I wasn't awake long before someone noticed. The nurse pony must have been keeping a close watch on me. Lero was probably staying there too, because they came into my hospital room together. Lero was following. He spoke first, though.
"Gus? How are you?" he asked. The words seemed pressed together, but I could make them out.
I'd already taken stock, so it was easy to answer. "Much improved. As far as I can tell. I can think and understand you. It's been a long time since I could do either of those."
His voice slowed. It became easier for me to follow him. "I'm sure you're wondering what's happened to you. I don't know any easier way to say this, but you're not on Earth any more."
"Of course he's on Earth!" the nurse said. I could hear a sharp rising tone toward the end of her sentence and tried to remember what that meant. I couldn't.
"Not our Earth," Lero continued, emphasizing the mutual possessive. "You and I are the only humans here, as far as I know. There are people, just not humans. This is Nurse Redheart. Just like she looks, she's a pony. Her type is called an earth pony. Doctor Vital Signs was the unicorn who healed you. There are also pegasi. You'll meet some of them later. Ponies are the majority of the population here." He was speaking slowly and holding his arms to his sides, showing both hands. I thought there was some significance to his posture, but the meaning escaped me.
I sat up, carefully. I did not feel dizzy, nor did I have any other notable symptoms. "I understand. Thank you, Nurse Redheart."
The cross-hatted pony tilted her head and took a small step toward me. "You're taking this very calmly," she said.
"I thought I was going mad when I woke up and had talking ponies all around me," Lero agreed. "It took a while before I accepted that this was all real."
I nodded. That gesture I could still remember. "I have an advantage, then. I've had a long time to understand that my brain doesn't work right. Maybe this is real, maybe I'm having a complete breakdown. Either way all I can do is make the best of it. If I am mad, talking ponies and helpful unicorns is better than Cthulhu."
"What's Cathooloo?" Nurse Redheart asked.
Lero patted a hand on her back. "A monster from a made-up story. I promise, Gus, you're not crazy. But I get what you're saying. You can't tell."
I nodded again. "And it doesn't matter." I changed topics. "Am I healthy otherwise? I remember being in pain, but I feel good now."
The nurse looked back at Lero. He hunched his shoulders, then relaxed them. I had to think before I could identify the movement as a shrug, and then remember that a shrug meant uncertainty. I took it as a positive sign that I could figure it out at all. Body language was apparently not as easy to recover as verbal language.
"You had several other injuries when you came in," Nurse Redheart told me. "Burns around your ankles and a gouge in your chest, with two broken ribs under it. Doctor Signs started healing them, but you'll need to stay for at least a week while we work on them. You're probably going to have scars."
"How did I get those?" I asked. It seemed like a useful thing to know, but I noted my own lack of curiosity. It was a reflexive question. I considered the possibility of being on some sort of medication. Lingering anesthesia would explain a lot. But if that was the case, would I be thinking clearly enough to notice?
"I was hoping you might know," Lero said. His expression changed, but I couldn't figure it out. "I'm happy here in Equestria, but I'd still like to find out how I got here."
"Am I being medicated?" I asked.
The nurse shook her head. I could recognize that gesture too. "We don't know what's safe to use on humans, and you responded well to magical treatment. Do you feel something?"
"No. That's the problem. I should be feeling something. Happy to be fixed. Worried to be in a new place. Something. But I'm not. If I'm not being drugged, then there's still something wrong with me." I didn't bother to mention my trouble with their body language. That I was willing to put down to an extended lack of practice.
"I'm afraid there probably is," came a new voice. The bright green unicorn in the doorway was the one who I'd seen before. Doctor Vital Signs, I presumed. "Lero tells me your people have a hard time treating brain injuries. Yours was old enough that I couldn't simply heal it, not without doing other damage. Like a scar, in a way. And even with magic, brains are delicate things. It's going to take time and careful observation to finish the restoration. You seem to be very good at self-reflection, so it may go quickly."
"Doctor Signs," I said. "Thank you. If I never fully recover, this is still a huge improvement."
His head lifted. I tried to associate the movement with something. Maybe he was pleased to be thanked? It was like trying to read letters out of symbols all over again, but with a far, far larger alphabet and no definitive answers.
"I'm glad I was able to help," he told me. "I'm as close to an expert on human medicine as Ponyville has, and Lero doesn't give me too many opportunities to study him."
"I make no apologies for not spending more time in need of healing," Lero said. I could recognize the joke, and both ponies smiled. I put it down as another positive sign. In time I'd learn to laugh, I promised myself.
"A healthy patient is better than a research paper any day," Doctor Signs said. "And speaking of which, it's time for your treatment, Gus. Please lie back and relax. I'm not going to do anything to your brain today, but your burns need tending."
I obeyed. I felt a tug at my chest and looked down. A green glow was surrounding his horn, and a matching field was pulling the lower hem of my shirt up. I could see bandages around my wrists and ankles unwinding, and a white gauze pad on my chest lifting up. I had a brief twinge of pain from each spot as the fabric pulled away, but it was only momentary. Considering the black marks on my wrists, I concluded that 'magical treatment' was a very effective pain reliever. The burns encircled each wrist and each ankle, and I felt very sure I knew what they were from.
I simply had no idea why I would have been shackled up. Or, looking at the injury to my chest, why someone would have screwed something into my ribs. I looked at Lero's face and mentally catalogued his expression as either horror or pity.
Nurse Redheart cleared her throat. "Lero? Would you mind stepping out? I know you can't catch Equestrian diseases, but he's not Equestrian either. I don't want to find out what a human infection is like."
Lero backed away, lifting his hands, palms forward. "Oh! Right. Gus, I'll be here. Don't worry."
"That doesn't seem likely to be an issue," I said. Lero laughed, and left the room.
The doctor lowered his head and slowly waved his horn over me, starting with the chest. I noted the spiral groove in his horn, given the up-close view, and the sharpness of the tip. I was not afraid, but I didn't need an emotional reaction to figure out that poking myself on a spiky bit would be a bad idea. I could see my skin responding to his magic. The gouge was slowly filling in, and when he moved to my wrist I could see the blackened areas flaking away to reveal shiny new pink skin underneath.
It only took a few minutes for Doctor Signs to finish his work. I could feel a distinct tingling in the areas where he had healed me, edging on stinging. When he put the bandages back in place, the stinging stopped. I assumed the bandages were magical as well.
"I'll come back in the afternoon for another treatment," he told me. "Until then, Lero has volunteered to start teaching you about Equestria. Princess Celestia has requested an interview with you as well, but said if you need more time to adjust, she is willing to wait."
I considered. Whether or not 'Princess' was a ceremonial title or an actual one, it seemed likely to be someone important. If I was going to live here, whether 'here' was inside my own head or not, starting out by cooperating with someone important was probably a good idea.
"I'll be happy to... well, I'll speak with her when she wants to." I hadn't been quite so precise with my vocabulary, once upon a time, but somehow it seemed dishonest to lay claim to happiness I didn't feel.
***
Lero spent several hours filling me in on the vital details of Equestria. Absolute monarchy transitioning to a power-sharing arrangement between Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna, who were directly responsible for magically moving the sun and the moon, respectively. A mostly agrarian society with certain advanced sectors, mostly magic-based, with direct control over the weather. The unit of currency is the 'bit' and equine puns abound, though the ponies themselves do not recognize them as puns. Spontaneous musical numbers which humans cannot hear, aside from listening to singing. Most everyone being vegetarian or piscatarian, except for some outside species. Gem-eating dragons. And other matters.
"Pony society is based a lot on the herd," Lero told me. "They have a big gender imbalance, multiple mares per stallion. So gender roles are kinda swapped from Earth. Stallions used to be basically property, like wives in the Dark Ages on Earth. They've tried to fix that, but they still tend to be protective of males. Even human males."
He swallowed. I remembered what that meant. He was nervous about something he was going to say, if I remembered right. "Since there are more mares than stallions, ponies form herds. One stallion with three or four mares, or two stallions with six to eight. That way, when the mares go into heat, the stallions can take care of all of them. Polygamous relationships are normal, as is bisexuality. Only liking one gender is considered being 'bent,' regardless of which gender it is, while being bisexual is 'straight.' Monogamy is considered selfish, but there's not a polite term for it other than 'monogamous.'"
I nodded. I could follow the concepts. It made sense, from a systematic perspective. I'd tried game theory back when I was still a math major. It hadn't clicked for me, but I could still apply it when I needed to.
Lero let out a loud breath and spoke rapidly. I couldn't make out any of it.
"Lero, slow down. I can't understand you if you talk fast," I interrupted.
He stopped, inhaled, exhaled, and started again. "I know it might sound strange, but I'm in a herd too. I fell in love with a pegasus named Rainbow Dash, and then with two unicorns, Twilight Sparkle and Lyra Heartstrings. There are other non-pony races in Equestria and interspecies relationships are tolerated." He paused there.
I looked at him. He might as well have been a DOS prompt, sitting and waiting for input. "Yes?"
He blinked. "I... Sorry. It's just been so long since I saw another human face, and I..." He shrugged again and I recognized it. Progress. "I suppose I built myself up to being defensive about my relationships. I thought I'd have to stand up for them."
I considered shrugging back, but it felt again dishonest to attempt to show confusion when I didn't feel any. But then I thought shrugging had other possible meanings. I held off until I knew for sure. "I'm still learning how the rules work here. Talking ponies and magic unicorns are normal. Orbital mechanics operate at the whim of two princesses. I'm not feeling anything. Until I know more, forming any kind of expectations seems pointless. You having three pony wives is part of the world."
His muscles relaxed. He was, I could see, in good shape. No short-distance mechanized transport, and all the ponies I'd seen so far were much too short to comfortably ride on, if that was even socially acceptable. I would probably end up in good shape too, walking everywhere.
"I'm still sorry Vital Signs couldn't heal everything. We'll get you feeling again," he promised. "And in the mean time, even so, it means a lot to me to hear it from another human. I love my girls, and I wouldn't let anything get between them and me, but it's a relief."
"You're welcome," I told him.
***
Doctor Signs came, did his magic, checked my vitals (and compared them to Lero's for a baseline), and told me that Princess Celestia was going to come in. Lero sat in a too-small chair against the side wall. He appeared to have tensed up again. I was unsure why. He had told me about the thousand-year-old alicorn, how she was universally loved as a kind and just ruler, and how his Twilight Sparkle was her personal student. I guessed that he might be daunted by the idea of talking to the ruler of the local kingdom.
A very large pony entered. Had I not been informed better, I would have probably said 'horse.' Her horn was substantially longer than Doctor Signs', and she had two magnificent feathered wings. I noted that I could still judge beauty, even if I couldn't enjoy it. Her mane was pink and hung plainly at the side of her neck without decoration, and her tail was a matching pink straightness.
"Princess Celestia," Lero said. His tone of voice had shifted. I tried and failed to categorize it.
"Lero," she said back to him. Her head stayed high. I saw his eyes jumping to her horn repeatedly, and saw that she was looking at his eyes too. Lowering her head would have brought that sharp horn closer to him. I made a note to ask Lero later why he was afraid of her.
"And you must be Gus," she said to me. She kept her head high and looked at my face.
I sat up. Neither the doctor nor the nurse had said I couldn't move, though they did tell me to stay in bed and let my injuries heal. "Princess Celestia," I said to her.
She continued to regard me. Her voice was melodious and measured; I thought she was slowing herself and speaking carefully. If Lero was afraid of her, then perhaps she was trying to avoid sparking further reactions from him. "As Princess of Equestria, I would like to welcome you. Lero has represented your kind well here."
"Thank you," Lero said. There was little tonality in his voice.
"Are you sure you don't want the spell?" she asked him, her voice quieting. It did not sound forceful, so I tentatively guessed she was showing sympathy rather than politely phrasing an order.
"Thank you, Princess, but no. If I don't face it, I'll never get over it," he said. I could see he was starting to sweat.
She nodded her head. His eyes jumped to her horn. She took a half-step back, her tail going out into the hallway, and held her head high again. "I badly mishandled my first meeting with Lero," she told me. "I take full responsibility for my overreaction. But, Gus, I must convey to you the same certainty I gave Lero. I love my little ponies, and I will not let them be hurt. Nor any of my other subjects, including Lero."
"You should put guards on me," I agreed.
Her wings moved to both sides. I could not judge the meaning. I remembered that reaction to watch for later. "Why ever would you say that?" she asked.
"I don't want to hurt anyone," I told her. "But I have a brain injury. Doctor Signs healed part of it, but I don't know what effects it might have." I had been watched for two months when I first came to the assisted-living facility. It was logical. "If I'm now prone to going into fits or anything else, you should be prepared."
"I will take that under advisement," she said. "Your honesty becomes you. Vital Signs is the best expert we have on humans, but there is just not much we know about the human mind. May I examine you?"
I nodded my head. "Yes, Princess."
She started to dip her horn, then paused, looked at Lero, and resumed lowering her horn at a much slower rate. The tip hovered near my temple and glowed golden. I felt a twinge, and then a violent headache. I gasped. Pain is a sensation, not an emotion. I could feel that just as much as I could feel the sheets under me. Her horn pulled away, the light fading from it. She stared at me.
"You have been marked, Gus Wainwright," she said. I didn't think I had told anyone my last name yet. "It is not a good thing. I can remove it, and it may help you heal better, but it will be painful." Her expression changed, but I was again unable to place it. "I do not want you to fear me, Gus, but it would be very bad to leave that mark on you any longer than necessary. But it is up to you."
"Remove it," I said promptly. She waited for me to say more, and then she slowly lowered her horn again.
There were no words. There were only numbers and pain.