//------------------------------//
// Entry Eleven 
// Story: Diary of an Aspiring Tyrant 
// by SugarPesticide 
//------------------------------//

July 1, 1000 ANM

Today I experienced a most atrocious encounter. Upon expressing an interest as to what the Night Guard had been accomplishing over the course of my absence, Sister Dearest led me to a room of recreation, where I discovered a plethora of dark-colored ponies lounging upon the couches in what I assume was supposed to be an endearingly casual manner.

"It's her majesty," one of them noted dully, nursing a bottle of apple cider like a newborn's mother.

There was an awkward moment of silence. Then, in a flurry of motion, the dark ponies snapped to attention, clambering onto their hooves with the urgency I would expect from Blueblood discovering a spider in his bed. Only one failed to do me such courtesy, but as he was preoccupied with keeping a small tiger under control, I could not find the heart to blame him.

"Princess Luna!" exclaimed the largest batpony with a curt salute. "Welcome back. It's my great privilege as Captain of the Night Guard to reintroduce you to your proud guard. There's more to the speech that I can't remember off the top of my head, but rest assured we have all been anticipating your return since our induction."

"I can see that." My eyes flitted over to the pool table, which had been unfortunate enough to be transformed into a pincushion for three dozen swords. "You have certainly done ... something ... with your rank. What is your name, Captain?"

"Midnight Ravenwing," he said arrogantly, as if he should be proud to boast such an unwieldy name. "And I speak for all of us when I say that all of us have admired you since our acceptance into your wonderful guard."

"Really." I raised an eyebrow. "You admired me even though I played foalish host to a Nightmare that wanted nothing more than to destroy everything you stood for?"

Another awkward silence reigned. Somepony coughed.

"Well." Midnight Ravenwing coughed uncertainly. "You know what I mean. We appreciate the subtle beauty of the night, and have dutifully incorporated it into our patrols. Your appearance here is an incredible reminder of the way we slink from shadow to shadow, watching over hapless citizens with the dark grace of ... shadows, I guess."

Let me pause to make something perfectly clear. In the years before the Nightmare, there was a kind of friendly competition between the Royal and Night Guards. It was a competition of presence, of pomp and circumstance, in which generals could holler at the most admirable volume without damaging their throats beyond repair. It was a glorious time of undoubted might, and our guards were an admirable reflection of that proud tradition. To be anything less was an insult to everypony in the vicinity, and reprimands would be in immediate order.

"You mean to tell me," I said as evenly as I could manage, "that my Night Guard has become a troupe of shadows?"

"Yes!" He breathed a sigh of relief. "Perfect words from our perfect princess. Thanks, your majesty."

"But mere shadows are insubstantial, Captain!" I did not care that my Royal Canterlot Voice was dislodging things from their rightful places, so incensed was I. "Art without meaning is meaningless! Did it never occur to any of you that skulking about in the dark only provides a prime example for criminals to follow? I thought you took pride in your positions! Starting tomorrow, you will be as bold as the Royal Guard in your patrols. Pace about the city stoically and proudly; refrain from sneaking like shameful pests! Do I make myself clear?"

Their feeble cries of "Sir, yes sir!" were mostly lost in the dying echoes of my voice, but I was convinced that the point had been made sufficiently. Why else would they be prostrating themselves in fear love?

"Very good," I huffed, smoothing my mane back into place. "Take care not to do otherwise, lest I be forced to use Protocol Five against you."

The ponies glanced at each other. "I've never heard of Protocol Five," one of them said nervously.

"And you don't want to." I put on a completely innocent smile. "Now, Captain Midnight Ravenwing, will you introduce your associates to me?"

My memory of their names is, of course, crystal clear, yet for my own sake I could not tell which was which if I tried my hardest. It seems that there is a law or something along those lines requiring that only dark gray unicorns and batponies register for the Night Guard. Whatever the situation is, all of these ponies looked exactly the same as their brethren. I cannot tell when such practices began to be, but I must take the situation up with Sister Dearest when I next encounter her.

The only two besides the good captain who I distinctly remember are called Sergeant Daffodil and Private Panthera Awesome. The former held claim to a distinctive flowery cutie mark which he seemed rather embarrassed about; the latter was in charge of the miniature tiger, which he was still in the process of taming. I must also ask Sister Dearest when we have decided to allow tigers of any size into the palace. I have a nasty allergy to lions, and I believe that tigers may elicit the same reaction. I said so to the tamer, and he simply nodded without taking his eyes off of the growling beast.

I know this does not promote confidence in my Night Guard, but I do not think that I can entrust them with the planning of my lunar tyranny. They do mean well, in their odd bumbling way, yet I cannot risk Sister Dearest discovering my intentions. Therefore it must be kept secret between myself and Blueblood. And Cadence, I suppose, that spoiled child. I really must determine how I can prevent her from disrupting my takeover of Canterlot.