The ride into town is peaceful and quiet. I'll assume that witnessing a wrinkly old alien crying maybe… sort of… killed any conversation that might have occurred. I don't mind though. I'm just enjoying being under Celestia's warm sun and breathing in the fresh air after being cooped in that sterile hospital for so long, even if the wheelchair ride is a bit bumpy along this dirt road. I'm not complaining, in fact, I'm savoring every moment.
My lovely escorts keep a leisurely pace, taking turns pushing me down the path to Ponyville. Humble suburban houses pass us by; green, well-kempt lawns and white picket fences. Twilight still looks distant, I'll really need to talk to her as soon as possible. It seems like her friends haven't really noticed, or maybe they're merely shrugging off her mood as something that will pass. The rest of them look merry enough, with the possible exception of Rainbow Dash. She's lazily flapping along, her head and hooves dangling in the air as she moves, looking bored as all hell.
Very few ponies are milling about out here… look! That powder blue earth pony is mowing his lawn with one of those old fashioned push mowers! He takes a break from his chore to watch us pass. He wipes the sweat from his brow, and runs a hoof through his salt and pepper mane. This stallion is not too sure what to make of what he's seeing, but he's still very passive about it. Further down the road, we get a few weird looks, but nothing too bad. It's a huge relief to know that I'm not frightening anypony. Then again, word of my existence has probably spread around the whole town by now.
Oh hey look, it's Time Turner, er, Dr. Whooves, the local watchmaker– wait a minute. I don't recall if we ever actually cataloged him as one of the confirmed ponies in this town. Hm. Well anyhow, he's just casually sitting in the shade beneath a tree next to the road.
He greets us with a casual wave as we pass by. "Afternoon ladies."
A slight British (Trottingham? –ish?) accent is obvious in his voice. And what's this? He's not looking at me funny. Not by a long shot. In fact, he's locked eyes with me and he's smiling as if-
He winks at me.
He winked at me! The kind of wink that signifies an unspoken truth, a secret perhaps, shared between two people. Something that only the two of us, two entirely different beings from two entirely different worlds, are privy to.
This can mean only one thing!
The unassuming, spiky-haired, hourglass cutie mark, chestnut stallion is the real, genuine, actual time lord!
Oh no! That also means he must know what I did! I mean, ripping open a hole between dimensions is probably some horrible atrocity that'll bring about the apocalypse! Or… alter a fixed point in time… or… maybe weaken the walls of this dimension and… cyberponies will try to take over Equestria? Or something… like that. Daleks? I dunno.
I glance back at him just as we pass him by. He's still smiling warmly and gently, eyes locked with mine once more. Smiling. Definitely smiling at me specifically. Like the cat that ate the canary. He knows something. And he knows I know something. Well, whatever I did can't be all that bad, given that he's not scowling at me in his silent time lord rage. If there's a problem, I'm sure the good doctor will let me know about it in due time.
But hey, he's the damn Doctor! Maybe he'll let me see his blue box!
This is so exciting! I've spent decades learning, memorizing, scrutinizing every detail about every little scrap of information we collected from this world, and despite that, it can still surprise me! I have a strange craving for excitement right now. I'm in Ponyville for crying out loud! This is it, I'm living the dream! I want to do something… risky. Foolish. Stupid. Something that'll make me feel young again!
I turn to my left, where the rainbow pegasus is suspended limply in the air by her barely-flapping wings. "Hey Dashie!" I snap her out of her boredom trance and she lazily lifts her head to meet my gaze. "I bet you can't push me into town in ten seconds flat!"
She perks up instantly. "Is that a challenge?!" She puffs out her chest and puts her forehooves on her sides.
"You bet your flank it is!" I retort, with a little shake of my cane in her direction.
"You're ON!" She narrows her eyes and points a hoof at me.
Dashie zips behind me and rips the wheelchair out of Twilight's magical grip, much to her dismay.
"Rainbow what're you-"
"I hope you're ready for a ride, old timer!" She says right into my ear as I hear her wings starting to flap rapidly.
Her head is right next to mine, she's taking a firm grip of the chair handles in her forelegs. I clutch the armrests of the chair and try to steady my breathing. Suddenly the landscape in front of me is rapidly approaching! The rest of the girls start yelling incomprehensible pleas, and neither of us care as they fade out behind us. We're flying into town! Literally I think! The dirt road whizzes beneath me but I'm not being jostled by any of the bumps!
Dashie breathes heavily into my ear, the regulated breathing of a true athlete. I might happen to lean just a little bit closer to her…
Everything becomes a big blur all around me, I can't even focus my vision looking forward, we're going around so many curves anyway, nothing's staying straight. My stomach becomes unsettled, it groans and gripes at me, feels sour, threatens to upchuck my lunch. My eyes water from the wind, I think I caught a bug in my teeth, and a sharp pain rings in my ears from all the air passing by.
But damn. I feel alive.
For the first time since… Celestia, I don't even know how long it's been…
Pony suburbia is left in our dust. Bigger buildings packed closer together start whizzing past us. The wind, blowing through what's left of my hair, gradually slows and an all-too-familiar big round building slowly comes into view up ahead. I hear Dashie's wings stop flapping altogether as she glides us to a halt right in front of town hall.
She zips over in front of me, smugly hovering in mid air with her forelegs out to the sides, as if to display town hall. "Ten. Seconds. Flat." She crosses her forelegs, smiling at me like she just won a bet.
I try to catch my breath, "It… sure… was!"
"Y'know, you're pretty cool for an old timer," she smirks at me.
Rainbow alights on the dirt road and casually looks around, seemingly impatient that her friends are running so far behind us. Our little joy ride, awesome as it was, hasn't left me too worse for wear, my breath comes back quickly, and my stomach starts to settle. I can take a moment to look around while Dashie impatiently taps a hoof on the ground, then checks a nonexistent watch on her wrist.
Of course, the imposing figure of town hall looms over me. A perfectly round wooden structure, its quality craftsponyship and attention to detail are obvious even from a distance. Artful designs are carved into every wood trimming on the place, and the paint renders the whole thing bright and colorful.
A look around reminds me that town hall sports some unique architecture in this neighborhood. The rest of the buildings are far more organic in their shapes, Tudor in design, and almost universally capped with thatched roofs. I wonder if ponies ever get the urge to nibble on a roof...
It's almost a little disorienting being around such organic shapes. I feel like I'm used to everything being perfectly square. Sure, I've been cooped up for a couple weeks in a hospital where the only thing that wasn't square was a few patterns painted on the walls, but back in my home world, for as long as I can remember, every inch of civilization was… square. Concrete blocks, glass walls, the best thing you could hope for to break the uniformity, the unending monotony, was perhaps a wall sitting at an odd angle. A wall of a building that's curved into a cylindrical shape. That's about it. These buildings, well aside from town hall anyhow, seem so natural. They look as if they've grown out of the ground itself, rather than being constructed on top of it. Seeing these houses that aren't perfectly in line with each other, that have bending roofs and curved walls, abstract shapes… it feels… odd. A good kind of odd though. A refreshing odd. I'll have to ask Twilight about the whimsical architecture some time.
I hear hooves galloping behind me.
I turn around in my wheelchair and see familiar faces running my way. Twilight messily skids to a halt next to me.
"Dane…" she's out of breath, "are you alright?"
"Never better!" I gleefully respond with a slight shrug.
Rarity gracefully trots up on the other side. "Rainbow that was terribly irresponsible of you."
"Hey, he asked me to!" Dashie defends herself, pointing the blame at me with a hoof.
"Ya got me," I admit with a sly smirk, "I sure did."
"Hmph, now I'm all sweaty. I'll have to take a bath before the party," Rarity complains, not whines.
"Hey Twilight, since you're here," I look to the poor pooped-out purple pony whose tongue is hanging out of her mouth as she tries to catch her breath after that sprint, "Why exactly are most of the houses in Ponyville so… not square? Is it just an architectural style, or…?"
She gives me the most confused look of confusion I've seen in quite a long time, that question must look like it came totally out of left field. "Wha…? I… uh…" She scratches her head and looks at the ground in thought. "Something about there being very little straight timber in the forest? I think? Where did that question come from anyway?"
"Oh, you know, I just had a lot of time to admire the scenery while you gals were catching up to us, right Rainbow?" I turn and wink at Rainbow.
She chuckles, "Yeah, what took ya?"
"Well what with Dash's little stunt, I reckon we got some time to show Dane around town now," AJ remarks with a little smirk.
"Oh good, let's stop by Carousel Boutique then, shall we?"
"OOOH! Let's show him Sugar Cube Corner too!" Pinkie chimes in, hopping around us in a circle.
"I don't see why not," Twilight says with a sigh.
My heart flutters at the mention of the two landmarks. Oh, how I've waited for this day…
"Good a place to start as any, I s'pose. This here's Ponyville's Town Hall," Applejack gestures toward the familiar building.
"How's the roof?" I ask slyly.
"Why it's…" AJ pauses and looks at me with her eyebrows knit together. "It's just fine and dandy, now that we got 'er all fixed up," she finishes, still eyeing me suspiciously.
Fluttershy takes her turn pushing me, and my seat starts slowly moving. I turn around and smile at her. She looks away so that a bit of her mane falls out of place and covers her eyes from me. She gently replaces the stray lock of hair with a hoof. Flutters still seems a little bit unsure, but I'm sure she'll warm up to me soon. Dashie is back to lazily hovering around again, but she's still much more peppy now than she was before.
We go around town hall slightly, passing a fountain.
"And this here's Buckingham Fountain," AJ points out.
I can't help but chuckle at the name, both for its inherent pony pun and because I'm a native Chicagoan. My laughter confuses all of them, but they let it slide, taking no offense from it.
We enter a thoroughfare branching off from the open area encompassing town hall. The signpost marking the street name leaves me snickering, 'Stirrup St.' Pony puns just don't get old, it seems. Humble Tudor-esque homes pass us by as we leisurely stroll down the road. It's a beautiful sight to see, as though it were meant to be in some old painting. The dirt road is worn in the middle, where so many ponies must walk, so it slopes slightly upward to the buildings on either side, where some stray grass and flowers grow wild around the edges of the houses and shops. The right side of the street is dimmed by shadow, while the left is still bathed in the brilliant late-afternoon sunlight, glinting off the window panes. Signs hang from the shops, moving slightly to and fro in the gentle breeze, advertising their shops' wares and services. Hay's Hardware, some accountant's office, a farm supply store, I can't help but smile at this one: Quills and Sofas. But for what the signs can tell me, my nose can tell me even more. A breeze brings me a strong whiff of flowers before I spot Flower Sisters' Floral, the sweet smell of cocoa foretells the appearance of Bon Bon's Confectionary, and finally, though I cannot yet see it, the buttery scent of freshly baked bread could only be–
As we round a corner, I see it.
We all stop to admire what must be one of the town's prized landmarks. While it's not exactly a life-sized gingerbread house, it sure does give the impression of one at first glance. With round gingerbread cookies for roof shingles, icing and gumdrops around the edges, candy canes around the front door, that top floor that looks exactly like a cupcake with candles stuck in it… that odd pony silhouette holding a candy cane… is that a weather vane? Yessir, Sugar Cube Corner is quite the sight to behold.
"Weeeeeeell? What d'ya think?" Pinkie steps into my field of view and grins at me like a maniac. "This is Sugar Cube Corner! This is where I work! And where I live too! I live upstairs in the cupcake part! Teehee! I live in a cupcake! And when I'm working here it doesn't even feel like work most of the time because I love baking but also because I'm super duper close with Mr. and Mrs. Cake it's like we're one big family! I get to play with their foals–"
She's rambling in classic Pinkie Pie style, tuning her out just a tad. "It's certainly a sight to see, I'll give it that," I say more so to the others than to the still-talking party pony.
"Pinkie Pie!" Applejack practically shouts to get her attention, "We don't have that much time sugar cube, we need to get goin'."
"Oh, silly Applejack! It's only five o'clock!" In the distance, a bell tolls. "See? We still have half an hour!" Pinkie starts casually bouncing (as casually as one can bounce) off in the direction I assume we'll be headed.
The bell rings four more times. I guess it is five o'clock.
AJ takes a turn pushing me down the road, and suddenly I'm admiring the scenery again. I can't help but think something's missing, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh well. Not much special appears down this road, though the place is still quiet and serene. Too quiet, now that I think about it… I would have imagined this town being a little more warm and inviting, but the farther we go the more uncomfortable I feel. There's just something missing–
Wait, not some thing. Some pony. Several someponies, the place is empty! No wonder I feel uneasy, Ponyville, what I know to be a lively place, looks like a ghost town!
Where IS everypony?!
"Hey Pinkie! Where the hay is everypony?" I ask.
"I dunno!" She answers gleefully.
I smack my face into my palm. Wrong pony to ask.
"Hey Dashie, why's the town so empty today?" I ask.
"Beats me," she shrugs indifferently.
I just sigh.
"Hey Twi- Twilight are you ok?"
The poor mare looks positively downtrodden, but she perks up a little when I call her. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine."
"You don't… look fine," I say, not really sure what more to say…
"I'm just thinking, that's all."
While not an outright lie, she's definitely dodging the question.
"Yes darling, what's on your mind today that's got you thinking so much?" Rarity chimes in.
"Ya know ya got your friends to talk to if need be, right Twi?" AJ earnestly adds.
By now we've all stopped moving and everyone's looking at Twilight.
"I- I know. I know. I'll uh, well I just need to think about this on my own for a bit. That's all." Twilight locks eyes with me for just the briefest of moments, but in that split second, I feel a jab to my heart. For her little face just expressed so much pain and worry, and I have seen that face before. But not on her. She quickly irons out her facial features, making a strong face for her friends' sake.
I can't help but wonder if our little conversation is starting to come back to her, or if perhaps she never forgot it at all. Spike said she had been acting funny for several days prior, I wonder if this is how she was.
"Twilight," I grab her attention, but I have no idea what I can say that will help. I know what she's going through, and there are no words that can just magically make it better. Oh, how I wish there were. How I wish I could just take it back, make it better. But even after she gets past this, it will remain in her mind, a scar on her soul that will never heal. I should know, I have that same scar. I was a fool. I should never have told her. I should have lied through my teeth, to her, to all of them. And now, here I am, trying fix a problem that I created with only a handful of words, when I know it will take weeks of comforting and reassurance to just begin the repairs. Not to mention that I'd rather not draw this out in front of the rest of the girls, in public (even abandoned as it is out here), and it seems like Twilight feels the exact same way. "I know what you're going through. We'll talk about it, ok?" I say, as sincerely as I can. I suppose the least I can do is reassure her that I'm here for her. "I'm here for you, Twi."
She only nods absentmindedly.
We continue down the road, turning a couple times at intersections. The girls remain quietly concerned about Twilight's somber mood, and they continue to occasionally reassure her that they're all willing to listen to whatever problems she may be having, clearly having learned their lesson from last time.
But every time they prod her, she shrugs it off. Insisting that it's something she must deal with herself. I can only sit in my wheelchair in thoughtful silence. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unable to ease her mental suffering without involving the others, unable to do anything but sit in this damn chair and get carted around by her oblivious friends. But, quite frankly, I'm amazed she's taking it this well. She has a strong will, that Twilight. Sure she had the panic attack of the century about it already, just like I did, but afterwards she's still soldiering onward. Me, I was an absolute train wreck for weeks.
Perhaps this is her way of coping. Deep thought. I suppose that makes sense, she's a bright one, that Twilight, she probably needs to think on it and come to her own conclusions. Yeah. That's it. She'll just think it over, and talk to me about it when she's good and ready.
"We're he~re!"
Rarity's sing song voice snaps me out of my reverie.
"Well, Mr. Dane, this is my establishment. What do you think?" She smiles a smug little smile as she canters towards the door of…
"Carousel Boutique. Where everything is chique, unique, and manifique," I recite with half a smile.
"Oooh, very good, Mr. Dane. Very good!"
We all enter Rarity's home –slash– business, pony mannequins and all that jive, but I can't find it in me to even care about my surroundings. Just Twilight.
"Are you worried about Twilight?" Fluttershy suddenly asks me.
I look at her, "…Yeah. I am."
"Well I'm sure whatever is bothering her, she will figure out on her own," she finishes with a sweet little smile.
"How can you be sure of that? What about that one time, with the… you know…" I lean in close for a whisper, "that doll she enchanted and made the whole town go cuckoo over it?"
"Oh." She looks curiously surprised. "How did you know about that?"
"Not important," I say with the wave of a hand. "She went nuts, remember?"
"Beg pardon, sugar cube," AJ steps next to Fluttershy. "But Twi only went a little loony 'cuz we weren't payin' her troubles no mind."
"A little?" Dash remarks.
Applejack glances over to Twilight, who's idly sitting on Rarity's red velvet fainting couch. "She didn't ask us for help this time. I reckon she's got her reasons not to. No sense in tryin' to pry it from her."
"I suppose." Even if those 'reasons' were that her conundrum was something so shaking and confusing that she'd rather spare her friends from the same suffering she's going through.
"C'mon now, Twi will talk about it when she's good 'n ready. Let's see what Rarity's got cooked up for you."
"Yeah, let's see how frilly it is!" Dashie teases merrily.
"Maybe I should go talk to Twi…"
"Oh, Mr. Da~ne!" Rarity calls me from a doorway in the back. "Your ensemble is ready!"
"Uh, just a minute Miss Rarity!"
"Nonsense darling, we haven't much time." She trots over and starts pushing me towards the back room.
"But, but… Twilight…"
"Oh, don't worry. I'm certain the party will cheer her right up! And if not, Pinkie will."
I quickly glance around, "Speaking of Pinkie, where did she get off to?"
"I believe she had something or other to attend to. Not to worry, she'll be back before you know it."
"Oh, alright…" I give up.
AJ, Fluttershy, and Dashie make to follow us through the door.
"Ah, ah, ah! You three can wait outside. Mr. Dane doesn't like being watched whilst he dresses." Rarity insists, rather condescendingly. She closes the door on her friends, and whispers to me, "Besides, watching the model dress tends to have a negative effect on the presentation of the ensemble." She winks at me.
Having been already outfitted, by Rarity, with a shirt and a pair of slacks, she now presents me with a suit coat and necktie.
The coat looks as magnificent as the pants I'm already wearing. The same light peach color, with a few tasteful accents, swirly lines done in a dark brown. One button, hmm, again a blue gem in the shape of her cutie mark, set in gold.
The necktie is a medium blue silk thing, patterned with very elaborate swirly lines of white and darker blue, with a very ornate design as the centerpiece… three blue diamonds. What a surprise.
I'm starting to see a trend here.
I give her a sly smirk. I think she catches its meaning. I'm going to be a walking billboard for her business. And I know it. And I know she knows I know. But with this level of quality, for free on top of that, I'm perfectly ok with this. "Rarity, this outfit is absolutely magnificent," I say, unable to wipe the smirk from my face, its unspoken meaning clear to both of us.
I pop my collar up, getting ready for the tie.
"Would you like me to tie it for you?"
"Oh… no thank you. I'm pretty sure I still remember how to do this."
In my haste, I fumble and screw up twice, but I manage to tie it right, third time's the charm.
"Oh my, a double Windsor knot! Somepony wants to look especially fancy today!"
"Well, it is a very special day for me," I say, my eyes starting to water at that thought. "But even so, I always go with a double Windsor. Pat-" the sharp and painful memory of my missing loved one jabs me in the gut. "Patricia… my wife, she… hah, she always said I looked best with a double Windsor. Even if it was usually too formal for all the… business meetings I'd be… wearing a tie to…"
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
I clear my throat, swiftly changing the subject as I run my fingers through what's left of my hair. "I've been meaning to ask you something Rarity." I look at her intently.
"Oh?"
"Why exactly DO you have bridles on those mannequins over there?" I point an unsteady finger. "What kind of clothing is that?"
Rarity glances behind her at the articles in question, before turning back to me and blushing ever so slightly. "Mr. Dane… perhaps it's different where you come from, all of your kind wear clothing, after all, but… tell me, how many ponies have you seen around Ponyville who are wearing some manner of clothing?"
"I… haven't seen anypony around town… at all, actually… what's up with that anyhow?"
"Very well then, in the hospital perhaps? Who was wearing clothing?"
"Well the doctors…"
"But nopony else, correct?"
"Yeah, nopony wears clothes around here, I know," I say with a shrug as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. "Believe me, that's old news."
"Ah. Exactly. You see, in a town where clothing is rare, one in a business such as mine must venture down… other… avenues… in which to make sales."
I nod, implying she should continue…
"If clothing is not worn every day," she explains while making hoof gestures, "and occasions calling for fancy dress are, well, rather limited… here… and sadly, since the occasional commissions from wealthy customers in Canterlot are far and few in between, then other purposes for which articles of clothing are used are… my only option… in order to make business at all, as it were," she finishes with an awkward forced smile.
"Other purposes?" I ask, not quite catching her meaning.
"Other purposes," she nods her head toward me, in a sort of 'if you know what I mean' way.
"Oh. Oh! Oh. So you're telling me that those bridles are…" The word's on the tip of my tongue, but I'm not entirely sure I should spit it out.
"Intimate apparel. Yes darling," she finishes with a defeated sigh.
My mouth hangs open for a moment and my throat makes some tiny squeaking noise while I calculate a response. "I see…"
"I do hope you don't think any different of me because of…"
"Oh no no no, don't be ridiculous Rarity," I quickly dispel that notion with a wave of my hand. "We're both adults here, anyhow."
"Oh good," she smiles once again.
"But… but don't you make enough green-"
"Green?"
"Oh… um… gold?"
"Ah."
"So don't you make enough money making dresses for rich ponies? Like what's-her-name? That pop star?" I snap my fingers a few times, her name's right on the tip of my tongue.
Much to Rarity's amusement, apparently. Her eyes appear glued to my fingers, she shakes her head and answers, "Sapphire Shores?"
"Yeah! Her!"
"Well she did buy quite a number of dresses… and then she never came back. I'm not entirely sure why. I don't expect I disappointed her… though some ponies say she's always looking for new styles… perhaps she thought those bedazzled dresses were the upper limits of my creativity? I just don't know."
"What about that guy? Uh… Fancy-" Shit… has that happened yet?
"Fancy Pants?"
"…Yeah?"
"Well I did do one dress for his… 'companion' but sadly that was it. Seems none of those other snob- I mean potential customers came to fruition."
That was a close call… I think I'm gonna have to go over where, or actually when, I am. "Ok then, you don't sell many dresses to Canterlotians, what about Ponyville… -ians?"
"A few. But even the wealthier families in Ponyville tend to be much more conservative when it comes to clothing." She sighs.
"Well, do you sell much of… that around here then?"
She smiles warmly, "Thankfully, yes. I do dominate the market here in Ponyville. And it certainly keeps my business afloat," her smile fades, "Even if I'd much rather sell a glamorous dress to every mare in town…" She looks wistfully at one of her bridled mannequins.
"Well maybe you'll at least sell a suit or two after the stallions see this handsome devil sporting a Rarity original." I finish putting the suit coat on. "How do I look?"
"Marvelous! Oh, do stand up darling. Let me see my work. Do you need help?"
I try to rock myself up and out of the chair, but it's so damn low. "Think you could give me a little nudge?"
"Of course."
I rock again and the gentle tingling of magic presses against my back just enough to help me up.
Rarity squees with delight. "Oh we simply must get the others in here!"
"Ah, I think I can make it out there on my own," I say with a confident smile. My back is stiff from sitting so long, but I shuffle towards the door anyway, cane in hand.
"Ta da!" Rarity announces to her friends.
"What do you think?" I strike a pose, holding my cane off to the side.
Ooh's and ah's. Pinkie's back, smiling with the rest of them. Hell, even Twilight seems to have brightened up a bit at my dapper appearance.
"You look good, Dane," she says to me, a small smile present on her face. A slightly pained, but very genuine smile. There's happiness there, maybe it's for me, but I'll be damned if it isn't there. There is hope for Twi, after all.
"Thanks Twi. That means a lot to me." I can't help but smile a sad smile too. "Well ladies, shall we get going?"
We approach the tree-library, and the town is still as dead quiet as it had been earlier. We stop a few feet from the door. THE door to Ponyville's one and only living tree library. The Golden Oaks. I've had dreams about this door. Oh, what happened when I stepped inside changed from time to time, but the door itself always remained the same. Except now it's before my eyes in the waking world. With such clarity. The red paint bestowed upon the sturdy wooden door is just slightly faded. The candle painting is much more than a painting, it's an exquisitely detailed engraving. Drips of wax are even-
"Daney!" Pinkie shouts in my ear. "Before we go in there I have to tell you something! I know I promised no more surprises but I couldn't help myself so I set up a surprise welcome-to-Ponyville-and-our-planet-sorry-I-scared-you party! Except it's not a surprise anymore because I just told you it's a surprise even though it's not a surprise because I just told you it's a surprise but it's not. So you won't be surprised will you?" She implores me with wide eyes and a huge grin.
"Hehe, no Pinkie, I won't."
"Ok good but do you think you could act just a little surprised for all the ponies who are gonna shout 'surprise'?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Great! Ok everypony! Follow my lead!" Pinkie clicks the handle to the door of my dreams, and gently nudges it open. She speaks abnormally loud, "We're just ordinary ponies and an ordinary alien walking into an ordinary library to do ordinary library-y things!"
I can see nothing as Rainbow wheels me and my chair into the inky black darkness of the library.
CLICK
"SURPRISE!"
The sheer intensity of the greeting actually catches me by surprise.
And now I see why. A big, warm smile creeps its way across my face. So this is where everypony was hiding!