The life of an intergalactic space pirate was a tough one. It took a well-trained pony, strong in body, mind, and heart, to not only face, but overcome the many trials and tribulations such a job entailed. Most ponies would run in fright at the sights that an ISP faced on a daily basis. Rival pirate ships, huge tentacle monsters, perilous asteroid fields...most of ponykind didn't have to deal with these threats, nor would they want to. It was up to the bravest of the brave, the strongest of the strong, the awesomest of the awesome, to keep these threats at bay, away from those who stood no chance against them. Luckily for the ponies of Equestria, they had three ponies who were up to the task.
"Officer Starscoots!" came the call from the captain's chair. "Prepare the main thrusters! We're 'bout ta go inta hyperdrive!"
"Yes sir, ma'am, sir!" Officer Starscoots responded. She lurched forward, grabbing at the control lever with both front hooves. Captain Bloom Nebula couldn't possibly overstate the value of a right-hoof mare like Officer Starscoots. She had stuck by her through thick and thin, stared down vicious Garbonaks without a care for her own well-being. She was the kind of intergalactic space pirate that every captain wanted on their crew, but only she was lucky enough to have her.
"Ensign Spacie Belle!" Bloom barked. "Ah need a status report on the phasers!"
"The phasers are set to stun, captain!" Spacie Belle shouted back.
"We need more power than that!" the captain ordered. "Set 'em ta Ultra-Stun!" Spacie was spacey, that was for sure. Still, she was an incredibly valuable asset to the crew. Nopony could fire a phaser with her precision, and her sonic scream attack was invaluable when the fight got up close and personal. Bloom would gladly give her life for her crew, and she knew they would do the same for her.
"Enemy approaching on the starboard bow!" Starscoots cried, slamming her hoof into the ship's control panel.
"It's a big one, captain!" Spacie shrieked.
"Alright crew," Bloom said sternly. "We gotta turn an' face the enemy head-on!" She flung the steering wheel to the right, preparing to give the enemy a battle it wouldn't soon forget. The captain stared defiantly at the terrible enemy's approach. It didn't take her long to recognize what she and her crew were up against. It was certainly not an uncommon foe.
"Look out, everypony!" the captain shouted. "It's the terrible Apple Titan!"
Applejack watched as the three fillies grabbed the edges of the cardboard box they were sitting in and started to run towards her. Normally, this would have been the point where she'd smirk, then take up the part that Bloom had assigned her. Playing the Apple Titan was pretty easy stuff. Regrettably, there was no time for such things right now.
"Sorry, girls, but Ah'm afraid there ain't no Apple Titan right now," AJ told them. "An' Ah'm gunna hafta take yer captain away. 'Fraid she's got some chores ta take care of in the house, an' then it's dinnertime."
"Chores?!" Bloom moaned, in a matter most unbefitting of her recent position as captain of an intergalactic space pirate ship. "But me an' Scoots an' Sweetie still gotta..."
"Ah'm sorry, Apple Bloom," AJ said, lifting her bodily out of the box. "But these chores gotta get done."
"But Applejack!" Bloom protested.
"But nothin'," AJ replied, setting Bloom on her back. "Ya gotta listen ta yer big sister, an' that's all there is to it. Now say goodbye ta yer friends." Bloom looked at Scootaloo and Sweetie, who gave her apologetic looks. The little yellow filly frowned as AJ started her trot towards the farmhouse. It just wasn't fair. At least she still had her favorite dinner and tomorrow's crusade to look forward to, though.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Whaddaya mean we ain't havin' hay fries?" Bloom asked incredulously. Hay fries were far and away her favorite meal, and it was Friday. Friday was always hay fry day, to the point that she'd renamed it Hayfriday in her mind. She'd worked her rump off with all the chores AJ had assigned her upon arriving at home, but the thing that had fueled her along (other than the promise of tomorrow's crusade with the girls) was the knowledge that sweet, salty salvation awaited her. To snatch it away from her now was...it was unspeakable. Inconceivable. Blasphemous, even. So many words that she could almost hear Scootaloo calling her a dictionary in her head.
"Ya cain't always be havin' that stuff, Apple Bloom," AJ told her as she turned the burners on the stove off. "It's okay sometimes, but too much ain't good fer ya." She smiled warmly at her little sister as she set a dish of steamed carrots in front of her. "C'mon now. These're fresh from Carrot Top's garden."
Bloom stared at the steamed carrots, trying to change them into hay fries through sheer willpower. It wasn't that she didn't like steamed carrots. In fact, she liked them a lot, especially when they came from Ms. Top's garden. That wasn't the point right now though. The point right now was that they were not hay fries.
"But it's Hayfriday!" Bloom protested. "...Ah mean Friday!" She blushed lightly at the accidental utterance of her name for the day, but there was no time to worry about it now.
"Don't matter what day it is," AJ replied, sitting down to begin her meal. "Yer a growin' filly, an' it ain't good ta eat so much junk food. Ah don't want ya havin' health problems when ya grow up." Bloom pouted. Logic was attempting to wedge itself into the situation, but it was a battle that the abstract concept could not win.
"Granny Smith always makes hay fries fer me on Fridays," Bloom whined, nudging the dish of carrots away.
"Well, Granny Smith ain't here," AJ replied, sighing. "Long as she an' Big Macintosh're away in Fillydelphia, Ah'm the oldest pony here an' Ah'm in charge. Ah know ya love hay fries, but they jus' ain't healthy ta have all the time. An' Ah know fer a fact that ya like steamed carrots too, which is why Ah made those instead." She patted her sister gently on the shoulder. "So c'mon now. Eat up, alright? Please?" Bloom knew her sister was just looking out for her, but after the disappointment of having to cut her fun time with her friends short in favor of chores, losing out on her favorite meal did not sit well with her at all. The filly reached up and smacked her sister's hoof away.
"Tain't fair," Bloom said. Applejack was startled by her sister's resistance; it wasn't like Bloom to hit her like that. The farmer furrowed her brow.
"Don't matter if it's fair," AJ said, feeling her anger take hold of her. "Ah'm yer big sister an' ya gotta listen ta me. Now eat yer carrots." Bloom looked up to protest again, and was met with the sight of her sister's tail swishing through the doorway and into the living room. AJ was always like that. If she got too upset, she'd remove herself from the situation so her temper wouldn't make her say something she didn't mean. This didn't matter to Bloom, though, not even the tiniest bit. All that mattered was that she'd once again been denied her way because Applejack had pulled the big sister card.
Bloom glared at the offending carrots, nary an intention of eating them on her mind. She'd starve herself, and AJ would feel terrible that her sister had starved because of her. The fasting protest didn't last long, though, as the filly felt her belly rumble. With a sigh, she pulled the carrots over and began to eat, acknowledging that some battles were not worth waging. She smiled as she ate the first carrot. They really were tasty. But they weren't hay fries. She quickly put a frown on her face; she wouldn't allow Applejack the satisfaction of seeing her approval if she came back in the room. It wasn't long before the carrots were but a memory. Bloom made a mental note to go and thank Ms. Top for the carrots tomorrow. it would have to be done without AJ knowing, and also after the big crusade tomorrow. She'd had so much taken away from her, but at least she still had that to look forward to.
~~~~~~~~~~
With the way things had been going today, Bloom had half-expected Applejack to make her do more chores after dinner was over. It came as a relief to her when her sister chose to spend the night relaxing and letting Bloom be. Bloom needed that time, after all, to prepare herself for tomorrow's big crusade. Previous endeavors by the three friends had all proven to be fruitless, as they were all still devoid of cutie marks. None of those past attempts could hold a candle to what tomorrow had in store for them, though. Everything in their friendship had been leading to this moment. There was no chance in Tartarus that any of them would be walking away from tomorrow's events without a cutie mark. Maybe even two cutie marks! Wait, no, just one each. Multiple cutie marks didn't work out so well last time.
Bloom felt like Twilight Sparkle as she triple-checked her checklist for tomorrow. Fishing rod, check. Butterfly net, check. Shovel, check. All the other stuff...almost check. There was one very, very important thing missing from her checklist, one that she couldn't even dream of going on this crusade without. The filly couldn't believe that she'd nearly forgotten to prepare an appropriate adventuring hat! She got right to work, whipping out a sheet of white paper and a set of crayons. It took about a half hour, including time spent on folding properly, before her work was done. As she stared in awe at her beautiful creation, she knew her time had been well-spent. When she met her friends at 1:00 PM tomorrow, the first topic of conversation would surely be her excellently-crafted hat. The vibrant colors, the stunning designs, the perfect craftsmanship...no, there was no way that the others' hats could possibly compare. She would wear perfection on her head, and the others would be forced to envy her as she led them on their mystical journey.
"Apple Bloom?" came Applejack's voice from outside her room, immediately proceeding a knock on the door. "Can Ah come in?" Bloom sat there silently for a few moments, considering her options. She couldn't pretend to not be there. If she stayed silent, AJ would likely assume that she went out with her permission and would likely barge in anyway. Maybe she was coming to apologize for all the stuff from earlier? Bloom could only hope that this was the case.
"Yeh, c'mon in," Bloom said. The door opened, and she watched her sister enter, trying to gauge the look on her face. As far as she could tell, Applejack didn't look like she was going to be hollering at her for anything. AJ was usually an easy pony to read, as her natural sense of honesty usually made her wear her emotions on her sleeve. She looked far more apologetic than angry, which relieved the little filly.
"Bloom, Ah wanna talk t'ya 'bout earlier," AJ said, sitting down next to her sister. "Ah'm awful sorry if Ah came off a might short with ya b'fore. S'jus' that Ah worry 'bout ya, an' Ah wanna make sure yer growin' up all healthy an' responsible an' such. You understand that, right?" Bloom looked up at her sister. As upset with her as she was, she couldn't help but nod. She loved Applejack despite the unfairness from earlier.
"Good," AJ said, smiling. "Now c'mere an' give me a hug." The filly smiled and leaned into her older sister's waiting embrace. She smiled from ear to ear as she hugged Applejack. She was glad this whole thing was being resolved. The last thing she needed was to go into tomorrow's crusade all upset.
"Ah'm real glad we sorted this out, Apple Bloom," AJ said, beaming. "Now the both'f us should get ta bed. T'morrow's gunna be a busy day fer us." Bloom yawned. It was getting rather late, and she was pretty ti...wait, what?
"T'morrow?" Bloom exclaimed. "What's goin' on t'morrow?"
"We got a lotta errands ta run t'morrow!" Applejack responded, getting up. "An' Ah cain't rightly do 'em on mah own! We gotta run ta the market, an' then the bank, an' then we're pickin' up that book on exotic pie recipes from the library, an' 'course We're gunna be bakin' one'f 'em with Pinkie so it can be ready ta mail out ta Braeburn..."
"No no no no NO!!" Bloom shouted, startling Applejack out of her train of thought. "Ah got plans fer t'morrow! Me an' the girls got a big crusade goin' on! Ah cain't cancel on 'em! It's too important!" The little filly beat her hooves against the bed in frustration. She couldn't let this one slip away, no way, no how.
"More important than the farm an' yer family?" AJ asked. She realized that she'd raised her voice and softened her tone, "Apple Bloom, Ah cain't do this stuff without ya. Cain't ya play with yer friends later? Ah'm sure we'll be done by 'round sundown."
"Sundown?!" Bloom yelled, not extending the same courtesy of lowering her voice. "We were gunna start at 1:00! That's hours of potential cutie mark discoverin' that Ah'd be missin' out on!" She stared directly at Applejack, turning on her most adorable and pleading of gazes. She didn't break this out often; the last time she could remember was when Twilight had first come to town and she needed convincing to stick around for a meal. This case warranted it, though. It was of the utmost importance that she get her way.
"Now don't go givin' me that look, Apple Bloom," AJ said, brushing off her sister's most potent weapon like it was nothing. "If we don't get this stuff done t'morrow, Ah'm gunna be in more trouble than a balloon in a cactus patch when Granny Smith an' Big Macintosh get home. Yer jus' gunna hafta reschedule yer...whatever ya call it."
"Ah don't wanna!" Bloom shouted. "It's no fair!" She felt the anger inside her well up and burst, and before she knew what she was doing, she'd flung a pillow across the room at her sister. She watched, powerless to stop it, as the weapon of very minor destruction careened through the air, making direct contact with Applejack's face and knocking her hat off. For her part, AJ looked more stunned than angry at the sudden bit of fluffy aggression. The anger didn't take long to surface, though, as she furrowed her brow and glared at Bloom.
"Ya know what? Fine," Applejack said, frowning. "Ya don't gotta go with me. Ah'll get one'a the girls ta help. But ya still ain't goin' ta see yer friends, cause yer grounded, missy!" Bloom gasped. The dreaded G-word had been unleashed. She felt herself shaking with a mixture of anger and sadness.
"'Tain't fair!!" Bloom shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Well too bad!" the incensed AJ shouted back. "Ah'm yer big sister an' ya gotta do what Ah say! So there!" With that, she flipped the light off and exited Bloom's room, slamming the door behind her. Bloom sat there for a few moments, trembling with rage, before throwing herself back against the pillow that hadn't been turned into a projectile. The filly slammed her front hooves uselessly against her bed. It just felt like the right way to unleash her frustrations. When this choice of action did not result in everything being fixed, she turned onto her belly and pressed her face against the pillow. She felt tears forming, but fought valiantly against them. She would not allow her sister the satisfaction of having made her cry. Unfortunately, it turned out that this, too, was a battle that she could not win. The filly had herself a good cry before drifting off to sleep. The last words she managed to mutter before slumber overtook her were the same ones she'd been saying a lot today.
"Tain't fair..."
~~~~~~~~~~
It seemed like mere moments before Bloom woke up, her attention drawn towards her window by a quiet knocking sound. To say that she was surprised was an understatement. It was far too late at night for any of her friends to be visiting, and even if it had been the middle of the day, reaching her second-floor window would prove to be difficult. Her only good pegasus friend was Scootaloo, and while she had been getting better recently, she was nowhere near capable enough to fly up here. Bloom found herself apprehensive of what might be knocking on her window at this hour, but curiosity was one of her weak points. Plus, what kind of Cutie Mark Crusader would she be if she weren't brave? She was sure something about being brave was in the CMC Official Manual. Or at least it would be once she finished editing it. Slowly, cautiously, the filly rose from her bed and inched towards the window. As she approached, the knocking sound came again. This time, Bloom caught sight of the perpetrator: a small black cat.
"Shucks, is that what Ah've been all nervous about?" Bloom asked nopony in particular. She opened her window and allowed the little cat entry, an offer it accepted immediately. Bloom smiled warmly at the feline. She still had no clear explanation of how it had made it up to her window, but what harm could a cat do? She picked her visitor up, giving it a smile and looking into its little yellow eyes.
"Well hay there, lil' guy!" she whispered. "Ain't you jus' the cutest thing?"
"What a kind thing to say, Apple Bloom!" the cat replied in a deep, charming voice. The startled pony stumbled backwards, releasing the cat from her hold. She stared in shock as the cat hovered in the air, its body growing and changing into that of an all-too-familiar figure.
"I didn't know you felt that way about little old me," the embodiment of chaos sang, fluttering his eyelashes at the filly. "But I'm afraid we simply aren't meant to be." He chuckled to himself as he sat down on the stunned pony's bed. "Did you hear that rhyme? I swear it wasn't intentional. I'm no Zecora, after all."
"Discord!" Bloom exclaimed, having regained her voice. "A-Ah'm gunna tell Applejack!" She began to run, but a snap from Discord's fingers turned the ground below Bloom's hooves into a treadmill.
"Oh, do calm down, Apple Bloom," Discord said, stretching out to make himself comfortable. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm on Celestia's side now, remember? I'm a..." He lolled his tongue out of his mouth, making a bleh noise. "...Good guy now." Another snap of his fingers removed the treadmill, sending an unprepared Bloom hurtling forward. The filly winced and braced for impact against the door, but was snatched up safely by Discord's lion arm. Discord spun the filly carefully before setting her down on the mattress.
"Besides," the draconequus said with a smirk. "From what I understand of your situation, you're not very happy with your sister right now, are you?"
"H-how'd you know that?" Bloom stammered. Her fear of the being before her was beginning to diminish; after all, he had told the Princess and everypony else that he would use his powers for good. She still couldn't quite shake off the odd feeling she got from him, though, and his apparent knowledge of her current predicament wasn't helping matters.
"What a silly question," Discord answered, his tone light and flippant. "I AM the spirit of chaos, remember? The ponies in Ponyville are usually so happy and peaceful. So when I sensed your yelling and tears, my face just...lit up!" Discord's face suddenly became illuminated, to illustrate his point. Bloom couldn't help but giggle lightly. Visual gags were kinda funny.
"Alright," she said, "Then why'd ya..." Discord held one finger up to stop her, seeming to know exactly what she was going to ask.
"I wanted to run right over here and get a front-row seat!" he told her. "But of course, running down the street with my infamy and these devilishly good looks would draw quite a bit of attention." A snap of his fingers transformed him back into the cat form that he'd arrived in. "But nopony would question a cute widdle puddy-tat, would they?" Bloom tapped her chin with a hoof, thinking this over.
"Well...Ah s'pose that makes sense..." the filly was forced to admit. A puff of smoke accompanied Discord's transformation back into his normal form, and he sat down on the bed next to her.
"Now Apple Bloom," he said, sounding as gentle and caring as was possible. "Tell friendly old Mr. Discord what the problem is." Bloom looked up to him, and he gave her a big, toothy smile and a pleading look.
"Well," Bloom said, then took a deep, deep breath. "Ah was playin' with mah friends an' Applejack came by an' told me Ah had ta stop an' do chores, an' then she told me she wouldn't make me hay fries fer dinner even though t'day's Hayfriday, an' then Ah had this big ol' plan with mah friends fer t'morrow but she told me Ah had ta go runnin' errands with her, an' then Ah got mad an' threw a pillow at her an' she grounded me, an' she kept sayin' Ah gotta listen ta her on account'a she's the big sister, an' it jus' ain't fair!!" She flumped back down onto her back with a mighty flump and took a look at Discord. He was sitting beside her on the bed, wearing a set of spectacles and puffing on a bubble pipe.
"Hmm...this sounds very, very serious," Discord said gravely.
"It is!" Bloom exclaimed, sitting up. "Ah'm glad SOMEPONY noticed!" She sighed and laid back again. "Ah wish Ah could be the older sister fer once. Then Ah wouldn't hafta listen ta a thing she said." Discord raised a single brow, a smile crossing his face.
"Would you mind repeating that, my dear Apple Bloom?" the embodiment of chaos asked, flopping onto his belly and placing both hands on his chin in "I'm listening" position.
"Ah said," Bloom repeated, "Ah wish Ah could be the older sister fer once. Then Ah wouldn't hafta listen ta a thing Applejack said!" Discord's smile grew wider.
"Hmmm," he said, his eagle claw playing with his goatee. "I think I could do something about that." Bloom's head rose off of the pillow, and she stared at the mismatched being in front of her. He simply smiled at her, waggling his eyebrows.
"Whaddaya mean ya could do somethin' 'bout it?" Bloom asked, her interest piqued.
"Exactly what I said!" Discord responded, grinning and poking Bloom on her nose. "I said that I would use my magic for good from now on, and making a little filly happy is good, isn't it?" He gave Bloom a little tickle with the tip of his tail. "You just say the word, and I'll make sure that by the time you wake up tomorrow morning, you'll be the older sister." Bloom stared silently at Discord for a few moments, trying to process all of this. It all seemed just a bit too surreal. Why would Discord, the formerly-evil embodiment of chaos, suddenly show up, knowing about her argument with Applejack? Why would he come and offer to help her and offer her exactly what she'd been thinking of without asking for anything in return? Upon thinking about it now, it all seemed inconceivable. Unless...
Of course! It was a dream! That explained it perfectly! She'd fallen asleep while upset with Applejack's insistence on how anything she said went because she was the older sister. After what felt like only a few moments, she "woke up" to find Discord, probably the only one other than the princesses who was capable of granting such a wish, in her room and offering to do it for her. It all made sense to her now! She chuckled to herself, curious to see where this dream would go if she accepted. She couldn't wait to feel what it was like to be a grown-up and make Applejack do whatever SHE said.
"Okay then!" Bloom replied, beaming.
"Excellent!" Discord said. "Buuuut...I'll only do it on one condition. You have to promise me that you won't tell anypony that I had anything to do with it." Bloom blinked, confused.
"Why not?" she asked him. Discord chuckled and nudged at her with his tail again.
"Now now now," Discord said. "All you need to know is that it's a condition of the deal. I will fulfill your desire, and you won't tell anypony that I had any involvement in it. Do we have a deal?" He extended his lion paw towards Bloom, grinning like a madman. Bloom pondered this for about five seconds before figuring that there was no harm in agreeing. It was a dream, after all.
"Deal!" Bloom said, offering her hoof. Discord gladly took hold of the hoof and gave it a hearty shake.
"Wonderful!" he exclaimed, shaking vigorously before letting go of her hoof. "Now, you get yourself to bed, and when you wake up, you'll find that you've gotten exactly what you asked for." Bloom beamed and slipped under the covers, watching Discord transform once again into a cat. She gave him a wave as he exited her room. Not wanting to waste another minute in the boring part of the dream, the filly got comfortable and closed her eyes. She hoped beyond hope that this wouldn't be one of those dreams where she woke up before the good part, because this dream sure was a lot more interesting than what tomorrow had in store for her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sunlight was only barely beginning to shine through Bloom's window when she woke up. It was much earlier than she usually woke up, and her first instinct as she yawned a mighty yawn was to get back to bed. Applejack wouldn't even be up this early; there was no need for her to be.
...Or there wouldn't be if it weren't for wanting to see what it was like to be a grown-up! Bloom could barely believe she'd nearly forgotten all about the earlier part of the dream. Excitement built as she threw off her bedsheets to reveal...her regular old filly body.
"Aw, horsefeathers!" Bloom whined, slamming one hoof against the pillow. "Ah musta woken up b'fore the good part!" She pounded the pillow again, utterly disappointed with herself. This happened with all of her cool dreams! She'd missed the big final battle against the robot overlord two nights ago, lost out on seeing what the ancient treasure of the hidden tomb was a few days before that, and even more. This, though, really took the cake. It was almost as if her dreams were taunting her, offering her the most awesome stuff ever and then forcing her awake before she could see them. It was just another thing that wasn't fair.
Bloom began to turn onto her side and try to get back to sleep, but a curious sight stopped her. Last night wasn't a particularly warm one, and she would never leave her window open on a night that didn't require it. Granny Smith's constant reminders about not wanting bugs in the house had conditioned her against such a thing. Yet there was her window, wide open. Bloom knew she hadn't opened it. In fact, the only heed she'd paid to the window at all was when...
Bloom couldn't believe it. Did that actually happen last night? Was he actually here? Did she actually make that wish? But then why wasn't she older?
"Dangit, Ah shoulda known better than ta trust him," Bloom lamented. "Comes in here in the dead'a night an' makes a promise he don't even keep!" The filly couldn't think of a time where she'd been more upset with Discord. Well, actually, there was the whole "trying to turn Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world" thing. But this was an easy second place.
Bloom groaned and slipped out of bed. She was far too frustrated right now to even consider getting back to sleep, and figured a nice warm glass of water would help the process along. As she snuck past Applejack's room, she noted that for once, AJ wasn't snoring. On one hoof, this was a relief, as that sound was capable of bringing fully-grown ponies (like she should be right now) to their knees. On the other hoof, Applejack snored every single night. Something told Bloom that a lack of that bone-rattling noise meant that something was off. Despite how angry she was with AJ for denying her so many nice things, she was still her sister, and she was still concerned. Slowly, carefully, the little filly nudged her sister's door open. She looked towards AJ's bed, not knowing exactly what to expect. When she didn't see her sister's form under her covers, her nerves stood on end. Fearing the worst, she threw the covers off of AJ's bed. She stared, dumbfounded, at the tiny orange foal sleeping in her sister's place.
"...Oh, horsefeathers," was all Bloom could utter.