Chapter 17: Incalzando
Catacomb awoke from his sleep suddenly, breathing heavily. He looked down at his hands, feeling the heat from his dream. He inspected them, looking for any burns on them, but they were fairly normal hands, not that it mattered what they looked like anyways. "Just a dream..." Catacomb said, sighing lightly as he laid back into the couch's pillow. It wasn't a bad dream, more like an interesting flashback, regarding him and his first encounter with the easily flustered Shining Armor. The excitement from the memory was enough to get Catacomb up and running. What to do though, was the million bit question.
Getting up from the couch, he wandered into the kitchen, staring out the window. It wasn't that early, and the sun would be up soon. His mission was clear and destination was set. He quickly opened the ice box and scanned it. After a minute he sighed, slumping his head. "She seriously needs to go grocery shopping more often..." he said quietly, staring at the bottle of milk and half eaten sapphire. He poked the bottle of milk, concerned that it didn't slosh around as it should. He pulled it out and turned it upside down, the contents remaining in place. "Well...this will kill someone..." He turned towards the basket meant for trash and tossed it in, the bottle's landing being cushioned by random papers littering it.
Catacomb made his way over to the pantry, hoping to find something edible from within there. As he opened it, his face couldn't help but go into a blank stare. It hasn't even been two days, and they have already emptied what was left in here, minus a jar of cookies and a package of crackers. There was also a potato, but Catacomb was unsure about using it, as it was possibly growing another potato off of it. Shutting the pantry in defeat, Catacomb shifted into his usual outfit, feeling around to make sure his coin pouch was where it should be, and not stuck in an uncomfortable place. Pouch check complete, he grabbed his rune guns and leather case from the couch side table and placed them inside his jacket, ready for whatever the world may bring.
The night air still lingered, even as the sun began peeking out from the horizon, leaving a chilled wind over Catacomb. Shaking it off, he made his way to the early morning market, hoping to pick up a few fresh ingredients.
Walking into the market, Catacomb grinned, instantly spotting the Apple family stand being set up by Applejack and Shining Armor. Instead of his usual attire, he was wearing a simple pair of work pants and black tee shirt, easily throwing Catacomb for a loop. He giddily made his way towards the stall, grinning ear to ear as he approached the unsuspecting soldier. "So, that armor isn't attached to you after all?" Catacomb asked, chuckling as Shining jumped from the sudden question. Applejack's attention turned towards Catacomb as well, walking towards Shining.
"Holy...Catacomb you scared the hell out of me!" Shining said, trying to catch his breath. "What the hell are ya doing abandoning your post?!" he asked bitterly, glaring at Catacomb intently. Catacomb casually strolled towards the stand, staring at a few of the apples, completely ignoring Shining Armor.
"Hey, AJ, how much for a dozen?" Catacomb asked as he examined the apples for bruises or stains. Shining was not happy with Catacomb's attitude, his face starting to turn red, getting himself worked up. He was about to speak up, but was silenced when Applejack beat him to the punch.
"Well, usually it's about four fer a dozen, but I reckon I can let them go for three, being a friend and all." Applejack said, smiling, as she approached the prospective customer. Catacomb grinned, moving himself closer to Applejack, his face being uncomfortably close to her.
"Thank you. You wouldn't happen to provide any other benefits for being a friend?" Catacomb said with a sleazy tone in his voice. Applejack stood there, unfazed by his spontaneous pick up lines at this point.
"I suppose I can make it easier to get back to Twilight's" Applejack said, placing a confused look on Catacomb's face. She turned towards Shining, who almost looked ready to blow from being completely forgotten about, "Hey Shining, how far do ya think he will go if I kick him real hard?" Catacomb's confused look turned into one of fear. He had seen this girl work, as well as hit. Shining saw this look of fear as well, and figured he would exploit it to the best of his abilities.
"Can't say, Applejack. Though I'll give you an extra one hundred bits if you manage to make it to Twily's door." Shining said, letting out his own mischievous chuckle. Applejack grinned, nodding to Shining Armor. She turned towards Catacomb, or at least where he was standing. He was already on his way, a bag of apples in his hand and a pile of bits where they used to be. Applejack turned towards Shining, who simply nodded in approval. She responded in kind with a thumbs up.
"Ya know, ya ain't half bad." Applejack said, chuckling slightly. Shining joined in, laughing as well.
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Catacomb spent the rest of the early morning quickly gathering eggs, flour, milk, butter, and juice, along with a few other things here and there. All the while, he kept watching over his back for Applejack and Shining. It didn't take all that long, and within an hour, returned to the library with a smile on his face, a sack over his shoulders, and his coin purse significantly lighter, not that he really minded this time around. The door a mere inches away Catacomb stared at it for a second, before shrugging and casually walking inside. He did a quick life check, glancing around the library and listening for movement.
"Ok, no one is awake yet..." Catacomb said to himself with a whisper. No one was around and sound could be heard, though with Perry having spent the night, sound meant nothing anyways. Slowly making his way towards the kitchen and checking to see if the coast was clear, Catacomb set down his ingredients and began on breakfast, taking out a mixing bowl and cutting board to begin work.
"What are you making?" Catacomb nearly jumped through the roof, quickly turning around. Perry stood there right behind Catacomb, casually sipping a cup of tea through a straw.
"Are you out of your freakin mind? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Catacomb said, flailing about slightly.
"I thought you needed a heart to have a heart attack." Perry said, chuckling slightly. Catacomb stared, not all that amused.
"Cute. Anyways, what are you doing up this early?" Catacomb asked, measure the ingredients into the bowl.
"Just making sure that you didn't work your way upstairs last night." Perry said as he placed the cup down. His response had a hint of what Catacomb recognized as a threat.
"Perry, you seriously need to relax. You and Captain Killjoy both." Catacomb responded, taking in a deep breath. He started mixing the batter, Perry staring over his shoulder, watching curiously.
"I am just concerned for the well-being of Twilight. Speaking of which, when was the last time you had a proper meal?" Perry asked, still staring over Catacombs shoulder in an increasingly annoying way.
"First off, Twilight is more than capable of saying no. And it's really none of your business when I last fed." Catacomb said, becoming more irritated by his actions and his inquiries. He tried his best to focus on his meal. He started to cut up the apple's deciding to leave the skins on for an added flavor and flair.
"I would rather you go and take care of that soon, though." Perry said, his voice stern. Catacomb took a deep breath, putting the knife he had in his hand down. He turned around, finally near the boiling point.
"Will you lay off!? I said I am fine!" Catacomb snapped, though Perry gave no ground.
"I am simply concerned for Twilight." Perry said, taking a deep breath, trying to not get caught up in Catacombs flaring emotions. "You know, it almost seems like you have been avoiding your habits for some time. Is everything alright?" Perry asked, genuine concern in his voice. Catacomb stood there, trying to figure out which emotion he wanted to display loudly next, but saner thinking prevailed and he sighed.
"I will be fine. I promise that I won't hurt her, alright man?" Catacomb said calmly.
"I do trust you, Cata. I am as concerned about your well-being as I am Twilight's. Don't starve yourself, please." Perry said quietly. Catacomb stood silent for a minute. Taking in another deep breath, he chuckled.
"There is no pleasing ya, is there. Tell ya what, if you're that concerned, do me a favor." Catacomb said, grinning slightly. Perry stood there for a second, thinking over his response carefully.
"Umm...what kind of favor?" Perry asked cautiously. Catacomb walked over to him and casually threw his arm over Perry's shoulder.
"It will benefit all parties involved, I promise you." Catacomb said, grinning ear to ear. Perry wasn't too fond of where this was going, but he reluctantly nodded, nervous for what kind of diabolical scheme Catacomb cooked up today."
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Twilight tried to sleep, but a sweet scent emanating from the kitchen couldn't help but grip her consciousness and keep it from slipping away. She got up, stretching out the kinks from last night’s rest and glancing around. It took a few seconds to process the change from usual scenery, before Twilight began to remember last night. She slowly slipped out of the bed, and walked slowly downstairs, dressed in her purple starry pajama shirt and pants. Her hair showed the usual signs of sleep, not really being in a single location with a single style. These thoughts did not process properly though, as the increasingly strong smell of cinnamon apples made their way into her nose.
"Spike...it smells delicious..." Twilight said, walking into the kitchen. She was greeted, not by Spike, but by Perry and Cata. Catacomb was flipping something inside of a frying pan, while Perry set the table for everyone present. Twilight stared for a second, not really expecting the two warriors to be so deft in the kitchen, though a previous breakfast with Cata had proven otherwise once before. This time, however, was something different. Even if it was something simple as flipping, Catacomb did it so naturally. He threw the food into the air towards the stack of almost exact duplicates, noticing that they looked like thin pancakes. Twilight knew what they were, and it was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't remember for the life of her. Before the cake even landed, Catacomb managed to splash the last of the batter into the frying pan. He was completely absorbed in his work, grinning as he let the pan set, turning towards a small pot, and the origin of the sweet smell that had dragged Twilight here in the first place. Catacomb took the contents and poured it into a large bowl. It looked like the filling for an apple pie, and smelled just as good. Catacomb started to work the formed batter in the pan, grinning even more than usual.
"If you keep staring like that, you're going to make me blush." Catacomb said, flipping the thin cake around the pan expertly. Perry continued to set the table, giving a simple wave to her. Twilight blushed slightly, shaking her head to regain herself. "I hope you don't mind crepes. It was..."
"CREPES!" Twilight yelled out, quickly interrupting Catacomb. He looked at her with a puzzled gaze. "Sorry...couldn't remember what they were." Twilight said, her slight blush deepening with a hint of embarrassment.
"No worries. Just thought I goofed for a second." Catacomb said, chuckling awkwardly. He grabbed the plate of crepes and the filling and walked over towards the table. "Hey Pear, why don't ya go and get Fluttershy, assuming she's up to eating and all." Perry nodded, and casually walked out of the kitchen, heading upstairs. Catacomb got out the juice he bought, pulling it out of the ice box.
"Cata, you didn't have to do all this." Twilight said, walking over towards the table.
"Nah, it was my pleasure. I couldn't sleep anyways. By the way, what the hell happened to all your food? I know you had more last time I cooked." Catacomb asked, scratching his chin. Twilight scowled slightly, frowning.
"Spike was very picky when he was...recovering..." Twilight's tone held a trace bit of sarcasm, causing Catacomb to grin slightly. "Anyways, he usually does the cooking, so in my efforts to take care of him...I might have had to retry several times and throw out a few destroyed pans...needless to say, I am glad you're here..." Catacomb's grin only grew from the comment. Twilight's eyes widened, realizing what she had just said. “TO COOK! I am glad to have someone who can make all of our meals!" Twilight added in, blushing heavily as the words came out a mile a minute. "You are doing a fantastic job! Keep up the good work!" Twilight said, smiling awkwardly while her blush was still present.
Catacomb walked up to her, and knelt down and kissed her hand. "Of course, princess. Anything to be of assistance." He stayed down on his knees, slowly rising his head to meet her eyes, and smiled a sly smile. She was beet red, completely taken back by this random act of devotion. She was shaking, clearly at a loss for words. He slowly stood up, and stared into her eyes, smiling remaining in place.
"C...Cata...I uh...I don't..." Twilight couldn't find the right words to say, caught between her own stumbling confusion and unclear emotions. Catacomb remained quiet, staring deep into her eyes.
"Twilight, there is something I have to say..." Twilight was frozen, she couldn't speak, her eyes widening, flashing back to that dream she had. It was almost exactly the same, with the exception of the apron. "You have the most adorable face when you're flustered." Catacomb finished, leaving Twilight speechless, though for all of the wrong reasons. Catacomb let out a slight giggle, staring at the petrified Twilight. "Is everything alright, Twi?" Catacomb ask teasingly.
"...Cata..." Twilight managed to squeak out his name, still standing in place, her gaze locked on him. "Dark clouds send forth your emissary..." Catacomb's eyes widened as he started to recall the spell she was casting.
"Twi...come on, why are ya mad...was it something I said?" Catacomb said quickly trying to cover up his mistake, and poorly.
"Show judgment to those deemed unworthy..." Twilight glared with anger in her eyes, and Catacomb gulped.
"What is going on here?" Perry asked as he approached Twilight. She turned around with a jump, scared by the sudden appearance of Perry.
"LIGHTNING!" She yelled, accidently redirecting the spell towards the unsuspecting Perry. It was too sudden and he had no chance. Within seconds, the poor guy was twitching on the ground, hair slightly singed and smoking, which was never a good sign.
"...Why...so cruel..." Perry said, before his mask had impacted the floor, face still attached to it. Twilight remained still, mortified by her own mistake. Catacomb stared for a few seconds, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips, his proud and strong friend now a quivering mass of flesh.
"Oh my gosh!" Twilight yelled, finally coming to her senses as she rushed over to Perry, kneeling down and rolling him onto his back. She gently picked up his head, looking frightened. "Please be ok! Perry, speak to me!" Twilight was nervous, shaking him slightly. Catacomb watched, trying to hold back on the wise cracks, slightly afraid of what may result as him being cooked medium well.
"Twily...is that you?" Perry asked, his voice weak and soft. Twilight nodded, smiling softly. "I...see angels...did the creator mess up and send me to the happy place..." Perry asked. Catacomb, no longer able to contain his laughter, started into a huge burst of a giggling fit. Twilight glared at Catacomb for a moment. Catacomb let out the last of his giggles before pointing up the stairs.
"Perry, you ain't dead, and you're making Flutters here very embarrassed." Twilight looked up, Fluttershy standing by the stairs, supporting herself with the railing. "And don't worry, I am sure you got your own bit of land set aside down below." Catacomb said, kneeling next to Twilight and gently patting him on the head.
"That's good to hear." Perry said, jumping up and brushing himself off like nothing happened, startling Twilight. He walked over to Fluttershy and gently grabbed her hand, helping her down the stairs. "I apologize if I scared you, my dear." Perry spoke to Fluttershy in a suave tone, causing her to blush, but smile nonetheless.
"It's fine. I am just glad you are alright." Fluttershy said, smiling cutely at him. He was always glad to be wearing a mask around her, especially with Catacomb around. If he ever caught wind of how giddy she made him feel, he would never be able to live it down.
"Don't worry yourself, Fluttershy." Catacomb said, smiling. "My buddy here is nearly indestructible. I am sure a little bolt of lightning wouldn't do anything."
Perry looked over at Catacomb, his mask hiding a nervous expression. "Cata...you really shouldn't..."
"I mean, what is a measly little spell going to do to amazing men like us?" Catacomb, interrupting Perry, continued his bragging, unbeknown to him an angry looking Twilight standing behind him, her lips moving quietly.
"Cata, I hope you know..." Perry tried to speak again, but was cut short.
"I am trying to make you look good, Perry. What is your problem?" Catacomb asked, looking at his friend.
"Turn around..." Catacomb did just that, slowly looking behind him, completely forgetting that the bolt was never meant for Perry, and his boasting had only served to reawaken the angry beast, as Twilight's sinister glare and twisted smile could only be described as something out of a horror book.
"Umm...hi, Twi. You're not still mad at me for my little joke...are you?" Catacomb asked, gulping slightly.
"...lightning..." This time the spell had been on the mark, striking Catacomb and leaving him in the state that Perry was just in minutes ago, twitching on the ground.
Catacomb slowly raised his head trying to regain his senses. Perry shook his head while Fluttershy had a concerned look on her face. Twilight, on the other hand, had went back to her happy self, feeling somewhat better after Catacomb's unintentionally cruel joke. Everyone stepped over Catacomb, Perry lifting Fluttershy, and made their way over to the table, sitting down and digging in. Catacomb, on the other hand, was perfectly fine where he was. Spike, waking up finally from the access of commotion, made his way down the stairs, stopping when he noticed Catacomb's blank stare glaring at a ceiling branch.
"Are you ok, bro?" Spike asked, kneeling down next to Catacomb. He had seen this before, usually with Perry, and figured he didn't need to ask how or why. Catacomb nodded, letting a small grin grow on his face.
"Worth it..." Catacomb said, smiling ear to ear.