Sweet Celestia, I wanted to die.
“Rrrrrrr…. Hhhhhhh… Oh, for goodness sake! Why must the next Gemstone be located in such a harsh, unforgiving environment as this?”
I wish I had known what a freezing cold place the Pharos Mountains were before Fluttershy and I agreed to this trail. I would’ve instantly asked for a different path. The winds were so agonizingly strong that I couldn’t even describe to you what the Pharos Mountains look like. No fun times to be had here.
“It’s-it’s not that b-b-bad, Rarity. We just have to… k-k-keep pressing on until we f-f-find that gem.”
Always the optimist, that Fluttershy…
“But I can’t even see in front of my own nose with this nasty wind!” And it didn’t help that the long scarf I had put on kept crashing into my face. “Ohhhh… how much further until we at least get a ping of where that stupid thing is?” I moaned.
“Ah! I think I’ve got something.” And all of a sudden, it was like my dear Fluttershy suddenly had a spring in her step as she started running ahead.
“You-you’ve got a ping?” I replied. I was trying to best to run alongside her, impaired vision and all. “Great! Where?”
“Uhhh… over there! I-I think I see a cave to the left!”
“Alright, if you say so—DOOOF!”
Yes, that’s right. The wind was so bad that I ran right into the wall right next to the cave. Let’s just forget that it happened and not speak of it again.
“Yes, I can feel it! It’s somewhere in here!”
“Ugh… in this wet, icy cave? I don’t know if a cave opening could look any more uninviting!” I protested.
Wouldn’t you? I mean, apart from looking all cold and icy, there was water dripping from the ceiling, threatening to ruin my newly-groomed mane! And the puddles were going to make my hooves so messy. There were hanging from above and decorating the floor from below, not particularly stable looking. And not just that… the whole thing smelled like a wet dog or something.
“Rarity, we have to do this.”
“But my hair!”
“Rarity…”
“I know. You’re right. Let’s go.”
I hate how persuasive Fluttershy can b—Oh, who am I kidding, that’s one of the things I love the most about her. It’s always nice to see her be more assertive for herself, rather than the meek little pony she used to be. Not to mention she looks… quite breathtaking when she’s standing up for herself.
Oh, dear. I’m getting sidetracked again, aren’t I?
Anyway, so the two of us started moving down the cave, ignoring all the… ahem, unpleasantries along the way…
“Ugh! These puddles are everywhere!”
Well, you know how it is.
But we were moving along just fine, until…
“ROOOAAARRR!”
“W-W-What was that?”
“It must’ve been a bear,” I realized. “Don’t polar bears live in snowy mountains like these?”
“Well sometimes. It’s just…” Oh, no. “They’re not always friendly. Maybe we should get out of here.”
“Oh, Fluttershy, come here…” That seems to be my defensive instinct these days, hugging my sweet, sweet Fluttershy. “Come on. You know we have to keep going. Besides, you’re good with animals, remember? If you could talk down a big, mean old fire-breathing dragon, then you shouldn’t be scared of a polar bear, right?”
“Right… yes, you’re right, Rarity. I’m not scared.”
“Good! Now let’s go.”
We kept trudging on for a while through the… icky caves. I couldn’t help but notice while we were moving that Fluttershy had been extremely silent since I comforted her. I had to make sure she wasn’t still scared.
“Fluttershy darling, are you quite alright?”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Clearly not so, since she seemed to have been spacing out until I mentioned her name.
“It’s just that you’ve been awfully quiet since we came in here. You’re not still scared, are you?”
“Oh no, it’s not that…”
“Well then, what is it? Something on your mind?”
“Sort of.” She paused for a second, glancing at an icicle. “Rarity, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, darling,” I answered back.
“Well, it’s—the thing is… do you, um… do you ever want ki—”
“WAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WAAAHHHH!”
“Sssh! Sssh! Do you hear that?”
“It sounds like… like something crying. Over there!”
I looked at where Fluttershy was pointing, and I could make out a small shape in the distance. But all the mist in the cave made it a bit hard to see. I heard Fluttershy gulp as we both slowly walked forward towards the figure.
Finally, only several feet away, I finally saw what it was.
“Why, it looks like a baby polar bear!”
“Oh my goodness,” said Fluttershy. “It is!”
The cub stopped crying and turned around when it noticed us, making me grit my teeth. But instead of attacking us, it just resumed its tears.
“Waaahh! Waaahh!”
“Oh, dear…”
“Fluttershy, wait!”
But Fluttershy immediately flew over to the poor animal and started nuzzling it with her hoof.
“Aw, there, there, sweetie. It’s okay. No need to cry…” At once, the cub stopped crying and looked up quizzically at her. That Fluttershy, and her way with animals… “Aww, aren’t you just the cutest thing! But gosh, where are your parents? A little cub like you shouldn’t be in a scawwy cave like this all alone!”
As if realizing something, the cub looked in several directions, and started to work up another bawl.
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Well… I guess we’ve figured out why it’s crying,” I stated.
“Awwwww, don’t worry, little angel. Rarity and I will help you find your mommy and daddy, won’t we?”
“…We will?”
“We have to!” Fluttershy protested. “We can’t just leave him here! He might starve to death… or worse! Come on, Rarity! Pleeaase?”
“Rrrrrr?”
Ohhh… it’s hard enough to say no to Fluttershy, much less a sad, pitiful looking baby animal.
“Oh, alright.”
“Hurray!”
“Rar rar!”
“But let’s be quick about it,” I reprimanded. To make my point clear, I walked ahead to get us moving again. “The less time we spend in these dark, danky caves, the better.”
“You hear that, little guy? We’re going to bring you back home, oh, yes we are!”
Fluttershy was clutching the little thing in her hoof now as she nuzzled its face, just like, well… like a mother would to her child. She let it climb onto her back as she kept speaking tenderly to it. “And don’t you worry your fluffy little head; I won’t let anything hurt you. I promise.”
She’s so charming with baby animals. She seems to be a natural with kids in general, if that one time I let my sister and her friends sleep over leads to believe. Hmm, I wonder if she…
Mmm, no. Probably not.
And doggone it, tell the truth this time!
Alright, alright, fine! As if I wasn’t going to, anyway…
Ahem, so yeah. Okay, Applejack’s told me I have to ‘stretch’ the facts a bit to make this whole story seem a bit fairer…
Ah’m gonna stretch somethin’ of yours in a minute!
Just a voice from the peanut gallery, ignore it. Anyway, are you guys ready to hear the tale of how Rainbow Dash and Applejack found the third gemstone in…
THE A-MARE-ZON JUNGLE!
Where… we actually found it pretty quickly.
“Well, that was easy! Come on, let’s go find the last one! At this rate, maybe we’ll beat the others to Trotzamore!”
“Now, hold on a minute, Rainbow! Don’t ya think it’s mighty strange that somepony would just leave a fancy pink diamond on a stone pedestal in the middle of a forest clearing, not guarded or anything?”
“…Not really.”
“Y’all serious? Even when the pedestal is moving back into the ground on its own?”
Turns out that for once, Applejack really did have a reason to be all cautious and paranoid. Taking the thing off of that pedestal set off booby traps!
Applejack and I looked up and there was a whole wave of arrows heading towards us! There must’ve been hundreds of them!
There were only twenty! I counted, for dang sake!
Okay, okay, fine, so there were only twenty. Whatever. Geez.
So I—I mean, Applejack deduced that whatever tribe used to live here must’ve laid the traps down, in order to keep the thing from being stolen. Something about it being sacred or something…
But, yeah. Booby traps! There were snakes hidden in the trees, a button on the ground that launched a swinging axe, and there was even a flaming barrel!
Right, Applejack? Those all happened, didn’t they?
Yeah, yeah, you got it down on that part. But ah’m still watchin’ y’all.
See?
Then, right at the end of it, was the worst one of them all!
A GIANT MONKEY!
RAINBOW GRIGORA DASH!
I was getting there, okay?
…
Hey Applejack, no offense, but would you mind leaving? You’re kind of ruining my mojo right now.
Yer WHAT? Oh… fine then. But if y’all start lyin’, ah’ll know about it!
Phew. Didn’t think she’d ever leave.
She’s right, though. The giant monkey ended up just being… some sort of flimsy stage prop, and it fell apart almost as soon as we triggered it to swoop out of the tree.
“Well, that was anticlimactic.”
“Ah sure hope that’s the last of ‘em. At least we still managed to get away with this diamond.”
“Actually, I think that’s called a quartz.”
At least, that’s what Fluttershy called it once. I don’t know, she’s more of a gem expert than I am.
The whole thing was going pretty smoothly too, until, well…
“Hey, Rainbow, look at that! Looks like a pair of rock climbers on that cliff over there!”
“Ehh?”
Yeah, there was a large rock wall on the other side of that part of the forest, and we could see two ponies that looked like a couple climbing up it.
“Alright, honey. Almost there!”
“Are—are you sure, Rick?”
“Well, ain’t that sweet.”
Applejack may have thought it was sweet, but it just made me feel uncomfortable, especially when…
“Of course, I’m sure, honey! I would never lie to you, would I?”
“No. Of course you wouldn’t. You’re my sweetheart. I love you, and I put my trust in you! I just wish you would climb a little faster.”
“Oh come on, what’s the matter? I’m not stallion enough for you now? OKAY, HERE I COME!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“What the—Rainbow? What’s the matter with y’all? WHERE ARE YA GOIN’!?”
“Come on, AJ! Let’s get out of this forest, FAST!”
And if that wasn’t bad enough, what happened next was…
I’m sorry, c-can I just lie down for a moment, actually? Yeah, I just… I just need a moment. I’m sorry.
“Come on, little guy… You can do it. You just have to strike at the right moment and… yay! There you go! Ooh, that’s such a big fish, too!”
It’s so lucky that we were able to find a small lake full of fish in this cave. The poor little guy was getting really hungry, and if we didn’t find food for him soon, we might’ve had to feed him through… other methods.
…
I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.
“I’m so proud of you, little guy! Oh, yes I am! I’m so, so, so proud of you! You’re going to grow up to be a big, strong polar bear one day, I just know it!”
I think I heard him purr as he hugged my neck, which is pretty surprising. I didn’t even know polar bears could purr!
“Wow, Fluttershy, you’re really good with this. Why, it’s almost as if you’ve read books on how to deal with children!”
“What? No, I haven’t! W-what could’ve ever possibly given you THAT idea!?”
“Umm…”
She doesn’t know… does she?
“Well, now that we’ve got junior’s appetite taken care of, I’m just wondering where its parents could be. We—”
“His.”
“Sorry. Where his parents could be. We’ve been walking in these caves for what seems like an hour now. Junior couldn’t have gotten that far lost from them, could he?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Rrrarr rrarr…” I felt the little guy curl up to me as he seemed like he was going to cry again. “Oh, don’t worry… I promised you we were going to find your mom and dad, and we will!”
“ROOOOAAAARRRR!”
“Speak of the devil…” Rarity whispered, as I heard her gulp.
I felt the ground shaking at my hooves. And right before our very eyes, we finally saw what was roaring at us…
“F-Fluttershy, do polar bears n-n-normally grow that big?”
“I-I don’t think so…”
They were HUGE. About a quarter times bigger than any polar bear I’d ever seen! They had piercing yellow eyes, and rough, pointed fur on their back and shoulders, which almost looked like it was frozen over at the tips. They had long black claws, and should I mention… how sharp their teeth were?
“Little guy, a-are those your parents?”
The cub nodded at me. So, taking a gulp of my own, I courageously stepped forward and placed him in front of us for its parents to see.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bear. We, um… we found your lost cub for you. Heh-heh, uh, it was our sincere pleasure to bring him home, and we’re so happy to give him back to you. So, yeah… we’re cool now, right?”
One of the bears, the father I assumed, leaned his head forward in my direction. He stared at me for a few seconds… and then roared in my face, blowing back my entire mane.
“RRRROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!”
“…Rarity?”
“Yes, Fluttershy?”
“Run.”
♪ Row row row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream! ♪
“Whoo-hoo! Come on Twilight, sing it with me this time!”
“Pinkie… as much as it always brightens up my mood to hear you bust a tune, you’ve been singing that same song for the past half an hour now. Don’t you want to switch it up a little?”
“Twilight, you just don’t get it,” Pinkie responded, shaking her head. “You can’t simply row a boat down a lake without singing ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ several times! IT’S FORBIDDEN!”
“Sigh… If you say so.”
A steady rhythm of splashing sounds accompanied the duo as they rowed their boat gently down the str—Ahem. As they rowed through Lake Meghan in pursuit of the third gem on their trail.
Rowing with Twilight is so much fun, Pinkie thought to herself. In fact, this whole journey has been fun! Twilight and I have been bonding so well. I think the prophecies are closer than ever to finally becoming true!
“Seriously though, doesn’t it seem oddly convenient to you that somepony just happened to leave a boat and a pair of oars, in perfect condition, by the dock of the lake, with no owner or even a shack in sight?” Twilight noted. “Especially considering the forest is too thick to walk through, so we needed one anyway.”
Pinkie snorted in response.
“Silly Twilight! Obviously, the boat fairy was watching over us and left it here!”
“Yeah, okay,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes.
“You don’t want to mess with the boat fairy, Twily! You never know when she’ll wake up on the wrong side of the pixie hollow and decide to drop a boat right on top of your house!
“Okay, okay Pinkie, I see what you—” She stopped mid-sentence and turned to her boatmate with wide eyes. “Did… you just call me Twily?”
“No!” Pinkie covered her muzzle and shifted her eyes around. “…Maybe.”
“Well, apart from that coincidence,” she continued. “It’s also lucky that, well, if my senses are correct, the gemstone is literally right on the other side of the lake. So hopefully, we’ll be able to simply grab it and continue on to Forbidden Cliffs of Lyshacria. I just hope we’re able to find the last gemstone before—Pinkie, are you even listening?”
Pinkie had stopped rowing and was gazing in amazement at the lake water, even licking her lips at one point.
“Oooh, fun! Twilight, you didn’t tell me there would be candy on this lake!”
“Huh? Candy? Pinkie, what the heck are you talking about? There isn’t any caaandy… on… this… lake?”
But sure enough, there were little candy treats gradually floating along the surface of the lake. Bonbons, lollipops, jelly beans… you name it.
“H-how is this possible?” Twilight wondered aloud. “There must be somepony pouring all of this—OW!”
“Gasp! Oh my gosh! Doughnuts raining from the sky!”
In addition to the floating candy, all different kinds of doughnuts and pastries began falling from the sky and landing in the boat, repeatedly thonking Twilight on the head.
“WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS HAPPENING!?”
“Don’t you see, Twily!?” Pinkie exclaimed as she held Twilight close. “Candies in the lake, donuts raining from the sky, it must all be a part of the PROPHECIES!”
“R-Really?”
“Well… I don’t know,” she admitted. “But these seem like the sort of ‘signs’ you would see in a typical prophecy.”
“Wait… what prophecies?” Twilight questioned, lowering an eyebrow at Pinkie. “Hang on… if it me, or is it starting to get a little foggy?”
Indeed, a thick mist began to materialize over the lake, enveloping the boat. To add to the mysterious happenings, a bright light suddenly appeared in the distance, forcing both of them to cover their eyes.
“Wh-What is that, Twilight?”
“Honestly Pinkie, I don’t know what’s going on anymore!” Twilight shouted in frustration. “First randomly appearing pastries, then unusual fog, and now this!? All logic is being thrown out the window right now!”
“What window?”
But they both grew quiet when a mysterious sound began to chime from the light. The sound seemed to captivate them both, as they stared into the light with glistening eyes.
“It sounds like… somepony singing,” Twilight whispered.
“It’s so beautiful…” said Pinkie, in a whisper.
As the singing grew more vivid, the light grew brighter and brighter, until Twilight and Pinkie both had to snap their eyes shut and turn away.
Eventually, Twilight felt it dim, but she opened her eyes to an amazing sight.
“Books?”
Several different books were floating in the air around her. They danced in circles around her head, until they all grouped together to from a trail into what seemed like a portal.
“Books…” Twilight kept uttering. “Wonderful, insightful stacks of absolute literary splendor…”
As if drawn to whatever lied within, the books all began meandering into the portal. This included the books in Twilight’s saddlebag, which Twilight gripped onto as it carried her into the mysterious gateway.
“Wait for me…” she muttered in a strangely airy voice.
With a white twinkle momentarily blinding her, Twilight came to… only to discover herself in a completely different location.
“What…?”
She was inside of a giant library, so big it almost seemed to be the size of an entire regal city. There were shelves of books as high and as far as the eye could see. The stair rails and ladders were all radiating a magnificent gold, and the tables were floating a few inches off the ground, stacks of books resting on top of them.
“Books… books… BOOKS!”
Twilight hovered around the massive study room with looks of absolute glee and wonder, her smile reaching to the very top of her cheekbones.
A tall figure in a dark cloak appeared next to her, handing her a book from the highest shelf.
“Here, let me get that for you,” it said in a youthful female voice.
“Gee, thanks,” said Twilight. “If you don’t mind, do you think you could set my other books on that table over there?”
“Certainly, my dear.” Using what appeared to be some form of telekinesis, the figure mentally lifted the books from Twilight’s saddlebag and read them off as it accounted them. However, the figure stopped at one particular book, its title unmarked. It skimmed through the pages quickly, before tossing it aside.
“Hmmph. You won’t be needing this book any longer, my dear…”
“Twilight?” Pinkie called. Her eyes were still shut tight from the blinding light. “Wh-where’d you go? Hello? Twilight?”
The light dimmed around her, allowing her to open her eyes once more. As soon as she did, her eyes grew wide.
“Whoa…”
Right in front of Pinkie Pie, now alone on the boat, a familiar building was floating in the air above.
“What are you doing here, Sugarcube Corner? You’re supposed to be back in Ponyville! Hmm… say, got any sweets inside ya?”
The doors swung open, as the angelic singing beckoned her from within.
“Yippee!”
With a hop, skip, and a jump, Pinkie leapt right through the doors, to find herself in a strange place.
It was a never-ending field, with tall red grass swaying in the wind. Giant candy canes were sticking out of the ground, and a stream of what looked like orange soda was flowing next to Pinkie Pie. Best of all… it was raining gumdrops.
“Wowwww. What is this place?”
The singing continued, however it now sounded more youthful and child-like. Sure enough, Pinkie watched in amazement as a baker’s dozen of little fillies and colts all sprung from the grass, singing their merry tune.
Pinkie glanced all around her, a huge smile creeping up on her face as she took in all the sights.
“This… is… PARADISE! Candy raining from the sky, orange soda rivers, happy singing children, what else could possibly make this more perfect?”
She popped a gumdrop in her mouth tapped her hoof with her chin as she gazed around her, only noticing as she looked up that the clouds above looked like they were made out of cotton candy. She inspected the red grass a bit closer and pulled some off, revealing that it was in fact…
“Mmm, licorice!” She tossed some in her mouth and started chewing it, until she appeared to have a sudden realization, spitting the stuff out. “Wait! I know what’s missing from this place. I wish my friend Twilight Sparkle were here!”
As soon as she mentioned Twilight’s name, the children’s singing came to an abrupt halt. As Pinkie watched in confusion, they all turned to face her with blank stares on their faces.
“What? Was it something I said?” She shrugged.
The children slowly began to advance on her, holding their hooves out towards Pinkie.
“Okay-heh-heh, what’s, uh… what’s going on here, kids? We’re all friends here, right? You’re nice kids.”
And the closer they got, the more horrifying their appearances suddenly became.
“Nice… friendly… kids…”
As Pinkie trembled in terror, the kids’ eyes started to bulge out. Their hair began to grow longer, and their hooves started swelling at the ends.
“Nice… friendly… not-scary kids…”
But then they all stopped. Finally, one of the kids, a white filly with poofy yellow hair, walked up to Pinkie… and hissed in her face, lashing her thin, lizard-like tongue.
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”