//------------------------------//
// Part 1 - Chapter 3 
// Story: Immortal 
// by The Grimm Reaper 
//------------------------------//

	I awoke to fire all around me. My body was undamaged aside from the occasional scorch mark on my fur. At first, I couldn’t figure out what had happened. One minute, I was with the others and the next…

The memories came flooding back like a migraine mixed with brain freeze. It was overwhelming, the memories that returned to me; horrifying even. I couldn’t believe I’d done what I did. The memories, although only a few hours in total were destructive to my mind. I let out a blood-curdling scream and tore at my own face. It was the first time in my life that I hated the fact that I was immortal. I tore and tore at my face, but the flesh just grew back behind the trail my claws left behind.

Finding the action useless, I threw my head down onto the ground trying to bash my head in. Even that didn’t work. I smashed and smashed, breaking my skull a thousand times over, but every time it just healed and grew stronger. Finally, I gave up the self-torture for the time being and just collapsed where I was, sobbing at the memory that just didn’t seem like mine…

“What I did drove me insane, C. I did nothing but gnaw my own legs off a thousand times over for the first five hundred years.” I explained, looking her in the eye. She wasn’t convinced.

“So you went a little crazy for five hundred years, big deal! You deserved no less; in fact, you deserved more. You abandoned us, Shiro; left us at the mercy of that thing. We suffered pain and indecencies that still cause Discord to wake up screaming at night. We all would have escaped had you not run away with your tail between your legs.” she argued.

“I’ve suffered enough for that mistake, C! We all have.” I said.

“WE WERE TORTUREED, SHIRO!!!” She began to yell.

“PHYSICAL SCARS HEAL, NOT MENTAL ONES!!!” I yelled back, throwing myself at her and pinning her to the ground. To make sure she couldn’t throw me off, I used magic ring to pin me to her.

“IT’S TAKEN UNTIL LAST YEAR FOR ME  TO RECOLLECT MY SANITY, AND ONLY LAST WEEK DID I REMEMBER WHO I WAS! I TRAVELLED THE WORLD NOT KNOWING WHO I WAS FOR FIFTEEN HUNDRED YEARS, GUILTY OVER SOMETHING I COULDN’T REMEMBER! THE MASK ON MY FACE FRIGHTENED ME AND I COULDN’T TAKE IT OFF BECAUSE OF REASONS I’D FORGOTTEN!”

My teeth were bared at her, my pupils contracted to pinpricks. “YOU GOT OFF EASY! I DESTROYED NOT ONLY OUR FRIENDSHIP, BUT WHO I WAS!”

“Is that why you only go by the first half of your name?” Celestia asked, her voice and expression as calm as if she were disappointed instead of angry. Her question threw me off and I regained control of myself. I removed the magical rings that pinned me to her and stepped off, letting her sit up and brush herself off. She still wore that angry frown, but she was calmer.

“So what if it is?” I asked, getting defensive.

“That means you recognise that you’re half the wolf you used to be. Like Shaiya, you’re dead. That pisses me off more than you could possibly know. Because the real you is as dead as our friendship, I can’t hate what remains.” she said, turning to where her throne used to be. With a quick flash of her horn, time seemed to reverse itself in the room and everything that had been destroyed, gradually returned to its rightful place, like watching a small twister demolish a sand castle in reverse.

“I guess that means you don’t know about the others?” she asked.  I knew about Discord after the entirety of Equestria had been turned literally topsy-turvy, but the others?

“Other than Discord, I don’t know what you mean.” I replied.

“Discord, as well as Sombra, Luna, Chrysalis and Abbadon went Crazy like you. Luna a little later than the others, but I managed to get her back. Discord’s on the mend also, as I’m sure you’re aware. Unfortunately, Sombra was destroyed. His own mind was beyond saving. Abbadon has yet to reveal himself.” she explained. “But the one I feared most of all was you. I can never forgive you, Shiro. Not only did you abandon us, but in doing so, you let Shaiya die.”

I lowered my head in submission to the fact that I was indeed responsible for her death. As I thought over the events, something came to mind.

“Hang on… what about you?” I asked. Celestia seemed confused.

“What do you mean?”

“You mentioned that everyone grew insane at some point, but what about you? How exactly was your sanity saved?” I asked. Celestia’s eye twitched slightly.

“Shiro, you know me better than anyone, unfortunately. You should already have the answer.” She replied before going on. 

“I was always a little crazy to begin with. But what ultimately kept me in the right frame of mind was my hatred for you. That was all I thought about as that thing assaulted me.” she said, sitting in her newly reformed throne.

“Only it’s not me you really hate, is it. It’s the wolf I used to be.” I clarified. Celestia nodded and sighed in irritation.

“Which means that what kept me sane through the years is gone. So all I can do with you now is ask you why you ran out on us.” she replied.

I wanted to answer her, I really did. “I don’t remember.” was all I said. If it were possible, I’d have sworn her fur turned to grey.

“Honestly, Shiro, you are just a titanic idiot! A collosal ass-hat! A…”

“A giant douche?” I offered.

“That too!”

“Well, thanks for sizing me up and everything, but I’d like to bring it down a notch.” I said.

“You think I’m joking?! You think that after we’ve had a proper fight and talked through some things that We’re just going to pick up where we left off?” she snapped.

“To be honest, even if that was enough, I wouldn’t be interested in picking up where we left off.” I said, getting up and stretching myself. I noticed Celestia seemed slightly disturbed by that fact. Why that was the case was beyond me.

“And why not?” she asked, hiding that disturbed expression well.

“You said it yourself. I’m not really me anymore. It wouldn’t be the same as before.” I replied. The Alicorn seemed to stir where she was.

“It could be better.” she said grumpily.

“Things don’t get better after that kind of incident, C.” I stated.

“You got better!” she argued.

“Did I?” I challenged. She seemed unsure about that question. “Since when does remembering fragments of what happened and returning to half of what you once were count as being better? I haven’t recovered, Celestia; nor have you or any of the others. It’s difficult to even contemplate the idea that any of us ever will in the future; near or distant.” I approached her, stopping just short of her face.

“Once again, C… The Shiro that you knew … is dead. Can you see the truth in my eyes?” Her expression was familiar to me. I’d seen it only once before. She looked like she did when I left them for dead; horrified.

Before more words could be spoken between us, I threw my head forward, butting her. I was careful to avoid her horn and ultimately succeeded in knocking her out. The princess of the ponies surrounding me fell to the ground, rarely defeated by anyone except the other Immortals. I caught her before her head could hit the side of her throne and let it rest gently there.

“The reason I chose Shiro over Yami was because I’m not a black evil wolf, I’m a white blank slate, now that I’ve obtained my closure. Well, most of it. There’s something I need to get from your vault. I wish I could pay for any expenses I might cause to the door, but sadly, that’ll just be another thing for you to hate me over.” I ran a paw through her transparent mane and smiled.

“I hadn’t realised you’d changed your style. It suits you. I remember the lovely pink you used to have, but this is much more… you.” I said, looking down at her once more. “And I never noticed how beautiful you were. I suppose Shaiya was the reason for that. After all, she was my opposite; the Yang to my Yin. But she’s gone now. It’s a shame it took her dying for me to finally notice you. Too late now, I guess.” I brought my face down to hers and narrowed my eyes.

“Hello Discord.” I said, removing Celestia from my line of sight as I turned around. The draconequus floated there, his arms crossed, holding a rather angry expression.

“Hello old friend, we meet again. I see you made short work of Celestia. Hardly surprising seeing as how she escaped that monster and left us to die… Oh wait, that was you, wasn’t it?” he did not sound pleased.

“Are you angry at me, Discord?” I asked.

“Furious, thank you!” he groaned. I just smiled at him.

“I’m sorry, I’d believe you more if you didn’t look like you’d been run over by a car and put back together by Frankenstein.” I said, chuckling slightly.

“I used to be a goat!” he said, restraining a yell.

“Oh, shit yeah. Sorry.” I said, still chuckling. Discord bared his snaggleteeth at me and charged blindly.

“God, you were shit.” I said, knocking him back with a magic ring. I played pinball with him and more rings before slamming him into the ground.

“Fatality! Shiro wins!” I stepped around the unconscious body of Discord and made my way to the exit where Twilight stood aghast. “Toasty!” I joked. Twilight stood in front of me, blocking my path.

“I thought you wanted to start anew, to begin a new life!” she said. She looked as angry as the others did.

“I did, and I will. I just needed to get Celestia and Discord out of the way so I could pick up a little momento.” I replied, stepping forward. As expected, Twilight stepped back but stayed in my path.

“And what was that?” she demanded.

“We’ve all held onto a little something from the past. Me, I held onto the remains of a friend we lost, Shaiya.” As if summoned, the mask fragment was thrown from its place on the bench and landed perfectly on my nose. “Discord held onto his head, wonky as it is. And Celestia kept that same shade of pink in her mane, even if she has added to it, but I felt as soon as I entered the castle that she had something else that rightfully belongs to me.” I said, stepping forward again.

“And what would that be?” Twilight asked.

“That would be none of your business. I know I promised to show you what happened in the past, but to be honest, I’d rather not waste the time. Ask Celestia or Discord when they wake up. Discord will actually show you through a rip in fabric and space, it’s really quite awesome.”

“Who are the Immortals?” she asked, sounding on the verge of tears. I raised a brow at this and saw that she was in fact ready to cry. I wasn’t entirely sure why. Was it because she had been played?

“You learned the names of most of them during Celestia’s little freak-out session. You have myself, Celestia, Luna, Discord and Sombra. I imagine that because Sombra is dead, you met him. Creepy little shit. Had a crystal fetish. As soon as he found the crystal ponies… I don’t want to even think about what he’d have done. But there are two which you don’t know about. One of which is Shaiya, the other is Abbadon.” There was a chill in the air as I spoke Abbadon’s name.

“Who were they?” she asked.

“Shaiya was a black wolf from the Southern Hemishpere of the world. African if I recall. Abbadon was black Panther, quite besotted with Shaiya, but she ultimately chose me. I think Abbadon always hated me for stealing her away. But that doesn’t matter now.” I took another step and found Twilight standing her ground. I raised another brow.

“Can’t you all become friends again?” she seemed to beg me.

“Generally, starting anew means I have to sever all ties to my past. While I’ve done that, I guess if they wanted, I’d stay with them. But you’ve taken up enough of my time, Twilight. I can’t move on without what’s in that vault. So if you’ll excuse me…” I went to step around her, but she got in my way again.

“Tell me what’s in the vault.” she demanded.

“Is that an order, Princess?” I asked, showing my displeasure at her tone. She held true.

“Yes, it is.” she replied.

“Too bad I’m not one of your subjects, otherwise I’d have to answer you. Now I won’t ask you again… step aside.” The two guards standing by the door aimed their spears at me. With a tap of my paw, two rings of white magic appeared in the middle of the spears and split them in two.

“I’ll leave you with a message, Twilight. For Celestia when she wakes up.” I began, a ring of white magic appearing beside me. “I’ll return if she wants me. I’ll be there if she needs me. I will not fail her or anyone again.” With that, I was gone; forced to the side by my ring of magic at such a speed, it would have appeared to Twilight as if I’d just vanished in a blur.

I used more rings to propel me as well as steer me. Different strengths were required to control how far to the left or right I went. Corners were easy enough, but the constant pacing of the unaware guards were difficult to say the least.

I followed my senses to the vault, bypassing each and every guard that would have tried to stop me. The door was larger than I imagined. Like everything else, it was decorated in beautiful patterns with sheets of metal in place of glass. I almost felt bad about having to destroy it to get inside.

“HALT!” called a guard who just happened to be looking my way. I didn’t halt, I was already standing still. With a sigh of annoyance, I erected numerous rings around the area, creating a dome around myself and the vault door, like the Spartans of old used to do when showered with arrows.

In short, the guard was an idiot. He held his spear in his mouth and as he jabbed at the barrier, it was thrown back, the spear sliding through his teeth. The blade of the weapon sliced his cheeks as it went by. He doubled over in pain, trying to close his cheeks.

“Stay there.” I muttered over his cries.
Placing a paw on the surface, a ring grew from underneath, engulfing the whole door. I brought my paw back for a moment before throwing it forward full force. Nothing happened at first, but the ring stopped a second later and disappeared.

“Clever girl. You always were overly cautious. So my magic won’t work on this door.” I said, smiling. One of the metal sheets seemed to emanate red. It was that emanation that I figured out how it would open.

“Password protected and voice sensitive. Celestia, you’ve integrated old technology with magic. I salute you, madam!” I teased, saluting the ceiling above me. I took a deep breath and leaned down to the glowing panel. A ring of magic grew in front of my mouth, no larger than a baseball.

“This should handle the voice.” I said, the ring altering it to sound like Celestia’s. I focused on the panel and spoke.

“Open.” The panel just flashed red.

“Celestia.” Red.

“Luna.” Red

“Twilight?” Red again.

“Discord, Sombra, Abbadon!” All red. I began to grow frustrated.

“Shaiya!” Once more, red. I banged on the vault door, the sound echoing through the halls.

“What’s left?!” I demanded. There was one word I could think of, One name, but I knew she could never bring herself to use it as a password. But it was all I could think of at the time. With a defeated sigh, I brought my lips to the panel and uttered the word.

“Shiroyami.”

The panel… flashed green! The vault door groaned with annoyance at having to move its massive bulk, but it moved all the same. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of happiness as my name opened the door to the best kept secrets Celestia possessed.

“I gave Twilight the right message after all.” I said as I stepped through the entry way. The inside was larger than I thought. A thousand years of personal memories gathered in one place. One long, long, long place.

“Fuck!”