//------------------------------// // Chapter 44 // Story: Joe // by JMDARE //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle woke and almost purred in contentment. That had been a very strange dream, but her bed was feeling especially soft and comfortable today so she squirmed slightly and brought a wing up to snuggle her face into it against the pillow. Soon she’d need to get up, but… wait… wing? She gave a slight yelp and jumped out of bed, unfurling and giving a few quick flaps of her wings. That wasn’t a dream, she had wings. Twilight Sparkle looked around herself and recognised the Canterlot Castle bedroom. That wasn’t a dream, she had wings and she was in Canterlot. She trotted across to the nearest mirror and stared at herself and her extra limbs. This… no, this couldn’t be happening. It was bizarre enough being the Holder of the Element of Magic, though if this was really happening she wasn’t sure if she still was or not. The Tiara had been on her head when the other Elements had discharged but she’d not been wearing it when she reappeared in Ponyville and realised hours had passed and she now had… these. Twilight Sparkle shook her head. Someday, maybe, she would be given an official position rather than the unofficial one she’d gained in Ponyville through her efforts and being Princess Celestia’s student, but that day was still years off. She still had so much to learn so even if she could believe she had wings… “Thou art not still dreaming,” a voice said, interrupting her thoughts, “and I would know if thee were.” Twilight Sparkle turned and saw Princess Luna, Goddess of the Moon and of Dreams regarding her with slight amusement. Hurriedly Twilight Sparkle dipped her front half into a bow of greeting. “The events of yesterday,” Princess Luna continued, “thy talk with my sister and thy being named Princess when thee descended to Ponyville were also not dreams, though the talk did take place more in a realm of the mind than any physical sphere.” “I… I…” stuttered Twilight Sparkle, looking up, that hope dismissed. Then something occurred to her. “Should I… be bowing to you? If we are both Princesses… though you are still a Goddess, so…” “There is no need to bow Twilight,” Princess Luna smiled. “But has little to do with thy new status. Thou art dear to Tia and I owe you too much for formality between us.” “I, yes, Your…” “Luna. And I am sure my sister will be pleased should you call her Tia.” “I’m not sure that I can,” Twilight Sparkle admitted, “it will be hard enough to just call her Celestia.” “Then once she has dealt with dreary mortal affairs of state thee shall have to practice,” Princess Luna nodded, “but for now thou art in my care so I may educate you in the equally dreary formalities of thy position. And begin to detail how thee shall be crowned…” Twilight Sparkle nodded. Details of the talk she’d had with Princess Celestia after they’d left Ponyville were beginning to come back to her. They’d not talked more than an hour but her mentor, or former mentor, had explained that there would need to be a ceremony. Declaring and displaying that she was a Princess was the first stage and then would come more education in her new duties. There had seemed some hidden amusement in Princess Celestia’s eyes when she said there would be no delay in either and Princess Cadance would play her role in both, so it seemed the coming weeks would be busy. “…tomorrow,” Princess Luna finished. “What?” shrieked Twilight Sparkle. “But rehearsals, and organisation, and…” “And thee have fulfilled my sister’s faith,” Princess Luna interrupted, “this day has been anticipated and she, and I, are confident that you will meet this minor challenge of ceremonial before you also surpass the greater challenges ahead.” “I… but…” “Now come Princess Twilight, thee asked my sister if there was a book and she could have replied an entire library. Of dusty tomes of old and new etiquette and recent and outdated styles of formal behaviour. Let us see if my recent education in how ‘polite society’ had changed over a millennia will allow me to similarly educate you in its intricate nonsense.” == As the knock on the door of the Carousel Boutique was repeated Rarity sighed and floated a towel to her face to wipe it. Glancing for a moment at the green goo now on the towel, rather than remaining to condition her fur for the extra two minutes she should have allowed, she sent the towel to her laundry hamper and began muttering about inconsideration. The sign clearly gave the opening hours and said her shop was closed and if it was a friend rather than a customer then they knew she preferred to not be visited this early. Pasting a welcoming smile on her face Rarity opened the door and then let out a slight squeak of surprise when she found three, rather handsome, Unicorns in the armour of the Royal Guard on her doorstep. Seeing them and a few interested Ponies she became very aware of the fact her mane was still gathered up in a towel and that her pink slippers and dressing gown showed she had been caught unawares. She had to resist the temptation to retreat and at least find a mirror long enough to check she’d got all her facial off, the disadvantage of white fur was that so much showed up so well against it. With a nod the central Unicorn retreated a step and then, to Rarity’s horror as it drew more eyes to them and to her dishabille, the other two began blowing on the trumpets they were carrying. As quick a fanfare as it was it was not short enough for her peace of mind. The central Unicorn bowed as it concluded and then floated and unrolled a scroll to in front of his face and began to read. Declaring in carrying tones that Rarity, Holder of the Element of Generosity, was requested and required to be in Canterlot tomorrow to aid her friend Princess Twilight Sparkle in her Coronation. Even as her mind began clicking over on dress designs Rarity felt her blush deepening as more Ponies watched and began to excitedly gossip. This was wonderful news but getting it, and the scroll the Guard passed to her as he finished reading it, half-an-hour later would have been less embarrassing. == The trio of Royal Guard Pegasi paused outside the door of the cloud house. Despite Princess Celestia having not that long since raised the sun it sounded as if the owner of this cottage was industrious as they could hear what sounded like woodworking. With a nod to his two friends the one that had the job of scroll carrying and reading rather than trumpet blowing knocked on the door. The woodworking sounds stopped and after a few moments a bleary-eyed blue Pegasus with a Rainbow Mane opened her door and peered out at them. Taking their cue, and causing this Mare’s eyes to widen as she tried to decide if she was dreaming, the two trumpet carriers went through their fanfare and the scroll carrier started to read. By the time he had finished the Holder of the Element of Loyalty was fully awake… “Awesome!” Rainbow Dash declared, going from standing in her doorway to a multicoloured blur in an instant. The three Royal Guards had just enough time to wonder where she was going before she curved back and began flying rainbow coloured loops around them until, with a giggle and another declaration of awesomeness, she retreated inside again. Glancing at each other they confirmed their friends were looking just as dazed as they felt. Giving his head a shake to clear it the scroll carrier decided to slip the scroll under the door rather than risk knocking and getting them another dose of such high-speed joy. == Heavy hooves thudded in the soil of the road as the three Earth Pony Royal Guards approached the farmhouse. Unicorns had their fancy magic and Pegasi had their wings, but if you wanted to deal with something you needed hooves on the ground. And if you really wanted to deal with it those hooves had to be Earth Pony and have the sheer toughness to stomp anything flat. Not the glamorous part, not the ones to stand around preening, but necessary. “Can ah help y’all?” a pleasant feminine twang asked from one side. “Eee’yup,” another voice echoed. The Guards turned and the first thought of the scroll carrier was that he’d finally met a Pony bigger than him, if only just, as he saw the huge red stallion. But then the friendly welcoming smile from the orange Mare made what they’d intended to do seem a touch silly. Perhaps honesty and running through a formal ceremony were just incompatible? Professional dispassion breaking a little the scroll carrier returned a fraction of a smile. “Would you be Applejack, holder of the Element of Honesty?” “That’s me, sugar cube, and this is mah brother Big Macintosh.” “Howdy,” nodded Big Macintosh. “Well,” the scroll carrier continued, “I was supposed to knock, you answer the door, they blow the trumpets, and then I read this scroll.” He shrugged and looked to his two friends. “Give them a quick toot.” The other two nodded and obliged before the scroll carrier read his declaration, in a rather more friendly and normal tone than he’d intended when given this task, and passed the scroll over. “Well, ain’t that fancy,” Applejack commented, looking at the gilding and intricate multicoloured calligraphy. “Eee’yup” agreed Big Macintosh. “Would you boys like some Apple Pie?” Applejack continued. “Thank you kindly, Ma’am,” nodded the scroll carrier, “but we’ve already bent things enough. Hope you and your friends enjoy things.” “But Corp,” a trumpet carrier protested, “pie!” “Shut up,” growled the Corporal, “and if anypony asks we did the full routine. Understood?” “Yes Corp.” == With a deep breath and unaware of the eye roll the other two Pegasi Royal Guards, with their trumpets, gave each other the scroll carrier raised his nose and prepared to knock. At least one member of his family had been in service to the Crown for as far back as there had been a Royal Guard and with those generations of tradition behind him he had to work hard to remember that, for now, he was of only low rank. But even before his Cutie Mark had appeared he had been studying and training towards the position of command he was confident one day would be his. He knocked and after a moment a rather shy looking Pegasus peeked out at them. With a graciously condescending nod to her the Pegasus Guard signalled his subordinates to begin their part of things. Barely had they begun to blow however then the door flung open and with two swipes and clangs of hoof against metal the Holder of the Element of Kindness had knocked the trumpets aside. “Stop that noise at once,” Fluttershy glared, “there are baby animals trying to sleep!” “I, er, I am sorry Ma’am,” stuttered the scroll carrier, as the trumpet carriers enjoyed his discomfort. Arrogant young snot that he was. Fluttershy focussed her glare on him and although this was nowhere near ‘the stare’ it was enough to make him quail as no challenge had before. He’d tried to imagine his worst fears so he could face them but this was something he’d never anticipated. Clearing his throat he read, in a quiet voice, the declaration as Fluttershy began to blush at her actions and to retreat behind her Mane. Ten minutes later, the scroll given to her, the Pegasi were retreating with none of them sure how they’d gone from ceremonial to carrying some buckets around and helping in apology. == He’d been kicked in the head. He’d been spilt from a flying chariot by a rookie Pegasus. He’d gone through a forced march and been one of the last dozen stallions standing out of the entire company. But nothing had made him feel as disorientated as this. “Do… do I have cake frosting in my armour?” the Earth Pony Royal Guard who had been carrying the scroll asked. “Never mind that,” one of the other two replied, “I didn’t know my trumpet could make that sound.” “Well, I read the declaration and passed it over… now let’s get out of here!” The three Royal Guards managed to avoid a gallop, but were edging closer to a canter than a trot as they gained blessed distance from Sugarcube Corner. They had scarcely begun the ceremony when they’d found themselves suddenly inside the shop. An attempt to return to sounding the fanfare had ended as suddenly a trumpet was in Pinkie Pie’s hooves rather than a Guard’s. And every time the scroll carrier had tried reading out the invitation and declaration it seemed the Holder of the Element of Laughter was somewhere other than the direction he was reading it towards. At least now this was over and they had managed to give her the invitation. == Joe yawned and started the short walk towards Sweet Apple Acres. He was still feeling fine and hoped this would last. Rainbow Dash had mentioned the effects of that potion were temporary so he did wonder how long he would feel normal for. It seemed possible that some of his existing strength had been drained and that was being compensated for until the potion wore off. He was optimistic enough though that, at worst, he’d not become too much weaker that he’d decided to buy some more weights rather than having to continue to swap them between bars. He could also do with some food shopping and if there wasn’t too much to do at Sweet Apple Acres and he had the afternoon free then maybe the walking and sketching in the hills he’d considered a couple of days ago. == The trio of Unicorn Royal Guards approached the Golden Oaks Library and the one with the scroll knocked. Then he looked down at the small Purple Dragon that opened it. Unicorn and Dragon eyes met for a moment until the former shrugged. “Hi Spike.” “Been a while,” Spike nodded. “Your big sis is being made a Princess.” “So Princess Celestia said,” Spike nodded again, adding, “though she also said Twilight already was one.” “True,” agreed the Unicorn, floating the scroll into view, “but this is the formal notice and invitation to the coronation. You want the trumpets and stentorian voice?” “Nah.” “Okay then,” the scroll carrier said, floating the scroll to Spike with another shrug. “I’ll hope to see you in Canterlot tomorrow, though we’ll both be busy with our parts in the coronation. Good luck to you and Twilight, couldn’t happen to a nicer girl.” “Thanks,” smiled Spike, taking the scroll, “pass my regards to the wife and foals…” “Will do.” “And see you in Canterlot, maybe.” “Until next time,” nodded the Unicorn as Spike retreated inside to read. == Seeing her beloved husband working at his desk the pink Alicorn Mare tiptoed towards him. Though technically, when she wasn’t flying, she always tiptoed towards him as you couldn’t get much more the tip of a toe than a hoof. She nuzzled him behind one ear and, silently, cursed his military training as once more he failed to jump and it was clear he’d known she was there and approaching. “Darling,” Princess Cadance smiled, “you are going to be related to a Princess as well as married to one…” “What?” interrupted Shining Armour, “that is wonderful news! When did you find out?” “Well, this morning…” Princess Cadence began, puzzled by the reaction. “Wow! Yes!” said Shining Armour, jumping up to his hooves. Before his wife could react he’d pressed one ear to her barrel, just behind her wing. “Darling?” “Just seeing if I could hear anything!” continued Shining Armour, almost dancing around her. “This is great, what are we going to call her? And how do you know it’s a girl…” “Oh!” Princess Cadance said. “No…” “No?” “No. Despite your efforts… which you know I appreciate… I’m not pregnant.” “You’re not?” Shining Armour asked, looking baffled and disappointed. “Then what did you mean?” “Twilight has been made a Princess.” “Twily? A Princess?” “And she’s an Alicorn now.” “Twily… Alicorn?” Shining Armour repeated, losing even more of the power of speech. With a fond smile Princess Cadance leaned forward, and slightly up, and kissed him until the look of stunned surprise was replaced by the sort of stunned expression she preferred to see on her husband’s face. She let Shining Armour blink a few times and recover a little before she gave him his orders. “So we need to get packed for a visit to Canterlot tomorrow for her coronation. You can organise the packing… remember this is a state visit and not a transfer between barracks…” “We still had everything we needed,” Shining Armour protested, remembering how his instinct to travel light had bitten them once. “And I’ll see about making the announcement to our Crystal Ponies.” Shining Armour shook his head and followed, then his shock wore off enough he quickly opened a drawer with a flash of his horn and swept the papers into it with another. He wasn’t going to take time to put them away in order but he’d at least dump them away. Then he trotted slightly to catch up and allowed himself the chance to appreciate the rear view of his wife as he did. == “Joe.” “Big Macintosh,” Joe nodded. “What’s planned for today?” “That’s a mite complicated,” admitted Big Macintosh, “come on inside and we’ll talk to Granny Smith.” “Sure.” In the farmhouse on the table Granny Smith had various maps and schedules spread out before her. She gave Joe one of her one-eyed looks and seemed pleased and disappointed that he just nodded politely back. Didn’t want help that quailed too much but did want to be able to intimidate when needed. “Now you’re finally here,” Granny Smith began, “you can help get things figured out, with all th’ Royal folderol that’s going on.” Joe didn’t protest the ‘finally’ though, if anything, he was a little earlier than normal. “Royal folderol?” “Ain’t you heard that Twilight’s become a Princess?” Granny Smith frowned. “And being crowned tomorrow?” “I was there when Princess Celestia said Twilight was now a Princess, and saw her new wings. But I’d not heard about the crowning.” “Hrm,” Granny Smith nodded. “Well Applejack had heard, some fancy Guards stopped by with her invitation to it all…” “They were nice fellers,” commented Big Macintosh, “skipped the ceremonial.” Granny Smith darted a look at her grandson for the interruption, then continued. “So Applejack will be in Canterlot all day tomorrow. Ah’ll admit that when you started here, Joe, you weren’t doing anything we’d not be able to do ourselves. But you have got to doing enough that with all else that’s been going on we’ve got a bit of a backlog, and now we have to cover for th’ chores mah granddaughter can’t do while she’s in Canterlot. Or while getting ready today.” “I’m willing to work tomorrow,” Joe nodded, “but there might be a problem.” “What sort of problem?” asked Granny Smith, nodding as Joe explained what he needed to check. “Right then, fair enough.” “Maybe I could use the barn I cleared out…” Joe mused. “Eee’nope,” said Big Macintosh. “Things going on in there.” “So let’s get today and the day after tomorrow sorted,” Granny Smith said, before Joe could ask about ‘things’, “since those are Joe’s normal days.” “I note the emphasis on days rather than mornings,” smiled Joe, bending forward to look at the papers. == The street corner in Canterlot was unusually decorated today. His fine uniform showing his position and his fine voice showing his training and talent the large Pony drew in a deep breath, again, and bellowed out his announcement, again. “Hear ye! Hear ye! The Princess Twilight Sparkle shall be crowned tomorrow afternoon! Invitations are being dispatched, and processional routes marked out!” A stallion sniffed to the mare at his cafe table. “Dreadful noise,” Jet Set commented as the Town Crier drew breath. “Let celebrations be made on this joyous occasion! Let bunting be erected and your hearts sing!” “Huh, joyous,” sneered Upper Crust. “Hear ye! Hear ye! The Princess Twilight Sparkle shall be crowned tomorrow afternoon!…” “I don’t know what Princess Celestia is thinking about,” Jet Set sniffed again, taking a sip of his frothy coffee. “Thinking that her beloved student, who has saved us from Nightmare Moon, Discord, and the Changelings, has proven herself worthy?” an unwelcome voice asked. Jet Set almost snorted out his coffee as he wondered how long that stallion had been standing there. “Ah, erm… Fancy Pants…” Jet Set said, turning to face the arbiter of Canterlot High Society. “Though of course, if you wish to know what Her Majesty is thinking then you could always ask her,” Fancy Pants continued. “I… er… don’t think that will be necessary,” commented Upper Crust, getting a nod from her husband. “And if you don’t wish to join the celebrations then I am sure your invitations can go elsewhere,” Fancy Pants said, “you have been invited, haven’t you?” “Of, of course we have,” nodded Jet Set, hoping that was true as they’d left their house early enough to have missed the post. So there might be invitations waiting for them at home or there might not be, and even if they decided not to go they needed the invitations as proof they had chosen to not go. The Town Crier launched into another round of ‘Hear Ye!’s as Fancy Pants nodded and showed their expressions were easy to read. “It would be a shame for those invitations to be wasted,” he commented meaningfully, “and it would take a braver Pony than me to snub such an event and risk Princess Celestia’s displeasure by their absence. Or their attitude.” == “Row, row, row your boat…” “Rarw, rarw, rawr, ra-rawr!” “Gently down the stream…” “Rooo rawr rah rah rowr!” “Merrily, merrily, merrily…” “Rarow rowr rowr ra rawr!” “Life is but a dream.” “Roraroo roo roo rawr!” Finishing that round of his duet with Winona and reaching for another log Joe positioned it on the chopping block. Between them he, Granny Smith, and Big Macintosh had come up with a schedule and decided which of Applejack’s chores could be most easily deferred. If Joe could work here tomorrow then that would be good but a full day today and a full day the day after tomorrow would help keep things from falling too far behind. Joe swung down the axe he’d needed to jog back to his hut for and split a section off the side of this log to join the others scattered or stacked around him. “So,” Big Macintosh asked, “is life but a dream?” “With respect to Princess Luna,” shrugged Joe, putting the log to one side and picking up a section, “I don’t think she could boost my imagination enough to imagine you.” “Aruff,” Winona nodded, not exactly disputing but thinking a greater argument would be that Joe could not imagine such doggy perfection as her. Joe shifted his grip on his axe to hold it close to the head and began tapping at the section to sharpen it into a rough stake. It seemed more sensible while talking to do this rather than the larger log splitting movements he’d been using the song to keep rhythm for. “How do you row a boat anyway?” asked Big Macintosh. “Ah can imagine putting boats in a row, but sounded a mite different.” “Oh, right,” Joe nodded. “Humans can hold a stick with a broad end…” “You mean a paddle?” “Sorry,” Joe smiled, tapping at the section and dropping it as it seemed sharp enough. He picked up another. “I was forgetting ones for butter or cheese. But larger and longer, can be called a paddle or can be called an oar. Have a pivot on the side of the boat and pull back one end of the oar to put the broad end through the water, then swing it up out of the water and bring it back for another stroke. That’s called rowing.” Big Macintosh frowned. “Shouldn’t you be pushing one end if it’s pivoting? Sounds like you’d be going backwards.” “Sounds like it because you would be, but enough easier to bend and then straighten to compensate for the disadvantage of having to look over your shoulder or having someone else looking out ahead.” “You people do some weird things…” “Wuff,” agreed Winona, such as liking cats. “Maybe, but if it’s a canal narrowboat then…” “Let me guess. One of mah cousins has to pull it, ah know that face.” “Have been superseded by railways, or putting engines in the boats,” Joe nodded, finishing sharpening a stake, “but can pull a lot compared with a wagon with the lack of friction and that water is flat.” “Maybe so, but ah don’t think ah’ll dig myself a canal for my deliveries.” == Dresses. Dresses on Ponies, dresses on dummies, dresses still only on paper. Rarity was feeling more than a tinge of panic and although she had threatened Applejack with dire consequences, such as extra frou-frou on her dress, if she even approached the boutique equipment Rarity had accepted Fluttershy’s offer to do the more routine parts. Cloth and plans swirled around, the former being arranged and pinned and marked, as the challenge of five new dresses for one of the most important events in living memory was met. “Doesn’t she look lovely Opalescence?” Rarity said, resorting to seeking her cat’s opinion. Opalescence spared a glance and then went back to sleep. “Ah’m not sure this is really me,” commented Applejack. “You look… nice,” Fluttershy reassured her. “Ah can agree this makes me look good,” nodded Applejack, “but what ah was wondering was…” Rarity and Fluttershy nodded as their friend explained. Applejack had seen enough formal occasions now to have an idea of what would be sensible to suggest and she trusted her friends enough that was only minor things. Some of these slight changes Rarity wasn’t sure about but eventually she agreed to. “I still don’t think it will look as good with that, darling,” Rarity smiled, “but it would look more personal to you, and that is more important.” “I think it will look better,” blushed Fluttershy, contradicting her friend in her area of expertise. “If it looks more like Applejack’s dress rather than just a very nice dress then she might wear it better.” “There is that,” Rarity agreed, “and unusual can be interesting… thinking of which can you see Joe, Rainbow?” “Er, what?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I assume that’s why you keep looking out the window, dear.” “Ah, sorry Rainbow,” Applejack said, “is one of his days to work at Sweet Apple Acres, so likely he’s there.” “I wasn’t really looking for him,” frowned Rainbow Dash, “just while I am waiting for my turn with fitting and tweaking I get bored.” “No need to be embarrassed,” Rarity smiled. “What’s the point in having a special somehuman if you can’t be hoping he’ll arrive?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Yep,” Spike agreed, “I don’t think he’d make as good a pincushion as me.” “Don’t worry Rainbow, he should be here,” Rarity reassured her. “Why?” asked Applejack. “When I gave him his new waistcoat and formal shirt he mentioned he might need some help getting his formal boots and trousers back to as good as they were.” “Well, assuming he’s going to Canterlot,” Spike commented. “Why wouldn’t he?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Well he might not have been invited, probably ain’t,” Applejack pointed out. “Us all here are Twilight’s best friends and either th’ other Holders of Elements of Harmony or her, in effect, adoptive brother.” “He could still go,” argued Rarity, “I’m sure Fancy Pants could get him into some reception, and even if not he’d be able to join whatever crowds there are.” “I’m not sure he’d like the crowds,” Spike said. “True, darling,” agreed Rarity, “but for the occasion he might manage.” “Unless he was feeling unwelcome,” frowned Rainbow Dash, again, “he was nearly exiled.” Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oh my,” Fluttershy added. “What do you mean nearly exiled?” asked Applejack. “The day before yesterday Rainbow Dash found out Princess Celestia was so annoyed with Joe getting in the way of Twilight’s cure,” Rarity explained, “that she’d nearly put him where he couldn’t get in the way anymore.” “Princess Celestia visited the library and told us,” added Spike. “And then Joe lost his armour,” Rainbow Dash smiled, “because I said I’d need a hug as soon as he was out of it, and she made it vanish.” “Which Joe seemed to think a fair cost for the hug,” winked Spike. “No wonder you made him promise about th’ Everfree,” commented Applejack, “if he’s no armour and you’d nearly lost him to exile.” “Well, anyway,” Rarity said, “we’ll just have to see…” “I could…” “No Rainbow, we need to keep working on that dress. I don’t doubt you’d find him fast, but I doubt you’d return at once.” “Er, probably not,” Rainbow Dash blushed slightly. “And ah don’t want him too distracted from his chores neither,” smiled Applejack. == High above the land of Equestria hung the City of Cloudsdale. Most cities and towns had a mixture of the three sorts of ponyfolk, though generally one was a definite majority rather than the split being more even. Here though non-Pegasi were vanishingly rare since, even if they were given cloud-walking magic, the architecture assumed an ability to fly. It needed a very good reason to live somewhere when it could be almost impossible to get between places within it, or to get up and down from the city. Low above the City of Cloudsdale streaked a formation of Pegasi scattering swirls of coloured paper and leaflets announcing the coronation tomorrow. These leaflets paid particular notice to the idea that for a Unicorn to become a Princess she had needed to grow wings, like a proper Pony should. It was meant in quite a good-hearted manner, but as one Pegasus stallion scattered leaflets his face below his multi-coloured Mane began to grow a frown. He’d heard rumours about something else not being a proper Pony and thought it might be time to travel to Canterlot and then Ponyville. == It was quiet in this section of the Canterlot Castle Library, and even quieter due to the discreetly posted Guards warning Ponies that unless they really wanted a book from there they had better not disturb Princess Luna and her lessons. There was a growing stack of thick volumes to one side of Twilight Sparkle and as she read the book in front of her she frowned, her horn glowed and the stack divided partway up, and a second book floated from the middle of it and opened. Twilight Sparkle looked at one book, then the other, and then back to the first. “Gah!” “Thy studies frustrate you?” Princess Luna asked, not without sympathy. “It’s… this one says this and that one says something else,” complained Twilight Sparkle. “And it’s not different times of year or levels of formality, so is it four paces or six?” “Twilight, thee do not understand, it is both.” “How can it be both?” “Because ‘tis a weapon,” Princess Luna smiled. “It can be four or can be six, and should a host wish to embarrass then whichever their guest does can be considered wrong. But is not a weapon against such as you.” “Why not?” asked Twilight Sparkle, puzzled at Ponies deliberately trying to make other Ponies be wrong when she so loved correctness and precision. Princess Luna chuckled. “Could thee picture some host choosing four or six rather than whichever of those I had done? Or Tia? Or Cadance?” “No…” “Thee already had status Twilight, and Tia would have frowned on anypony setting out to embarrass thee in such a manner. But now thou art a Princess then would take a foolish, in the extreme, Pony to object should you choose four or six… or five or seven or three or whichever number thy fancy alighted on.” “Three and five and seven sound good,” Twilight Sparkle smiled, “always had a fondness for prime numbers.” “Then mayhap thee shall set a fashion accordingly.” == Taking a deep breath Joe hammered another stake flush into the ground. It was not the most sophisticated way to reinforce a steam bank but it was kinder to the creatures along the waterway than some of the alternatives. Like large quantities of concrete slabs and cement. The flooding caused by the Discord influenced Beavers had left this edge weakened and, although a chunk had been undermined enough there was little stopping it from collapsing with the next high water, the Apples didn’t want to lose too much of the margin between stream and orchard. “Going well Joe?” asked Big Macintosh, nodding towards how empty of stakes the wagon Joe was using as a handcart was becoming. “Making progress,” Joe replied, straightening. He nodded towards the full wagon Big Macintosh was pulling. “Looks like you managed to get plenty off those trees.” “Eee’yup. Good section of orchard. Sturdy trees, lots of apples.” Joe nodded again and lent his hammer against his leg so he could wipe his brow. “Thirsty work?” Big Macintosh asked, happy for Joe to pause and happy to take the chance to pause himself. “Continuous, doesn’t take long per stake but it’s one long job… not like the trees with rot where…” Joe stopped as he suddenly remembered something and wondered how he could have forgotten, even with Twilight Sparkle having gained wings and royal status to drive it from his mind. “Eee’yup,” agreed Big Macintosh, “get one of those on th’ wagon and that’s one part done, or the applebucking, do things one bit of orchard at a time.” “Though thinking of the trees with rot reminds me, I should have asked you about cider.” “Oh?” “I lost a bet, so I need to buy a barrel and your stash was mentioned.” “Hrm,” nodded Big Macintosh, “ah do keep the good stuff, add the little extra and let it ferment a touch longer and try a thing or two.” “Very good cider.” “Eee’yup, don’t travel or store well though, unlike th’ normal stuff. Not that th’ normal stuff needs to go far or don’t get drunk at once with th’ Ponies around here when we have ah cider day.” “So,” Joe asked, “have you got one of your small barrels you can sell me?” “Hmm,” mused Big Macintosh again. “Ah don’t have any full barrels. Last couple th’ things didn’t work that well so ah got rid of it so ah could reuse th’ barrels to try again. So ah’ve only got ones ah’ve taken a few mugs from already.” “Okay.” “Ah could sell you one as ah do have a few going with a recipe that ah know works, drink rather than trying things,” continued Big Macintosh, “but ah’d rather let them stand a week or so longer rather than them be drunk now.” “Fair enough,” Joe nodded. “I can wait.” “Maybe so,” smiled Big Macintosh, “but can Rainbow Dash?” “Is it that obvious who I’d have had the bet with?” Joe chuckled. “Eee’yup. Even if she wasn’t as keen on cider as she is.” “Did your sister mention Dash and myself getting ambushed by a ‘Joe has a marefriend’ banner?” “Eee’yup.” “Still a little strange…” Joe began, then he looked at Big Macintosh. “Though not as strange as something else…” == A wave of Ponies pranced through the streets of Ponyville singing, some of them playing instruments, and the beating of some drums keeping rhythm as they celebrated. The announcement by the Major had been almost superfluous as a visit and declaration by Princess Celestia would have been enough for the word of what had happened to Twilight Sparkle to spread throughout the town. Having Royal Guards declare there was going to be a coronation when inviting their other local heroes had finished the job. However the Mayor felt that sometimes she did need to make a speech to compensate for all the paperwork she suffered with her job, and a town meeting was as good a way to start things off as anything. To the annoyance of Rarity this partying had been briefly joined by Pinkie Pie before, protesting that she just wanted to fire one more barrage from her Party Cannon, she was dragged back to the Carousel Boutique for more dress fitting. == “So, what you finding strange now Joe?” Big Macintosh asked helpfully. “That I have a marefriend, and you don’t.” “Ah’ve never been much of one for dating,” shrugged Big Macintosh. “Keep myself to myself.” “That was what I was doing,” Joe smiled, “and even if it wasn’t strange because I’m a human it would still be strange because you are you.” “Ah don’t quite follow?” “You’re a huge hunk of quiet dependable strength, as the saying goes you have muscles in places most don’t even have places…” “That sounds a mite bizarre, but ah get what you mean.” “Of course,” Joe admitted, “you might have a marefriend. I’ve not been so chatty about Dash, and if you’ve had the sense to not get involved with one of your sister’s closest friends then I’d likely have not heard.” “Hmm, ah might or ah might not. Which ain’t me trying to be vague, just that things are complex.” “I’ll settle for the maybe, though if you want to talk I can keep things quiet.” Big Macintosh nodded. “Have you heard of a Love Poison?” “Spike mentioned a love potion and Twilight corrected him that it was a poison, but heard nothing else.” “Mah sister, mah littlest one ah mean, and her friends thought that Miss Cheerilee needed a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day. And were a mite impatient when they set mahself and Miss Cheerilee up and we didn’t immediately fall ta passion.” “Ouch,” Joe winced. “But you did when they used this thing on you?” “Eee’yup, or rather fell ta being rather… gooey. Fortunately it wasn’t an… ah what’s th’ word?” “Aphrodisiac?” “Iffen that means summat that makes you want ta find a place ta do more than you’d want ta do in public, then eee’yup. Though when ah remembered the pet names we were calling each other ah wasn’t so sure that th’ other would have been much more embarrassing, though a lot less decent.” “You and Cheerilee seemed comfortable together at the library?” “Eee’yup, has been a while since that. Get on fine. But taking things as slow as we’d have done before, or slower. A few dates here and there and see whether want to do more than talk and enjoy th’ company. Not really enough ta say we’re being special someponies, but enough that if either of us found a special somepony then we’d have to stop.” “While things seem the opposite for me, seeing where things are going but only one date and happening quite fast.” “Eee’yup.” == The Unicorn drew herself up and looked down over the top of her glasses with a sniff. This student displeased her and she was sure she could feel more grey entering her mane the more questions she was asked. It was not important why things were done that way, simply to know that they were and that this was what should be done. Before she could voice her disdain though she was interrupted. “Thy attitude is unwelcome, thee may depart, and shalt not be called upon again.” “I…” the Unicorn began, turning to look at Princess Luna and the bun of her mane wobbling a little with the turn. Then she met the eyes of the Goddess of the Moon and wilted. And cringed, and bowed, and retreated from the room with far more haste than dignity as despite all her years of lecturing she forgot the etiquette of a polite departure. Princess Luna looked to Twilight Sparkle, her gaze instantly softening. “Thy sister in law Cadance has taught you well how thee can remain calm, but on occasion the best way to remain calm is to remove the annoyance.” “Did you have to scare her though?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “Love and compassion is important, as I learned to my cost when I lost sight of those, but feeling compassion for the stupidity of others is not the same as having to tolerate it. Fear is not the same as respect, but if no respect is given then fear may allow a mistake to be realised the sooner.” “So, what now?” “Now we let her think about what has transpired. I expect her pride will struggle against apology, but despite her lapse she is a fine tutor and once she appreciates why was inappropriate to treat you like a stupid filly she may regain Our favour. And thine.” “I wasn’t offended though,” Twilight Sparkle argued. “And so thee should not have been,” nodded Princess Luna, “but though no personal offence should be taken thy new status is worthy of defence. Thy brother would not have tolerated insubordination as Captain of the Royal Guard and until someone earns the right to treat with thee on a personal level nor should you accept this as a Princess.” Twilight Sparkle reluctantly nodded. She didn’t want anypony to be scared of her and didn’t want to be set apart from others, especially not her friends, but she had seen the difference between how Princess Celestia acted as a Princess and as ‘just’ herself. “So, what now?” Twilight Sparkle repeated. “Now we continue thy tutelage for a space longer, and thence to the depths of the Castle so Tia can show thee something.” == Large strange shaped balloons bobbed above the park and more than one Pony in the crowd wondered if that was due to the wind or more likely the hot air rising from the Mayor of Manehatten as he droned through his speech. Most of them were ignoring him as they’d heard the news, and getting snacks and taking the chance to get some flirting and chatting done seemed a far better use of their time. But at least while he was talking they knew they weren’t going to miss anything important. On the stage the fat Pony turned to the next page of his notes and even his advisers and the Ponies they had planted in the front rows of the audience had problems keeping their expressions so any newspaper photographs would show another raptly attended to speech. == Winona tugged and weaved and did her best to show that humans were stable enough, even with only two legs, to be able to withstand doggy pulling. Joe gave her lead a bit of a jerk and bestowed a slight frown when Winona looked at him in response, though the puppy eyes were hard to frown at. She seemed to get the message and calmed down a little as they made their way through Ponyville towards the Carousel Boutique. This was not much distance for Winona to walk but she, and Big Macintosh, had seemed happy that she should accompany Joe for that small exercise. To Joe’s surprise a pair of armoured Pegasi were standing outside Rarity’s shop. Hoping that everything was alright he continued his approach and as he almost reached them and prepared to speak they suddenly unfurled a wing each to form a barrier across the doorway. Joe drew his head back at the suddenness of the motion and Winona tilted hers to one side to assess what shiny-metal-wing-ponies had done. “Halt,” said one. “Who goes there?” the other finished. “I am pretty distinctive around these parts,” smiled Joe. “Awuff,” Winona agreed, only tall-thing she knew of. “Has there been a problem?” continued Joe. “No problem.” “Go about your business.” “Glad to, once you get your wings out of the way,” nodded Joe. “No entry.” “Then I can’t go about my business,” replied Joe, “since I assume at least Rarity is inside and she’s one person I need to speak to.” “Not our concern.” “They are not to be disturbed.” “What do you think, Winona?” Joe asked, looking at the Collie. “Arf?” replied Winona, waiting for Joe to be more specific. “We could argue, we could plead, we can go get a cake each at Sugarcube Corner and write a note…” “Ah’d rather you didn’t feed mah dog cake,” Applejack interrupted, having opened the door. “And get yer wings out of the way fellers.” “Yes Ma’am,” nodded one guard, before they both furled their wings again. “Thank you gentlecolts,” Joe said with a slight head bow to them. “Grruff,” said Winona, trying to convey the message that even she didn’t herd things that way, as she was Collie not Corgi, their heels had begun to look tasty. Joe and Winona entered the boutique before the guards changed their mind about admitting them, or Winona changed her mind about biting, and to Joe’s pleasure he could see all six of the people he’d wanted to see. With Winona to track he’d have soon found them but he was concerned now there might be more guards at other places. Seeing his arrival Rainbow Dash gave him a brilliant smile. “Hold still,” Rarity hissed, “attack the special somehuman later.” “Humans like attacking from a distance,” Joe said, smiling back to Rainbow Dash and then blowing her a kiss. “Joe! Joe! Joe!” greeted Pinkie Pie. “And Winona!” “Arf,” Winona replied, dropping to the floor and rolling to gain immediate Pinkie-love on her tummy. “Hmm,” said Rarity, looking at Joe now she’d finished some pinning together of things on Rainbow Dash. “A dog but no bag.” “Bag?” Joe asked. “You know, a thing you can carry formal trousers and boots in?” smiled Rarity. “You’re not going to Canterlot tomorrow are you?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking disappointed. “Well, no, not been invited. And you’d all be busy all morning with rehearsals and all afternoon and evening with the actual ceremony.” “You’re not still thinking you bring bad luck?” sighed Rainbow Dash. “Bad luck?” Applejack asked. “Joe’s name is actually Jonah,” said Pinkie Pie, “which was the name of a man who refused to go and preach, and so a great storm nearly sank a ship, and so name became a term for someone who brings misfortune by their presence.” “Oh dear,” Fluttershy said sympathetically as she finished a seam. “What?” asked Joe, looking down at the Pink Mare as she continued rubbing a forehoof across a happy doggy belly. “I mentioned my name was Jonah rather than Joey when you called me the latter, but I didn’t say more than that.” “Lucky guess,” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “But, no, it’s not that,” continued Joe, looking back to Rainbow Dash, “you reassured me and I got the extra reassurance from Twilight when she said there wasn’t any hint of that destiny, or any other, in the magic she extracted from me.” “So, if you are not going to Canterlot though, as I said to the others, I am sure Fancy Pants could get you into a reception,” Rarity asked, “then why are you here to distract Rainbow with your presence and Pinkie with Applejack’s dog?” “Aruff,” agreed Winona, though she was not sure why it was only Pinkie Pie who was distracted by such a wondrous underside. “Because as you are all going to Canterlot all day tomorrow I thought I had better check if you needed petsitting. Though I am not sure where I’d look after them, my hut isn’t suitable and I can’t use the barn at Sweet Apple Acres as that’s in use for something.” “Our friend is being crowned as a Princess and you’re thinking about petsitting?” Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief. “Less worrying to think about than that I nearly messed up what seems to have been her final test before that. I am very pleased for her but it’s not like I have a place in this, so I may as well be useful.” “And I can’t petsit as I do have a place in this,” nodded Spike. “I…erm, have some Ponies who cover for me at my cottage,” Fluttershy said, as quiet as usual, “but if you look after the pets there then you could also look after my animals and then the Ponies can go.” “Thank you Fluttershy.” “Why are you thanking her?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You’re doing her the favour.” “I am thanking her for her trust in me,” smiled Joe. “I’d still rather you went,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “You’d not see any more of me if I did,” shrugged Joe. “And I’d not like the crowds even if I was the same shape as them.” “Okay,” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yay!” said Pinkie Pie, giving Winona’s tummy an extra burst of speed. “Gummy is going to be so happy!” Joe blinked, in an almost Gummy like manner, as he wondered how you could tell if the small crocodile was happy or sad. “I’ll stop by your cottage this evening Fluttershy,” he said rather than asking about Gummy, “get a list of everything I need to do tomorrow sorted.” “Checklists,” Spike snorted. “Getting as bad as Twilight.” “But I’d not make as good a Princess,” nodded Joe, “even if purple wings would suit me as well as they did her or would you.” == They had passed three pairs of guards and layers of security but for the last minute had seen nopony else. Princess Luna had exchanged hugs with her sister and then departed to deal with her own concerns so it was just Twilight Sparkle and her mentor walking along this corridor of polished stone, deep underground where no natural light could reach and their way lit only by Princess Celestia’s own radiance. Twilight Sparkle knew they had been walking for a short time but the silence and lack of anything but almost featureless walls and floor and ceiling made it seem far longer. Eventually Princess Celestia’s horn flared and what had appeared a dead end revealed itself to be a doorway as stone slid back within stone. A faint glow appeared and when they entered Twilight Sparkle saw this was coming from all the surfaces of the room. In the middle was a plinth and on it was a Crown she had never seen before but seemed very familiar. “H-oh!” Twilight Sparkle breathed. “The Element of Magic.” “When you completed Starswirl the Bearded’s spell,” explained Princess Celestia, “and the reaffirmation of your link with your friends caused the Elements of Harmony to flare and strike it was not just you that vanished and was affected. Your Element was channelled here and into this raw shell. The glow you see is but the remnants of the magic that surged within this chamber.” “So… I am still the Holder of the Element of Magic?” Twilight Sparkle asked nervously. “Of cou… oh Twilight.” Princess Celestia moved closer to her student to press reassuringly against her. “Did you think you were being replaced?” “I no longer had my Element,” Twilight Sparkle said, looking up at her, “and I did have these wings, and you said I was now a Princess…” “And your friends’ love for you remains intact, as does mine,” smiled Princess Celestia, “so I am truly sorry that you have been worried.” “Sorry?” “I had intended a surprise, but early this morning all your friends were invited to Canterlot to take part in your coronation. As we speak dear Rarity is trying to corral them and ensure they all look fabulous.” “They are going to be there?” “Of course, would you be happy otherwise?” “I am happy now,” Twilight Sparkle said, tears of joy and relief dampening her eyes. “Then let us leave this place and this crown, until it is time for you to formally receive it.” == Once Joe had excused himself from the Carousel Boutique and ordered his extra weights from the smith he had returned to Sweet Apple Acres where Granny Smith had said she’d let Winona bother her for a while. By which she meant enjoy having the company of her elder granddaughter’s dog while she continued with what she was doing. Joe had rolled up his sleeves and was busy with some axle-grease. This came off skin better than it did out of fur and as magical as Pony Hooves were Joe’s fingers were narrower so he could push the grease into tighter crevices. The wagon was up on blocks so the wheel was off the ground and Joe gave it a little spin to spread the grease, listen for the squeak, and see if the rotation hitched at any point. “Looks fixed,” Big Macintosh commented. “Was pulling a mite on that side.” “I’ll grease the other wheel as well,” nodded Joe, resisting the temptation to scratch his forehead. “Keep them even.” “Eee’yup.” “I said to Granny Smith but I’ll say to you as well, I’m petsitting at Fluttershy’s cottage tomorrow.” “Eee’yup, makes sense. Job needs doing and she has a mess of critters.” “Hopefully not a mess,” Joe chuckled. “I’ll have Winona to help keep order, but if she arrives with a frantic sounding note…” “Then ah’ll be there as soon as ah can.” “Thanks.” “And thank you, Joe.” “What for?” Joe asked, standing and wiping his hands on a greasy cloth. “For getting Pinkie Pie off this farm and getting mah sister back on it, so both were happier.” “I’m… not sure that…” Joe began. “Ah know, th’ wider thing of the Elements of Harmony and all,” interrupted Big Macintosh. “But ah still appreciate what you tried to do for them and th’ others, so ah thank you for it.” Joe nodded. “That means a lot to me.” Big Macintosh nodded back and plodded off. Joe stood a moment longer and then moved around to the other side of the wagon with his pot. As he sat and dipped his fingers into the grease he gave a slight smile. It hadn’t seemed like Big Macintosh and Granny Smith had been upset by the delay to the full cure but was still good to know that Big Macintosh was happy enough to thank him. Joe continued to work and spread the grease and press it around the wheel and axle and as he did he noticed a trio of fillies approaching the barn. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were chatting happily to each other, and didn’t look worried about being seen, so it didn’t appear they were doing anything wrong. Joe shrugged to himself as they entered the barn. It looked as if he’d cleared it for them and, as they had been quite keen to find out if he knew why he’d cleared it, that this might be a secret from him. Suppressing the temptation to go and find out what it was Joe just kept working.