A Fetch Quest for My Drink
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-> 1 Berry Punch LV1
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The party of inexperienced adventurers stood before the gateway of their new campaign, the road out of Ponyville. Ahead of them was an endless world covered in rolling plains, beautiful forests, and so much more. There were new towns to see, wilderness to explore, and some big opportunities to die if you’re unprepared. Only then did Braeburn realize, “...We don’t have a single clue where we’re goin’, do we?”
“Well, this whole thing was my sister's idea,” Cheerilee turned to her sister. “Berry, where are we going?”
“Pfft, shit I dunno. My first instinct after I remembered the recipe was to go on an adventure to get the junk I need to make it. I never got any clue on where to look. I figure we’ll just have to wander and hit some kind of hint eventually. This stuff can’t be too hard to find.” Berry said before trotting ahead of the rest.
Ruby tugged her mother back by the tail. “That’s just going to get us all killed! We should go back to Twilight’s and get a map. Maybe we could get some research done on the ingredients too. I don’t even know what half the stuff on the list actually is or how we’d ever even find it.”
Berry stomped a frustrated hoof into the dirt. “Hell no! Spending too much time in this place is why I have to share with ... “ Berry looked at the others she was traveling with,“... two ponies I hardly even know and Cheerilee. We’re winging it! Blondy, go up there and find us someplace to go.”
With a salute, the bubbly pegasus ascended into the skies. Her eyes darted in every direction. “Searching, locating, targeting, zoom and enhance!” Her eyes locked in place, targeting the perfect place to start. “Destination locked! There, Manehattan over yonder hill! They have muffins.”
The grounded ponies turned their heads to the city; the large industrialist metropolis peaked from beyond the northern horizon. “Huh, can’t believe we didn’t notice that,” Cheerilee chuckled,“Well you heard Derpy. Let’s go!” With a bounce in their step, the party started its march to the wealthy city. One step, two steps, three steps, Random encounter! The world twisted and contorted and then it was just a blur. Suddenly the world came back into focus, and Berry found herself in the middle of the grassy plains with her weapon drawn. Three oozing, smiling, blue slime balls bounced in front of her. Somehow they looked violent.
“The hell was that? Is everyone okay?” Berry shouted as she realized she was already circling the Gourd above her head. “And when did I learn this fighting style?” she mumbled.
“We’re fine, just caught in the reason ponies don’t travel much.” Braeburn stood on his hind legs with his shotgun ready. “I’m not sure if ya ever left Ponyville before, but the thing is, the outside is a dangerous place. You take a few steps and bam! Monsters all over. T’aint fair, ya can’t even see the things until they attack ya.” Braeburn took aim and fired at the center slime. Thirteen damage flashed in white text above its head. “Darn slimy, bullet-absorbin’ varmints.”
“Get ready mom. it’s your turn!” Ruby was ready on Berry’s right, bouncing one of her spiked balls on a racket.
“What?! Does everypony know how this works except me?” Without any other options, Berry aimlessly swung the gourd at the slimes. Miss. “Oh what the hell!”
As if from nowhere, Fluttershy descended onto the center of the battlefield with her own heavenly spotlight. “I’d like to explain what’s happening … if you don’t mind. Umm, you see . . . Equestria is a very strange land. The untamed wilds are - terrorized - by - monsters! It's really frustrating and scary because you can't see them, and, umm, whenever you're walking around you could be ,eep, thrown into a random encounter at any moment!”
“I figured out that part already. Explain the shit that’s going on now!" Berry shouted.
Fluttershy recoiled. “S-sorry, of course. Well, umm, once you're in a," she gulped, "r-random encounter you fight by taking turns. The turn order is determined pretty randomly - most of the time that is, I think. The worst part is if you're traveling in a party of well more than three . . . your partners won't be able to help you unless you switch out! Braeburn, could you please be a nice pony and give an example?”
“Sure as sunshine Fluttershy.” Braeburn ran into the horizon until he faded away. Cheerilee rushed onto the battlefield from the same endless expanse.
“Roger!” Cheerilee said as she assumed battle position, “Ready for anything!”
“The other thing is if all three active members happen to …. um die, then it’s game over for everyone. So remember to heal please. It would be terrible for you to have to hurt time. And before I go, sometimes the way encounters work changes. I’ll come back if that ever happens. Good luck.” Fluttershy ascended back into the sky, like an angel disappearing in the Sun’s holy light.
“Well none of that made any sense. Why do we have turns? Why don’t we just fig-" One of the enemy slime launched itself at Berry's face. The gelatinous body wrapped around her head. "The slimy shit is on me! Get it off!” Berry wrestled the disgusting blob of off her face and tossed it back to the other side of the field. Ruby and Cheerille snickered. “You two suck.”
Ruby tossed a ball from her sack and slapped it directly into the center slime. Eight damage and the slime dissolved into a small puddle of sad, blue ooze. “It’s easy. Just hit them when it’s your turn.” The two living slimes lunged themselves at Cheerilee. With a graceful twirl, the thief-class pony dodged both attacks. She returned fire with critically-hitting cut, killing the left slime.
“And why is she so lucky! That’s not fair at all,” Berry whined.
“Because I have a good luck stat,” Cheerilee boasted with a flip and a catch of her knife. “Stop whining and take your turn
Berry growled beneath her breath as she took all her frustration and turned it into a hammering swing. The gourd crashed down on the slime with all the force of a level one warrior, ending its sad, pathetic life. “Let’s try not to do this crap again.”
Berry Leveled up “Great, that just means I’ll have to fight more doesn’t it.”
Ruby Leveled up “Yes, just a bit more and I can beat up the bullies.”
Cheerilee Leveled up “Another lesson taught”
Braeburn Leveled up “Aaaaaaaaapppllleeelllooooooosssa”
The world spun back to to normal and the party was back on road like before. If three steps meant one battle and they had to go all the way to Manehattan and further “...This going to be a bitch,” Berry grumbled as they took long cautious steps.
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Coltstantinople, one of Equestria’s four noble cities. Windsor castle was home to Dionysus, the city's duke.Prince Blueblood walked through the decorated halls with a scroll describing tax issues he wished to discuss. As he split open the doors to the duke’s throne room, his jaw dropped. The white-marbled room was covered in fallen nobles, most of weary or surprised expression, all with a spilled goblet of red wine laying next to them. The duke laid sideways on his throne. Like most of the royal family, he was a unicorn with a purely white coat. His glistening, grape-red mane matching his eyes. With his magic, he swiveled his own wine glass above his belly. Blueblood took terrified steps through the room of corpses, stopping a few feet away from his cousin’s throne. “Dionysus, wha-what the hell is this?”
“Nothing, we just had a party.” Dionysus poured viscous fluid over himself, staining his coat with red. “You missed the punch.”
Blueblood took a step back. “Do you mean to tell me you poisoned all of them?”
“Perhaps I did, or maybe one of my waiters is a traitor to the nation and that’s why I killed him. Yes, that sounds like an excellent lie to me,” Dionysus said before licking the tainted wine off of his own fur. “Oh how fun it is to be immune to poison. Thank our alicorn blood.”
“This-this is horrible. It’s deceit and betrayal to the country! I demand to know why you would go against your homeland!” Blueblood’s horn glowed as he grasped sword hung from the wall with his magic.
“Oh you’re threatening me with a decoration. You’re always such a laugh.” Dionysus chuckled. He floated the empty wine glass above him as he hummed a little tune.
The Prince growled, “Answer the damned question! I swear I won’t hesitate to cut you through.” His legs buckled. He struggled to even stand straight. His eyes kept darting back towards the door. He could run at anytime, and everything in his body told him the best time was now.
“Well if you really want to know why I killed them …,” the duke turned to his cousin. His crimson eyes were larger than a pony’s irises should ever be, “it’s because none of it means anything anymore,” he shouted. “I’ll let you know something. Alcohol holds tremendous power over ponies. It elicits all sorts of emotions. It pulls others to success, it crushes lives, it brings ponies together, but it can also call forth our true blood.”
Blueblood lowered his sword. “What about our blood?”
“Remember, we’re descendants of Celestia! We have her blood flowing through us! Despite a thousand years of non-alicorn parents Celestia's blood still gives us strength. That’s why we don’t get sick: that’s why we are immune to poisons. For years I’ve researched of a wine so powerful in its magical properties that it can make any member of the royal family an alicorn five times more powerful than the princesses. The best part is, I finally found a pony whose drive for booze is powerful enough to make it for me, Berry Punch.” Dionysus used his magic to make a window in the floor. On the other side was Berry and her companions battling monsters in an open field. “Isn’t she wonderful? Foulmouthed, sexy, and a desire for alcohol that overpowers fate itself. She will bring me the intoxicating nectar that will make me the most powerful being on this planet!””
The prince’s eyes fixated on the mare. “A simple mare is the key of your scheme? You’ve no backup plan at all?”
Dionysus dismissed the magic window “I don’t need one. She’ll accomplish everything. Even if I did have one I wouldn't tell someone too stupid to understand it.”
Blueblood turned his back. “I’m making my leave. You know I can’t let you get away with this. I’ll tell Celestia and Luna. If they don’t stop you, then I’ll stop you myself.”
“Oh you will? Even if it means killing the mare and her little girl?” the duke taunted.
“Yes. Even if it means killing civilians. Good day cousin.”
“Great. You’ll be a wonderful source of … experience for them,” The wine duke chuckled as he magically summoned another glass full of red wine. “I wish you the best of game overs.”
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Manehattan, a bustling city of business and wealth with a bit of muffins on the side. The roads were made of expertly placed cobblestone. The brick buildings stood several floors tall, much larger than any wooden creation in Ponyville. Berry pulled herself over the ground. She crawled into the city, beaten, battered, and bruised. Her hooves finally touched the glorious cobblestone. "Yes! No more damn encounters,” she let her muscles give out and simply lay sprawled in the street.
The others walked in just behind her. Ruby's horn sprinkled a healing light over her mother. “Mom please. We only fought level two monsters the whole way here.”
Berry grumbled and rolled over onto her side. The dark bruises on her side faded away was they were exposed to the pink light of Ruby's spell.
Derpy hovered above the other ponies. Her wings flapped like a hummingbird. “We can’t stop here. We still need to head to where the muffins are,” Derpy whined, “Come on let’s go!”
Cheerilee and Braeburn heaved Berry onto her hooves.“Derpy dear, my sister’s tired.” Cheerilee said with the motherly tone she usually saves for children. “As much as I’d love to leave her behind we have to wait just a bit. She’s sort of the lead. The muffins will still be there.”
Derpy flitted back and forth. Her hooves wrestled through her mane.“Noooo ,we have to go now. They’ll be all gone soon. I can tell!” The flustered pegasus turned coat and dashed into the alleyways on her own.
Derpy has left the party
Berry smacked hoof against her forehead. “Gah, stupid addicted pegasus. I don’t even know why we let her come with us. I say we can leave her wherever she ends up. Blondy will be fine”
Braeburn pat Berry on the head. “Now that ain’t no way to talk about anypony. Y’all just handle yourselves. I’ll go after Derpy. You should try to find my Aunt and Uncle Orange. Tell ‘em you’re with me and they’ll give ya as many oranges as ya need.” Braeburn tossed the girls his bit pouch before giving chase the cross-eyed pegasus.
“I’ll hold on to the money.” Ruby said as she tucked the bits into her bag. “Its probably best with me. So where should we start looking for the Oranges?”
“Pfft, I don’t know. Let’s ask that guy.” Berry pulled up to a grey, well-clothed unicorn. “Hey you, have any idea where we can find the Orange family? We need some stuff from them.”
“The Oranges? Why they live in the east side, up in the deluxe apartments on the highest floor. Here, I’ll give you a very special map." The unicorn passed Berry the tan leather scroll from underneath his top hat. "It was made by some serious explorers. It charts all of the planet and even locks on to whatever city or building you’re in. I've been told it will also point out areas of interest. It’s amazing, but I’ve no need for it. Good luck.” The gentlecolt trotted away into one of the many back alleys.
“Well that was lucky,” Cheerilee said with an almost worried inflection to her voice. “So we just follow this map anywhere and we’ll know where to go next?”
“Seems like it." Ruby tapped her horn on the map. "See, the apartments over here have a little white glove pointing to them.”
Cheerilee chuckled.“Magic enchantments will never cease to amaze me. Are we heading there first? I’d like to get some water to be honest.”
“Screw water!” Berry snorted. “I need a shot or two; let’s go to this bar," she jabbed her hoof against the parchment, "I like its name, The Knockout Shot. That promises some strong liquor.”
“Mom, no. Auntie, later. We should just get the oranges out of way while we can get them for free.” Ruby took the map from her mom with her telekinesis. Another key item Berry couldn't be trusted with. The two mares groaned as a child led them through the city. The apartment that the map led them to was much more like a hotel in appearance, both inside and out. It had swanky seats, a shiny mahogany desk, and a desk-colt. The sisters sat on the couch and glared at each other while Ruby handled the business. “Excuse me, sir. We’re looking for the Orange family. They live here, don’t they?”
“Yeah, and I'm glad they're gone,” The blue desk worker replied.
“Excuse me?” Ruby said.
The colt pounded on the desk.“Those two would constantly order meals that I’d have to carry up to the top floor! I have to carry all their food. Do you know how much I get tipped?” The filly shook her head in response. “None! Freaking zero bits from those cheap orange peels. Everypony else here gives a pretty nice tip, but not those two. I’d take their food up fifty times a day and for nothing! If the- Aughghugh!” his rant was cut short by a flower pot to the face, followed with pain, and succeeded by bleeding, lots of bleeding.
Berry leapt over over the desk and pressed her hooves into the poor colt’s chest.“I don’t give a flying shit about how much you lift! Are the Oranges here or not? Because if they aren't I have a bar to be going too!”
Negative Karma Increased
“And I still want some water, please.” Cheerilee added.
“I’m sorry,” the pony coughed as blood from his face ran into his mouth. “The Oranges left for the Coltstantinople a week ago. Just get off me, please!”
“Fine, let’s go ladies.” Berry removed her hooves from the colt, leaving with her family. He lied on the ground, his face in excruciating pain.
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“Nice work mom. You got kicked out of The Knockout Shot for knocking a pony out in one shot. I’m a bit proud to be honest. You usually take two swings to knock out somepony,” Ruby said as she lifted her mother up from the street.
“Whatever. their drinks weren’t that strong anyway,” said the ever staggering Berry Punch, “and those two bimbos were asking for it!”
“The first girl was a lamp. That’s why you were able to snap her in half without her screaming,” Ruby said with a small chuckle.
Cheerilee walked out of the bar with a purposeful wiggle in her rear. “Bye bye ladies. Hope to see you all again sometime. I’d love to stay, but I’ve got a sister to take care of, “ she turned to her sister with a smug grin. "Nice to see you’re living up to the family name, sis.” Cheerilee said with a half drunken snicker. Crackle! Boom! The girls’ attention was stolen by the night sky. Fireworks decorated Luna’s night with bright colourful sparks and flowers of fire.
Ruby’s eyes were fixated on the display. “Wow, what’s all this is for? The last time we saw fireworks like this Trixie was in town.” Distracted, Ruby found herself on the ground from her mom’s weight.
The blond mailmare touched down in front of her. "See, I told you we’d find them getting kicked out of a bar! My eyes know everything. Oh, and sorry for knocking Berry on you, oopsie.”
Braeburn trotted onto the scene with a plate of muffins on his back. “Okay you were right for the third time today, but I still ain’t bakin’ you any cupcakes to go with these." The cowpony switched his attention over to Cheerilee. "So did y'all find my aunt and uncle?”
“No luck. They’re in Coltstantinople. We’re going to have to get oranges somewhere else,” Cheerilee said before breaking back into snickering.
Ruby shoved Berry off her back. “Hey Derpy. Can you find where the fireworks are coming from?”
“Sure.” Derpy hovered above the ground. She started spinning, going faster and faster till she was a rotating blur. “Scanning, scanning, scanning, scanning, fireworks source located!”
“Yes!” The excited filly clopped her hooves together. “Mom, can we go please? I really want to see the fireworks show!”
“Sure, why the hell not. They’ll probably have better booze anyway,” Berry said from the ground. With the help of her questionably loyal companions, Berry was lifted all the way to the three story high, blue tent the light show was coming from. A sign as large as an grown dragon boasted ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie, most powerful unicorn mage of all time!’
“Oooh it is Trixie? She still performs?” Cheerilee said as the ursa major incident flashed through her mind like a nightmare. “Well, nothing like that should happen again. Whats the harm in watchign? Let’s get seats … in the back” Berry and Ruby sat a row ahead of the rest while Braeburn sat between Derpy and Cheerilee. The Great and Powerful Trixie was just finishing a trick where she fused two stallions together. The weird set of four legs and no heads wrestled with each other to get off stage. Falling to the ground with a crash.
“Thank you, thank you! Trixie has two more tricks left tonight. The first will be great and the second will be as powerful as you could ever imagine. Who among you are ready to experience such incredible magiks first hand? You over there in the corner! Come over and be the mighty assistant of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Each time her name was uttered, a burst of flares erupted from the stage floor. Her mighty assistant was a bouncy, pink earth pony.
Trixie draped the mare with a golden scarf as she summoned her to the stage. “Now dear, all you need to do is open your mouth nice and wide for the Great and Powerful Trixie to work her magiks.” Obediently, the mighty, pink assistant opened her mouth as wide as possible with an audible ‘ahhhhh’. Without hesitation, Trixie forced the her into a great and powerful lip lock!
The crowd, reeled in surprise. “This show is hotter than I thought it would be. We should get backstage tickets next time.” Berry chuckled.
“Her last show definitely wasn’t this romantic,” Cheerilee said, her cheeks blaring with red.
Something started to change in the assistant. The pink pony swelled like a balloon. She grew larger and larger as the kiss went on. Once she was about the size of a caravan, Trixie's lips broke away from the romantic spell. “Behold the helium kiss!” The cloud roared with applause and whistles. Roses and violets were thrown to the stage along plenty of papers with addresses and numbers. “Oh don’t give the great Trixie everything yet. You haven’t seen the powerful part!” As a punctuation to her boast, the Mighty assistant exploded. Gasps filled the tent. “Yes my audience, she is dead, but like a phoenix she will arise back to our mortal realm!” Trixie tossed her hat. Her horn was burning with light like a wild fire.The scarf the used-to-be-mighty assistant wore floated in the air. It spiraled as Trixie manipulated it with her magicks. The scarf stretched and contorted far beyond its limits. Then the scarf gave in to her will and combusted into burst of golden fire. The ashes fell to the stage, where they collected together into a bright sphere that shattered into a reborn pony!
“Twilight is going to love the story about what it was like in Asgard!” The Pink assistant shouted.
“Holy muffin apocalypse,” Derpy said nearly entranced. “It doesn’t matter if my eyes ever work normally. I just saw best show ever! …. and Dinky wasn’t here for it.” Derpy’s eyes sprinkled crooked tears as she rested her head on Braeburn’s shoulder.
“Hey sist, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Cheerilee asked.
“We should find Trixie backstage, knock her out with chloroform, and kidnap her?” Berry replied flatly.
Her sister groaned. “No. I think we should try to convince her to join us. Magic like that would turn the giraffes outside into dust.”
“We should probably save in case the recruitment plan doesn’t work,” Ruby suggested as she started writing down a diagrams of a kidnapping plan in crayons. “Mom there’s a save crystal back outside.”
Would you like to save your life?
->Yes No
Which file would you like to save in?
->1- Berry Punch LV1
Are you sure you want to overwrite that file?
->Yes No
Saving your life. Please don’t blink during this process.
…. …. … …. ….
Save Successful!