//------------------------------// // 6. Nothing happened // Story: Stallions of Harmony - Longest Night // by Jetto //------------------------------// „My name is Prince Blueblood, and I am here to say, that doesn't rhyme, but what the hay, I will sing it anyway!” This day was getting weirder and weirder for Shining Armor. Barely an hour passed since they left the hospital to go to their next assignment and Prince already managed to sing three different songs, dance in several styles and seduce almost every mare they met. He managed to make three earth ponies at the flower stands faint, one after the other, by just walking to them, looking into eyes, gently stroking hair and perfectly matching the lyrics of a love ballad he was singing to the colors of their eyes, taking no longer then 2 seconds with each. That was quite possibly the scariest and most awesome thing Shining Armor has ever laid his eyes on. He did have a good singing voice, though. “It doesn't matter now, if you have wings or horn, my song will make you truly glad, that were really born!” Back in the hospital, Shining Armor checked the correct bracket on the checklist and assured Big Macintosh that he will make sure Apple family won't be brought to face the consequences, seeing as they couldn't predict the outcome of something as simple as tasting a single cupcake. He bid farewell to Big Mac and quickly left the hospital, before Prince Blueblood seduced all the nurses and patients. Nurse Redheart had limited knowledge of said potion, aside from the fact that it works, it's safe for health in small doses and usual side effects were irrational anger or depression. “Cause I love to see you smile, smile, smile, yes I do, it feels me with desire to go on, it sure does!” “Anger and depression, my flank...” commented Shining Armor. Shining looked over the checklist once again and put a simple enough plan. Go to town hall to check decorations, then head to the outskirts to see how bird chorus was performing and on the way he should find weather ponies and Wonderbolts around for a quick chat. Once everything is done with, they were supposed to stop at Golden Oak Library, where they could rest a bit before reporting to Princess. Thankfully Prince was limiting himself to dancing and harmless flirting, leaving mare after mare unharmed, if a little dazed, sometimes unconciouss. Otherwise Shining Armor would intervene and stop him from taking a lead on a certain gray mare pegasus they just met. Judging from her hat and saddlebags, she must have been a local postmare. She blushed nervously and tried to walk away, but Prince wasn't letting her go that easily. “Umm, excuse me, I have to... could you please... sir!” lamented the gray mare. She turned back to a stallion walking after her “Doctor, help!” A brown earth pony called Doctor laughed at the sight “Oh come on Ditzy, where's your playful spirit? I thought you ponies loved to dance and sing all days.” “Well, yeah, but not in the middle of my job!” answered Ditzy, as she desperately tried to escape the unwanted attention. Shining Armor groaned and walked between Prince and Ditzy “Okay, that's it, she had enough.” “Aww, but they barely started!” complained Doctor, turning to Shining Armor “She's always work, work, work, never any time to have some fun.” “Well excuse me for having a life and responsibilities!” pouted Ditzy as she looked at Doctor. “Hey, I have responsibilities too! Or did you forget who saved this town from rabid yeti infestation last year?” “First of, you wouldn't have done that without me and my muffins.” said Ditzy “Two, it's not last year, but next year. It didn't even happen yet.” “Really?” asked Doctor, as he tapped his chin and looked into skies “Fancy that, you're right! What was it last year?” “Matter-eater plant-colts," answered Ditzy "And it was in Detrot.” Doctor and Ditzy shuddered at the thought. Shining Armor didn't understand a word and he didn't care. But something did seem out of plac here - Prince was actually silent and still, as his eyes were concentrated clearly on one thing. “Your eyes...” said Prince Blueblood to Ditzy, as he moved forward again, their faces almost touching, Ditzy becoming more red out of embarrassment, trying desperately to run away, but somehow found it impossible to avert her sight “...are so pretty.” As a response to that, Ditzy's head was now steaming. Shining Armor looked at Prince with irritaion, then at Ditzy and noticed... “OH SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES!” shouted Shining Armor and soon after that he covered his mouth with both hooves “I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...” “They can see all the world!” interrupted Prince Blueblood, fully concentrated on derped eye of gray mare, who tried to cover it with a wing, but Prince gently pulled it away with his hoof “Why hide such beauty? Let the world see and grow jealous, my little angel.” Between Shining's scream, Prince's flirting and Doctor's snickering, Ditzy went completely dizzy opened her mouth and said only gibberish, and finally could not take it anymore and just flew away with the speed of a bullet, leaving only dust and three stallion behind. “Wait, my angel!” called Prince Blueblood, as he walked few steps in the direction that Ditzy dissapeared. He shrugged and waved in that general direction “Call me!” Shining Armor facehooved and had an urge to punch somepony. No, not Prince Blueblood, but himself yesterday and an hour ago. He turned to Doctor. “I'm so sorry about him, I swear he's not like that usually!” “Nah, think nothing of it,” said smiling Doctor, hoofwaving “She loves attention, she's just too shy to admit it. I would be more concerned about your comments, though.” Shining Armor's head drooped “I'm sorry, I just... ugh,” he shook his head “I have no excuse. I need to find her and apologize!” “Oh, don't worry about it, she probably won't even remember it. She's stronger then she looks, a comment like that doesn't bother her anymore.” said Doctor, as he trotted toward Prince Blueblood, who just made another mare faint while they were chatting “But I must say, I've been living with ponies for years now and your friend here sure is fascinating.” he knelt over fainted mare to check her pulse. He confirmed that she was alive and just asleep, with a grin. “Living with ponies?” repeated Shining Armor, as he scanned Doctor a bit more. He was a clearly adult brown coated earth pony stallion, with hourglass as a cutie mark. He shook his head and just ignored the previous statement, concentrating on the problem at hoof “It's all that medicine he just got from the hospital.” “Mhm.” hummed Doctor, as he was performing a checkup on Prince Blueblood's body, with the former not issuing any protests, but humming a cheerful tune. Shining Armor continued talking. “I mean, I had no idea he was allergic to honey and that those Zap Apple Cupcakes, the tastiest thing I ever had, was made out of it and it almost killed him, but then Big Macintosh saved him...” “Ah, so you met the Apple family already?” asked cheerfully Doctor, as he continued inspecting Prince's body, now asking him to open his mouth and say “aah”, to which prince gladly obliged. “Fancy that!” announced shocked Doctor “What?” asked worried Shining Armor. “He has a filling in his molar!” he laughed “I didn't even know you ponies HAD these! You learn something every day.” “R-right...” commented Shining Armor, even more confused then before. He probably should react somehow to Doctor checking up on Prince as well, but he seemed like he knew what he was doing. “And what happened next?” asked Doctor. Shining Armor shook his head and continued. “Well, we got to a hospital nearby and he was supposed to stay for the day, but he has a job to take care of and it's too important.” “Summer Sun Celebration?” asked Doctor, not even taking his eyes from Prince “Yes. How did you know?” “Two strangers walking around town day before the biggest celebration this town had to offer, visiting Apple family, who were supposed to provide catering. Lucky guess,” answered smiling Doctor. “And his wallet has a mark of Blueblood clan, they tend to do this kind of stuff.” added Doctor, as he held a brown wallet in his hoof. That alarmed Shining Armor and made him come and grab the object in question with his magic. “You took his wallet?!” “No, he just gave it to me.” answered Doctor, as he pointed at Prince. “Please, take it as a token of my gratitude, pretty gentlecolt.” said delicately Prince Blueblood, smiling seductively at Doctor. Shining Armor gagged. “This is seriously getting out of hoof!” commented bodyguard, trying really hard not to cast a wholesome barrier on Prince Blueblood and just drag him over Ponyville just to be sure he won't cause trouble. “Oh, I don't mind.” said Doctor, still smiling. Shining Armor ignored it. He coughed and finished his story to Doctor “Anyway, nurse gave him some sort of magical potion, which was supposed to make him angry and depressed, but instead he's like... that.” They watched as Prince Blueblood now joined a group of fillies on the jump rope. “Yinyang panacea.” said shortly Doctor, his face losing the previous smile. Shining Armor looked at him with puzzled expression. “Yigyon what?” “Yinyang panacea. That's the name of the potion he was given, right?” “Umm, I don't know. Maybe?” answered Shining, ashamed of forgetting a small detail like asking what the hay they fed to his employer. “Ah, that would explain it all. You see my little pony...” he began, and snickered at his words “I'll never get tired of saying that!” Doctor coughed “But anyway, Yinyang panacea is an old magical potion used for quick regeneration of the body. In itself, it has no healing properties at all, but it accelerates the rate at which the body recovers on its own. A single dose is usually an equivalent of a few hours of doing nothing. Back in the day soldiers used it to keep themselves awake at long shifts. Bad idea though, as continous usage causes weakening of body immunity and stagnation of bones and muscles. Well, that should be pretty obvious, it does accelerate your body significantly, it's like you're getting older by the seconds. I heard one soldier abused it so much, he grew older than his grandfather, can you believe that?” Shining Armor blinked “There's a medicine like that?” “Why yes, although very old and rare, used only in emergency, like main inspector of big ceremony having health problems, which could cause the entire event to be canceled.” “But, nurse said that the side effects would be, well, not this.” “Ah, Nurse Redheart, I presume? A lovely lady, but she didn't realize that Yinyang panacea doesn't do that. It reverses your mood.” “Reverses mood?” “Why yes, my dear friend, reverses. Most Ponyville patients are jolly and positive folk, so I assume that's why everypony thinks it makes you unhappy. It turns your mood completely around, so if you were happy go lucky, you ended up gloomy under the weather. If you were sugar, you became salt. And if you were a sad bastard, you would become... “... a happy nice pony!” finished Shining Armor, his eyes widened at the revelation. He looked at Prince Blueblood, playing hide and seek with several school foals, smiling and laughing like he was one of them. Never in his life did he felt so depressed when watching somepony having fun. “Makes you wonder,” said Doctor, as he joined Shining Armor in observations “...what must somepony be like, when this is your opposite self.” They stood like that for a few moments more. Shining Armor knew Prince for a very short time and from what he saw, he wasn't exactly the best example of a friendly pony. Did he really hate this place so much? Was this some sort of punishment to him? And if it was, does that mean that sending him as an escort was also one? He could see that now, maybe it was Princess idea of showing bad guards and servants what awaits them once they screw up? He couldn't quite wrap his mind around that and probably thought too much about a simple mission. A mission he still had to finish, no matter the reasons. “Doctor, are you sure about this?” asked Shining Armor “Maybe it's a different potion, or it didn't work properly...” “Nah, I'm positive. It's not nearly as popular nowadays, especially not in big cities like Canterlot, but smaller hamlets and towns still tend to use it, sparingly though.” explained Doctor “Besides, everything else matches the descriptions. Higher body temperature, shrinking irises, hyperactive behavior, sunflower and baked corn breath...” said Doctor. Shining Armor raised his brow “...don't ask, I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of magic being real. But anyways, it's what it is. Believe me, I brought this little medical miracle to use myself, if I do say so myself.” “You made it?” “No, not exactly. The actual recipe is centuries old, made by an amazing zebra shaman, I believe his name was Rozzir. Funny fellow, talked only in rhyme. That is, unless you asked him about oranges. Then he went completely silent!” announced Doctor with a laugh “Oh, so you used his recipe, then?” “Nah, I could never make it work. I can't even work with regular, unicorn magic (not at all due to my lack of horn, mind you), you have no idea how hard brewing is, all this baking portals and whatnot. I just asked him to come and do it himself.” “Oh, ok the-... w-wait, what?” asked Shining Armor, looking suspiciously at Doctor “...asked him?” “Well, technically, it was Ditzy. He couldn't possibly be convinced with words, believe me I tried. Probably angry about those oranges. I was about to force him with blackmail (oh don't look at me like that, he was going to let a whole village suffer, that bloody prick!), but then she just asks him nicely and bakes him a muffin.” Doctor put a hoof to his chin, closed his eyes and nodded “I swore back then to never doubt a muffin anymore.” Right now, Shining Armor was positively wanting to be out of this conversation, as enjoyable as it was for the most part. It didn't seem like Doctor was lying about anything, though he might believe a little too much for comfort. Weird ponies happened and if anything, he learned to let it slide and just let them be as long as they don't cause troubles. “Right then, Doctor,” said Shining Armor nervously and took a few steps back “...I think we should be going now. Thank you for help and again, sorry about Ditzy.” “Don't mention it. If you ever need help, just ask.” nodded Doctor “After all, what are friends for?” “Y-yeah, thanks.” answered nervously Shining Armor. “Well then, see you at the Celebration then, Shining Armor.” And so Doctor left the duo of unicorns. Shining Armor sighed and once again turned to Prince Blueblood and took him away from another session of “duck, duck, goose” he was enjoying with a bunch of kids. He'd rather take him away before the Yinyang panacea wears off and he starts throwing them at walls. Or shouting, whichever he's in a mood for at the moment. Once they were on the way to the Town Hall, Shining Armor realized something. “Wait, did I even tell him my name?” The area around Town Hall was busy. All around the building they could see townsfolks working around, pulling carts with wood and tools for stands, which ranged from different foods, carnival attractions, fortune telling booths and a stage for some local music bands. Apparently, the entire inspection was only covering the official points, with everything else set up independetly by anypony who so wished. Prince Blueblood was now running from stand to stand, conversing with each pony he met, making cute eyes and flirting even more, making even more mares blush and fall on their knees. Somehow, with great effort, Shining Armor was able to guide him to the town hall without a single punch. There they were greeted by ribbons. A bunch of ribbons, perfectly matched curtains, ribbons, ornaments, ribbons, stage set up for Princess and even more ribbons, some of them had ribbons in them. All in all, Shining Armor thought it looked good, if a little gaudy for him, but what does he know? Prince was however, enamored. "So beautiful!" exclaimed happily Prince. "Yes, I guess the decorations are fine then, let's just..." as he was about to put a check on the list, Blueblood interrupted him" "No, I mean her!" he pointed forward, his voice even softer and slower then before, his smile even wider. According to Prince Blueblood, the most beautiful mare in the world (right now) was a marshmellow white unicorn with a perfectly styled purple mane and tail, right now busy with figuring out which ribbon was more perfect for the column, trying to decide between blue, blue or blue. "Well yes, she is pretty, but we should go now." "No, my dear servant. Flowers are pretty. Sky is pretty. She is... a gift from the heavens, sent to Equestria so she could be praised as a goddess of perfection!" "I thought you said that Ditzy was an angel?" why Shining Armor asked this, he did not now, but regretted afterwards. "This pure white goddess isn't an angel!" Prince raised his voice "She has no wings, silly." giggled Blueblood, leaving Shining Armor silent where he, stood unable to deny or even comment, as Prince walked slowly towards the unicorn mare in question. Shining Armor did not dare to follow, but from the distance he could see their body language. Prince walked towards her, saying something with a smile. She looked back with curiosity, blushed and shushed him away with her hoof, although she obviously didn't want him gone. He got closer to to her and whispered something to her ear. She blushed and giggled, her ears perked and eyes now following Prince seductively. He took the ribbon she just dropped with magic and gently tied it to her hair. She looked happily at the ribbon, said something, visibly stuttering. Shining gagged and couldn't take it anymore, so he turned back and left the town hall, decing to wait outside. Once there, he looked around the list. Finding a mare called Fluttershy should be easy, everypony knew where he could find her. Weather team and Wonderbolts were tougher bites, as they were still in motion. Without wings, it was hard to catch up to them in the skies. Not that most pegasi could catch up to Wonderbolts anyway, seeing as they were the fastest team in Equestria. They had to have accomodations somewhere on the ground, maybe a hotel he could try to check out. And as for weather, he could see lots of lone clouds floating above the town, where it was supposed to be competely clean. Somepony wasn't doing their job and time was running out. Somepony on the list called Rainbow Dash, the weather menager. SLAM! The doors to the Town Hall opened violently, spooking Shining Armor and making him drop the checklist. He quickly picked it up with magic and looked at the cause. "We are leaving!" announced angry... "Prince Blueblood?" asked Shining Armor, not quite believing that he saw his employer without a smile. Prince was visibly pissed off, his eyes burning red with anger as he trotted away from the Town Hall. "AND NEVER COME BACK, YOU RUFFIAN!" shouted voice from inside the Town Hall, probably belonging to the unicorn mare from before. "AS IF I WOULD EVER FACE A HARLOT LIKE YOU EVER AGAIN!" replied Prince, barely facing back. Shining Armor was now full of questions. Did the potion ran out now? Were the side effects changing? And most importantly... "What happened back there?" "Nothing," answer bitterly Prince "and if you ever ask me that again, consider yourself FIRED forever. Understand?" Shining Armor gulped and nodded, wondering what exactly could have happened in two minutes that he was gone. He looked at the checklist and nervously asked. "Ummm ,sir, the decorations?" "Huh? Oh, yes, they are done and fine. Whatever." As much as he regretted to admit it, he missed the playcolt Prince already.