"Spike!" Purity screamed. He flew her head around the massive library, the little baby dragon nowhere in sight. "Oh, for Pete's sake, I should have known." He's with Sweetie Belle at Snails' place, isn't he? If that scaly thing keeps on bugging her, then I'm going to kill him. He propped himself upon Twilight, lying down out cold.
Purity eyed a big bucket at the corner of the library. He magically lifted it over behind him and trotted to the kitchen. Purity sped back over, holding the bucket a few feet above Twilight's head.
"Who's soaking wet and clueless?" Purity remarked, wiggling his sides. He smashed the bucket atop Twilight's head. The purple unicorn spun around, coughing and shivering. She hurled the bucket off of her head and stared at Purity, her soaking mane dropping over her face.
"That was... hardly... necessary..." Twilight muttered, rolling her eyes as a big pillow magically sailed over. Twilight charged it with her purple aura and ran it all over her head. Purity stared back, his eyes burning invisible holes into Twilight's head.
"Giving me an extra chromosome was 'hardly necessary'!" Purity hollered, and he walked in a circle around the purple unicorn. "Look at me!" He wiggled his hooves in the air like tentacles. He leaned over and smacked his flank. Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it back again. "See, see!" Purity shoved a hoof into Twilight's face, and he curled his head back. "I look so rough and ragged, not to mention that I smell simply scandalous as well."
The stallion whipped back his mane and swooned, the melodrama so thick that Twilight could cut it with a knife. "You're Rarity on the inside, that's for sure," Twilight groused under her breath. She focused at the tips of Purity's hooves, and her eyes grew wide. "Wow, just look at the expansion of the tendons, as well as the new muscle mass fitting in so well."
She ran her right hoof along Purity's skin. The stallion shivered. "I must be restored to my old self this instant."
"And you've now achieved hormonal balance by becoming so much taller and wider," Twilight went on, rubbing up Purity's sides. The stallion could barely think, feeling such a weird combination of pleasure and disgust. "All of these new blood vessels and new systems becoming--"
"Twilight!" Purity called out, and he hopped back a few feet. Twilight kept on rubbing the thin air for a second. "Tell me how to fix this!" Twilight leaned back a few inches, a cold flash going across her face.
"Well..." The purple unicorn shifted about in place a little.
"Darling, you are not going to tell me that this spell is irreversible." Purity leaned over, his horn lining up just close enough to Twilight's temple that she got the message.
"Oh, that's not the problem, silly," Twilight nervously squeaked. She wiggled out of Purity's line-of-sight, resting herself against the desk. "Not a problem at all." Purity calmly walked over and sat on a pile of books. Twilight could barely stand to look at him, his eyes narrowed into little slits. "The spell naturally self-reverts in due time."
Purity breathed a sigh of relief, slumping his body upon the desk. Twilight coughed, and she moved backwards to the bookcase behind them. She clicked her front hooves together. "
There's just a teensy, little, uh, complication..."
"Complication!" Purity stepped closer.
Twilight, backed up against the bookcase, seemed to shrink several inches. "I, uh," she muttered, putting her hooves in front of her face, "I just don't know when that due time will be." Purity let out a low moan. Twilight looked up, magically lifting down a thick volume with a full moon printed upon it. She flipped through a bunch of pages, her sides trembling in fear.
"Twilight I..." Purity said, stepping over until he was inches from Twilight's face. He grunted as Twilight closed her eyes tightly, bracing for it. "I can't take it, Twilight!" Purity put his hooves around Twilight, and he sobbed into her shoulder. "I feel so wrong. I feel so dirty."
The purple unicorn froze for an awkward ten seconds. She curled her head around, and she squeezed Purity back. She felt two or three little tears going down her back. She shifted over a little, and she looked out again at the huge book.
"I'll be stuck like this forever," Purity moaned.
"One week!" Twilight squeaked. She hopped out of Purity's embrace, magically twirling the book around her head. "just one week!" She kicked her hooves in the air, bumping her sides up. She made a light coo.
Purity swung his hooves against Twilight's face. If there's anything that I couldn't stand at this second, it would be more of your stupid dancing! She narrowed her brow, speaking slowly and deliberately. "You're telling me... that I have to spend a whole week like this..." Twilight scrunched her face a little bit forward, and she nodded.
Purity released her. He curled up his head, and he walked over to the door. Twilight just crumpled on the floor and looked on, totally confused. Purity magically lifted up a scroll from the huge box besides the door. She reached out and a quill sped over to her.
"Who are you writing to?" Twilight asked, rubbing her mane for a moment.
"I’m sending a message to Princess Celestia, of course," he replied, not even looking up from the scroll, "I'll put an immediate end to this nonsense."
"NO!" Twilight shrieked. She leaped through the air, landing with a soft thud a few feet before Purity. She wiggled her hooves around and let out a little grunt. The stallion stared back at her, and he returned to his writing just a second later. "Please, Rarity." She stood back up and put a tender hoof on his side. She opened her eyes up wide and curled her nose down.
"My name is 'Purity' now," he said, and he sighed, "That's what you've made me into." Twilight rubbed his shoulder. He blinked again and again, finally putting the scroll down after a little while. "Twilight, please tell me why I can't tell the princess."
"It's my, my own contest," she replied, walking over to a stack of magazines. She magically popped the stack in two, and she pulled out a thick poster. "You know what the Fashion Expo means to you, Rar-- I mean-- Purity?" She trotted back over to Purity, making a duckface. She sniffed.
Purity eyed the glossy poster. "This says ‘Best Magical Collaboration Awards by the Equestrian National Research Society, ENRS,’" he read aloud. Well, that's just pretty, just charming. I don't care. Change me back, now, you little purple dipstick.
"It's pronounced 'en-reh-iss', for your information," Twilight remarked, putting on the same tone of voice that Rarity would use with Sweetie Belle. She pulled the poster down and shifted in place. She looked back at Purity, eyed the stallion's determined expression, and she started to beg. "Please, please, please--" She knelt down and started kissing his hooves. "Don't tell the princess. Don't tell the princess. Don't tell the princess. Don't tell the princess."
Her kisses moved up along to Purity's shoulder. The stallion pulled off of her, leaving Twilight curled down on the ground. He glanced wistfully at the scroll for a second, letting out a deep breath. He dropped it back into the box.
"May I make a guess?" Purity began, trotting around in a big circle through the library, "The contest is a 'collaboration', and so you're teaming up with somepony special. It’s somepony that you’ve really wanted to work with your entire life?"
Twilight softly nodded, staring sheepishly up at the ceiling.
"May I guess again, darling?” Purity went on, still circling, “You really wanted to pull out all the stops for him or her with a brilliant new spell, and so you've done things that you... shouldn't?"
Purity’s right eye bulged, staring at Twilight. He saw another nod.
He continued, "You’ve been procuring supplies that you're not supposed to have? You’ve been using equipment that you're not supposed to use? You’ve been throwing caution out the window?”
"Yep, yep," Twilight whispered, and she gulped.
Purity glanced over at the big silver image of the moon atop Twilight's almanac. "So, darling, you're expecting me to just sit tight until the moon changes and go through a one week nightmare," he said, slumping into a couch, "You prefer that to having me bring in the princess and blow your chance at the contest. Not to mention, I would be throwing you in scalding hot water as well." His eyes danced across the arrays of books, deep in reflection.
Twilight jumped up on the couch besides him, throwing up her hooves in surprise. "I can't believe you know all this, just from... from..."
"Oh, goodness, darling," Purity replied, and he hugged Twilight, "We're like sisters, right?" Or a brother and sister, now, with what you've done to me. He gazed along Twilight’s flowing purple mane. We could have been something more than friends. I suppose, oddly enough, being in this body with these male components might open up… something else?
"Speaking of being like sisters, and not anything else," she said, nervously wiggling back in the couch, "I'm really sorry about last night. Not just what the spell did to you, of course I'm very sorry for that. But the things I said. What I tried to do." She locked eyes with him. "I value our friendship a lot, and I'd hate to destroy it like that."
I guess that really was the magical pheromones talking. You're not really into me in... that way. That’s water under the bridge," he said, playfully smacking her shoulder with her hoof. He then stood back up. He felt oddly sad, as if he had a piece of his heart blackened. Twilight is a great friend, right? A friend. "I suppose, darling, I'll take my new body and I'll..." He smiled, and Twilight looked so happy that she could cry a river. "I'll manage." A friend.
They hugged once more. Purity rattled through some pleasentries, explaining about pretending to be a cousin. He couldn't shake the feeling that he just needed out of there. The library felt more like a prison than a home, at that moment. Purity stepped out the door, and he rested his shoulder against the wall. He sighed.
Twilight... It's not that I ever felt that big spark. I never did. I never wanted to get that far, I guess. But I always thought that maybe, possibly, there could be something. I did feel something. I always had a hope in the back of my mind. Now, at this moment, when I'm standing there ready to give you what only a stallion could as a stallion... A tiny white pegasus ran out across the street, snapping him out of his daydreaming. Well, that was the moment. Nothing happened. I can accept that. He headed over to the boutique.
It wasn't a spark. It was nothing more than a little blue streak going across my windows. And now, I've wiped it away, totally clean. Or have I? He watched the ponies darting about around him, all of them treating him like a mere piece of the scenery. I could see it in her eyes. She's just not like that. I should be honest with myself as well. Mere fantasy is just that. Oh, well.
He pressed his hoof against the boutique's front door. "Twilight, my friend, you'll find a nice stallion for you someday," he whispered. He gazed at his reflection in the bright glass, the irony so thick that he could choke on it.
He opened the door, and he looked out at a bluish-purple blob behind a huge display case. Purity stepped into the showroom floor, and he walked silently over. Purity's eyes locked on the backside of the stallion as he wiggled around the ground, poking underneath a short table. Purity's eyes followed the stallion's short, thick tail as it wiggled from side to side, black hair rubbing up against the table-leg.
"May I help you?" Purity asked.
The stallion shivered in surprise. His head shot up into the table with a loud clang. He then shifted down, letting out a pained moan. Purity leaned down a little bit, and he asked again. The stallion propped out his hooves, sliding straight down from underneath the table. Their eyes met. Then, something odd happened.