//------------------------------// // The Love of Fluttershy: The Distorted Dream // Story: Fluttershy's Dark Sky // by Misty Shadow //------------------------------// Part 5: The Love of Fluttershy: The Distorted Dream (Part 1 of 2) The members of the Dark Sky and Spike stared at Luna in fear and shock. They did not know much about the enigmatic goddess of death, Prince Luna, but they were confident in their knowledge of the fact that she had never sworn before, even when she had the worst of headaches and migraines. “By the name of the brightest of stars,” said the angry entity, “what hast thou DONE?! Spike used his breath to teleport the cideo tape to a safe place and stepped forward. “I-I p-p-promise you P-Princess Luna, god of the accordance of death,” the frightened Spike tried to muster respectfully as he used his magic breath to teleport a cupcake from Fluttershy’s refrigerator to his hands. “The light lord Twilight has no malice in her intentions to establish her place as ruler of the world and embellish the world’s culture with violence and destruction. If you’re feeling weary or troubled right now, you can have this cupcake as compensation...” “Tis a lie!” Luna bellowed as she smacked the cupcake out of Spike’s hands. “Your “reverent overlord” Twilight hast become nothing more than a murderer and a flim-flam artist! And those “cupcakes” art nothing more than a lie to conceal the most undeniable of truths!” “Aaah!” Spike cried as he fell to the floor cowering. “Just kill me! I’ve lost my precious gem Rarity, and Twilight’s lost her mind! All she wants me around for now is to sweep the floors!” “No!” Luna shouted in refusal. “I am the god of death, it is against my nature to take the lives of my mortal subjects. In any case, it doesn’t matter, because thanks to Twilight, there’s no lives left to take!” “P-please listen Luna,” Fluttershy tried to reason, “I’m sorry that Twilight killed everypony and took over the world, but there’s a silver lining to this dark cloud in this dark sky. Every pony in Equestria is a resurrected immortal now, so you don’t have to do your job anymore!” “Thou witless whelp!” Luna remarked as she used her magic to make a black book entitled “Death Warrant” appear. “If everypony is truly eternal now, then why is our Death Warrant telling us that every pony in Equestria is dead!” Everyone stared at the book in disbelief as Luna flipped through the pages, showing that every page in the book was filled with everypony’s name. “How is this possible?!” Spike yelled. “No pony actually died! And if they did, they should’ve immediately gone to the moon or the sun!” “All the ponies who died genuinely died, Spike,” Luna said as she gave her morbid revelation. “The phoenix feather Fluttershy procured only allows its owner to return to earth in either the form of a ghoul or a zombie, it does not actually bring a pony back to life. Thou are all just a bunch of ghosts and goblins.” “NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!” Spike cried out like a dragon who had just lost a diamond of extreme rarity. “Twilight lied to me! The supernatural were real! She’s no god! She’s just a phony!” “But that means I really did kill all those ponies...” Fluttershy said as she began tearing up. “Why would Celestia lie to me like that?” “Hey, I did not come back as a ghost just to play in a band with a bunch of goblins!” Rainbow Dash protested. “I want my money, success, fame, and bronies back!” “We didn’t lose our jobs and became a group of performing emo bronies just so we could be ghouls!” the black pegasus shouted. “Yeah,” the orange pegasus chimed in, “we became this way so we could get closer to our favorite ponies!” “I don’t want to be a zombie!” Derpy said being the chorus singer in the band. “I don’t have any use for brains! What is Celestia thinking?” “Wise statement there, Derpy,” Luna replied as she pointed out the wisdom in the ditzy pony’s words. “Celestia is NOT thinking. No one in this Twilight-forsaken town is for that matter. Thine ponies all hast been deceived...by cupcakes.” “Huh? How could somebody have set us up using cupcakes?” the bombastic Rainbow Dash said in a memetic manner. “The cupcakes are not a lie or anything.” “Then take a look at this,” Luna said as Rainbow Dash looked closer at the inside of the book as if she was gazing into a portal. “Under each name, there’s also a brief description on how the pony whose name twas listed died. See for thyself.” Rainbow Dash was surprised to see that under each name of the recently deceased ponies (including Rarity and the Dark Sky members aside from Fluttershy who had died three months prior), there was a mention in the description about that pony dying while being drugged...on cupcakes. “We were all under the influence...of cupcakes?!” the perplexed Rainbow Dash shouted. “How can that be?” “Pray tell, thine flustered fluttering friends,” Luna continued, “hast thee found it more than a coincidence that every pony in this town can not bear to part with thine baked goods?” All the pegasi and Spike stopped to think about what earlier seemed like a simple bit of background information. “Come to think of it,” Fluttershy said as she reminisced on her first meeting with Princess Celestia. “when Celestia gave me that explanation on immortality, we were both eating...” “Before and after the others and I were killed by Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said as she recalled the first time she had died, “we were all given...” “When Celestia invited us to her castle to become members of her personal band,” said the trio of pegasi, “for refreshments, she offered us some...” “When I made the decision to close down my bankrupt pizza parlor a few hours ago because all good restaurants go out of business after running out of money,” Derpy said as she thought over what she hadn’t told anyone else, “I was eating...” “During my entire diet of cupcakes in Fluttershy’s basement, I was eating...” Spike said blatantly as obvious as a starship pilot. “That’s right,” said the correct Luna, “the cupcakes are in fact, a lie.” “But how could something as innocent as a baked good be packed with so much mind-distorting material?” the confused Fluttershy asked. “We just met thy friend Rarity on the moon.” Luna said as she described the past in an archaic manner. “If what she hath told me was true, for the past three months, your beloved friend Pinkie Pie hast been taking charge of making cupcakes at the bakery since her landlords, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, needed to spend more time taking care of thine children. Think carefully...” “She...got every pony in Equestria high on death?” said the lowly Fluttershy. “Oh Celestia no,” said Rainbow Dash upon putting it all together. “How could that sadist Pinkie Pie even conjure up something so malevolent?” “Why couldn’t you have just checked that Death Warrant sooner so we could have at least had a chance to avert all this mayhem and destruction?” the upset Spike said as he pointed out Luna’s lack of preclusion. “Shouldn’t the deaths of Celestia’s and your subjects intrigue you enough to check their status in that book on an ordinary basis?” “And shouldn’t us constantly checking when thou will die be a little insulting?” Luna replied to the would-be giant dragon. “As an all-powerful pony with godlike powers, we are very impartial and methodical. We only look in this book once a week to make a status report on all of the members of the Lunar Republic. Before Twilight lost thy mind, she taught us a few things about symmetry.” “Aaagh, curse you symmetry!” Spike shouted. “You ruined my life! I’m garbage! I want to die!” “Don’t beat yourself up, Spike,” Fluttershy said as she sympathized with the broken dragon, “no pony could be as unsymmetrical as Pinkie Pie.” “Speaking of which,” said the black pegasus, “where is that little party animal?” “A very thought provoking thing to think about,” responded the orange pegasus, “where is that product of a rainbow fantasy’s imagination?” “...” the ever-stoic gray pegasus added to the argument silently. “Good point!” the understanding Derpy complimented. “We need to find her and handle this the right way!” “Yeah,” the debate-loving Rainbow Dash agreed as she cracked her brass-knuckle like hooves, “let’s go out and beat up this murderous bully! That’ll teach her to get every pony in Equestria killed and high!” “Just don’t forget to do it Pinkie Pie style!” shouted Pinkie Pie as she stood in front of the representing Dark Sky with Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Princess Celestia lying at her knees. “Hmm?” said Luna as she noticed this unusual sight. “Wh-what’s going on here?” Fluttershy asked as the dumbfounded Dark Sky members paused, looking down at the mortified ponies at Pinkie’s feet. “My family,” said the kindred Applejack, “thanks to me, they’ll all never bloom...” “Pinkie...” the weary Twilight said as she looked up at the pink pony, stunned as if she had spent months lying in bed. “What do I know...” “Everything,” said Pinkie as she gave Twilight a grateful smile for teleporting her and the others at Fluttershy’s house, “you’re the all-powerful ruler of Equestria, remember? You’re probably tired though from all that hard work, you need to learn to take a rest every now and then. Now lie down, relax, and look up to the sky. With such an eventful life you three had, this can’t be your final song...” “Twilight,” the once vain ruler of the castle Celestia said as she looked over at her despondent student, “I’m sorry this had to be the night of your final symphony...” “I was just a miserable pile of secrets,” the ruined Twilight said as she used her magic powers to nullify Pinkie’s, Applejack’s, Celestia’s, and her immortality, “I wasn’t wrong...but I never learned...” With those words, Twilight, Celestia, and Applejack were gone. The last thing Twilight had done before she died was used her magic to transform their now lifeless bodies into stone. “Now...you wake up from your nap!” Pinkie Pie declared as she knew that her former friends were going to the moon. “Celestia...” said Luna in shock of her sister’s death. “Pinkie, what did you do to them?!” the concerned Fluttershy asked as her three friends laid on the ground, looking as if they could be asleep or dead. “They were just having some bad nightmares,” said the maternal Pinkie Pie with a voice as soft as sand, “so they decided that they wanted to wake up from the nap I had you all take!” “Nap? Did you say...nap?” the restless Rainbow Dash asked. “You mean...this has all been a dream?” said the dazed and confused black pegasus. “It would make perfect sense, seeing how nothing has made sense in this senseless dream.” said the insensible orange pegasus. “Did I forget to wake up this morning?” the forgetful Derpy asked. “You have forgotten nothing,” the bubbly Pinkie Pie replied to the elephant-colored derpwit, “you’ve just been having a vision in a real-life nightmare, you lucky incipient folk!” “No wonder this has been such an unpleasant experience,” said the trippy Spike. “We’ve all been high and dreaming all at the same time?” said the bewildered Luna. “Wow, this just gets better and better!” the unmoved Derpy yelled. “This has just moved from Freaky Town and gone straight into the Desolate Desert of Distorted Drug Delusions.” Rainbow Dash said, attempting to give an accurate analysis on this situation. “Can you at least TRY to explain this epitome of weirdness?!” “Easy!” Pinkie Pie said to the stoners. “You see, a few months ago, I was heartbroken because none of you killjoy ponies would make cupcakes with me! So I decided to look for the most awesome cupcake recipe in the whole entire universe so there would be no way you could refuse my delicious treats! I borrowed a copy of a cook book from Twilight’s library that showed me all these magical recipes, and one of them was used only one time to make the royal cupcakes for a royal party hosted by Princess Celestia herself fifteen years ago, where she showed great appreciation for a stone statue in the twilit evening, and had a wonderful beautiful cutsie-wootsie little baby! She had to give it away to keep up with her royal duties though.” “Aww, that was such a sweet story.” the touched Fluttershy said despite all the discord that surrounded her. “I know, but it’s really not important to the story,” said the easily side-tracked Pinkie. “Anyway, the book also told me that if someone were to eat the enchanted cupcakes, they would want to do nothing but make their most ambient ambitions and dreams come true, and they would make their most dark and unrealistic fantasies become their reality! Once I learned about that beautiful tale, there was no way I would let anything curtail me from making those cupcakes, even my own tail! Or the warning that the cupcakes made by the recipe were filled with potent neurological toxins that could cause memory loss, dizziness, loss of intelligence, lack of rational thinking, lack of empathy, lack of genuine concern for exigent matters and important details, and even diabetes. So I took the recipe and made a ton of cupcakes at Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s bakery! After I ate a few dozen myself to test-taste, I knew I had to show every pony in town the error of their ways, so I gave some to Princess Celestia and Luna themselves! They thought they were so good that a decree had to be passed that every pony be required to eat them, or be put under penalty of stoning!” “So...” Spike said trying to put this together, “this is partly Luna’s fault as well?!” “Forgive me for withholding my intellect...” the embarrassed Luna said. “That silly Twilight was completely unaware of my surprise,” said the bouncing pink pony in lieu of the harmony of Twilight’s dissonance. “It wasn’t just because of death that every pony was acting all weird and crazy. It was the fact that they had learned from their mistakes, and they just wanted to make cupcakes with me. They all wanted the world to be united as one giant delicious cupcake, even if meant they had to sacrifice their flesh and blood to do it! It all seemed like a crazy dream, a real dream that you’ve all gotten to envision and live, Dark Sky! You musicians have all had fun rowing your boats down this merry stream, because life is just a dream!” “Oh thank goodness,” said the relieved Fluttershy, thinking that this was all a dream. “That means I didn’t do anything wrong!” “You can’t do anything wrong!” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “Life is just a game! A game of fun!” “But I don’t like games,” said the disheartened Derpy, “they’re hard to understand.” “The game of life isn’t difficult to understand,” Pinkie reassured. “It may be to that killjoy Twilight, but not for me.” “Speaking of which,” said Rainbow Dash, “Twilight seemed pretty adamant about becoming the ultimate ruler of the world. How did she end up in a paltry position like that?” “I was getting a little tired of seeing Twilight and the others working so hard in their own dreams, so I gave her and the others the cure for the cupcakes to wake them up from the nightmare.” Pinkie Pie replied as she informed them of the proficient panacea. “There’s a cure too?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You don’t honestly think some pony would be careless enough to prepare a caustic recipe like that and not have a cure for the toxins in it?” the responsible Pinkie Pie accounted. “I made sure to prepare an antidote for the drugs in the cupcakes that was also in the recipe book! I baked it into a separate batch before I made the recipe just to be safe! You can never be too hasty when making cupcakes!” “But why did they die?” Fluttershy asked. “I know this is just an envisioning of a very realistic dream, but why would waking up from it make them want to surrender their immortality?” “I don’t know, but I’m curious,” said Pinkie as she pulled one of the curative rainbow frosted cupcakes out of her mane. “I’m going to eat this cupcake, and wake up from this dream for a short bit so I can find out!” “Oh, of course!” the stoned philosophical Derpy exclaimed. “You can do that because this is a dream, and there’s no such things as real-life consequences in a dream!” “That’s right!” Pinkie replied, being equally high up in the world. “Live the debauchery, because here I go!” The daring Pinkie Pie did just as she promised, and ate the cupcake as frosting came all over her face in an imaginative manner. As she was cured, she remembered who she was and recalled everything she had done after she had eaten the drugged cupcakes. “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Pinkie Pie bellowed as she was restored to her real self. “Wow, reality must be harsh in this dream.” the fantastic Rainbow Dash said in a wise tone as in a mere forty seconds upon regaining consciousness of real life, Pinkie Pie suffered a fatal heart attack from the mental shock. “I just wanted to...” Pinkie said as she collapsed to the ground and looked over at Twilight, “have fun, not bring a dawn of sorrow...” Pinkie shut her eyes, and having lost her immortality, she was now gone as well. “Wow, poor Pinkie.” Fluttershy said she flew over to Pinkie Pie, feeling sympathy for her. “Even for a dream, that was pretty brutal.” “What is the point of all this vileness?” Spike questioned. “At least she’s not in this dream anymore,” said Derpy as she and the others were still stoned and unaware of the fact that Pinkie Pie was just using figurative speech earlier. “At least we don’t have to beat her up.” “Hooray for peace!” the tranquil Rainbow Dash declared as she created a rainbow over the circle of ponies. “For great justice!” the black pegasus joined in. “Yeah,” said the orange pegasus as he walked over to Pinkie, “who would want to do justice to this lovable little character? She has beautiful eyes.” The orange pegasus opened Pinkie’s eye sockets, revealing that there were two words inscribed on the cartoonish pony’s eyes. From Pinkie’s perspective, the left eye read “YOU” and the right read “FAILED”. “Now that’s epic!” the legendary Derpy said with kind intentions. “Well I guess since this is all a dream,” said Luna as this legendary tale of failure appeared to be coming to an end, “I guess we can finally...” But just as the end was nearing, a hero appeared out of nowhere to end this tomfoolery. It was...Rarity!