces when I popped out of the snowpony, you were all like 'aahh!' and it was great. But then you flew away while I was hugging you and started talking with your mouth full but now it's better because we're all here again.”         How she said all of that in a single breath, I'll never know. But, it did manage to explain a few things. She scared the bejeezus out of me by sneak-hugging me, causing me to rocket into the sky. A wise guy once said 'for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction', and this is apparently still true in Ponyville. Where I had been standing just prior to my launch, there was a circle about five meters in diameter that had been swept clean of snow. At the edge of this circle was a less-than-amused Joy. Heh. Oops.         Not even two minutes later, we were all seated in Sugarcube Corner sipping on hot cider. Mrs. Cake joined us shortly thereafter, carrying a brochure of cake and cupcake designs. After the eventful introduction, it was both odd and refreshing to see the Pink one sitting still, though apparently at great personal effort. Whenever she would get a little too fidgety, Mrs. Cake would clear her throat slightly and Pinkie would settle down. I found this a little odd but didn't question it, remembering the talking-to I'd received the last time I'd tried.         Oddity aside, Calm-Pinkie was actually tremendously helpful when it came to picking out the cake and snacks for the wedding. In less than an hour we were able to make arrangements for the catering and for the cake, both of which were offered at a sizeable discount. Even with the discount, though, it was not an insignificant sum of bits by any stretch of the imagination.I wondered how we would pay for all of this, and resolved to figure it out. Later. Future Dave could handle it, probably.         Soon enough, Joy and I were gathering our winter gear once again, though this time the destination was home and a nice warm fire. As Joy was wrapping her scarf on her neck, she sneezed. It was adorable, such a high pitch and dainty sound it made you want to hug something. Joy, on the other hoof, looked positively crestfallen.         “What's wrong, dear?” I asked.         With a sniffle, she looked up at me with the saddest little puppy dog eyes I'd ever witnessed. “I think I'm getting a cold.”         My heart melted a little bit at that, but it also made  me a bit concerned. Our house was on the opposite side of town, and the snow hadn't showed any signs of slowing. I didn't want her to get any sicker, but it wasn't like I had a blanket growing out of my... oh. Hello, wings.         Stepping into the cold for the last time, we set off for home as I draped a wing over Joy and pulled her into my side. She blushed a little bit at being 'under my wing', but smiled at me nonetheless, offering thanks as she snuggled closer to me.         The weather pegasi must have put in overtime, as the gently falling snow began to come down harder, driven by a frigid wind. What had started off the day as a gentle snow fall was rapidly building into a serious winter storm. We turned onto our street just in time, as the visibility began to drop precariously. From a kilometer, down to half, and now down to less than fifty meters, the visible world was getting smaller by the minute. Walking in the front door, we closed it behind us and shook the snow from our bodies as we doffed our hats and scarves. Hanging it all up by the door to dry with her cheating unicorn magic, Joy set off into the living room, visibly shivering.         Next time I saw Dash, or any of the other weather pegasi for that matter, I was going to give them a piece of my mind about this storm. They were supposed to send out warning notices prior to scheduling anything stronger than an afternoon shower.         Climbing into bed and cocooning herself in blankets, I heard Joy sigh deeply. As adorable as this was, I needed her help. “Joy? I need help setting up the fireplace, sweetie.”         A muffled groan was her only reply. Maybe she just needed to warm up a little bit first. In the meantime, I decided to investigate the bottom of the bookshelf to see if I could puzzle out the inner workings of it. It was an ornamental piece of wood, showcasing beautiful grain patterns and detailed carving around the edges, with a pair of drawers set side by side. I pulled gently on one of the 'drawer' handles, and found that the entire front of the cabinet moved. Pulling a little harder, I was able to pull off the cover entirely, exposing a deep-set brick fireplace big enough for me to climb inside of. So, naturally, that was the first thing I did. Officially, I was looking for the lever to open the flue so we didn't all die during the night. Unofficially, I had always wanted to do this but always had people tell me not to.         The clearing of a throat behind me caused me to start, bumping my head as I did so. sonuva...that hurt. Turning around, I saw it was Joy that had startled me, peering adorably over the edge of the couch. I gingerly extricated myself from the fireplace, rubbing my head and taking extra care not to hit it again. She just shook her head, smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back, walking over to her for a quick peck on the lips.         Kissing accomplished, Joy took a moment to instruct me on the proper operation of the wood chute, which was built into the false bottom of yet another bookshelf. At this point, I was beginning to wonder what other mysteries the bookshelves contained. I muttered to nopony in particular that I'd have to investigate my surroundings more thoroughly in the future. At the moment though, I had more pressing issues. It would seem that there was a log jam in the wood chute, seeing as how the wood chute was devoid of wood. Against Joy's advice, I stuck my head into the chute to see if I could spot the blockage and managed to stick it directly into a cobweb.         What followed was a  series of yelps, karate chops, and violent flailings as I attempted to dislodge the spiders from my mane. Joy, bless her heart, was rendered completely and utterly unable to help, on account of her laughing too hard to breathe and all. I eventually chased all of the spiders from my mane and focused instead on calming my racing heart; Joy was doing something similar as she tried her best to stifle her laughter. After some time, we were both successful.         “Okay, now that you've collected yourself, would you mind lending me a hoof to handle this wood stoppage?”         No sooner had the words left my mouth than I knew I'd goofed. Joy, who'd barely managed to get herself back under control, once again lapsed into laughter, interspersed with her attempting to sputter 'that's what she said'. Sighing, I resigned myself to wait until she'd gotten herself back under control. Once she'd gotten herself back under control, I asked the question again, though in a less suggestive manner.         “Let's try this again. Joy, can you help me remedy the feed issue? And also show me where the chimney flue lever is?”         Wiping a final tear from her eye, Joy offered her assistance. “I can tell you where it is, but you'll have to be the one to actually fix it. It needs to be done from outside, and I'm not going back out into the cold if I can help it.”         I nodded, every bit as eager to keep her out of the cold as she was to stay inside. “Sure, not a problem. I'm a bit more resistant to cold than you are, anyways. What do I need to do?”         Joy proceeded to explain the location of the wood chute opening (on the side of the chimney, to the right, under the flappy-thing) and how to open the flue (pull on it, ya goof), and sent me on my merry way. Stepping out into the storm, it was immediately clear that the weather had deteriorated significantly in the last half hour. Despite my resistance to cold, the wind cut straight to the bone, driving home a chill the likes of which I'd never known possible.         I hurried along, very eager to get back inside before I became a snow pony myself. Sticking to the side of the building, I navigated around the side of the house to where the chimney was. Snow was piled up chest deep in drifts against the house, making it difficult to move with any measure of swiftness. Interestingly enough, the snow was actually warmer than the environment around it, blocking most of the wind. This led me to huddle down so that only my head poked out of the snow, like a periscope. Reaching the chimney, I stood up and reached for the feed chute on the side. I opened it, trying to see down into the chute to try and see if I could see the blockage.         Looking down, all I could see was the wood that was piled on top of whatever was causing the blockage. Growing increasingly frustrated and cold by the minute, I elected to remedy the feed issue the best way I knew how: with a liberal application of force. I jumped, giving my wings a little half-flap for some extra height, before crashing down full force into the wood chute. This was successful in two things; first, I cleared the blockage and sent the wood tumbling down into the chute. Second, I found my happy ass firmly lodged in the opening of the chute.         Welp, this is how I die. Ass frozen in a wood chute. This is not how I wanted to go.         I was struck by a sudden thought, likely fueled by my imminent demise. Ah, crap. I'm not allowed to die, Joy would kill me. Well, I guess I was going to have to figure a way out of this. Luckily, I happened to have these kick-ass appendages called wings, whose specialty was pulling in an up-facing vector. Using those to my advantage, and with no small amount of wiggling and cursing, I managed to pop myself out of the chute. And I do mean 'pop' in the literal term, because I burst free with a sound not unlike an uncorked bottle.         Even as I was celebrating my triumph over imminent demise, I hear a sound that drove the chill into my bones anew. Somewhere, in the swirling mass of clouds above me, there arose an unholy shriek, the sound of the damned; of despair and of loss. This call was answered by one, and then a chorus of answering shrieks. I could swear I saw ghostly shapes melting into and out of the clouds above me, the ghostly shrieks following them closely.         I had no idea what those things were, and I had even less intention of staying to find out. I would have left right then, but I still needed to open the flue cover on the chimney. Swearing, I flew to the top of the chimney, reluctant to get any closer to the apparitions than necessary. Reaching the top of the chimney, I knocked away the accumulated snow as I searched for the lever that would open the vents. I spotted the lever at the same time as a shriek rang out from overhead, longer and seemingly angrier than the ones preceding it. Looking up proved to be a mistake, as I made eye contact with the source of the sound.         The ghostly blue apparition was hovering directly overhead, about thirty meters above me, and was staring directly at me. As soon as eye contact was made it shrieked again, several others descending from the clouds to join it.         Oh, fuck that.         I kicked out at the lever, jarring it to the fully open position as the creatures began their descent. I tore away from the chimney towards the front of the house as fast as I could, covering the distance in the blink of an eye. I slammed into the ground in front of the door, landing roughly on my hooves as I tore open the door and stumbled inside. Slamming the door behind me, I leaped away from the frame just in time to see tendrils of frost beginning to seep in through the edges. I ran to the living room to check on Joy and to start the fire, somehow convinced that fire would drive away these unholy creatures.         Joy was looking towards the hallway with curiosity as I came bursting out of it, making a beeline to the fireplace. I grabbed a couple of the logs and tossed them into the fireplace, stacking them in a very rough triangular form. “Fire!” I yelled, “I need fire!”         Joy's expression had gone from one of curiosity to one of concern very quickly, her horn lighting up with a soft glow as she floated some matches out of a nearby drawer, along with some rolled up newspaper for kindling. In one swift motion she placed the tinder and struck a match, holding it to the end of the paper until a small flame caught. I leaned in close, gently blowing on the fire to fan the flames. The fire was spreading, but not quickly enough. Looking past Joy, I could see frost creeping in from the hallway.         Seeing the look on my face, Joy turned to investigate the source of my concern, yelping in fright as she caught sight of the spreading ice. Jumping up from the couch, still wrapped in the blanket-burrito, she fell and rolled to my side. I turned my back on the spreading ice, redoubling my effort to get the fire going. The fire was beginning to catch on the logs, and I began to fan the flames with my wings. Apparently, the inherent magic in my horsefeathers means that I can manipulate fire, because as soon as I began to use my wings the fire spread faster than was natural. Encouraged by my success, I fanned harder and harder, sending the flames higher with each stroke of my wings.         So focused was I on fanning the flames, I almost didn't hear Joy as she called my name. The note of panic in her voice cut through the fog in my mind, and I immediately turned to look at her. While I'd been tending to the fore, the frost had spread throughout the living room, from the floor to the ceiling and across all of the walls, stopping only when it got within a few meters of the fire. Joy was cuddled at my side, a ring of frost held at bay by the now roaring fire.         I didn't know what this frost was or where it came from, but I would be damned if I let it get to Joy without going through me first. Without really thinking about it, I pulled Joy closer to the fire, placing myself between the mare I loved and the encroaching demon frost. I wrapped my wings around her, promising her that it would be alright, and praying that she couldn't tell that I was lying through my teeth out of fear. Any second, I expected to feel the bite of cold in my extremities as the frost overtook me.         Except, the bite never came. Joy nuzzled into my neck, whispering “it's over” again and again.         Trying to be strong in the face of the unknown, I held her tighter and told her that we would be alright.         Her response threw me off a little bit, as she said “I know, it's over now.”         Opening eyes I didn't recall closing, I looked back towards the hallway to see how far the frost had encroached, expecting to see a yeti or something approaching from the doorway. Instead, I saw the frost retreating before my eyes. Even as I watched it, the frost receded back from whence it came, taking the damnable shrieking with it as it faded. We both let out a breath we didn't know we had been holding.         “What in the flying purple hell was that?” I asked Joy. She simply shook her head, nearly as clueless as I was. We stared back towards the hallway, expecting the frost to return at any moment, though it never did. Finally satisfied that the ordeal was over, we relocated ourselves to the couch, snuggled under the blanket together, and settled in for the night as the fire crackled peacefully at our hooves.         I would come to learn in the coming days that the ghostly creatures I saw that day were windigoes, drawn down from the frigid reaches of the upper atmosphere by a sudden winter storm. These creatures feed on anger and fear, on strife and discord, and are drawn to it like moths to flame. They bring with them a cold that seeps into your very bones, extinguishing all light and happiness with its frigid kiss.         Had I known then what I know now, I could have seen this for what it was; not just a freak occurrence or a rogue weather pattern, but an ill omen, a portent of the coming storm that was to shake my life down to its very foundation. But I didn't know what was coming, could never have foreseen the challenges I'd face in the years ahead. Sometimes I sit and wonder what I might have done differently if I'd known. How many tears could I have saved? How much suffering could I have prevented?         No matter how many times I think about it, I reach the same conclusion: It doesn't matter, because what's done is done and nopony can change the past. Still, what I wouldn't give to go back in time and warn myself...