//------------------------------//
// Chapter Fifteen: Back To School 
// Story: The Interdimensional Field Trip 
// by Fussan 
//------------------------------//

                                                                  Chapter Fifteen: Back To School

Equis, Equestria, Ponyville
"Wait, what?!" Twilight had been the first person who Rainbow had told what had happened back at Carousel Boutique to, and I really wish she had not.
"I told you Twi', it was that damn perfume that made me go nuts," I said. "I'm sorry if you're upset, but it was out of my hands."
"Yes Twilight, it was my fault for wearing that scent around him," Rarity added. "If you're going to blame anypony, blame me."
Twilight looked at both of us with a face of true hurt and betrayal. "Django, I can't believe that you would do this... twice! I thought that you wanted to be with me, but you keep going around with other mares, and every time you do, you come up with some kind of excuse of why it wasn't your fault." She looked away from both of us. "I just don't know what to think anymore..."
I could not believe this. she did not trust me anymore! I did go around a lot, but she was the one that I really wanted. I could get myself out of this situation, but doing so might put me in more trouble than I was in already. I looked at Twilight's face and saw a sadness that nearly killed me, and I knew that I could not leave her like this, I had pushed her way too hard, and I needed to make up for it. "Twi'?"
She did not look at me, so I got more aggressive.
"Twilight, look at me."
She still did not look at me, instead she turned and ran up the stairs to her bedroom.
"God damn it!"
I turned to look at Rarity. "Rarity, I gotta go talk to her. Just head on home, this might take a while."
Rarity nodded. "Yes, I know that she can be stubborn at times. I'll return home for the time being, but when everything is settled, let me know where things stand."
"All right, I will, but first I have to go see if those things can still stand." I waved to her as she walked out of the library's front door, and then started walking up the stairs to Twilight's bedroom. When I got to the door I did not even bother knocking, I just pushed it open and walked inside. It was dark in the bedroom, and I was lucky that I had great night vision. "Twilight, I know you're in here; I can sense your heartbeat," I said in a creepy voice.
I looked around and I saw a lump underneath the covers on her bed. I smirked and walked over to her bed slowly. "You know, it's only a matter of time before I find you Twilight, so just come on out and save me the time of looking." I saw the lump on the bed move slightly, and I crept over to the bed and stood directly over the lump. I slowly reached my hand over the top of the covers, and when I had a firm grip I ripped them off of the bed faster than Twilight could act. "Gotcha."
She jumped off of the bed and walked around to the other side where I could not reach her. "I don't want to talk to you Django, just leave me alone."
I did not want her to be angry at me, and I knew that she would not forgive me until I made up for my mistakes. "Hey Twilight look, I'm sorry, I really am. I fucked up, I know that, but I swear I'll never do it again as long as I live."
"I don't believe you," she said without looking at me. "This is the second time you've done this to me Django, and I won't let you do it to me a third time."
I sighed deeply. "Twilight, look at me, I need to say something."
She did not look at me, and I knew that I would have to do what I had planned, or I might lose her.
I walked up to her and went down on one knee so that I was closer to her eye level. I used my hand to gently grip her chin and made her look at me. "Twilight, remember when you said that if I got into a relationship with you, that I'd be getting into one with all of your friends too?" She nodded a little bit in my grip. "Well, I guess I just wanted to get to know who the people are that I'm going to be in a relationship with."
She looked confused for a second, but then she took on a look of shock. "Wait, so you mean that... you accept the fact that you won't be just my coltfriend, but you'll be the coltfriend of all of my friends too?"
I nodded at her in confirmation. "Yeah Twi'; I don't want to lose you, so if it means that I'll be going out with all of your friends too, then I'll gladly do it."
She looked like she was searching my eyes for any lies for a time, but when she found none, a slow smile started spreading across her face. "Django, I don't think I can forgive you until you prove to me that you want to be with me."
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh? What is it that you'll have me do to prove myself?"
She leaned forward faster than I ever thought that she could move and grabbed my collar between her teeth. She then stood on her back legs and pushed me onto her bed with her front hooves. When I was on the bed she released her grip on my collar and moved her head up next to mine. "I want you to prove to me how much you want to be with me," she whispered into my ear.
My eyes widened when she told me what I had to do, but then they narrowed dangerously at her. "Ooohh, I'm gonna make you regret that Twi'."
She smiled wryly at me when I said that. "Prove it."
So with the fight over, and me in a new seven-way relationship, I had just solved a lot of my problems regarding social issues. So I was free to spend the next few hours proving to Twilight just how much I wanted to be with her.
***
I was sitting on the side of the bed going through the playlist I had created for sexy time in the bedroom, wishing that I had even bothered to turn some of the songs on. It was because I was so caught up in going through my iPod that I did not notice Twilight coming up behind me. I felt something tap my shoulder, and I looked around to see her staring into my eyes.
"So," she said, "are you ready to go again?"
I smiled at her. "Sorry, but these kind of things take a while," I said to her, waving my iPod around.
She snorted at me and walked around the bed so that she was next to me. "What are you even doing with that thing?"
"Well," I said, "have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra?"
She raised an eyebrow at me. "Is that the Human version of the Pony Sutra?"
I nodded at her. "Yes, I think that's what it would be called here."
"What about it?" she asked.
"Well, I have a list of everything in it on here, and I was just checking a few things off on my to-do list."
Her eyes widened when I told her that, and I could not help but laugh at how surprised she looked. "What?" I said indignantly. "Did you actually think I knew all of that without looking at a guide?" She could not seem to find the words to speak, so I assumed that she did in fact think that. "Well, as flattering as that is, I'm afraid that I'll have to tell you that you're wrong. But I'll let you in on a little secret." I leaned in very close to her. "I have the whole damn thing memorized."
Her eyes were the size of dinner plates, and her jaw dropped down to the surface of the bed that we were on.
"Really Twi', how could anybody know those kind of things without something to go off of?" I asked her.
She regained the ability to talk after that. "Wow Django, I guess that I thought that you were just really skilled."
"Oh believe me, I am. But what's a master without his handbook?"
She gained a small, seductive smile at that. "So, if you have a handbook, why don't you show me a few more things from it?"
"Well, I don't want to run out too quickly, and I only have one hundred and seventy-four left, according to my list here."
She took a step closer to me, and then another, then when she was close enough she swung one leg over me so that when she sat down on me I was between her two hind legs and she was sitting in my lap, facing me.
I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you with something?"
She smiled wryly down at me. "You can help me with a lot of things Django." She then kissed me, and used the strength that she had gained from her raised position to push me down with her lips. When I was flat on my back she broke the kiss, and I used the time it gained me to speak. "You know Twilight...," she kissed me again, then broke it, "I do have some things that...," I was interrupted again, "I would like to do today...," she stopped the flow of words with her lips for a third time, "you know, besides this."
"What's out there that you want to do more than this?" she asked me in a voice that clearly said that she did not believe me.
"Well," I said, "remember that you said that I would need to go to the local school? Well I just think that I better start going, or I might go crazy from a lack of brain numbing school lessons."
She looked at me like I was an idiot. "You would rather do that than stay here with me?"
I took on a theatrical, over-dramatically shocked expression. "Oh, heavens no, but if don't make a public appearance every now and then, what will the peasants think?! They know that I'm living with you, and if I don't come out and make my rounds once in a while, they might start talking..."
She rolled her eyes at me and climbed off of me so I could get up. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on my clothes- that Rarity so kindly interrupted us at one point to deliver- and pocketed my iPod. I looked over to Twilight to see her giving me an annoyed look. "Don't worry," I said, "I'm sure there'll be plenty of time to have some fun after I get back from school in a few hours." She instantly perked up at that, and leaned forward to kiss me, then I was off to get ready.
I had gotten back from Rarity's house at around eight o' clock, and I had spent the rest of the night- and most of the morning- with Twilight, and it was about five o' clock in the morning.
I walked down the stairs and past the main room and went straight down the stairs that would lead me into the basement where me and the rest of the juniors slept. I took a hot shower, brushed my teeth, and used a lot of Axe. I did a few things to tidy myself up in the way of appearances, then I went over to my bed and grabbed my pack to make sure that everything I would need in a school environment was there, and then went back upstairs to make myself and Twilight some breakfast- those idiots I came here with can starve for all I care.
I had kept it simple. Cinnamon apple pancakes with powdered sugar, honey-burnt eggs, and crisp vanilla toast... Yeah, just me keeping it simple.
Twilight trotted down the stairs when I was just finishing up the process of washing the pans and my hands. "Django, did you made everypony breakfast?"
I turned off the sink and leaned my back against the counter. "Eenope, I made breakfast for me and you; those bastards down in the basement can make themselves a bowl of cereal."
She got a blank face at that. "Well aren't you nice?" she said in a flat voice.
I smirked at her. "Yeah, I'm a little angel, aren't I?"
We both sat down and ate the breakfast I had just made, and Twilight seemed to enjoy it just as much as she had when she had first eaten my cooking. When we were done I picked up the plates and washed them off in the small sink under the kitchen window, then went down to wake up my friends in the basement. I walked down there to see Lewis already awake, but the other two were still in their beds. I walked over to the beds and decided that waking them separately would be favoritism, so I took a bed post in each hand and shook hard enough to make them both fall out of their beds. "Wake up you lazy sods, there's work to be done!" I was yelling at them in my British voice- the same voice that Twilight found extremely sexy- and I was loud enough to make them wake up instantly, though that could have been from them falling out of their beds and on to the floor.
"Man, what the fuck is wrong with you man?!" T-boy screamed at me.
"I don't know bro, but psychiatrists have been trying to figure it out since I was seven," I said in a serious voice.
They both looked at me like they wanted to kill me, so I thought that I would keep my speech short. "Listen guys, we're going to the local schoolhouse, so get ready or you'll be going smelling like you rolled in shit."
"Are you crazy?" Tyrence asked me. "I ain't goin' to no school."
I looked at him with a sneer. "Well, not willingly maybe, but you will be going."
He looked at me like I had just insulted him. "Man I ain't goin' to school, and there ain't no way you can make me."
I cocked my head to the side. "Well, not me, but Twilight once turned a bird into an orange, so I'm sure turning you into a pile of bird seed and teleporting you to the park won't be too hard." After that he got quiet, and I knew that I had won our little argument. I walked over to the couch where Lewis was sitting and took a seat on the opposite end of it.
"Django man, do we really gotta go to school here?" he asked me.
"Yeah man," I answered, "we do. But don't worry, it's only from ten to two, and it's grade school shit, so it should be easy."
He looked at me like he was doing something that he really did not want to do. "Were you telling the truth when you said that Twilight could do that stuff?"
"Oh yeah," I said. "She could even make you go deaf with magical music, lift you up high enough so that you could not breathe, and even make you grow an awesome mustache."
"Whatever you say man," Lewis said, shaking his head.
I knew that Lewis was having the hardest time of all of us being here. He had a girl that he loved that he needed to get back to. None of us had anything like that going on for us to make us want to get back as quickly as possible.
"Don't worry man, everything's gonna be fine, trust me." I then got up and walked back upstairs to Twilight. I saw her laying on a large pillow in the main room of the library reading a book that was almost as big as her. I was about to go talk to her, but a knock at the front door stopped me.
I looked over to the door, then back to Twilight, who was looking at me. "Expecting company are we?"
"No, not that I know of," she said.
I walked over to the door and opened it to see a grey pegasis with a blond mane and tail and golden eyes that looked in different directions.
"Hi sir!" she said in a cheery voice. "Are you Dee-jango?"
I gained a smile that was so big that it hurt, but I did not notice the pain, I only noticed the mare in front of me. "Hey Derpy, how's it goin'?"
Her eyes widened when she heard that I knew her name. "You know my name?!"
I nodded at her. "Eeyup, I know you Derpy."
"Did you hear about me from other ponies?" she asked in a hesitant voice.
"No, I've seen you around, and I've always wanted to meet you."
She looked surprised when I said that. "Why would you want to meet me?"
"Well that's simple," I said. "I've always wanted to meet you because you're the most awesome pony ever."
She smiled at me. "You think I'm awesome?"
"Yeah Derpy; I don't know how anybody could think that you're not awesome."
"Thanks Dee-jango, I've never had anypony call me awesome before."
"Uh, my name is actually pronounced 'Django'. The D is silent," I said.
She smiled at me sheepishly. "Oh, oops, sorry Django."
"No problem," I said.
We smiled at each other, but then her eyes widened. "Oh, I almost forgot," she said. reaching into a big saddlebag with a muffin on it. "This is for you, from Octavia and Vinyl Scratch." She then handed, well hoofed me a small brown box.
"Why would they be sending me things...?" I wondered to myself out loud. I took the box and opened it up to reveal... my old clothes! They had sent me back my old clothes that I had left at their house during my drunken night out on the town. I had my cargos, my shirt, and my boots back. And also my "tool" belt- that I had secretly decided to keep. I had all of my old stuff back, and I was glad of it.
"Is it something good?"
I had almost forgotten that Derpy was still here. "Yeah, it's something really good." I then reached into the little pouch that held twenty bits at all times that I had on me and pulled out three of them. "Here, take this," I said as I handed her the bits.
She looked at the bits in her hoof like they were strange in some way. "But, sir, these kind of jobs don't require you to pay me on delivery."
"I know," I said, "but I want you to have it anyways, as a tip."
She smiled at me. "Thanks sir, I appreciate it."
I smiled back. "Please, call me Django."
"Why?" she asked me in a confused voice.
"Well, friends don't call friends 'sir' on my planet, so..."
Her smile grew wider. "Wait, you want to be friends?"
"Hell yeah," I said. "Being friends with you would be great Derpy."
"Wow, okay then... Django," she giggled when she said my name, and I nearly died of the cuteness overload that I was receiving. "Well, I have more deliveries to make, so I'll see you later Django." She then turned around and started to fly away.
I quickly looked behind me to see Twilight still caught up in reading her book. "Uh, hey Derpy?"
She turned around in mid-air to face me. "Yeah Django?"
I looked behind me once more to make sure that Twilight was not listening. "Uh, would you want to go to Sugar Cube Corner sometime, to like, I don't know, uh, maybe get a milkshake, or a muffin maybe?"
She looked at me like she was trying to figure out a problem. "I don't know, I'm kind of busy with work, and my daughter, and some other things."
I knew that trick. It was one that single mothers used to scare away men looking for a one time only thing. If they mention that they have a kid, then most men will start heading for the hills. But I was not looking for a one time thing, not with Derpy.
"Oh, don't worry, I'd be happy to buy you and your daughter something there," I said cheerfully.
She smiled brightly at me when she heard me say that I did not mind that she had a daughter. "Sure Django, I'm free this Friday at around four."
"It's a date. I'll see you then Derpy, take care and tell your daughter I said hello, yeah?"
She nodded and waved at me as she flew off to deliver the rest of the mail for today.
I waved back at her and then walked back into the house. I set the box down on the floor and pulled out my boots and put them on. Then I put on the belt that held my assortment of fun-time items- because for some weird reason my old belt seemed to have disappeared into thin air- and took the rest of the clothes down into the basement and put them into my little storage space.
There was still a few hours until we had to be at school, so I thought that I would spend the time just hanging out with my friends. I had pulled out my deck of cards and had dealt out a few hands of AK-47. We talked, we laughed, we got into arguments about stupid things like who was the best rapper- it was Eminem of course- and what we should do when we get back home, and generally had a fun time. But nothing lasts forever, and as the time past us by, we knew that the good times would not last, and that we would soon be skull deep in boring school type stuff. I had won most of the hands, but we were only playing with Human money, so it did not really matter. That was actually the story of my life though, was not it? I do all kinds of things that are fun, and I am good at them. But I have never done anything that really mattered. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I did not even notice when Twilight had come down to let us know that it was time to go.
"Yo Django, the pony is talking to us."
I blinked a few times rapidly. "Huh, what?"
"The pony," said T-boy, "it's talking to us."
T-boy had not realized it, but he had just said something that was very wrong.
I leaned over the small table and got right in his face. "First of all, 'the pony', as you call her, isn't an 'it'. Second, her name is Twilight, so start calling her by her name, understand?"
He leaned back a little in his seat. "Whoa, calm down man."
I snorted at him. "Yeah, you remember what I said, or we're gonna have some problems."
I turned around to face Twilight. "Yeah Twi', what is it?"
"It's time for you and your friends first day of school, so let's go," she said.
I put my hands to my face. "God damn it," I said quietly to myself. "Okay y'all," I told the other Humans with me, "time to hit the road. School's callin', and we gotta answer." I then packed up my cards and grabbed my pack and walked them all up the stairs. I  could tell that they did not want to go, but I was not really giving them the choice. We were all ready to go, and I was just finishing up making sure that we had everything.
"Well, that's it, let's go," I said.
"Are you sure you're ready for this Django?" Twilight asked.
I looked at her and gave a tired smile. It was easy because I had not slept since the night before. "Well, I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Let's just get this over with."
With that, Twilight walked us out of the door, and down the street towards our new school. I did not know about the other guys, but I was actually a little excited about this. I have always wanted to meet Cheerilee and the CMC- which consisted of Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo- and also wanted to see if a few theories that I had come up with were true, and this was the best chance I could possibly get. So on we walked, down the road and through the town, onwards to our new school, and all that it held.
***
"Are you ready for this?" Twilight asked me.
I nodded my head in confirmation. "Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."
"Okay then, it's time for your first day of school in Equestria," Twilight said.
We then walked through the entrance to the small school and up to the desk where Cheerilee was sitting. We were a few feet from the desk when she noticed us, and she walked over to greet us. Cheerilee was an earth pony with a mulberry colored coat and a lighter shade for her mane and tail with an even lighter shaded streak of it going through them. A smooth, light green eye color, and she had three- you better not even dare laugh- smiling flowers as her Cutie mark.
"Hello Twilight," she said in a cheery voice, then looked to me and my friends. "You must be Django, Lewis, T-boy, and Tyrence."
"Yeah, that's us, representin' room two-two-two special ed. style," I said in a ghetto voice.
She blinked at me. "Uh, well we're happy to have you here, so why don't you all take a seat in the back row, and we can get started."
I turned to my friends to tell them what was going to happen. "Okay, we're going to be sitting in the back row of the class. Even though we're all classified as 'mentally challenged', we're still gonna have to do some work, so pay attention."
They all groaned and rolled their eyes at me. "If you don't want to go to school, you can always help out working on the fields over at Applejack's farm."
After I said that they all followed directions very nicely indeed. They went to the back of the room and sat in the tiny desks that were provided to us, and assumed the positions that they usually did in school when they were bored.
I sat closest to the window and put my pack over the back of my seat and got ready for some lessons, pony style.
"Good morning class!" Cheerilee said.
"Good morning Miss Cheerilee!" the class responded in unison.
She smiled at all of the kids in the room and then cleared her throat. "Today we have some new students. I would like you all to meet Django, Lewis, T-boy, and Tyrence."
The entire class turned around to look at us- god I hated being stared at- and we all just looked back. This went on for a few minutes before Cheerilee started speaking again. "Well, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself Django?"
I stood up from my tiny chair in the back of the room and looked over the small ponies in the room with me. They were children, probably no more than ten or eleven years old, and here I was, sixteen and towering over them like... well, a tower. I coughed a bit to clear my throat, and started to speak to them. "My name is Django, and these are my friends. We're from the planet Earth, we don't like going to school, and we eat meat."
Might as well start turning on the charm early on, eh Django?
All of the students in the room grew wide-eyed at my introduction of us, and I was glad. I was trying to make myself sound as antisocial as possible to avoid having to deal with the local kids wanting to make friends. But when I thought about it, I kind of wanted to be friends with certain ones, but I guess old habits die hard.
"That was, um, a lovely introduction Django. Go ahead and sit back down and we can start the lessons for the day," Cheerilee said in a slightly disturbed sounding voice.
I sat back down in my seat and closed my eyes for a short time, pretending to be asleep. I heard Cheerilee writing on the chalkboard, I heard kids whispering about us, and I heard a few things said about us that I would find the person who said them later and have a little chat with them involving my fists. But the most interesting thing I heard had to be from three familiar voices. Those voices would belong to Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo, and they were talking about us in a way that I found most intriguing indeed.
"Do you think they have their Cutie marks?" Applebloom asked to the others in a hushed voice.
"Do you think they even know what Cutie marks are?" asked Sweetie Bell in the same tone as her friend.
"I bet they know how to get a Cutie mark no problem. We should ask them to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Scootaloo whispered to her friends.
They went on like this for a short time until Cheerilee finished what she was writing on the chalkboard and started the lesson.
"Okay class, today we're going to be learning about proper writing skills," Cheerilee said, and then the whole class groaned. "Now, now, I know this isn't the most exciting topic in the world, but it is an important one. So, who wants to tell us what some important things are to pay attention to when writing?"
I raised my hand in the air.
Miss Cheerilee looked at me and smiled. "Yes, Django, what do you think is important when writing?"
"Well," I started, "you need to indent the first line in a paragraph, and you always need to capitalize the first letter of the first word in every sentence, and also capitalize proper nouns like names of people, or places. You need to remember to check your work for spelling errors too, and to make corrections on any of them that you see. You also need to remember to put more than just periods at the end of sentences; if you want emphasis on something, you need an exclamation mark, and if it's a question, you need a question mark. You can't jump from one topic to another in one sentence either, you need to end the sentence, or even the paragraph to change a topic. Also, if one sentence starts to run on, you can use a colon to combine two sentences that have something to do with each other. also proper punctuation marks are needed to show that there's a pause, or that it's a combination of words, an abbreviation, or if it's singular or plural possessive. Pacing in a story is important too; like if one second you have the guy walking down the street, and then all of a sudden he's getting drunk in a bar, it makes no sense. You have to build up to things, and not make them happen too fast or too slow to make them interesting. But most importantly, you need a strong plot line to the story that you're writing, and good characters as well. Nobody wants to read a story without a plot and poorly designed characters with bad lines, so you really need to know what you're doing in order to write a decent story. But all of that's just the beginning; there's loads of other stuff to learn, but all of that would take days to learn if you don't already know something about writing a good story already, so I'll leave it at that."
By the time I was done speaking, the whole room, including Miss Cheerilee,  was stunned into silence. I guess nobody thought that somebody as young as me could possibly know as much about writing as I do, and I do not hold it against them for thinking that.
"Th- that was a very good answer Django! That's amazing that you know so much!" Cheerilee exclaimed.
I bowed my head a little bit, accepting the praise.
"How do you know all of this?" Cheerilee asked.
"Well," I said, "I'm a writer and an editor back home, and people always said I was good at it, so I just did all I could to get better."
"You're a writer back on your planet?"
"Yeah. But I'm nothing super special or anything, but I'm pretty good at it."
"What kind of things do you write about?"
I thought for a moment about my answer. "Well, I mostly write fiction and fantasy, but I do other things on requests too."
"Well, it's good to know that somepony in my class knows something about how to write," she said, obviously addressing her regular class. She then turned around to write something on her chalkboard and a lot of students took that as their cue to turn around in their seats and glare at me. But I was not like normal kids, so I just glared right back, daring them to do something, and I actually saw some of them flinch away from my cold gaze, and that brought a small, twisted smile to my face.
Cheerilee turned around, and I instantly went back to how I looked before, and she only caught the kids that were looking back at me, so I got a small chuckle out of that. After she told them all that they were going to be spending recess inside, writing down how you should not be angry at people who knew more about something than you did, the bell rang, and I saw that all of the kids who were allowed to go outside cheer and ran out of the room and onto the playground.
I stood up and motioned for my friends to follow me, and we went out of the building and onto the playground where all of the little kids were having a good time. I looked all around us and saw a secluded corner in the small area and started walking straight towards it. Once we were there I could see that we were out of the viewing range of most of the playground and was glad of it. I was not allowed to gamble in school back home, so I doubted that it would be okay here.
"Okay, y'all up for a game of AK-47?" I asked my friends.
"Yeah man, let's play," T-boy said.
The other two just sat down on the ground and I dealt out four hands and started up the game. We went for about five minutes before T-boy won the first hand, and I dealt a second hand. This time it lasted longer, and I had won the hand, but that was not all, we now had the attention of two particular nasty little bullies, and they were walking right towards us.
"Hey guys," I said, "there's two younger ponies coming towards us right now. They aren't very friendly, so just keep playing and let me deal with them."
The others looked at me and nodded, letting me know that they'll let me handle it.
They walked right up to us and saw that we were playing cards. "Oh look Silver Spoon, the new kids are playing a little game," said a small pink earth pony with a light purple and white striped mane and light blue eyes wearing a tiara encrusted with diamonds.
"Oh wow Diamond Tiara, I bet they're having, like, so much fun!" said a grey earth pony with a two-tone silver streaked mane and tail with a braid in the back of her head and light purple eyes.
"So, are you having fun new kids? Do you like playing your little game?" Diamond Tiara asked snidely.
"Eeyup," I said, "we sure are."
They both laughed loud enough to draw the attention of the whole school over to us, so after only a few seconds, the entire school was watching us with interest.
"I bet you are new kid, and I bet you enjoy showing off how much of a nerd you are too."
I did not even look away from my hand of cards. "Trust me kid, there's a difference from being smart and being a nerd."
I could see her take on an offended look out of the corner of my eye. "I am not a kid, I'm almost eleven years old!"
"Oh really now? Well guess what, I'll be seventeen in a month, and do you know what that means?"
She looked confused, and I did not give her a chance to answer. "It means that as long as I do it within the month, I can still beat you black and bloody and not get in any trouble."
Her eyes widened considerably when I said that. "No you can't! My daddy's rich, and he'll make sure that you get sent to jail if you do!"
I did not like people threatening me, and I really did not like kids talking to me like they were better than me, so this got on my nerves. I looked her straight in the eye. "Listen kid, if I were you, I'd leave before I got angry."
She scoffed at me like she did not believe me. Big mistake. "What are you going to do? Get me in trouble with Cheerilee? I've gotten out of trouble before, and I can do it again, so you should be the one to watch out for me getting angry."
I was nearing the end of my very limited pool of patience. "I'm going to tell you one more time kid, leave before I make you sorry for trying to fuck with me."
"Um, Diamond Tiara, maybe we should-" Silver Spoon started, but was cut short by Diamond Tiara.
"Is that a threat?! I'll have my daddy throw you in jail for that you loser!"
When she said that I stood up so fast that she fell back in surprise. I grabbed her by her mane and lifted her up in the air. "Listen here you little shit!" I yelled in her face. "You'd better stop talking to me like you're better than me or I'll fucking eat you!" Her eyes got huge when I said that. "I haven't had any meat in my diet since I got here, and I bet you'd taste so good." I opened my mouth and put my teeth on her neck and bit down slightly. Just enough to hurt her. "I'll do it, right here in front of everybody. I'll rip your throat out with my teeth, and I'll drink your blood like it's cherry soda. I won't even bother cutting you up either. I'll just stick a big spike through you and roast you over an open fire, and you'll taste so fucking good!"
She squirmed in my grip, but only ended up cutting her neck on my teeth. "P- please, I'm sorry. Please don't eat me!"
I took my teeth away from her throat, but not before I licked up the small amount of blood that had escaped her neck. I licked my lips in showing that I liked the taste of it, and then I dropped her and she hit the ground with a "thump".
I looked down at her with a sick smile on my face. "Now I know what you taste like, so you'd better behave, or I'll come back for the rest of it when you're sleeping," I said in a voice that belonged to a psychopath.
She instantly got up and ran away screaming at the top of her lungs away from the schoolhouse and towards the town. I looked down to Silver Spoon and raised an eyebrow. "You wanna join our game Silver?"
She blinked in surprise. "Wh- what?"
"It's Diamond Tiara that I can't stand. I actually don't really mind you all that much. So how 'bout it, wanna join our game, or do you wanna give me a taste of your blood too?" I finished saying that with a sick smile on my face and a light in my eyes that only comes out when I am doing things that I should not be.
"Um, h- how do I play?" she asked me.
I sat back down and patted the ground next to me, motioning for her to sit next to me. She walked over slowly and sat down next to me, but far enough away from me to have trouble reaching her. I picked up my hand of cards and showed it to her. "We're playing a game called AK-47; you need an ace, a king, a four, and a seven, and then you win. If you have a card that you don't want or don't need, you pick up another card from the deck and put the one you don't want down in the discard pile."
She studied my hand for a while, and then pointed at a six that I had. "So I want to get rid of that?"
I nodded at her. "Yeah, that's right." I then put the six in the discard pile and drew another card that was a seven.
"Hey, a seven's good right?"
"Yeah, but you see how I have another seven?"
She nodded at me. "Yeah, so I get rid of that one right?"
I shook my head. "No, no way. If they have an ace, a king, and a four, and I put down this seven, then they can pick it up and then they'll win, and we don't want them to win."
She nodded her head slowly in understanding. "Oh, I get it now."
I smiled at her like a father would smile at his son if he just hit a home run in a little league game.
Look at her, I thought to myself, only at it for a few minutes and already learning to gamble illegally. I wiped away a figurative tear from my eye. I'm so fuckin' proud of her!
In the end, she had won three hands in a row, and was feeling pretty good about herself. But all of the other kids wanted to try it, and I had gotten an idea. A terrible, evil, brilliant idea.
"This is fun and all, but do you want to play something even better?" I asked the crowd of kids.
They all nodded enthusiastically at my suggestion.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out four dice, one pair that was white with red dots, and the other pair was silver with black dots. "Let's play dice. It's a lot more fun than cards or anything like that."
They all agreed to it, and I knew that I had them.
"Hey guys," I said to my Human friends, "sit this one out; I'm about to do something that ain't quite legal."
They all nodded and smiled at me while backing up against the building as look-outs for anybody who would bust us, as was the protocol.
"Now," I said to the ponies, "to make this game as fun as possible, you need to put one bit in the center, and then you can bet."
They all looked confused when I said this. "Don't worry, you'll all get your money back afterwards. This is only to show you how it's played,"  I said in a reassuring voice.
They all got "Oh, I get it" faces and started putting bits into the center of the little ring that we had formed.
"Now, how this works is that you can bet for odds, evens, six and down, or seven and up. You can also bet on specific numbers, and your payout will be doubled, but it's a much less likely chance for you to win. Do all of you understand the rules?" I asked all of them.
They all nodded their heads, and I set the pair of white and red dice rolling on a bet to show them what it looked like. This "game" went on for a few minutes, and the hoard of bits was falling to me and a few others, and I decided that I wanted to raise the stakes. "Hey, you're all doing good at this, so why don't we play for real now?" I then pulled a bag of twenty bits off of my belt and put it in the middle. "You put in your lot, and winner takes all."
"But I thought that you said that we'd get our money back," I heard one of the kids say.
"Yes, yes I did say that. So, if you few will be so kind as to give them back their money- OR... you can bet that, and I'll double it if you win, and you all walk away richer."
They got very quiet after I said that, and I knew that they would need some convincing. "Do you see my pile of bits? Now look at all of their bits. They have a much better chance at winning than I do, and if they win- which they have a good chance at doing so- then you all get not one bit back, but two bits."
They all looked at each other, and then at me. "Will you really double our money if we win?" asked a pony from somewhere in the small crowd.
I smiled at them all. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," I said as I did the motions of a Pinkie promise. That was good enough for them, so they agreed that the kids who had already won a bunch of times would try to beat me.
I bet small amounts at first, and purposefully tried to lose. I put on a worried face after the third time, but then I won half of it back, and regained my confident look. But as recess neared its end, I knew that I would have to make my move, and soon.
"Hey, recess is almost over, so why don't we go all-in and settle who wins it?"
The three that were playing looked uncertain of my suggestion, so I tried to convince them. "I'll even let you all team up, so that if any of you win, you all still win." They all smiled at my idea and pushed all of their money into one big pile, and moved to sit next to each other.
"I think I'm going to win though, so do you guys want some extra help?"
They looked all excited, probably because they had no idea that I was about to cheat them out of all of their money.
"Yeah!" one of them yelled.
"Give us all the help you can Django," another said.
"I bet with this help, we'll take all of his money, and be the richest kids in Ponyville!" the third one exclaimed.
It did my deviant heart good to see that there are grade A suckers on every planet that will fall for my scams. This scam being the "Silver Dice" scam, I pulled out the second pair of dice and handed them over to the three kids sitting across from me.
"Is this the help?" one of the kids asked.
"It sure is kid," I said.
"How will another pair of dice help us?" a second one asked me.
"Because," I said slowly, "these are special dice. Whenever these are used, I always win. So I want you to use them, so you can have all the chance in the world."
Yeah, to feed my pockets!
The one sitting in the middle of them them picked up the dice and called his bet. "We bet odds." He then shook the dice in his hoof and launched them across the ground. They rolled for a short time, and then they both stood an edge. One going to land on either a five or a six, the other going to land on either a one or a two. The first of the dice fell on the six, so all I needed was for the other to land on the two. It started to lean towards the one though, so I reached into my pocket and turned on the small device that is connected to the dice and spun the wheel in the other direction. It wobbled for a short time, but after a second it landed on... the two.
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss kids, but that's how the dice fall." I then scooped up all of my winnings and put them in the small pouch that I carry around with me to keep my money in. I had come to school that day with twenty bits, and now I had nearly twenty more. It was not a big win, but it was still a win, and I take wins whenever I can get them.
"W- we just lost all of that money..." one of the kids said slowly.
"Yeah, that tends to happen when you're dealing with me, so let that be a lesson to you kids. You should know you're not supposed to gamble in public; it's illegal y'know." With that I walked away from the kids and over to the front of the school house just in time to make the bell.
I saw Cheerilee sitting at her desk looking over some papers, and she looked my way as I walked in with my friends. "So how was your first recess here Django?"
I thought for a moment before answering, but it was only for show, I already knew what I was going to say. "Well," I said, "I think it was pretty good actually."
She smiled at me warmly. "That's good Django. Now the day is half over, and you've spent a lot of the time having fun."
"Wow," I said, "I could get used to school being like this."
***
The rest of class time was spent by doing some math, and a few social studies related things. That, and having kids asking me for their money back, and me telling them in the politest way that I could to fuck off. So all in all, my first day of school in Equestria was not all that bad. It was almost time to go, and I think that me and Silver Spoon were friends, but I was not sure. I had also talked a bit with the CMC, and they invited me and my friends from Earth over to their clubhouse after school.
"Well, that's all for today class. I'll you all tomorrow morning at ten o' clock."
I was stuffing my extra supplies into my pack and my friends were doing things along those same lines, but we were interrupted by Cheerilee. "Django, can I talk to you for a minute?"
I looked at my friends. "Hang here for a second, I'll be back."
They all nodded at me, and I turned around and walked over to Cheerilee's desk to see what it was that she wanted. "Yeah Cheerilee; can I help you with something?" I asked her.
She looked at me with a warm smile, and I felt a strange bolt of happiness go through me. I did not like this feeling, so I crushed it with the massive amounts of hate that I have stored inside of me. "I just wanted to ask if you and your friends would be interested in some extra-credit work," she said.
I blinked once and rubbed my neck. "Uh, the thing is, we're not too fond of doing extra anything for school..."
"Well it would be very simple, all you have to do is study somepony and write down if they're different from a person on your planet and in what ways," she said in a cheery voice.
"Oh, well that's pretty easy, and we could use all the credit we can get." I nodded my head at her. "Yeah, I'll talk to them real quick, hold on."
I then walked over to where my friends were standing, waiting for me. "Uh, guys, here's the thing, Cheerilee's offered us an extra-credit assignment to do, and it's way easy. We'll probably get out of doing shit tomorrow if we do it, so how about it?"
They looked at me l was crazy.
"Man, I don't like doin' normal-credit work. Why would I do extra work?" Tyrence asked me.
"Well, because if you do this one easy thing today, you might get out of doing a lot of hard things tomorrow," I responded.
They looked to be thinking it over for a short time while I stood there in front of them, and after a while, they agreed to do it. I walked back over to Cheerilee's desk to tell her that we would do the project. "Hey Cheerilee, we've all agreed that we want to do the project, but they got it in their heads that it'll get them out of doing work tomorrow, I don't know why."
"Oh that's great!" she said happily. "Do you have anypony in mind who you would like to study?"
I thought for a moment before answering. "Well, Twilight would have us up all night, and none of her friends are, um, let's just say regular enough to get accurate results. So no, I don't really know anybody who would fit the spot for a good study."
"Well," she said, "you could study me if you don't have anypony else you could do."
"You'd really let us use you as a study subject?" I asked her.
She nodded at me with a smile. "Yes Django, you and your friends can use me as a subject."
"Ah sweet, thanks Cheerilee."
"It's no problem Django," she said with a smile. She then looked thoughtful for a moment, but continued to speak after a short time. "You'll all need a pencil and paper, but that's about it."
"No worries, I have all of that in my pack," I said.
"Okay then Django, I don't want to keep you any longer than I have to, so we can keep it simple by going by the five senses."
I nodded my head slowly at her idea. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, nice and simple."
"Okay then, go tell your friends that we're ready to begin and we can start."
I nodded and walked over to where my friends where standing with bored expressions on their faces and told them what was going to happen. "Okay guys, I'll ask her five questions, you write down what I do, and then we can get the hell outta here, yeah?" They all agreed to my plan and I handed out pencils from my pack- because I can not even begin to count how many of those damn things I have in there- and took some paper from a nearby table. I led them to the desks directly in front of Cheerilee, and we began our extra-credit project.
"First question," Cheerilee began. "Do I look like a girl on your planet?"
I was a little surprised when she said girl. I expected her to say teacher or something like that, but it is her questions, so I answered them. "Nope, you look like a girl on this planet."
"Well, write that down as your first reason," she told me.
I wrote it down and showed the others how to write in Equine, and they wrote down their answers' as well.
"Second question. Do I sound like a girl on your planet?"
I thought for a moment to consider the question. Barring the local mannerisms, she sounded exactly like a girl on my planet would. "Yeah, you sound just like the girls back home."
She smiled at me. "See, this isn't so hard. You're already done with two of the questions."
I laughed a bit and wrote down the answer after showing my friends how to write this one.
"Okay, third question. Do I smell like a girl on your planet?"
This one was almost as easy as the sight question was. "No, all of the ponies around here each smell differently. It's kinda like if every one of them is wearing a different perfume."
She gave my words some thought for a few moments. "That's interesting that you would say that Django. I can't tell the difference between anypony by their scent."
"Hmm, weird... But I have another answer now." I then wrote down said answer and showed my friends- I really need to teach them the alphabet here- what to write. I looked up from Lewis's paper and saw Cheerilee take in a deep breath, and slowly let it out, like she was getting ready for something.
"Okay Django, fourth question. Do I... feel, the same as girls on your planet?"
I sat in my extremely undersized chair for a second just thinking about what she had just asked.
Does she really expect us to walk up there and feel her?
My answer came when she spoke again. "Django, you can come up here and feel me if you need to."
My jaw dropped. "There's no way you can be serious."
She smiled at me like she just had not asked a student to walk up to her and feel all over her. "Django, I know what you're thinking, and I can tell you now not to worry. It's just a school assignment."
I did not feel very comfortable doing this, but it was just something for school, so I decided that it would not hurt anything. I got out of the tiny chair I was sitting in and walked over to her. She smiled up at me as I stood in front of her, and I started to use my hands to find the answer to the question. It was weird and awkward, and I kept wishing that I had said no to this extra-credit thing, but it was too late now. I traced my fingers down her neck and along her back, following the spine. I circled back and went over her shoulders and put one hand on each foreleg. I then slid my hands back up and went back up her neck and through her mane, then finished by giving her muzzle a little rub.
When I took my hands away from her she look slightly disappointed, but quickly wiped the look off of her face. "Well?" she said slowly. "Does that answer the question?"
"Uh, y- yeah, I guess it does," I stammered out. I then walked back to the small desk and ignored the looks I was getting from my friends and wrote down the answer to the fourth question.
I had an idea of what it was that she was going to say next, and I was praying to everything that I believed in that I was wrong.
"Okay, now for the last question," Cheerilee said. "Do I taste like the girls on your planet?"
God damn it!
I was hoping against hope that she would not ask that, but it looks like I was in the shallow end of the pool when it comes to luck. I did not want to do this, I could not do this, and I was determined not to go along with Cheerilee's game any longer. "Cheerilee, there's no way I can find that out, so four out of five will have to do."
Her expression went from cheery to something a bit more... bedroom style. "Yes there is Django, and you and your friends can find out all of the ways that I'm different." She then walked right up to the tiny pony sized desk that I was sitting in and placed her front hooves on the top of the desk and got right in my face.
"Uh, what the fuck's goin' on?" I heard Lewis ask.
I did not take my eyes away from Cheerilee as I answered him. "She's asked us the sight, sound, smell, and feel questions, now she wants me to answer the taste question."
"But doesn't that mean you gotta taste her?" T-boy asked.
I did not answer his question, instead I gave him a command. "You three get outta here. Get back to the library and wait for me to get there. If I don't get back by night, tell Twilight that I'm in trouble and need help."
"How is she gonna understand us?" Lewis asked.
"Don't worry, she's plenty capable of figuring out a way to understand you." I looked over at them with a hard stare. "Now get going damn it!"
They all got up quickly and ran out of the school house's doorway before Cheerilee could stop them. She immediately got a panicked look on her face and pulled away from me. "Where are they going Django?!"
I got up slowly from the tiny desk I was sitting in. "They're going to the library Cheerilee," I said in a calm tone.
She got even more panicked when I told her that. "Why are they going there? Did you tell them to get Twilight to come and get you?!"
I took slow steps over to where she was and stood there, looking down at her. "No, I just told them to be worried if I don't come back by nightfall."
She looked at me, and I could see that she was extremely confused, but I did not think any less of her for it. "Why would you tell them to leave, but not tell them to tell anypony what's going on here?"
I went down on one knee so that I was closer to eye level with her and I smiled wickedly. "Because I don't like to share," I said with a growl in my voice.
Her eyes grew huge as understanding dawned on her, and then she gained a cocky smile. "Well, if you didn't want to share, you could have just said so and I would have arranged a private tutoring session."
My smile grew wider and I opened my mouth to say the thing I had always wanted to say in a situation like this. "Miss Cheerilee, I didn't do my homework, am I in trouble?" I asked innocently.
She put on a predator's smile and answered. "Django, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to punish you for that."
I could not help but be happy for myself for finding myself in this situation. I knew that I should not be doing it. But what can I say? my current situation is every boy's fantasy, and I was about to make it a reality.
End Chapter: Chapter Fifteen: Back To School