The Trouble With Unicorns

by CartsBeforeHorses


Chapter 8: The Wendigo Wars

The six element holders gazed in terror at the army of icy beasts who closed in on the city of Cloudsdale.

“What are we gonna do? Our balloon’s gone, and we can’t fight Discord without it!” Applejack said.

“We’re DOOMED!” Rarity exclaimed, wiping her hoof across her forehead in a dramatic fashion.

“Maybe, but maybe not,” replied Twilight Sparkle, “Three of us have wings. We could carry the three wingless ponies towards Discord, and we can try to sneak up on him again.”

“I doubt that will work again,” said Fluttershy, “He’s going to be on guard against that sort of thing now. He already knows that plan.”

“Yes, but we have one thing on our side now that we didn’t then,” Rainbow Dash said, motioning behind herself, “The entire Wonderbolt fleet and Celestia’s own pegasi Royal Guards!”

As if on cue, hundreds of white pegasi in shining gold armor descended onto the clouds in front of the weather factory. Some carried flamethrowers, some carried semi-automatic bolt-action rifles, and some carried heavy artillery in chariots behind themselves.

“Wow, I never knew that you guys were so well-armed,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Of course, your highness. Though Equestria is peaceful, we must be prepared for war, as well. Now is one of those times,” the head Royal Guard Pegasus responded.

“We are prepared as well,” said Spitfire, flying towards the Royal Guard and the mane six with a battalion of three dozen Wonderbolts, all of whom wielded flamethrowers, including Spitfire.

“You’re going into combat, too?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ll be behind the front lines commanding, obviously, but I have this with me just in case. My name isn’t Spitfire for nothing!”

“Princess Twilight, awaiting your orders,” the Royal Guard commander said.

“Wait, ME? Order YOU?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“Of course. We are the Royal Guard, and we report directly to the princesses. As you are a princess, we take our marching orders from you.”

“Um… er…” Twilight stammered. She had read books on military strategy after becoming a princess, but never expected to actually put what she read into real-world practice. Equestria, after all, was a normally-peaceful nation.

Twilight said, “Okay… let’s see here. Royal Guards, since you are slower than the Wonderbolts, you will be the front lines: the infantry. You will engage the enemy directly. Your job will be to protect Cloudsdale and hold the line against the wendigos. Don’t let them enter the city, and only retreat as a last resort.

“The Wonderbolts will be the cavalry, attacking the wendigos from above, below, and behind, flanking them and launching hit-and-run style attacks. The wendigos are slower than pegasi, so the Wonderbolts have speed as an advantage. The Wonderbolts should focus on quick hit-and-run attacks. Fly in, take a few out, and fly back before they can hit you back with their icy breath.”

“As a military commander myself, I say that is a sound strategy,” said Spitfire.

“What about you and your friends, your highness? How will you go about defeating Discord with the Elements?” the Royal Guard Commander asked.

“Hmm…” said Twilight, “Wonderbolts. Do you have any spare uniforms?”

*****

Air raid sirens blared as the last remaining residents who had yet to evacuate Cloudsdale gathered their things and left. The Royal Guard hovered in the air above the city, forming a line. Legionnaires constructed a barrier in front of the city with tightly-packed clouds. Though walls of clouds could be easily penetrated, tightly-packed clouds were mildly effective as barriers in a pinch.

The wendigos reached the newly-constructed cloud wall and stopped. A rumbling laugh could be heard, and then Discord’s voice bellowed out, “Oh, CLOUD barriers? How precious, the widdle pegasi want to play war! Will you construct a pillow fort as well? Wendigos, show these featherbrains that this is no slumber party!”

The icy spirits responded and let loose their icy breath towards the cloud barrier. They fired icicles towards the clouds. Surprisingly, many of the icicles simply bounced back upon hitting the clouds, but several of them

“Royal Guards, attack!” the commander bellowed. Dozens of white-coated stallions soared towards the wendigos. The ten or so who had flamethrowers ignited streams of flame, which travelled for fifteen feet before meeting their marks.

“EEEEE!” A half dozen wendigos screeched as their bodies burst into flames. Their brethren advanced forward to take their place, and shot icicles forward at the Royal Guards.

“AAAH!” Three of the guards fell, icicles piercing their wings and bodies. Medic ponies soared down, trying to catch them before they hit the ground below.

Volley after volley of wendigos pummeled the cloud wall until it broke, after about five minutes. Now, the flamethrower Royal Guards were the only thing standing in between Cloudsdale and the wendigos.

The Wonderbolts flanked the advancing forces from above, below, and either side. They did as Twilight instructed, and conducted quick hit-and-run attacks. They did not lose as many soldiers as the Royal Guard, due to their speed in evading the icicles, but did still suffer casualties.

Despite their best efforts, a few of the wendigos broke through the pegasi front lines. They evaded the flamethrower lines by zigzagging in-between the pegasi. Once they were in the city, they breathed their frozen breath at the buildings and clouds holding them up. A few of the buildings collased.

*****

“Alright, you guys all dressed up?” Twilight asked.

“Mm-hm,” her five friends responded.

All six ponies were wearing Wonderbolt costumes. Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack wore costumes with fake cardboard wings on the back. The wings were covered in red stains, as if they had been bloodied. Rarity and Twilight’s horns were concealed by their manes. Each pony wore her amulet under her uniform. Twilight’s tiara was concealed by her mane, which Rarity had helped her style to cover it.

“Alright, let’s review the plan,” said Twilight, “We’re going to sneak up behind the Wendigos, as if we had just launched a surprise attack. We won’t actually attack, but in the chaos of the battle, it will be hard to tell that we didn’t. You three are going to pretend to have been hit in the wings by icicles. That way, it won’t look suspicious that we’re carrying you.

“Then, will fly around the perimeter until we find Discord. Finally, we’ll surround him and use the Elements on him. I’ll get him from behind. Rainbow, you and Fluttershy sneak up on him from the sides.

“But what if we get attacked while we’re pretending to be wounded?” said Fluttershy.

“I don’t think that the Wendigos will attack us if they don’t perceive us as a threat.
One of the most effective military tactics is to seriously wound your opponent rather than kill her. It takes three or more doctors and nurses to tend to a badly-wounded pony, and the more ponies that they can tie up with medical care, the fewer they have to face on the battlefield. It’s part of attrition tactics. If you can kill a pony in war, that’s good, but if you can wound her bad enough to require extensive medical care, and then she later dies anyway, that’s even better.”

“Wow, Twilight, you know your military tactics almost as well as I do,” Rainbow Dash gave a sort-of compliment.

“Thanks,” Twilight said, “Now let’s move out!”

*****

Meanwhile, the invading wendigo forces were crushing the city of Cloudsdale. They blew gusts of furious winds at the buildings, and many of them broke apart. Furious snow flurries blew through the cities, and roofs collapsed from the sheer weight of the snow. If the mane six did not hurry and defeat Discord soon, there would be no city left to defend.

“Fall back, fall back!” Spitfire yelled. Her remaining two dozen or so Wonderbolts retreated and regrouped near the weather factory.

“Okay, status report,” she commanded.

“We’ve had over a dozen fatalities,” said one of the Wonderbolt senior officers, “And many more are critically wounded. In total, we have half of our original forces left. The Royal Guard is reporting similar casualty figures. We’re struggling to repel the wendigos that have entered the city, as they have been conducting guerilla-style warfare. They’re taking cover behind buildings, making it difficult to use our flamethrowers on them without burning the buildings, as well.”

Spitfire sighed and shook her head. “Please tell me that you have some good news,” she said.

“We do. The good news is that we have also dealt heavy damage to the wendigos. Earlier, our scouts estimated their numbers at several thousand. Now, we estimate their numbers at only a few hundred. Though a dozen or so of them have breached the Royal Guard line, the line is still holding fairly well and most of the wendigo forces are still outside the city.”

Spitfire responded, “Well, if we can keep those ratios up, we will kill them all before they kill us all,” said Spitfire, “Conduct house-to-house sweeps of all of Cloudsdale, and kill any and all wendigos you see on sight, as soon as you see them. Deploy snipers onto the rooftops. Stay out of the way of their icicles, but do not retreat. Clear, capture and hold each section of the city, one section at a time. Meanwhile, I’ll radio the Royal Guard commander. No more messing around. It’s time to break out the heavy weaponry on the battlefield.”

*****

The mane six circled around a full two miles outside of the outermost edge of the invading wendigo army. They did this to ensure that neither the wendigos nor Discord would see them. After about twenty minutes, they were a mile behind and several hundred feet above the rear of the wendigo army.

“Well, it looks like there’s a lot less of them now,” said Fluttershy.

“Good, that means it will be easier to find Discord and get to him,” said Rainbow.

“Okay, girls,” said Twilight, “You know the drill. Head back towards Cloudsdale as if you’re transporting wounded ponies, and stay above the wendigo army. When you see Discord, descend to near his location. I’ll fire off a beacon from my horn once I see that all of us are in place. When you see the beacon, it means it’s time to fire all of our elements at him!”

“Yes ma’am!” the five ponies responded.

*****

Rainbow Dash carried Applejack on the right side of the wendigo army. The wendigos were mostly preoccupied with fighting off the Royal Guard infantry.

“I wonder where the rest of the Wonderbolts are,” said Rainbow Dash, “I haven’t seen any since we came back over here.”

Applejack, who Rainbow Dash was carrying in her hooves, responded. “Eh, who knows; they might be regroupin,’ maybe.”

“Sounds plausible enough.” Rainbow whispered, “Oh, and try to act wounded, would you? We don’t want to blow our cover.”

“Act wounded? What in tarnation do you mean? I’ve got a pair of fake, bloody orange wings on the back of mah costume. What else do you want?”
“I don’t know, Applejack, like keep your head down. Maybe moan a bit, like you’re in pain.”

Applejack let her head fall down and yelled, “Aaaah! The pain, the pain! Oh, the ponamity!”

Rainbow Dash glared at Applejack and whispered, “Not like that, Applejack! Do you want Discord to hear us?”

“Hey, speakin’ of, I see him right over there,” said Applejack, pointing with her hoof towards the center of the wendigo army. Sure enough, the Draconequss stood, shouting out orders to his troops. He did not seem to notice the two ponies, as he was facing towards Cloudsdale.

“Good. Now we just need to wait for the—“

As if on cue, the two ponies saw a bright purple beam shoot of into the sky above and behind Discord. Thankfully, the beam was silent, and Discord did not turn to face them.

“Alright, let’s go!” Rainbow said, zipping off towards Discord as fast as she could considering that she was carrying Applejack, a heavy-set earth pony.

“I see the others,” Rainbow whispered, “Three, two, one… FIRE!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash fired their elements towards Discord, and they saw their other friends do the same thing.

“What the—” Discord said as he turned behind himself. However, he was too late, and his body began turning to stone.

“AAAH!” he yelled as the transformation took him, starting in his feet, moving to his hands, and then all the way up to his head.

Twilight grabbed the stone statue which was once Discord with her telekinesis, so that it wouldn’t fall to the earth.

“Good job, girls! We did it! Now the wendigos will leave us alone, and we can start to rebuild in peace!”

“Yep. Let’s go back to the others and tell them the good—“

A loud, cacophonous boom sounded as orange flashes enveloped the wendigos.

“EEEEE!” they shrieked as their bodies exploded into chunks and bits. More and more explosions and bangs sounded as hundreds of the icy horses faced their deaths.

“What the…” Twilight said, looking up to see dozens of Royal Guard members flying and dropping explosives onto the wendigos.

“It’s the artillery!” said Rainbow Dash, “I was wondering when they were going to bust it out.”

“Yes, though this is unnecessary; we just defeated Discord!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

“Yeah, shouldn’t the wendies leave us alone now that Discord’s imprisoned?” Pinkie asked.

“Well, they should, but those pegasi might not have gotten the message,” said Twilight, “Let’s go back to Cloudsdale and tell everypony that we won. But, we might want to fly around again. I wouldn’t want to be here when these bombs and mortar shells explode.”

The six ponies flew back to Cloudsdale. On their way, they didn’t see any more wendigos.

“Talk about thoroughness,” Fluttershy scoffed, “You’d think the pegasi would at least take prisoners!”

“That’s not really possible with beasts who don’t speak any language that we understand,” said Rainbow Dash, “But point taken about how much of a victory this was. Hah, I wouldn’t be surprised if we’ve driven them extinct!”

Twilight said, “I know that you’re only joking, but you very well may be correct. Most of the old legends and tales about wendigos seem to indicate that they are only as numerous as dragons. That would mean that there were only a few thousand of them before this war. Given that there were a few thousand of them here, I’d say that Discord found a way to bring every wendigo in the world here. Probably because he’s Discord, and they’re attracted to hatred and division. Since he causes hatred and division, it was a match made in Cloudsdale.”

“If the wendigos are extinct then it serves those ‘em right, though,” said Applejack, “Tryin’ to destroy Cloudsdale? There shouldn’t be any of ‘em left!”

“Yeah, but you have to admit that it’s sad when a species goes extinct, even ones as destructive as the wendigos,” said Fluttershy, "Though I guess it was unavoidable in a way."

“Eh, who cares? It’s not like they served a purpose or anything,” Pinkie joked.

“Somepony wasn’t paying attention during the Hearths’ Warming Eve pageant,” said Rarity, “If you recall, it was the destructive blizzards caused by the wendigos which led the three pony races to stop bickering amongst themselves and work together. I suppose that that was one good thing that came of them and their blizzards.”

“True,” said Pinkie, chuckling, “But hey, it’s not like the three races are ever going to separate into their own countries again or anything! I mean, what sort of crazy idea is that?”

Everypony chuckled. Everypony, that is, except for Twilight. The alicorn princess simply thought back to the conversation she had had several weeks ago with Celestia regarding her secret laws against unicorns.

“Yep. The unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies are tighter than the bolts on a railroad. Nothin’ could ever drive us apart!” Applejack said.

“Quite true,” Rarity added.

“Exactly!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Indeed,” said Fluttershy.

“Mm-hm.” Twilight muttered, simply gazing off into space.

About ten minutes later, they arrived at the City of Cloudsdale. Though no wendigos remained, the extensive damage they caused remained. Roofs were collapsed from the weight of icicles, and many buildings were blown over by wind.

“Oh my gosh, it looks like a warzone!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Well yeah, that’s because it is,” Pinkie joked.

“Goodness, all of our old friends from flight school! I hope that their homes are okay,” Fluttershy said, looking at Rainbow Dash.

They headed towards the weather factory. The building had sustained some serious damage, as part of the cloud foundation upon which it sat had been destroyed by wendigos.

“Ah, is that a statue of Discord that I see you carrying, Twilight? Good job, girls!” said Spitfire, flying over to greet them.

“Yes, we defeated him,” said Twilight, “How did you handle the Wendigos?”

“Well, it was a grueling fight. We lost thirty Wonderbolts and over two hundred Royal Guards. Even more are in critical condition. But we won. We wiped out every last wendigo in Discord’s entire army.”

So the mane six’s suspicions had been correct.

“Wow, congratulations, I guess,” said Rainbow.

“Yeah,” said Spitfire, “The royal guard commander and I didn’t make the decision to drop bombs on them lightly. I know I talked about wanting to take on the wendigos earlier, but bombing is something I didn’t want to do; I just wanted to defeat them. But we had no choice. They attacked the city, and we did what we had to do to save the city. And you can see how much damage they did, even then.”

“I understand,” said Twilight, “It looks like Cloudsdale has a lot of rebuilding to do.”

“Yep,” said Spitfire, “We don’t yet know, but we figure that thousands of pegasi are now homeless. Maybe even tens of thousands. We won’t know until they assess the damage.”

“Well, let’s hope that it isn’t too terrible,” said Rainbow.

Two of the Royal Guards carted off the statue of Discord to Princess Celestia’s palace. The six ponies, exhausted from the day, headed back to Ponyville.

“Well, that was sure somethin’ else,” said Applejack.

“Mm-hm,” the other five ponies said.

“You all did great. It’s just too bad that Cloudsdale was so devastated, and it’s too bad that all the wendigos had to die,” said Twilight.

“That’s war for you,” Rainbow replied. The other six nodded their heads.

*****

Over the next week, Equestria began the process of rebuilding. Thousands of earth ponies joined the earth-moving team to fill in the volcanic rift which Discord had created in the Ghastly Gorge. The estimates were that it would take months. Meanwhile, the heat from the rift continued, leading to dry, desert-like conditions across southern Equestria. Compounding the problem, wildfires broke out during the heat, destroying thousands of homes. That added together with the homes destroyed in the Wendigo Wars meant that nearly 10% of the population of Equestria was now homeless.

Though the crack in the earth was filled by the following year, the drought had been around long enough to cause most of the crops in Southern Equestria to wither and die, and it was too hot for them to be re-planted, because they'd just wilt again. Thus, a famine spread across the nation. Food prices soared. Many ponies had to choose between spending money to rebuilding their homes or spending it to buy food.

Discontent and unhappiness spread in the wake of this disaster. Ponies demanded that their old standards of living be restored. They set their eyes on the one place in Equestria which had been spared the devastation of Discord: the capital city of Canterlot.