DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of his abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit is particularly dangerous. Prolonged usage may cause you to switch personalities, fade in color, become evil and/or develop an addiction to chocolate rain. All necessary precautions you should take for your own safety are in this manual. Thus, we will not entertain any refunds, complaints or charges due to injury from your purchased unit.
Name: He responds to Discord, Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, or Great Ruler of Everything that Breathes.
Age: So old this guide cannot provide the exact number.
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Canterlot
Height: If you mean width, then well, he has been drinking a lot of chocolate rain...
Length: Very long. Take that however you will.
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) gem of disharmony
One (1) gem of chaos
Three (3) cool hipster shades
One (1) FAKE gem of disharmony
One (1) FAKE gem of chaos
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS is capable of doing the following:
Gangster: In need of some extra cash? Your unit will be glad to collect some protection money for you! Spreading misery is his forte, after all. However, you must make sure to give him some of the dough.
Blackmailer: When equipped with the real gems, your unit will be able to do some pretty crazy stuff you can hold other people at fault for! It's the perfect plan- want to get rid of your bitchy sister-in-law, or prove that your school is terrible enough to shut down and get a few days off? Send DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS to work and he'll have you first-class blackmailing material in a matter of minutes! Just... don't let him go crazy.
Magician: He's not as good as our TRIXIE unit in terms of keeping the crowd uninjured, but he'll be able to attract tons of people with his chaotic tricks! You'll have money flowing to your pockets in no time! You might want to buy insurance, though.
Removal of your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit from Packaging
Our DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit is the most unstable and sadistic unit of all, so you must take extra precaution unpacking him. To avoid terrible injuries, we have compiled a list of more acceptable ways to wake up your unit.
1. Throw any of the gems, fake or real, out of the window while exclaiming 'OH NO! THE GEMS!'. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit will immediately launch out of his box and grab the gems. He will then proceed to absorb them, so if you want to give him magic abilities, you must use the real gems when unpacking him using this method. Giving him the fake gems will probably tick him off. You should destroy the real gems if you want to leave him unable to perform magic.
2. Yell out 'THE MANE SIX ARE AWESOME' while standing away as far as possible. Your unit will punch its way out of the packaging and go on a wild manhunt for you. If you give him any of the hipster shades, he will forgive you.
3. Play the My Little Pony theme song as loudly as possible. This works the same way as the previous method. Again, the hipster shades will prevent him from destroying you iPod.
4. Create havoc close to the package where the DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit is located. He will crawl out slowly and gladly join in. This is the most recommended way, since your unit will get a good first impression of you.
5. Just open the box and hope that he's in a good mood.
After unpacking your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit, you can reprogram him into any of the following modes:
DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS comes in Sadistic and Playful mode by default. Regardless of whether he can or cannot perform magic, he can and will cause chaos. He loves seeing miserable beings, ponies or humans alike, and takes a liking to toying with the Laws of Physics, Thermodynamics and completely messing up everything science believes in. If he likes you, he may let you rule alongside him. However, if you ever have ideas on conquering the world, we will dispatch a highly-trained team to deactivate your unit.
Useless mode is only activated by convincing, after weeks of work, that chaos and disharmony is useless and people are best left united. This will leave him in a depressed state, dampening everyone's day. If you want him to go back to default mode, shut him in with a Sad FLUTTERSHY unit, helping him rekindle with his love for misery. This is also the only way to get him into Reformed mode. While in Useless mode, leave him with an Encouraging TWILIGHT SPARKLE to enable him to go into Reformed mode. If you want to go back to default mode through Reformed mode, you must send him to our headquarters so we can re-program him.
BE-Era- meaning 'Before Equestria-Era'- is just as bubbly, happy and trustworthy as his Reformed mode. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit was programmed with a past self who was the Spirit of Peace, Happiness and Trust. To activate, you must make him go under hypnosis. Contact your local hypnotician for help on how to hypnotize someone into believing he is in the past. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit has a similar brain to that of a human's, so it should not be too complex.
Snapped mode is locked away, and for a good reason. You can only activate this mode by leaving him with a Insane PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit. The two units will probably work together to abduct ponies and create cupcakes out of their flesh. The difference between the default DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit and a Snapped DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS is that the Snapped unit is not below killing to create chaos. If you want to re-program him... good luck. We're not helping you out of a mess you made.
Relationships with Other Units
TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Hate. Pure hate. There are no other words for it.
PRINCESS CELESTIA: He hates her as well, crushing his uprising to evil. He likes to taunt her on the fact that her sister PRINCESS LUNA had followed in his footsteps later on. She was also the one who made him bored of peace and made him realize that messing up a few things was 'fun'. However, DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS took it too far.
PRINCESS LUNA: He hates her as well, but can get along better with her. She DOES understand why he turned to evil, after all. She will try to reform him, along with the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, and may succeed, though using the above method is more efficient.
PINKAMENA DIANE PIE: He thinks that the PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit is easy to manipulate and has the most potential for discord. They'd get along well... but your PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit may wake up in Cannibal mode one day.
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit can clean himself perfectly fine, thank you very much.
Being a powerful being, he doesn't sleep. He likes closing his eyes and resting though. But he is NOT sleeping, so no putting-ant-in-bed tricks will work on him.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. My DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit isn't coming out of the box!
A. This only happens when using Method 5 in unpacking. He could be in a foul mood. Leave him be, he will come out sooner or later. Do not provoke him, unless you want to be facing the brunt of his chaotic powers.
Q. My unit just adopted a pet rock and tried to get it to do a barrel roll!
A. Your unit is probably in the early stages of Snapped mode. Contact tech support immediately.
Problem: Instead of a large dragon, you got a SPIKE-sized pink dragon cub with the same body shape as a DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit. He can't speak and sticks to PRINCESS CELESTIA units.
Solution: Whoops! We sent you a BABY DISCORD unit. This unit thinks of Princess Celestia as his elder sister and clings onto her. He also had random spurts of uncontrolled magic. We can switch him for your ordered unit if you contact us.
Problem: Your unit is breaking into manic laughter frequently and frankly, it's scaring you.
Solution: Another sign of your unit going into Snapped mode. Contact us. Now.
With enough care, love, and chaos, your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit will be your perfect trouble-making buddy! We wish you luck!