After Rainbow and Spike joined the impromptu group hug, the group of friends enjoyed each others warmth until a polite cough behind them could be heard. When they all turned they saw the princesses standing with barely concealed smiles, “I take it all is well?” asked Celestia with a chuckle.
“Wanna jump in? The waters fine,” joked John only to be poked in the stomach by Twilight.
“Don't start more trouble,” said Twilight definitively.
“Oh, fine..." pouted John. "You aren't going to let me have fun anymore are you?” asked John to the group of ponies.
“Nope!” chirped Fluttershy, happily speaking gently into John's ear.
The innocence in Fluttershy's tones sent a shiver throughout John's body, “Please...” moaned John, “don't do that...” John paused and fixed Fluttershy with a hungry stare, “Do it again.” Fluttershy's face immediately burst into a blush as pink as her mane.
John burst into a hearty laugh as Fluttershy retreated behind her mane, “Ah, Fluttershy I love you.” A gasp echoed from everypony, even the princesses couldn't hide their shock, “What?”
“When y'all say love?” asked Apple Jack clearly disturbed.
“Like one loves friends or family members,” replied John as he patted Fluttershy's mane. As John's hand stroked her mane Fluttershy eventually moved her face out from hiding, ending in her nuzzling his hand as he continued to pet her.
“Well that's alright ah guess,” said Apple Jack slowly.
“So,” began Twilight; the tone of which made John roll his eyes, “about that show.”
John turned to face her, only to be reminded of his current state, “Now about that...whoaa.” John nearly tumbled to the ground when he was wrapped in a faint golden light. When John's vision stopped swimming he saw Celestia cradling him with her magic, the whole thing left him jokingly saying, “It's good to know your magic doesn't hurt on contact.”
Celestia simply rolled her eyes and smiled as she helped him to his feet, “Twilight, I think it would be best if we wait to ask questions until our new friend here has had something to eat.” Celestia then turn towards the house.
“Ladies first,” said John as he stepped to the side allowing the others to pass.
“Such manners,” said Rarity as she trotted past with Spike in tow, “You could learn from him Spikey Wikey.”
John mouthed the nickname to himself looking confused but said nothing. As the group approached the door, Fluttershy; with a smile, said, “I'll get to work on making food for everypony!”
“Thank you my dear,” replied Celestia. When everyone was inside a thought crossed Celestia's mind, “On the subject of food, what are your dietary habits? You mentioned earlier you were a...how did you phrase it...”
“I'm from an alien species of warlike omnivores,” said Pinkie Pie, somehow mimicking John's tones, inflections and voice perfectly.
“Thank you my dear,” smiled Celestia. “So what does that entail? What does you species usually eat?”
John closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, “To be perfectly honest, everything that can be digested.” John; with eyes still closed, waited to hear a reaction from the ponies but when nothing came, he looked around and said, “I was expecting a more dramatic reaction.”
“Well,” began Twilight, “it's not like there aren't carnivores on the planet. Take dragons for instance.”
“Hey!” cried Spike, only for Rarity to pat his head. John quirked an eyebrow and grew a cheeky grin, causing a fierce blush to appear on Rarity's face, and for her hoof to leave Spike's head.
“Yeah, and griffons are omnivores too,” said Rainbow Dash. John was about to say something perverted when his right hand shot up and covered his mouth, silencing his joke before it could do any harm. The whole thing caught the ponies’ attention but they decided to let it slide.
“So how many of them have ponies as a staple of their diets?” asked John his interest piqued.
“Dragons, have some rogue members of their species who have been known to eat ponies,” explained Celestia with a sorrowful sigh. “Thankfully this is a rare event and the dragon rulers usually deal with the rogue before too many deaths happen.”
“Same with Griffons,” explained Rainbow Dash, again earning another perverse thought from John which his right hand thankfully stifled. “Except the griffons who eat ponies tend to have some sort of illness, like rabies or hysteria.”
The conversation quickly sucked the fun out of the room, prompting John to say, “Well if it makes any of you feel better, you won't have to worry about me eating anypony. My culture has a taboo on eating cats, dogs, horses and any variant thereof.”
“So you aren't likely to eat one of my little ponies?” asked Celestia wanting a more direct answer.
“Well not until after the third date.” replied John as his left hand fought off his right.
Celestia was working towards a scowl when the truth behind his words sank in. “Oh for the love of Equestria!” sighed Celestia as she rolled her eyes. John gave a toothy grin as the same realization struck each of the ponies in turn.
“Spike!” yelled Rarity, “Forget what I said about learning from him!”
“Ditto,” groaned Twilight as she facehoofed. Spike for his part fought tooth and scale to keep from laughing.
Tenderheart and Rainbow Dash both had to lean on one another as they laughed uncontrollably. Redheart and Apple Jack slid their respective headgear over their eyes while groaning, “perverts...” Pinkie Pie and Princess Luna just looked confused and while the latter didn't surprise him, John had to pick his jaw off the floor when Pinkie Pie tilted her head.
“Pray tell,” asked Princess Luna, “what is the significance of a “third date”?”
John was about to say something when Celestia shot him a “do and die” glare and considering what she'd put him through on accident, John didn't want to risk it. “Uh, I'll tell you when you're older, Luna.”
Celestia laughed as her sister's face ballooned in frustration but before Luna could retort, Fluttershy reentered the room, “Okay everypony, breakfast is ready.” The only reply came in the form a loud rumble from John's stomach.
“Sheesh,” whistled Apple Jack, “y'all must be starvin'.”
John just smiled sheepishly, “Just a wee bit.”
“Well let's eat!” cheered Rainbow Dash as she flew headlong into the kitchen knocking into Fluttershy.
Fluttershy, being unprepared for Rainbow Dash, spun out of control, but before she could hit the ground John stepped in and scooped her up. John couldn't fight a laugh when Fluttershy's eyes kept spinning, “Oh....thank you John,” groaned Fluttershy.
“Well, seeing as how another injury has been avoided, Tenderheart and I are going to head on back to Ponyville,” said Redheart as she put on a saddlebag. “Now, John you should get some rest and try not to move your head too much, understand?”
“Ah, can't you stay for brunch?” pouted John, only to stop and look at the pegasus in his arms, “Heh, that is of course with your permission, Shy.”
Fluttershy blushed at the nickname as she made herself comfortable, “I...I don't mind...”
“That's sweet and all, but we need to check on Lyra,” commented Redheart.
“Lyra!?” squawked John, “Is she alright?”
Redheart looked confused as Tenderheart said, “We're not sure, Bon Bon brought her in yesterday when you were out. Something about how a couple nights ago she passed out and hasn't woken up since.”
“Oh, man I hope she pulls through,” commented John.
“How do you...” asked Redheart only to be cut off by John.
“The show.”
“Yeah,we'll have to talk about that later,” said Tenderheart as she looked at the iPad that had been left on Fluttershy's coffee table.
“Alright. Hey, if ever there's anything I can do for you two just let me know,” replied John as the two mares approached the door.
Redheart smiled, about to turn down John's offer, when Tenderheart laughed and said, “Unless you can get us a bigger clinic with some extra staff, don't worry about it.” The pair started laughing as John gave an apologetic smile, then his eyebrows shut up and he smiled at Celestia, who gave him a disturbed look in return.
“Yes?” asked Celestia slowly.
“Yeah, you know that favor you owe me?” asked John, to which Celestia slowly nodded, “Good, hook 'em up and we'll call it even.” Celestia, Redheart, Tenderheart, along with everypony else's jaws hit the floor in amazement. Seeing the looks on everypony's faces, John shrugged and said, “What?”
“That's incredibly generous,” gasped Rarity.
“Yeah, ah never heard of such a thing,” whistled Apple Jack. John felt a slight squeeze on his chest as Fluttershy nuzzled him.
“Not really,” answered John dismissively. “When you consider the fact that I'm still injured, and I'll probably need more care down the road. This is just an investment in my continued survival.”
Celestia shook her head with a smile as she said, “Be that as it may, I'm afraid I cannot grant your request John.” Before anyone could say anything Celestia held up a hoof and said, “I cannot grant your request because Ponyville has been long overdue for an upgrade in its medical services and as Princess it's my duty to ensure the safety of my...”
“Yours!” coughed John while pointing back and forth between Luna and Celestia.
Luna smiled brightly as she finished her sisters statement, “It's our duty to ensure the safety of our citizens.”
Celestia shot John a mischievous smile as she said, “You're never going to let me do anything without involving Luna, are you?”
“Nothing on a royal level at least,” returned John with a grin.
The two nurses approached and bowed to the royal sisters, “Thank you very much, Your Majesty, er I mean Majesties.” Celestia nuzzled her sister’s head as Redheart turned to John, “And John, thank you as well. Even though you didn't have to you were willing to give up a lot to help us.”
John just shrugged, “It's cool. So when should I come by for a check up?”
“I think that for the time being you should remain out of Ponyville,” commented Celestia before Redheart could give out a doctor's order. When John looked at her confused; and slightly offended Celestia added, “At least until I can get your citizenship processed.”
John nodded his head slowly, earning an “ahem” from Tenderheart.
“Sorry, okay? Sheesh,” whined John.
“Well, if that's the case, we'll come see you in a few days,” said Redheart before she stopped and asked, “Where will you be staying?”
John just looked at Celestia, “Yeah, what about that?” Celestia was about to talk when she was cut off by a faint whisper.
“He can stay with me...” said Fluttershy, before she peaked out of her mane, “that is...if you want to...”
John looked astonished, “Are you sure Fluttershy?” Fluttershy, still in John's arms, just gave a slight nod, which earned a hug in return, “Thanks Shy. This really means a lot to me. You ever need something taken care of, just ask.” Fluttershy returned the hug after a bit, only to break it and fly on her own.
“Well alright then,” said Redheart with a blush, “if you're staying here, then in a few days we'll be over to take check up on you.”
The nurses took their leave and everyone waved goodbye until another rumble reminded John of his hunger, and therefore his wooziness. “Okay...let's get some grub before I pass out,” groaned John as he leaned against the door frame of Fluttershy's front door.
“Hey!” called Rainbow Dash from the kitchen, “Bring on the chow!”
“Yah gotta be kiddin’ me?” sighed Apple Jack as she entered the kitchen. Turns out while everyone was saying goodbye to the nurses, Rainbow Dash ate the entire breakfast by herself. Apple Jack, determined to show her anger, started pummeling Rainbow Dash with her hat, “Gosh darn it Rainbow!”
“Ow, hey,” cried Rainbow Dash, “Hey John!? Aren't you going to help?”
John, feeling snarky, decided to play up his condition. “Oh, I would Rainbow Dash but I'm SOOOO HUUUUNNNNGRY, and WOOOZZZYYY,” moaned John before his face deadpanned and his tone became purely sarcastic, “If only somepony didn't eat all the food.” The other got a good laugh and Apple Jack ceased her attack, as Rainbow Dash glared daggers at John.
Fluttershy gathered up the plates and set out more, “Okay, everypony, if you take a seat I'll have breakfast made in a little bit.” Everyone took a seat as Fluttershy started singing, the tune carrying on the air into everyone's ears, bringing a unearthly calm to the room.
“God that's beautiful,” sighed John as he rested his head on his hand. Throughout the time it took for Fluttershy to cook breakfast everyone sat quietly enjoying Fluttershy's singing. When Fluttershy finished John clapped his hands together and was so joined by everypony else. “That was amazing Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy just smiled shyly and laid plates of food for everypony, “Thanks John, here you go as nurse Redheart said, eggs and prune.” John gave a fake smile, and began eating, “Do you like it?” asked Fluttershy with a wide eyed smile and a “squeak.”
John swallowed and drank some orange juice, “Oh, yeah...delicious.” With a smile Fluttershy began eating her food.
“So,” began Twilight after John ate his second bite, “about the show?” Without thinking John drank some more orange juice before nodding his head, earning a cough and stern look from Fluttershy, “How are your people watching us?”
“I really doubt it's that simple,” commented John. “It's not possible for my people to watch other planets. In truth the best answer I can give Twilight is this.” John gave a dramatic pause, allowing all the ponies to focus on him, “Sheer. Raw. Dumb. Luck.”
“What?!” yelled Twilight only to get a stern glare from Celestia. “I mean, how is that possible?”
John thought about it for a second before snapping his fingers, “The Million Monkeys with Type Writers Theory. Essentially, the theorem goes like this...” John spent the next hour explaining the idea, and while Celestia, Luna, Twilight and Pinkie Pie got it, the latter much to John's disbelief, the others just sat their confused until John said, “Sheer dumb luck.”
“While unfulfilling, that would be the best analogy for the facts presented before us, unless of course you’re misleading us,” countered Luna giving John a skeptical glance while doing her best impression of Gendo Ikari.
After laughing a bit, much to the confusion of the others, John said, “I'm being completely honest, Luna I couldn't lie to you girls...well not intentionally or maliciously at any rate. Besides, it's not like I was part of the cast of people involved with making the show, I mean if it was, Pinkie Pie would have remained a pegasus pony...”
“I was suppose to be a pegasus pony?!” asked Pinkie Pie extremely enthused at the prospect.
“Yeah, you were suppose to rain parties upon unsuspecting ponies...”
“No change there then,” commented Twilight dryly much to everyone's amusement.
“So it's not like the idea for the show, started out as being about us?” asked Celestia.
“Not at all, I mean Rainbow Dash was supposed to be called FireFly. After a G1 pony with Dash's personality and a fan favorite of the women who started the show, Lauren Faust,” explained John.
“G1?” asked Twilight, setting off a series of questions and answers about the My Little Pony franchise that lasted the rest of the morning. “So, the idea of a show about ponies existed before the show about us?”
“Oh, yeah,” answered John before he started laughing, “Oh, man I wish I had some of the earlier generation pony shows on me, I would love to show you the G3 Rainbow Dash.”
“Why, what is she like?” asked Rainbow Dash, only to regret it when John smiled evilly.
“Think Rarity without a personality, or likeability. Your G3 counter part was a fashion obsessed airhead who was always trying to dress in style. You even had a theme song. “Rainbow Dash always dresses in style.”” The look on Rainbow Dash sent a wave of laughter throughout the kitchen.
“Wow, Rainbow,” laughed Apple Jack, “maybe you and Rarity can get together to talk fashion.”
“Oh, I have the cutest little outfit that's just perfect for you Rainbow Dash,” added Rarity with a sly smile.
“Oh, Apple Jack you're going to hate me for this, but I just can't resist, be right back.” John excused himself from the table, grabbed his iPad and returned as fast as he could, “Let me introduce you to G1 Apple Jack's theme song.” The smile of John's face made her hair stand on end, but Apple Jack wouldn't back down. Apple Jack was confident in her ability to withstand anything John could dish out, but as soon as the song started she swatted at John with her hat.
“Stop that this instance,” yelled Apple Jack as she started chasing John around the table. John just defiantly started singing along with the song, and when the chorus came up a second time, so did everypony else. “Come on y'all this ain't funny!” whined Apple Jack as she hid her face under her hat.
“You're right,” laughed Rainbow Dash after the song ended, “It's hilarious!”
After everyone calmed down and John received his just punishment from Apple Jack, Twilight asked.“So what about the rest of us?”
“Most of you are entirely new to the franchise and exist entirely within Friendship is Magic so far as I know. In truth I never watched the older series as the characters and settings were underdeveloped and geared entirely towards little girls. I mean, my little pony, the franchise was so bad, even in terms of little girls cartoon shows that the show about all of you was ridiculed and hated before it aired. That was until we “bronies” came into the picture.”
“You “bronies”?” asked Celestia, sending John off on another multihour talk. “So bronies are male in your world who enjoy hearing about us.”
“And writing about us?” asked Twilight slightly disturbed.
“And...watching us?” asked Rainbow Dash as she stealthily looked over her shoulder.
“Essentially,” said John with a yawn, “we bronies have really come together as a “subculture” or culture different than the norm, and are doing a lot of good in our world because of you girls. Where as normally males are meant to be tough, no nonsense, stoic, muscle bound tough guys with sticks up their backsides. We bronies are just fun loving goofballs who like cute things, as apposed to explosions and war, death and violence. Though I'll admit I can enjoy some violence in my entertainment.”
“How can you enjoy the idea of violence?” asked Rarity appalled.
“It's a side effect of living in a male dominated world locked in near constant wars. Where lives are lost by the millions daily and death is common, even outside of war,” commented John with yet another yawn. The frank, detached, description of his world left the others sick. “Sorry, once I get sleeping like this I tend to get more and more tactless, which considering what I'm like normally, is really saying something.”
“If you're world is so dark,” asked Celestia, “why would you ask to return?”
“To be honest, I didn't want to but felt immediately asking for citizenship, or asylum, would be too much too quick. Besides I have family back home, and while I may hate them, their still family and more than a few of them I do love, just not most of them.”
“Ah, can't understand hating your family,” said Apple Jack looking and sounding downcast. “If'n yah don't mind, why do you hate them?”
“Well besides how they treated me as a child, and make no mistake I wish I had a parent like Twilight, unintentional neglect is at least unintentional. The environment I grew up in was truly messed up.” John mumbled something under his breath towards the end. “Really, Apple Jack, let's put it this way. I want to be a teacher for two reasons. One: I love kids, from babies to young adults. Two: So I can find kids who are going through the same crap I did and save them from it. Lord knows they need it.”
“That sounds like some truly noble goals,” said Celestia, giving the half awake human a warm motherly look. “Taking hardship and turning into a force for good is a strength I'm thankful my little ponies don't have to experience. But it seems we've kept you awake for too long, and considering the injuries you're recovering from I think it would be best to let you rest.”
“Speaking of that,” groaned John as he laid his head on the table, “how'd this get fixed?”
“I'm sorry?” asked Celestia.
“This table,” groaned John louder slowly lifting his head from its roost only to slam it back down. “Tenderheart said you threw me through it and into a cabinet.”
“That would have been me,” replied Rarity. “I couldn't let such a crime against fabulousity go uncorrected and oak tables are simply gorgeous and the broken china was a crime against all things decent .”
“Groovy,” grumbled John as he fell asleep, face flat on the table.
“Poor thing,” sighed Celestia, “given his state I'm amazed he stayed up so long. Fluttershy, you have my thanks for letting him stay here.” Celestia turned to the yellow mare and bowed her head.
“Oh, please Princess, you don't have to,” stuttered Fluttershy as she rushed to bow her head, “I mean after all, he needs to be taken care of and it's my special talent to take care of other creatures.”
“As Twilight has told me,” said Celestia kindly before her face became serious, “but remember despite the fact that he's not a pony, he's also not an animal. Treat him like you would anypony else.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” said Fluttershy with a guilty smile.
“Very good, now Twilight would you mind if I talked to you outside,” said Celestia, “alone?”
The others had hoped the storm had passed, but clearly it hadn't, “Yes, Princess,” sighed Twilight, relenting to her fate.
Leaving the others to get John to the couch, Celestia and Twilight went outside. When Spike went to follow Celestia looked down at him with a sweet smile, “Don't worry, Spike. I merely want to talk with Twilight, though I would also like to speak with you once we're done.”
“Okay,” said Spike as he watched the door close behind them.
Once outside Celestia let out a sigh and stared into the distance, “Twilight Sparkle, I am very proud of you.”
Twilight, who had been waiting for another tirade of yelling, just sat dumb struck by her teacher, “Excuse me?”
“I said, I'm proud of you,” reiterated Celestia, as she turned towards her student. “Forgiving John took tremendous amounts of maturity, even for some of the eldest of ponies. For one of your age, it's truly remarkable. That being said, I want to make this clear. I agree with John wholeheartedly, that Spike's treatment is intolerable. I want you to know that I will monitor you and Spike very closely from here out. Any mistreatment of Spike shall be punished, quickly,” Celestia threw her wings out as far as she could and scowled as harshly as she could manage, “and mercilessly.”
Twilight held her ground and looked at Celestia despite the fear she was feeling, “I...I understand, I will take better care of Spike. I'm ashamed to admit that I never considered his feelings about everything. I'm actually thankful to John for confronting me about it.”
Celestia scowled turned into a smile as she said, “I'm pleased to hear this.” Celestia began channeling her magic and set the sun on its path towards setting. “Tell me, what did you talk about when we left you alone?”
Twilight thought back and said, “He said, that we should learn to appreciate each other more. That we should take the time to say “please” and “thank you”, mostly just remember the little things because when you forget them you can destroy your friendships, and your families.”
“Then he is wise far beyond his years,” sighed Celestia as she looked towards the moon cresting the horizon. “It took me nearly a hundred years after banishing Luna to figure out that simple truth, and I had over eleven thousand years before that. Time I very much doubt he's had.”
It took Twilight a second to take in her teachers age, “You've never mentioned your age before Princess.”
“It's not proper for a lady to talk about it,” replied Celestia with a smile. “That's all I wanted to say to you Twilight. I hope you understand that my feelings towards you haven't changed. You are still my most prized student, and that's why I've acted as I have today. I have high hopes for you, and to hear the truth from a being not of this world. An alien from a entirely different world, with morals so different than our own, well it had shaken my faith in you.”
Celestia's final statement was probably more painful for Twilight to hear than anything else today. “However, seeing you not only forgive John of this, but to have learned a truly priceless lesson from it, makes me more sure now than ever. Twilight Sparkle, you'll go down as one of the greatest unicorns in history, I'll see to it personally.”
Twilight, rushed forth and nuzzled her mentor, and felt relieved when it was returned, “Thank you princess. I'll try my best to make you proud.”
“You already have, Twilight. You already have.” said Celestia as she raised her head, “Now if you'd tell Spike to come outside I wish to speak with him.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” replied Twilight as she ran into the cottage.
Seconds later, Spike walked up to Celestia, “Yes, Your Majesty?”
Celestia magicked Spike up and hugged him tenderly, “Please Spike, you're like a son to me. You don't need to stand by tradition, call me Celestia.”
“Yes, ma'am,” replied Spike as he hugged Celestia.
“I guess it will do,” remarked Celestia as she let Spike down. “Spike let me ask you something. Do you truly want to stay with Twilight?” Celestia had expected a pause but...
“Of course!” shouted Spike looking offended, only to realize who he was talking to, “Oh...I....I'm sorry, Your Highness.”
Celestia just smiled and said, “Don't apologize Spike, it's precisely what I wanted to hear.” Spike sighed in relief as Celestia continued, “That being said, I need your help in teaching Twilight. Are you up to the task?” Spike stood straight and gave a quick salute, which amused Celestia to no end, “Very well. I will need you to report to me any mistreatment by Twilight to me. I understand this may feel wrong, or like a betrayal but doing this will help Twilight realize her true potential. Twilight's future is entirely within your hooves, er claws. Do you understand?”
Spike gave a reluctant nod, “I guess.”
“Very good,” said Celestia as the others left the house. “Alright everyone, I think it's time to say good night. Oh, Twilight I'd like you to come visit John in a few days, try to learn as much as you can from him. Clearly he has wisdom that you can probably use, and his knowledge, what little he may posses on the subject, about technology could be of great benefit to Equestria. See if you can convince him to let us examine his, “iPod” I believe he called it?”
“iPad!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, correcting the princess.
“Yes, thank you Pinkie Pie,” smiled Celestia. “Oh, girls. The Hearth's Warming Play shall be in a week in Canterlot. I would be honoured if you'd come and perform the play as the mane cast. Are you interested?”
The girls immediately replied with a, “YEAH!!”
“Splendid,” replied Luna, “What of John, dear sister? Will we be able to grant him citizenship in time to enjoy the play?”
“Truthfully, no,” answered Celestia as she looked towards the cottage where John was sleeping. “The process shall take a long time, given the mere fact that he is extraterrestrial means new rules and regulations shall have to implemented and doing so while avoiding the court shall be the true challenge.” The girls all looked confused but said nothing as Celestia continued, “He seems trust worthy enough, I don't see it being a problem if he's left alone for a day or so while the girls perform the play.”
Everyone else agreed, and soon bid farewell as they all went their ways to their respective homes. Fluttershy went inside to find John sleeping comfortably on her couch; his legs haphazardly lying on one of her end tables. “Sleep tight,” said Fluttershy as she began cleaning the kitchen.
Much like her skill at cooking, perfected over years of working with animals, cleaning the mess in the kitchen took her no time at all. With a slight yawn Fluttershy retired to her room, sparing John another glance as she passed, “See you tomorrow.”
After that Fluttershy got into bed and quickly fell asleep, just in time to miss a teal glow coming from downstairs.