"So what's next on our agenda?" Raindrops turned to Someone, who only grunted. Throughout the entire trip, the changeling had not once bothered to talk with either pony, preferring to remain stone silent. The problem was that Raindrops had the uncanny feeling he was a little upset with them. Although it was probably just because of the accident in maintenance hive.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Someone chided himself. He should have known that no pony would ever want to be seen in that scandalous armor of his. Well I'll show these little ponies they can't mess with Someone, anyone, and everyone!
"We're almost there!" Larvas gestured to a another resin-secreted entrance at the right. "This will lead you into one of our best foundations of changeling infrastructure!"
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The new chamber was just as enormous as the first. The ceiling was covered in a forest of stalactites that differed in size and thickness. Upon closer inspection, Raindrops noted that their lustrous appearance seem to give off a green hue, which was later found to be caused by a fine dust of a mysterious composition.
The bottom however, was more shocking then the ceiling. The cave floor seemed to glow like an underground lava pool. However, instead of a fiery red it was an icy white. The source of the glow came from the hundred upon hundreds of oddly shaped fungi. The fungi themselves seemed to be composed of various flaps rolled around each other to form a flower of sorts.
It was these leaves that seemed to give off the glow, although despite their varying shapes, they were placed in uniform rows, where several bulky changelings bearing old, woolen knapsacks proceeded to scatter a dark green meal with their magic. The only sounds were the thumping of the changeling wings, the drip and drap of the stalactites, and the occasional clop of hooves on stone.
"What is this place?" Raindrops asked admiringly. Someone just stood there, not wanting to speak less Derpy suffer from another panic attack and actually cause a mortal injury.
"This-" Larvas proudly presented with a bow, "-is the Agricultural Chamber!" And from there...well...all that was once quiet and serene was replaced with total chaos.
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"HOWDY Y'ALL! AH'M Spiracles! You're go-to changeling for farming!"
The changeling before Raindrops was dressed with an old straw hat with what look to be charred off chitin on his neck. He was fairly short, and his fangs stuck out like a saber tooth cat. The sounds of thousands of chittering voices filled the cavern, as an armada of workers poured through from several openings in the ceiling.
"Hey there Spiracles!" Derpy smiled. "My name's Derpy! Derpy Hooves, your go-to mailmare...oh and camerapony too!"
The changeling began to holler like a coyote on cider, rolling on the floor while slapping his hole covered hoof. "Well hiya there missy behind the camera! Ah' can't wait to-"
"Alright! Alright! CUT!" Raindrops went within inches of the changeling, who was now timidly standing behind a boulder. "Listen here Spiracles! This is a documentary, not the Lone Ranger. I know you can speak in a normal voice and the last thing I need is a stereotypical changeling being-"
"With all do respect," Spiracles hissed, his accent dropping almost immediately. "I could talk like every other changeling you meet in this hive. Believe me, all of us find it easier to talk in that monotonous tone. But I actually enjoy a nice country accent and if you want those ratings you'll let me speak however Ah' please!"
Raindrops was no stranger to threats, but she was also no stranger to ratings either. And...as much as she would regret it, she nodded. "Fine, talk in that country accent of yours. But the audience wants a changeling, not another Applejack!"
"Alrighty!" Spiracles pulled out a straw hat that he laid precariously over his head, giving a toothy grin to the camera. He had never been filmed before, and if he was correct, all great actors started somewhere. Now was the time to show those fools in Los Pegasus what he was made of.
"So what's all this fungi I see around me?" Raindrops gestured to the glowing blue structure behind her.
"So if ya can guess," Spiracles proudly puffed out his chest. "This fungi is called Chrysalis Tuten. The lifeblood of the Swarm. Ya' can cook just about anything with it. Dip, soup, cake, mixed greens, sandwiches..."
"Muffins?" Derpy raised her hoof hopefully, her eyes regarding the fungi with mixed curiosity.
"Uhhh...Sure?" Spiracles had never seen the fungus used in that particular recipe, but since it was used in just about anything else, why not muffins?
"Ooooo!" Derpy began to dream of a glowing blue muffin whose taste would rival that of Sugarcube Corner. "Can we have some later?"
"Of course," Spiracles assured, although his quivering lip and shifting eyes didn't convince Raindrops. "Ummm...we just need a little bit of time so Ah' can alert the cook."
"Going back on subject," Raindrops flew forward, "can you give us a tour perhaps?"
"Right this way!" Spiracles seemed eager to drop the muffin subject as he led them down the patches to a downwards slope. In this sub-level of the chamber, Raindrops could see rows and rows of changelings just standing and...chewing. On the back, there was a large pile of various cacti, all cut up into several bit-sized pieces and arranged in front of the assmebly line of workers who looked like they were chewing cud.
"If ya' ever heard how a fungus works," Spiracles gestured to a neat row in front of him. "Y'all see that it needs tenderin' to feed it. We found that to be mulch."
"Mulch..." Raindrops repeated, her nostrils now flaring with repugnant smell as a two workers dragged a rather interesting green cocoon filled with some tacky substance that was a cross between dirt, leaves, and mushed fruit. "...where do you get it?"
"Yeah..." Spiracles nervously ran a hoof down his snout. "About that..."
"It smells like barf?" Raindrops had taken one whiff of the noxious stench and gagged. The stuff was horrible, and this was fed to the fungi? In Ponyville, the gardeners would only supply their plants with magic, seeds, or the sweetest plant food bits could buy. But no pony ever used such a repulsive substance as the changeling mulch being distributed before her.
"That's because..." Spiracles dropped his accent almost immediately. Two drones suddenly waltzed in, their jaws vigorously moving up and down as they chewed on various plant material. Both of them stopped at the small little bucket, before regurgitating their contents into the container. With a small hiss, they took it to the main mulch pile.
While Derpy didn't seem disturbed in the slightest, Raindrops collapsed, landing with a soft squish. A few changelings gave some concerned glances her way, but none of them bothered to help the yellow-coated mare. Meanwhile, Larvas was once again asking himself why the first two segments of this tour had to be composed of this.
"Raindrops?" Larvas was shaking his companion, while Derpy simply continued to get footage. "Raindrops? Wake up!"
Slowly, the pegasus' eyes fluttered open, her expression vague and oddly relaxed.
"Larvas?" Raindrops addressed her friend with a dreamy look in her eyes, "I had the worst dream today. Your home was made with crap and your food was grown with barf...and..." Her eyes began to widen as she took in the surroundings of the resin-secreted walls depicting several changelings ceremoniously upchucking into a bowl.
"Sorry Raindrops," Larvas tried to say in a soothing voice, "you're still in the Hive."
If you've ever had the realization that your nightmare actually happened thrusted on you, then the following reaction may be acceptable. Raindrops rolled over the floor, immediately regretting it once she saw the rubbery material of changeling resin. Everywhere she looked, she saw organic-made waste being turned into the basic foundation of society. How could changelings live like this?
First, she had to deal with changeling resin, and now she had changeling mulch. She knew it was rude to spit out your food, but constantly upchucking that slimy substance to make more food made her stomach gurgle.
"Think of it like the plant food you ponies use in Ponyville." Larvas tried to comfort the film maker with a little smile. He wasn't exactly sure how ponies did it back in Equestria, but wasn't their flower meal just chewed up plant material being used to feed plants? How was that any different from what they were doing?
This is the end of the beginning of my actor's career Spiracles sighed to himself, slumping on a rock, Well at least I get to keep this cool straw hat!
After taking a moment to breathe in and out, Raindrops decided that she had gone too far down the rabbit hole to come back out. "Well...on with the tour."
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"So what you initially saw were the buds," Spiracles was leading the four changelings out of the chewing chambers and back towards the fungi patch, where workers were heaving large piles of the damp changeling mulch towards the corners. He directed them to a narrow crack at the end, where a bright blue glow was emanating from the entrance.
"Buds?" Raindrops repeated," what are..."
All of a sudden there was a deep rumble that silenced the group. Several workers were gazing up at the ceiling, scanning for the source as the rumbling grew louder. All of a sudden, a stalactite suddenly took off from its perch, smashing a mulch bucket to cinders.
"Ceiling having problems?" Raindrops indicated to the grisly remains of the mulch and rock as several workers congregated to the scene.
"Darn Maintenance Crew," Spiracles hissed irritably. "I've called them how many times? The resin is starting to deteriorate and we need some new adhesive to seal the old cracks. But despite having all the workers they could ever need, Alter can't even bother to assist us!"
"Why not?" Raindrops inquired. Alter didn't appear to be that cruel, and rather seemed genuinely happy of his work. "I thought he was making a ton of..."
"What? Can't hear you through all this chatter," Spiracles held his ear out.
"Nevermind it was silly," Raindrops sighed. If Alter had intended that large pot for the Agricultural Department, perhaps it was best to not describe the events that had transpired before-hoof.
"Anyhow," Spiracles grumbled, "Alter's too lazy to even bother with us hard-working farmers. You'd think he tried to put his food source as a priority right? But NOOOOOOOO! That resin-secreted grub is off playing cards with his brother half the time!"
"Maybe he's just swamped with work?" Raindrops suggested hopefully.
"Pfft, like I'm not buried in my hooves with mulch," Spiracles scoffed. "Alter just has to make adhesive, seal walls, and deliver it to me so I can put it on! It's irritating really. I swear between you, me, and all the changelings in Agriculture, our patience is growing as thin as ice!"
Raindrops gulped, her mind drifting off to the few strikes that she had seen in Cloudsdale. Angry ponies blockading a factory or establishment, terrorizing anypony who wandered too close. But it sounded like Spiracles was trying to take matters in his own hooves. Maybe changelings just settle arguments with a nice game of Apples to Apples, Raindrops?
"Going back on topic," Raindrops anxiously began, "what's a bud?"
"They are baby fungi!" Larvas explained fervently. He didn't need Spiracles to plant any bad seeds in his companion's mind. "When they grow, flaps turn into stool and then it is a matter of time to wait until they mature enough for picking."
"I see," Raindrops was noticing that the plants began to appear larger and more definite in shape. The flaps began to curl upwards, forming a sort of flat-head, almost like a nail. The stalk also appeared to resemble bark rather then the soft appearance she had seen earlier. "But how does one know when they are ripe?"
"That," Spiracles grinned, "is something I think you'll pegasi will enjoy!"
By now, the fungi was around the size of a cart! The luminescent blue was reflected by the resin to give the illusion that the whole chamber was an icebox. The fungi at this point resembled mushrooms more then anything else, or perhaps even jellyfish with the tendril-like appendages that hung off them.
"Wow..." Raindrops gasped in astonishment, her eyes reflecting the glow. "These things are bigger then my delivery cart at Amanezon!"
Spiracles gave a mischievous chuckle, flying up to one of the umbrella-shaped plants. "This...is Chrysalis Tutem at it's finest! Normally, they don't get much bigger then your common cat. But with the magic of love, these things absorb it just like us and grow to tremendous sizes. The best thing is that they thrive on Badlands soil, so we don't need to bring in that fancy stuff from Fillydelphia."
"But you haven't answered our question?" Raindrops raised her hoof. "How do you know when it's ripe? It seems you guys have to wait quite some time before they get this big!"
Spiracles simply laid back, his hooves behind his head as he momentarily allowed his wings to stop buzzing. As expected, gravity took over and the changeling fell right on top of the fungus. However, it acted as a trampoline, absorbing his mass before sending him back up. Both Derpy and Raindrops were captured in the comical image of a changeling-in a straw hat-bouncing up and down on a glowing mushroom.
"When. It. Gets. This. Easy. To. Jump. It's. Ready!" Spiracles spoke every word with each successful jump he accomplished before landing with a soft thud on the floor. The captivated audience immediately pounded their hooves for the performance.
On cue, two workers began to hover over the plant, using a scalpel-like device to scoop up the top. Then, they proceeded to store the substance in a tiny brown saddlebag marked with a faded happy face.
"You only harvest the top?" Raindrops pointed to the two workers.
"Only part we can eat safely," Spiracles knocked his hoof on the stem, which reverberated like a hollowed out piece of wood. "This stem here is too hard for us to chew, so we use it for other purposes. Sometimes they make good bowls, or spears, or a nice ingredient to add in that adhesive. Heck I think the Queen had a table made from this stuff."
"No part goes to waste." Raindrops playfully nudged Larvas, who nodded enthusiastically.
"You are getting it little pony." Larvas turned to catch a tiny smile on Someone's face before he replaced it with his stern scowl.
For a moment, Raindrops pictured what was outside of the hive. A harsh, desert wasteland where resources were few and danger lurked everywhere. Changelings couldn't afford to waste any bit of their production. Despite thriving on love, they had managed to scrounge up a suitable habitat through self-sufficiency.
"Blue muffins!" Derpy chirped blissfully. She could already picture this on the Ponys magazine being the latest in muffin technology. In her little world, this revolutionary blue muffin would not only change the way the world thought about muffins, but the way scientists would bake new muffins! Muffins would take over the baking community by force. No cake, pie, or creme brûlée would stop them!
But as Derpy dreamed of a muffin renaissance, Raindrops and Larvas decided to try out the edible trampolines. Larvas was the first to go, taking a daring jump on his carapace. However, the squishy surface absorbed him like quick sand before sending him towards the sealing. With an easy maneuver using his wings, Larvas avoided a collision with the ceiling.
"Come on!" he gestured to the mushroom. "It's fun! I did this all the time as a hatchling!"
I used a trampoline... Raindrops thought humorously to herself before she let her wings fall to her sides.
"CANNONBALL!" The jasmine pegasus felt like she was landing on a giant marshmallow, before she suddenly felt the familiar feeling of weightlessness often associated with flying. Below her, Derpy was waving away while Spiracles laid curled up on another mushroom, fast asleep. Suddenly, she felt gravity pull her down, only to land on the cushiony surface and launch off into the ceiling.
Larvas was now in perpetual motion, bobbing up and down on his bottom like a basketball. "Isn't this fun?"
"Yep!" Raindrops called out. "I haven't had this much fun since I was in Cloudsdale!"
It was true that Raindrops had never had time for fun once she left the city. Her work life in Amanezon occupied her days with endless shipments and deliveries. She barely had time to make friends, but she did manage to befriend one pegasus by the name of Derpy who would become her only real acquaintance, even if she was just a co-worker.
After the incident with Twilight Sparkle, she got a job on the weather team. There, she met Thunderlane, Blossomforth, and even Cloud Kicker. She even managed to befriend Sparkler, Derpy's adopted daughter. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Raindrops knew why she had really allowed Derpy Hooves on her trip.
Sometimes I wish we were back in Amanezon, filling out orders instead of living separate lives away. She had been so caught up in her thoughts she didn't hear the panic-stricken cries from her changeling guide.
"RAINDROPS!" Larvas bellowed, "watch-"
Before Raindrops knew it, she was suddenly flung off to the side, and into the grasp of another fungi's tendrils. There was a sickening whirr and buzz as if an electric circuit had just popped its cap. For a second, Raindrop's skeleton was comically shown beneath a dark silhouette as a dozen volts coursed through her body.
Within seconds however, her singed and scorched body landed with a dull thump on the fungus, bouncing up and down until Larvas carefully caught her and brought her down.
While Someone was gaping like a dumbfounded mule, Spiracles was hunched over the scene. "Don't worry, I know how to get rid of the body. Just put it in the mulch..."
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"Are you sure?" Haze asked, his eyes shifting nervously between his commanding officer and the entrance.
"The local workers were talking about it," Morpheus hissed, now adorned in his armor once more. "I don't care if the Queen thinks maintenance duty is more important. This takes priority, now gather the troops and tell them to be on alert. But no drastic measures."
Haze nodded in understanding. "Alright sir, but when are you going to tell the Queen?"
"That's your job Haze," Morpheus was halfway out the entrance. "those bucking documenters are causing more trouble then they're worth!"