//------------------------------// // 4. Salt and Grime // Story: The Shadow Over Seagift // by Monsignor Gabriel //------------------------------// 4. Salt and Grime "Excuse me, conductor, can I ask you what you know about this town?" I asked, doubting if it was worth asking. "Eh, there ain't much I know about this place. All's I know is we drop off merchants here every now and then. Judging from the trees and the lumber mill y'all probably noticed getting here, I'm pretty darn sure this is a lumberjack's town," said the young conductor. "Y'all might wanna try asking in the general store," said an older conductor. "I heard people talking about the owner like he was the goddamn mayor or something. Now, if you'll kindly step away from the platform, ma'am... The train lets out a lot of steam and it could burn you." "Thanks, I guess," I said. Darn conductors never seem to know anything about all of these places they visit. Applejack was right about how tedious getting our luggage off the train would be, and everypony was quite irritated that the majority of the luggage was Rarity's, and that nopony else cared because she kept batting her eyelashes and enticing them onwards. I, on the other hand, rather appreciated the more charismatic... Baubles of her personality, shall we say; they were mostly harmless, and sometimes they even proved themselves useful. Pinkie Pie somewhat shared my feelings, commenting on whether everypony was jealous of Rarity. Fluttershy was somewhat embarassed by the implication; Rainbow Dash brought up the incompetence of stallions and called question on what they were really for other than blocking doorways with their large frames; Applejack commented on whether stallions had any brains to speak of; Pinkie Pie looked confused entirely; Rarity defended her honor by saying most stallions could never live up to her very high expectations; I was mortified, smiling and cringing at the same time. I realized that the girls were having fun, regardless of their feelings toward each other. We were laughing, poking fun. They were dressed in beach finery, Rarity wearing sunglasses, Rainbow Dash perching her own pair on her forehead, Fluttershy wearing a beautiful bonnet, Pinkie Pie carrying a great abundance of snorkeling and free-dive accessories in her big pack. I realized I was more unassuming, and, ironically, worried about standing out. My coat was somewhat old and ratty, worn by use and time from when I bought it many years ago. It was quite warm, though, and I had no regrets on parting from it. I thought about borrowing something cute from Fluttershy as the conversation on whether Rarity was a wanton mare or not eventually led us into town, dragging Rarity's luggage behind us, and into the embrace of newfound confusion. "Wait... I thought we were going to Seagift," said Rainbow Dash. "Where the hay is 'Deepwood'?" Rainbow Dash pointed up at a sign next to the road, rotten and the painted writing faded. It read "THE HAMLET OF DEEPWOOD. POPULATION: 200" "Oh, right, forgot to mention that," I said, extracting a rail plan from the inner pocket of my coat. "Seagift never constructed a railway. I guess Deepwood is the nearest town to it. Looks like we'll have to hoof it to Seagift." "Well, shoot, Twi, ya coulda told us," said Applejack. "Where we gotta be gettin' to?" "Dunno... Maybe we should ask around," I said. I was startled by a roar greater than any I thought I would ever hear in my life. I don't know why, considering what it was; I'd heard it before, after all, and grown accustomed to it over the years, from filly to mare. "Oh no... Oh sweet Celestia, no... That was thunder." Rarity jumped up next to Fluttershy, stretching her bonnet to it's limit as she put her own head under it, her head almost ejecting Fluttershy's from under it. "IT'S GOING TO RAIN! SOMEPONY DO SOMETHING!" "Ah, fer Quick Draw McGraw's sake, it's just a little rainin', Rare," said Applejack under her voice, her cheeks burning red. Rarity's hysterical screams had attracted some unwanted attention for everybody involved. Fluttershy, in particular, being the pony in charge of sheltering Rarity from the rain now, was supremely ashamed now to be associated with someone so oblivious to the concept of appropriate outdoor voices. Yeah, there's a reason why indoor voices are quieter than outdoor voices, but being outdoors doesn't justify screaming like a bear was eating your hooves off. "Rarity... It's going to be okay, I promise," whispered Fluttershy, trying very, very hard to calm Rarity down. "QUICKLY! We must find shelter! My hair is at stake!" It didn't work. "It's alright, we kinda need information anyway. Let's go in here," I said, taking the lead. At first glance, the town of Deepwood is impossibly dissapointing to behold; to call it rustic would be to call it frilly. The first thing I noticed was the haphazard way the majority of the buildings were built. Log cabins, fractured wood plank, overgrown with mold and fungi were the dominant building materials. The roads were a complete after-thought; it was one thing not to pave them, it was another to not try to make them at all. The spaces in between buildings were mostly uneven, and in some places might be downright dangerous. The town was clearly an DIY pioneer upstart. The smell of freshly cut wood permeated the air; in the distance, I could hear a commotion and the sounds of milling equipment, hoof-powered hacksaws and all, powering down. I remember thinking it's name poignantly and suitingly beautiful; the town was nestled deep in the woods of the northeast, where the trees grew tall and strong. Residences were sparse and loosely organized, evidently built according to the wishes of the occupants and accomodating to the forest environ. I looked up and around. The town's simulation of a main street was populated with only four "stores": leftmost, a tool workshop with a sign above it called "TOOLS", followed by a windowless "WOOD" warehouse, where they stored wood to be exported and kept dry with a whole bunch of hay, lining the outside and a bit of the inside of the place, a messy and clumsy but effective way to keep wood from rotting while it awaited buyers; it didn't seem all that full, come to think of it. To the rightmost was a "CIDER" house, from whence you could hear whooping and hollering of various types and tones and intentions, all of which made me glad very few ponies in and around the train station had noticed us. Snuggled next to the cider house, the smallest of the stores and yet the tidiest, cleanest, and least haphazardly constructed, was a tiny shack with a sign that said "STORE" over it. The only thing to even acknowledge it's intention of selling things, I deduced this was what the conductor meant by the "general store". I hurried everypony along. Rarity, as melodramatic and prone to hyperbole as she was, was quite correct. Dark, judgmental clouds loomed in the distance. I also deduced, being in a deducing mood, that it was going to be an ugly morning today. We piled into the store and quickly realized just how tiny it was. The girls, riding Rarity's Roller Coaster of Girly, also gained a fear of rain, and decided waiting inside was the best option. We completely filled the store, which made it quite odd and near-uncomfortable as we huddled together near the single-door entrance. "Ey, who's hoof is that?" barked Rainbow Dash. "Ah dunno, ah can't see anythin'!" cried Applejack from the door, the last of the line. "That's... Not my hoof" said Pinkie Pie, holding in a laugh by shuttering her mouth closed by biting her lower lip. "Then... What is it?" said Rainbow Dash. "On second thought... I don't wanna know." Luckily, I led the pack, and had landed quite snugly near the booth-like structure that was where apparently the cashier, whom wasn't at attention at his or her position, conducted business. I noticed that the tiny room we were in had no shelves, no items on display. It's probably why it was so tiny and why the store in general was so small. Nothing flashy here; evidently, the owner didn't need to advertise his wares. "Um... Hello? Anypony in here?" I called. "Dagnabbit, Pinkie, get yer flank outta my face!" exclaimed Applejack. "♪ That's not my flank ♪," sang Pinkie Pie. "... Yeah it is," replied Applejack, confused. "Hey, uh, girls, d'you mind? I don't think he heard me," I said, annoyed. "Ah, tah hay with this. Ahm waitin' outside," said Applejack, going back out the door she barely entered. Everypony save Rarity agreed that the store was far too cramped, and piled themselves outside. I looked around the back of the store, separated from the room we were in by a wall. It was a weird store setup, to say the least. Even with everypony outside, the "room" was barely big enough to hold me and Rarity. There was nothing in it. It was more like a lobby, space to qualify the store as a store and not a stall with a big sunroof. "Hello? Anypony? We want to buy something!" I called again, hoping for a response. Nothing. "HEY, WE'RE PAYING CUSTOMERS AND WE DEMAND SERVICE OUT HERE!" My ears were ringing somewhat from Rarity yelling right next to it. "Wha... Who... Who'ssere?" Someone was back there after all. It sounded like a stallion on the older side. And, sure enough, with more of Rarity's egging and yelling, the cashier emerged from the back of the store. He was an elder pony with a thick, mangy, yet short and trimmed graying beard. His mane was greasy and cut short as well, though it contained far fewer grays. The top of his head was hidden by a beanie, the type that I've often seen sailors wear. He always kept one of his amber eyes closed, as though he had no use for it, or it simply didn't work. The pony was reaching his elder years, but hadn't gotten there quite just yet. He was healthy enough to be a cashier and service customers somewhat promptly, at the very least. I wondered, half-seriously, if this had been a former pirate. "Huh... Tourehsts. Don' git mucha those 'round here no more," mumbled the stallion. His voice was gruff and gravelly, with a drawl, his damaging fondness for smoking more obviously observed by the pipe in his lips. His accent was common in this part of Equestria; sailors pass it down to sailors. "How did you know we were tourists?" I said. "Ain't many Deepwoods fellers and mares dressin' like yeh, lil' filly. Heck, I say we're'n don' got nuthin' like what ye wearin' fer meeles and meeles. And I knowr'd damn nearbohdy in this'n piss'ole. Aye, ye ain't foolin' nopony. Ha!" The stallion's bark of a laugh caused him to start hacking and coughing, before forcing phlegm up out of his throat and spitting it hard enough into a nearby spitoon to make it ring. This was enough for Rarity, her face already contorted into an expression of pure horror. "I'llbeoutside," she said, very quickly, before trotting away to the door, whimpering hysterically under her voice. "Uh, sorry about her. She's a bit of a..." I began. "A silly frilly filly. Me second wifer's like'n that... Celestia rest 'er soul, ah suppose," he said, more an afterthought than a sincere tribute. "Uh, Right... I'm Twilight Sparkle, sir. What's your name?" I asked, attempting to remain as polite as possible. "Mos' folks call me The Captain." The Captain spat out another large wad of phlegm into the nearby, out-of-sight spitoon before continuing. "I never was'n fee. Me real name's Bombarda. I was'n First Mate fer nigh 38 years'n the algee farmin' ship called The Salty Barnacle, helmed by me uncle, Arlesey Bomb. What'n brings ye tah the frozen coasts'er Clydesvale, Miss Filly Sparkle?" "Well, like you said, I'm a tourist," I said. I wasn't entirely sure at the time whether Bombarda bought that, and I definitely know he didn't buy it now. "And, uh, we're wondering what there is to see around here." "Ain' nuthin' tah see 'round these 'ere parts, Ms. Filly Sparkle. Deepwood's fer the kinda stallion're lookin' fee land where'n nopony canae say nuthin' to 'em 'bout it. Thas why'em fools respect mine input and whatwhat. Ye and yer lil' filly friends oughta git back on that train ya came off and go somewheres yer wan'ed." "Um... Right," I said. I was barely containing the slight outrage and the anger I felt at how rude Bombarda was being. I was only here visiting, or at least, that's about as much as I thought he knew. But then it hit me. "Wait... How did you know we came here by train?" I asked. "Ain'tonly one aways in an' one aways out, missy. Now ya best be quittin' with the gibbergabble. Ye tell me what yer wantin' in Deepwood, lest I kick ye out by yer tout and tigh' arse," said Bombarda, poking me hard in the chest with his hoof. "Look, sir, I don't want any trouble with you. I'm just passing through." I meant it, and it was nothing but the truth. "Bullhucky. Yer a lyin' lickle swallow-mare. Me pappy for-more told me mares was only good fer one and one things. One was fer making ye dinner. 'Udder was fer lyin' and takin' yer money, bit by bit." "Sir, please, I meant no disrespect. I'm just a tourist." I felt my chest swell in anger, and I uncosciously rolled my eyes. "Whatsa matter, lil' one? Ye're afraid of the truth being shoved full in yer muzzle? Well, you just stand there and take it, whydontcha. That's all yer good fee." He poked me in the muzzle, and this time I tried to swat his hoof away vainly. It only made him pester me more. My face contorted and convulsed as I attempted to contain my anger. "Sir, please, I was just..." "Nay! Yer nothin' but a lyin' little harpy. Go suck the brother ye married's cock whydontcha. It'll wash out yer mouth faster 'an soap." He laughed out loud, and, after a while, started to hack and cough and spit. I wanted him to be quiet. I wanted him to shut up. I hated this old stallion. I hated his guts. I just wanted him to shut up. "I'm looking for Seagift." I gasped. I said it in a moment of impatience. Bombarda's eyes widened in surprise. He chuckled under his breath. He looked at me, amused, with his one good eye. He stared me down, looked me over, analyzed me, whilst I stood there, embarassed I had let such a vital secret slip out in the heat of the moment, a moment of ignorance and rage. He pushed me to it. It's only now I realize that he pushed me to it purposely. I wonder now whether he hasn't done something like this before; brow-beating a lost tourist into upchucking their business. If I had stood there any longer, I wonder what other terrible secrets about myself he would have forced me to distill. "Tell me, Miss Prissy Sparkle... Whatsa mare like ye wantin' in a dirty old place like'n Seagift?" he whispered. "... Something important." I growled it. I was angry at Bombarda; I was sick of him, and I wanted him to know. "I'll betcha them's correct an' all." He was giddy. He was pushing me for more answers. I swore to myself not to give him anything else. "Oh, isn't that sweet'nall. Ye think ye canae go and dig somethin' up about it. I'll betcha ye think're a big-brained girly girl, right? Whatcha lookin' fe init, Miss Twilight Sparkle?" "That's... None of your business." I put my hoof up on the counter. "Methinks I have a right tae know. Y'ain't thinkin' o' tellin' me, me could just ring up a couple of me boys. Their wives're no longer satisfyin' 'em as much as they'n thought'ed would. Ye have some fine child-bearin' hips, ya do." A chill ran up my spine. I said nothing. My face was contorted in a fury that made my entire body go numb. I wanted to jump over the counter and trample him. I would have, come to think of it, if he had pushed me just a bit further. "I could hurt you instead, if you'd rather have it that way." I couldn't believe my own ears then, nor do believe I said such things now. "... I like ye, Miss Prissy Sparkle. Ye ain't all that prissy atall. I sees it in yer eyeballs. Anyfoal can reach're way ter Seagift. Just tread along're road northways. Would ye be wantin' anything else from me shop? Some raincoats, mayhaps?" "Five. For my friends." I never took my eyes off him. "Aye. They and they're not the best dressed, I estimate. Quite odd fer a pony bright as ye fer havin' ditzies like tha' as friends. Hehehehe." My legs were so numb from being stiff with fury that I nearly stumbled out of the store. "Here. Raincoats." I shoved them into everypony's hooves. "Ugh... Where did you get these, Twi?" said Rainbow Dash. "Store," I said, struggling to contain my frustration, breathing deep, calming breaths. "They smell somethin' awful," said Applejack, sniffing them. "There's no way I'm wearing THAT," exclaimed Rarity. "You either wear them or you get wet." My voice was venomous again and I hadn't even noticed. "Twilight... Did something happen?" said Fluttershy. "You look... Angry." "It's nothing... That old stallion was just being grumpy and rude is all." "Eeyup. Granny Smith can' git that way sometimes," said Applejack, smiling, trying, I figure, to defuse the situation somewhat. "Yeah, whatever. Wear the coat, Rarity. Stop complaining so much," said Rainbow Dash, throwing the raincoat on with flair. "But... Idontwannawearthecoat..." murmured Rarity under her breath. It was whining, wheezy and funny. She put it on anyway. It made me laugh inside. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie glanced a brief flash of a smile on my face, and giggled. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked smug. Rarity was mortified. "It smells like dead fish," said Rarity. "My grammy used to say that's what dead ponies smelled like!" blurted Pinkie Pie. Rarity screamed very loudly, throwing the coat off her mane. The rest of us howled with laughter at the sight. "Th-That's not f-funny!" she said. "OH NO!" Rarity picked it straight up off the mud and turned it inside out, very quickly draping it on herself once again. With some light thunderclap, the storm brewing overhead finally began it's downpour. The rain drops were heavy and cold, and came down with some ferocity. "Guess we gotta thank ya lots for th' coats, Twi. We'd be soakin' wet tryin' to get to that podunk algae town," said Applejack, speaking over the patter of rain by raising her voice. "Did th' store owner say which way we gotta go?" "Yeah! He said we gotta go north, that there's going to be a pathway. I think he was telling the truth; the coast is that way," I cried back. The rain eased up on us somewhat as we treaded the mud roads of Deepwood deep into the forest. The great, towering alpine trees made the day seem all the more like the night, the sun obscured by clouds almost completely, a great grey blanket that extended as far as we could see. I heaved and sighed and breathed deeply with the others, as our stroll along the mud had turned into a hiking trip up haphazard terrain. The more we got away from Deepwood, the more the road seemed to disappear... Until there wasn't any more road. "Well... Poop," I said. "Twilight!" said Pinkie Pie, brow furrowed and disgust on her lips. "Such... Language!" "This isn't good... Should we just keep going north?" asked Fluttershy. "Oh, for Celestia's sake..." said Rainbow Dash, smacking herself on the forehead with her hoof. "Why haven't I thought of this before? How about I fly up and take a look?" "That's a great idea!" I said. "Do it now before..." We all twitched and jumped a bit at another obscenely loud thunderclap that sounded as though it landed too close for comfort. A slight roar came to our ears. The hairs on my back stood up on end as the cold of the rain enveloped me. My cloth coat was soaking wet. The girls squealed and swore, some of them covering their faces with their legs or pulling their hoods over their eyes. The rain was now coming down as hard as it could. Intense gales whipped at us as though somepony were trying to rend our skins as punishment. We had to yell almost at the top of our lungs to hear ourselves over the whistling roar. "I can't... See anything!" shouted Rarity. "We have tah go back! This is dangerous!" yelled Applejack, right next to my ear. "We can't now! We couldn't see a road when it wasn't raining cats and dogs; we're going to get lost in the woods!" I yelled back. "Let me get up there! I think I can kick away some clouds and get the rain to ease up!" yelled someone. "Rainbow Dash, DON'T!" I heard a voice say. "OW! WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YOU, FLUTTERSHY?" Rainbow Dash sounded furious. "You can't! You'll get struck by lightning or hurt yourself from the wind!" said Fluttershy, her voice breaking. "I DON'T CARE, DON'T PULL ON MY TAIL, IT HURTS!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "We need to stick together ANYWAY, silly!" yelled Pinkie Pie at Rainbow Dash. "We can't see anything! Were you going to kick at the clouds WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?" "We need tah move and y'all need to stop fightin'! Twilight, please tell me y'all have a plan, right?" said Applejack. "Alright..." I said. I thought for a while, and then yelled at the top of my lungs so everypony could hear me: "Everpony, huddle together tight. We can't see too far ahead, so use the forest lines and each other as a reference. If you can't feel each other's fur, then huddle closer! Keep walking forward... We should be fine." I said the latter part under my breath. "ALRIGHT, EVERYPONY HEAR THAT?" roared Applejack. "YEAH!" the others said almost in unison. Like a strange battalion of soldiers, they locked each other to the other using some part of their body. To a bit of embarrassment, somepony pressed their cheek against my flank, though I was certain there were more embarrassing positions I could be in. I was stuck at the front, and was glad to somehow lead the group forward. We were silent; we probably would have to strain our voices further in the storm, and any effort at communications should have probably been kept between the nearest pony. I felt fear in them. None of them wanted to break their bond from the other, lest they get lost and attacked by the weather. We learned that maybe this was the best idea as a particularly powerful gale wind almost swept us away. We were frightened, and screamed. I dug my hooves into the ground. "IS EVERYPONY OKAY?" I yelled. Nobody heard me, or I didn't hear them reply. I only heard the rage of the storm. And just as we struggled, blindly, through fog and haze and hail and sleet and cold rain, it stopped. Completely, the storm ceased, and I felt water drip off of me. I raised my head and saw it. "We're here," I whispered. Everyone heard me. They looked up too.