The Doom Patrol

by Magenta Cat


Anatomy lesson

-Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie and Pinkamena's room, 2:30 A.M.

Everybody was inside Pink's room, leaving barely enough space to move and still avoid Scootaloo's electrocuting touch. Pinkamena made her way to the wardrobe and, opening it, she called for everyone's attention. "As we are friends now, I will share my secrets with you. This is one of them." She pressed a hidden button inside the wardrobe making an inner door open revealing a hole in the floor. "Now will you please jump into the entrance quick, there are a lot of tests I want to run and I've gotten rather excited."

"Pinkamena, where douse this lead to?" Twilight was unconvinced to enter a hole inside a wardrobe in her friend's room. In fact, she wasn't sure about a lot of things recently, starting with how surreal things were right now.

"To my secret lab of course." Pinkamena replied. "Don't you know anything about science? Every mad scientist must have a secret lab with an impractical entrance." She said it as she was explaining why ponies must breath.

"It is safe?" Twilight didn't want to distrust her friend but the last rational parts of her brain forced her to ask.

"It is, you have my word of honor." Where Pinkie would have sang a song about trust and friendship, Pinkamena just replied with all the seriousness that the pink party pony lacked, but her voice sounded as sure and honest as Pinkie was.

"Well I trust you, so I will go." Twilight stepped into the wardrobe and jumped through the entrance, gravity pulling her out of sight from her friends. Applejack approached the entrance, looking at it with curiosity and fear.

"Are ya sure this is safe?" Asked Applejack nervously.

"Don't worry my nervous farmer friend." Pinkamena replied, putting a hoof around Applejack. "I designed it by myself and good aunt Pinkie constructed it all by herself."

"Yeah, that-- that's actually the part that worries me." Applejack wasn't sure at all.

"Don't worry big sister. I will go with you." Apple Bloom walked next to the orange pony so Applejack gulped, hugged her sister and silently prayed to Celestia and Luna as they both jumped together into the hole.

Pinkamena looked to the rest of the group. "Now, who' next?" But Rainbow was already jumping into the hole.

"Mare, this is gonna be awesome!" She shouted before disappearing into the darkness.

The next two where Rarity and Sweetie Belle who jumped together too. After that, Spike and Pinkamena had to force Fluttershy to jump. Pinkamena looked at Scootaloo. "Since you can pass through solids, do you think you could go in a straight line down until you reach the basement? It's just twenty meters or so."

Scootaloo's eyes glowed with confidence. Now that the first impression cooled down she was starting to be aware of her new abilities, ready to test them. "Of course, see you there." The pegasus passed through the floor and disappeared. Finally Pinkamena and Spike jumped as well. After a couple of seconds they arrived in a brightly lit cave. Everypony was already there, looking at the different items spread everywhere.

"Wow, what is all this?" Spike couldn't hold in his surprise.

"Welcome to the Pink-Cave, this is where I develop all my pinkventions." The dragon was speechless. "There is the Pinkcopter, and there is the prototype of the Party Canon. You should see when we first tested it. It almost blew both Pinkie and I to Celestia's heaven."

Pinkamena then approached Fluttershy who was staring at a showcase with a set of belt and straps attached to a pair of metallic wings with a hawk like helmet. Over the glass was a sign that read. 'Anti-gravity Nth Metal Wings.' Fluttershy then looked at Pinkamena who asked. "Do you like it? It's a piece of technology that my sister Blinkie found in an ancient tomb near Saddle Arabia. It allows the user to fly and resist extreme temperatures and pressures. The helmet also seems to work as an adaptable radio transmitter-receiver."

"What about this?" Rainbow was pointing at what looked like a full-body armor made out of steel with an S shaped shield in the chest and a red cape on the back.

"That's my Mare of Steel armor, Mark VII if I remember correctly. I use that for exploration trips or when I work with dangerous materials. A friend from, well, from far far away gave me the idea about how to make it. It can fly, is nearly invulnerable and is also equipped with a kinetic hammer." Rainbow Dash was amazed.

"But how is this even possible? I mean, from where does all of this come from?" Twilight was completely shocked now, first a magic stronger than the Elements of Harmony, then her friend's second personality and now THIS.

"It was a gift from Princess Luna." Now everypony was looking a Pinkamena. "What? I helped her with some issues she had and she was happy to give me a better work place than the cake's basement."

"So she's financing you?" Twilight was surprised with that revelation.

"No, it's just the cave. The rest comes from different sources, but explanations can wait. Now let's go to the test lab." She waved at her friends to follow her into a room that was carved in the stone.

Inside, the room was completely white. Different instruments, various monitors and weird looking machines decorated it all over the place. Over a bust of Princess Luna was a raven. Pinkamena stroked the bird's head saying. "Hi Edgar, did you miss me?"

The raven said. "Nevermore."

Pinkamena turned to her friends. "This is Edgar. He crashed into our window a week after we came to Ponyville."

Fluttershy saluted the raven but it just replied. "Nevermore." Fluttershy looked on with amazement.

"You will have to excuse him, that's the only thing he says." Looking at the Cutie Mark Crusaders Pinkamena said. "Now, will you please step inside the analyzing room." She pointed to a door next to a window that showed a black painted room. The three ponies stepped inside and Pinkamena shut the door. Sitting down in front of a computer she started to use the keyboard as she explained. "This is a three-dimensional scanner. It can pick up every detail from almost every kind of object and map it for study or replication. It's very useful for research."

“Where do you get something like that?" Twilight asked. This was now beyond weird.

"Believe it or not, I found this one." Replied Pinkamena. "Pinkie had the idea that there was a caramel mine under our parent's house, so she dug under the backyard for days till we found this. It took me a year to understand how it worked." But the answer only raised further questions. Twilight however decided that with Pinkamena, being essentially Pinkie too, it was better to not ask.

The computer then started to make some noises as inside the room a laser scanned Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. When the scan was complete Pinkamena told the fillies to get outside so she could tell all of them what she had found out. Approaching a printer she started to read the papers.

"First of all, apparently the three of them seem to have the anatomy and metabolism of a twenty year old pony. But with so unique physiognomies is hard to really tell." Everybody in the room went silent not knowing what to say, so Pinkamena continued.
"Scootaloo, according to this, is now made out of pure energy, negative energy to be precise. It's nearly limitless and very unstable, so the principal thing now is to find a containment method to prevent her from shocking everything around." She went to a table full of jars with different chemicals and started to mix some of them. "Can you help me with this?" She asked Rarity as submerging a roll of bandages inside the mix of chemicals. After that, the dark pink pony instructed her unicorn friend to retrieve the bandages form the bowl and then to cover Scootaloo's body with them. When she was almost done, Pinkamena used a pair of goggles to cover the pegasus eyes instead of the fabric.

"Now, these bandages should contain the negative energy." She explained. "At least until we can come up with a better solution. Now you will be capable of touching somepony without shocking her."

Rainbow Dash galloped to Scootaloo's side and without a second tough she hugged her. There was no electroshock, just her stepsister’s warm and now solid body. After a minute or so, she let her go and looked into the glowing eyes behind the goggles. Looking at her pink friend with tears under her eyes Rainbow said "Thank you Pinkamena, thank you."

Pinkamena smiled, but this time it wasn't her mad scientist grim. It was just a happiness fueled smile. Going back to the results again she started to read, now looking to Rarity and Sweetie Belle who was still pushing her hooves against her snout.

"There's no need to do that, just don't scream and everything will be fine." Sweetie Belle lowered her hoofs and tried to relax.

"Pinkamena, what happened to my sister?" Rarity was worried about her foal sister's condition. Pinkamena showed her an image that looked like Sweetie Belle's insides on the computer's screen and started to explain.

"First of all, I'm sorry to tell you this but Sweetie Bell is now a cybernetic organism without any trace of biological components in her." Sweetie Belle wasn't able to understand but Rarity understood perfectly. "But." Pinkamena tried to console them "Every component in her now works in the exact same way has a pony. For example: inside her head is a motherboard wired to her entire body, just like an equine brain. There's also good news, her senses and strength are now increased. Here try to lift that." She pointed to a set of weights, particularly to the 60 Kg. one.

"But..." Sweetie tried to say.

"No buts, just do it." Pinkamena pointed to the weight again. Sweetie Belle went to the weight and took it with her mouth. To her surprise it was light as a feather, then she tried with a 100 Kg. one, and it was as easy as lifting a spoon. Everybody in the room was just shocked with the obvious exception of Pinkamena who shouted. "A-Ha I knew it, now she is capable of lifting almost a ton without major problems. Now let's test something else." She turned the lights off making the room to go pitch black and asked. "Can you see us?"

"Yes, but you look funny, like all green and stuff." Sweetie Belle replied. Pinkamena turned the light's on again and explained.

"Her eyes are now sensitive to the non-visible spectrum, like in this case the infra-red light and--"

"Do you guys hear that?" Sweetie belle interrupted her. "It sounds like a whistle noise." But nopony seemed to hear it.

"That should be the bats, they live in the darker part of the cave and use ultra-sound to see in the dark, that corroborates my diagnosis of your increased senses. You should be capable of controlling them at will."

Rarity started to twitch a little before asking. "How does she? Hum. How does she..." But Sweetie Belle was faster.

"How do I work?"

Pinkamena was now back to full mad scientist mode and started. "You, my little mechanical friend, are a miracle of technology." That commentary picked her up. "Look here at the screen." She pointed to the chest of the image. "You see there?" Sweetie saw a metallic chamber with a window that was glowing green.

"That's my heart now?" Sweetie was getting curious.

"That, my metallic foal, is a green kryptonite powered reactor. It generates the energy necessary to keep you functional. Kryptonite it's a very rare mineral, it only seems to be inside meteorites."

Now Rarity was curious. A new kind of gem was something that attracted her attention, so she asked "and what is this kryptonite?"

Hearing that Pinkamena grimed as she answered "Its radiation is very versatile, you see, there are plenty of different colors of kryptonite, each one with a different effect. In your sister's case, green is highly reactive but harmful for most of species" Rarity showed a worried face. "But her reactor is completely safe." Pinkamena calmed her and continued "There is yellow kryptonite that would cause a pony to lose his or her special talent for five minutes, blue kryptonite that is lethal to changelings, and red kryptonite that reacts to and affects magic and alchemy.

"And what about her voice? Will she make that sound thing every time she screams?" Rarity frowned again.

"Well." Pinkamena explained. "It all depends of her ability to concentrate, as long as she can moderate her voice she will be fine."

"And what is she made of anyway?" Spike asked.

Pinkamena showed a graphic on the screen. "There are a large amount of metals in her structure, if it wasn't Discord who we are talking about I would be admiring him. Her exterior 'skin' for example, is made out of promethium, a practically indestructible alloy. It was supposed to be impossible to create it due to the star like heat required but apparently Discord's magic was capable of producing it." Approaching her computer again "Now for Apple Bloom, there are some interesting results."

She used a remote control to turn on a larger screen showing what looked like a radiography and zooming in on the head area as she started to explain. "First of all, Apple Bloom's brain is more like a pony than a changeling, but on the other hoof." She now changed the image to a cross-section of Apple Bloom's skin. "Her skin is now thicker with a higher concentration of calcium making it much stronger, like a changeling’s scales." Then she went back to the full body image now showing the back in detail. "Her wings seem to be perfectly functional and her back-shield is made out of bone instead of hardened skin. That means it is even stronger than a changeling’s one." Then she showed a DNA image with a lot of information at its side. "Her DNA is a hybrid of pony and changeling, neither side dominating, but her blood is still red and hot just like a pony." She continued. "Also, she will need to consume meat in order to get the necessary nutrients for her body and also her appetite will be bigger than bef--"

"Are ya sure?" But Applejack interrupted. "Ah mean, mah sister will eat meat now?" She was worried about her sister turning into a cold blooded predator.

"No need to worry." Pinkamena assured. "Her brain is developed enough to overcome the predatory instinct, but in order to keep healthy, she will have to eat meat in regular amounts."

"But--"

"No Applejack." Now it was Fluttershy who interrupted. "Listen, when I take care of carnivorous animals they get sick if I don't give them fresh fish or other meat. If your sister has to eat it now then that will have to be okay with you." She finished without even raising her tone, but the word were a clear indication that she was in caretaker mode, or in other words, you better do a she says.

"But I don't want to eat meat, its gross" Apple Bloom responded, but Pinkamena approached a jar on a corner of a table. She opened it and pulled out a stick of something brown.

"This is a dry meat stick, Gummy and Edgar loves them, why don't you give it a try?" offered Pinkamena.

Apple Bloom looked at her sister. Applejack doubted for a moment before nodding. The changeling filly approached the stick, as she smelled it she started to fell hungry. She teased it with the tip of her tongue and found out that it was actually very good Without wasting any more time she ate the stick with a smile on her face, it was the greatest thing she ever tasted in her life. "Oh my Celestia, this is greatest thing I ever tasted in my life. Can I have more?"

"Of course sweetheart, take the jar. After all, you will need to eat more now that your metabolisms increased." But Applejack was still concerned as she watched her sister attacking the jar of meat. "Also, her adapting cells seem to be fully functional, which means that she should be able to change her form at will."

Twilight now forgot her last conclusion and dared to ask. "How do you know so much about changelings? The books I read didn't have that kind of information?"

"It's simple. I studied them at first hoof." Answered Pinkamena in a casual tone.

"Come again?" Was the only thing that Twilight managed to say but everybody in the room seemed about to say the same.

"I made a deal with their queen. You see? Simple,"

Twilight was now speechless, but Spike managed to say "Will you please tell us what kind of deal?"

"Sure. It all started some months ago when the Princess discovered that the changelings were starving to death. She ran the voice around the scientific community, searching for a solution. I think she felt sorry for them. Pinkie and I developed a nutritive serum that would replace the need to vampire others emotions but only for short periods. Remember that time when Pinkie went to Canterlot 'for party supplies'? That's when Princess Celestia took us to their hive castle to arrange a deal. We would explain how to reproduce the serum and she would sign a non-aggression treaty.”

“She agreed and, in an act of good will, she let me study her changelings. She can be actually nice when not trying to take over the world." Pinkamena ended her story.

"Are you’re saying that there’s a peace treaty with Queen Chrysalis without anypony else knowing about it?" Spike was the first to snap from the shock.

"Well, Princess Celestia is waiting for a good moment to make it public. But Shining Armor and Cadence know about it too since part of treaty included the Crystal empire after all. And I asked them to keep the secret because at that time I was still afraid of how others ponies would react to my uniqueness."

Inside Twilight’s head was a storm of confusion. The last strands of thinking came to the conclusion that her friends were having the same problem. After a moment she closed her eyes, took deep breaths and decided to focus on the more recent events and leave the matter for another moment.

"Pinkamena, do you known why the Elements didn't work?" She eventually asked.

Pinkamena cheered at the opportunity to expose her theories. "Well, for Scootaloo, nobody has been able to tell how negative energy really works. I can only presume that its disruptive nature affected the Elements. With Apple Bloom, since changelings are creatures with a massive amount of magic, it would be natural to think that her adaptive cells worked out a way to overcome the spell. And for Sweetie Belle, maybe the promethium is invulnerable to magic too, or maybe the k-radiation. But truth be told, I'm not sure for any of them." She went outside of the lab and into the cave to stand in front of a full body mirror.

Her friends followed her as she spoke to her reflection. "What about you? Do you have any theories?... really?... Now that's interesting. Go and tell them, after all it's your theory." With that, she turned around as her mane puffed again and her colors became brighter, when she opened her eyes they were blue again.

"Hi everypony!" Greeted the pink party pony who was back to her cheerful personality. "Did you miss me? Do you like Pinkamena? Was she helpful?" She asked as approaching her friends.

"She was very helpful, Pinky, but she said that you may know what's up with the fillies. Do you?" Rainbow Dash asked as she saluted her friend.

"Well, maybe it's because the Elements only change what's bad, and there is nothing bad about them."

"PINKIE!" Applejack shouted at her. "Mah sister is a changeling, Scootaloo shocks everything within reach and Sweetie Belle is a robot. How can you say that there is nothing wrong with them?" She was surprised by the pink mare’s words.

"But none of them are trying to harm anypony, like Discord did. And the changes aren't making them evil like in Nightmare Moon's case." That got everybody in the room to think about it, except for Applejack who was now losing her temper.

"Mah sister is eating meat!"

"So? A lot of creatures eat meat, and for that they aren't evil. Just ask Fluttershy how many animals eat meat." Fluttershy nodded her confirmation.

“That actually makes sense.” Twilight started to say. “I mean think about it, Scootaloo's energy can be contained, Sweetie Belle can moderate her voice and Apple Bloom is just another species so nopony is threatening anypony."

Applejack let out a sigh as she calmed down and looked around with tired eyes. "Ok, I'm too tired to discuss it anyways. Let’s go Apple Bloom Granny Smith and Big Mac will have a lot to swallow when we tell them about this." And then she looked for an exit, but didn't find one. "Pinkie, where is the exit?"

"There is a gallery with all of our things” Pinkie pointed to her right. “At the end is a stairway that goes to the Cake's basement."

Rarity looked surprised by the simplicity of that. "Then why did you make us jump into that hole before?" The white unicorn wasn't very amused that she had to make a twenty meters jump when she could have easily used the stairs.

"Pinkamena was having a little fun. Her sense of humor can be a little weird sometimes."

Then the group headed to the exit by a corridor full of display cases with different items inside and Pinkie took her time explaining what all they were looking at as if they were in a museum. "That's the cosmic rod; it can absorb and redirect any kind of energy. And this is the Blue Beetle gun; it's like a flash of light and sound to knock down dangerous beasts. Oh and those are night vision goggles..." They headed to Sugarcube Corner's basement and everypony went to sleep.

It was a weird night after all.