You know what’s really cruddy about being on the lamb? The hours, you just have to be ready to up and go at any moment since your pursuers could follow you anywhere. As such it is usually preferable to be on the move in the night. Less ponies to deal with, more dangers for everypony involved means that the one willing to risk more to get away will. And an overall sense of excitement.
Unfortunately, when your pursuer is a griffin you don’t exactly have such luxury due to them being able to fly and see in the dead of night. It was sort of what the creator must have decided to be the trade off for having no magic like ponies do. Then again that would make me question what mules have as their balance. Not that I’ve met any mind, but it is something you think about when you have to keep your heart from racing while hiding in a tree in broad daylight.
Behind me Gale, the aforementioned griffin, was roaring quite loudly. And honestly I’ve already had to gallop on hoof three thousand miles to get the Tartarus out of the Griffin Kingdom so I’m not exactly going to let a little thing like fear give me away.
“I know you are here 24601,” she called out into the forest, luckily in the opposite direction. “You can’t hide from me forever. I’ll bring you back if it is the last thing I do.”
What was with this chick anyway? I’m outside the blasted kingdom and I wasn’t about to return… ever. Trust me, spend ten years working in a griffin prison starting at the age of eleven and you’ll never want to see another griffin for the rest of your life. And don’t look at me like I’m some criminal by the way, I swear the stuff I did was minor… for the most part. Either way, now is not the time to go into it. I gotta get out of here.
Gale craned her head over a tree near my hiding spot and beamed. “Found you,” she said in her usual drawl when she spotted me as if she were trying to make a point of either seducing me or telling me I was going to be her lunch. Granted in those other cases I was ready to do something a bit romantic like jumping onto a train or having a new friend I met in town ‘accidentally’ tackle her while I made my escape.
Right now I’m just stuck in a tree knot, with nothing around but a big ass cliff. No real way for me to get out of this one really. But who knows, maybe I could luck out this time?
“And I had such high hopes for you after our little tango back in Trottingham,” she continued as she slowly stalked toward me. That’s right, give me some time to think and get a way out. Sure she may be a griffin with really sharp claws, one of which was brandishing a pair of hoofcuffs, but the best part about being a pony uses all four of his limbs all the time is that it builds muscle. The fact most of the work is intended for those who can fly makes muscle building way easier as a result. Then again, she’s a trained professional so it probably isn’t wise to go off attacking her. Meh, it may be stupid but it’s the cornered animal excuse.
Now I could say we had an epic struggle at this point and likely sell you on it. Telling lies is my talent after all. It’s what made me such a valuable and none bullied member of the prison. Thing is though you don’t know me long enough for me to really sell you on something so ludicrous since no officer would be sent after a prisoner alone unless they could take them down easily. Secondly it would just make me look like a bad ass, and honestly I’m not much of one. The guys back home did tell me I was the strongest in the group but they were being modest since I am still kinda young and impressionable.
Gale had me on the floor with my hooves cuffed in no time flat. That was a fact. She even chuckled at how easy it was. It was very degrading and also involved her insulting my stallionhood at some points so I’m just gonna skip most of that since I’m not the best at retelling stuff that is supposed to degrade you while coming out of a voice most would say would get a standing ovation from any male even sitting down.
As she stood me up I tried for small talk as I continued to look around. “So how long do you suppose this is going to net me?” In the distance I could see my salvation, a chariot approaching. It wouldn’t be long but I’d need to distract her long enough with something else not to persue.
Gale let out a breath. “Honestly, I don’t think anything less than the chopping block will do anything to you. But even I wouldn’t advocate that punishment on any of you scum. It costs us too much time and money with all the legal crap these days. They already took your horn, so taking your hooves would be stupid. Life maybe, with no chance of parole obviously since you just broke it so we can’t trust you.”
I felt a tingle in my forehead where what was left of my horn reacted to being reminded it wasn’t whole. I couldn’t much magic anymore, this was true. But the thing is about unicorns is that our magic usually has something to do with our skills. And while I couldn’t use telekinetic magic anymore because of not having ninety percent of my horn, what I could still do was about to save my flank.
Still I had to act the part of an angry con at what she just said, so I did. “You monsters cut off the horn of a teenager and under your own laws I couldn’t find a damn job anywhere. Why the hell would I want to stay a slave of your stupid laws.”
Really I’ve long since come to terms with the horn cutting thing, honest. And really getting a job was still easy. Thing is I have higher aspirations that just being a fry cook or something. And there was no way that was going to happen while I spent my remaining seven years on griffin parole.
“Yeah yeah,” she replied disappointed making sure she was attached to me. Lucky me that chariot was getting some cloud cover. Celestia you are a doll sometimes. “It’s what you all say, and it’s just because you don’t try.” She turned her back to me to make sure her harness was secure, too easy. “I had better hopes for you since you actually made it into Canterlot. Furthest any runner ever got. But you are just like the rest of them. Stupid oafs that end up doing the same crimes again and again.”
“I tried to tell you back in Trottingham that wasn’t me,” I replied. Honestly it was sorta me, accidental purse snatching I promise. I didn’t even get any money from it, I was just sort of there and stopped the actual guy, but the old mare who got robbed couldn’t tell us apart and called the police which is why I had to get out of Trottingham. I gotta remember to actually give that twenty bits I took back to her one day though.
With everything in position I decided to get cocky. I know, tempting fate and all, but when am I ever going to be able to pull off the “smooth player” on somepony where it would end positively for more than ten minutes…. I know don’t say it.
“I’m not going back,” I said in a horse voice, which was easy since I’ve been doing that all my life only much deep than usual here. “I’d rather die than go back.”
“Really now,” she said turning to look at me. “I’d never think you’d volunteer yourself for the block.”
“Nope,” I said jumping close to her. “Not about to give you the satisfaction.” And before she could tell what was going on I leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the beak. I mean come on you can’t really do more than that with a griffin. And revealed my hooves to her, free of the cuffs.
That got her attention. “Wha- how did…” She found herself harnessed to the tree nearby. I took this little time I had to gallop for that cliff.
“See ya on the other side,” I called as I jumped.
“Wait!” she cried as I dove. The timing wasn’t exactly right, but I was seeing that chariot starting to descend.
“The fate of Equestria does not rely on me making friends,” said one of the passangers. All I could tell was that there were two purple blurs as I started to rush down. Yep I was gonna miss hit something alright so I called out to them.
Soon enough I felt magic, something I’d not felt hitting my body in years. The force slowed me down and pulled me into the cart. Meanwhile my own magic cast my shadow back where I was so that Gale could still think I was falling down from that angle. Yeah it's shadow puppets, I'll punch you if you laugh about that.
“What in Celestia’s name were you doing jumping from this high?” cried one of the two purple blurs as I got adjusted.
“Bungee jumping without a bungee?” I answered trying to sound like a surfer. As the chariot continued its path I could see Gale diving down past the clouds. Looking down it seems like there was a lake at the bottom of that cliff. Well it wasn’t like not finding a body wouldn’t have been a tip off anyway.
The two blurs focused into a purple mare with a pink stripe in her hair, and a purple and green baby scaly thing. They both look slack jawed at my answer so I just held out my left hoof- since my right sort of still had my prison tats- and introduced myself honestly, though still in my surfer voice. “The names Wishful Thinking. Just call me Wish. Guess I was being a bit of a doofus now that I think about it. What’s say you just drop me off and we’ll be square kay?”