Derpy watched the small, grey unicorn stallion that walked down the road into Ponyville. With an accuracy that would have amazed many ponies who met her on a daily basis, she dropped her bag of letters right in front of him, missing him only by hair’s width. The pony stumbled back a few steps and sat down on the ground.
“Sorry!” Derpy dived after her bag. “There was a gust and the bag slipped off my back. You’re not hurt, are you?”
“No, no. It’s quite alright. You only startled me.” He opened his own saddle-bags and took a handkerchief from them to dab the sweat from his brows. As he busied himself to put it back into his bags, Derpy noticed something in them and her eyes narrowed to slits.
“Well, if you aren’t hurt, I have to continue my round. Ponies are waiting for their mail.” She executed a sharp salute, “Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night!” and took off into Ponyville.
As the cloud of dust settled the unicorn stallion coughed. “I wish Canterlot’s postal service was that motivated.”
***
As Derpy barreled through the door of Sugarcube Corner only seconds later, she was a bit winded, and gasped for air on the counter. Pinkie Pie looked at her with concerned eyes. “Are you alright?” She put a pastry in Derpy’s hooves. “Here, take a muffin on the house.”
“Keep it, no time.” Derpy was still short of breath. “Mrs. Cake?”
Pinkie pointed to the bakery in the back, and Derpy walked past the baffled pony. She stepped through the swinging door, and Pinkie could only see her whispering to the Cakes, then Derpy returned to the shop. She pointed at the muffin. “I’ll come back for that, okay?” Before Pinkie could even answer the pegasus had already left.
Mr. Cake came from the bakery and snatched almost all the baked goods from the display into one big sack. “Pinkie, take this and run down to Sweet Apple Acres. Only talk to Granny Smith and tell her, they have come to town. Do not talk to anyone else until you did so and run as fast as you can.” He pushed the sack into her hoof. “She’ll know what to do. Now run!” Pinkie only nodded and was about to dash, when she remembered the muffin Derpy had left. She snatched it from the counter and hid it in her mane.
Outside Ponyville was in an uproar quite like Winter Wrap Up, except everypony was destroying something. Pinkie had never seen anything like it. As she ran past Barnyard Bargains she saw Filthy Rich and one of his clerks pull a waggon full of stuff away and something had obviously possessed Rarity to pry the paint of the Carousel Boutique.
Despite Mr. Cakes instructions she stopped and watched her friend destroy her shop. “Rarity, are you alright? Why are you doing this? It’s Discord, isn’t it?”
Rarity turned to her and sneered, “Discord? I wish. Chaos and destruction, I could deal with that! No, one of them is in town, and I have no time to chat. I still have to destroy some dresses. You better run along too, au revoir.”
Pinkie was torn to inquire more from her friend, but just as she was about to ask, Rarity stormed into her shop. “Out of my way, Opal. Mommy is too busy to play!”
“There’s something fishy going on. I can just smell it.” She sniffed the air.
“No, that’s just my bags full of salty liquorice, Pinkie,” Lyra walked up to her. ”Bon Bon told me to get them to Granny Smith.”
“You too?” Pinkie wondered as she fell in trott next to her. “Maybe they’re having a surprise sweets party?”
***
Granny Smith sat on the porch when the two ponies hauled their sweet load through the gates of the farm. “Hello Granny Smith, Mr. Cake tells you that they have come to town and I should give you this sack of treats.” She dropped her cargo to the ground, and Lyra placed her bags next to it.
Pinkie had never seen Granny move so fast and agile. She rang the big triangle that hung by the door and seconds later Big McIntosh and Applejack ran from the orchard like Nightmare Moon was on their heels.
The matriarch gave short orders, “Big Mac, to your books, Applejack, to the west orchard, wake up those fruitbats, and I don’t want to see you at the farm again today.” Without a single question both ponies nodded and left. McIntosh walked into the house, and Applejack ran down the path, back into the orchards. “You two, come with me.”
Granny Smith walked down to the pigpen and pointed to a trough. “Just drop the stuff in there.” She whistled, and a number of pigs lifted their heads from the slough. Something in Pinkie’s heard shattered as she watched a whole day worth of baked goods and sweets turn into pig swill. As the ponies walked back to the farmhouse a swarm of fruitbats settled into the orchard by the path and devoured half of the apples. Granny Smith grinned. “Good. Very good!”
Pinkie Pie was at her wit’s end. The world had stopped making sense. Maybe this was how her friends felt when they complained about her being Pinkie Pie? But Lyra was just as shaken. They returned into a transformed Ponyville: what had been beautiful and bustling when they left, looked glum and gloomy now. She could even see Rainbow Dash push some heavy rain clouds into position over the town. Pinkie felt her mane deflating and couldn’t even work up the energy to smile as a grey unicorn stallion advanced her on the big square in front of town hall.
“Excuse me, could you point me to Sugarcube Corner? My name is Penny Pincher, I’m with the Equestria Revenue Service.”