Twilight was at least kind enough to point out the bathroom that was attached to the room I was staying in. I also had to have a somewhat lengthy conversation as to the whole taboo behind being seeing others naked in order to get her to at least turn away while I made a mad dash for the bathroom.
Now that I was safely in the bathroom, I tossed the handful of clothes onto the counter, taking note at how high class the interior of this room was as well. It had a shower that looked more like a jacuzzi, and along all the walls were full length mirrors. Oh yeah, I'm naked right now. I beat down the thoughts of wanting to explore my new body and took a good look at myself.
At first, I really didn't immediately recognize myself. Not having much to compare my current height to, I think I shrunk a few inches. My eyes were the first thing I noticed, as they were really the only thing that seemed to have carried over through the magic. Blue eyes still greeted me in the mirror, an odd look in them as I began examining myself. My hair, which used to be rather coarse and kept short, cascaded down my back. Running a hand through it, I noticed just how smooth it felt too, reminding me of very fine fabric. My overall figure was well proportioned and lithe with muscles accentuating the more prominent areas of my body.
To sum it up, I would totally fuck myself, if I still had Mr. Thompson and were presented with the opportunity. There was not a single unappealing facet of my body, not even the scars I had before seemed to have carried over. I brought a hand over to one of my boobs, poking it as if to confirm its existence. The flesh was yielding and firm at the same time, the perfect combination in my mind. I absently began to rub it with a palm while I looked at the neatly trimmed mound that now stood in for Mr. Thompson.
"Elam, are you almost ready? We don't have much time left in the day, and I'd like to at least show you some of the castle tonight!" Twilight's muffled voice came through the door, making me jump just a little bit.
"Err, just another minute or two!" I forced my attention back to the clothes, forcing the thoughts of what I would normally do to such a body I now had back to the æther of my mind. Later, perhaps. For the sake of science!
I put the dark blue skirt to the side and pulled out the top. It was thankfully a somewhat standard tee shirt, however there was one major issue. It was PINK, which just so happens to be my least favorite color. I set it aside for the undergarments that had been crafted for me, which were both thankfully a very neutral white color. I attempted to quickly slip them on, succeeding in getting the panties on but not the bra. Oh bra clasp, we meet again! How I conquered thee many times during my high school and college crusades, but now that I must do rather than undo... I hath been defeated!
Some fumbling later and I finally got the damn thing clasped. I fought with my hair while trying to put on the tee shirt, and in a few short minutes I found myself fully clothed. Whoever this Rarity person was, she sure knew her shit. Everything fit rather comfortably, although on second thought it was somewhat disturbing that even the bra was a perfect fit. Okay, time to move on from that train of thought.
"Okay, comin' out now!" I hollered, wincing at my silky smooth voice. Opening the door, I tripped over Twilight with my first step. She had apparently decided waiting for me right in front of the door was a good idea, and my bare foot had hooked on her before I was even fully out of the bathroom.
A short tumble later, I found myself coming back to my senses as I felt something wet against my inner thigh. "The hell!" Quickly standing up, Twilight's tongue went back into her mouth and off of me, thankfully. "Yeah, you might not wanna stand right in front of a door, especially when you know I'm gonna be opening it. Not that smart."
She stood up and quickly spread her wings while shaking her head. "Sorry, sorry. We only have a little bit of time left before it gets too late to really do anything. Plus, I thought you might like to get something to eat, I know lunch was a long time ago for me and you've been unconscious for close to a whole day now."
I sidestepped around her and threw myself back onto the bed, enjoying the soft mattress. "Food sounds great. Going out, not so much. You said there's only a few more hours tops before it's really late, right? Can't we just talk for awhile? As much as I wish this was just a bad dream after eating shrooms and dropping acid, I probably need to know more about what's coming." Shrooms, hmm. Haven't had em in years, but I wonder what would happen if I ate some here? I mean, everything is already pretty bright and the ponies are rather varied on the color, even if I only had two to go off of so far. I mean, a four colored floating mane? Note to self, try to find some equivalent of shrooms or make some acid in the immediate future, as this is worth further research.
"I suppose we can do that. Celestia did give me some details about what to expect, although she did mention that a lot of it wasn't really predictable, so we're going to have to wing it a bit." She fluffed her wings a bit at the end of her sentence, causing me to snort. I mean, she's moving her wings around when she says wing it. Bad puns really have a whole new level on a different planet.
"Somehow, I think she purposefully didn't tell you everything. I was getting a heavy troll vibe from her. Shame I couldn't punch her..." Wistfully speaking at the end, I imagined the glorious action of watching her mouth fly from my fist in slow motion, much like the cliched fist to face shots some of those terrible boxing movies did. I'm looking at you, Rocky. "I'd really like to know how this whole 'oh, you're going to be a pony' thing is going to work out, to start with."
Twilight looked at me as my stomach rumbled. "We could always start with dinner first. Anything in particular you'd like?" Oh yeah, that's right. I was unconscious for almost a whole day without eating, thanks for remind me stomach.
"Think I could get a nice cut of steak cooked medium rare with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli?" Might as well go all out if she's asking. I mean, it is a castle, so one would think they have a chef who can cook to order.
Twilight looked at me with a small amount of shock, and I replied with an arched brow and a shrug of my shoulders. "You willingly eat meat? Celestia didn't mention anything about that..." She shuddered a little, as if the notion of meat itself disgusted her. "I suppose I can ask the guards to see if the chef has anything that'll do in that regard, there might be something left over from the last visit from the gryphon diplomats..."
"Why are you shuddering at the thought of meat? Especially steak! It's delicious, can be served with a ton of different foods, and the flavor... Nothing beats a slab of cow seared on the grill!" I closed my eyes and drooled a little at the thought of such perfectly cooked meat. A love for steak ran in the family. During family gatherings, it was always a contest to see who could eat more steak than our grandmother. Somehow, she kept on winning.
"You eat cows? Barbaric!" She screeched, causing me to cover my ears briefly as she backed away from me.
"Well, yeah. We raise them just for that purpose. Lots of folk make a living off of it in some places." I opened my eyes and looked at her, rather puzzled. It's just meat afterall, not like ponies couldn't eat it or anything themselves. "What? You seem like I just told you that I'd murdered your friend and had been wearing their skin or something. It's just meat."
"Just meat? We don't eat other sentient creatures here, that's just wrong!" She exclaimed, still on edge. I noticed the door open up and another pony stick their head in. Couldn't really see anything beyond the glint of light off his golden helmet, but I smiled goofily and waved at him.
"Cows don't fucking talk. At least, not on Earth. Nothing talks except us humans, and the occasional annoying as hell bird." I stuck my tongue out at the guard, the poor thing looked confused as fuck. It seems Twilight still hadn't noticed the observer, she really lost it when she lost it. "You always go this far overboard? That's fucking ridiculous."
Her mane did the funniest thing I've ever seen. Ever so slowly, it began to curl and stick out in every direction. Best thing I could relate it to was when I gave my six year old cousin glue, and he immediately began to lather my uncle's hair. Even with his short hair, it was everywhere. Very much the same thing here. "Yo, Twilight. I'm hungry."
She still continued on and on, although now she was rambling something about a Magical Kindergarten and failing the princess. Her mane was absolutely ridiculous, and not a single word I spoke was getting through to her. I noticed the guard's eyes go wide as he made a very hasty retreat from the room and closed the door. Ah, what the hell, time to play punch-a-pony!
Slap! Well, a slap should suffice. I'd rather not add to her bruise, probably best to not have Celestia think I was beating up her student after all. The effect was rather obvious, as Twilight's annoying rambling instantly dropped dead upon contact, and her mane settled down a little. I snapped my fingers in front of her face a few times, noticing as her eyes focused once more.
"Welcome back, Twilight. Now, done with your little freak-out? Got it that we don't eat sentient creatures, no matter how tempting it is?" I kept my face right in front of hers as I peppered her with verbal jabs. I noticed the door creak open just a smidge and a pair of eyes looked at me, relief evident in their eyes as if I'd just averted a disaster.
"Sorry about that, I have a tendency to, err... overreact at times and it sort of spirals out of control." A quick flash of her fancy magic, and everything about her looked normal again, at least as normal for a winged horned pony creature as I could tell. "So, uh, food. Right?" I just shook my head as my stomach rumbled loudly again. "There should be some meat left over for the chef to prepare I suppose."
I watched Twilight make her way over to the door, which was mysteriously closed once more. She stepped out for a moment to converse with one of the guards, before walking right back in. "They'll have food brought within the next thirty minutes or so. Now, the pony issue..."
She jumped up onto the bed and sat down next to me, looking me in the eyes. Hhhng, those damned eyes are lethal weapons, I swear! "From what Celestia explained to me, your change into a pony isn't something that will be easily predictable because of the large amount of magic you absorbed from me. In normal instances, in which the magic applied is carefully monitored, the human in question rapidly changes, becoming a full pony within minutes."
"And I've been here for nearly a whole day, with the only change being my gender, right? I mean, my hair has grown out and I think I lost a few inches of height, but that's all." I stuck a hand in my hair, still amazed at how damn silky smooth it was. As I idly played with it, Twilight continued to speak.
"Indeed. Considering that fact, it's possible that it could take anywhere from days to years for you to change. We really cannot make a guess until some part of you goes pony, to put it bluntly. In the meantime, Luna and myself will be working to bring you up to date on Equestrian history, how our society works, and once we know what type of pony you'll be, how to live as one." She was fluttering her wings as she sat there reciting her information, making me wonder what kind of body language they had.
"That teaching include body language? You keep moving your wings, and I have absolutely no idea what that means. Plus, any idea how to figure out what type of pony I'll end up, and can you explain them? If I can't do something cool, I'm coming after you, fair warning." I crossed my arms and gave her the stink eye, which only sent her wings to fidgeting more.
"Well, when a pegasus or alicorn's wings are moving like this, it means either nervousness or anxiousness..." More fluttering. "As for the ponies, there are three prevalent 'tribes' of ponies in Equestria. You have the Earth tribe, which exemplify strength and a deep connection with the planet. Although they cannot fly or channel magic through a focus, they are the largest, and sturdiest of ponies. They can cultivate plants, crops, and trees in nearly any environment, and provide the majority of food to the country.
"The Pegasus tribe is exemplified by their ability of flight and weather manipulation. They are typically the smallest of ponies, and extremely durable, due to their tendency to crash while flying. Falls that would normally land a pony in a hospital for weeks typically only requires days of rest instead. They also can stand on clouds, manipulate them to provide and regulate rainfall.
"The Unicorn Tribe are the last major grouping. They have the ability to channel magic outside of their body through the use of their horn as a focus. I was actually born one myself. They are the scholars and innovators of the country. Together, all three tribes work in unison to bring prosperity to Equestria."
Wow. Mini history lesson, check! Twilight really likes to hit on details, that's one thing about her that stands out. "So, any chance I'll be able to, say, fly and use magic? That'd be pretty awesome and might be worth losing Mr. Thompson." Oh shit. I just called my dick by its nickname out loud in front of Twilight. Not kosher!
Twilight snickered as she connected the dots in her head. "You referred to your male genitalia as 'Mr.. Thompson?' Oh man, I thought only my brother was silly enough to do something so... stallion-y!" I simultaneously groaned and facepalmed, only having myself to blame for this incident. After waiting twenty seconds or so, I got tired of the continued snickering and pushed her towards the edge of the bed.
Twilight immediately stopped and locked her gaze on me as I pulled my hands back. "Thank you. I'd rather not be sent rolling off the bed. There are alicorns, which are basically a harmonic mix of all three tribes brought together into one pony, and hybrids of two ponies can and do exist, but the chances you'll end up either are rather small."
"Any smaller of a chance than being pulled through a dimensional rift while masturbating and ending up with one's gender changed and being told you're going to end up a pony?" Yeah, let's see you refute that logic, Twilight!
"I... I have no clue how to respond to that, as I cannot accurately calculate the probability of those two events without an extensive data set, so... I suppose it's possible? However, all five alicorns currently known all accomplished rather large events in their lives to transcend to a perfect harmony of all three tribes, so the chance of you simple becoming one is astronomically low."
Voices at the door interrupted us, as what sounded like a heated discussion took place. We both turned towards the entrance to the room just as it opened, revealing a unicorn with a white coat and blue mane. He, I guessed, was dressed in the equivalent of a suit for a pony, which caused me to snicker at the sheer absurdity of how it looked.
"Well, look here, nice to meet you fellow human!" The unicorn exclaimed, his voice somewhat posh and annoying. "Been quite some time since I came through, was curious if I'd live to see another pop out."
"Uh. Who the hell are you?" I looked at him warily, immediately on edge.
"Duke Blueblood, you were a human? Why didn't Celestia say something about that?" Twilight stressed, her voice agitated. I didn't even have to do anything this time, I'd call that one a win. At least if this guy isn't a total creep.
"Well, as Princess Twilight here just stated, my Equestrian name is Duke Blueblood. I've been a resident of this fair land for, oh, thirty seven years now and some change I believe. As for who I was," his voice shifted, picking up an alarmingly familiar mid-east accent. "Name's Jimmy Hoffa. Gotta say, fallin' into this fair land was the best thing that ever happened to me in life."
Jimmy mother fucking Hoffa, in the flesh before my very own eyes? Eat that shit, conspiracy theorists! "You know, not a week before I found myself here, they were digging up some countryside looking for your body."
Jimmy just laughed at that, somehow managing to slap his knee with a hoof. It honestly looked to be quite impossible, but he pulled it off. "Oh man, still? I left a long time ago, I suppose that just goes to show that they're still persistent bastards. Gotta say though, put you in a cocktail dress, and wow. You'd be one smokin' hot babe."
"Don't even think about it. Lecher." I tried to glare a hole through him. If he didn't take the hint, I'd gladly smack him around a little bit, teach him some respect.
He just laughed in response. "Oh, yeah. You're gonna do just fine here I think. Somethin' tells me you're going to be one gorgeous mare, so word to the wise. My son, 'Prince' Blueblood, can be a royal pain in the ass. Have a sister who ends up royalty, and it goes right to your head, I swear..." He directed his attention to Twilight. "Princess, I'd suggest you ensure my son doesn't get a chance to hit on our new friend. I'd like to have grandfoals from the little shit, one day anyways."
Another knock at the door, this time it was a castle worker with a trolley of food. "And that's my queue to leave. I bid you both adieu, and I have a feeling we'll meet again. Would love to hear some of what's happened since I last left, if only for the humor." With that, he bowed and walked out the door.
"Wow. That was weird. Random, too." I looked at the worker, who left the trolley next to a table and briefly spoke to Twilight before departing the room.
The various plates made their way to the table surface, dancing through the air with what I assumed to be more magic. However, frankly I didn't give a fuck, as my stomach agreed with my mind. Food first, the many issues later.
Twilight grabbed her salad dish and some fruit within her magic as I just begin to dig into my food, starting with the broccoli. "So, Elam, what do–"
"Food. No time for talk, hungry." I abruptly cut her off as I continued to chew my current mouthful of greens. Luckily, they had the foresight to provide me with silverware, so I tore into the food like a savage. I'd always eaten fast; fast and furious was the way I liked it.
I think after the first five seconds or so, Twilight was just staring at me, her jaw must've hit the table, as I thought I heard a thud from the impact. I savored the delight of the best damn vegetables I'd ever tasted, and the seasoning they used... If I had a single poetic bone in my body, I'd compose a damn epic for how good the food was.
Some minutes later, I let out a loud belch, chugging down another glass of milk as I laid back in my chair, thoroughly full and feeling slightly lethargic. "Damn, now that's some good grub. Whoever does the cooking... wow. I think that's all I can really say on the subject."
Twilight, who was still working on her salad, simply glared murder at me. Apparently, she took umbrage at my method of eating. Hey, I ain't gonna change my ways simply cause she fucked me over, ya know?
"What, Twilight? Thinking if you stare long enough, something might change?" I stuck my tongue out at her, then somewhat regretted it as my stomach let its protest be known. "Oooph. I think I'm just gonna chill here for a few. Seriously though, that was some damn fine food."
“And here I thought I’d never see someone with as poor table manners as my friend Rainbow Dash...” Twilight muttered, simply returning her attention back to the remaining pieces of fruit adorning her plate.
Rainbow Dash? That sounds rather... colorful. I couldn’t help but snicker, drawing yet more ire from Twilight. “You have a friend named Rainbow Dash? Is she a rainbow colored carpet muncher?”
Twilight did a spit-take, and a most excellent one at that. I watched the juice she’d been drinking sail clear across the room into the wall, leaving a lovely yellow splatter against it. Hmm, orange juice. “How could you say something so, so, so... crude? I’ll have you know she’s married to a nice stallion!” Her face flushed crimson in anger, and maybe, just maybe... I’d taken it a step too far. Oh well, no taking back what’s done.
“Woah, woah, hold on a sec. I just couldn’t help it, on Earth, the rainbow has become synonymous with gay pride is all. It just seemed like the perfect conclusion to come to. I mean, your name, Twilight Sparkle...” I trailed off, thinking about a particularly vile book series.
She groaned, using her magic to clean up the splattered juice. “Trust me, I hate that author for making vampires sparkle. Uugh, between the shittiness of the story, the shallowness of the characters, and the utter lack of plot... It’s tempting to find a time travel spell to remove it from existence sometimes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, it seems even here those damned awful Twilight novels were hated by all. At least some things didn’t change, something I’d probably do my damndest to hold onto during my transition here. “Yeah, I know. It’s downright terrible, I mean, the only thing worse I can think of is Fifty Shades of Grey.”
“Fifty Shades of Neigh? Even more worthless drivel. I’m a self-proclaimed bibliophile, but even I can’t stomach that garbage. It’s why I usually end up sticking to nonfiction when it comes time to find something to read.” She finished off the last bit of food on her plate, seemingly forgetting my prior remarks due to the subject straying to books. A bibliophile, hmm. I could work with this.
“I’ve always been more a fan of science fiction or fantasy fiction novels, myself. There’s just something behind the underlying themes of those genres that’s always appealed to me.” I stood up and began loading the plates and dishes back onto the trolley, only to have them yanked from my grip by a purple aura. Ah, yes. Magic. Gotta remember that.
Once all the dishes were loaded up and the trolley placed outside the room, Twilight approached me at the table, quill and parchment at the ready as she slowly closed in.
"So, Elam, tell me all about..."