The Study of a Winning Pony

by Ponibius

The Not-Date With A Winning Pony

I am not a perfect pony. I make mistakes. Those are two facts that mildly terrify me.

I do everything I can to prevent myself from making mistakes. Whenever possible, I study, I plan, I prepare, and I think an action through before committing. It’s better that way. Some ponies can afford to be spontaneous, for the consequences of their actions do not lend themselves towards catastrophes. While Pinkie’s actions can rarely be predicted with any certainty, her randomness is rarely an object of concern.

That is not the case with myself. When I make a mistake, it tends to result in Bad Things happening. You see, I think ponies should fear the mistakes of a smart pony more than a dumb pony. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is imagination. From personal experience, a smart pony is simply going to be more capable of imagining greater disasters than a less capable pony. I know how the mechanics of the universe work, how to bend the forces of the universe to my will, to do things most other ponies can’t even imagine. All it takes is one miscalculation, one misjudgement, one hasty or bad decision on my part to create a disaster. Under the stress of a parasprite infestation eating all the food in Ponyville, I attempted to create a spell on the fly to make them stop eating the food. All my spell did was cause the parasprites to eat everything that wasn’t food and all but destroy Ponyville in the process. Not many ponies can screw up by the numbers like that.

The second reason I fear the smart pony more is because the smart pony is more likely to be given responsibility, power. Ponies are far more willing to give power to a pony who they perceive as smart, knowledgeable, or wise. They always seem to come to me for help with their problems; either because of my intelligence, magical aptitude, or connections and influence, the ponies of Ponyville make me among the first ponies they come to for help. Ponies want answers to their problems—it’s only natural. They want wisdom, a quick fix, or an application of power to solve the problems of their lives. I get asked for help from everything from the relatively minor and mundane like helping with friendship problems, help with learning a spell, and or helping with a school talent show, to major and serious issues like a ursa minor or dragon attack. If there is a crisis in Ponyville, I am usually the first pony everypony comes to.

When you think about it, that’s a lot of pressure to put on one pony. It is not a responsibility I shy away from, but it does weigh heavily upon me when I reflect on it. At my word, I got the ponies of Ponyville to help me disaster proof the town based on my vague assertions that “some disaster was going to happen in a week’s time.” With but a word, I had motivated the entire town, all because they trusted my judgement. But if I misjudge, if I miscalculate, if I make a mistake, then the consequences could be dire. I could hurt the ponies around me, such as when I overpowered a Want It, Need It spell and caused half of Ponyville to get into an open brawl because I panicked over the idea of not turning in one of my friendship reports on time.

I am not a perfect pony. I make mistakes. Those two facts scare me.

That is perhaps why I worry so much about making the tiniest mistake and why I am so conscious about the possibility I could be in error. I have so much to lose now, the respect of the ponies around me, my place in Ponyville, and my great friends.

Thus, I am nagged by doubts about how I had conducted my interview with Cloud Kicker. On the surface, I found Cloud Kicker to be a reprehensible pony. Her attitude and mannerisms annoyed me to no end, and out of every interaction I’d had with her, I hadn’t found a single thing I liked about her. I didn’t like how she treated her friends, I didn’t like how she took every opportunity to make her unwanted advances towards me, and things like her abandonment of family responsibilities grated against me. In the end, I hadn’t even gotten through a third of my questions before my interview with her had broken down.

It was only then I had seen a different side to Cloud Kicker. She had been so relentless in her nymphomania that I’d been surprised that she apparently hadn’t gotten into significant trouble for it in the past. But the moment I called her a bully, her demeanor had changed. Just like that, it seemed I had taken all the wind out of her sails. All my sarcasm and aloofness had not affected her in the least, but one word had nearly brought my research project to an end.

I began to wonder if I did not understand my research subject as well as I thought I had. I would be the first to admit that I’m not the most socially savvy pony out there. In our many lessons together, Princess Celestia warned me about being too quick to judge a pony. Ponies are often far more complex than they may seem on the surface. In many ways, our interactions with a pony only make for a snapshot of their lives. The briefest moment of a continued existence and experiences that been going on for years.

I am reminded of the stories I had read from a first-pony perspective. It always struck me as interesting how much a reader’s views could be changed just based on which character they were following at the time. Throw a warrior, a poet, a healer, and a craftsmare into a scene, and you will get four different viewpoints on what happened. Even exactly what each pony thinks happened could skew wildly based on each pony’s experiences, knowledge, and personal temperament. It’s fascinating in its own right, and I can’t help but feel there is something to be learned from it.

My first impressions of my very best friends had not been very good: Applejack had come across as a pushy farmpony who met nearly every stereotype I had for the typical earth pony farmer. Rainbow Dash had struck me as a brash, arrogant, and annoying braggart who needed to concentrate on doing her job. Rarity’s seeming obsession with fashion caused me to think of her as yet another shallow and frivolous pony typical of some social circles in Canterlot. Fluttershy’s shyness had made me, a pony whose only friend had been her bigger brother up to that point in her life, feel downright sociable in comparison. Finally, Pinkie’s behavior made me think of her as a manic, invasive, and party-obsessed pony. Well, she is all those things, but—look, I get along with her too.

While my friends aren’t perfect—and who is—they are among the most wonderful ponies I have ever known. I now love them as friends, and yet I had thought so poorly of them my first day in Ponyville. It makes me feel guilty, now that I reflect on it.

How easy would it be for me to make the same mistake with another pony? Could a few bad first impressions give me the wrong idea about a pony? It was possible. There were certainly ponies who seemed to think well of Cloud Kicker, like Rainbow Dash, Derpy, and Blossomforth. On the other hoof, I could just be opening myself up for more embarrassment and humiliation from a pony who had done nothing but confound me since I met her.

And she had hurt me, there no question about that. I had been humiliated, insulted, and embarrassed to no end. On the other hoof, she seemed legitimately sorry for her behavior earlier. I really was not quite sure how to quantify these two different sides to Cloud Kicker. It would be so much simpler if I could just zap Cloud Kicker with a magical rainbow of weaponized friendship. It did wonders for Princess Luna.

Either way, I can’t think of a way to get to the bottom of this quandary without interacting more with Cloud Kicker, Princesses help me. Though, on reflection, it was one of the Princesses’ fault I was even in this situation.

Curse my instinctual need to please royalty.

I heard the expected knock on my front door. Funny how a day spent cleaning and refurbishing a basement after an explosion can fly by. I tried to put the memories of the interview of the previous evening out of my mind, but they kept coming back to my thoughts throughout the day. From there I couldn’t help but go into a continual cycle of analysis until I drove myself halfway crazy second-guessing Cloud Kicker, myself, and my actions. It had made for a day that much more stressful than it should have been.

I did my best to put on a friendly smile and opened the door.

Cloud Kicker flashed me a grin. “Heya, Duchess! Ready to head out?”

“I guess so,” I tried to say in a friendly manner, but it came across as stilted even to my ears.

She waved a hoof for me to come outside. “Hey, relax. We’re just having a friendly night out.”

I couldn’t help but give her a scrutinizing look as I walked through the doorway. I still couldn’t shake the feeling this was all one elaborate attempt to get me into a bed with her. “Right ... friendly.”

“Don’t be like that.” Cloud Kicker seemed to have regained her normally jovial spirit since the interview. “Let’s put the past few days behind us and enjoy tonight.”

“Right, just a friendly and casual get together,” I said, as much to convince myself as anypony else.

“That’s the spirit.” She gave me a friendly slap on the back. “And I have to say, you’re looking nice tonight.” I gave her a glower for the slap on the back and comment. Her smile became more strained. “Nothing wrong with just saying you look attractive, is there?”

I rolled my eyes. “I guess not.” I reminded myself to not presuppose Cloud Kicker’s intentions with a fairly innocuous compliment. No sense getting off on the wrong hoof right out the gate. Though I couldn’t help but feel we were off to a bad start given Cloud Kicker hadn’t gone five minutes into our conversation without flirting.

“Great!” Cloud Kicker waved for me to follow her. “Come on, I got just the place for us to go to.”

I walked next to her as she guided me to our destination. “Where are we heading?”

Cloud Kicker gave me one of those grins of hers that I associated with nothing good happening.

Cloud Kicker swung open the door to the tavern with a flourish. As before, the Sun’s Flank gave off a friendly, though subdued, mood with its dark, wood furniture, small dance floor, and bar. Mares milled about, usually in pairs, with a couple larger groups in the booths or gathered around a table.

“Well, here we are, Twilight! The Sun's Flank, best little hangout spot in all of Ponyville. Good food, good drinks, and all the hot plot a pony could ask for.” She grinned at me and tossed a wing across my shoulders. “And this time you can actually enjoy the atmosphere instead of spying on me.”

I jerked slightly at the unexpected touch. “Um, right. Sounds good. I guess I can give it a second shot.” I gave her a smile I hoped didn’t betray too much of my discomfort. Part of me couldn’t believe that she had brought me to this place of all places for out mare’s night out. This place only held bad memories for me after the last, and only time, I had been here. Cloud Kicker had done a pretty thorough job of humiliating me after my failed attempt at follow her without being noticed. The fact it was a fillyfooler bar didn’t help with my level of discomfort. I really had to wonder what was going on between Cloud Kicker’s ears, besides the thoughts of having intercourse.

Cloud Kicker gave an awkward shuffle and removed her wing. “Right, maybe I better tone it down a bit. Sorry, Twilight.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “So, let's keep things nice and friendly.”

I firmly nodded. “Right, I would like that.” Okay, so it could be a solid chance that Cloud Kicker really was trying to rein it in. It was perfectly possible she had chosen an establishment that she felt comfortable at without really thinking how it would affect me. Still, it brought up another issue that made me uncomfortable, and I gave her a serious look. “Also, can you not encourage other ponies to hit on me? I remember last time when you were here with Blossomforth, and...”

Cloud Kicker shrugged. “If that’s what you want.” She gave me a teasing smirk and nudged me in the shoulder. “Though if you change your mind and want a wingmare to help you out, just say the word. Although I can’t promise other ponies won’t get their own ideas and try their pickup lines on you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, the words cool. It was an offer I had no intention of taking up. I had enough to worry about tonight without adding something like courtship to the mix. At least it seemed that she wasn’t going to encourage other ponies trying to flirt with me.

Cloud Kicker waved at a light green mare sipping a drink at the bar. “Yo, Harpflank.” She stepped up to the mare, and I followed. I vaguely remembered the mare from somewhere, but I couldn’t immediately recall from where. I was going to go out on a limb and say this was probably one of Cloud Kicker’s banging buddies. Given Cloud Kicker evidence seemed to support that she has had sexual encounters with a significant percentage of the adult population of Ponyville, anypony she was friendly with probably lied without that section of the population.

The mare turned on her barstool and flashed Cloud Kicker a smile. “Oh, hi, Kicky!” She gave me a scrutinizing stare. “And ... Twilight?”

“Yep.” I offered her a hoof. “My name is Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”

She smiled and accepted the hoofshake. “Oh, I already know who you are. Who doesn't? I just didn't expect you in here, that's all.”

I stared at the mare for a second before I finally recalled where I had seen her. “Right, I've seen you around town. Playing the lyre, I believe.” I double-checked to confirm that her cutie mark was indeed a lyre. “And I’m going to guess that ‘Harpflank’ isn’t your actual name, given that’s a lyre for your cutie mark. Miss...?” Harpflank must have been Cloud Kicker’s nickname for her. Cloud Kicker seemed to have one for everypony. Maybe that was something I should ask her about later?

“No need to call me Miss,” the minty mare said. “Just ‘Lyra’ will do.”

I nodded. “Lyra, then.”

Cloud Kicker nudged me with an elbow. “Yeah, Twilight and I are just hanging out for a bit. Not as a preliminary to banging, before you ask.”

The mare tipped her glass towards the two of us. “I was going to say... But fair enough!”

I winced slightly as I realized what it must have looked like given the two of us had entered the Sun’s Flank—especially considering Cloud Kicker’s reputation. I really hoped my friends wouldn’t hear about this and get the wrong idea. That was probably impossible upon reflection. Everypony seemed to know everything about everypony else in a town like Ponyville. At least my friends knew about my study project, but still... “Yes, we have no plans to engage in ... that. Just a totally platonic hanging out.”

Cloud Kicker leaned up against the bar next to Lyra. “Yup. Totally platonic. Not that I'd mind if we changed that, but that would be entirely in her court.”

“Aaand I have no plans ... on doing that ... with Cloud Kicker, at all, or anypony.” My ears flattened as I realized how negative that must have sounded. While she was leaving open that door, probably for her own gratification, she had just said she was willing to let this get-together be casual. I gave Cloud Kicker a sheepish smile. “Um, no offense.”

Cloud Kicker waved off my comment. “None taken. Just saying, you're nice and cute.” She grinned at Lyra. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Lyra gave me the once over with her eyes, making me feel slightly uncomfortable. “Hm, you're right about that.” She gave Cloud Kicker a grin. “But I doubt she has much stamina.” I was mildly irritated on the comment about my perceived stamina.

Cloud Kicker rolled her eyes. “Oh, be nice, Lyra.”

Lyra snorted derisively. “I'm just teasing. Don't worry about it.”

I couldn’t help but do a slight frown. “Err, that’s alright. I think.”

I looked around the Sun’s Flank. “Perhaps we should get a table, then?”

“Yeah, sure.” Cloud Kicker pointed to a nice, little corner booth. “Over there work?”

I nodded. “Looks good to me.”

Lyra shuffled on her barstool and looked between the two of us. “Er, am I intruding on your time together?”

“I don't mind having you along.” Cloud Kicker looked to me. “But it's up to Twilight.”

I tilted my head as I looked back at Cloud Kicker. “I don’t think we had any specific plans on how this was supposed to go.” I shrugged. “I don't really see a problem with it. We’re just having a friendly night out.”

“No real plan beyond just hanging out and having a good time,” Cloud Kicker confirmed. “Another friend helps with that.”

I couldn’t find any fault with her logic. Plus, having another pony around would keep this from feeling like a date, which this certainly wasn’t. “Sounds good then.”

Lyra’s mouth curved into a bright smile. “Cool, thanks! Drinking by yourself does tend to get boring after a while...” Her smile became more brittle.

“Yeah, kinda does.” Cloud Kicker wrapped a wing around Lyra and lead us towards the booth. “Come on, you goof. Let’s hang out.”

“I take it you didn't have any plans for the evening?” I asked Lyra while we made our way to the booth. She shook her head in response, and I got the sense from the way she didn’t look at me that she didn’t want to talk about it. Perhaps she had a rough day?

We all sat down at the booth, it was one of the ones in the corner of the restaurant and the seating was one long, round cushion that ran around the table. Lyra scooted in first, with Cloud Kicker sitting between us, and me last. Cloud Kicker signaled to the waitress and then looked to me while the waitress made her way to our table. “What do you want to drink?” She paused for a moment, looking like she was considering something. “What can you have, anyway? I mean, Rainbow Dash says you're a pretty big magical powerhouse...”

“Err, not much really,” I said, trying to make myself comfortable in my seat. “I don't drink out of habit. Never really had anything more than a glass of anything.”

Cloud Kicker cleared her throat. “Sorry to pry, but are you an Alpha?”

“Alpha-Plus, actually,” I mumbled, feeling a bit of a blush coming on. There were only a small hoofful of Alphas—the most powerful class of unicorns—at any given time. Even rarer were those unicorns who were a cut above the other Alphas—the Alpha-Pluses. I had a couple of ancestors who were really close to that rank, but didn’t quite get classified at that level. I’m the first one in a thousand years. Yay for me. That was one of the reasons why I didn’t go around advertising just how strong I was. Knowing there was an Alpha next door could make some ponies uncomfortable. A normal Alpha, or potentially even a Beta, could do some pretty frightful things if they put their mind to it. It was even worse for an Alpha-Pluses, considering their scary reputation in history, and there had been more than one that had been a verifiable nightmare. It was better just to seem normal and relatively uninteresting.

“Yeah, just wondering if ... y'know, the whole law about Alpha-levels and stuff. I mean, it's kinda rude to just outright ask how strong a unicorn's magic is, but...” It was normally socially taboo to ask or really talk about a unicorn’s magic level. For those unicorns of a lower rank such as an Epsilon, talking about how powerful they were was the equivalent of talking about a disability. For magically powerful unicorns such as myself, it can be seen as bragging or could potentially scare those around you for the aforementioned reasons. I didn’t really like talking about my magic level as a result. It had been more than a little scary for me to show what I could do during the ursa minor attack.

Beyond which, there were a number of laws and regulations where Alphas and other highly ranked unicorns such as myself were concerned. I could get in a lot of trouble if I were to become the least bit intoxicated, for instance. Go figure, ponies got a bit worried when the judgement of a unicorn with my level of magical muscle became impaired because of alcohol. I can’t say I blame them.

I shook my head to try and reassure Cloud Kicker. “It’s okay. I know you just wanted to know how much I’m allowed to drink. It would be a bad idea for me to get drunk. No sense courting some sort of disaster like me suddenly thinking it would be funny turn everypony into sheep or ripping a hole in reality.” I let out a strained chuckle.

Cloud Kicker nodded and turned to Lyra, who seemed busy staring at the top of the table. “So yeah, let's make sure Twilight doesn't get blitzed or anything. Just a little pleasantly buzzed.” She tossed a wing around Lyra to pull her closer. “So what're you drinking, Lyra?”

Lyra shrugged, still looking down at the table. “Just some cider. For now, that is.”

Cloud Kicker signaled to the waitress. “Let's go for a round of hard ciders for everypony, then.”

“I guess some cider will be okay?” I gave Cloud Kicker and Lyra a questioning look. “I don't really know my drinks. I mean, I can list off different types of drinks, where they are produced, and various other facts and figures, but I’m no connoisseur.”

Lyra nodded to me. “Cider is a pretty good start. It isn't very strong in comparison to other stuff.”

The waitress stepped up to our table, and Cloud Kicker ordered a round of cider for us. She turned back to the rest of us before speaking. “You didn't have any trouble with Applejack's stuff, so you should be okay.”

I rubbed my chin as I considered that. “A mug of Applejack's cider wasn't too bad,” I had to admit. I felt a bit of relief as I remembered drinking at Sweet Apple Acres during cider season. “Though I didn't drink nearly as much as Pinkie did. She must have a crazy tolerance for the stuff.”

Cloud Kicker let out a brief chuckle. “Well, it is Pinkie Pie. She can eat her body weight in sugar when the mood takes her.”

A shiver ran up my spine. “I've ... actually seen her do that. I'm not sure how she survived that, but she did it.” We all came to regret Rainbow Dash daring Pinkie to eat all that sugar. Princess Celestia help me, she had been literally bouncing off the walls when she did that. It’s a minor miracle Ponyville survived that incident.

“I don't know her quite as well as you do.” Cloud Kicker gave a fondly reminiscent chuckle. “Well, I know her fairly well, but maybe not exactly the same way as you do. In any case, I've found that it's better not to ask too many questions about how she does anything.” I had to wonder how Cloud Kicker might know Pinkie, though on second thought, I wasn’t so sure I really wanted to know. That could lead to some unpleasant thoughts. The idea of Cloud Kicker and Pinkie... Nope! Going to push those thoughts away.

“If Pinkie were an equation, she'd probably be Pinkie equals Pinkie,” Lyra said, nodding wisely.

I ran a hoof through my mane as I remembered bitter memories. “I learned that the hard way. A lot of hard ways.” Hard ways that involved very large and very heavy objects landing on my head. “I theorize the universe doesn't want Pinkie solved.” Studying Pinkie had sent me to the hospital far too many times to justify my continual attempts to figure her out.

“Yeah. Confetti.” Cloud Kicker shivered. I had to thank Cloud Kicker for giving me that horrifying image in my head. I really didn't need the mental image of Cloud Kicker and Pinkie Pie doing things like that. Especially with how weird and random Pinkie could be. The mere idea of her engaging in coitus... Ack! I did not need those mental images!

“I think just about everypony in Ponyville has a Pinkie story.” I tried to put many horrible and increasingly implausible images out of my head. Curse my imagination. One of the worst parts about being so intelligent is that my brain is very good at visualizing things. Even, no, especially when I don't want it to.

Cloud Kicker grinned. “Probably. After all, as soon as you move here, she wants to be your new best friend.”

“She has a strong extroverted personality, that is for sure,” I said.

Lyra let out a hearty laugh. “She's probably the only pony I know that can have everypony singing together at once.” I had experienced that more than enough to know that was true. Even when the world was on the line, she was not above singing and getting everypony to go along with it when the mood struck her.

“She does like those crazy random songs out of nowhere.” Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Can't believe she finally hooked up with the boss, though.”

Lyra nuzzled up to Cloud Kicker. “I think it's really sweet that they did.”

Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead. “Oh, Rainbow's a total sweetheart deep down. You'll never get her to admit it, though.”

“She has a good heart. Anypony can see that.” I smiled at the thought of my steadfast friend. It really was good that the two of them had found one another. Granted, the occurrences of pranks I had been subject to was starting to increase to worrying levels.

“Oh, she definitely does. It's just wrapped up in a thick layer of ego.” Lyra grinned.

I watched as Cloud Kicker and Lyra got comfortable leaning into one another, feeling slightly awkward. It was a feeling that was becoming increasingly common for me now that some of my friends were finding other ponies romantically. “I was surprised by that. Rainbow Dash didn't strike me as the romantic type.”

“Love can strike anypony, Twilight,” Lyra said warmly.

I looked over to the bar, wondering what was taking so long with our drinks. “I'm no expert on the matter. Never really thought about it.”

Lyra gave me a lazy smile. “Hm. One day you will, I'm sure.”

I shrugged. “Maybe, anything could happen.” I didn’t know why Lyra was suddenly showing an interest in my own romantic life. It wasn’t important to our talk about Pinkie and Dash.

The waitress came back to our table and dropped off our drinks, even leaving some chips and salsa for us to eat. We thanked her and returned to our conversation.

“Now, don’t be a grump,” Cloud Kicker teased. “We're here to deal with you tonight.”

I raised an eyebrow, not liking how that sounded. “‘Deal with me?’ I thought we were just hanging out?”

Cloud Kicker released her wing hug with Lyra and leaned my way on the table. “Well yeah. Just kinda curious about you, is all. I mean, Lyra's got Bon Bon, and everypony knows that I love everypony. So ... what's up with you?”

“Um.” I looked down at the table as I gathered my thoughts. Why had the conversation suddenly taken a turn in this direction? “I'm just busy ... with everything. My studies take up most of my time, is all.” I took a sip from my cider.

Lyra smirked at me. “Sounds like you need more free time.”

Cloud Kicker took a drink from her own cider. “Well yeah, duty first and all that. Just ... even if you're busy with studying, surely you 'notice' other ponies from time to time.”

“I like studying,” I said, finding myself avoiding the question on reflex. I sighed and tried again. “And ... I don't really look at other ponies like that. It just never concerned me.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a significant look that I couldn’t read. Concern maybe?  “What? So I'm not the most romantic of ponies. There isn't anything wrong with that.”

“Never?” Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow. “Just seems a bit odd that you have absolutely zero interest in love or physicality. I mean, it's certainly possible that you have a completely dead sex drive, but that's pretty rare.”

That was statistically true. It wasn’t conducive to the survival of the pony species wasn’t if ponies weren't interested in reproductive activities. In any event, being asexual wasn’t my issue with sex and romance.

I looked down at the table, now feeling profoundly uncomfortable now that I was the topic of the conversation. “Well ... maybe I was just planning on dealing with that down the line. It's not like I have to get married and have foals at the first opportunity.”

Lyra gave me a concerned frown. “Twilight, you don't plan to fall in love. It just happens.”

I found myself falling back on the more familiar ground of debate. I was far more comfortable with academic discussions rather than about my romantic prospects to say the least. “So by your own admission, there isn't much reason to force the issue?”

Lyra looked like she was about retort with her own argument when Cloud Kicker placed a hoof on her shoulder to stop her. She nodded to Lyra and then looked at me. “Mind if we do a little experiment, Twilight?”

I narrowed my eyes at Cloud Kicker, suspicious of her intentions. “What experiment did you have in mind?”

Cloud Kicker leaned back in her seat and wrapped her wing back around Lyra. “So ... it's a good thing we ran into Lyra, really.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow as she looked at Cloud Kicker. “Er, alright then. Go on, Kicky.”

Cloud Kicker gave me one of her mischievous grins. “So, what I'm thinking is ... maybe I just make out with Lyra for a bit, and we see how that makes you feel, Twilight. You've never really looked at the issue, so ... look.”

“Wait, what?” My eyes widened as my brain tried to work through whatever logic Cloud Kicker was using. “You want me to ... observe you kissing Lyra, and then examine my own feeling on the matter? Is that what you’re getting at?”

Cloud Kicker nodded. “More or less. It's not pushing you into banging or romance or anything. Just ... getting an idea of where you stand.”

“Stand on what?” I took a swig of my cider as I tried to process what she was proposing.

“Just how it makes you feel, seeing two other ponies share a tender moment like that.” Cloud Kicker leaned into Lyra. “Aroused? Jealous? Happy that we're happy? Slightly awkward about being left out?”

Lyra grinned as she ran a hoof along Cloud Kicker’s chest. “Twilight, just think of me as the Love Doctor. Kicky is my nurse. Hellooo Nurse!”

I raised an eyebrow at that. I noticed that a few ponies were looking at us, thanks to Lyra’s little display, and that only added to my discomfort. I shook my head as I looked down at my drink. “I don’t know. I really don’t see how that is supposed to help with anything. Seems childish, really.”

Cloud Kicker sipped from her mug. “I’m just curious if you actually have a sex drive or not, and this is a pretty quick way to find out.”

I crossed my forelegs over my chest. “Why is that even important? It’s my own business if I want to express interest in other ponies in that manner or not.”

“And it’s not healthy to deny a whole part of yourself,” Cloud Kicker countered. “You may not realize it, but love and sex are kinda important.”

Lyra nodded in agreement. “Trust me, Twilight. You really don’t know what you’re missing out on. Love is a wonderful thing that everypony should experience.”

Cloud Kicker leaned my way. “Besides, it’s just one kiss. No big deal, right? You must have seen other ponies kiss intimately before.”

I took a calming breath. It seemed that my major objections to this “experiment” were being reduced one at a time.  It would probably just be easier to go along with it anyways and get it over with. That usually worked whenever my friends wanted me to try something new. “Alright, so just one kiss. After that you’ll stop bothering me?”

“If you’re still uncomfortable, then sure.” Cloud Kicker shrugged. “We’re just having a friendly night together, after all.”

I groaned irritably. Watching two ponies didn’t strike me as the way to have a “friendly night together.” “Fine, just one kiss between good friends then. It’s not me being kissed here anyways.” I realized something and looked to Lyra. “That is, unless Lyra has a problem. Wasn't there something said about you having a fillyfriend?”

“Cloud Kicker is the only pony other than Bons that can have access to me.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a friendly nuzzle. “We have an arrangement, so it's fine.”

I scratched the side of my head. Lyra’s ‘arrangement’ struck me as odd. Odd, but not impossible. I’d certainly heard of weirder things in Canterlot. “I guess that is fine if it isn't going to cause any major issues.”

Lyra gave me a reassuring smile. “I wouldn't agree to it if it did, don't worry.”

“Great.” Cloud Kicker turned to Lyra to give her a big grin. “So ... ready, sweetie?

Lyra slowly pressed her body into Cloud Kicker’s. “Whenever you are, Kicky.”

Cloud Kicker leaned in to give Lyra a tender kiss. Lyra closed her eyes upon contact and returned the kiss. I shifted uncomfortably as the silence dragged on while the two kissed. Figures they couldn't make it a swift peck on the lips. Even the scientific nature of my voyeurism didn’t make it significantly less awkward. I nearly jumped when the waitress walked up to our table, distracted as I was as Cloud Kicker pulled Lyra against her and gently stroked her mane.

“Need anymore drinks?” the waitress asked, utterly unconcerned with the two mares making out in front of her. I suppose running a fillyfooler bar would cause one to be jaded by such shows of affection.

I pulled my eyes from the pair as Lyra ran her hoof down Cloud Kicker’s chest. “Um, another round of the same.”

Lyra suddenly broke the kiss to look at the waitress. “Minty cocktail for me.” That said, she dived back into the kiss as though nothing had interrupted it to start with.

The waitress nodded and then left us to ... experiment? I took another drink of my mug of cider as I tried to watch the two of them unobtrusively. I was pretty sure I was failing. Little hard to examine something scientifically without looking like you were examining it.

Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra a few more times and then broke to whisper to her. “Feel a bit better now?”

Lyra whispered back in an alluring fashion. “Yeah, thanks. But we're focusing on Twilight here, not me.”

“I think I can spare a little time for you.” Cloud Kicker gave Lyra another kiss. “Love you, okay?”

Lyra kissed Cloud Kicker back. “I appreciate it, Kicky. Love you too.” She smiled and leaned her head against Cloud Kicker’s neck.

I was a little bit surprised to actually hear the word “love” exchanged between the two of them. At least for me, that wasn’t a word casually thrown around.

Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead and then shifted to better face me. though she still kept a foreleg wrapped around Lyra. She looked at the table and her eyes brightened at the new round of drinks. “Oh, hey, another round of drinks.” She put a hoof through the mug’s handle and took a swig.

“So they are.” Lyra lifted her own drink with her telekinesis. She nuzzled Cloud Kicker’s neck before taking a long sip.

Cloud Kicker looked to me, comfortably cuddling up with Lyra. “So, that's that. Any observations you'd care to share, Twilight?”

I found myself shifting with discomfort in my seat now that attention had been shifted back to me. I thought for a moment as I considered what I was feeling after gaining data from my observations. “Um, after observing you two, I feel ... awkward. I’m curious about the nature of your relationship. I suppose I would feel acceptance towards it if it was heartfelt interaction.”

Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow at that answer. “If it is a heartfelt interaction?” She sounded slightly offended.

I flinched at the tone of her answer. “Sorry, just that I don’t know the nature of your relationship.”

“We're good friends, Twilight.” Lyra blushed slightly as she snuggled up to Cloud Kicker. “Think about it like this: we trust each other enough to express our platonic love for each other through intimacy.”

I tapped on the tabletop as I considered what Lyra was saying. “I'm not really used to seeing ponies expressing platonic love in such an intimate way. I mean you even used the word ‘love’ a moment ago.”

“That isn't a bad thing by any means.” Lyra gave a quiet little laugh before taking another sip.

Cloud Kicker nodded at that. “I'll admit, I'm a bit more physical about showing my feelings than most ponies.”

That was putting it mildly—not unlike saying that a magpie in a glitter factory was merely 'distracted.'

“I suppose it’s a bit outside of my experience, then.” I shrugged as I thought over the information I had been given. “Not that I'm an expert on these types of things.”

Lyra waved off my concerns. “Nobody starts out as an expert, so don't worry about it.”

Cloud gave me an encouraging smile. “Yeah, it's a learning process. Took me a while to figure out the difference between meaningless banging with some random piece of hot flank and ... this.” She gave Lyra an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

“So how would you describe your relationship?” I wanted to confirm I understood what I was looking at and hearing. All of this was out of my comfort zone.

“We're good friends. We love and trust each other enough to express that friendship physically.” Cloud Kicker pulled Lyra into a sideward hug and kissed her on the side of the head. “I know Lyra is in love with Bon Bon, and I'm honored that the two of them include me in that part of their life at times.”

“Aaaw, you.” Lyra planted a quick peck on Cloud Kicker’s cheek.

My hoof tapped on the tabletop. “I think I might understand. I suppose there isn't any issue with bringing physical pleasure into a comfortable relationship dynamic. Objectively speaking.” It wasn’t really for me to judge unless they tried to bring me into it.

Lyra nodded and took a sip from her drink. “It's something we both benefit from.”

Somehow that struck me unlikely. I couldn’t see any kind of benefit other than physical enjoyment. Bringing a third pony into a romantic relationship just seemed messy to me.

“Yeah. I guess I just ... look.” Cloud Kicker let go of Lyra, her expression now serious. “I know my reputation. I'm fine with it, really. But if you wanna understand me, then you need to know that these bangs aren't meaningless to me. I share something special with a lot of these ponies outside of just banging.”

Lyra nuzzled Cloud Kicker’s neck. “And that’s something I really admire Cloud Kicker for.”

“Right.” I let out a long breath. “I'm trying to understand you. I guess I just never considered that, um, a pony with your lifestyle would develop intimate relationships with ... those she is spending time with.” I realized how that might sound, and quickly sought to explain my words. “I'm ... trying to not be insulting here.”

Cloud Kicker sighed with a nod. “I get that. Us not understanding each other was kind of a problem, so I'm trying to fix that.”

I ate a couple of the chips from the bowl. “I guess I need to expand my horizons from a conventional Canterlotian relationship dynamic.”

Cloud Kicker let out an amused snort. “Oh, Twilight, Canterlot has some very diverse relationship dynamics.”

I thought about that and remembered the various statistics I had seen for Canterlot and Equestria in general where family dynamics were concerned. Two ponies in a committed relationship and possibly having foals between themselves was the most common type of relationship out there, but it was far from the only relationship type practiced in Equestria. “Um, yes.” I cleared my throat. “I suppose it does, now that I think about it.”

Lyra shrugged as she partook of the chip bowl. “Depends where you lie on the social ladder.”

“True.” Cloud Kicker flashed a grin. “Come to think of it, all three of us were born and raised in Canterlot, weren't we?”

Lyra smirked. “Huh. Funny that.”

I turned to Lyra. “You're from Canterlot as well?”

“Yep. Went to Canterlot College too ... but ... eh.” Lyra took a sip of her drink as she trailed off.

I frowned, as I thought over that, along with everything I knew about Lyra.  Had she not finished college? That would explain her reaction. “But you ended up here? Playing on the street as a busker?”

“Well, you're talking to a pony who spent four years learning how to be a soldier then started pushing clouds,” Cloud Kicker said flatly.

Lyra gave the briefest frown. “Nothing wrong with that, is there?”

My ears flattened. “No, of course not. Just... without knowing your situation, that doesn't strike me as very ... ambitious for a musician from Canterlot. Plus the bits can’t be great in a small town like this.” I was starting to form an image of some of the type of company Cloud Kicker might keep. Or maybe certain types of ponies were drawn to Cloud Kicker? Maybe there were certain criteria that were common between Lyra, Rainbow Dash, Derpy, Blossomforth, and her other friends? I wasn’t quite sure yet. I would need to draw some graphs to see if I could find anything out. Right now the most productive thing I could do was gather data.

Lyra shuffled a bit. “I'm not in it for the fame.”

“I see.” I took a sip from my mug, finish the first one off. “Then what are you in it for?”

“The music itself.” Lyra nodded firmly.

I pursed my lips. “Sounds like it would be a rough lifestyle.” I wasn’t quite sure how a town like Ponyville could give a pony playing on the streets a comfortable lifestyle. I knew a musician could do well for themself if they did things like regularly toured or got hired by an orchestra, but I wasn’t quite sure how Lyra got along. ‘For the music itself’ was a good way to end up very poor. They did call them starving artists for a reason.

Lyra rubbed at her upper foreleg. “Pursuing your passions usually is.”

“I think it’s pretty cool.” Cloud Kicker gave Lyra a supportive wing hug.

“I guess it's sort of a side thing.” Lyra shrugged halfheartedly.

My ears perked. “Oh, you have something else you do?”

Lyra’s ears, on the other hoof, flattened slightly. “That's ... a work in progress. It's not important, so don't worry.”

Even I could tell that all was not well here with Lyra. Was she having trouble paying her bills? Looking for a new job maybe? Student debt could certainly leave a pony in a bind. Even if they just went for a semester or two and before dropping out. I hated seeing a pony in trouble, even if I didn’t know them too well, like Lyra.

I gave Lyra an encouraging smile. “Well, if you ever need a little help, you can always stop by the library.”

“I'll consider it, thank you.” Lyra gave me a small nod.

“Thanks, Twilight.” Cloud Kicker reached out with a wing to wrap me in a hug. I stiffened at the touch of her wing, and Cloud Kicker immediately hesitated when she saw my discomfort.

Lyra looked between the two of us. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing!” My voice was at a higher pitch than it normally was.

Lyra gave me a skeptical look. “It was just a hug. I'm sure you hug your other friends all the time.”

Cloud frowned and withdrew the wing. “Look, sorry, Duchess. Just ... y'know, I was grateful and all. Not everypony would offer help to a pony they barely know.”

I put my hooves up apologetically. “Sorry, sorry, just ... things.” That sounded like a lame excuse even to me. I couldn’t be made that upset by a simple hug, could I? Apparently if it was from Cloud Kicker, it seemed I could. “I guess it was sudden, is all.”

“Right.” Cloud Kicker drew in a long breath and opened her wing for me. “Hug?”

I rolled my eyes as Cloud Kicker gave me a hopeful smile, as much due to my own squeamish reaction as anything Cloud Kicker did. “I guess there isn't anything wrong with a completely platonic hug.” I leaned in to give her a quick, completely platonic hug. The type friends give each other and nothing more. Despite that, I found my cheeks warm a bit as I felt her body heat from the close contact.

Cloud Kicker gave me a final quick squeeze before releasing the pressure, though she kept a wing wrapped around me. I acted like an adult and told myself it was no big deal. “Thanks, Twilight.”

“It’s nothing,” I said, trying to brush the hug off as nothing important.

A thought struck me as I considered the hug we just had and the physical contact Cloud Kicker had with Lyra earlier. “So, I’m guessing physical contact makes you more comfortable then?”

Cloud Kicker smiled. “I've always been a kinda physical sort of pony, yeah.”

Lyra smiled as she munched on a couple of chips. “It's just another way of expressing emotion. Nothing wrong with that at all.”

I rubbed at my chin as I thought the idea over. “Ah, I guess I've just never been the type.” I shrugged before grabbing another chip.

It made enough sense. Ponies often sought physical contact with those around them depending on their relations with them and their own personal tendencies. I certainly exchanged hugs and other types of familial physical contact with family. Pinkie and Dinky were very huggy ponies—Pinkie possibly not even understanding the concept of personal space. Comparatively, ponies like Dash were much more reluctant to come into contact with another pony.

Cloud Kicker gave me an encouraging nod. “Everypony has their ways of handling things.”

I worked to keep myself from shifting in discomfort as my shoulder pressed against Cloud Kicker’s. “I suppose that makes sense. Dad was always more touchy with others than Mom or I ever were.”

Cloud Kicker shifted so that she could hug Lyra with her other wing. Lyra lifted up Cloud Kicker’s mug so that she could take a sip from it. “Thanks, Lyra. Kinda hard to hug and drink at the same time.”

“No worries.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a loving smile. “Just prod me when you want to drink.”

“Can do.”

Lyra cast a spell that made an odd claw-like appendage appear on her hoof, though the digits appeared much smoother than Spike’s. It was more like a hand from one of the arms of a minotaur. She ran one of the digits along Cloud Kicker’s chest. I was really hoping she wasn’t going to make out with Cloud Kicker when we were all this close to one another.

Cloud Kicker smirked down at the hand spell.  “Love the idea, sweetie, but let's not get too frisky while Twilight's here.”

Thank Princess Celestia that Cloud Kicker, of all ponies, was keeping this from escalating. That was quickly reaching places I did not want to go.

“Oh, sorry.” Lyra smiled sheepishly as she dispelled the magical construct.

The tension in the air was reaching a level that started to make me feel awkward. I couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel next to Cloud Kicker and Lyra. “Well if you two want to ... I can just excuse myself, no problem. Plenty of books I can read back at the library to spend the evening with.” I chuckled awkwardly. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what those two must have been thinking about doing with one another.

Cloud Kicker shook her head. “No, no. This is our girls' night out for bonding and stuff. No way I'm leaving you behind, Twilight.”

“I don't want to—how do you put it—cramp your style,” I said. And I really didn’t want to subject of a threesome to come up.

Lyra reached over to put a hoof on my foreleg. “I was just acting silly. And I don't want to cramp your style.” She gave me a playful grin. “Forget about it and just relax.”

“It’s fine, really.” Cloud Kicker gave me a sultry smirk. “I can make out with you too, if it'll help.” She must have seen the fierce scowl I shot at her, because she immediately frowned after she had joked, probably, about making out with me. “Sorry, was that insensitive?”

I looked down at the table, all the more conscious of Cloud Kicker’s wing around me. “It's ... fine. It was just a joke, right?” I gave her a smile that felt tight around the edges.

“Mostly.” Cloud Kicker’s lips curved into a small smile. “Though I wouldn't really mind—you're a nice mare with many admirable qualities.”

I felt myself blushing and took a sip from my drink in an attempt to cover the blush. I wasn’t used to compliments like that. Even when they weren’t from Cloud Kicker. I tried to segue the conversation to something other than Cloud Kicker flirting with me. “So do you always flirt with everypony? I mean, I see you doing it with Blossomforth all the time, but it never seems to go anywhere. I guess I have trouble telling when you are being serious or not.”

Cloud Kicker looked up at the ceiling, and I could see the gears moving in her head. “I guess it varies a lot. I mean, I'm pretty flirty just by nature, but not all flirting is equal, I guess. With Blossom, it's just our way of kinda joking and messing around.”

I tapped on the brim of my mug as I considered my words. “Still seems like you flirt a lot. You were doing it with me and Lyra just a little bit ago. Makes it hard for me to tell when you're just trying to socialize or if you're being serious.”

“Yeah, I flirt a lot.” Cloud Kicker nuzzled Lyra on the cheek, who in turn giggled at the touch. “S'part of who I am. I guess what I was trying to say when it comes to you is ... well, you're cool enough that I wouldn't mind seeing about getting physical sometime. Not as some sort of lustful sexytime thing, but just as a ... I dunno. Hard to explain it, really.”

“Well that doesn’t make this awkward,” I said sarcastically, motioning towards the wing Cloud Kicker had around me. I facehoofed at how nasty that sounded. “Sorry, its just ... I’m not sure I’m getting this. From what you’re saying, you want to—how to put this—make our relationship deeper, but its not like one of your more casual relationships?” I groaned with frustration.

Cloud Kicker sipped at her own drink before answering me. “It's not a hedonism thing, though I would certainly enjoy the physical part of it too. So I guess what I was trying to say is, I wouldn't mind sharing that kind of intimate connection with you.”

“Can't fault her for her honesty, Twilight.” Lyra leaned into Cloud Kicker. “Though you two probably need to get to know each other better first before you do anything crazy.”

After considering it for a moment, I did believe Cloud Kicker. I wasn’t exactly going to jump at the offer to be intimate with her, but I did think she was telling me the truth about having a stronger connection with me. Being intimate like that without being committed to them was just something that was outside of the relationship paradigms I was used to.

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” I shook my head. “I don't know. I guess if I'm being analytical about it, I suppose the fact that I've never had any kind of romantic relationship makes me nervous about the whole idea.”

Lyra gave me a reassuring smile. “It's okay to be nervous. I remember when I first met Kicky, and she asked to get intimate with me. You should have seen the look on my face.” Lyra made a face that was contorted between bewilderment and disgust.

Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Yeah, I did come onto you a little strong, Lyra. What can I say? The hand spell got me.”

“I'm glad I agreed to it.” Lyra pecked Cloud Kicker on the cheek.

“Me too, love.” Cloud Kicker kissed her on the lips in return.

Cloud Kicker tightened her wing around me. “You're pretty cool, Twilight Sparkle. I'm glad we're finally getting to be friends.”

Were we friends now? I knew from my studies that it could be a blurry line from when you crossed the line from casual acquaintance to actual friend. So it was possible we were at least becoming friendly with one another. I supposed that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to just be friends, at long as intercourse didn’t become a factor. While terribly awkward, the night hadn’t gone terribly by any means.

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that is alright.” Needing more time to contemplate where my relationship with Cloud Kicker stood, I decided to switch topics again. I was gathering quite a bit of information for my research project tonight. So at least I was getting that much done. “So when it’s you two and Bon Bon, what is that supposed to be? Like ... an intimate moment between friends or something?”

“Yeah, I guess that's a good way to put it.” Cloud Kicker popped a chip in her mouth. “Plus it's just a lot of fun.”

I tapped my lips as I thought over the relationship dynamic before me. “I suppose that’s nice if that works for all of you.”

Lyra smiled fondly at Cloud Kicker. “Mhm, it is.”

“Yeah, it is nice. I just love having ponies to love. I love Blossom, 'cause she's just the best friend a pony could have. I love Derpy, 'cause she's always a bubbly, little ray of sunshine. And Dash, 'cause she's always been there for me, even when we've both messed up.”

Lyra snuggled up against Cloud Kicker. “If you give Cloud Kicker some love, you'll definitely get some back.”

“Um, so it seems.” I was beginning to worry that Cloud Kicker had a bit too much to drink given how much she was throwing the word “love” around. “She certainly seems to have a lot of love in her.”

“Oh yeah.” Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead. “I love Lyra for being this artsy fun-lover who's never afraid to try something new. And Bon Bon for knowing how to be serious without ever turning into a total downer.”

Lyra nudged Cloud Kicker in the ribs. “So, Kicky, why do you love Twilight? Or like her, at the very least.”

Now that made me feel awkward. “She doesn't need to do anything like that, really,” I said, trying to put a hoof down on that conversation line.

“Oh, I think I do.” Cloud Kicker grinned at me. “Well, the obvious starting place would be her brains and her determination. Hay, she stuck with the whole studying me thing even after I made a pretty horrible first impression. And now she's taking the time to really get to know me properly, giving me a fair chance and letting me pull her a bit outside her comfort zone.”

I felt my blush reaffirm itself. “Oh, that's ... really nice of you to say.” I’d heard such compliments before in so many words, but there was something in the way Cloud Kicker said it that I couldn’t put my hoof on. Then I felt a twinge of guilt over how I had thought about her at the start of this project. I frowned and played with my cup. “Especially when I let my preconceptions temper my judgement. Not to mention I didn't exactly plan on giving you a second chance before.”

Cloud Kicker nudged me in the shoulder. “Nopony's perfect, Twilight. I didn't get that I was giving you the wrong impression. It happens.”

I waved a hoof to dismiss the whole depressing business. “It's in the past now anyways, right? No sense dwelling on it.”

“Exactly.” Cloud Kicker fell into a moment of silence before addressing me in a serious tone. “Twilight, do you find me attractive?”

Well that hadn’t been sudden.

“What?!” I yelled loud enough for several ponies turned our direction. I nearly started choking on air, and I ducked my head down and spoke much more quietly. “Sorry, but ... you want to know what?”

“I’m just curious, I guess.” Cloud Kicker took a moment to sip from her drink. “Also, it’ll give me a idea of what you like.”

“She just wants to know if you think she’s hot or not.” Lyra smiled reassuringly at me. “It’s not like she’s asking you to make out with her or anything.”

“Well, um.” I gave Cloud Kicker a scrutinizing look. After thinking about it, I couldn’t see much harm in thinking about the issue logically. I examined her body scientifically, examining it features for a few seconds before answering. “You’re somewhere within the top thirty to forty percentile for height. You have a tone and balanced muscle mass of an athlete without it being too pronounced as to be outside of perceived norms. Your mane style is acceptable within popular culture. Then your coat and mane compliment each other very well within the color wheel.”

Cloud Kicker smirked teasingly.  “Thanks. You're sexy too.”

“Err, that is, I’m not saying...” I took a moment to sip my drink to get my brain and mouth to resolve their differences. Actually, the alcohol probably wasn’t going to help me think now that I contemplated it. I really wasn’t used to having alcoholic beverages on hoof. “I'm not saying you make me aroused, just stating scientific facts about your appearance.”

Cloud Kicker gave an amused chuckle. “Nothing wrong with calling a pony attractive, Duchess.”

I straightened myself in my seat to make myself look more serious. “All I’m saying is that you’re aesthetically pleasing. That’s it, nothing more.” The awkwardness of the conversation was starting to make my heart race. Why couldn’t I just talk about how statistically attractive a pony was without it causing me to feel uncomfortable?

“Don’t be all defensive, Twilight.” Lyra wrapped a leg around Cloud Kicker’s and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Kicky’s a sexy pony. It’s okay to say so.”

“You’re not bad-looking yourself, sweetie.” Cloud Kicker pecked Lyra back.

“Thanks.” Lyra looked over to me. “But yeah, you’re a looker yourself. I’m surprised I haven’t heard about you dating anypony yet.”

I shook my head. “I don’t date. Frankly, I’ve never even kissed a pony before so—”

“Really?” Cloud Kicker interrupted. “You haven’t kissed anypony before?”

Now I was really regretting having drank as much as I had. It was causing me to slip things out I didn’t mean to. Why did Applejack cider have to taste so good?

Lyra shot me a skeptical look. “Wait, as in never-never? No pecks on the lips? Surely you must have gotten a few smooches to the cheek in school from some sweetheart?”

I shook my head. “Like I said, it’s just not important to me.” I was starting to sound like a broken record on that point. Not the best way to win an argument.

Lyra’s ears slowly flattened on her head. “That’s, no offense, kinda sad. As in, I’m sad you’ve never experienced that before, sad.”

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t sad in any sense of the term. “I’m fine, Lyra. You don’t need to worry about me. I still have plenty of things to enjoy in life. Even if you want to talk about my social life, it’s not like I’m a shut-in anymore. I have plenty of friends and other social activities I take part in now.”

I didn’t see why Lyra was making such a big deal of this. I mean this was just kissing we were talking about. Ponies did it all the time. It was just a basic show of affection between ponies who had a certain level of attraction to one another. No big deal.

“Yeah, but this’s love we’re talking about,” Lyra protested.

I let out an exasperated sigh. “So I don’t have romantic prospects right now. It’s not the end of the world.”

“If I could ask you something, Twilight?” Cloud Kicker’s expression became serious as she looked at me. “Do you not like kissing?”

I rubbed the back of my neck as I thought about the disquieting question. “Um, I’m not saying there’s anything bad about it. I’m just not interested, is all.”

I could feel Cloud Kicker studying me after I answered her question. “But you can’t really say if you like it or not because you’ve never experienced it before?”

“Um, I guess not,” I conceded.

Cloud Kicker’s gave me a sly grin. “Maybe you should consider gathering some empirical data someday?”

I gave her a skeptical look. “Let me guess, you want me to gather that data with you?”

Cloud Kicker shrugged; it was a bemused motion. “If you want to, then I won’t complain.” She wrapped a leg around Lyra to draw her closer. “Though Lyra here is a pretty fantastic smoocher too.”

I took some time to sip on my cider, glancing around and seeing that some ponies were looking at us through the corner of their eye. I looked back at Cloud Kicker and Lyra and shook my head. “I’m good. The idea just isn’t appealing to me right now.”

“Oooh, too bad.” Lyra pouted before taking a swig of her drink.

“That’s your decision, then.” Cloud Kicker patted me on the shoulder. “So ... what's next for mares’ night out?”

I offered a silent prayer of thanks that the topic of the conversation had finally changed. I looked around desperately to find anything else to talk about.

“I might have suggested dancing.” I motioned towards the little dance floor the Sun’s Flank had. “But my friends told me that I should avoid dance floors in public.”

Cloud Kicker looked at me skeptically. “Oh, it can't be that bad...”

I gave Cloud Kicker a flat look. “The Princess invited me to a formal dance when I was thirteen. I was, politely, never invited again. Seems that my invitations kept getting lost in the mail. The only times my friends let me dance is when we are in private and at my birthday party. Even my own parents don’t bring me along for any dance function in Canterlot.” Lyra giggled in such a way that made me suspect that she had maybe had one too many to drink. She had been at the Sun’s Flank before we had shown up, so it was certainly possible she had already had a few.

Cloud Kicker looked at me with amused skepticism. “So ... what you're saying is that you don't know how to dance?”

I smirked as I shrugged. “The mind is willing, but the body is unable. Bit of a genetic condition that runs in the family called ‘all-left-hoofism.’ It’s a malady I’ve learned how to cope with it over the years.”

Cloud Kicker gave me a playful nudge on the shoulder. “I'm tempted to suggest we just go out on the dance floor and give it a whirl anyway, but I suspect I'd regret tempting fate like that. It’d be like asking Derpy to handle anything flammable. So, I think I'll just take your word for it. You don't need dancing skills to be a great pony.”

“Pff.” Lyra tried to stand up, but the attempt nearly caused her to swoon and fall to the floor, and she sat back down again. “Who cares if you're not good at dancing? Dance for the fun of it!”

I pushed aside memories of how my dancing had been mistaken for me suffering a seizure on a couple occasions. “Trust me. It’s for the best. Perhaps we can find something else to do?”

Cloud Kicker stretched in her seat. “I'm open to suggestions.”

I started to go through my mental checklist of possible social activities we could do this late in the evening. “What else is available on an evening like this? Ponyville isn't exactly the largest town in Equestria. I doubt there would be something like a play going on.”

“True.” Cloud Kicker crossed her forelegs in front of her chest and looked to be in deep concentration. “Aside from one or two hang-out spots, the nightlife's not that crazy here.”

Lyra tapped at the table. “Hm, there is the bowling alley.” She paused and then shook her head. “Nah, it’s closed now.”

“Only other thing I can think of is to head to one of our places to hang out. As fun as Pinkie's”— I spelled out the next word, —“p-a-r-t-i-e-s can be, they can be a bit tiring in abundance.”

Cloud Kicker grunted and nodded. “Yeah, especially after she went into party overdrive mode after hooking up with Rainbow. Not that the ‘Applejack's hat fell off but didn't get messed up or dirty, so let's have a party!’ party wasn't fun, but...”

As I had come to learn all too well, Pinkie’s parties were just something you had to experience in moderation. Pinkie could get a little bit exuberant at times—okay—very exuberant. She meant well, but she could go overboard at times.

“Hm, wanna just head over to the lake or somewhere and hang out for a bit?” Cloud Kicker turned to Lyra and gave her a hopeful smile. “Maybe have Lyra play us some music?”

Lyra stood up, and while a bit shaky, managed to keep from falling over. “I'd gladly do that, but I'd have to zip home and get my lyre first.”

Cloud Kicker scooted around the booth and stood up. “Great, how about we just meet you out by the lake?”

Lyra nodded. “I'll go ahead and get it then.”

“That sounds fine with me.” Though I grew curious about the fact that Lyra even needed to go home to retrieve her instrument. “Don't you know a item retrieval spell for your lyre?” Every unicorn musician I knew had a basic retrieval spell for at least one of their instruments. It had the decisive advantage of removing the need to drag their instruments all around town or in the event they wanted to make an impromptu performance, as was the case here.

Lyra froze in her tracks and gave me a strained grin. “Err ... no, I don't. Nope... Just meet me there and find a nice spot. I'll see you two in a bit!” She made for a hasty exit before I could inquire further. Strange, very strange. Did Lyra perhaps have a magical disability and didn’t want to talk about it?

I watched as Lyra trotted her way out of the Sun’s Flank before turning to Cloud Kicker. “So, I guess we're heading over to the lake?”

“Sounds like it.” Cloud Kicker dropped some bits onto the table to pay for the meal. “My treat.”

“You really don’t need to.” I moved to retrieve my own bit bag. “I can pay my share at least.”

Cloud Kicker put a hoof on my bit bag to hold it in place. “Please, let me pay. Just something to say I’m sorry for everything.”

“I wasn’t exactly completely innocent in all of this either,” I countered.

Cloud Kicker nudged me towards the door to move me along. “Come on, I don’t wanna be the type of friends who feel they need to play tit-for-tat. I just want to do something nice.”

I let Cloud Kicker lead me along. It’s not like it was an outrageous sum we were talking about. “I guess that’s alright.” Then another thought occurred to me. “Wait, did Lyra just skip out on paying?”