Flammen Woofer

by Croabadrake


Chapter One: An Overgod's Mistake

She did not hear that the clicking of the doorknob failed to complete... she continued on her way to her break room. Perhaps it was because her hoofsteps echoed so loudly against the pure white walls and ceiling, emanating from the contact of her pure white hooves and the pure white floor.

This place was very white. Just like her. But in any case, white or black, stone or glass, she did not hear that the door to her personal workstation did not close completely and thus swung slowly, silently back open inwards. Fate continued on her way through the hallway beyond -- she'd been working for several days straight just before now on something that might allow her to expand the universe in a stable manner for once... she felt she deserved a break, a short time to spend looking at some of her favorite past creations and having a cup of coffee or something. Bunnies were one such favorite creation.

A few moments passed.
And then a few more.

Something poked its head around the corner from the end of the hallway, looking back down to the workstation.The open door in. The opportunity.

A smile widened across the stranger's face... he looked around another moment to make sure that Fate was not about to walk through another door into the room, and then he crept quickly down the hallway in a hunched, tip-toeing fashion. That was, after all, the best way to go unnoticed as one moves covertly.

A few seconds later, he stood at the door. And then he went through it, thinking it best not to linger in open sight to gawk at the fact he'd made it this far. As he closed the door and made sure it clicked, he silently wondered how Fate did not know he was here yet... maybe she did, and didn't care. No... no, a being of her status wouldn't allow someone like him in.

He stood back and watched the doorway for a few seconds, half-expecting it to burst inwards with an angry goddess on the other side at any moment... but nothing happened. Slowly, a giggle formed in his chest and then broke out of his mouth. He laughed for several moments, not particularly caring as to whether the door could block the sound or not -- he simply had to laugh.

A moment later, he calmed down. He took a few deep breaths, and then turned to the only object in the relatively large room.

This object was a panel of sorts... held at about his midsection's height by a few supports, honestly looking about like a small table or a lectern. He moved forwards and stood in front of its tilted top, and ran his hand over the surface. The entirety of said surface immediately tinged blue, white symbols and shapes appearing on it. He smiled.

"...just... like... how the ones... I used to work with!" he said slowly and aloud. "This will be a cinch!"

He paused for a moment.

"...now that I'm this far, I just have to think of something to do with what I have. I didn't plan for success..."

He spent several more moments thinking to himself, running through the possibilities... eventually coming to the conclusion that they were endless. What he was looking at was the Dedicated Everything's Basics Utilization Grid... a console that could alter the very fabric of reality in the world Fate had helped create -- a world known as Equestria.

"......I can do anything..." he said to himself aloud, having already said it to himself several times in his head. "Anything... anything at all. Delete everything from existence, or perhaps delete the memory of one half of it from all sentient beings in the other... mirror everything, make trees grow when set on fire..."

His eyes widened. "Fire! Fire, I have to do something with fire!" he proclaimed excitedly. "Yes, fire! But... but what? Ohhh, now there's multiple steps to what I didn't plan to plan for..."

He spent another few moments thinking. Fate was taking a really long break... what was she working on? He looked over the various symbols and traced his finger from a corner to a certain one, a large sheet of new symbols overtaking everything.

"...expanding the universe? Bleh... I could delete that...! ...no... no, she'll be angry enough I'm in here, I don't need to give her reason to try and delete me," he said. "...besides, that wouldn't have anything to do with fire. I'm like a dog that's chased cars for months but has no idea what to do when he catches one!" he said, throwing his hands into the air.

He remained in this position as an idea clicked in his head. He slowly curled his hands into fists before shaking them a little bit.

"YES!" he cried triumphantly. "YES! THAT is what I shall do!"

He then immediately went back to messing with the console, closing down the opened plans and fiddling around until he got to an array indicating basic elements... atoms and their components. He shook his head -- he wanted to make this a challenge for himself, but he wasn't going to go so far as working with the atoms... that would take ages. Instead, he panned the view up until he had more complex elements... ones recognizable to most normal people, such as earth, air, metal, plants, etc.

A few seconds later, he came to a conclusion -- fire was not on here for some reason.

"Curseeees..." he mumbled to himself. "What now? Why would fire not even be.... no wait...... I... aha!"

He spun the view around until he had a page full of non-standard elements. Talking, flying, sticks, tape, wires... things that didn't even make sense as elements, really. He smiled and begin to grab certain symbols as he spoke to himself, copies of the grabbed symbols rising into his hand from the screen.

"Dash of mumbles... no, more mumbles. A few more, yes, that's plenty of mumbles. Let's see.... eh... ah, energy... straightforwardness... direction? No, we don't need direction... doodling? Why am I even contemplating these? Energy, mumbles, straightforwardness, hunger, and lots of heat. There!"

He slammed his palms together, the symbols in between. When he reopened them, a single symbol remained -- Fire.

"Dash of wind and breath..." he said, adding the new elements. "...fire breath...!" he finished with a whisper.

The stranger closed down the elements array and spoke aloud as he began on a new task, still holding his Fire Breath element.

"...entities... yes, entities, living things... by species... not that specific, no, by-- ah! Common-name species...... dogs."

He grinned as he looked over the massive list that came up with the final action.

"......Ohhhhhh myyyyy..........!"