"I'm gonna have to take things from here, as dear Blithy said. Can't have your arse sitting on that throne." Valkyrie smirked, having made a complete transformation from Blithy. She cracked her fingers, then went on to give a good smack into her shoulder. It seemed to break for a second, but bounced back. "Bloody hell, how the heck does Blithy even move in this thing?" She commented.
"As if your lazy arse would've kept it healthy." Blithy muttered, now inside Valkyrie's head. They actually shared it, and were able to see each other's thoughts. This was most unusual, but they were making it work- and they suspected it was only working because of their AI-like brain structures. "One step out of line and I'm taking over again."
"Interesting tactic. Using me to understand... Well, me." Val smirked, quite literally guarding her throne. "But, since you know me- you can't have it."
"Didn't expect you to say I could, anyway." Valkyrie muttered. "So, Val- I hate that shortened version of the name by the way, just for the purpose of conversation- what surprises do you have for m- Ooooh..." She let out what could only be described as an orgasmic groan, hunching over. Then she started chuckling, which gradually grew into the loud open laugh that the both of them were so used to.
Val smirked. Thought so.
"Bloody hell, this thing is nasty. Gotta get me one of these- don't ask why though." Valkyrie tore the torture device off the back of her neck, blood dripping onto the floor. She crushed the device in a hand, bits of metal parts scattering across the floor. Soon the wound healed, and she rubbed her neck just to make sure.
"Surprise~!" Val sang mockingly as Valkyrie dropped the device.
"That's it?" Valkyrie raised an eyebrow, then raised a hand. Motors whined as twin mini-machine guns deployed from her palm. "And here I was, expecting so much more from my more 'advanced' self, so to speak."
"Best for later, right?" Val shrugged.
"True." Valkyrie nodded, then let out a barrage from the machine guns.
The bullets tore through Val's body, who didn't even bother dodging. She took a step back, blood dripping from over fifty bullet holes and splattering all over the floor.
"Haven't died in a while now." She said, although it was a slight bit raspy because her lungs and throat hadn't fully healed yet.
"Haven't been beaten up by yourself in a while." Valkyrie replied, darting forward and cracking a fist.
Val reached behind herself, grabbed hold of her own spine and tore it from her body along with several ribs. They healed almost immediately, because she was expecting the trauma.
Valkyrie didn't have a lot of time to react, since she was already right before Val, whose back was now covered in blood.
Val swung the spine around, now a deadly melee weapon with sharp ribs jutting out the sides.
The hit landed right into Valkyrie's waist, the ribs stabbing into hers. Val let go, sending both bone and Valkyrie flying to the side. They hit the wall, denting it severely.
"I thought I was getting old, cause my back was hurting like a real bastard." Val stretched, several loud clicks bouncing off the throne room's walls. "But turns out I just had to replace my spine."
"That's new." Valkyrie muttered, pulling out the bits of bone still embedded in her side. She was partially stuck in the dent in the wall, so had to pull herself out. "Gotta try that some time."
"Copyright." Val reminded her.
"What, you gonna sue me?" Valkyrie tilted her head to one side.
"Don't even need to go to court." Val said, approaching her alternate reality self.
"Cause I am the law!" The two said together, clicking their fingers and laughing. Then both went for a hi-five.
Val's hand crunched down on Valkyrie's fingers as she swept her hooves out from beneath her. Instead of falling down, Valkyrie swung her back legs up and clamped them around Val's head- then twisted.
The both of them fell down heavily, but both recovered at the same time and leapt back up again.
Val launched a back hoof out towards Valkyrie's face. Valkyrie stopped it with a hand, but noticed something in the hoof that she didn't have.
The boosters inside Val's hoof flared up with a loud BOOM, blasting Valkyrie across the room with her face almost completely burnt off.
"Extreme makeover." Val grinned, and Valkyrie chuckled along as her face started healing and mending back together.
"Time to remove some of that body fat..." She replied, a serrated knife popping out of her arm. She caught it in a hand, then threw it at Val's stomach.
Val crossed her arms out before her, unleashing a barrage of bullets from the machine guns. They hit the knife, flicking it up into the air and off target. This temporary distraction made her take her eyes off Valkyrie, who had used this time to leap into the air and grab the knife.
Val was about to aim up, but was far too late- Valkyrie stabbed the knife down right on the top of her head, the blade busting through her skull and into her throat. The force sent her falling forwards, right into Valkyrie's waiting knee. The metal plate on her leg caught her right in the chin, sending her tumbling backwards head-over-heals.
She activated the boosters in her hooves with the last bit of consciousness she had before she died, the force sending her flying into Valkyrie's stomach. The knife's handle made a painful crack against her ribs, and the both of them tumbled in a mess of limbs towards the bottom of the stairs which led to the throne.
"Huh." Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at the knife embedded handle-first in her stomach, then pulled it out and swung it at Val as she got up.
Val closed a fist around the knife, crushing it into a ball of scrunched up metal.
"Bucking finish her already!" Blithy yelled, inside her own head.
"Shut it! I'm tryi- OOMF!" Valkyrie started a reply, but immediately caught a fist to her face. She tumbled down the steps, ending up upside down on her head.
"Head stands? That's also new." Val said cheekily.
"Agreed." Valkyrie got up, rubbing her head where it slammed into the edge of some steps earlier.
"Right side! Right side!" Blithy warned.
"Yeah yeah, you fighting or am I fighting?" Valkyrie snapped back irritably, blocking the swing from Val.
"Knee!" Blithy yelled.
"Oh by Celestia's beard..." Valkyrie mentally rolled her eyes, then swapped places with Blithy.
In the physical world, Valkyrie's blue hair just went straight to green in less than a fraction of a second as she forced Blithy to take over.
Val's knee, boosted by the thrusters in her hooves; was already halfway across the space between her and her enemy.
"What the-? OOMF!!" Blithy felt the air get knocked from her lungs and squished from her stomach as Val's knee drove into her side. Valkyrie gave her a few seconds to register the pain, then switched back.
"Now keep quiet." She jeered, swinging a fist at Val.
Val grabbed her wrist, then through some odd twisting motion managed to pull her into a strangling hold using her own arm.
"Just another intimate moment with myself." She muttered, since it probably looked a lot like a bear-hug-from-behind from a distance.
"Shhh, shhh..." Val shushed, still strangling Valkyrie- then she grew tired of it, and closed a hand over her head.
"Ah crap..." Valkyrie muttered, seconds before her head was ripped apart by bullets from Val's palm machine gun thingy then crushed into bloody bits by her hand.
Her dead body fell forwards, making a sick and squishy thud against the floor.
Val ran a tongue along a bloodied finger. "Good tasting as always."
"I think I have migraines." Valkyrie got to her hooves, stumbling about with her eyes rolling in opposite directions. Her head was still piecing itself together, and she was holding it by the temples in a comical manner.
"Hey! You want the throne?" She heard Val yell. "Then take it!"
"OOMF!" She grunted as Val threw the heavy throne down on her, crushing her beneath it.
The large fancy chair then shattered into several pieces and tumbled elsewhere.
Through tear blurred eyes, she spotted something as it rolled in front of her. The can of spray paint.
"This is why I can't have nice things." Val smirked, slowly walking down the stairs step by step.
"Hey, you ever read the labels on this thing?" Valkyrie picked up the can, getting to her hooves. Bits of splintered material from the chair slid off her back.
"Yeah." Val replied.
"It says 'flammable'." Valkyrie nodded.
"Yeah I remember- buck." Val muttered as Valkyrie threw the can at her face. It hit her flat between the eyes, the force knocking her back a step.
Valkyrie moved up, catching the can with one hand while slamming the other into Val's head. She fell back, stumbling back to the top of the steps then tripping over the last one.
"Gah..." She cursed, sitting up and rubbing her head. Then she saw the can rolling between her legs. "Oh sh-"
The can exploded as Valkyrie shot it, a bright and brief explosion of blue paint as the compressed air inside caught fire during expansion from the container. There wasn't much of a shockwave, but the flames scorched parts of Val's body and sent paint splattering over her entire front side.
"Oh look, you just lost your virginity to a can of spray paint." Valkyrie grinned. "Always liked blue, though."
"Yeah, hot girls like us- who can resist right?" Val pulled on a proud act, flicking some paint off her hands and getting up.
"I'm sure whoever is interested would enjoy this fight." Valkyrie shrugged, aiming her palm at Val.
Val activated the thrusters in her hooves, which sent her spiraling up and over Valkyrie. Valkyrie fired, most of her shots missed and the few that hit drew sparks from Val's robot parts.
With a heavy clunk Val landed behind her, then charged forward and tackled her head-on. The both of them tumbled forward, now closer to the screens that were behind where the throne should be. They both rolled to their hooves, still facing each other.
Val lunged forward again, a knife popping out from her left arm and into her right hand.
Valkyrie blocked the knife inches away from her face, and slammed a fist into Val's side to throw her off balance. With her guard down, Val was easily vulnerable for several seconds.
Valkyrie spun and slammed a back hoof into her chest, sending her flying backwards.
Val hit with her back the screens, cracking them and turning off the power. The orange light from the sun and the view of the battle in space outside faded as glass shards flew from the cracks.
Valkyrie leaped forward again, ready to deliver another blow. Too bad she made a leap, because she had no means of course correction.
Val spun out of the way, grabbed Valkyrie as she passed and shoved her into the cracked screens. She dented the wall even further, almost breaking it completely.
Then she felt a burst of pain in her back as Val kicked her in the spine, sending her through the wall of screens.
Bits of electronics flew around her, accompanied by shards of glass which glowed orange under the sunlight as they all came out into space.
Only it wasn't space.
At first Valkyrie could only see the bright glare of the sun, but then as her eyes adjusted- she saw the mountains in the distance, possibly a few hundred kilometers away. They were covered in snow, and glistened in the light like crystals.
Then as she fell down, she saw more of her environment. Coming closer and closer to where she was, she realized there was an entire city below her. She was probably at the highest point of it all, falling.
The tall metallic buildings, far from an architectural style she knew; slowly rose up to greet her as she tumbled down. Then her shoulder cracked against cold concrete, and she felt blood being squished away from her flesh from the impact. Her head then followed, slamming into the floor. For a few seconds she was dead, but as she regained consciousness- she realized she had fallen down onto a balcony.
"What." She stumbled up clumsily, stunned by what she had just seen- because it wasn't at all what she expected. "What the hell..."
Val glided down from above, where there was just a hole in the side of a large skyscraper. Possibly a central tower. She had her arms folded, and an evil grin which Valkyrie knew all too well on her face. It would've looked menacing at the very least if she wasn't still mostly covered in blue paint.
"Thought you were on the COLOSSUS, didn't you?" She chuckled, landing behind Valkyrie as she scrambled to the handrails, looking over them and rubbing her eyes. This can't be real... She was on land!?
"How- what?" She stared out to the mountains far away, as if they'd give her some sort of answer. Then she spun around, leaning back against the handrails for support. She frowned, and pointed at Val. "You... YOU... You planned this!"
"I did. Thought you'd figure it out though, but too bad you were busy making jokes about my virginity." Val shrugged.
"You tricked them, didn't you? Do they still think I'm on the COLOSSUS?" Valkyrie looked up, and of course- there was the space battle, no more than occasional bright bursts of light as ships went down high up beyond the sky.
"They even sent in a squad to try and sabotage the ship." Val's grin only grew wider as she relived the memory. "And I just blew up the bridge! The COLOSSUS doesn't even matter to me, as I already told you."
"Okay, that's pretty funny and all-" Valkyrie chuckled a little. Just a little. "-But what the hell is happening up there?"
"Well, I believe Spitfire had already decided to abandon you when she realized there was no way out-" Val smirked. "Just from stuff I heard, anyway. I got Starshine to plant a listening device in the bridge before he left."
"Then why? Why didn't you just reveal where I actually was?"
"Because information is power, my naive alternate reality self." Val spread her arms out as if preaching Valkyrie, which annoyed her. "You see, Spitfire didn't start attacking the COLOSSUS because she 'knew' you were still on it. And that brought me time, didn't it? Brought me time to deal more damage to her than she did to me- because she fired late."
Valkyrie was silent for a few seconds as she looked around her. The city was a bustling metropolis, streams of traffic flying to and from different parts of the city. Her hair started turning green as she gave way to Blithy- she no longer had anything to say. Now all she could do was sit back and see how this would go- because if she really was where she thought she was, then not even she could do anything about it.
Blithy was still trying to get her head around this alarming revelation- and all she could do was shake her head. This wasn't good by the slightest- her own people had no way of knowing where she was, and Spitfire probably still believed the battle she was fighting was worth fighting. From what Val had said, taking down the COLOSSUS was meaningless- and while she didn't believe her at first, after THIS- her doubt was starting to crack.
"If I'm not on the COLOSSUS..." She frowned, turning back to Val. "Then where the hell am I?"
"My dearest self..." Val joined her by the handrails, wiping some paint off her face. "This here is home, Blithy."
That only drew a more suspicious look from Blithy, but her eyes widened when Valkyrie whispered the answer to her in her mind. Val grinned at her reaction.
"Welcome to Valhalla, and enjoy your stay."
*
"Our shields are down! Captain- what do we do!?"
"Do not abandon your battle stations! Keep firing! Soarin- bloody get over there!"
"Yes ma'am!"
"Engine five has been hit! Captain- we don't have enough power to keep ourselves in orbit!"
"Use what we have and break away! Make sure we stay in the fight!"
"We've lost contact with M.F. REAPER!"
"The COLOSSUS's dark matter cannon is at full charge!"
"Concentrate fire on their engines! Make sure they don't get away! Bring them down to earth!"
"CYCLOPS- officer Soarin speaking! What's your status?"
"Ninety-eight percent to max firing strength!"
"Dark matter cannon is charging up! THEY'RE FIRING!!"
"Iris! Aim it at the bloody COLOSSUS- NOW!! Iris? IRIS!!"
"Ma'am! They've destroyed our comms!"
"DAMNIT!!"
"THE CYCLOPS'S LEFT WING HAS BEEN HIT!! THEIR PRIMARY NAVIGATION AND TARGETING SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED!"
"HANGAR FIVE HAS BEEN DESTROYED!!"
"We've lost contact with Gamma squad!"
"CHRONOS is going down!"
"Hull breach at sector eight!"
"Air locks engaged at sector seventeen!"
"We're losing her damnit!!"
"Maintain this ship for as long as possible! As long as there is still energy, as long as there is still ammunition- USE ALL OF IT!!"
"COLOSSUS IS FIRING!!"
"What is tha...? HOLY BUCKING-"
"INCOMING!!!"
"BRACE YOURSELVES!!"
"Gah! DAMNIT!! We've lost contact with sectors two, six, nine, fifteen and twenty three!!"
"Central AI mainframe has been hit! The system is shutting itself off!!"
"Well at least we're not down yet. Good work CYCLOPS! Good thinking!"
"Yeeehaw!! Didn't think a prism beam would counter a dark matter cannon like that!!"
"Officer, do we still have control over navigation?"
"Aye, ma'am."
"Good! How much forward momentum do we have left?"
"Seventy hundred and sixty two and dropping!"
"Damn... But it's enough."
"The COLOSSUS just isn't bloody going down! How much does it take to kill this thing!?"
"Yeah, you know the saying 'If it bleeds, we can kill it'?"
"Well there's your problem."
"Captain... final verdict?"
Rainbow turned off the recording at that point. There wasn't much point in knowing what happened next- because she could see the fireworks from down here in the Tunnels HQ, where the magic faction had set up cameras outside which were streaming videos live all the way down here. She could feel the slight tremors in the earth as bits of the COLOSSUS and OASIS came down, a rain of fire.
Spitfire is dead.