Last night had been quite pleasant. Joe had been too late to help with the animal feeding but not too late to help with the cooking. Fluttershy had dithered slightly but once she had been able to start advising Joe on the differences between a good meal for him and a good meal for a Pony she had calmed down. It had been interesting to her that Joe had been able to stomach a ‘normal’ meal and she’d been able to give him some advice on other ways than cheese or ‘kibble’ to add extra protein. The advice had been appreciated by Joe, the help by Fluttershy, and that she’d not needed to cook by Rainbow Dash.
Angel Bunny of course had been less appreciative. He’d not thought much of Rainbow Dash being there to distract ‘his’ pony from serving him and to prevent him from motivating her properly with carrot throws and other means. That there was a third guest for dinner, a fourth if you counted Tank, was nigh intolerable. Even more so when he’d thought he’d a chance to strike with a quarter carrot while ‘his’ pony was not watching and this ‘human’ had caught it on the way to his face and thrown it back, hard and accurate.
Declining an invitation to stay and sleep on the sofa Joe had excused himself after dinner to see about his own evening and nightly chores. These had to be slightly modified though as not only was he still waiting for a new archery target he now couldn’t run through drills with his shield and spear and no longer had any armour to don to remain accustomed to its weight in his practice. He’d lingered by his shelf of maps and notes and wondered how long it would be before he’d have a chance to add to those, and if the lack of armour or gaining permission from Rainbow Dash was the larger obstacle. Then he’d slept.
Now trying to ignore the multicoloured splendour of the bag he was carrying Joe continued through the streets of Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle had asked him to be at the Golden Oaks Library early today but with how late the research had gone the day before yesterday it seemed better to deal with this first. Hopefully things were calming down and his altered clothes would be ready and today would be as relatively calm as yesterday. Joe suppressed a chuckle as he realised how blasé that sounded, he’d lost his armour to a Sun Goddess and had to roam the Everfree without it and that was calm?
Joe turned up the street and towards the Carousel Boutique. There were not that many Ponies about at this time of day but to Joe’s surprise a few actually said ‘Good Morning’. Which panicked him slightly as he tried to remember when he’d spoken to them before. He was getting better at telling the difference between Pony faces and the variety of colour of fur helped, but the Cutie Marks were almost useless. Everypony might have their own individual mark that was often a clue to their name, but it would be even more obvious to lean to one side to look at that then it would to look at a human’s name badge on their shirt at an event.
“Joe!” Rarity greeted as he entered her shop. “How have you been?”
“That’s my question,” smiled Joe. “How are you holding up?”
“Doing well, darling. Twilight had some fascinating books on the weather and pictures of different patterns.”
Joe nodded. “So you’re, erm…”
“Erm?”
“Getting the feeling that you like weather, but sort of… translating… that into dresses?”
“Translating is not quite the right word, but letting your sweetheart’s Cutie Mark inspire me a little.”
“Does seem you are all getting inspired,” Joe nodded again, “learning from the strangeness rather than ignoring it. Though hopefully they’ll be back where they belong soon, Twilight seems inspired even without having a misplaced destiny.”
“She did seem to be onto something last night,” agreed Rarity, having spent another night at the library. “But what can I do for you?”
“Come to pick up the rest of my shirts and trousers,” Joe said, holding up the bag, “and to return this, with thanks.”
“Not too colourful for you?” teased Rarity, taking the bag with a glow of blue magic.
“I like colourful things.”
“Like Rainbow?”
“Like rainbows, yes,” Joe replied, deliberately mishearing as Rarity hung her bag on a peg.
“Not what I said, darling, but never mind. Come along.”
Joe came along and followed Rarity into the back room where he saw his bag and the stacks of shirts and trousers. He opened the former and began neatly packing the clothes away into it. As he finished and before he could close the bag up Rarity’s horn glowed again and another garment floated across and almost into Joe’s face. He took it and ‘hmm’ed.
“A new waistcoat?” Joe said, insightfully.
“And I have made you a new formal shirt as well,” nodded Rarity, floating that across to settle on top of Joe’s bag.
“Appreciated, but…”
“But you’ll argue the tear in the old one would be under the waistcoat anyway?”
“No, well actually yes, but I was thinking how the last formal event went. So at least there’d been no rush and at most there’d been no need.”
“I have also cleaned your jacket,” said Rarity, ignoring this statement, “which I am glad you took off before fighting.”
“I might need some new trousers or some help with them,” Joe replied. “I have washed the ones I kept on while fighting but the grass stains on the knees were pretty ground in and they are not as white as they were. Also polished the formal boots but not managed the same lustre.”
“So you are optimistic you’ll need them?”
Joe chuckled. “If I was that optimistic then I’d have tried washing and polishing a few more times rather than leaving them as clean but not that good.”
“Chin up, dear,” Rarity chided good-naturedly. “You made a good impression on Fancy Pants and if Princess Luna had been truly angry with you then you would certainly have known.”
“If she shows her annoyance as clearly as her sister does then I’d say so,” smiled Joe, packing the shirt and waistcoat away. “Though I do wonder if I should buy a hat.”
“A hat?”
“Shade my face and the back of my neck in case Princess Celestia decides I’m still annoying enough to sunburn, even if not to do something more drastic to.”
“Or she could just make you warmer and sweatier and smellier,” twinkled Rarity.
“Hrm,” Joe replied, balancing the pain and itchiness of sunburn against the embarrassment of sweatiness and deciding on the latter. “Still, might still buy a hat and probably make it a slouch hat rather than like Applejack’s. People in the country they wear those call us folks from the mother country ‘Pommies’, so would be fitting as we’re pommies and you’re ponies.”
Rarity giggled demurely. “Maybe one day you’ll meet a pommie pony?”
“With your accent I thought I already had, for a while. But I had best be to the library, once I’ve paid for these.”
“Of course, darling,” nodded Rarity, leading him from the backroom and to her desk with her bills and accounts. “And if you give me a sketch of the hat then I’ll see what I can do.”
“No rush.”
There was not much point in showing Joe his bill as he neither had the knowledge or the inclination to quibble. The cost of the materials, the time the work should take, and what would be a fair hourly rate were things he had only the vaguest knowledge of at best. Moreover since Rarity was a friend he trusted those to be fair and would not want to insult her with mistrust. But Rarity did have customers who needed this sort of detail as without everything being itemised they were inclined to try to haggle and argue about the total.
Having paid the total at the bottom of the bill and thanked Rarity for her excellent work Joe made his sketch, explaining that as well as the pommies / ponies joke he’d been thinking of the practical advantage that as you could fold up the side of the brim of those it wouldn’t get in the way of his bowstring. A quick talk about Velcro and metal poppers and buttons later he left to make his way to the library. As he walked he essayed a few ‘Good Morning’s and although a couple of Ponies seemed startled most returned these, even if they had to blink in surprise first.
The great tree of the Golden Oaks Library soon came into view and Joe involuntarily paused. With the day being so pleasant he wasn’t looking forward to another round of explanations of all the ways in which things were more complex to cure thanks to him, but he set himself back in motion as he did owe the help with that complexity. Swinging his bag down off his shoulder Joe pushed the library door open and entered.
“Hello Spike.”
“Hello Joe,” nodded Spike, a pinny around his waist and a feather duster in his hand.
“Twilight around?” Joe asked, moving towards his usual table and sliding his bag under it.
“Yes,” said Twilight Sparkle. Joe turned and nodded to her, but her eyes were on Spike. “I’ll be in the basement, running tests. Don’t let anyone disturb me.”
“Okay Twilight.”
“Tests on me?” Joe said, looking worried.
“Yes,” replied Twilight Sparkle, her tone and expression not making Joe feel less worried.
They went down into the basement where Twilight Sparkle asked Joe to sit and put his left wrist through in a strap on a table, which she tightened to restrain that hand. Then her horn glowed and a matching purple surrounded Joe’s hand for a moment before that glow ballooned out slightly. It floated away from Joe’s hand and as Twilight released her magical hold Joe thought he saw a blob of something transparent left behind, before that faded as well.
“Ouch,” Joe commented, flexing his hand against the pins-and-needles sensation. That had hurt enough it would have been nice to be warned.
“That looked clear,” said Twilight Sparkle to herself, “and it was clear…”
“Okay…”
Remembering she had an audience rather than a test object Twilight Sparkle looked to Joe and began to explain. “You know the problem is that you released the power that could have been used to cure my friends?”
“Our friends, but yes.”
“Sorry,” Twilight Sparkle blushed. “Well, the obvious thing to try would be to replace that power, but I can’t. Whatever power I or anypony else tries to use is tied to our destiny, which is why the spell never worked for Starswirl the Bearded.”
Joe nodded and decided to risk mentioning something. “Princess Celestia did say that her power would be of less use than your knowledge of our friends.”
“Her power and that of Princess Luna is tied to their nature and destiny as Goddesses,” agreed Twilight Sparkle, “and Princess Celestia did mention that Discord’s power was hampered by him being unable to make things more orderly…” She paused and gave Joe a look. “Though I think you knew that.”
“I’ll admit it would make sense,” Joe said, trying to not confirm or deny, “but what did you mean by clear?”
“Humans do not have the same sort of destiny as Ponies, so any magic inside them is not ‘coloured’ by that.”
“And we don’t normally have magic,” Joe nodded, scratching at his left wrist either side of the strap. “But I think I suspect where this is going.”
“The magic myself and Zecora gave you is not tied to a destiny so it can be used,” confirmed Twilight Sparkle.
“Do Ponies have blood types and transfusions?” Joe asked, making Twilight Sparkle look puzzled at the shift of topic. He shrugged as best he could with one hand restrained. “Never mind, sounds like I’m a universal donor. Which is a relief.”
“A relief?”
“As I said to Dash my full name is Jonah…” said Joe, explaining the story and the connotations.
“There was no sign of that in the magic I extracted,” Twilight Sparkle reassured him as he finished, “so if there is a truth in your fear then it has not affected that, and more likely no truth.”
“Good,” sighed Joe. “So you drain me, which will hurt but that’s fine, and boost our friends?”
“And then with that power I can cure them and the others.”
Joe smiled. “And then you put me on the treadmill and see how well I do without the magic, so you have a baseline for normal human performance…”
“Maybe,” Twilight Sparkle replied, managing a weaker smile in return.
“Then after that I get some more potions, and you can see how much that improves me again.”
“Er… yes,” Twilight Sparkle admitted, “but maybe not to the same extent, or at all.”
“Oh?”
“You were unconscious but we did give you a lot of magic and potions after you were mauled, and those were experimental ones…”
“Right…”
“And even we managed to make the same potions again and gave you those and the same magic they might not affect you the same way,” Twilight Sparkle continued, “as they’d be working on a healthy body rather than one that was reacting to having been mauled…”
“So,” nodded Joe, “I’ll be permanently weakened?”
“And maybe completely,” Twilight Sparkle nodded back. “I can’t even guarantee the treatment we gave you before you were mauled will work again. Ponies can overstrain themselves and it would be more like trying to cure that than what we did…”
“Okay,” interrupted Joe. “When do we start and what do I need to do?”
“Joe…” Twilight Sparkle began, then she sighed at his expression. “Okay, just stay there for now.”
“Not got much choice,” smiled Joe, looking down at his wrist.
“Oh, sorry,” Twilight Sparkle blushed, her horn glowing briefly to unfasten the strap.
Joe rubbed his wrist. “I suppose it would keep me out of trouble if I’m as much weaker as I might be.”
“Mmm-hmm,” nodded Twilight Sparkle, turning away and starting to gather her notes in glows of horn magic.
“Or be a test,” Joe continued, starting to feel nervous now he was committed, “like they keep giving those heroes I keep mentioning…”
“Might need to test you,” nodded Twilight Sparkle, picking up on that word, “make sure enough power inside you.”
“Okay.”
“Right, so if I arrange this…”
“Rather a cliché to take away their powers,” Joe muttered to himself, then he smiled and raised his voice again. “Though at least I have an analogy to cling to.”
Twilight Sparkle sighed and turned. She really did want to concentrate on her work, but if talking made Joe feel better than she should listen a little. “I am sure it is not as close as you think.”
“Maybe not,” Joe shrugged, “even if my arm goes bad I’d not be as badly off as the hero. He was rather a sickly person before, so he had more obstacles to overcome when he lost the effects of his treatment.”
“Hmm,” nodded Twilight Sparkle, turning back away again.
“Though maybe a closer analogy than you think,” Joe continued, to her irritation, “as that treatment was also experimental and hard to duplicate, and does sound similar to that potion Dash stole.”
“What?” snapped Twilight Sparkle, whirling away from her notes and even dropping a couple.
Joe gave her a baffled look, he’d realised he was being tuned out and that he was talking more to himself. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders mentioned a potion you made that enhanced a Pony’s special ability, and I said that sounded similar to the Super Soldier Serum that enhanced this hero…”
“What effects did it have?” Twilight Sparkle asked, floating a pad and pen up to make notes.
“Well, it is fictional,” blinked Joe, “but I think first they just said physical perfection, then in the film they had it enhancing the man’s nature, so was important to choose a good man who would remain good…”
“Right…” Twilight Sparkle frowned, pen jotting on pad, “humans don’t have destinies, but they do have true selves?”
“It might just have been that rather than the treatment actually enhancing it in the film, that the extra strength and ability would cause the person to reveal what they were inside. There is the saying however that you are what you are when you are alone in the dark. When nobody can see you and you can do anything without consequence, that is the test of whether you can hold true to what you believe and what you should be.”
Joe paused as he considered what it said about him that it was a web-video he was remembering first, of a hero making a sacrifice even though nobody would ever know or care, rather than the ancient philosophical conundrum of a ring of invisibility.
“Joe,” Twilight Sparkle said gently, seeing him sag slightly, “I need to run another test.”
“Okay…” nodded Joe, pushing aside memories of sad stories.
There was a large and slightly kinky looking framework with restraints and, declining to comment about the similarity in pose to the drawing by Leonardo da Vinci, Joe pushed his sleeves back so the arm restraints were on flesh rather than loose cloth. The restraints clicked into place around his wrists and boots and Joe tugged a little to make sure they were secure enough he didn’t need to be worried about falling over.
“I hope Dash doesn’t come and tickle me…”
“Sorry Joe.”
“What fo…”
Twilight Sparkle’s horn blazed and threw shadows across the basement, enough of a shock for Joe to stop talking even before the glow surrounded him as well. For a moment he wasn’t sure what was supposed to be happening but then he saw the first hints of transparent energy flowing from him and the first prickles of pain. Then more pain as that energy was reabsorbed into him, and yet more as it began to flow out of and back into other parts of his body. Joe’s breathing became irregular as flashes of agony interrupted him in mid breath and he gasped. Then the glow from Twilight Sparkle’s horn intensified even more…
==
Spike and Owlowiscious looked at each other. Spike blinked and Owlowiscious blinked back and added a hoot. “Hwhoo?”
“Joe, that’s who…”
“Hhhhwhoooo!” Owlowiscious frowned.
“All right, I know what you meant,” admitted Spike, “but I can see why Twilight told me to not let anyone disturb her if she was going to make Joe scream.”
“Hwhooo?” Owlowiscious asked.
“I trust Twilight.”
“Hwheoo,” Owlowiscious agreed.
==
The glow had faded and Joe took several deep breaths, feeling the prickle of sweat on his brow, and then took several more deep breaths. That had been horrible and if Twilight Sparkle wasn’t looking so surprised then he’d be feeling vengeful. Or more vengeful as the pain had awoken the instinct to hurt something back. A few more deep breaths and Joe decided to try to talk.
“Ah… whoa… f…” Joe managed to say before coughing. “Yike,” he added, wiping at his brow. Then he looked at his right hand he had just done that with and then up at the restraint.
“That was unexpected,” admitted Twilight Sparkle.
“The pain or this hand being free?” Joe gasped, starting to feel a burn from the scratches and gouges on his wrist and a twinge in his left shoulder as he almost hung from that arm with how weak his legs felt.
“Both. It hadn’t seemed to hurt you that much before.”
“Didn’t hurt as much when it just a hand, and when the magic wasn’t flowing back into me again. So was unexpected for me as well and I’m glad I didn’t pee myself…” Joe looked at his wrist again and the blood starting to appear. “Got a bandage?”
“Here,” Twilight Sparkle said, floating a bandage across and wrapping it around and over the wounds.
“Thank you…”
“Joe,” Twilight Sparkle said hesitantly, “I’m going to need some blood.”
“You got some,” teased Joe, gesturing with his right hand.
“Sorry… I mean…”
“Ah, go ahead.”
“Thanks,” Twilight Sparkle replied, floating a syringe across. Joe watched this and vaguely wondered as he regained control of his breathing where the tourniquet strap to help make the blood vessels more prominent was. Then the syringe dipped and he felt a sudden pain in the meat of his rear.
“You know,” commented Joe mildly, “when I’ve had a blood test they tend to go for the arm.”
“They do?” Twilight Sparkle asked, hesitating as she floated the syringe full back towards her.
“Never mind,” smiled Joe.
Twilight Sparkle nodded and with a brief horn flash the restraints clanked open, then another brief horn flash steadied Joe when he nearly lost his balance without their support. “If you can wait upstairs, I may be a couple of hours…”
“I’ll wait,” shrugged Joe. “I want to run away, but I’ll wait.”
==
A lot more than a couple of hours had passed. Rainbow Dash had arrived while Joe was helping Spike with a few chores, had left to give her own help to Fluttershy at lunchtime, and had then returned. A brief debate about the origin of clouds had been ended by Spike as Joe argued for a cycle of evaporation, condensation, and precipitation and Rainbow Dash for Pegasus powered waterspouts and production in Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash and Joe had agreed to differ on this and Spike and Rainbow Dash had agreed on a better use for Joe than helping with more library chores. So now Joe was sitting, hard floorboards against the syringe prick on his rear, and his marefriend happily sprawled across his lap as the conversation moved onto the human version of Daring Do.
“So…” Rainbow Dash asked. “This thing would give great power to an army?”
“Make them invincible,” nodded Joe, fingertips idly rubbing Rainbow Dash between the shoulders.
“But the humans after it were enemies of the humans whose ancestors had used it?”
“So it has been suggested they should have been allowed to have it so they could open it at a big rally with all their leaders present…”
“Joe. Good. You’re still here,” interrupted Twilight Sparkle.
“Hi Twi!” Rainbow Dash greeted, raising her head briefly before settling again.
“Twilight, how did things go?” asked Joe.
“Rainbow, you have a very lucky special somehuman…”
“Of course she does,” Joe commented, “he’s hers.”
“Beat me to it,” muttered Rainbow Dash.
“And it was a good thing you took that potion and the Cutie Mark Crusaders mentioned it to him…”
“I did wonder if was one of the things you’d given him,” Rainbow Dash commented.
“No,” said Twilight Sparkle, “so he is even more fortunate.”
Rainbow Dash turned her head to look up at Joe. “You have any idea what she is talking about? She’s sounding as vague as when you tried to avoid answering questions.”
“I still don’t like to say too much about some things, but…”
“I’ll explain it to all of you at once,” Twilight Sparkle interrupted, again. “Spike, can you go get Rarity. Rainbow, Applejack and Fluttershy. And Joe, you can go and get Pinkie. I have a few last preparations to make.”
“I was comfy,” complained Rainbow Dash as Twilight Sparkle turned and trotted back into the basement.
“I was getting cramp,” Joe admitted.
Rainbow Dash sat up and brushed her lips across Joe’s in a quick light kiss before moving fully off his lap so he could stand and stretch. Then she smiled up at him. “I bet I can get AJ and Fluttershy before you can get Pinkie.”
“I bet you can get to them both before I get to Sugarcube Corner,” Joe replied, “but getting them here first? What do you want to bet?”
“A barrel of Cider, I know Big Macintosh has a stash and he’d share it with you.”
“Okay,” Joe nodded, “what do I get if I win?”
Rainbow Dash grinned and then took off to hover so she could whisper in Joe’s ear. As she spoke Joe started to blush as red as the monkey he’d mentioned and by the time she’d finished his ears were approaching the colour of beetroot. Rainbow Dash pulled back a little, looked at the results of her words, and then swooped up and out of the open balcony doors.
“Joe?” Spike said as he continued to just stand there.
“I… ah…” began Joe before looking to Spike. “Apparently I’d win the effects sharing a barrel of cider would have on her. Whether technically I won or not.”
“And you are still here?”
“Good point. I’m not sure if you are saying I should be trying to win, trying to lose, or trying to flee, but good point.”
==
By the time Joe reached Sugarcube Corner his complexion had dimmed to no longer be as pink as the Mare he was going to fetch. Sounds of happy chatter wafted through the windows and out the door and Joe wondered if he’d been denying himself by treating this place as just a bakery rather than somewhere to sit and spend some time relaxing. Though sitting alone would have not been much fun he knew that, unlike a cafe back on his world, Sugarcube Corner had a Pinkie Pie to make it much more cheerful.
“Hello Joe,” Mr Cake greeted.
“Hello Mr Cake, is Pinkie around?”
“She’s just upstairs, dear,” Mrs Cake supplied.
Joe nodded. “Twilight wants to see her about the cure for having apples rather than balloons.”
“Go on up then…” Mr Cake said.
“And good luck,” finished Mrs Cake.
“Thanks.”
Joe went upstairs and to his relief the door to Pinkie Pie’s room was fairly obvious and he could hear her talking to Gummy. So without getting lost or risking the horror of accidentally waking tiny Cakes he was able to go and knock.
“Come Innnnnn,” Pinkie Pie sang.
After hesitating about if she’d said ‘come in’, so he should enter, or ‘coming’, so he should wait for her to admit him, Joe pushed the door open. Pinkie Pie grinned with her profusion of teeth and Gummy blinked and didn’t show his lack of any.
“Joe-eeey!”
“No, Pinkiemena,” Joe replied, retaliating with her full first name, “not Joey. Jonah. But preferably Joe.”
“Okie-dokie-Loki, Joe,” nodded Pinkie Pie, adding a slight ‘eeey’ to Gummy.
Ignoring this Joe continued. “Twilight wants you at the library, possibly time for the cure.”
“Ooooh! Back to balloons for me…” said Pinkie Pie. Then suddenly she sobered and her grin faded to ‘only’ a smile.
“Pinkie?”
“Joe, do you know I grew up on a rock farm?”
“A rock farm? Sounds, er…”
“Like a contrast with what I do and how I act?”
“I don’t know, I mean… you said you got your Cutie Mark because you wanted to share smiles…”
“And my family did share the smiles,” Pinkie Pie reassured him, “we were more concerned with hard work than parties, but they appreciated the effort.”
“Okay,” nodded Joe. “So a happy childhood?”
“Maybe a little monotonous, but they loved me. And still do.”
“Is there a but?” Joe asked, appreciating that Pinkie Pie trusted him enough to talk to him like he had to her.
“They love me, but I’m not sure they understand me. And in some ways this Cutie Mark suits my upbringing of hard steady work better, they’d be puzzled why I wanted to farm apples rather than rocks but not as puzzled as they are by my parties.”
Joe crouched and patted her shoulder. “With as quickly as the Ponies seemed to get unhappy it seems you cheering them up is a constant effort, which is hard steady work.”
“I know I work hard here,” Pinkie Pie glared, annoyed that Joe thought she needed reassurance about that. “There is a lot of planning and preparation in a proper party.”
“Hey, I wasn’t doubting it,” said Joe, holding up his hands and giving what he hoped was an appeasing smile. “And getting cakes freshly baked means early mornings. You do a fine job and thank you for all the cheering up you have given me.”
Pinkie Pie nodded and restored her normal smile. “I’m just not feeling as sure as I used to.”
“I’m not sure what you are saying Pinkie,” Joe admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “Sounds like more doubts than the others seem to be having, but…”
“I’m not sure either, but… it’s just, does this Cutie Mark make me feel this way or does my real one stop me from feeling that way?”
“I…” Joe began, then he shook his head. “I don’t know, but the other one is, as you say, your real one so maybe better to be cured and then decide if you want to make changes in your life?”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Tell Twilight I’ll be at the library soon.”
==
Applejack and Rainbow Dash thundered through the streets of Ponyville at a full gallop. The latter was determined to win the bet, even if she’d win either way, so she’d challenged Applejack to a hoof race. Hopefully Joe had stood there looking stunned for a while and she might be able to get Applejack there before Pinkie Pie. And if she did but Fluttershy hadn’t arrived before Pinkie Pie then she planned to argue the bet was a draw and still needed a barrel of cider.
Rainbow Dash started to edge ahead as they came round the final turn. Her wings twitched slightly as she had to control the urge to take off and gain more speed by reminding herself that would be a forfeit. Applejack began to close the gap and though Rainbow Dash was starting to feel the effort in her legs she used the motivation of knowing there was more than this one challenge at stake to help her put on another little extra burst of speed. To the relief of both racers a shape was seen at one window of the library and the door opened ahead of them.
“I win!” Rainbow Dash declared as she surged through the doorway.
“Good race, sugar cube,” agreed Applejack.
“And might win the bet,” Joe nodded, closing the door.
“What bet…” asked Applejack before looking suspiciously at Rainbow Dash. “Wait, is that why you challenged me to a race?”
Rainbow Dash grinned unrepentantly as she noted the lack of pinkness. Either fur and mane or just mane. “Now we have to see if Pinkie or Fluttershy gets here first…”
“Erm… I’m here,” Fluttershy said, “I just got here at the balcony.”
“Then Dash wins twice,” nodded Joe.
“Where is Pinkie Pie,” Twilight Sparkle sighed, tapping one forehoof in impatience and irritation that Joe had returned without her.
“As I said, she said she’d be here soon.”
“I wonder what could be keeping her,” Rarity commented.
“You know Pinkie…” shrugged Spike, metaphorically hovering with a teapot in case Rarity needed a refill.
A few minutes passed, during which Joe made admiring noises as Rainbow Dash described the race and Spike had the honour of topping up Rarity’s teacup, and then Pinkie Pie arrived. She gave them all a smile, but that it was not a grin, and her mane and tail were not at full puff, showed she was not quite on top form.
“Pinkie!” said Twilight Sparkle.
“I’m here,” Pinkie Pie replied, “what’s this about a cure?”
“You feeling okay, honey bun?” frowned Applejack.
“Of course I’m not,” Pinkie Pie replied, with a touch of the sarcasm stress, or Discord, could bring out in her. “I still have your Cutie Mark.”
“Fair enough,” nodded Applejack. She knew Pinkie Pie was likely not saying anything against the Cutie Mark, just its location.
“Now we are all here,” Twilight Sparkle said, drawing the attention of her friends and going on to explain what she’d told Joe about the magic in him being ‘clear’ and useable, and the risk that this magic would not be able to be replaced to the same extent or maybe not at all. To his embarrassment she mentioned he’d volunteered at once anyway.
“Wasn’t a big deal,” Joe shrugged as they looked at him and looked dubious after all the times he’d mentioned the significant effect of the magic on him.
“But I think you remember this…” continued Twilight Sparkle, floating a potion vial into view.
“I do!” Pinkie Pie said, getting closer to her normal bounce in happy memory. “Helped me save Dashie!”
“Helped me need to be saved,” admitted Rainbow Dash.
“I’ve checked with some blood samples,” Twilight Sparkle explained, “and as he’s not been given it before it will boost the magic inside Joe, even if he doesn’t have a destiny.”
“Ah,” Joe nodded, as Rainbow Dash also understood why Twilight Sparkle had said he was even more fortunate, “so more magic in me to drain and perhaps you won’t need to drain it all?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if I will drain just the extra, or more than that, or less than that,” admitted Twilight Sparkle, “and I am not sure what effect the potion will have on you before that extra magic is drained.”
“Okay,” Joe nodded again. “As I said before, when do we start and what do I need to do?”
“Whoa, wait…” interrupted Rainbow Dash, “is this something to do with why he’s got a bandaged wrist?”
“He… er…” Twilight Sparkle began.
Joe gave a quick headshake to her, taking advantage of the fact Rainbow Dash was intent on her rather than him. “I scraped myself earlier during the testing.”
“Ah, yes…” nodded Twilight Sparkle, “when I had the idea about the potion I had to make another check.”
Rainbow Dash turned, took off, and hovered to look Joe in the eyes. “Why did you scrape yourself?”
“I jerked my hand back as it hurt a little.”
“Sugar cube, if it’s going to hurt more than a little then you need to say,” commented Applejack. “So we don’t get worried that things are going wrong.”
“He screamed,” Spike nodded. “Heard it from up here.”
“What?” hissed Rainbow Dash.
“Thank you Spike, you could at least have said ‘bellowed in pain’,” Joe smiled. “But it was more the surprise than anything else, and because the magic was flowing back into me rather than just out.”
“So if you can all come downstairs,” said Twilight Sparkle, “once I have given you your Elements…”
As Twilight Sparkle floated the Tiara onto her own head and began floating the other Elements of Harmony to click around the necks of their rightful Holders Rainbow Dash landed and looked up at Joe. He looked back at her, trying to appear calm and determined rather than scared, and hoping he at least looked scared and determined.
“I know this is mine,” Rarity commented, glancing down at her Element of Generosity, “but doesn’t feel quite right.”
“Mine feels more comfy,” nodded Applejack, “but ah did get that little extra help of some glow.”
Rainbow Dash glanced at her friends as a Butterfly floated to Fluttershy, and then muttered quietly to Joe. “Are you doing something stupid?”
“No,” Joe replied, equally quietly as a gemstone balloon settled around Pinkie Pie’s neck, “maybe something that will hurt, but not stupid.”
“Okay,” said Rainbow Dash, giving a reluctant nod and turning away to make it easier for Twilight Sparkle to give her the Element of Loyalty.
The Elements of Harmony in their places Twilight Sparkle led the way to and down into the basement. Five seats were arranged in a circle and dangling down into the middle of them was a rope with a parachute harness. They descended the stairs and looked at this for a moment before Twilight Sparkle floated the potion vial to Joe.
“Drink this and then get into that harness,” Twilight Sparkle said, sounding as if she was running through things one last time in her mind and adding a little belatedly, “please Joe.”
“Sure,” nodded Joe. He pulled out the stopper and slugged it back, glad that this was not an unpleasant flavour as was traditional for medicine or as might result from his sense of taste being different to Ponies’. Then he waited for any rush of strength and waited a moment more…
“Don’t worry,” Rainbow Dash reassured him, seeing his expression, “I didn’t feel anything until I tried to fly.”
“Ah well,” shrugged Joe, “better not try to find something to lift or throw and waste this on testing myself.”
Joe wandered across to the harness and took a moment to consider how to arrange himself. On a Pony those two straps would come round under the belly but did he want to stick a leg through one to sit on a strap and his arms through the other? It seemed that could be painful as the straps were not that wide and almost all of his weight would be on the one, so instead he stuck one arm through each loop and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed and the rope began to withdraw, the harness straps going taut and digging in a little under Joe’s armpits, and then his feet leaving the floor and him rising to dangle about his own height up.
“Sit down please girls,” Twilight Sparkle asked, moving into the circle to sit beneath Joe.
Trusting their friend they obeyed and each took a seat, Rainbow Dash giving Joe one last worried look as Spike sneaked in to watch what was going to happen from the top of the stairs. Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath and closed her eyes. As she exhaled her horn glowed a bright purple and a column of magic streaked up from it to surround Joe. He started to squirm a little and his jaw clenched as the glow around him built. Then a cone of this purple came back down from him and onto the others, as if Twilight Sparkle’s magic was the jet of a fountain folding back on itself.
For a moment nothing more happened and then Joe twitched as something seemed to fill the inside of the purple glow like water flowing between layers of coloured glass. Around the cone more intense arches of magic began to form and link Joe and the five Ponies on their seats. Joe felt his teeth grinding together and that he was beginning to sweat as more of the potion-boosted power flowed painfully out and down. A pulse of light ran around the base of the cone between the Ponies and the Elements around their necks flashed, then a second pulse and a second flash…
Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes, those glowing white and almost as intensely as her horn as she channelled more of her power into siphoning the energy from Joe. A third pulse of light flashed around the circle of her friends but this time it either continued going or was replaced by another each time it reached the point at which it had begun. This pulse, or pulses, began to accelerate and seeking something to distract him from the pain Joe tried to concentrate on how strange it was that there was no sound from this. It felt like there should be a ‘thrmmmm’ noise with that getting higher pitched as the pulse went faster and faster and that as the pulse began to blur into a single band of light that this should become a whining whistle.
Instead there was silence as the band formed and as the light began to also seep up the arches linking Joe and the others and, to a lesser degree, up the less intense sections of purple between them. On their seats the Ponies began to glow and around their necks the Elements of Harmony flickered towards their true colours, remaining correct longer and longer until it became more they were flickering away from that. Strange shadows were cast from the light of the band and the different coloured glows of the Ponies and their Elements. Then the Ponies eyes went wide and they jerked up on their seats and stared at nothing in sudden shock. There was a final flash and Twilight Sparkle slumped, her eyes closing, her Tiara and horn dimming, and the magic joining them all vanishing as the other five Ponies also slumped in reaction.
For several seconds Joe just dangled there looking down at them, the veins on his neck and forehead gradually becoming less prominent. He’d managed to not scream, this time, but his breathing sounded rather ragged. He tried to concentrate on making this deep and regular and normal sounding as well as on not passing out. The fact the others were so still was worrying so it was a relief when Spike trotted into view, and a great relief when Rainbow Dash stirred and looked up at him with a faint smile.
“Hey…” Joe croaked.
“Hey yourself.”
“Your bum looks nice.”
Rainbow Dash looked around at the part in question. “Yay,” she said, trying for enthusiasm, “right Cutie Mark.”
“That as well,” Joe nodded, attempting a friendly leer.
“Flatterer…”
“Everyone better?” Spike asked, checking Cutie Marks and that everypony was breathing and stirring.
“Looks like it from up here,” Joe nodded, glancing down below his feet, “can you move Twilight so I can get down? She still seems zonked.”
“I’m fine…” said Twilight Sparkle indistinctly, not doing more than move her lips that fraction.
“Ah’ll handle that,” Applejack said, making an effort and standing. “You help yer feller Rainbow.”
Applejack walked slowly over and shifted Twilight Sparkle across a little while Rainbow Dash flapped wearily up to help Joe. With her support he managed to lift himself, reaching above his head with his arms to grab the rope and haul, and get some slack in the harness. Fluttershy joined the effort and moved the loops of the harness from under Joe’s armpits and around the points of his elbows, holding them so Joe’s arms would just slip through. Joe glanced down and seeing floor rather than purple unicorn nodded.
“Okay, look out below.”
Rainbow Dash moved back and Joe let go of the rope and dropped and rather crumpled on landing, making sure he crumpled away from Twilight Sparkle and Applejack. He sat up but remained sitting and Rainbow Dash landed and gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting down beside him to lean her head companionably against his shoulder.
“Can you tell I’ve never done a parachute jump,” Joe commented, “but have a vague idea you need to roll to absorb the impact?”
“Remind me to never share a tandem harness with you,” smiled Rainbow Dash. “Even if it’s becoming less problem how kinky that sounds.”
“Ah… my plan exposed,” Joe smiled faintly back, “seduce you merely so I can strap you on and fly.”
“You think you are seducing me?”
Twilight Sparkle gave them a tired smile. “Eventually I’d have got you down, just wanted to let Rainbow have a chance to decide whether to tickle or not.”
“Aw, missed a chance,” Rainbow Dash commented.
“Fortunately gravity works,” shrugged Joe, hoping that at least worked the same mysterious way here, “and so does teamwork.”
Twilight Sparkle started to nod and then she blinked and thought. “That’s it!”
“Eh?” Joe asked insightfully.
“Starswirl the Bearded’s spell!” said Twilight Sparkle. “It said ‘From one to another, Another to one…’, which was why I set up pulses going from one Element to another, so each of them could remind and reinforce another.”
Joe and Spike and the other five Ponies looked at each other. So far this seemed understandable but they didn’t see the point.
“Right?” Spike asked, having only watched and so being less weary than the rest.
“But whenever we have achieved the most we have worked together, not alone…” Twilight Sparkle wobbled to her feet like a fawn. “I think I know how to fix and complete the spell.”
“That’s good news, honey bun,” smiled Applejack, “but maybe a…”
Twilight Sparkle almost trotted away and up the stairs in her enthusiasm.
“…rest first,” finished Applejack. She looked to the others. “Ah hope she isn’t making a mistake.”
“Well, come along then dears,” Rarity ordered, sliding and standing off her own seat. “If she is then we can try to save her from it.”
Rainbow Dash stood and without her against his shoulder Joe hauled himself to his feet. Then they looked at the stairs,
“Why did it have to be down and then up?” Rainbow Dash complained. “Other way round and I could have just glided back…” She gave Joe a smile. “Carry a Mare?”
Joe smiled back. “I can try.”
“He looks a bit… erm…” Fluttershy said, searching for a diplomatic term and failing, “wobbly.”
“Darlings,” nodded Rarity, “move.”
With Spike scampering ahead to check on his ‘big sister’ the others wearily followed. The difference between a couple of days ago and now was like the difference between pushing a rock to slide down a mountainside and having had to haul that rock up there first. Perhaps still the same sort of sudden rush but a lot more work first. Upstairs Twilight Sparkle was pacing a little, the thrill of the idea overcoming her fatigue, and Joe settled himself on the edge of the stairs leading up to the upper level.
Twilight Sparkle looked at them and pointed towards the open spellbook. “You see, it’s talking about one and alone…”
The Ponies moved forward a little, although they still couldn’t really read it even being that fraction closer. Joe just nodded, listened, and stayed sitting where he was the other side of the stylised horse head statue. Seeing that Joe had not moved Twilight Sparkle paused, but while her inspiration lasted she wanted to get this done. Then she could confirm he was as well as he appeared, if probably not as well as he was trying to look
“But friends working together is the greatest magic,” Twilight Sparkle continued, turning towards the spellbook as she took a quill in her magic. She dipped this in her inkpot and continued to speak as she wrote. “From all of us together, Together we are friends, With the marks of our destinies made one, There is magic without end…”
As she finished writing her Tiara suddenly glowed and before anyone could react so did the other Elements of Harmony. Beams of light shot from them and in the direction the Ponies had been looking, which was straight at Twilight Sparkle. A glow of white light surrounded her as the colours combined into that and then that glow began to swirl and streak around her into a sphere. Joe lurched to his feet to try to do something, grab one of the other Ponies, grab Twilight Sparkle, or simply try to get in the way and shield one from the other with his body. But then he staggered and barely avoided falling on his face as he tripped over Spike.
“Joe! Stop!”
“What? The Ele...” Joe began, then his mind caught up with his reaction, “trust them?”
“Yes!” snapped Spike.
Joe nodded to this and watched and hoped. The magic continued to flow from the Elements of Harmony into the sphere and then it pulsed and vanished and took Twilight Sparkle with it. Fluttershy squeaked and the others looked horrified.
“Where’d she go?” Applejack asked before she joined the quartet of glares being given to Spike and Joe. “And couldn’t one of you pair have done something?”
“I did say we should try to save her from a mistake,” added Rarity.
“I... I think Spike can say it better,” Joe said, either not brave enough to avoid shifting the blame or not wanting to take the credit, and not sure which it was.
“Spike?” asked Rarity.
“Would any of you ever hurt Twilight?”
“Of course not, darling.”
“Then why would you think you would hurt her now?”
“That... erm... makes sense,” Fluttershy agreed. “I hope.”
“Indeed,” nodded Rarity, then her eye for patterns served her well. “Oh my! Look at the scorch mark.”
“Looks like her Cutie Mark,” Joe said, wandering over and looking. “Thanks for tripping me Spike.”
“Any time,” smiled Spike.
“Any time it's important.”
“Any time,” repeated Spike.
Shaking his head a little and deciding he’d not need much tripping at the moment Joe moved back to slide down and sit on the floor with his back against a bookcase. With the exception of Spike they were all tired enough that sitting or lying seemed a fine idea. Rainbow Dash decided she wanted a proper cushion. So she got into Joe’s lap and snuggled her head against his chest, unfurling a wing to hug him as he rested an arm down her back in return. He kissed her on top of the head and they relaxed. A while passed in silence and recovery.
“So, how we all feeling? Other than like we’ve done the running of the leaves five times in a row…” Applejack began.
“Five times?” interrupted Rainbow Dash, giving a yawn, “I could do it ten times before I got this tired.”
“Ah don’t feel as much like sewing,” Applejack continued, “but ah think ah do like the time spent with Granny Smith…”
“And I still have my ideas for my weather themed collection,” added Rarity, “though I have lost the desire to shape actual weather.”
Rainbow Dash nodded against Joe’s chest. “Not sure how often I’ll help you out now Fluttershy, but stop by a few times a week. Maybe.”
“That would be nice,” Fluttershy smiled.
“Still wanting to do my job at all?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“No,” Fluttershy replied, “but I would like some advice on better jokes.”
“I thought the bucket of squirmy things was funny,” commented Joe with a slight smile. “How about you Pinkie?”
“It does sound funny,” Pinkie Pie said, avoiding the actual question.
“Pinkie…” said Applejack, looking worried.
“I’m feeling better,” Pinkie Pie assured her, “but…” She shook her head and stood. “I’ll go get us some buns.”
“I’ll help,” offered Spike.
Pinkie Pie managed a smile. “Thanks.”
==
Downstairs Spike was continuing his overblown description of how Pinkie Pie and the others had been cured, something that had started as an explanation to Mr and Mrs Cake but which had turned into a performance as he realised how many Ponies were listening. They’d quickly established that although the Ponies remembered misremembering that they did now remember the right Cutie Marks and jobs and Elements of Harmony for their holders.
Upstairs Pinkie Pie was lying on her bed and cuddling Gummy. He’d blinked his suspicion of this unusual calm but seemed to have accepted quiet was no less random than noise and was happy with the piece of mane he was making soggy with his chewing. Pinkie Pie ran one hoof down the thicker scales of her pet’s back and smiled before looking again at the letter she’d found where she’d left it under her pillow.
Dear Me,
I don’t know how this letter will sound to you now we have been cured, but if we still remember writing it then maybe we remember how we felt? I can almost feel myself wincing and wanting to find something more fun to do, and maybe it is just Applejack’s Cutie Mark making me feel this way. But the false memories it gave us do remind me of my real ones and do make me wonder. Living above Sugarcube Corner and working for Mr and Mrs Cake is a good life, but how long should we be content with this?
Now we have our own Cutie Mark back this may all seem silly to worry about, but we owe ourselves the same care with our life as we owe everypony else with how carefully we plan our parties to make sure they all have fun. So please consider what we want.
Yours
Me.
With another stroke down Gummy’s spine Pinkie Pie decided that ‘me’ sounded sad, but not as sad as she’d been when she’d caused trouble by not thinking. It had all worked out with Cranky Doodle Donkey, but she’d been very upset when she realised how her enthusiasm to make him smile had made him feel. And of course her friends would have forgiven her if she’d had to choose one thing to do over another, they’d forgiven her for the greater trouble the mirror-pond clones had caused.
The memories from Applejack’s Cutie Mark had faded when she’d glowed and were all gone now, but ‘me’ was right about them being a reminder. Every day Pinkie Pie had to focus on making somepony smile, as their smiles did fade so fast, and every party needed her to think ahead a week or a month. But as well as day-to-day and week-to-week there was a longer timeframe in farming, even rock farming, and this reminder seemed a lesson she should not completely ignore. The idea of making schedules and checklists like Twilight Sparkle filled her with horror but it might be good to have some goals. It would be nice to have her own home like three of her friends or her own business like Rarity…
But of course it was harder than ‘me’ had thought to plan ahead with Twilight Sparkle having vanished and nopony knowing what had happened to her. Until that was resolved Pinkie Pie was unsure what was going to happen.
==
Rainbow Dash had fallen asleep. Which meant that nobody else could. Joe was glad that he didn’t have any fillings as whenever his marefriend gave a particularly resonant snore at this close range it felt like he’d have risked them being vibrated out of his teeth. The temptation to wriggle his fingers and tickle her had always been present, even if last time she’d been in roughly this position he’d only done that as retaliation for feather tickling. Now he was wondering if he should tickle on the excuse that it would be a heroic deed to save the others from this noise.
Fortunately the library door opened and sensing the arrival of the sort of sugary high-calorie foods she needed to fuel her high-speed life Rainbow Dash gave a little snort and sat up from her slight slump against Joe to look. Pinkie Pie walked in and to their relief, even if she was not stotting, she did have more bounce in her stride again. Spike followed and closed the door behind them before following Pinkie Pie to the table to help her unload the boxes from her panniers.
“Darlings, welcome back,” Rarity smiled.
“Glad you are looking a mite happier Pinkie,” added Applejack. “All go well?”
Spike began handing out buns and cupcakes as Rainbow Dash reluctantly folded the wing she’d had over Joe’s lap and turned to be sitting more upright and only leaning against rather than snuggling against him. Which still only left Joe one hand free as that shift trapped his arm between her back and the bookcase.
“Everypony seems to remember how things should be,” Spike agreed, offering a box of cupcakes to Rarity and getting a slight moue in return. Seeing this he lowered his voice. “I’ll get you a plate.”
“Thank you, dear.”
As Spike passed within range one of Rainbow Dash’s forehooves shot out and snagged the box. Disdaining the prissy manners amongst friends she dipped her other forehoof in, snagged a cupcake, and chomped half of it in one bite. Then she saw that even Pinkie Pie looked a touch surprised and remembered there was a gap between sending Spike to get a plate to catch crumbs and devouring a cupcake like that while actually leaning against your special somehuman.
Joe reached out and took a cupcake of his own, rather less abruptly than Rainbow Dash. “Thanks Spike.”
Spike nodded, grabbed the box, and continued on his way. He soon returned with the plate for Rarity, though there was the slight delay of circling wider of Rainbow Dash and giving her an exaggerated look of fear. Rarity thanked him and began eating her cupcake with delicate jabs of the fork Spike had also provided and the others got a second cupcake from Pinkie Pie before she settled.
“Ah’m right sure, Spike, that you’re right we’d not hurt Twilight,” Applejack said, a third of a way through her second cupcake. “But ah do wonder if we should be informing th’ Princess of what’s happened?”
“I mentioned that you five were cured to Ponies, but not what happened to Twilight.”
“They’d be… concerned,” Fluttershy said. “I am.”
“I am sure Twilight’s fine,” smiled Joe, “but it might be better to find out if we need to do anything but wait…”
“And have a ‘got right Cutie Marks again’ celebration,” Pinkie Pie added.
“Okay,” said Spike, getting himself a scroll and quill and ink. Then he looked at them expectantly.
“Darling, you did get the best view of it all,” Rarity reminded him. “And after the first part and cure we were a touch fatigued.”
“Oh, right,” nodded Spike, starting to write and reading it out as he did. Nobody had any comments so, after looking around at them again, he rolled the scroll up and puffed green fire on it so it burnt away into a rising spiral. But no sooner had it vanished then it appeared again and fell to the floor. “Strange,” he commented, looking down at the scroll, “that should find Princess Celestia wherever she is.”
“Try again later?” Joe suggested.
“Sounds fine to me,” agreed Applejack.
Spike picked the scroll up and put it on the table. Looking at the boxes of buns he nodded again. “I’ll go get some tea to go with those.”
“Thank you darling,” Rarity said, echoed by the others.
“So,” said Applejack, as Spike trotted away, “what was the problem Pinkie?”
“We were… worried,” Fluttershy added. “You didn’t seem as happy to be cured.”
“Just didn’t seem as happy,” nodded Rainbow Dash, weighing comfort against Joe versus the trip to get a bun before Spike returned. “And didn’t get much happier.”
Pinkie Pie glanced at Joe and was glad for the questions as it showed he’d kept their talk discreet. “I’m very happy with my friends and my life,” she said, smiling and deciding to explain, “but I grew up on a farm, so even after I’d entertained at Sugarcube Corner some doubts returned. It felt right to be at Sugarcube Corner but, although I was unhappy, it didn’t feel completely wrong to be at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Ah think ah can understand,” nodded Applejack. “Ah’ve mentioned mah Cutie Mark tale a time or two and ah can imagine if ah’d stayed in Manehatten and thought ah was happy there, but then gone back to Sweet Apple Acres and then back again to Manehatten. Ah think ah’d wonder between doing what ah thought ah was meant to be doing or doing what ah’d been raised doing.”
“And I’m… unusual,” Fluttershy added, blushing a little and slightly looking through her Mane. “I’d not have been good at it if I’d got Rainbow’s Cutie Mark, but flying more and trying to control the weather would be more Pegasus-like. Looking after my little friends is what I want to do, but it was still… strange for me to decide to live on the ground and do that.”
“Humans don’t have the same certainty,” sighed Joe, “which was fortunate as it turned out with the magic, but can have family traditions and breaking with those can be a tough decision.” He managed a smile as he imagined how many books would be a lot shorter if humans got Cutie Marks so the ‘wastrel’ son could point to it and tell the disapproving father he was meant to be an artist rather than a lawyer. “Have you managed to resolve your doubts Pinkie?”
“I think so,” Pinkie Pie nodded.
“Just don’t think too much,” nodded Joe back, “I think I think too much sometimes…”
“As long as you don’t think you think you think too much,” Fluttershy teased.
“What…” began Joe, then he remembered the apologising for apologising, and apologising for apologising for apologising and chuckled.
Spike returned and began handing out cups and making the rounds with teapot and milk and sugar. Rarity of course got the best china, and what looked like a silver teaspoon, while the others got sturdier mugs. Rainbow Dash washed down a mouthful of bun with a swig of tea and then winked and murmured to Joe.
“Tea isn’t what I was thinking of drinking with you.”
“Tea is probably safer,” Joe murmured back. “If nothing else I think it would kill me, as tired as I am, if you tried half of what you suggested.”
“What about a third?”
“What are you two muttering about?” asked Rarity. “And why are you blushing Joe?”
“Having to admit how tired I am, and how incapable,” Joe replied, “though if it would make some things unsafe at least it makes Pinkie safer.”
“Oh?” frowned Rainbow Dash.
“The way I feel I’m not going to try to pick her up and start dancing.”
Pinkie Pie grinned. “I’m Pinkie the Pink, the Pink, the Pink…”
“It was an… interesting… way to dance,” Rarity agreed.
“It was… nice,” nodded Fluttershy.
“It was also deliberate comedy,” Joe protested mildly.
“I am sure it was darling…” twinkled Rarity, pretending more disbelief than she felt. Then between them she, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie described the dancing and the routine. Joe stoutly maintained throughout that the original was a comedy song with the three men in a line deliberately bobbing up and down out of sync, though he had to admit he wasn’t a good dancer even when trying.
“I suppose once I’ve had some sleep…” Joe began.
“Once all of us have had some sleep,” interrupted Applejack, “which means someplace out of earshot of Rainbow while she has hers.”
“Hey!”
“She’s not that… er… loud,” Fluttershy said, defending her friend but glad Rainbow Dash was probably going to sleep back at her own cottage tonight.
“I can try lifting Pinkie,” continued Joe, “and answer Twilight’s question of if I’m stronger or weaker or the same.”
“I thought you sang that would be kinky?” Pinkie Pie smiled.
“True,” admitted Joe, “so back on the treadmill for me with the machines that go ‘ping’.”
The mention of Twilight Sparkle’s name seemed to have dampened spirits again and Spike picked up the scroll and gave it another puff of fire with the same failure as before. Talking of machines that went ‘ping’ did remind Joe of a comedy group and since he was in a different world quoting them would not be so overdone as it had become back in his own. Of course that was assuming he’d liked them enough to be able to recite entire sketches from memory like some people could. There was a song though that could pass the time and maybe cheer people up.
“Can Ponies whistle…” Joe started to ask, before stopping, “wait of course they can…” He tightened the arm she was leaning against to give Rainbow Dash a quick hug. “Dash mentioned she whistled a tune for rhythm in Ghastly Gorge.”
“And you want ‘ba-ba-bah’,” commented Spike, “because it was the same tune as a human one.”
“True,” Joe admitted, “though now I’m wondering how ghastly this gorge is…”
“Pretty bad,” said Rainbow Dash happily, “but I am awesome.”
“And Tank needed to rescue you,” Applejack winked.
“AJ!”
Joe nodded as he remembered Fluttershy saying that Tank was Rainbow Dash’s pet because he’d helped her when she was stuck. “Maybe I should have said I won’t go in the Everfree alone if you don’t go there alone…”
“You think that would have worked darling?” Rarity asked archly.
“No, and too late now,” shrugged Joe, with his untrapped shoulder. “Already promised my half.”
“So why were you asking about if Ponies could whistle?” Pinkie Pie asked.
Joe gave her a weary smile, took a breath, and started to sing. “Some things are bad, they really make you mad…”
His singing did falter a little as he went on. He didn’t want to swear, had to hurriedly substitute ‘chewing on a thistle’ for ‘chewing on life’s gristle’ to avoid that reference to meat eating, and wasn’t sure of some of the words anyway. Explaining it had come from a film about a man mistaken for a messiah seemed too complicated and he decided to also not mention that it had been sung on sinking warships. Though he did mention it being sung at the Olympics, and hoped he was right about if it had been the opening or closing ceremony.
Then Joe was taught some Pony songs, including some that were rather more ribald than he expected. A few of the tunes of those were familiar but they had very different words and Rarity and Applejack displayed a fine talent in their opposite ways. Rarity used the power of the eyelash flutter to make more explicit lyrics seem, somehow, more innocent and give the impression that she couldn’t really have just sung that? Applejack instead took rather dull lyrics, but made it clear with her tone and a few winks that those were metaphors and what they were metaphors for.
==
A few hours had passed and the singing had wound down. The buns, cupcakes, tea, and rest had done them some good but Fluttershy had begun to become anxious about her animals as well as about Twilight Sparkle. Therefore while Spike and Rarity remained to keep an eye on the Golden Oaks Library the others had gone with Fluttershy to her cottage to help her deal with the evening feed there. The jog, canter, or fly there from Ponyville had been a reasonable test of how they were feeling and Joe was quite pleased that he was feeling tired rather than weak.
When they returned they found that Rarity and Spike had cooked and depleted the library pantry along with a few additions Rarity had fetched from her own and which Spike had been very happy to learn, from her, how to cook with. The company and the meal had been good despite the absence of a sixth Mare and their growing concern for her. Now as they finished eating and settled back it seemed time to return to that problem.
“I’m getting worried,” admitted Spike.
“Don’t worry,” Rarity reassured him, “trust yourself Spike.”
Joe waved in the general direction. “Cutie Mark scorch-mark.”
“I know,” Spike sighed. “Just it’s been hours.”
Through the windows they could see the daylight dimming towards the time of day of their missing friend. Gradually the windows turned black and reflective as the light inside the library remained constant and that outside did not. Then in one direction they cleared again as enough light began to stream through them that the library brightened on that side while remaining dark on the other. They looked to each other and then Applejack stood and trotted to the door as Rainbow Dash took off to arc out the balcony doors and approach whatever this was from the different direction.
Lacking the ability to follow his marefriend Joe instead followed the others outside where they saw what looked like a gigantic version of Twilight Sparkle’s Cutie Mark hanging over Ponyville and giving off the light they’d seen. As this descended towards them Applejack couldn’t help but point, even knowing how noticeable this was, and Rainbow Dash curved down to watch this with the others. Just before it reached the ground the purple stylised star dissolved into a brilliant white light and as this cleared they saw a pony shaped silhouette.
“Twilight?” Applejack asked reasonably. “Is that you?”
The Pony seemed to gather herself and they became less dazzled they could see the purple fur and horn and distinctively patterned mane and tail of their friend. But as Twilight Sparkle stood and took a breath there was a sudden rush of air through feathers as wings unfurled from either side of her body.
“Whoa,” commented Joe, peering through his fingers as the last of the glow faded and realising why Princess Celestia might have been quite so peeved with him, “that was what I nearly messed up?”
Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes and seemed almost as surprised by her new accoutrements as the others. She began flexing and examining a wing and giving it a very puzzled look as her friends walked across to her.
“Ah, ah’ve never seen anything like it,” Applejack commented, discounting having met the various Princesses.
“Twilight’s got wings!” cheered Rainbow Dash, taking off to examine them from a new angle. “Awesome, a new flying buddy!”
“Why, you've become an Alicorn,” Rarity blinked. “I didn't even know that was possible.”
“Alicorn paaarty,” said Pinkie Pie, finding party supplies from somewhere and discerning the important first priority.
“They… erm… suit you,” Joe nodded.
“Looking good Twilight,” agreed Spike.
“Wow,” Fluttershy breathed. “You look just like a Princess.”
Behind them and unnoticed Princess Celestia descended. “That’s because she is a Princess…”
Everyone turned and Joe’s knee twitched before he decided that if nobody else was kneeling then maybe he didn’t have to, yet. In various tones but a remarkably coordinated manner they all looked at the Goddess of the Sun and went ‘huuhhhhh?’ at her. Pinkie Pie of course was the first to recover her wits.
“Hold on a second,” Pinkie Pie requested, then she pulled a full drinking glass out from apparently nowhere, took a deep swig, and then provided the mandatory spit take for the purpose of comedy.
“A... a Princess?” stammered Twilight Sparkle, that being enough shock to break her silence.
“Since you've come to Ponyville you’ve displayed the charity,” Princess Celestia replied, nodding to each of Twilight Sparkle’s friends in turn, “compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course the leadership of a true Princess.”
Joe tried to look inconspicuous as he stood off to one side and not feel too insulted for Spike. He might not be one of the Holders of the Elements of Harmony but he had known her the longest and was her ‘little brother’ so he seemed to deserve a nod.
“But, does this mean I won’t be your student anymore?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“Not in the same way as before,” smiled Princess Celestia. “I’ll still be here to help and guide you, but we’re all your students now too. You are an inspiration,” she added as she bowed, “to us all Twilight.”
Following the Deity and Ruler’s example the others bowed, it rippling down along the line through Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and then finally Joe. The latter decided to make the head bend not quite as deep as he would for Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, though it was more that he realised he’d not dipped it as far rather than this being a conscious decision.
“But, what do I do now?” Twilight Sparkle said, looking at the bowing people. It would have been nice to have some warning of this or of what she was learning her lessons in Ponyville towards. She fell back on her usual means of understanding something new. “Is there a book about being a Princess I should read?”
“There will be time for all of that later,” chuckled Princess Celestia. She turned and looked at the gathering Ponies. “Announcements will be made, but for now farewell.”
With those parting words a brilliant glow surrounded both Princesses, the Immortal Goddess and the confused new one, and they streaked up in an arch of light that briefly linked Ponyville and Canterlot. Joe blinked and shrugged to Rainbow Dash. This had been a confusing end to the day.