Chapter 7:
The Abandoned Destiny
“Of course my phone charger stops working the weekend everything goes to hell.” Shmangie rubbed the bridge of her nose. “My BFF gets stranded in the middle of the city, my senior salesperson up and quits on me out of the blue, and now my brother and his friends discover that they’re actually the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Just… rage. So much rage.”
Shmangie’s house was a spacious, two-story home with wooden floors and cream-colored walls. The furniture was mostly leather, and almost everything looked either new or barely used. Various black and white-portraits hung on the walls that Shmangie had made herself, with two of them being of me and another a group portrait of the girls and I. A sense of emptiness lingered in the air along with the smell of fresh paint, and Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Babs, and I now sat together on a cushy couch while watching Shmangie, who was pacing back and forth as I finished recounting everything that’d happened in the last thirty-six hours.
“It could’ve been worse,” Scootaloo said. We’d all continued shrinking, and were now around three feet tall. Our clothes, save for mine, lay in a pile in front of the couch, and Scoots now bent down to pull a cigarette out of her jeans. “We could’ve discovered that we’ve each been injected with the cells of a dead alien that landed on Earth millions of years ago, and is now slowly taking over our minds in an effort to revive itself.”
Shmangie looked over at Scootaloo with a measured stare. In a fluid motion, she walked over and snatched the cigarette away.
“Ponies don’t smoke,” she said.
Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “HEY! I—”
Shmangie crushed the cigarette in her hand. She held out the other, and repeated herself with terrifying, utter finality.
“Ponies. Don’t. Smoke.”
Scootaloo gulped. She hunched down and nodded while handing over the pack. “T-That’s right. They d-don’t.”
I snickered. I’d mentioned before that Shmangie babysat all of us all the time when we were younger. What I didn’t mention was the unspoken authority that still lingered, even now.
Shmangie tossed the cigarettes into a wastepaper bin. She closed her eyes, collected her thoughts, then took a deep breath and addressed us all in a calm, patient voice.
“You did the right thing in coming to me for help. God only knows the temptation must’ve been strong to give in to panic and hide away somewhere, so thank you for not doing that. I want you all to know that regardless of what you look like, or who you once were, you’re still the same mischievous munchkins I used to play video games with. I’ll make sure your families know that come hell or high water.”
There was a collective sigh of relief. It was one thing to assure yourself that what you’re doing is right, but having somepony you looked up to agree with you is quite another.
“Second.” Shmangie met my eyes. “You’re not going on TV. I get that you want to find the other ponies, but you’ll do more harm than good by hijacking a live broadcast. Everyone would see you, kiddo, everyone. Both good and bad, ponies and non-ponies, you’ll be the talk of the entire world.”
I held back the urge to shudder and straightened up. “That’s kinda the point. Going on TV is the bargaining chip we’ll need when we start talking with the government.”
Shmangie shook her head. “You don’t need to go that far yet. Make a website on the Internet. Post on forums or Tumblr or Reddit or Facebook. Make a movie and post it on Youtube! You’ll be able to maintain your anonymity that way, and—”
“—we’ll only attract creepers, doubters, flamers, and trolls.” I idly swung my legs back and forth. “We need something concrete. Something nopony can doubt! The anonymity of the Internet is only going to work against us in that regard. We gotta do something extreme.”
“We don’t like it either, Angie,” Apple Bloom said. She gestured to herself and the others. “But we don’t see any other way. We were hopin’ we could stay in your house while we figure the best way to go about it. Try to minimize the collateral, if ya get me.”
Shmangie stopped in her tracks. She slowly turned to Apple Bloom, and stared at her for several seconds with an unreadable expression.
Apple Bloom shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, what?”
“You…” Shmangie twitched. “Have... the accent.”
Apple Bloom blushed and put a hand behind her head. “Heh, yeah. I got it back when Sweet—IEEEEE!”
Shmangie pounced on Apple Bloom and began hugging the ever-living daylights out of her.
“THAT'S SO FREAKING CUUUUUUUTE!" she squealed.
The three of us burst out laughing. In all honesty, I was surprised Shmangie had lasted as long as she had. My guess was that the crisis portion of all this had suppressed her inner pegasister, and so she’d shifted into ‘manager mode.’ The scales could only be imbalanced for so long, though, even if Shmangie dealt with insane, stressful situations for a living. Heck, this wasn’t even the worst she’d seen, if some of the stories she’d told me were to be believed.
“I can’t believe this is happening!” Shmangie sang as she spun in circles with Apple Bloom. “I can’t believe ponies are real! I can’t believe Equestria is real! I mean it sucks that Discord banished you, but I can’t get over that I babysat the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Fluttershy has got nothing on me! My own bro—sister, sorry, is Sweetie Belle! Oh my God, that means I’m—”
Shmangie gasped. She dropped Apple Bloom on the ground, who swayed back and forth while her eyes did loop-de-loops. Shmangie looked over at me with a devious grin.
I gulped.
Shmangie walked over to me. Scootaloo and Babs paled and scrambled out of the way. I found myself alone in my sister’s shadow as she stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“Say it,” she commanded.
I had a moment of confusion, but then my stomach dropped out. I tried not to show it and put on my best innocent look.
“Say what?”
Shmangie didn’t buy it for a second. “Nuh-uh. Finally, we can put this argument to rest! Admit the truth at long last!”
I considered maintaining the argument just for the sake of arguing. Unfortunately, I didn’t see a way out this time. She had me pegged, we both knew it, and I couldn’t have denied it for much longer, anyways.
With great reluctance, I swallowed my pride, hung my head, and muttered out my defeat.
“Rarity is best pony.”
“YES!” Shmangie crowed and cackled like a maniac. “Victory is mine! Your hair... er, mane, is mine to do with as I will!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, trying not to smile myself. “Enjoy your moment in the sun. I’ll turn the tables soon enough.”
My plan was foolproof. First, I’d let her live out every brony and little girl’s dream. Then, once she’d raised my adorable factor to astronomical levels, I’d unleash all my cuteness and put her in a diabetic coma. Oh yes, my pride wouldn’t stay wounded for long. All I had to do was bide my time, and sweet vengeance would be mine. I wasn’t looking forward to spending quality time with my sister, nor did I want to engage in girl talk or see how I looked in various braids.
Nope. Not at all.
“Sorry to cut your sibling rivalry short,” Babs said as she helped Apple Bloom to her feet. “But we should get back on topic.”
“Nah, don’t bail Sweetie out,” Scootaloo said with a wry smirk. “I wanna see her get glomped next.”
“Note to self,” Apple Bloom muttered raspily. “Keep mouth shut around bronies and pegasisters.”
Shmangie winced. “Sorry, Mikey. I couldn’t resist.”
“It’s all right,” Apple Bloom said. She then turned to me. “I’m startin’ to think we need a different plan, Sweetie.”
“What?” I said. “Why?”
Apple Bloom motioned to Shmangie. “What she just did is piddles compared to what a mob of fans’ll do. Even if we do turn ourselves in to the feds or whatever right after goin’ on TV, are they gonna be able to protect us?”
I rolled my eyes. “Unless they have anti-riot gear and weaponry for some other reason. That won’t happen if we plan things, though.”
“But what about other ponies?” Apple Bloom sat down on the floor. “We could start a worldwide hunt if we just up’n say the others could be anywhere and we’re tryin’ to find ‘em. Should we really be blowin’ the lid off all this so soon?”
I squared my shoulders. “The whole point of this is so we can choose how ponies get introduced to the world. We can start things on the right foot by taking the initiative, and then we can direct that hunt to find somepony before it’s too late! It’s easy to just want to hide away like Shmangie said. What if a pony is alone, does just that, then they wind up getting hurt or sick?”
“You can’t only think of the good things and then act like you know what’s right,” Babs cut in. “Hiding might very well be the best thing for some ponies to do! Did you ever stop to think that other governments may not be excited to hear that they have aliens dwelling within their own borders?”
I flattened my ears. Why was Babs always such a downer? I understood she was still opposed to my idea, but jumping to the worst possible outcomes all the time created nothing but indecision and paranoia. I understood she was scared. We all were, but I wasn’t going to let my fear control me, and I didn’t want hers to control her.
“I don’t hear you coming up with any better ideas,” I snapped. “All I hear you doing is listing off all the reasons for why mine will only make things worse!”
“Because it will!” Babs folded her arms. “We’ve barely come up with any ideas at all on what to do, and you wanna gamble our futures on something we can’t go back on without considering the repercussions!”
“Tell me, then!” I mockingly waved a hand at her. “What should we do, Babs? How can we find our friends and family when the majority of them are trying to hide?”
“Duh! We do what Angie’s saying!” Babs leaned on the coffee table. “How about we try some less extreme things first instead of banking everything on a crazy gambit? We don’t have anything to lose by posting on the Internet!”
“Neither does anypony else,” Scootaloo drawled. “Which is why you can find everything from legitimate info to brain bleach. Our claims are gonna be tame in comparison to half the shit that comes up in a Google search. Not only that, but there’s also the sheer size of the ‘teh Interwebz.’ A couple hundred forum posts and a few Youtube vids is just gonna be lost in the chaos.”
“Uh, girls?” Shmangie said.
“It’s still safer than what you two want to do.” Babs pointed an accusing finger at me and Scootaloo. “Our actions could decide whether a friend, neighbor, a family member lives or dies! Think about that for a second!”
I felt my frustrations rise. “You think I haven’t?! Here’s a brutal truth for you: anypony unfortunate enough to be in a country that terrorizes its own civilians never stood much of a chance to begin with. Heck, they may have already died years ago! The longer we go without finding the others, the greater chance there is somepony will never get home!”
Did I want it to be true? Of course not. Was it realistic? Very much so. The world was huge, and it was delusional to think that every single pony had been deposited in a first-world country. It was horrible, but we needed to accept the likelihood that at least one pony was already buried here. I wanted to find as many as soon as we could so that number stayed low.
Babs glared at me, but Apple Bloom stepped in to continue. “That’s exactly why we can’t just rush into this, sugarcube. We need to try some smaller things first, test the waters and see how people react. We won’t be able to try anything else after we go on TV, so we might as well try some smaller things before we jump to the big finale.”
“We. Have. No. Time!” I viciously pointed to a clock on the wall. “What neither of you seem to get is that putting a message out on the Internet is like casting a few lines into the ocean and expecting to catch a few specific fish! Maybe if you’d come to college with me like I literally begged you to, you’d understand that!”
“Girls!“ Shmangie said again.
“Oh, heeeeeeere we go!” Babs rolled her eyes and raised her hands in the air. “I was wondering when you were gonna bring this up. Every single damn time you come home, all you do is harp on us for not coming with you on your useless descent into eternal debt!”
“I do not!” I said hotly. “And don’t call it useless! It would’ve let me do more with my life than all of you combined before all this happened!”
“Excuse us for not needing a pricey piece of paper to know what to do with our lives!” Scootaloo’s normal cocky grin turned into a hard scowl. “Don’t turn this into one of your pathetic, cardboard speeches on the benefits of college. You didn’t listen when we told you we wouldn’t make it through. You just wanted us to come with so you wouldn’t be lonely!”
“Because I was!” I snarled and bared my teeth. “Every day I walked alone to class, every meal I ate alone, every freaking time I saw other groups of friends talking, laughing, enjoying themselves, all I could think about was the three of you, and how you weren’t there with me! I missed you! I wanted you all to succeed alongside me! Realizing that you’d be doing nothing but farming and retail jobs for the rest of your lives hurt me! A LOT!”
“When are you gonna open up those damn ears of yours and start listenin’ to the things we tell ya?” Apple Bloom’s voice wasn’t raised, but her irritation was still evident. “Neither people nor ponies got the same definition when it comes to happiness. Money ain’t somethin’ the three of us hold in high regard, and we don’t gotta go nowhere or learn new things to do things we wanna do. We woulda been miserable, Sweetie, and you’da been miserable too watchin’ us fail and drop out.”
“You wouldn’t have failed!” I insisted. “The three of you are smart, whether you want to admit it or not! You just didn’t want to go because you were afraid of taking a risk, just like now!”
“And you never listened because you’re too selfish, just like now!” Babs retorted.
“¡NIÑOS!”
My hair stood on end. I reluctantly turned and saw Shmangie wearing a very familiar frown. She looked down on the four of us through icy slits, and we all immediately fell silent and became very interested in the floor.
“I’m beginning to wonder if changing back into fillies is affecting your maturity.” Shmangie clucked her tongue. “Then again, the four of you never saw eye-to-eye on this in the first place, so maybe you just like opening up old wounds. Shmage, going to college isn’t the end-all, be-all path. I never saw much point in it, either, and I think you’ll agree I’m getting by just fine.”
I tried to hide my wince as my pride took another big blow. I felt a not-so-subtle nudge in the small of my back as Scootaloo poked me with her elbow.
“But.” Shmangie focused on the others. “You all know, or at least should know, that Shmage loves you like family. Families want each other to be happy, and he’s—she’s seen and experienced things you haven’t. How many times do you think she saw or did something in college, and thought at least one of you would’ve enjoyed it?”
Shmangie’s eyes softened, and she knelt down to be at eye-level with us. “You can’t afford to be at each other’s throats. You’ve been through a lot already, but you’ve got a lot more ahead of you before things finally settle down. It’s going to be hard enough as it is. Don’t make it any worse than it has to be.”
I pursed my lips. Leave it to Shmangie to hammer a point home without losing sight of the big picture. A part of me was irked that she’d remained neutral, but that would’ve made her a hypocrite. Deep down, I knew all the things that she and Apple Bloom were saying were true, but I was overriding their opinions with mine. They thought they knew what they wanted out of life because they hadn’t been exposed to very much. They were content with what they had going in our hometown because it was all they knew. I was basically saying I knew better than them, and if they’d just give me a chance to prove it to them, they’d see that I was right.
Too bad they were just as stubborn as me in that regard. Or who knows? Maybe that was a good thing.
“I think you could use some time apart,” Shmangie said after no rebuttal or reply came from any of us. “Shmage, come with me. The rest of you can make yourselves at home.”
Scootaloo perked up. “Does that include the fridge?”
Shmangie’s lips twitched. “Stay away from my wine, Little Miss Minor.”
“Deal!” Scootaloo zipped away in an orange blur. “I’m so hungry I could e—EEEAAAAAHH!”
It was then we discovered that running on smooth, polished surfaces like wooden floors doesn’t work well with hooves. Scootaloo slipped flat onto her face, and her momentum carried her all the way out to the far wall where she landed with a CRASH!
Shmangie facepalmed. “Es décimo grado todo de nuevo…”
“Ponis y todos los,” I agreed.
“I’m okay!” Scootaloo said.
“Come on, Babs.” Apple Bloom went over to our pile of clothes and pulled her tent-like shirt back on. “Let’s go get the rest of the stuff outta the car before we’re back on all fours.”
“Was wondering why my back was starting to hurt,” Babs muttered as she followed.
I glanced down at my own legs and noticed that my coat had started to spread up from my hooves. It was thick, incredibly soft, and pure white like I remembered. I also noticed that my hips had taken on an equine shape, and a dull, seeping pain was in the small of my back.
Shmangie noticed my grimace. “Want me to carry you?”
I looked at her with deadpan. “You just want an excuse to hold me.”
Shmangie giggled. “Maaaaaaayyyybe.”
I sighed and held out my arms. I figured I may as well let her get it out of her system in controlled doses rather than have her go into fangirl-mode again. Besides, I wasn't entirely opposed. It’d been a hard couple of days.
Shmangie came over and picked me up with ease. She hesitated, then bounced me up and down a few times with a confused look on her face.
“Wow,” she said. “You’re a lot lighter than Mikey!”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom shouted.
Shmangie held back a laugh and balanced me on her hip. “I didn’t mean it like that! Are earth ponies supposed to be heavier than unicorns?”
I nodded. “Their magic makes their bodies denser. That, and Apple Bloom’s always had more muscle from doing chores at Sweet Apple Acres every day.”
Apple Bloom’s eyes went huge. “You sayin’ I mighta got my Geomancy back?!”
Babs’ mouth formed into an ‘o’, and she did a happy little dance in place. “Ooh, ooh! I could have, too!”
“Geomancy?” Angie asked.
“Official name for earth pony magic,” I whispered. “Applebucking, crop growing, horticulture, rock farming, and a few other things. Unicorn magic is called Arcana, and pegasus magic is Tempulari.”
“Really?” Shmangie whispered back. “Why wasn’t that ever in the show?”
I shrugged. “I’m not even sure how the show came to be in the first place.”
“We need to do a test!” Apple Bloom said in an excited voice. “Quick, Angie! Do you have any trees in your backyard?”
Shmangie blinked. “A few, yes, but they’re not apple trees—”
“Don’t matter!” Apple Bloom was already gone, skidding and narrowly avoiding crashing into walls as she made her way to the back porch. Babs followed close behind.
“Wait!” I called after them. “Somepony might see you!”
“It’s fine,” Shmangie said. “It’s the middle of the day and the backyard is completely fenced in. Besides, they’ll just be mistaken for a couple of kids in costumes like you were at the club. I still can’t believe you pulled the language card, by the way.”
I chuckled. “Hey, sometimes you gotta play the hand you’re dealt.”
Shmangie took me down the hallway and into her room. It was decorated like the rest of the house, but there were several things I immediately recognized as mementos or things with sentimental value. A faded poster from one of the Batman animated movies. A worn bookshelf filled with various books and graphic novels. A desk covered with various pencils and drawing paper, and my personal favorite, a medium-sized Rarity plushie I’d gotten her for Christmas one year.
Shmangie set me down on the queen-sized bed and shut the door. She took off her sapphire necklace and outer jacket, then sat down at the desk chair and gave me a concerned look.
“How you holding up?”
I made a tired noise and fell back on the bed. “My mind’s a pile of blegh, my body’s changing by the minute, and I’m so overwhelmed by everything I’ve lost that I can’t decide if I wanna scream, cry, or break something.”
“You don’t look that bad,” Shmangie said. “Well, considering what you could look like, anyway. It just looks like your human parts have been traded for pony ones. Imagine what it’d be like if your entire body was all slowly shifting at once.”
I tried very hard not to imagine that. Honestly, I did. I failed miserably, but let it be known that an effort was made. I now knew what was going to be haunting my nightmares when Discord wasn’t hijacking them.
“Thanks for that,” I groaned as I felt my stomach turn. “I needed something to distract me from thinking about my past life.”
“Sorry,” Shmangie said. “How much do you remember? Did everything from the show actually happen?”
“Mostly.” I compared my memories to what I recalled of the show. “They got a few things wrong here, exaggerated a few others there, but it was dead-on for the most part.”
“What did they get wrong?” Shmangie crossed her legs. “Give me an example.”
“Nothing huge.” I sucked on my teeth. “The battle with the buffalo at Appleoosa wasn’t actually fought with pies, the Flim-Flams were cousins, not brothers, and everypony knew that Twilight and Shining Armor were related long before he got married to Cadance.”
Shmangie motioned to the plushie. “What about you and Rarity? What was the age difference? How often did you visit her?”
I stared at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. “She was twenty, I was eight. I was an unexpected addition to the family, but they loved me just the same. Mom and Dad had to work late a lot, but it wasn’t an issue until Rarity moved out. I started visiting her about once a week then, although sometimes it was more than that.”
“What was she like?” Shmangie held the doll up to her eyes. “Around you, I mean. Obviously I’ve an idea of who she was around her friends, but the way we act with family is different.”
I closed my eyes, and hundreds more memories washed around me like I was a rock in a stream. The times Rarity was angry. The times she was sad. Her successes. Her failures. Her flaws. Her strengths. Her quirks. Her ideals. Her feelings towards our parents. The sacrifices she made to be an entrepreneur. Her tendency to always give more than she received. Her somewhat misguided ideals about true love. Her selfless soul. Her fake accent. Her loving smile. I saw everything, not just the mask she put on when she was in front of the world. I was the stage hand who knew what went on behind the curtain, and while I had the complete picture, there were certain unspoken rules that came with it.
I sat up and met Shmangie’s eyes. I chewed on my lip for a few seconds, then asked a question of my own.
“If Rarity were to ask me the same question about you, how would you want me to answer it?”
Shmangie opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She looked at the plushie in her hands and turned it over several times without saying anything. Finally, she adjusted her hair and put it back on the shelf.
“I suppose that wasn’t a fair question. I’m sorry, kiddo, I didn’t mean to divide your loyalties or anything. You know I’ve always related to her the most, so I was just curious if—”
I held up a hand. “I know. I don’t blame you for it, but it’ll be better if you make those judgments for yourself when you meet her. You’re technically family now too, after all.”
Shmangie laughed nervously. “Always wished I’d had an older sister.”
I gave her a sly look. “Technically, I’m your older sister. You just got two in the same day.”
Shmangie squinted at me. “Past life, shmast life. I have older sibling powers over you and you know it.”
I laughed. I almost felt relieved to see another person being nervous to meet Rarity, but I reminded myself that Shmangie didn’t feel nervous for the same reasons. She’d be meeting an idol, I’d be meeting a long-lost family member who’d put herself in harm’s way to save me. Not only that, there was a good chance I’d then have to choose between the two of them, and I still didn’t think I could do that. I supposed I could take the selfish way out and just not restore Rarity’s memories. I’d still have mine, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I knew she wasn’t suffering like I was. Although, if either she or Shmangie ever found out I’d made that kind of decision without them, I’d have nine levels of Tartarus to pay.
Double big sister rage… I’d rather take on Discord than face that.
“There’s a problem, though.” I tapped my horn. “You remember me telling you all about the curse and how we broke it, right? As of right now, Rarity is nothing more than a human turning into a pony. Discord’s already warned me not to free anypony else, and if I go against him...”
Shmangie exhaled out her nose. Several emotions flashed across her face in the span of a few seconds before finally settling on a contemplative frown. She reached over for her sketchpad, and began drawing symbols on one side.
“Do you think the Mane Six can beat him without their pony memories?” Shmangie asked.
I lifted a pillow with my magic. “No idea. It’d depend on the kind of personalities they have now. The Elements of Harmony might not even accept them anymore—assuming that the Elements are even still around, that is.”
“Mmm, I’ll bet Discord’s done something to them by now.” Shmangie twirled her pencil in her fingers. “Celestia and Luna are probably in the same boat, so they’re out. I doubt there’s much of a resistance in Equestria, either... hate to say it, Shmage, but there isn’t much point in restoring anyone’s memory until Discord’s gone. Even if you do somehow find the other banished ponies and find a way back to Equestria, all you’d be doing is painting a big target over our heads—Rarity’s, too. Now, if said pony had knowledge or experience that’d be a help in the fight or in getting you and the other ponies back to Equestria, that might be worth the risk. Although admittedly, that’s a pretty short list.”
I moved the pillow up and down in my telekinesis. Shmangie’s points were all valid, but they weren’t easy to hear. I thought I had something that could be helpful, but it was too specific and risky to use haphazardly. The risk part wouldn’t bother me so much if it was just me that Discord had threatened, but he’d gone for my family instead, and that made me think twice. I just wanted to help, to be useful and make a difference for a change! Was that so much to ask? But no, when I tried to take some initiative, all I got were ponies like Babs who just shot me down all the time.
“We’re not going to find anyone on the Internet, you know.” I floated the pillow over to her. “All that’s going to happen is that the clock is going to tick away. Even if a real pony miraculously does notice and contact us, what then? How do we meet up with them? Where? Who pays for the transportation? What kind of transportation do we use? And all through this, we’re trying to keep a low profile and hope we don’t run into anypony malicious? It’s just not realistic!”
“None of this is very realistic to begin with.” Shmangie poked the floating pillow for emphasis. “Your chances suck, no matter how you look at it. I don’t get why you’re being so gung-ho about going on TV in the first place when it’s clear the others don’t want to.”
“They don’t know what they want,” I spat. “All they ever want to do is play it safe and not take any risks! They’d rather miss out on a world of opportunities, just like I did when I—”
I stopped dead. My heart skipped a beat and my jaw went slack. I hadn’t even realized it until now, but the longer I thought about it, the more things clicked into place.
“No…”
Shmangie stopped drawing and looked up. “What’s wrong?”
I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to divert my train of thought, but it was locked into place and barrelling away at full steam. My breathing became shallow as I glanced down at my thigh.
Shmangie came over to me. “Shmage! What is it?!”
The color had drained from my face. I felt dizzy and ill. I hadn’t known at the time! I thought I was doing the right thing! All I saw down that path was a road of failure and heartache! I didn’t think my passion would be enough, and so I’d taken the safe path instead of fighting for my dreams! What had I done? What did it say about me? All this time I’d—
“Magellan Guillermo Raimundo!”
That did it. I snapped out of my panic and saw that Shmangie was sitting next to me. She wore a stern look that barely veiled the concern in her eyes.
“Tell me,” she said.
My throat and chest felt tight. I gritted my teeth and tried to stop what was coming, but it was like trying to plug a dam with silly putty. The tears came, and when they did, I gave up more than one fight. I stood up on the bed, shucked my clothes off, and revealed my mistake to Shmangie.
“That’s not a computer,” I said, motioning to my cutie mark.
It took her a second to understand, but when she did, she gasped and took my hand in hers.
“Oh, kiddo,” she said with a gentle squeeze.
“I didn’t know!” I said in a shrill voice. “I just didn’t think I’d make it as a singer! There was too much favoritism and I didn’t want to be a starving artist!”
“The human world is different from Equestria,” Shmangie said. “You don’t know that your destiny there would be the same as here. The magic of cutie marks might not even carry over!”
“Why wouldn’t it?” I gestured to the fallen pillow. “Every other kind of magic has! All this time I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. How was I supposed to know destiny is real?!”
“Listen to me.” Shmangie tugged on my hand. “That you went to college and got a job in something else proves that cutie marks aren’t the final say! Just because you have a singing cutie mark doesn’t mean you can’t do anything else!”
“No, it just means I won’t ever be happy doing anything else!” I fell to my knees. “The others knew that on some level, they must have! That’s why they never left home! Apple Bloom was saving up to buy her own farm. Babs was watching the real estate market! Scootaloo was coaching little league! All of them were doing what they were originally going to do in their spare time, I’m the only one who completely split away from my calling and made myself miserable because I’m a spineless coward!”
“You’re not a coward!” Shmangie said in a raised voice. “You didn’t even make a mistake! You made a choice, plain and simple, and it doesn’t even count because you were never meant to be human in the first place!”
“Who’s to say it wouldn’t have happened in Equestria?” I demanded. “Who’s to say I won’t do something like this again?! I abandoned my destiny, Shmangie! I abandoned my friends! I rejected the core things that make me who I am! I—”
SMACK!
I recoiled as a stinging pain struck my cheek. I put a hand to my face as I looked at Shmangie in shock.
“What am I to you?” Shmangie hissed. Her hazel eyes were aflame with reproach.
I stammered for a few seconds before managing to reply in a hurt voice.
“Y-you’re my sister…”
“I’m your family,” Shmangie snapped. “Is family not important to you?”
I was taken aback. “O-of course it is! It’s everything to me!”
“Then why isn’t it one of those ‘core things'?”
I didn’t have a reply to that. It was a slip of the tongue in a time of duress, but that slip was the equivalent of what Shmangie had just done to me. The apology was clear on my face, though, so she didn’t harp on it any more than that.
“Get this through your head, right now.” Shmangie’s tone was one that brooked no argument. “It’s pointless to endlessly dwell on mistakes and what-ifs. Your decision to play it safe and not take a risk with singing was based off of what you knew at the time and the outcomes you were able to identify. You thought you were doing the right thing, just like everyone else, and that’s nothing to beat yourself up over. You wouldn’t be the person you are now if you hadn’t done what you did, which is what we all forget when we look back on the past with regrets.”
I closed my eyes and sniffled. I was hearing what she was saying, but it was hard to take in. I’d been feeling subconsciously guilty about giving up singing for almost ten years, and I’d taken several risks as an effort to try and make up for it. It was probably even why going on TV felt like the right thing to do.
“Life is all about making decisions,” Shmangie continued. “There are good ones and bad ones, but the most important thing is that you make them, period. It’s hard to do, and it can be even harder to live with them, but the trick is knowing when it’s time to take a risk, and time to play it safe. That kind of knowledge only comes with experience, and even then the best of us mess things up. But the more information you have, the better chance you’ll be all right.”
I looked up at her through watery eyes. “I don’t want to be wrong again. I was too scared to do what I knew was what right once, and I’ve been paying for it. I don’t want others to have to suffer, too.”
“The reverse could just as easily happen.” Shmangie looked away. “And believe me, that feeling is just as unpleasant. You do have time right now, Shmage. The four of you are safe here with me, so there’s no sense in barging into this without exploring other options. With your help, we stand a better chance at finding the other ponies online, and if we keep our eyes and ears open, we can decide what the next best move is.”
And just like that, my resolve was broken. I still wasn’t enthusiastic about the Internet thing, but I was at least willing to give it a shot. I knew how to make websites, I could program in three languages, and I was certainly no stranger to forum surfing. I knew where the best places were to make posts were, and my minor in communications wouldn’t hurt for doing some efficient advertising. It’d be work, yeah, but I was confident I could do it after I got some practice with telekinetically using a mouse and keyboard.
Speaking of which, I looked at my hands and noticed that the fingernail on my middle finger was getting long, just like my middle toes had. My coat was now past my knees, and as I rubbed my face, I could tell my jaw was starting to stretch out. I was about eighty-percent pony at this point, and I figured the transformation would be complete by tonight at the latest.
“I’m not going to wait forever,” I said. “I’m not giving up on the TV idea, either. I’ll help out with the Internet thing, but I’m also gonna be continuing my plans on the side. I just won’t act on them.”
Shmangie nodded. “I think the others will agree to that. Never hurts to have a plan B.” She handed me a tissue. “Sorry about hitting you.”
I took it and scooted over so I could lean into her. “I’m sorry for implying you didn’t mean anything to me.”
Shmangie put an arm around me and kissed my brow. “Hooray for bonding.”
“Yaaaay."
CRUNCH
Shmangie and I jumped. The sound had come from behind us, or more accurately, from beyond the window and the backyard. We exchanged glances for a fraction of a second, then both turned and looked out the window.
Apple Bloom and Babs were standing beside a forty-foot tall White Pine with a trunk four feet in diameter. They were on all fours with their backs to the tree, and a veritable hail of pine needles and cones was falling around them. Shmangie and I watched with horrified curiosity as they squee’d and bucked the tree again at the same time.
CRUNCH
The entire tree shook, and the fall of needles and cones doubled. They now began laughing and dancing around each other like kids on Christmas morning.
“Oy!”
Shmangie and I turned just in time to see the door open. Scootaloo stood in the hallway with a tub of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other. Her eyes were sparkling with joy as she shoveled another helping into her mouth.
“Lookie, lookie, lookie!” Scootaloo said. She turned and showed us her back, which was adorned with a pair of very real, fully grown-in wings. She gave them a flap, and I felt a gust of air blow through my mane and tail.
“I jusht got feeling in ‘em!” she said around the spoon. “Angie, do you have any free weightsh? I wanna shtart shtrength training!”
Shmangie groaned and rubbed her temples. “What have I gotten myself into?”
I giggled and nuzzled her side. “Nothing you can’t handle.”