//------------------------------// // Bonus: Behind the Scenes // Story: The Watcher // by GnollReader //------------------------------// "Welcome, to another episode of Behind the Scenes!" the female unicorn smiled broadly into the camera, "I am your host, Starlight! This week, we will look behind the scenes and meet some of the actors of the series that has taken the nation in a storm! This episode and live on on television for the first time, we are going to get a look inside what really happens behind the mysterious series of... The Watcher!" the audience applauded, "So let us welcome our guest with a hearty applause, I give to you... Snow Blossom!" The camera whirled around to face a large armchair next to her own desk. Under the applause of the audience, a slender and tall unicorn with a white coat entered and took a seat. "First of all, let me express how deeply all of us were touched by your astonishing performance of our beloved princess Celestia. If I understand it correctly, you worked as a model for several years before you took up acting." "That is correct." Snow Blossom replied with a kind smile. "Tell us, how big of a challenge was it to play princess Celestia?" "Since it was my first major role, it was of course quite a task. I took classes in royal etiquette and demeanor so I could perform the role to its best." "And you did it so marvelously..." Starlight chuckled, "But tell us, how much time did you have to spend in make up?" "Two hours each day, the make up artists do take their job very serious. Plus another hour required for the enchantments of the wings and the flowing mane." "You have been nominated as most beautiful mare of the year by the Trotropolitan, and several stars already swear to your beauty plan." "A mare should look after herself. A good, healthy diet and a regular workout are something everypony should be capable of." --- Inside Canterlot castle, princess Luna turned to her sister, "I've never seen you workout before." Princess Celestia put on a sly smile, "Some of us bring our inner beauty forth naturally..." Luna frowned before looking back at the television, "Well, she does look more in shape than you do. Maybe you should think about a diet other than cake every day." Celestia visibly deflated, "There is nothing wrong with a healthy figure..." she looked down herself before proclaiming with a proud voice, "I have held my weight for a good thousand years now." "Strange..." Luna chuckled, "I could have sworn your thighs weren't as wide before my thousand years of absence." "Oh, hush you." --- "Now..." a conspiring smile appeared on Starlight's face, "You probably know already what I'll ask next, but I simply need to sate my curiosity." her voice turned into a whisper, "What is the Purveyor like? How was it to work together with an actual deity? Viewers all over the world were thrilled to find out that the Shadow Emperor himself played the role of Zaeres." "Of course, it would have been nice of the director if he had informed me of this fact in advance." White Blossom mentally cringed as she remembered her first day on the set. The Purveyor had appeared in a roaring ball of darkness to ask whether she knew the number of the room service... She had responded by screaming like a filly and locking herself in the bathroom for a full hour... mainly due to the fact that he had simply reappeared next to her and she had broken off the key in a frantic attempt to flee. It had been a difficult start. White Blossom shook her head, "It was quite a surprise for me, I assure you." "We were all surprised." Starlight laughed, "Up until that point, most of the population wasn't even aware that there actually existed a deity of the void!" "Don't I know it..." Snow Blossom whispered out of hearing. "So!" Starlight gave her an expectant grin, "How is he? How was it to work with an actual god?" "He is..." White Blossom frowned as she thought of the best way to answer the question. What was he like? What words could possibly describe his strange character? Did she even know what he was for that matter? "He is a very... interesting... person. I failed at first to realize it, but there is much more to him than just his status as a deity." "Like what?" "Yes, please tell us." Both White Blossom and Starlight turned to the side in surprise as a whirling cloud of darkness appeared in the studio and accompanied by the surprised gasps of the audience, the Purveyor stepped forth into the open. "You're here?" White Blossom asked with a suddenly nervous expression. He had never talked or appeared to anyone outside the show's crew before... ever. "I don't believe it!" Starlight cried out. --- "I don't believe it..." Celestia let out a groan, "Please tell me this is some kind of joke!" Luna scrunched her face, "Maybe this is some sort of show gag?" Celestia let her head drop, "No... I can tell from the way the shadows move. It really is him. What is he thinking?" "It's not that bad..." Luna shrugged, "Many of us make public appearances, what about it?" "Luna." Celestia frowned, "The deity of the void, the keeper of all knowledge and secrets is about to give an interview on international television. This includes secrets of national security, anything the deities ever did, anything we ever did or said... not to mention the things we did not." Luna's face paled a bit, "Oh..." "Exactly." Celestia got up, "I need to make a call, right now." --- "This is a monumental event! For the first time in history, the Shadow Emperor is making a public appearance!" there was a short round of sullen and nervous applause from the audience. Starlight beamed a large grin at the Purveyor, "Welcome, to Behind the Scenes!" her smile faltered a bit as he did not reply or even move, "Heh... heh..." she quickly beckoned to one of the staff ponies, "Let us get you a seat so..." "There is no need." the Purveyor's hollow voice cut her off, "I can supply my own." he made a small gesture with his hand and immediately black shadows shot up from the ground, collecting and condensing into a black throne as he sat down. "Wow!" Starlight gasped at his display, "Can you form your shadows into anything you desire?" "No." "Okay..." Starlight grinned nervously, "So maybe we can..." The Purveyor ignored her and turned to White Blossom instead, "You were about to tell the viewers what you find interesting about me... Please, continue." "Why are you even here? I thought you didn't make public appearances?" White Blossom gave him a curious look. "I made an exception." "Why?" Starlight carefully asked from her seat. The Purveyor turned his head towards her, making her gulp as she looked into the black glass of his mask, "I wish to make a few statements of my own." "You do? I mean, of course you do!" Starlight gave a nervous laugh, "Do you have any words for your fans and our viewers? Would you mind if I asked you some questions?" "I do have some words for the viewers of the show... you may ask your questions afterwards." "Alright... So... what do you wish to tell your viewers?" In between Starlight and the Purveyor, White Blossom gave a quick and silent prayer, "Please let this go well..." The Purveyor turned towards the camera, "Three things I wish to say to those concerned; One, stop praying to me or sending me sacrifices. It is stereotypical, disturbs my work and I am not your god... and I hate it when your burnt offerings and letters appear in the void. The void is not your personal trash bin, and I do not sell knowledge or power for your soul!" White Blossom gave a sigh of desperation, "And here goes our reputation..." "Which brings me to point two; I am not a wishing well. I can not make princess Celestia or Luna fall in love with you, and neither am I in an active relationship with them... so enough with the erotic fanfiction about it!" his fist struck down on his throne, making everyone present in the studio flinch, "It sickens me..." his voice took an even colder tone, "And I know where you live..." his head turned to Starlight, who had grown very pale, "I know everything." Starlight gave a quick nod, as if affirming an unasked question, "Got it." The Purveyor turned back to the camera, "And last, but most importantly..." he was interrupted as a ringing noise rang out in the studio like a cricket in a silent night. The Purveyor's shadows twitched and he slowly turned back to Starlight who was currently staring at the phone on her desk with a look of pure horror. "Heh..." Starlight gulped, "Fancy that, I thought I turned it off..." she started to fumble with the phone, "Just... let me answer this real quick!" she opened the phone and placed it against one of her ears, "Hello?" "I am tempted to feel insulted." White Blossom leaned towards the Purveyor and whispered, "Please stop making open death threats to our fans! I for one would like to have a job for a bit longer!" She might as well have spoken out loud, her microphone was still on. "Those weren't threats, they were promises." the Purveyor paused, "Are you wearing your mane differently today?" unlike her, he did not lower his voice... and unnoticed by White Blossom, the audience was listening intently now. "You noticed? Do you think it's not a bit too casual for a public appearance?" "It suits you very well. Though I advise using another hair conditioner... this one tends to be a bit... glossy." White Blossom blushed and gave a sigh, "I know, but I do have a marketing contract and..." she shook her head, "Did you already talk to Gerald?" "I did. Even though I do support the charitable act of funding a hospital wing, I told mister Noll that naming it after me would probably be unwise. It is a hospital for foals, after all." Next to them, Starlight was talking on her phone with an almost panicking voice, "Yes, of course... can I just say that is an honor to actually... Of course, your highness... Immediately, your highness..." she held the phone towards the Purveyor with a shaky hoof, "It's for you..." White Blossom gave her a curious look, "It is?" she turned to the Purveyor, "Don't tell me you still don't have a phone of your own." The Purveyor gave a grunt, "Do you even know what a phone call across thirteen dimensions costs?" his shadows snatched the phone from Starlight's hold and he took a look at the number on the display, "I wonder what she wants..." the shadows carried the phone close to the side of his head, "Hello, Celestia." There was a murmur of surprise in the audience, and White Blossom gave Starlight a terrified look, "Celestia?! As in, princess Celestia?" "Don't look at me, I don't even know where she got my number!" Next to them, the Purveyor was talking on the phone, "Mmm... Mmm... of course I do... No... No, I do not... You're watching? Hello, Luna!" he waved into the camera before turning to Starlight, "If I flip Celestia the bird, are you going to blur it?" White Blossom looked at him with shock, "You wouldn't dare!" Even in the studio, the audience could hear furious shouting come out of the phone, "What? You said yourself I should pick up on today's traditions... What? Celestia, it's not a secret if everyone knows it... Oh, for the love of... Everyone knows you eat too much cake! How would that be relevant to the national security?" the shouting increased in volume and the Purveyor held the phone away from his ear, "She does tend to rant a bit..." "You do realize that if she is watching this, she can see what you're doing?" White Blossom commented with a sour face. The Purveyor shrugged, "So?" he returned the phone to his ear, "Listen... can I call you back later? I'm giving an interview... got those flowers by the way, very pretty... This again? Celestia, I am not going to... Yes... yes, I promise. Feel better now?" the shouting from the phone ceased, "Wait, does the central pact of ordinance count as a state secret?" the shouting immediately began again, "I was joking!" he groaned, "No... No, I am aware of the possible implications, so calm down will you?" he snapped the phone shut with a sigh, "That mare can be so picky at times." "You really know princess Celestia?" Starlight asked with wonder. "Of course, all deities know me. Fin' gre and I go golfing once a month." he shook his head with a sigh, "Now where was I... Ahh, yes. Point three." his voice became deadly serious with his last words. "Don't do it..." White Blossom whispered desperately. "Point three..." the Purveyor nearly hissed, "This is a message to the public relations board of Care Hoof Industries..." "Pleaaase..." White Blossom begged. "If you ever make another diaper commercial on my expense, I will personally drag you all into the abyss!" White Blossom let out a defeated sob, "Seriously, I know that the void swallows all... but that? That is just insulting to my person and degrading towards my work!" the Purveyor paused before turning to Starlight, "That is all." "Okaaay..." Starlight replied with a nervous smile, she was obviously not used to deities making threats on her show. "You are unbelievable!" White Blossom shot at him. "I am merely defending my status as an independent deity." the Purveyor replied, "That commercial was made without requesting my permission!" "Nobody even knew you were real until two weeks ago!" "Soooo..." Starlight carefully interrupted the two, "Can I... maybe ask you some questions?" "Ask." "How is it that the world was kept without knowledge of your existence for such a long time? Is it a conspiracy?" The Purveyor shook his head, "No, no... It was due to the nature of my being. I exist in the shadows, and usually am not one to mingle in the affairs of the living. I concentrate on stemming the flow of souls as they pass on. Celestia on the other hand, now there is conspiracy material for books! You wouldn't believe the skeletons she keeps in her closet, right next to her emergency cake, of course..." he chuckled at this joke. --- "I'll kill him." Celestia stated with a solemn voice. "You really have emergency cake in your closet?" Luna raised an eyebrow. "I DO NOT HAVE CAKE IN MY CLOSET!" --- "Did you just make a joke?" White Blossom asked with a skeptical frown. "It wasn't apparent?" "You're not exactly a comedian..." White Blossom sighed. She had come to understand some of what he found humorous, but his mere appearance always made it hard to tell how serious he actually was. The Purveyor crossed his arms with a huff, "I was born for comedy." There was a short moment of silence as everyone stared at him with unbelieving eyes. He let his gaze fall on Starlight's confused face, "Or would you disagree?" his shadows twitched. "No!" she quickly replied, "Of course not! After your perfect enactment of Zaeres, I am sure you can play anything you desire!" Starlight tried to rearrange her memo cards, "So... In one of his interviews the author of the story, G. Noll, stated that he considered your support for this series as absolutely crucial. Tell us, how did he manage to recruit you for this role?" "Well..." the Purveyor scratched the chin of his mask in thought, "I am the deity of knowledge and secrets, so finding out wasn't that hard. I was actually the first to appear at the audition." "And you just jumped on board?" "I found the idea highly entertaining. After I read the script and some minor adjustments I was more than happy to supply the role." "Minor adjustments?" The Purveyor let out a laugh, "He wanted me to have a skull mask... I thought that was simply immature. Wait, let me demonstrate." his mask suddenly realigned itself and took the form of a terrifying skull with black flames dancing around it and two red spots glowing in the sockets, "How would anyone take me serious looking like this?" with every word he said, more flames shot out between the teeth of the skull. Somewhere in the audience, a pony fainted. The Purveyor restored his old mask, the glass reforming without revealing even a glimpse of what lay beneath. "I see your point." Starlight gulped before turning to White Blossom, "And I can imagine it was quite helpful for you to have access to someone that actually knows princess Celestia personally!" "There have been certain points that required his experience." White Blossom's features turned sour, "And others which certainly did not..." "You asked me for all information on Celestia, and I delivered it." the Purveyor gave an undignified huff. "What I asked for were tips on how to portray her the best! What you gave me were detailed records on anything Celestia did for the last eight thousand years!" White Blossom snapped back, "Where she went, what she did... even what she ate! It took days to carry them out of my loft! Do you even know how much trouble I could get into? What if I accidentally learned of some top secret underground facility?!" "I marked those folders with red labels." the Purveyor replied with an almost casual voice. "You could at least have helped me to get them out again!" "I told you, I have a very busy schedule!" "You take care of the void! There is nothing in there!" "And it's endless! Deal with that, young lady!" "What is that even supposed to mean?" "There are secret underground facilities?" Starlight asked with an open mouth. The Purveyor turned to her for a moment, "Of course not! What are you? Five? They moved those to the moon five hundred years ago!" --- Somewhere in the distance, the roof of a certain castle exploded. --- "What was that?" Starlight asked out loud as the ground beneath them gave a short shake. "That's just Celestia flying off the handle." the Purveyor waved a dismissive hand, "Let her rant a bit and she'll be fine." he paused and looked up, "Actually... you may want to hurry up and end the show. She's headed this way." he was silent for another moment, "Wonder what got her so worked up..." White Blossom let out a groan, "Really?" "No." The camera swirled to Starlight, who was watching the ceiling with a worried expression, "Well, that just about sums it up for this show. A big applause for White Blossom and the Purveyor!" there was a tentative applause, "Next week, we'll get an inside look at what happens behind the scenes of the Reader!" the roof started to shake, Starlight gulped, "If we're still here, that is..."