Twilight and her friends came downstairs to see a pair of Mental's headless soldiers standing there, one of which was holding a sledgehammer.
"Uh... Hello!" Twilight greeted them. "What brings you here?"
The one without the sledgehammer began speaking in some alien language, which Twilight understood thanks to a quick translation spell.
"What? Teleportation? That's-" She let's out an awkward laugh. "That's ridiculous!"
The soldier started talking again.
"W-Well, we were... uh..." Twilight looked around the room, until her eyes fell on an open notebook. "We were writing a book!"
The headless troops shared a look with each other, before the hammer-less one said something that was easily understood as "About what?"
"It's about... uh..." She panicked. "You! Er, what I mean is, it's about Lord Mental's amazing army!"
The act seemed to work, as the two shrugged and followed Twilight to the desk, where she kept them busy by asking them questions and writing them down. The soldier who had the hammer had set it down against the wall, close by but still behind him.
On the stairs, Sam quietly sneaked his way down. Pinkie saw this, but stayed silent.
Sam crept over to the hammer. Making sure his fingerless gloves were properly secured, he silently picked the tool up. Getting a feel for its weight, he got in place behind the two headless troops. He made a quick motion with his head, which Twilight caught.
"Just write down what you like about working for Mental," she told the two, "I'll be right back."
The beheaded soldiers immediately started writing things, and looked to be arguing over something. Before they could come to fists, Sam tapped their shoulders. "Excuse me, freaks?"
They both turned to see him preparing to swing the same hammer they walked inside with. "Heads up!"
He swung the hammer, knocking both of them into various meaty chunks. Blood now coated part of the hammer, as well as a good portion of the floor and desk.
Behind him, the ponies grimaced at the hit. Twilight, in particular, was the most shocked. "My floor!"
"...yeah, sorry about that," Sam apologized. "I almost forgot how effective one of these babies are."
"Nevermind the hammer, dear," Rarity said, "what was with that dreadful pun?"
"I thought it was funny."
"You're also him," Dash pointed out.
"Regardless, we should come up with a plan of action."
"The 'go in and kill everything' plan hasn't failed us yet," Sam said.
"Yes, but we also have to have some kind of destination in mind, because the level has to have an ending somewhere."
Pinkie gasped. "You too?!"
"Nevermind that. There is an old castle in the middle of the... Everfree Forest, correct?"
Twilight answered. "Yes, but what good will that do us?"
"When in doubt, go to the nearest ancient place," Sam said.
"Well, in that case, the fastest way there is right next to mah farm," Applejack said. "But that no-good Mental took it from my family!"
"Well that's no problem. And which way is the farm?"
"Just west o' here."
"Then I'm going west." Sam started walking out the door, but was stopped by Twilight.
"Wait! We... we want to come with you."
"Uh, sorry, Twilight, but it's seriously better if you let me go solo. I don't have to worry about friendly fire, that way."
"Hold on, Sam. A lot of the ancient ruins and such of this world require some sort of magic, and apparently these six are the current holders of a very powerful item. They could be useful."
"Oh, fine. Jeez, Netty, you nag more than my mom, sometimes."
"Alright then, it's settled." Twilight turned to Spike. "Spike, I need you to stay here."
"What? Why?"
"Because I need someone to watch the library while we're gone."
"And besides," Rarity added, "somepony needs to watch mine and Applejack's sisters. Would you be a dear and do that, Spike?" She fluttered her eyelashes for further effect.
It worked. "Okay, Rarity, for you!" The love-struck dragon waved goodbye as the group walked outside, Sam leading the way.
Outside, it was oddly quiet.
"Huh, I thought there were aliens around," Dash commented.
"So, battle plan," Sam started. "I go and fight, while you six stay out of the way. Okay? Okay."
Dash was about to argue, but Twilight's hoof on her shoulder stopped her. Begrudgingly, she nodded her head in agreement.
Sam strode to the west, the ponies following closely. It was very cloudy that day, but there was still plenty of light to see perfectly fine. Strangely, there had been no sightings of any of the aliens.
"Huh. Usually something's tried to kill me by now," Sam mused.
Suddenly, roars could be heard down the road, followed by sets of large fists hitting the ground. Up ahead, a group of one-eyed, gorilla-like beasts ran around a house, going straight for Sam, who held his sledgehammer ready.
One by one they ran up to him, and one by one their heads were caved in by the hammer. Once all of them were taken care of, Sam brushed some errant blood of his shirt and kept moving forward, the ponies walking around the corpses.
As they continued, occasionally being stopped by a lone creature, they had eventually reached the center of town, where a pair of revolvers were conveniently placed on a nearby table. Sam picked both gun up and inspected them.
"Ah, good to see you two again!" he told the guns, twirling them around in his hands a bit.
"...were you just talkin' to your guns?" Applejack asks.
"Yeah, kind of a habit I picked up. Normally, I only have Netty to talk to."
"And is that a bad thing?"
All around them, a bunch of headless soldiers teleported in, aiming their handheld rocket launchers at the ready.
"Hold that thought, Netty." As the ponies took cover from the incoming projectiles, Sam ran out into the middle of the town square and started gunning the soldiers down. Thanks to Netricsa giving him a way to see exactly where his shots would land, even when using two different guns, he never missed a shot. Once he fired off all six bullets in both guns, he simply opened them up and dropped the spent casings out; the built-in Techno-Magical Ammo Regenerator replaced the spent bullets for fresh ones, making for easy one-handed reloads.
Once the last beheaded rocketeer was killed, Sam motioned to the ponies that it was safe, and they followed.
"So, how exactly will you help us overthrow Mental?" Twilight asked Sam.
"Pretty much by killing all his army here."
"...and then him, right?"
"Well, not exactly. You see, the whole point I went back in time was to stop my planet from being attacked and destroyed, by killing Mental in the past, which would also mean you were never attacked by him, either."
Twilight remained silent, thinking over this plan of action.
"Of course, there's the whole "alternate timelines" theory about time travel, but that's opening a can of worms that no one wants to sit through."
Conversation stopped at that, Sam dispatching the few headless troops he encountered effortlessly, until he broke the silence. "Wait, shouldn't there be ponies around here or something?"
"They probably went inside once they heard the shooting. While Mental's army has never killed anypony on purpose, it wasn't unheard of for ponies to be caught in the crossfire when they were shooting at something else," Twilight explained.
"Huh."
Soon, near the edge of town, a shotgun was sitting on a bench, surrounded by ammo. Sam eagerly picked all of it up.
"Why are these things just lying around?" Dash asked.
"When you teleported Sam here, his weapons seem to have been scattered more or less all over the place. We'll probably find the rest on our way."
The ponies just shrugged, that being as good an explanation as any. They were about to leave the town proper, when Sam stopped them.
"What- What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.
Sam shushed her, and continued listening. Ever so slightly, a certain noise became more and more noticeable on the wind...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Over a nearby hill, a lone headless soldier, this one holding a pair of bombs in his hands, came running towards them, revealing it as the source of the yelling. Once it was within range, Sam fired off a single shell, causing it to explode and its body parts to slide forward a decent distance.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA, shut up!" Sam mocked, just before becoming aware of several more shouting kamikazes coming over the hill. "Uh oh."
With no cover nearby, Twilight put up a shield around herself and her friends, while Sam started running around while blowing up more headless suicide bombers. When he killed one, three more came over the hill, and he was forced to run backwards to put some ground between himself and them. Once he was clear of them, he turned around and fired a single shot, which took all of the bunched up kamikazes out in a rain of gibs.
Eventually, the onslaught stopped, and Sam stood there catching his breath from running so much.
The ponies made their way to his side, stepping around the body parts scattered around. "Wait, if they're going to blow you up, why do they yell like that?" Dash asks.
"...That's a good question, actually," Sam admits.
"Well, th' farm's up ahead," Applejack said, pointing. "We can get to th' Everfree from there."
"Alright, let's go."
And so they went towards the farm.