Vinyl woke up, got dressed in her coat, left the apartment building, and was at the building for the talk show faster than she even deemed possible. She knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" a slurred voice from inside said; Vinyl could not tell who it was.
"It's PON-3," she replied.
The door was opened, revealing a very drunk F3tlock.
"Uh, what happened to him?" Vinyl asked to any of the ponies in the room.
"We have beer," Twirls said. "And it turns out to be a bad idea."
"Why?"
"Today is a listener's choice day, and the topics are about the princesses. I fear somepony's gonna say something they'll regret."
Vinyl saw at least six packs of beer on the table, and saw that all of the stallions but Twirls were tipsy.
"Awesome!" she said, sitting down and grabbing a beer for herself. She chugged it and was quickly on another.
"Oh, for Luna's sake!" Twirls said. "Everypony's gonna get drunk and say something stupid and everypony listening will hear it!"
Vinyl shrugged- she could care less- and chugged her second beer.
The "ON AIR" sign came on, and Twirls sighed heavily.
"Hey, this is 'Wub Radio' here to give you insight on the minds of DJs and producers from over Equestria," he spoke into his mic.
"Love the new intro, Twirls," Vinyl said, popping a Twinkie into her mouth.
"Yeah, whate- where did you get that Twinkie?"
"I brought a few with me," the DJ replied with a smile. "They taste awesome."
Twirls groaned and smashed his head onto the table.
"Fair warning before tonight's show," he said. "Is that everypony is fucking drunk. Please excuse practically everything they say."
Something broke behind him, and he turned to see F3tlock swinging his hooves around, singing about a "lonely mare."
"Oh my Celestia," he muttered. "Alright, let's get this train wreck started. The first topic of the night is: 'Who is your favorite Princess?'"
He looked at F3tlock first.
"Well?" he asked the drunken pony.
"I think that we should all get together and dance the polka!" the DJ yelled into the air, swaying dangerously. "And then we can go to my bedroom and jump on my bed!"
Twirls kicked the table in frustration.
"Okay," he said. "Zone, who do you think is the best princess?"
'Well, I think it's Luna," she replied. "I hang out at night all the time. Besides, that's when you get to go to the clubs and all that awesome stuff."
"Finally a sane answer! Now, Techbeats, how do you feel?"
"Luna as well," he said through slightly drunken lips. "Same reasons Zone had."
"Spinning Record?"
"I like Celestia!" the producer said. "I like the warmth of the sun and I like the look of the clouds in the day."
"Draft Punk?"
"I don't care for either," the pony said, completely drunk. "In fact, I'd prefer we had a democracy. The princesses are doing a bad job keeping this country safe! I mean, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Changelings! Why can't they do anything about that?!"
Twirls shushed him and held his face in his hooves.
"Why did there have to be beer?" he asked himself. "Your turn, Vinyl."
"I like both equally," she said, already feeling her mind become numb from the alcohol. "I'm fine with the day and the night. Though I think I'm leaning to Celestia, because she pulls pranks and shit. Funny stuff."
Twirls sighed, as the conversation was now over.
"Next topic," he began. "Is: 'What do you think of the princesses?'"
He turned to Vinyl who, in the time he had not been looking, had drunk two more beers.
"I think that Luna needs to get some friends!" she spouted. "I think Celestia needs to stop pulling pranks on ponies! She's a princess, and she should act like it! I mean, why does-"
"That's enough!" Twirls said, raising a hoof. "F3tlock?"
There was no response. Twirls turned and saw F3tlock had passed out at some point during the previous question, and he was lying on his back, legs spread.
"Oh, shit!" he yelled, turning away from the sight. "Why did I allow beer?! Zone?"
"I think they're both excellent!" the mare said. "They do their jobs well and everything goes fine! However, Luna isn't social enough and Celestia is too social."
"Much better!" Twirls said. "Techbeats?"
"I don't really care," he said, now looking fairly drunk. "Not really my problem!"
Twirls looked confused, but he just sighed and moved on.
"Draft Punk?"
"Same things I said before!" he yelled. "Why aren't they protecting our kingdom from attacks and-"
"Shut up!" Twirls screamed. "For Luna's sake, why do you all have some kind of drinking issue?! Spinning Records?!"
"I'm fine with the princesses," the producer said fearfully, scooting back in her chair.
"Okay! That's the end of this night's episode of 'Wub Radio!' I am NEVER letting alcohol in here again!"
Zone and Spinning Record left, not wanting to stay in the same room as the drunken DJs.
"I'm going to just let them sleep here," Twirls said, opening the door. "Let 'em know not to do that again."
~
Vinyl woke up with a splitting headache. Around her, the other DJs were doing the same, cringing as they got up.
"Last night was one hell of a time," Techbeats said.
"Fuck, yeah!" Vinyl yelled.
They all went home after that, wanting nothing but the soft embrace of their beds.