To Joe’s discomfiture saying ‘yes, dear’ did not work as well on a Pony as it did on some women, or at least did not work as well with Rainbow Dash. Before they left Zecora’s hut she had extracted a promise that he’d not go exploring the Everfree alone any more. Before they got very far she’d also a second promise that he’d not go into the Everfree alone, even if he had new armour and it wasn’t ‘exploring’ as it was gathering or going back to places he’d already been. This annoyed Joe as he was used to his independence, here or back on his own world, but he found he did not mind as much as he’d have expected. Now he knew things were more dangerous than they’d seemed the exploring felt more foolish, and especially since, even discounting the effects on Rainbow Dash, he didn’t want to cause grief to the friends he’d made.
“I’ve got some research to do,” Twilight Sparkle said as they came out of the Everfree into the daylight. She gave Joe a look and then continued, “but I don’t think it is anything either of you could help with.”
“I should get some lunch and then see what I can help with at Sweet Apple Acres,” nodded Joe, wondering about the look and smiling to Rainbow Dash. “Care to join me for lunch, Dash?”
“I’d love to,” Rainbow Dash smiled back, “as long as it’s you who’s cooking, but…”
“But?” asked Joe as she trailed off and took off.
“But I should be getting back to Fluttershy’s to help her with her lunch and feeding the animals.”
“Rainbow,” Twilight Sparkle said, sounding worried, “that’s not…”
“It’s not what I normally do, and maybe it is, a bit, because of this Cutie Mark,” admitted and interrupted Rainbow Dash. “But if I can spare half-an-hour or an hour here and there to help Fluttershy then it feels I should.”
“Alright,” Twilight Sparkle smiled, “I can’t argue with that.”
“Good,” nodded Rainbow Dash. Then she gave Twilight Sparkle a slight but significant head gesture.
“Oh,” Twilight Sparkle huffed, then she raised her voice to a normal level. “I’ll see you two again soon, and can you come to the library early tomorrow please Joe?”
“Will do,” replied Joe, “good luck with your research.”
“Bye Twi.”
“Goodbye,” Twilight Sparkle said, trotting off and not looking back.
“Anyway, I’ll…” began Joe.
Then there were two slight thumps. The first being the impact of Pegasus on Human and the second being spear on ground as Joe dropped it to free that hand and hold Rainbow Dash instead. It was only a relatively brief kiss before she broke it and flapped back, but enough that Joe felt slightly dazed.
“I think I was saying something,” smiled Joe, playing things up and blinking as if confused, “but for some reason I can’t remember what…”
“See you around Joe,” Rainbow Dash grinned, streaking up and away.
Joe waved, even though he knew by the time he reacted she’d already be too far away to see that, and then picked up his spear again. That side of things was going rather well and it was starting to feel more normal. Joe started to walk towards his hut as he continued to think. In some ways, he decided, it was feeling normal enough he wasn’t sure if his lack of ‘response’ was still because she was a Pony or just because they weren’t at that stage of their relationship. There were still the concerns, and those might have slowed things, but it had taken longer than a week and one ‘proper’ date in the past even without those.
The walk was peaceful and Joe took the chance when he arrived at his hut to strip off his top half, freshen up a little, and not put the vest on when he put the shirt back on. He plucked a few weeds as he picked a few vegetables and then returned to his hut to start to cook. It was times like this that he missed having a Microwave Oven and a Freezer and a Ready Meal to give the lazier option, though thinking that he felt a twinge of nausea as he remembered the scandal with horsemeat in various meals. Joe was just glad that nopony had asked what sort of meats he’d eaten or he might have had to admit there was that chance.
Eventually Joe managed to finish cooking all the vegetables that he’d have had potatoes instead of, mashed or chipped or baked, back home and with his ‘kibble’ and some cheese added to complete the recipe settled down on his porch with his plate. He wanted to linger over his meal to avoid having to deal with anything else today and he wanted to eat it as fast as possible to let him get on with things, so it seemed best to just enjoy the food. Concentrate, for now, on the minor personal concern of if he needed to learn a few more recipes and maybe something more fancy.
==
The spectacular view from the Canterlot Castle balcony was almost irrelevant to Princess Celestia. But only almost, here she could appreciate the beauty with the eyes of her physical shell as well as being able to ‘see’ it all with her other perceptions. The joy and harmony of her realm pleased her as much as her mild sunshine pleased her subjects and for a moment she found peace, until that was spoilt in a most unwelcome way.
“Looking at your playthings?” Discord sneered, slithering out of a shadow far too small to have contained him.
“Playthings?” frowned Princess Celestia. “That is how you regarded them, I love and care for them.”
“And whether you nurture or torment them they are still playthings, and still ones that we both care about.”
Princess Celestia snorted and returned her eyes to the view. “You expect me to believe you have any care for them?”
“Where’s the fun in an empty world with no games to play?”
“And everything is a game to you, isn’t it Discord?”
“Of course,” Discord replied, sounding surprised as he rendered himself invisible to all but Celestia and moved to join her. It was doubtful that any of her subjects would disturb her but making it appear she was talking to herself if they did would be amusing.
“And Fluttershy?”
“Ah, a far different game…” Discord chuckled, “I don’t know how you can stand your eternal sameness, always being the protector and guardian.”
“Explain yourself,” said Princess Celestia, turning her gaze back on Discord. “If you are lying to Fluttershy then…”
“Then there is little you can do,” Discord reminded her, “you know the result if we fight and one of us does not cede.”
“And neither of wishes to take it that far, you for your games and me for my love, but you will still explain yourself or we shall see how far we can take it.”
“You know Celly, I think you are serious. But then you always are when you deny yourself my gifts and your own sense of humour.”
“Discord.”
“Very well,” Discord shrugged. “I have always been chaos and always shall be, but I can do whatever good occurs or whatever evil, whatever help or whatever harm, grant random luck or random woe. Or anything between or any combination of anything. Unlike you my nature is to reinvent myself.”
Princess Celestia snorted again. “You have always seemed the same to me.”
“Over the eye blink of time you have known this aspect of me… or did you think I was so young as to have only existed since you first noticed me, or so limited as to only exist here? Rather than chaos being eternal and universal?”
“I…”
“Oh, don’t fret Celly. Your power here in your domain is supreme. And I am chaos so I might simply be lying.” Discord paused, and then gave a nasty smile as he continued. “Though whether I am lying about my true nature or you still being more powerful here than me is another matter, and one that I can sense has awoken delicious uncertainty.”
“And you still have not answered my question about Fluttershy,” Princess Celestia pointed out, rallying.
“Can I act against myself for the fraction of an eye blink that is the life of a single Pony?” asked Discord rhetorically. “Can I win this game with myself and genuinely care and feel friendship for at least that long? Am I so chaotic that I can even encompass Order and Stability?” He paused again. “Playing games against you and your Ponies has been a challenge at times, playing against my own nature… as I said, a far different game.”
“Twilight Sparkle will find the cure,” Princess Celestia promised him, “the Holders of the Elements of Harmony will be restored, and if you betray their friend then…”
“I know, back to stone for me,” interrupted Discord with a serpentine shrug. “Accepting defeat is far less delay than recreating all life on a world twisted by my chaos and rendered molten by your light.”
==
As Joe walked towards Sweet Apple Acres he felt a severe sense of déjà vu from all the times he had come this way over the last few months. The last time of course had only been yesterday so he had a brief hope that he’d not see Pinkie Pie trying to fix the water chute again, and then hoped he would as he might not make the same mistake a second time. Looking around he considered whether to check the barns or the farmhouse first, but then the decision was taken from him as Applejack called to him. Joe waved and started to walk across.
“How are you doing Applejack?”
“Ah’m doing better than ah was with dresses.”
Joe nodded and fell in beside her as Applejack started to walk. “I think Twilight is onto something, she seemed to have a lead after talking to Zecora.”
“That’s fine and dandy news then, ah quite like th’ look of Diamonds but ah do prefer Apples.”
“Seriously though,” Joe repeated, “how are you holding up?”
“Seriously, better than if ah was doing dresses,” replied Applejack. “And as ah expected Granny Smith is right pleased ah’m more interested in sewing now.”
“Fair enough,” Joe nodded, “and as she’s got an interest without it being a destiny it seems a fair hobby.”
“We can have hobbies,” smiled Applejack, “but ah’ll just have to see how ah feel about it once ah have mah proper Cutie Mark back.”
“You love your granny,” Joe smiled back, as they approached the barn, “so you might keep learning.”
“Ah suppose so, can keep mah hooves busy in odd moments…”
==
With a buzz of small Pegasus wings and a trail of dust from six wheels the Cutie Mark Crusaders swept in towards Sweet Apple Acres. School had seemed to drag today with all the sniping from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon about how Apple Bloom’s sister had been doing at Sweetie Belle’s sister’s job. And how poorly Rarity had been doing at Rainbow Dash’s job. And of course the stinger that as poorly as they had been doing at the other Pony’s job that was barely worse than how well the other Pony normally did.
The prestige of the model flying and Joe’s lecture had worn off but the Cutie Mark Crusaders had better and larger plans. So before they did anything else they wanted to check the barn here. As they approached this they noticed some neat piles of things outside it and then Joe emerged carrying more and they realised they’d managed to accomplish two things at once.
“Hi Girls!” Joe waved.
“Hi Joe!” they chorused back, Scootaloo furling her wings and them sliding to a stop.
“Do you think he knows?” Scootaloo whispered as Joe wandered back into the barn and they removed their helmets.
“Only one way ta find out,” shrugged Apple Bloom.
The three fillies walked across from their scooter and wagon and in through the open barn door. Joe was scraping some old hay together and up against one wall to clear more room on the floor. The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged glances and then Apple Bloom moved forward a little.
“What are you doing, Joe?”
“Your sister told me the barn needed clearing,” Joe replied, taking the chance to pause and mop his brow a little with the cloth from his belt.
“Did, ah, she say why?”
“No, and I didn’t ask,” Joe admitted, returning the cloth to his belt. “Just wanted to know what rather than why to do.”
“Okay.”
“Why?” Joe asked.
“No reason,” said Scootaloo, moving up alongside Apple Bloom, “just wondering and glad to see you.”
“We were worried about you after the talk at the school,” Sweetie Belle added, “you looked quite faint.”
“Gave myself a bit of a shock,” smiled Joe, “train of thought ran into the buffers of a difference between here and my world.”
“We checked for you at your hut,” Apple Bloom said, “seemed friendly.”
“Thanks Girls, I went to the library after the school to check things and then got invited to the lake. I had a good time there, but I’m sorry to have missed you.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged glances. “Who was there?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Your sisters,” Joe replied, then nodding to Scootaloo, “your heroine, Twilight and Spike, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and all six of the pets.”
“So, Rainbow Dash was there?” checked Scootaloo.
“Yes, and glad she still seems your heroine with the confusion over if she’s the veterinarian or the head of the weather team, though of course she’s still the fastest flier.”
“Of course she is!” nodded Scootaloo, confirming either or both parts of that sentence.
“Yesterday was rather crazy,” Joe continued. “But Twilight does seem on track of a cure, or another cure after I messed up the first one.”
“Ah heard about that,” nodded Apple Bloom. Seeing Joe’s jaw tense slightly she decided to change the subject. “Though, Joe?”
“Yes?”
“Sweetie Belle found something at the Carousel Boutique.”
“Something interesting I take it?” Joe asked, looking to that Filly.
“I don’t want to spoil a surprise,” said Sweetie Belle, “but did my sister take something to the lake?”
Joe thought for a moment, Rarity had taken many things to the lake but there only seemed one think the Cutie Mark Crusaders would think a surprise. “Ah, a certain banner?”
“Yep,” confirmed Scootaloo.
“With thread like this,” Joe continued, tugging at his hair, “and fabric a distinctive blue?”
“That would be the one,” agreed Apple Bloom.
“No idea what you are talking about then,” Joe smiled.
“Joe!” protested Sweetie Belle.
“Sorry,” Joe chuckled, “what do you want me to say?”
“Not much,” replied Scootaloo, not sounding too interested.
“Just if it’s true,” Apple Bloom added.
“Everything!” protested Sweetie Belle again.
“Hmm,” Joe mused, “even if it’s not a secret it’s still not much business of anypony else…”
“We kept quiet about you and Rainbow Dash going to Canterlot,” said Apple Bloom.
“True,” Joe admitted, “I had assumed Diamond Tiara’s snark about Dash being sick of me was from how eye catching her and Rarity had looked walking from the spa to the railway station.” He shrugged. “But the banner is true.”
“And?” pressed Sweetie Belle when Joe didn’t continue.
“And after your sister and Spike ambushed us with the banner I admitted that truth to myself and Dash and the others.”
Sweetie Belle pouted slightly. “You’re not making this sound very romantic.”
“Ah think it comes back to th’ ‘not much business of anypony else’,” suggested Apple Bloom.
Joe nodded and began scraping straw again. “You got it Apple Bloom.”
“I’m still puzzled why…” Scootaloo began.
“I don’t think you can be puzzled why I’d think Dash was awesome,” smiled Joe, “so I’ll try not be insulted you’re puzzled why Dash thinks it worth giving it a try and seeing where this might go.”
“Actually there is the whole… you know, human an’ pony thing,” Apple Bloom said, adding the reassurance, “ain’t wrong and ain’t that strange, but ain’t exactly usual.”
Joe nodded again and decided to not to comment on how wrong and strange him and a pony would be on his world. “I just hope it doesn’t cause her any trouble.”
“Are you worried that it will?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Truth be told… and this is not for gossip.”
“We promise,” Sweetie Belle assured him, echoed by her friends.
“Now I’m worried. I’d been thinking about why it felt unusual for me, and of all the reasons I am sure Scoots can list for why Dash is too awesome for me…” Scootaloo had the grace to look embarrassed. “…rather than the wider reactions.” Joe paused and winked. “Though Angel Bunny seemed the only one disgusted at the lake… pbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttt!”
==
The scene was a peaceful tranquil one, the buzz of insects around the pile of old hay rotting down to fertiliser, the evening sun beating down, and the annoyed and angry glare being bestowed by an orange Mare as she waved her hooves in mid-air.
“Joe,” Applejack warned, “let me down.”
“But Applejack,” replied Joe innocently, “we agreed I could unload this wagon faster if I tilted it, but you could pull more when you were harnessed into it…”
“Joe!” Applejack warned again, giving her hooves another wave and trying to tip herself back down. It had worked before, but the wagon wasn’t being held steady and upright by a human then.
“I did say I had an idea how to combine both advantages…”
“Joe!”
With a smile Joe gently let the wagon pivot on its single axle and Applejack come slowly back down. He wasn’t sure how she’d retained her hat and he certainly wasn’t sure that it would not have been wiser to run away and let her come down by herself. But he’d been unable to resist when he’d noticed just how much Applejack was pulling and realised the slight dip in the ground they were dumping the hay into would allow him to tip the wagon that far.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders had seemed satisfied with what Joe had said about his relationship with Rainbow Dash, or at least Sweetie Belle had been outvoted 2-1 to talk about something else. Or 3-1 if Joe’s vote counted, which he expected it did not. They’d chatted for a while longer as he worked and he’d sympathised with them about Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. There was little advice he could give though as school politics was not something Joe had much memory of as it had been years and he’d been rather blandly inoffensive back then. Scootaloo had commented ‘back then’ and Joe had admitted he still preferred to get along with people, and given her a mock glower as he added ‘until they pushed it too far’.
Once the three fillies had left the barn clearing sped up again and it was only an hour or so before Joe had the floor mostly clear and had needed to find Applejack to check what next. Then another hour as Applejack sorted the things between store and junk and Joe loaded and unloaded a wagon and trundled it back and forth. He was just glad that most Ponies were narrow enough in the body that things were set close enough together he could use their small 2-wheel wagons like a handcart.
Then had come some pleasant bickering about being able to pull more hay in the wagon at a time compared with being able to load it and tip it to unload it more easily. Applejack’s horizontal pulling strength versus Joe’s vertical lifting. They’d agreed that Joe should come along to unload the wagon rather than loading a second wagon while Applejack made the round trip with the greater load using twice as many legs allowed. Joe had mentioned he’d an idea to ‘combine the advantages’… but it had still been a surprise for Applejack when he’d heaved at the wagon and she’d felt her hooves leave the ground.
“Joe…”
“Yes, Applejack.”
“Don’t do that again.”
“Of course not,” Joe replied, looking shocked. “Next time I’d have to make sure somepony else was here so they could tickle you…”
“Joe!”
“I mean, of course not. I would never repeat this dreadful imposition.”
“If that’s fancy talk for knowing if you do it again you get a kick where Rainbow would prefer you didn’t, then yep.”
“I’d prefer I didn’t get a kick there either,” Joe protested mildly, “even at worse they still have sentimental value.”
“Then don’t do that again.”
With Joe adequately reprimanded the rest of the hay was more smoothly transferred and by the time he’d swept out the barn it was getting late enough that Applejack told him he could go. Joe mentioned that Twilight Sparkle had asked him to go to the Golden Oaks Library early tomorrow so he’d not be able to make it to Sweet Apple Acres that morning and Applejack had assured him that was fine. If he could make it a few hours tomorrow then that would help, if he had to leave it until his normal day the day after tomorrow then that was still okay.
On a whim and feeling guilty that he’d let Rainbow Dash cheer him up rather than him asking her how she was holding up, as he had with Applejack, Joe turned onto the path towards Fluttershy’s cottage instead of his own hut. He was a bit sweaty but not too bad. Hopefully Dash would be there helping Fluttershy with the evening routine of the animals, and if she wasn’t then would still be worth the visit to check on Fluttershy. Though Joe’s feelings were rather mixed as he wasn’t sure how much he was going for the hope of seeing Rainbow Dash, how much because he felt guilty, and how much because of friendship.
The cottage looked and sounded peaceful as Joe crossed the bridge. Which was better than last time but what was not was the lack of any reply to his knock on the door. Joe paused, considered, and decided to see if the door was unlocked, and finding that it was he peered around it.
“Hello?”
Still no reply so Joe went in and looked around the neat and tidy interior, and was looked at in his turn by some of Fluttershy’s little friends. To his relief the bear wasn’t present as Joe was not keen on apex predators that were so scary humans traditionally used different names for them rather than say ‘bear’ and risk it coming to its name. Right now, he decided, even a raspberry from Angel Bunny would be welcome. Therefore the question was whether to leave, look around inside, or check out the back.
“Hello?”
Leaving would mean a wasted journey and looking around felt a little intrusive. Crossing straight through the cottage to go out the back door and see if anypony was in the back garden-field seemed fair. Joe was sure there was a path around the cottage but the slopes down from either side of it were quite steep and since Fluttershy was a Pegasus, and wouldn’t want things to escape, she might just fly-hop over a fence rather than have a gate that could be accidentally left open.
“Hello?”
Walking through the cottage and nodding to acknowledge any small critter that looked at him, which only seemed polite given how smart even the small things here seemed to be, Joe approached the back door. He pushed it open and, stooping slightly, went back out into the sunshine. Suddenly pain thumped into one side of the top of his head and he heard a resounding ‘donk’ as he staggered a little, more from surprise than the force of the impact.
“Oh my!” Fluttershy squeaked, the door swinging slightly closed again and revealing her hovering where she’d been concealed by it as it opened.
Joe rubbed at his head, looked at the small squirmy thing his fingers had found in his hair by doing that, and then at the bucket Fluttershy was holding. He smiled and looked down at himself and all the other worms and grubs and similar creatures on him and then began to laugh.
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy continued as Joe continued to laugh and began to dust some of his passengers off himself. “I didn’t mean to hit you with the edge of the bucket, it’s just you’re taller, and…”
“And I think at least one has gone down my shirt,” interrupted Joe, rolling his shoulders as he felt that, and a strange expression coming to his face.
“So you’d better take it off then,” Rainbow Dash suggested from the doorway.
Joe turned to look at her. “Did you just let me walk into that? I did call ‘hello’ a few times.”
“Maybe,” Rainbow Dash admitted, so Joe plucked a squirmy thing from his hair and flicked it at her. “Hey!”
“I’m glad you are feeling cheery today Fluttershy,” said Joe, turning back to her as she blushed and looked uncertain of what to do with the bucket.
“Yes, I’m sorry, I just…”
“Did something that from Dash’s reaction to one,” Joe grinned, “would have been a great prank with as many as you dumped on me?”
“Erm…” said Fluttershy, then she smiled back. “Yes.”
“If Twilight was here,” Joe commented, picking a caterpillar off one sleeve and looking at it for a moment, “then she’d warn about being influenced by your misplaced Cutie Marks…”
“I’m not worried about that,” admitted Fluttershy, “but when Discord… er…”
“Corrupted you?” Joe suggested.
“Influenced us,” said Fluttershy, ignoring the twitch of both Joe and Rainbow Dash’s expressions. “I did like cruel pranks…”
“This wasn’t cruel though,” Joe smiled, “as unpleasant as it is for these things inside my shirt it’s more pleasant for them than inside a bird.”
“Come on,” said Rainbow Dash at that reminder and with that excuse. “Shirt off.”
Joe shrugged and walked a few steps off to one side of the doorway, removed his shirt, and began brushing himself off. Rainbow Dash winked to Fluttershy who, as she’d not warned her friend at the lake, decided to not warn Joe of the stealthy approach of his marefriend. Balancing on her hind legs Rainbow Dash slowly extended one wing, and then brushed Joe’s bare back with it.
“Yeee!” Joe said, jumping at the surprise tickle. He’d been concentrating on a little grub that seemed particularly determined to stay in a fold of cloth.
“I said at the spa I’d get your back next time,” winked Rainbow Dash, settling back down onto all four hooves as Joe turned.
“And I thank you,” Joe replied, suppressing the temptation to flick another squirmy thing at her.
“So, erm, why are you here Joe?” asked Fluttershy.
“I’d finished at Sweet Apple Acres so I thought I’d see how things were here,” Joe replied, starting to put his shirt back on and ignoring Rainbow Dash’s slight ‘aw’ of disappointment, “rather than go straight back to my hut. You mentioned to Fluttershy that Twilight seems to be onto something for a cure, Dash?”
“Yeah.”
“So how are you two holding up?” Joe continued. “And sorry I didn’t ask earlier, Dash.”
“No problem, I’m fine,” said Rainbow Dash reassuringly. She glanced to Fluttershy and continued. “I’ll admit, again, I feel more like I should help Fluttershy with her animals, but she’s a good friend so I should help.”
“And I’m glad of the help and company, though I can manage so nopony should feel guilty and…” Joe looked at Fluttershy as she started to reassure rather than reply. “And I’m… I never wanted anypony to be unhappy, but it does feel, a little, that I should worry about them as well as making my animals happy.”
“People like you,” Joe reassured her, “so when you are there they are happier.” He finished his shirt buttons and sighed. “Though the Ponies at Sugarcube Corner seemed unappreciative, it was a free show so they were getting more than their money’s worth.”
“Thanks,” said Fluttershy with a slight smile.
“Ah, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just trying to find a bright side but seems that Cutie Mark twitches might be helping,” Joe sighed again. “Applejack said Granny Smith is happy to be teaching her about sewing. Dash has realised she can spare some time. And…” He smiled to Fluttershy. “If it’s bringing out your sense of humour then that might help with people…”
“Yeah,” agreed Rainbow Dash, “a few jokes, a little bit of banter, help you and them relax…”
“I’d rather be hit with a bucket of squirmy things than feel like I’m upsetting you,” Joe nodded.
“Oh,” blushed Fluttershy, wondering when she’d made Joe feel that way.
“Which doesn’t mean I like being hit by a bucket of squirmy things,” Joe added, looking at Rainbow Dash.
“Aw.”