"Blond hairs turn green if you use too much bleach, you know?", the cookie offered as he lazed in the hot batter springs beside me and a pancake holding onto a spoon. "You don't need to be a rocket scientist to tie your shoelaces, but it helps."
I agreed with a nod that made the world around me shimmer and get replaced by an endless desert. A scarecrow was swatting at a vulture sitting on top of a large cactus plant with a face cut into it.
"Do you know the way to Tipperary?" the cactus asked, as if it was the most normal thing to do, and I stumbled sideways into a wall of ice cream.
"There's only so much fun one can have sliding down a slope. Why not slide up it?", Discord's voice called out, and I saw him ice-skating up a vertical slope.
"Didn't I tell you fever dreams are amazingly fun?" he asked with a wink, but then I fell backward into a tub of red gelatin. The taste of strawberries hit me and I felt panic rise up.
I had to swim! I would drown if I wasn't swimming! I flailed my arms around and hit something that shouted "OUCH!"
I sat up straight in bed and looked around me at the things surrounding me. It was so NORMAL! There were no talking cookies! "WHERE ARE THE TALKING COOKIES?!?", I demanded, while blood leaked down from my forehead into my eyes.
A pink-haired girl with one eye looking bigger than the other moved into view, her one hand rubbing at her face while the other started to push me back.
"NO! You can't make me drown in the gelatin tub!" I exclaimed in fear and panic, but as I fell backward I saw the world around me starting to spin until the ride stopped and everyone climbed out of the teacups to go to the other rides in the park.
I had a biiiiig fluffy ball of cotton candy in my hands and they were sticking to everything! I was trying to get out of the ride, really I was. But the cotton candy spider wouldn't let me. She was weaving me into the teacup web and then the world started to spin again spinning around and around and around.
And then it stopped and something started to push everything away. I was all alone. Just a little child sitting on a black plane. Nothing around me for miles. The floor wasn't even really there. It was just a black plane without form or definable surface.
But from the darkness a pair of eyes started to form, and then the shape of a horse followed behind. The stars came out around her, spreading out through the sky, and the plane I was sitting on became a comfortable bed.
"Calm down, little Josey," Princess Luna cooed, sitting down beside me and using a wing to pull me closer to her. "Let us sit and watch the stars. You're doing very good. You just have to hold on for a little longer. Do you understand?"
I nodded and pressed my small form to the side of the big pony lady, smiling up at her as her wing folded around me to protect me from the scary things. She had a calming aura around her. I liked her. It was easy to calm down and just lay against her and fall asleep and know no fear.
I woke up to the sounds of talking in the room. Rhonda lay on the bed beside me, half covered by the bloodstained sheets. I stirred in shock as I noticed them, but then felt a dark wing drape over me and felt peace return to my mind.
I slowly turned to see Luna standing beside the bed, a wing casually draped over me while she was talking to her sister Celestia. I wasn't fully awake yet and only got shards of their conversation. Nothing I could make sense of.
Instead of focusing on them talking, I looked up at the big thing poking out of my head. I knew it was a horn. It was a big one too. It stuck out of my head several inches to the point where I could actually see the tip of it if I looked up.
Ten inches at least. Thin and wiry and looking a bit like mint canes with the dried-up blood still in the dimples of the otherwise white object. I blinked my eyes at it a few times, then reached up to touch it but was stopped by Luna moving her wing up as well.
"You don't want to touch your horn just yet, little Josey. Give it some time to settle," she spoke to me directly, and I turned my weary eyes in her direction.
"You've been in and out of your fever dreams for the entire night. Rhonda wouldn't leave your side. Celestia and I have been taking turns watching over you as well. It is not often that we see a true princess being born."
"A princess?", I wondered.
Luna nodded toward my horn. "It is as long as our own."
Celestia joined her side and smiled lightly. "Zecora said you had magic potential, but to find one of our own among you humans is a rare gift indeed."
I felt my cheeks burn at all that, but didn't really know what to say, so I looked off to my side instead. A lock of green hair fell over my eyes and I absentmindedly blew it out of my face before realizing what it meant. "My.. my mane!"
"It was an interesting sight to see, miss Josey," Magic Ink offered. "The process was very gradual, quite similar to what happened with miss Rhonda's mane."
I stared at the blue pony on the other side of the bed, still with the notepad and quill floating in front of him and watched him scrape a hoof over the floor in an uneasy manner before he walked over to hide behind Celestia.
I then looked up at the sisters Celestia and Luna and reached a hand up again. Luna moved to stop me with her wing, but I moved my arm around it and rubbed at the side of my head, taking her note of leaving my horn alone for now for good advice.
"I have no idea what all happened. I think I ate a cookie with Discord or something. I wake up with this bump sticking out of my head one morning, and the next I know we're whisked away to Equestria to do... what? I don't even know what is expected of us."
Celestia and Luna shared a look between them, then looked back at me and Celestia took a step closer to the bed. "This situation is new to us as well. It has been hinted at in the archives for thousands of years, but to have somepony go out and try to prove it is... unheard of. We sent Twilight Sparkle out to the library in the Crystal Empire in the hopes there are any records there that were lost in time when the empire got sealed away, but we're unsure if there is anything to help us with this. Zecora tries to slow down the growth of Spritelight's magic on Earth, but it's a losing battle. The more humans that get affected by it, the faster they change. Discord has been keeping an eye on Earth and said we've got a little over two-hundred cases already. Most of which are bronies."
I just stared up blankly at that. "We're pegasisters," I offered, reaching sideways to lightly brush my hand through Rhonda's mane.
"We are still learning the right terminology," Celestia replied with a smirk. "What Discord has found is both discouraging as well as remarkable. Most of the affected humans are hiding their newfound changes from the rest of the world or are using little tricks to make them seem like a new fashion style. It's actually catching on to those that aren't affected yet. Discord tries his best to keep the two separate and only send Zecora to the affected ones, but it's proving difficult. Zecora has already visited several people that were not yet changing."
"So... what you're saying is that people are turning into ponies and they're ok with it?", I wondered, not sure what to think of it all.
"It's more that they're treating it like a fad, Jo," Rhonda muttered, crawling up a bit closer to my side and resting her head against my bosom. "You bled a lot... I did what I could to stop the bleeding but it just wouldn't stop. I was so worried."
I looked down at her and gently stroked my hand through her mane. "I'm.. feeling ok? I could use a drink, but I don't have a headache anymore? It's just a little strange.. the weight of the thing," I pondered, moving my head about a little and feeling my horn swish through the air as I did. "It's not heavy, but it's.."
"Awkward?", both Celestia and Luna offered at the same time, and we all giggled a little at that.
"Yeah.. it feels weird to move it around. I'm not used to it," I decided with a shrug.
"Hm.. I remember when we were just young foals. I kept popping the balloons at our birthday party by looking around myself," Celestia chuckled. "It'll grow on you. Just give it a few centuries."
Luna frowned at that. "It doesn't really take that long. Just look at Twilight," she remarked, and Celestia turned her head to face her sister's, the tips of their horns barely missing one another as she did.
"Twilight was a good student. I expected nothing less," Celestia stated, beaming proudly at that. "Cadance had more trouble with it."
"You don't just turn a Pegasus into an Alicorn. I could have told you that, dear sister," Luna snorted, shaking her head a little. "If I hadn't been stuck in the moon at the time, she would've still been a Pegasus."
"And we would have Sombra in charge of the Crystal Empire, dearest sister," Celestia retorted, to which Luna blushed and looked away.
"Er.. excuse me.. are we still in the conversation?" I quipped, blinking between the two a bit.
"Since when was Cadance a Pegasus?", Rhonda asked with a frown.
"They're all yours, big sis." Luna grinned, stepping away and looking out of the window. "It is daytime, after all. I will come back when night falls."
"Very mature," Celestia chuckled, giving a nod to her younger sister. "See you tonight, dear sister."
Luna bowed to us and then stepped out of the door, spreading her wings and taking to the air. Magic Ink had to close the door behind her.
Celestia then turned to us and smiled weakly. "When I first met Cadance her loving heart had helped a poor deluded pony see the error of their ways. Missing my sister Luna and finding the Pegasus had no family but the Earth ponies that adopted her, I decided to adopt her as my royal niece and gave her the gift of being an Alicorn."
Rhonda nodded at that. "Like with Twilight?"
"Oh no," Celestia offered with a smile, sinking through her hooves so we wouldn't have to look up at her too much. "Twilight did that all on her own. I just helped guide her to her destiny."
"So what's going to happen to me?" I asked, not getting much help from those explanations.
Celestia sighed and looked a bit more solemn. "Your bodies will adjust to become like ours. Rhonda's horn would have started to grow already if she were a Unicorn. Unless she starts sprouting wings soon, she will become an Earth pony. In your case, Josey, your wings will start to sprout soon. And I'm sorry to say that Spritelight's magic seems to enjoy hurting you.. We will do everything in our power to keep you from going through another fever like that."
"Oh, joy," I sighed, while Rhonda clung to me a bit tighter. "Any idea when that will happen?"
Celestia shook her head. "Magic Ink here is keeping track of your progress so we can help others like you if it ever happens again. But you're the first ponies we felt we could bring to Canterlot. Your magic potential combined with the love you two feel for one another reminds me of Cadance and Shining Armor."
"We're not a couple, though," I protested, but Rhonda poked me immediately after I said so and looked up with her puppy eyes.
"Or.. maybe we are," I corrected myself at seeing her, and she broke into a smile which could have raised the sun if Celestia hadn't done it already. I had to chuckle at it and reached down to gently pet the top of her head.
Celestia just watched us with a smile on her face. "As I said, you two are special."
"Is this allowed, though? In Equestria?", I wondered, looking back up at the princess. "I mean, we're both girls.. Or fillies.. or mares.. or how you want to call us. There are some people on Earth who are very opposed to our kind of relationship."
Celestia frowned at that. "It is impossible to put restraints on love, Josey. Anypony who would try such is deluding themselves. As Chrysalis found out; true love will always find a way to break through any restriction."
Rhonda nodded at that. "Josey and me have known each other for years and years now. We're never going to be apart. Rho and Jo forever, right Jo?"
I smiled down and just continued petting my sweet.. well.. girlfriend. "Forever, Rho. I will never leave you alone."
"Forever is a long time, you know?", Discord offered, sticking his head in the room. "Hello Celestia, how are the kids?", the Draconequus wondered, sauntering into the room as if he owned the place.
"The kids?", Rhonda meeped, clinging a bit tighter to me.
"Why, you of course. It's such a precious sight seeing you two grow up to become proper ponies," Discord spoke with a wink in our direction. "I had a lovely time ice skating, by the way. Thank you for dreaming up that mountain," he offered to me in particular, then sat down on Magic Ink's back. "Is this seat taken?"
"Discord..." Celestia sighed, standing up and walking over. "What did we tell you about using ponies as chairs?"
"That they weren't as comfortable as they should be?", Discord grinned, but got up regardless. "So this is where I give him a cloud sorbet?"
"What is it with you and sorbets?", I cut in, "Didn't you already offer him a rainbow sorbet when you made the portal in my room?"
"Ooh, she's witty," Discord gasped in amusement, snaking past Celestia and holding out a pair of rainbow-colored sorbets to Rhonda and myself.
"Er.. no, thank you. I saw how Pinkie Pie reacted when she had a taste of rainbow.. that stuff is a little too spicy for my tastes," I offered, warding it off with my free hand while keeping Rhonda nice and close with my other. "And I don't think Rhonda trusts you," I sighed, looking down at her while she tried to hide away from him.
"Suit yourself. More for me," Discord giggled, putting one sorbet on top of the other and taking a bite out of the upside-down glass bowl covering the top one.
"Discord! Was there anything you wanted to say?" Celestia demanded.
"Fine, fine, be boring like that. I found another couple of affected humans. That brings the total to," he looked over to the side where a large sign appeared with "This many humans turned into ponies:" with a digital counter underneath quickly counting up from zero. As the counter hit 255 the numbers started to blink and confetti cannons shot colorful snippets of paper up in the air to fall around us. "Two-hundred and fifty-five humans!", Discord exclaimed like a television show host, taking on a very dramatic pose.
The room got quiet as everypony in it just stared at him until he finally straightened his back, patted himself down, and made the counter and confetti disappear with a snap of his fingers. "You're all boring," he huffed, then disappeared himself with a flash.
"I don't even," I started, shaking my head a little while Rhonda dared to let go of me a little more.
"He tries to be good, but it is difficult for him to control his urges," Celestia smirked, then looked towards Magic Ink. "Got that? 2-5-5. Let's send a message to Zecora in case Discord conveniently forgets to fill her in. And while you're out there, have a bath prepared. Josey and Rhonda look like they could use one."
The blue stallion nodded at receiving his orders and galloped off while Celestia approached us again. "That said, you dears may want to get out of bed so we can have housekeeping clean the sheets. And to be on the safe side, I'll have a guard keep tabs on you at all times until your wings sprout. We don't want you falling off of the walls before you learned how to fly, do we?"
"Yeah.. that would be bad," I agreed, helping Rhonda sit up before pulling the sheets off of me. "It does look like a lot of blood for something that grew out of my forehead, though.. I mean.. I don't feel lightheaded or anything? I would have expected at least that much?", I offered, moving my head around a little bit to see if the dizzy spells would come back, but they didn't.
"It's a magical horn. The blood did not so much come from your body as from the manifestation of your horn appearing," Celestia explained. "It's purely because of Spritelight's magic that this happened. She used a very old scroll from before the pony factions joined together. I think it is known as blood magic? It is a long lost dark art. We rarely speak of it."
"Is it the kind of magic Sombra was using when he was in charge of the Crystal Empire, princess?", I wondered, pushing up out of bed and noticing how tall Celestia really was.
I mean, she had looked tall both in the show as well as when I was laying in bed, but standing up.. she still towered over me. I was just five foot, four inches myself. The princess took a foot or two on top of that.
"I didn't realize," I gasped, reaching out with my hand towards her face. "You're as big as the horses on Earth."
Celestia allowed me to touch the side of her muzzle and smiled down at me. "Rhonda said the same thing, but no. Sombra's magic wasn't blood magic. True, it was very dark magic, but if it had been blood magic not even Luna and me would have been able to stop him."
"So we're dealing with magic that you and Luna can't handle by yourself? And what about the Elements of Harmony? Or Twilight's own magic? Or a combination of them all?", I inquired, trying to figure out why something was not done about it already.
"Calm down, dear," Celestia offered with a warm smile, "there's ample time for questions when your transformations are complete. Why don't you two take a bath first and join me for lunch in the great hall?"
I looked back towards Rhonda who was climbing off of the bed as if she had trouble finding her footing. "A bath does sound nice," I mumbled, reaching out a hand to help my girlfriend stabilize herself. "Dizzy?", I asked, but she shook her head at my assumption.
"Tingly. Like my legs have fallen asleep," Rhonda replied, moving to my side and wrapping her arms around my waist to keep her balance.
Celestia's eyes narrowed slightly at the answer, but then turned for the door. "Guard? Bring these girls to the bathroom in the East wing and keep watch over them."
"Erm.. he will be standing outside, right?", Rhonda quipped, and I couldn't suppress a giggle.