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// 54. Twilacorn? You've gotta be f---ing kidding me.... 
// Story: Short Shorts 
// by Coranth 
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One moment she'd been sleeping in her bedchamber within the Royal Palace of Canterlot; the next moment she was snapped awake by the harsh glare of artificial fluorescent lighting coupled with a horrible, pounding headache. When at last her gaze resolved she found - to her chagrin - that she was no longer in her chambers; she was within the construct called the Dragon Weyr... and she was not alone. Standing before her were three figures she'd hoped to never face like this in her life: her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, her beloved Sister, Luna and the third... a human whom Luna had her wing wrapped about quite fondly... a human she knew well. 'Oh. Buck,' she thought. 

Girt for battle in full regalia, the strange human High Templar known as David stared at her, his face drawn into a disappointed frown. Beside him Twilight Sparkle, clad in attire similar to David's - though simpler than his and crafted for her form - blinked and slowly shook her head than closed her eyes and nuzzled closer to him. "So... let me get this straight, Celestia," the human began, his voice laced with his disappointment. "From what your sister Luna has told me, you sent a certain book to your former student, Twilight Sparkle, a book penned by one of her idols, Star Swirl the Bearded. Said book had written in it an incomplete spell, a spell which Twilight - instead of analyzing it - chose to cast. The result being... well, quite the mess in Ponyville it seems. Elements and Cutie Marks all mixed up. Can I... ask you a simple question, sweetheart?"

Trembling with anxiety, slowly, Celestia nodded.

Slowly, David leaned forward... inhaled a breath... and then, "Have you any idea just how utterly fucking stupid that was?!" he roared. 

Whimpering, the supposed Sun Goddess shook her head. "I... I had no idea tha--" she began.

"Don't lie," Twilight stated flatly, her voice utterly cold. "You knew. You knew I would cast it. You knew what it would do. You knew... Just as you knew about Nightmare Moon, and Discord. Nice setup by the way, casting that subtle emotion amplification spell on the Cutie Mark Crusaders. You manipulated them such that they would free Discord, in order to test me; the same with the Nightmare Moon debacle. Testing, testing, always testing... and oh, how naive I was, doing your tests... all in an effort to fulfill my supposed destiny" - she spat upon the floor at Celestia's feet - "a destiny that you decided was best for me the moment you felt my power at my Entrance Exam for your School for Gifted Unicorns..."

As Celestia started to weep silently, Twilight paid her no mind; instead looking to David as he picked up where she'd left off. "...and what a destiny it was," he continued. "The Dragon Weyr pulled a set of very interesting memories from your head. Take a look, Twi..." With that David had the Dragon Weyr play the memories it had extracted from Celestia's mind upon a Holoscreen for Twilight and as she beheld them - seeing herself as an Alicorn Princess yet still always under her mentor's watchful eye - Twilight fell to her haunches, shaking her head as her tears began to fall. At this Luna and David dropped to pull her against them, wrapping her up in arms, hooves, and wings. "I... I--no! I... I never wanted this..." whispered she, brokenly as she cried. "I wanted to use the knowledge from my studies to help ponies, perhaps by becoming an Archmage or trying my hoof at some other line of work. I... I don't want to be a bloody Princess sitting on my damn flank all day! I..."

Abruptly, the sound ceased. While her voice had sounded, Twilight had still seemed her faithful student. Now, suddenly there was a change - the passing of something - and all that remained was this gaunt quiet... but not for long. Getting to her hooves, Twilight left David and her sister's embrace and, striding forward, she stopped before the entrapped Solar Diarch, opened her mouth and then - as David swiftly pulled Luna to her feet and covered her ears - the little lavender pony mare bade Princess Celestia feel the full force of her anger as she let rip with a terrible, blistering diatribe! Exactly what she said cannot be printed, for the language she used would have shorn the delicate sensibilities of the Canterlot Nobility and made even the most battle hardened Guardspony turn away, appalled. Suffice to say, the variety and combination of phrases that flew out of that pony's mouth made the pony princesses eyes widen and her jaw drop. 

Until now, poor Celestia had had no idea Twilight even knew those words, let alone where she'd gotten them from. Twilight demonstrated an artistic flair for swearing that was beautiful and terrible to behold. Obscenities were her paint, her tongue the brush, and the Solar Diarch her unfortunate canvas. "... and fuck your damn preplanned destiny! If you ever try to manipulate me again, you stupid, worthless, imbecilic daughter of a dam-bucking whorse, I will tear your body apart with hooves and magic before I cast what's left of you into the warp! Do you hear me? The Warp, where the Warp Wraiths will feed upon what's left of your corpse!"