CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
WHO MOURNS FOR DISCORD?
The False Admiral sneered and waggled his crystal rod at us. He snapped his fingers and Discord dropped the disguise, standing before us all in his Chaotic Glory!
“Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to notice your truly feeble attempt to get a message off to your precious Starfleet? You’re all so perfectly predictable! I’d hoped giving you hands would have made you just a little bit cleverer.” He shrugged, flipping the crystal from one paw to another. He seemed to forget about us for a moment, using the tuft of hair on his practically prehensile tail to dust the Pilot’s head like shi was a curio on a bookshelf. He smiled, pleased with his efforts, before giving us a sly look out of the corners of his maniacs eyes.
“That was my idea, don’t you know? One of my proudest moments!” He struck a heroic pose as unseen flashbulbs popped and a shower of confetti settled over him and the deck. In a literal flash he stood right before us, leaning in and gathering us into a huddle with his mismatched arms. He peered into each of our faces in turn as he went on.
“The ‘good and noble’…” He made air quotes, rolling his mad eyes. “Celestia just wanted to up and leave you all alone just the way you were…she always could be so stodgy in her way of thinking… and let you muddle through on your own. But I was sooo good.” Air quotes. “Sooo helpful.” Even more of them. “I stepped in on your side. I was your friend, Ponies! I saw how hard it was for all of you struggling to do the simplest tasks. I mean, really now! Swinging hammers, using wrenches, with your mouths? Yech!” He made a spitting-a-rotten-apple-out-of-your-mouth face! “I saved you from all that! I begged Celestia to give you that Last Gift… and she let me!” He chuckled like duranium ore tumbling down a chute.
“What?” Sunny was shocked to her core!
He was at her side in a blue flash, decked out suddenly in a ridiculous kilt decorated with multicolored squares. He wore a parody of Amber Rose’s jacket and had a silly little flat hat jammed on top of his head with a bobbing little poof on it. A ridiculous triple-chin lock dangled from under his mouth that fluttered like a flag every time he spoke.
“That’s rrright, Prrretty Prrrincess!” He made it a point to make his false Byrish accent as annoying as possible. “D’ye ken tha’ th’ High n’ Mighty Celestia could pull off sich a grrrand bit o’ Magic all by herrrself? Nay, Lllassie! T’was farrr n’ away beyond th’ likes o’ Her Llladyship, Grrrand old thing that she is! Hoot n’ begorrah!” He nudged Sunny with one elbow, leering into her eyes.
“Cut it out, Discord!” I snapped. “Besides, I thought you said she was dead!”
‘Admiral Quicksilver’ loomed over me one flash of light later, chucking me under the chin with that cold crystal wand.
“Mind your manners, Cadet!” He said softly, his eyes poised to strike like claws. He flipped the thing under his arm and strode away a few paces before whirling on me, practically spitting with rage!
“As far as your concerned she is! They all are!” He said, bitterly. “ You’ll never see them alive! Your whole, stupid quest is pointless!”
I regarded him coolly. In the presence of the Devil of Equestria it pays to be circumspect!
“We have evidence to the contrary.” I pointed out. “And, given your track record, I’m not inclined to take your word for anything.”
His rage evaporated in an instant. He chuckled slyly and began to step back toward me. Dazzle’s gun came up at once.
“That’s far enough, psycho!” She barked. “Make another move and I’ll be flushing your pink ashes down the nearest toilet!” With her thumb she switched her rifle to full power, her cold eyes never leaving the form of Admiral Quicksilver. She paid especially close attention to his hands… and the crystal baton!
Discord reverted to his normal self. The Dracoequitaur reared up and blinked at Dazzle with a smile on his face and a preposterous ten-gallon hat perched between his horns!
“Y’all got the drop on me, Pard!” He drawled in a corny Appleoosan accent. “Reckon it’s time fer the Last Roundup!” He plucked the hat from his head and posed with it over his breast, his eyes cast tragically toward a clock tower that sprang up off to the side. Both hands pointed straight up as it tolled its way through all twelve bongs. None of us moved.
I never saw it happen, but suddenly there was a smoldering cigar butt in Discords mouth! He worked it from one side of his mouth to the other while he slowly turned his head toward Dazzle. When he spoke his voice had become low and gravelly.
“Well.” He rasped. “Ya gonna shoot that dog-leg or whistle Dixie?” His eyes bored into hers. “Do you feel lucky, Punk? Do ya?” He took on deliberate step toward her…
Dazzle didn’t flinch. She squeezed the trigger and the phased-balefire rifle trilled its deep-throated song of destruction!
The brilliant blue beam caught him square in the middle of his chest and his entire being glowed as the nadion stream strove to sever the Strong Force binding his very molecules together. The green Balefire raged around him, trying to arcanely consume those same molecules down to the last quark and lepton!
I took a step back, trying to shield both Sunny and Stimbolt with my body. At this range and intensity there was a real danger of balefire spillage. Dazzle wasn’t taking any chances!
She kept him in the beam for five long seconds, the trilling rising in pitch slowly until she was in danger of overloading the gun. She snarled at the impossibly intact form before her silently as she switched off, her eyes trying to do what the balefire couldn’t!
Discord admired his radiant self as the Witchfire danced on and clawed at him impotently.
“Hmm.” He mused. “Not unlike a Crystal Pony, wouldn’t you say? Pity about them! But that wasn’t my doing, that was all on you people!” He began twirling the balefire up on the claw of one finger like it was cotton candy until it was concentrated in a roiling ball. He contemplated it for a moment, poking it here and there with his crystal as stray bits threatened to spin loose. His tail came up and the scraggly tuft on the end snapped exactly like a pair of fingers! A glass materialized, hovering in front of him obediently. He tossed the balefire into it and poured it into his mouth. He tilted his head back and gargled with the stuff, waggling his eyebrows at us lewdly all the time! Mouth full, he looked around for a place to spit it out. His eyes fell on Dazzle with malevolent glee…
He expectorated the whole thing out in a disgusting, green-glowing blob that struck the balefire rifle squarely! Dazzle didn’t have time to react. The rifle went up in a nimbus of plasma, Dazzle went down with flickers of Witchfire licking her body! She didn’t scream, though she did make a choked, snarling sound as she slapped futilely at the green flames!
Sunny darted to her side, her horn lighting up with a balefire-dampening spell and her hands tearing open her bag. Discord conjured up a napkin and wiped his mouth delicately, indifferent to the display.
I stepped up, placing myself between Dazzle and Discord. I didn’t ball my fists though I dropped into a combat stance. Every fiber of my being flared with the desire to rip the smug right off that smirking face and cram it down the bleeding stump of his neck! It took all the Augmentation at my command to keep my voice level…
“All right! You proved we can’t hurt you! Leave my Ponies alone, you gene-addled Defective! I was the one who figured out how to get the message past your Magic. It was my responsibility. Take out your petty wrath on me but leave these Ponies alone!”
Discord regarded mockingly. “Well…” His head changed into one of a pretty orange and blonde Mare with half-a-dozen red freckles adorning her cheeks. She wore a cowpony hat and who she was supposed to be was a complete mystery to me! “Aren’t you the honest one?” ‘She’ shook ‘her’ head, morphing back to its asymmetric, wild-eyed self! I refused to be impressed or intimidated!
“Do you spend all your time impersonating others because you can’t stand yourself?” I strained my ears backwards to get some idea of how Dazzle was doing. I could hear strained gasps and could make out the bitter smell of charred clothing… and fur.
Discord laughed!
“Oh, don’t try to get inside my head, Starry-Eyes!” His own eyes blossomed with exaggerated stars for pupils as he leant over and put a paw over my shoulder, drawing close. His head expanded like a balloon until it popped. “There’s nothing there!” His voice echoed from all around as I recoiled from the sight.
He blinked out from beside me to reappear next to Stimbolt who jumped and gave me a desperate look.
“You don’t say much, do you?” He poked the Middie in the middle with a claw. He flinched then drew himself up resolutely. When he tried to speak all the poor buck could manage was a weak squeak. He drew a ragged breath and tried again.
“I’m sorry.” He stated with a nervous shrug. “I’ve never met a god before.” He gave me a wan smile.
“And you haven’t yet!” I glared at Discord. “There’s nothing Divine about him. He’s as alien as a Tellarite… and Magical as an Alicorn, to boot!”
“Now look who’s calling whom an Alien!” Discord patted Stimbolt on the shoulder companionably and bent his head down next to his. “Ask her what planet she comes from! ‘Alien’, indeed! …She certainly throws her weight around a lot, doesn’t she?” He gave the hapless Middie a dig with an elbow. “Then again, she certainly has a lot of weight to throw around!” He chuckled and tipped him a wink.
“At least I don’t look like I’m cobbled together from leftovers.” I said defensively, a pang of embarrassment making me blush. He certainly knew what buttons to push, damn him! I wished I could take that damn crystal and whack him over the head with it… repeatedly!
“You’re just jealous!” He stuck an improbably long tongue out at me… which sprouted a small tongue of its own that gave me a miniature raspberry! Goddesses! I HATED this clown!
“If you were to ask me…” He flashed back to where I stood. “You’re the one with the image problem, not me! I’m happy being who I am! Poor old Starry-Eyes…” He patted my head and gave me a pityingly look. …I HATE being patronized! “ You’re personality is constantly at odds with your physical predicament, isn’t it?” While Discord’s back was turned, Stimbolt began quietly working on the Gorn’s board. The Mare in my head wondered what he was up to, but the looming presence next to me drew her attention right back.
“Trust me!” Discord wrapped an arm around my shoulder and threw out the other in a dramatic gesture. “I know what it’s like being stuck in a form that doesn’t suit one’s self! You could say it’s a heavy burden to bear!” He brought one paw to his brow melodramatically! His voice dripped bitterness in another one-hundred-eighty degree shift .“Like a stone around ones neck!”.
He switched again in an instant as he came to stare into my face muzzle-to-muzzle! I stared into his mad, mad eyes as my mind raced. Sunny told me that he’d spent a thousand years as a stone statue. Tyllae waxed eloquent about what it was like…
“W-wait!” I protested.
“Oh, it’s no trouble!” His eyes began to rotate in opposite directions as he smiled nastily. “I’m happy to help! Nothing is too good for such a nice, responsible Pony like you!”
The Ship’s computer couldn’t have reacted faster! Balefire didn’t faze him. Realistically, I didn’t have a hope in Hell of touching him… much less killing him. But, if I was going to end up as a statue, even if he burned petrochemicals he was going to have a hard time breathing with a stone hand wrapped around his windpipe!
I was dazzled by the blue flash even as I felt my arm move! My hand closed upon empty air as he brought a claw up and snapped his fingers! Blue radiance washed through my eyes, blinding me. A burst of almost electric intensity passed through me, over and done before I could even spasm. My skin crawled, every follicle of my fur stirred and bristled. The air in my lungs burst forth in an incoherent, strangely deep, cry! Discord looked on with an expression of malevolent glee…
I blinked and sagged where I stood, amazed that I was able to move anything at all! I drew a deep breath and stood erect, flipping my mane out of my face. I sneered defiantly at the Prince of Chaos.
“Not quite infallible, are you? Nice to know…” I paused, shocked at the baritone of my voice! A second, much more fundamental shock went through me as I felt my blouse collapse and sag across my chest. The worst shock of all came as I became acutely of the fact that the skimpy underwear Sunny coaxed me into wearing was suddenly waaay too tight and confining! And what was that bunched up in the front!?
I clutched my chest and encountered only firm flatness! I yanked my blouse up to my throat and peered down in disbelief at the broad, muscular pectorals I exposed! In a panic I pulled my slacks open and confronted what winked up at me!
“What the Hell…?” I clutched at my throat, my fingers informing me of the strange, hard swelling there as that strange, deep voice boomed in my ears. The Mare in my head gaped at her readouts and locked down her Bridge as I reeled.
Ok, I fainted! …But it wasn’t as if I didn’t have a reason to!
I came to flat on my butt, propped up on my back-spread arms with my tail splayed out behind me. Sunny was holding my lolling head with her forehead pressed tightly against mine the tears streaming from her tightly shut eyes. Dazzle, her naked and raw burns glistening with the dressings Sunny had applied, propped me up with her body. From behind Discord, Stimbolt gaped at me over the console he’d been fiddling with.
“Now who said anything about stone? Not a bad job, makes me wish I’d thought of it!” Discord regarded the end of his crystal baton fondly before polishing the end with an elbow, beaming proudly! He strolled over and bent his body over to address me. “Don’t thank me, you’re welcome! It’s the least I could do for your all services!” He flipped again, snickering malevolently once more.
“What the Hell are you talking about, you Goddess-damned freakshow?” Dazzle snarled. “The only service I’m gonna do for you is piss on your rotting corpse!”
Unimpressed, Discord snapped his fingers and the Security Chief was suddenly gagging on the thick, wool sock sticking out of her mouth! She brought her mangled hooves up to yank it out, hissing in pain and raw rage!
“Tsk, tsk, tsk! In my day, Ponies were much more circumspect in their speech!” The sock came free and Dazzle drew a breath. A froth-covered bar of soap popped out of nowhere and hovered in front of her face menacingly. She held her peace.
“Please!” Sunny lifted her tear-stained face to him. “Put her back as she was! Ye’re older’n th’ whole Pony race! Ye must be wiser than us! Be merciful in yer wisdom! Why are ye doin’ this?”
He knelt, his body bending impossibly in that serpentine way of his, and lifted Sunny’s chin with one talon. He became clad in brilliant scarlet-and-gold robes. His muzzle suddenly sported two thin, drooping moustaches that dangled limply below him as he peered solemnly into her eyes.
“Why not? He asked dispassionately, then sprang to his feet again! A violet nimbus formed behind him and lightning crackled within it. He brandished his crystal on high and cackled like the mad thing he was!
“I’m CHAOS, you silly foal!” He thundered. “My only rule is that there are no rules!” With a flash of light he was suddenly sitting in an overstuffed chair, wearing a plaid smoking jacket and puffing an enormous meerschaum pipe in the likeness of himself. He regarded her mildly over the half-moon glasses perched on the end of his muzzle. “Does that answer your question, my Dear?”
I surged to my hooves, ignoring what was getting pinched and painfully tweaked by my undies as I changed position and knelt next to Sunny and hugged her protectively.
“Don’t beg him for anything, Sunny!” I growled, my new vocal apparatus adding whole new dimensions to the sound! “He’s not worth it!” That bar of soap swooped in my direction. I snatched it out of the air and squeezed for all I was worth. This thing yelped in alarm just before soap squirted spurted between my fingers in all directions. I flung what remained at him but what made it over there was a shower of daisies that swooped and swarmed and arranged themselves as dainty little floral crowns atop the heads of the motionless Gorn crew folk!
I stood and took a step, keeping myself between Discord and Sunny. I winced as some particularly tender new equipment got into a bind! With a snort I reached down into my slacks with both hooves and tore my underwear in half, the act of ripping it out from under my clothing and flinging it away bringing new pain to parts I’d only theorized about before. The discomfort stopped being a warning and only served to feed the mounting and towering rage that pounded in my very blood!
Sure, I’ve been mad as Hell before… on more than a few occasions! But I’d never before experienced the kind of overarching, bloody-minded urge to stomp and trample I was feeling right at that moment. I was dimly aware of the Mare in my head wondering if this was what testosterone felt like…
It took every quantum scrap of Focus at my disposal to drag myself to a stop. I balled fists the size of basketballs, the hard tips of my hooves at the ends of my fingers digging into my palms. My chest was tight and I realized I was positively snorting as I glared at the mismatched figure who steepled talons and claws as he regarded me with amusement.
It was that mocking smirk on his face that halted me more than anything else, though. The only thing more galling than being provoked to anger was becoming a source of entertainment by doing it! My Pride, it seems, was more overweening than my Anger.
I ground to a halt like one of the ancient Bolo Fighting Machines as some of the metaphorical red receded from my vision. I planted my hooves and willed myself out of the combat crouch I’d fallen into.
“No.” My baritone voice shocked me even further away from my primal wrath. “Dress me up all you want, I’m not going to perform for you. You want to hold me responsible? Fine! I am. That’s what I get paid for and that’s what I choose to do.” With an effort I lowered my arms and opened my fists.
“You said I did you a service…I’m curious to know just what such an ostensibly omnipotent creature such as yourself needs somepony like me to do for him. Or are you, indeed, less than make yourself out to be? Why start an interstellar war between the Federation and these ‘Gorn’?”
As an attempt at needling and turning the tables it was a feeble ploy… but it was better than yelling and shaking my fist!
As I spoke I watched Discord’s smirk quaver and twitch as he fought unsuccessfully to contain himself. By the time I finished he broke down completely, hooting and cackling in glee and thrashing himself around in his chair! …I did mental cube roots in base three numbers to keep myself from doing something futile!
“That voice! Coming from that hairdo!” He pounded on the arm of his chair, wiping at his eyes. “You’re hilarious! Just like when the Poison Joke made Flu…” His mirth faltered and the smile twisted into a sneer as he flipped again.
“But she’s dead.” He said with bitter flatness. “ They’re all dead! The Others never really wanted to trust me, but they did while she lived! That’s the trouble with you Ponies!” He glowered at me like a thunderstorm coming over Mount Thunderball! “You prate and prattle about your precious ‘Friendship’, but it never lasts, doesn’t it? A few decades and then what? Feebleness and Death! It’s all so useless!”
The chair and the floral crowns disappeared in a flash and he suddenly towered over me with his eyes blazing, one violet, the other livid green!
“She could have lived forever… but, no, she wouldn’t let me do it! All I could do was watch as that stupid disease ate her alive! It was beyond Pony doctors, but I could have saved her with just a thought!” He snarled, his eyes looking at something far away and long ago. They snapped back to me an instant later shining like twin portals to Hell. The Devil of Equestria is always depicted as evil and insane… it was somehow unsettling to see the hurt in those glowing orbs.
“I kept the pain away right up to the end. Celestia…” He spat the name scornfully. “Let me do that much in her infinite goodness! ‘Don’t cry because she’s gone, smile because you knew her!’ That was her ‘Divine Advice’! The Wise and Powerful Celestia! Pah!” He spat a glowing green gobbet across the room in a brass cuspidor that suddenly appeared there… it went up in a small, green mushroom cloud. A shockwave fluttered the cuffs of my slacks and muted thunder rolled across the alien Bridge.
“Fluttershy. I remember th’…” Sunny began and stopped dead as Discords’ neck telescoped to reach her.
“If you… or anypony… say her name again you’re going to find out what it’s like to be a transgendered iguana like ‘Godzilla’, here…” He reached out a talon to flick Green Tunic on the side of hir head in emphasis. It rang somehow, like a bell! “With parasites!” Discord raging and loud was par for the course… but the eerie calm that took him at that point was enough to make my blood run cold!
He looked away into to the far side of the room. An image had formed there. A yellow, quadrepedal Mare lay in a hospital. Her mane was gone, only a few patches of pink fuzz showed beneath a brilliant pink headband that was decorated with golden butterflies. There were IV’s running in each foreleg and her huge eyes were shut.
She was thin, emaciated. Her cheeks rose up over her hollow cheeks and her limbs were incredibly slender, accenting her already fragile, doll-like appearance
She wasn’t alone. Her friends thronged her bedside. A shockingly pink-on-pink Earth Pony, a dusting of gray on a few of the locks of her incredibly curly mane, finished tying a bunch of bright pink balloons that bore bright yellow butterflies to the headboard. She alone had a smile on her face, defiant and subdued.
Next to her was a cyan-blue Pegasus with a garish, red, yellow, green, and blue mane and tail. Not a speck of gray marked her, but her face carried a few wrinkles beside those eyes bright with unshed tears. She toughed it out, this Pony, being brave for the sake of the Others.
Beside her stood an orange and blonde Earth Pony Mare who had a smattering of small, red freckles on her honest, open face. With a small shock I recognized the Mare that Discord had partially impersonated moments before. This one looked oldest of the rest, strands of gray ran through her mane and she looked… tired. She held a cowpony hat pressed against her breast with one hoof and her head was bowed. A frankly gorgeous white and purple Unicorn, her lips pressed thin and trembling, raised a hoof and laid it on her shoulder. Three diamonds shone on her flank and her stylish tail drooped.
The last Pony was an Alicorn, purple with an indigo and mauve mane. She sat primly opposite the Pink Mare with her eyes squeezed shut, diamonds of tears bright in the corners. She hugged… I blinked twice… a white rabbit in her forelegs that seemed to be glaring accusingly right at us! Behind her was an open window through which a glorious, golden sun shone. There was a collection of brightly-colored birds perched on the windowsill, their voices raised in a harmonious, whistling melody…
In the foreground of the tableaux an eagle’s talon and a lion’s paw lay softly on the sheet-covered side of the sleeping Mare. She stirred and lifted her head wearily. Her enormous, lovely eyes opened slowly and she took in every face around her. Her eyes settled last upon us before closing One Last Time. The head settled down on the pillow and her last breath went out in a tiny…squeak.
Talon and paw snatched away from the figure and the point of view wrenched around to settle on….The Goddesses!
We all of us gasped at the statuesque Alicorn Mare with the gleaming white coat, towering white horn, and improbably huge, multicolored pastel mane that rippled slowly in an unseen wind. She wore a harness in which an enormous golden topaz shone and a regal gold, bejeweled tiara rested behind her horn. Her wings were folded demurely at her sides as he bowed her head in Respect For The Dead. When she raised it again, she looked straight at us with pain and sympathy and sadness is those majestic eyes.
“Do not cry because she is gone, Discord. Smile because you knew her.” She said softly.
Beside her the other Alicorn stirred. Smaller than Celestia, she was a vision of midnight blue and shades of purple. He soft mane glowed like a nebula in the deeps of space and I would swear there were tiny stars in it! She wore a harness in similar fashion to her Sister, though hers was deep indigo and bore the device of a crescent Moon upon it. A small tiara of jet nestled upon her regal head. She stood straight, her sadness no less than any of the others but kept tightly reined within the straitjacket of the Royal Dignity she took very seriously indeed!
Luna bowed her head and her horn glowed. A purple nimbus gathered up the end of the sheet and drew it up to cover the lifeless face solemnly. She stepped forward and touched the corpse with her horn in benediction.
“She is gone from this world but not from our hearts. Remember, Ponies. Death is but a Door.” He voice was like that of a foal old beyond her years. It was compelling, hinting at things hidden in shadows… and was soft as the Night. She paused to nuzzle the form beneath the sheet, the tears she’d suppressed peeking out from under her eyelids. “Another Star Shines in the Night.” She said quietly.
We all jumped as Discord howled! He leapt at the image and slashed it with his crystal wand again and again, ripping it into tatters. He wadded the pieces up in a ball and tossed it into the air where it went up in a blazing scarlet display of tiny, blazing Discords belching flames!
Maybe Dazzle was foggy from painkillers. Maybe the pain made her too mad to care. In any event she came to her hooves with a lurch.
“Let me get this straight!” She snarled. “You’re all bent out of shape because you’re carrying a torch for some dead Bimbo out of a Pony Tale? Grow up and get over it, already!”
“PONY!!” The Spirit of Chaos thundered, somehow growing too tall to be standing on the deck of the alien ship. “YOU’VE EARNED THIS!!” His eyes blazed like molten, moldy gold and the Crystal Prism came to bear on the hapless Dazzle who, bless her heart, stood her ground like a trooper!
Behind him, Stimbolt closed a final circuit…
Half the displays on the Gorn ship stuttered and winked off. Alarms that sounded like urgent bird calls sounded as overloads tripped…
Discord whirled on Stimbolt. “What are you…ow!”
He flinched and took a step back, raising his arms to hold the crystal defensively in front of him! He wavered like a video transmission during an ion storm and screamed! His body stretched back and forth vertically and horizontally maybe half a dozen times in rapid succession, his contorted body frozen in attitudes of agony. I can’t say that I sympathized with him!
Eldritch lightning flashed around the Bridge! Stimbolt threw himself down as a bolt of green malevolence nearly demolished the console he’d be working on. More bolts scored hits on other displays, but they were falling randomly as if The Prince of Chaos was losing the ability to aim them accurately. The Gorn Captain took on square in hir chest that blew her out of hir seat and flung hir to the deck. Dazzle dived and bore Sunny flat, covering her with her body. I was just fast enough to dodge one that blackened the deck by my left hoof. Every hair on me stood on end as the left side of my body spasmed with electricity. I tumbled and rolled onto my back just in time to see Discord lose coherency entirely! His entire being devolved into a twisting green cloud no bigger than my head, the crystal twirling in mid-air! As I watched a talon reached out of the cloud to snatch it up, then cloud and crystal vanished along with the fading sound of Discord’s final wail!
Silence finally returned to the Bridge. I sat up and slapped at the flames licking the side of my pants!
“Stimbolt!” I bellowed. “Are you still with us?” I twisted around to see Sunny and Dazzle disentangling themselves. I winced to see Dazzle crawling around on her elbows, her burned and blistered hooves held up high and she scrambled off Sunny who was scrambling to make her way to me with her Medical bag in tow.
Stimbolt crawled out on all fours from behind the central displays and peered around the legs of the Gorn there.
“Is he gone?”
Dazzle got to her hooves and stood cautiously.
“Looks that way!” She paused to survey the smoking Bridge. “Kid, what the hell did you do?”
Stimbolt had crawled over to help Sunny who just shooed him away impatiently as she examined my burns. He got to his knees and grinned sheepishly up at the Security Chief.
“I let him have it with alternating subspace pulses from the Gorn sensors! It made sense at the time. After all, that’s how we got around his communications blackout in the first place.” He shrugged. “He wasn’t physically here when we arrived so his appearance had to be the result of his ‘transmitting’ himself here in real-time. If he’s transmitting in real-time the only way he could do that is via subspace…unless he’s less than a tenth of a light second away… so I used the sensor emitters to basically jam his signal with an overloaded series of random emissions. Like an EMP with old-style electronics.” He looked around the devastated Bridge with his Engineer’s Eye. “I, uh, may have overdone it…a bit!”
“Hay! If it’s worth doing it’s worth overdoing!” Dazzle tipped the Middie a wink. “Good job, kid!”
“Well…” Stimbolt rubbed the back of his neck. “It got the job done! Just wish I could have done it sooner.” He added ruefully, not quite looking at me or Dazzle.
I sighed with relief as the knots in my muscles relaxed under the spell of Sunny’s horn. Without the distraction of the raving Discord she’d already tended my burns, the blisters and char reduced to smooth, healthy skin even as I watched. When I tried to catch her eye she hurried over to finish tending Dazzle…I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat.
“Subspace EMP, did you say?” I forced my attention back to the situation at hoof and carefully stood, putting weight on my burned leg gingerly. “Then our equipment is probably slagged. Congratulations, Stimbolt! You just trashed tens of thousands of credits worth of Starfleet Property…” Stimbolt blanched, no doubt imagining what Jerry would say later! “And you saved our collective oatmeal! I’m recommending you for a citation. Like the Mare said, Good Job… and thank you!”
“No problem, Starry! Looking harmless has its charms, doesn’t it? But, like I said, if I’d been quicker about it you and the Chief wouldn’t have ended up…well, you know.” He trailed off and broke eye contact.
Involuntarily I looked down at myself, then over to Sunny casting her Magic on Dazzle’s balefire burns. I made it a point to catch the Middie’s eye.
“It couldn’t be helped, Stimbolt.” I said gently. “How could anypony predict how Chaos will play out? It’s…” One of my hooves wandered up to my chest as if it couldn’t believe what it didn’t find there. “A hazard of the job.” I said more bitterly than I intended.
“We’re alive and we have to get in touch with the Hermes!” I said briskly. “Unless we’ve been very lucky our communicators won’t even be able to transmit on radio frequencies. I’m hoping the Gorn’s communications systems might be in better shape, otherwise we’ll have to cobber something together. Everypony check your communicators for radio capability.”
I retrieved mine and flipped it open without much hope. It was dead. Well, a transtator could only take so much…
“Mine’s gone.” Stimbolt pronounced. “Then again, I was at Ground Zero, wasn’t I?”
Sunny got Dazzles’ for her then checked her own. Dazzle peered at the displays.
“All we got here is a matching pair of bookends, Starry!” She announced. “Good for recycling, but not much else.”
“So much for that.” I acknowledged. “Try the Gorns’ board, Stimbolt.”
“Right!” The Middie circled around Copper Tunic and reached for the Communications Station. As he stretched out his arm the aura around the Pseudoreptilians faded away! Their eerie, orange eyes blinked from the sides once, twice, thrice! Hissing gasps of surprise arose from all of them at once. Stimbolt had time for one comment.
“Crap!”
…Which just about summed it up!