//------------------------------// // Party Rock // Story: My Best Mare's Wedding // by Cupcake Chaos //------------------------------// Rainbow dash put the cake topper in her home for safekeeping despite Mama G’s wishes and called a search party together, but no matter how high or low they searched they couldn't find hide nor feather of Gilda or Pinkie around Ponyville. The group finally decided to call off the search when Rarity left to finish preparing for the festivities. In the end everypony decided it would be best to just go on with the show and have the bachelorette party despite missing the guests of honor. The group dispersed, leaving Dash wandering Ponyville alone, still thinking about the couple. Just as Rainbow dash finally arrived at the Carousel Boutique she noticed Applejack leaving with a sour look on her face. It was only midnight so the party was long from over, but the farm mare was slinking away none the less, with her eyes focused in a stare of both confusion and embarrassment. "Whats up AJ? Those ponies partyin too hardy for ya?" Dash laughed, waving her friend over. "Eh... it uh... not mah kinda shindig sugarcube..." She muttered, a deep red blush forming on her cheeks. "Take a gander fer yourself." Dash obliged and opened the door to the boutique. Rarity’s immaculately kept furniture had all been whisked away and replaced with a large stage in the middle of the room backed by lush curtains. Bright lights shone on both the stage and the small DJ booth set up nearby that pumped music through the area. There was a sort of makeshift bar to the right with Berry punch happily mixing drinks and Rarity serving them as a graceful hostess. Two ponies and a very waif leggy griffin were working around a pole on the stage, Lyra standing on her back legs danced around a pole while Bon bon and the griffon gyrated their hips suggestively at the crowd. Applejack, one of the only entirely straight ponies around wouldn’t really enjoy a show like this. But Dash couldn’t help but be amused by the remaining members of the audience. Twilight had a quill and pad in her lap and was furiously taking notes for some reason only occasionally looking up from her work. Ditzy doo was drooling a little one eye on Lyra and one on bon bon placidly enjoying the display while her friends Carrot top and Colgate whistled and tossed bits in the air. Despite all this spectacle the most surprising display was from the back of the room. Fluttershy was screaming and jumping in her seat barely able to contain herself while Princess Luna in a display of equal excitement, cupped her hooves around her mouth and shouted "Fantastic! This is a most erotic display! Kiss each other and the pleasure shall be doubled!" “You crazy ponys invited a princess?” "You shoulda seen her when she was the one on the stage. She pulled Shy up there with her and had her dancing like some kinda street trotter. Those two went through three pints ah hard cider. EACH" Applejack sighed peeking through the door. “That’s enough booze to put Big Mac down for the count but those two jus got all rowdy and hornery. I ain’t never seen Shy slap another filly on the flanks before but liquor does mysterious things..." A burst of cheers and applause drew their attention away from the conversation. Rarity whispered to Vinyl Scratch, and she politely nodded, lowering the music. The performers onstage stopped dancing to pick up the stray bits surrounding them, while Rarity seized a microphone from the wall and climbed onto the front of the structure, gesturing for everyone to wrap up the praise. “Thank you darlings, you’ve been a most gracious crowd! And now ladies and…. Well more ladies. I present you with tonight’s feature dancer. The one you’ve all been waiting for. Please give a round of applause to the Erotic and Sensual TRIXIE!” Twilight immediately dropped her notebook and barreled towards the front of the stage to get a better view, while Fluttershy and Luna jumped out of their seats and stomped their praise, drowning out the plot shaking rhythm of the music. The azure mare strode from behind the curtain clad only in a small lavender thong emblazoned with stars and immediately began grinding against a pole in the middle of the stage. Turning a bit red around the ears from the display and feeling her wings begin to rise, Dash led Applejack back outside into the warm summer night. “AJ, after seeing all that, maybe we both need a drink. You look a little…traumatized and I'm gonna need a cold shower.” “To say the least sugarcube. I don't ever wanna see another griffon in a G string again.” “I'm kinda surprised they didn’t have any dudes dancing to accommodate you.” Dash laughed walking her companion away from the noise and debauchery. “You deserve a sexy show as much as anyone else.” AppleJack blushed “I guess being in the minority here ain’t something everypony else is used to. Rarity didn’t take mah hint at first but later she did offer to pay Cherry Coke to do a little somethin for me but by then I kinda felt like it would be too much trouble.” “You’re waaay too nice for your own good.” Rainbow dash stopped in her tracks and stared into the distance for a moment before regaining her composure. “Erm… Aj…. Did Rarity have any other entertainment planned?” A shadowed figure stepped out of the forest, a simple brown cloak obscuring its features. As it got closer black stripes and gold rings became visible on its snowy white fur. Zecora was stomping her way towards the two in a huff. Her eyes were bloodshot and her normally pert and tight Mohawk flopped sadly to one side. She glared at the boutique before she turned to Rainbow and Applejack sighing wearily. “This noise and ruckus you ponies keep You stop me from getting a wink of sleep I toss and turn and moan and yawn Must you foals party until the break of dawn?” “Sorry Zecora, I think its almost over, the headliner is performing right now.” Rainbow dash muttered, feeling just a bit guilty. With her hair a mess and her usually upkept appearance mussed, Zecora looked almost… cute. The Zebra shook her hair from her eyes and let out a heavy yawn, “Well that’s good at least, you have my thanks I came here ready to kick some flanks” Dash giggled, more than amused at this side of the serious shaman. “No prob Z. Hey I was just thinking… I mean… not that I'm asking or anything… but do you have a date for the…” “RAINBOW DASH!” “Damn it all.” The three turned back to the party in time to see Rarity burst through the doors and race towards them. “Oh goodness Rainbow, you won’t believe what just happened. This is terrible! Its awful! It is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!” Rarity summoned a chaise lounge and flopped down onto it, covering her eyes in a fantastic display of dramatics. “Yeah what the hay do you want Rarity, were kinda in the middle of a thing here.” Dash spat. “Gilda!” “Gilda?” The three gasped. “Yes Gilda. I was in my bedroom powdering my nose, and Gilda burst in, completely in tears! The poor dear looks positively dreadful! Anyway she raved and ranted and finally she told me Pinkie Pie won’t speak to her at all. I think the wedding is off!” “Well what the hay is she doing in your room?” Applejack asked already rushing into the boutique. “I haven't the faintest idea, maybe it’s my excellent advice, or my unfathomable charms but she just held onto me crying. She mentioned something about her mother calling me… oh dear I can’t believe I’m saying this… backup booty.” Rainbow dash and Zecora followed Applejack and raced into the house, past the sea of partying ponies while Rarity bounded close behind. At the top of the stairs they could already hear sobbing before Applejack turned and bucked the door open. Gilda was inside curled up on Raritys bed, the sheets pulled around her in a sort of makeshift nest. Discarded tissues surrounded her, littering the floor and the dresser. Her feathers had a strange array of painted tattoos on them similar to her mothers, but the ones on her face had been smudged and damaged by her tears. “P..Pinkie?” The griffon gently lifted her head as the three curious ponies entered the room, but seeing none of them as the pink mare of her dreams she heaved and shoved her head into the pillow, crying even harder. “Do not despair my feathered friend I'm sure your love has not met its end The pink mare that you so treasure Will forgive you if you…. You know what. Fuck it. Its 2 am.” Dash and Applejack exchanged confused glances before the striped pony continued. She stomped toward the bed ominously and shoved her face right against that of the sobbing griffon. “Now you listen to me you whiney brat. We’ve all had more than enough of that. I haven't gotten a single wink of sleep tonight and I am not in the mood to hear about your fight. Now you get your butt out of this bed, and get some sense into your head. Apologize to that woman you love, or I swear, I will kick you so hard you’ll coo like a dove.” “But Pinkie won’t even speak to me!” She sobbed. “She won’t even let me into our apartment. When I got home all my stuff was on the lawn and she’d changed the locks.” “Well don't fret dear” Rarity piped up, overcoming the shock of seeing her bedroom destroyed. “We know a little something about Pinkie Pie that I think she may have forgotten to tell you.” “Whats that?” Gilda sighed looking up. Rainbow Dash put a hoof on Gilda’s shoulder. “Every time Pinkie has ever changed the locks in her apartment she keeps a spare key inside a balloon on the porch. She used to stumble home drunk a lot and keeping an extra set of keys was the only way she could get inside without waking the Cakes up.” “That’s perfect! But what do I say to her? How can I apologies for all my mother’s…. Well this!” Gilda yelled motioning to the tattoos. “Don't worry, Ive got a plan.” Dash said taking charge and turning to the others. “Rarity, I need you to go downstairs and send all those rowdy ponies home so Zecora can get some sleep. Its waaay past midnight and I think it’s about time they all cool down.” “Yes, of course!” Rarity nodded rushing out the door. “AJ, I need you to escort Fluttershy home and have Spike contact the palace to get a carriage for Luna. I don't want those two wandering home alone drunk.” “Right on it sugarcube.” “And Zecora!” She turned to attempt asking out the zebra gain but found her fast asleep on the floor next to the bed. “Oh uh… little help here Gilda?” The two gently lifted the striped mare onto the bed and tucked her under the covers before silently heading off into the night to save the Gilda/Pie wedding. * * * After retrieving the spare key from a bright pink balloon and sneaking up the stairs, Gilda noticed an odd feeling about the Bakery. Something about it was almost surreal. Broken. The two pushed past the feeling and opened the door to Pinkies apartment, not expecting anything like the chaos that met them. “Oh damn it all, not this again.” Rainbow dash muttered scowling as she and Gilda entered the room. “Holy crap what is all this?” Gilda cried, backing away from the door as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. “This is what happens when you make Pinkie Pie sad” Dash gestured to the chaos behind them. Pinkie’s entire apartment was decorated in random pieces of fabric and shiny things hastily pasted onto the walls. Bed sheets, silverware, bits, and curtains were stuck onto the walls haphazardly in a psychotically childish attempt to look “elegant”. In the center of the room she had lined up chairs and seated upon them were her special party guests. A rock, a bag of flour, and a ball of lint were amongst them, but there seemed to be at least one item on each chair for every pony in Ponyville. At the front of the room stood an altar made of cardboard surrounded by a tissue paper arch. Gilda tried her best to relax terrified expression but to no avail. “This is one big ball of crazy. I mean it takes a seriously messed up chick to do something like this.” “Oh really?” A voice behind the altar alerted the two to the party hosts presence. “Oh I'm glad to see you could make it to my ‘crazy’ wedding!” Pinkamena strode out from a room behind the altar dressed fully in her wedding gown. Her hair was bone straight and her normally vibrant pink coat, was a washed out gray to match her expression. “I’d like you two to meet my NEW fiance, Grizelda.” She grinned holding up a basketball with a yellow party hat placed around it to look vaguely like a beak. “Hiya dweebs!” She mimicked, moving around the ball as she spoke “Ya here to see the coolest wedding of the century, or you dorks gonna leave so ya don't nerd up the place?” “Hey! I don't even talk to people like that anymore.” Gilda muttered blushing deeply at the very approximate impression. “Well it doesn’t matter how you talk because I'm not marrying you. I'm marrying Grizelda and we’ll be the happiest couple in all of Ponyville.” “Pinkie please don't do this! I need some help here. Rainbow dash, say something! Anything!” She looked between the frazzled griffon and her mate. Just when she had an idea of what to say she noticed Gummy in a full wedding dress sitting on the altar next to Pinkie and burst out in a volatile fit of laughter. “D….dash?” She rolled around on the floor laughing, her eyes watering and her breath growing raspy and pained. “I.. I cant even… hahaha” she sputtered pounding the ground and kicking her legs. “Wow” Pinkie gasped, regaining a bit of clarity “That’s crazy even by my standards.” She finally stopped laughing and sat up looking at the couple. “Gilda you just… you had to pick her didn’t you? You had to choose the craziest pony in equestrian as your wife. You sure as hell know how to pick em girly.” Not seeing any help from the rainbow pony anytime soon Gilda took it upon herself to help. She sighed and pushed through the aisles of toasters and tissue boxes before finally reaching the altar and snatching the basketball away from Pinkamena. “Hey you put down my wife this instant!” “Yea dorkwad! You stay away from my Pinkie!” The ball barked in reply. Gilda dug her claws into both sides of the ball and popped it, before dropping it to the ground to wilt. Pinkie moved to rescue her bride but Gilda picked her up before she could get close. Gilda pulled her close to her body and cradled her in her arms cooing gently to calm her. As Pinkie stopped struggling and relaxed some of her color returned and her hair began coiling into curls. “I'm still really mad at you, you know. You didn’t stand up for me. You didn’t even care. I almost ate a fat jerky colt for you and you couldn't even say no to your meanypants mom for me. What kinda lady can’t even defend her wife’s hair?” Pinkie mumbled into her chest. “She’s my mother.” Gilda replied softly. “I would never dare let try to change you Pinkie but what do I do when it’s my own mother? What was I supposed to say to her? You know I would do anything I can to protect you but how do I protect someone I love from someone else I love?” Pinkie’s shoulders shook, her hair falling over her face in a cascade as a few tears fell onto her chest. “I don't know Gilda. This is our wedding. This was supposed to be our wedding. How could you let her come in and change everything this way? Doesn’t she like me? Everypony likes me.” “EveryONE Pinkie. It’s not you sweetie.” She said wiping each tear away with a kiss “It’s me she doesn’t seem to like very much. I told her she could dress me however she wanted if she would leave you alone. That’s why I look like I just fell into Inkys tattoo parlor.” “You did all that for me?” “Of course Pinkie.I love you more than anything in the world and I won’t let my mother dye your hair or do anything else to hurt you. She just wants to have her say in everything and our wedding isn’t any different. You know why she came early don't you?” Pinkie shook her head silently. Gilda put her back down on the altar and disappeared into the bedroom for a moment. When she returned, she held a large manila envelope was in her beak. She placed it on the podium Pinkie had set up for the "priest" and pulled out a picture. It was of a small plot of land, about the size of a single pony house. The grassy area was empty save for a small sign pounded into the ground in the center. Pinkie stared in shock at the words on the sign. “Future site of Pinkie Pie’s Party Palace?” “My mom, the Cakes, and your parents all pitched in money to buy it for you. Arnie and the other contractor ponies haven't gotten the construction crew to work yet but it’s gonna be a little pink castle covered in balloons and streamers. It’s your very own party supply store and party planning service.” “Oh Gildie I can’t believe, when did they plan all this?” “It’s their wedding gift to you. They were working on getting the deeds and everything for months.” “Gilda I love you so so much. I can never thank you enough for… I can never thank any of you enough for this.” “I know it’s always been your dream to have your own place my love. I told my mom and she agreed to help. Even if she’s a nut job she’s not a really a bad griffon. She helped give you this gift because you’re so special. Parties are what you do best no amount of hair dye and fussing can change that. She may complain about us not having marigolds and pinstriped suits but in the end all she truly wants is for the two of us to be happy together.” “I'm so sorry Gilda. I should have let you in earlier. I can help you move all your stuff back in if you like. Thank you for not letting me marry a basketball.” Pinkie frowned sheepishly remembering her earlier rage. “Dont worry my love, I doubt it would have been legal anyway since the priest is a blender. Now come on, lets clean this place up huh?” When Rainbow Dash finally stopped laughing, she hugged the little alligator and happily watched the lovers reconcile. No one had ever taken Pinkie Pie from crazy to zero in ten seconds flat before. She hadn’t seen very many creatures share a love quite like this but it was something she was determined to have for herself as well. Even if she couldn't quite talk to the mares well. She cuddled gummy for several minutes thinking of all the possible mares she could ask out, lovingly gazing into space as he gnawed on her leg.