Coldy's Cutting Room Floor

by ColdGoldLazarus

Student Court

source

Cheerilee's been teaching about government, and as a class-building exercise, decides to set up a mock 'Night Court.' If only she'd known that the students would find a way to turn educational child's play into dangerous politics...

Set in RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse
Idea from Hilltopper

Chapter 1: Iiiideee-ah!

"And while the city-states are often at odds with one-another, when they need to present a united front, a group of ambassadors are chosen in such a way as to ensure roughly equal representation among the Griffon Kingdoms!" The mulberry teacher at the head of the room had an almost unnatural ability to inject enthusiasm into the most boring declarations, but even her normally infectious cheer was wasted on the class. Somepony in the back row yawned loudly, and it spread among the students like a virus.

Cheerilee waited patiently through the chorus of exhaustion, or at least, until she noticed something rather out of place and strode forward. "Ruby Pinch! Could you please tell me if you remember the name of the unofficial capital city of the griffin kingdoms, or would you like to explain to me, after class, what is so interesting that you can't wait until later to tell your friends?" The filly jumped in surprise, paper dropping from her mouth, but with an expression fearful enough that Cheerilee almost felt guilty.

That guilt quickly evaporated with the next words out of her student's mouth. "Umm, they eat fish, right? They're herbivores, so they eat only fish and other meats!"

The teacher willed herself to slow her breathing, putting on a fake grin. Most of the rest of the class began laughing, but she was quick to cut them off before the mockery could get too far. "You're partially correct. Griffons do eat meat, and the ones living near the coasts mostly live on fish, but the term for that is 'carnivore.' Unfortunately, we discussed that last week, so I'm going to have to ask you to put away that note and please pay better attention next time."

As she moved back behind her desk, Cheerilee gave an almost inaudible sigh and looked at today's date, scrawled in one corner of the blackboard. There were few things she well and truly hated, but what that date represented was one of them. "Mondays."

The manner in which the restaurant had been decorated was... well, 'eclectic' was the closest way to describe it, but still came far from doing the place any kind of justice. Each set of table and stools had their own color scheme, independent of the rest of the surroundings, and the walls were plastered with all sorts of random items and photos. The floor was checkered in every color of the rainbow, seemingly without any rhyme or reason to the patterns, and the employee's uniforms would likely have made somepony like Rarity faint in horror. Whenever Cheerilee stepped inside, she got an uncomfortable feeling like she was stepping into clown school or some twisted eldrich dimension. Thinking about it, she realized there was probably little difference between the two.

There were two reasons she still came here, though. Firstly, it was cheap. The Night Court's recent bout of wheeling and dealing had the frustrating side effect of rearranging the school budgets for a large part of the region, and those budget shifts had not exactly been in teachers' favor. She wasn't going to keep it a secret if asked, but neither was she going to go out of her way point out her problems. And besides, when compared against losing a house, having her eyeballs sucked out through her brain was a relatively minor concern. And besides, she thought to herself, this has nothing on some of the stuff from when I was a kid!

The other reason she came here? Because they made some bucking amazing hayfries.

All her friends, minus Lyra, who'd had a prior engagement, were seated near the back on navy-blue-and-red chairs around a painted toxic-green table. As she made her way towards them, Cheerilee grimaced apologetically. Trixie in particular, while certainly no fashion freak, was regardless gazing at their surroundings with a bemused scrunchy face, and leaned away when one of the flamboyantly-dressed waiters passed. "I'm sorry," the teacher whispered as she took her seat. "I know the place looks a bit weird, but the food's worth it. Trust me."

Ditzy nodded understandingly. "I've been here before. The hayfries are pretty good."

Of the five ponies at the table, one was chuckling in a somewhat worrying and sinister manner, one looked bored, and the other three looked on with matching expressions of horror. Their faces would not have been out of place in the audience of some sadistic play involving an eerie basement, torture, lots of ketchup packets, and maybe cupcakes, but reality was somewhat more kind. Carrot Top was the first to break out of her trance, though her expression was barely diminished. "They really did that to the count? That's just plain terrible."

Trixie's laughter finally petered out, and she looked up to see her friend's expressions. "Really? You seriously think it was that bad?" She gave them a flat look that could do Raindrops proud before returning to contemplating her hot-sauce-and-mayo-covered tofu strips. "I guess you had to be there."

"Well, we all learned a valuable lesson in friendship today: Never let Trixie tell jokes." Raindrops raised one eyebrow at the trio, pointing one forehoof at Cheerilee while ignoring a certain blue unicorn's protests. "I didn't find it that bad. Anyway, it's your turn now."

The teacher let out a sudden loud groan, causing Ditzy and Carrot Top to jump in surprise. "Sorry, but I'd like to pass." She crossed her forelegs on the table, letting her head droop onto them as her ears flattened a bit. "Today has been a bit... taxing." At her friends' questioning gazes, she elaborated. "Don't get me wrong, I love my students, but there are times..."

"Where you want to strangle them?" Trixie helpfully supplied. Raindrops opened her mouth, but after a moment, evidently thought better of what she was going to ask and closed it again. Trixie had continued speaking, anyway. "Tell us more!"

Cheerilee frowned at herself, shaking her head. "I'm a teacher, and I've worked a long time to get a job I love. I shouldn't be complaining about it... right?"

"We all have off days," Ditzy began, "and I know from experience that it's better to get things off your chest before the stress drives you crazy, and turns the rest of the week into one big off day!" Cheerilee looked like she was going to object, but after reflecting on the mailmare's words, shrugged.

"I mean, I understand that fillies and colts will be concerned with friends and cutie marks and social...stuff... but at the same time, It would be nice to teach them something and have them actually learn. And then you have them dividing up into groups and usually harassing anyone outside that group -Your daughter is one of the few exceptions, don't worry, Ditzy- and being generally rude. We weren't like that as kids, were we?" Nopony in the group offered comment.

"And then," She added, "There's the whole issue of 'Cutie Marks' versus 'Blank Flanks' going around. I definitely remember that from when I was a kid... I really don't want to have to touch the issue with a ten-foot-pole, but at the same time I feel guilty because I know that kind of bullying is really making some of the students miserable... but again on the other hoof, I'm afraid that if I try to talk to the class about it, it'll only make things worse."

She sat still for several moments, glaring down at her hayfries, before remembering her surroundings. "Sorry, I've been rambling..." She began, but was cut off as Ditzy gently patted her shoulder.

"I don't mean to margainalize your problems, because they sound like they're giving you some real troubles here, but you're not being rambly or over-complaining at all." She paused a moment, giving a slight chuckle and a grin. "For that, you'd have to ask me how my day went."

"Not to sound insensitive, but I think the next question you have to ask yourself is: 'how are you going to fix it?'" Raindrops interjected.

Trixie chuckled. "Yes, quite the fix job you'll have there; your class is sounding like a miniature Night Court!" She leaned away from Raindrops' subsequent glare, "What? It's the truth!" Their 'conversation' didn't have the chance to get much further, though, interrupted as it was by the mulberry teacher.

"You're right, Trixie; you're a genius!" Cheerilee snatched up a few items, throwing them haphazardly in her saddlebags, and rushed toward the door. "Sorry to eat and run, but I just had a great idea andthepaperworkforthiswilltakeallweekendbyeeee!"

"Was it something I said?"

"Yes, Trixie, it..."

Raindrops frowned at the path of chairs her friend had overturned in her haste, in deep thought. Trixie and Carrot Top kept talking in the background, but she was hardly listening. After several moments of replaying the conversation in her head, figuring out all the different possible implications of Cheerilee's parting words, she spoke. "Knowing us, just us both as a group and alone, knowing the sorts of things we get up to... I have a feeling this can only end badly."