Starswirl Academy - Original Rainbow Dash Route

by wolvenfire86

14 - I need an Egghead!

I need an Egghead!

Description: Rainbow Dash begs you for much needed help.

“When this happens, you must remember to carry over. A lot of people make the error of leaving the rounding up and being down with it…” I yawned as the teacher prattled on about trigonometry. I knew the subject matter by heart now. At this point listening to him talk about it was politeness.


“…and there are many places you can use this equation, especially with your personal finances.”

"…zzzz!” My peers giggled. The teacher’s face flushed.

Rainbow had turned her book into a pillow and basked in the sun as it poured onto her.

Rainbow’s snoring went away after the teacher stopped lecturing, making me wonder if she was actually asleep or if she was intentionally trying to annoy the professor.

The frustrated professor walked over to her desk and hovered over her for a few seconds.

“A-hem!” He said. He got no response except for a twitching leg. He then slammed his hand on the desk. That got a reaction.

“Imup-Imup. I’m up!” Rainbow’s head shot up and her back straightened out. Her eyes were groggy, her bangs parted.

“Young lady…it is one thing that you chose to waste your own time so frequently, but it is another matter entirely when you interrupt my classroom with that irritating snoring. Disrespect is disrespect is disrespect!”

“Yeah…well…that’s just…like…your opinion, man.”

The classroom erupted with stifled snickers. I shook my head. I’m still amazed that she could be so lax at her studies and so rude to her teachers.

“See me after class. During your lunch break.”

“Yes ssthir.” She faked a lisped and saluted him. The second his back was turned, she rolled her eyes. He continued lecturing, telling himself the issue had been resolved.

Rainbow waved to me when I looked to, then made several inappropriate gestures towards the teacher’s turned back. I shook my head again. She thought my reaction was funny. I started taking notes, as a way to ignore her. And for a few minutes I succeeded.

But of course, RD wouldn’t allow that. A few minutes later, a paper football plopped on my desk. I took a few moments to get the courage to open it.

The note said “Grab me a sandwich. I’ll meet you in the library.”

No please or promise to pay me back I noticed. I also noticed her handwriting was surprisingly gorgeous, especially for a note passed in class.

I glanced at her again, but her head was back on her textbook, drifting off to dreamland.

---time passes---

The period bell rang and, instinctively, Rainbow Dash ran for the door.

“Don’t go anywhere!” The teacher barked! Rainbow Dash froze as she touched the doorknob. “Everyone else can go. Rainbow Dash, come here!” She groaned and walked back to her desk.

She slapped my hand as we passed each other. Money for her sandwich appeared in my palm.

By now, I had developed a habit of coming to the library during my lunch break to catch up on homework and studying.

My newest class had a lot of interesting concepts and ideas, but that meant a lot more work. And with the semester picking up speed, my assignments were piling up quickly.

Twilight, who spent most of her free time in the library, softly whistled a familiar tune as her fingers tapped wildly on the computer’s keyboard.

“Hi Twi-”

“Shhh…one minute.” She went back to typing.

One minute usually meant half an hour. I pulled out my lunch and sat down at the table behind her, and watched her busily drum away at...whatever she was working on.

---time passes---

“Ta-da! That was easy!” Twilight clicked a button and the old printer in the corner of the library chugged. She whistled as the clunky machine spat out her large assignment. “I think this is a good one.

“You seem proud of yourself.”

“I got a few good tests back today. Aaand they’re going to announce who won Miss Celestia’s Semi-Annual Academic Award of Excellence in a few weeks. I have a hunch that Miss Celestia will take noticed of this little masterpiece of an essay.” She tapped the thick essay a few times and giggled. Her eyes lit up. “It’ll be causal. But predictable. Professor Whooves will be so impressed by my paper that he’ll run into the Headmistresses office to show her my work. And Miss Celestia will call me into her office to congratulate me herself! It’ll be an extra bonus to the Dean’s List award that I know I will already be getting. And I can put both on my college applications!”

“What’s your essay topic?”

“It’s an analysis of Hamlet and everything Shakespeare did incorrectly. Only ninety-six pages too.”

“…uhhh.” Before I can point out the obvious flaw in that premise, the library door swung open with a force that caused pages to flip on the nearby open books.

“HEY!” Rainbow ran up to me before Twilight could bark out the ‘Be Quiet’ rule. Rainbow slammed both hands on our table, another loud noise. “You two are eggheads right?”


“Excuse me?”

“I need an egghead. And fast! This is a red alert emergency.”

“Whoa, whoa, Dashie. Calm down. What is wrong?” I said soothingly.

“Look!" Rainbow reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a paper ball. She tried to smooth it out by dragging it on the edge of the table before showing it to us.

It takes me a minute to recognize that it’s the most recent math test we took.

“That’s how you take care of your tests?!” Twilight harped.

“My grades fell. Again!” Rainbow whined.

“How badly?” I asked

“Look.” She shoved the report card in my face and…I see…her grades.

Ooooh boy.

“Let me see.” Twilight moved close, but I pulled the paper away so she couldn't see the grade.

“Trust me, it’s better if you don’t.”

“The professor said if I don’t get my grades up, he’ll call the academy!”

“What academy?”

“And I’ll get suspended from the track team too! I’m doomed! Doomed! If I don’t get the grades up, I’ll never get out of this lame one-horse town!” Rainbow, for the first time since we met, was panicking.

“Well," Twilight talked like an upset mother, "I’d like to tell you that you should have studied more, but–”

“You’re right.”

"Huh?” Twilight and I both said, bewildered.

“You’re right. My grades are lousy. I didn’t try hard enough…and…I need to do better...”

Twilight and I both say nothing, both of us surprised at her modesty.

For a moment. Then Rainbow said, “Or I’ll be kicked off the track team! I can’t let my fans down! And I can’t have that lumberjack AJ take my fan base away from me either! The freshman will be wondering where their hero went and they’ll all flock to Applejack instead of me! Can you imagine what she’ll do to those impressionable young twerps!? She’ll recommend apple flavored steroids or hay throwing or some other weird thing they do down south!”

“…yyyeah. Sounds terrible.” Twilight rubbed the brim of her nose.

“So I need an egghead. You guys are the only ones I know.”

“Usually, if you want someone to help you, you don’t insult them when you ask for help.”

“Did I insult you Twilight?”

“Well, ’Egghead’ isn’t exactly a compliment.”

“…okay, so you’re out. Newbie, help!”

“I don’t know Dashie." I said "I’m not a miracle worker.”

"I don’t need a miracle. I just need a push to get my math grade above a C.”

“It’s below a C?!" Twilight shrieked. "How could you…a C is…that is…I can’t believe you’d ever…when I was in kindergarten, I had better grades than that.”

“Kindergarten was like years ago. I need help now.” Rainbow Dash said. The puppy dog eyes turned on. “So…how about it? ___? I’m at the end of my rope here. Please? Pleasepleasepleasepleeeeeease!!?”

“Uh…” I glanced at Twilight. She shakes her head, warning me not to jump on a sinking ship.

“If I don’t stay on the team, I won’t be allowed to compete in the inter-country race and I won’t get into the academy! And I’ll never get my picture on a cereal box!”

“What academy?! What are you talking about?”

“Don't worry about it. If you do this, I’d owe you! Anything you’d ever need, I’d give it. Anything!” Dash looked so worried that was unbearable. Those big, round dog eyes and my own sympathy defeated my better judgment.

“Um…I guess I could help you study after class.”

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash jumped up high and cheered. Then she grabbed my neck and squeezed. The awkwardness of her hug was as suffocating as my sudden inability to breath. "Thanks newbie. You’re cool in my book. I don’t care what everyone else says.”

“You're wel…what?”

“We should start right away. Is after school today okay? I’ll find you after school!”

“But I have to…” She dashed off before I could tell her that I had planned to study with Twilight that afternoon.

When Dashie was gone, Twilight gave me a cross look.

“Well...”Twilight crossed her arms. “...I guess you’ve got plans this afternoon.”

“Um…Dash kind of needs help. I mean, we get good grades already. She needs help way more than we do.”

“Makes sense.” Twilight puts her books away and leaves, pointing her nose in the air as she does.

“Now what did I do wrong!?”


“Nothing. Lunch is over.”